Day Fourteen - Leenie Challenge

Today wasn't eventful at all.

Went to work and had Debbie back from a 3 week work experience in another creche and then back again and said to me that I am looking really good and that she would like to have my clothes when they are too big for me. I felt like saying to her that if she was losing the weight she wouldn't need my clothes but didn't want to get in to that. Apparently the other teachers were saying that she is eating chocolate every day and just not wanting to lose the weight.

I want to say something to her but it got to be such a battle where I was propping her up all the time and helping her lose the weight that I wasn't concentrating on my own weight loss. I might say something subtle and see how I go because I don't want her to go backwards but I am certainly not going to be concentrating on her weight loss anymore either.... so we shall see.

Went shopping yesterday to get a Fathers day present for hubby and OMG is he hard to buy for or what. I am tired of buying him books and CD's OMG for 18 years all he wants for Xmas and Birthdays is Books and CD's and I do understand that it is nice to get things that you like but it gets a little boring for the people buying. So I brought something (now I am not telling you right now because he reads this blog sometimes and I don't want him to know what the boys got him... but it wasn't a book or a CD wooohoooo me!!).

I was so down in the dumps last week when I felt I was gaining weight and I was doing well. I was telling my email buddy all about it everyday and she must have been getting annoyed he he he but I just could feel the clothes getting tighter... well yesterday I finished my monthly and OMG do I feel good today and feel like I am back where I was a week ago... it is bliss. I was getting upset because I knew I had been trying hard to be good and it didn't feel right.

Has anyone else noticed when they had lost a lot of weight that their monthly's were different. I never used to go longer that 5 days and now they are longer and also it used to be like a 38 day cycle and now it is a 28 day cycle... I know I know it is great that it is normal health wise but OMG I don't feel like it is great when I have more of them a year now he he he but I am also feeling really moody (when I didn't before) and heavy and angry... it is the weirdest thing ever.

Anyway have a good night everyone
Love Chubbymum

5513

Day Thirteen - L Challenge

Needless to say I am gutted that I have gained this week but I am being realistic as I know I have been good and I did lose (for me) a huge amount last week.

I am keeping on track (weight loss buddy knows this) and I am doing my exercise and so this week coming once my monthly is over I know it is going to change.

I am feeling good about the exercise and tracking at the moment and feel like I am finally back on a routine.

I have noticed that when eating my breakfast lately that I am getting full and usually breakfast's are terrible and I feel like I have never had enough so something is changing for me.

Weigh in day at home today:

Gain: 500 grams

Current weight: 120.4 kgs

Total loss from WW: 34.3 kgs

Total loss from start: 39.6

..............................................................

Leenie Challenge: 115.6 kgs

Started: 13 August 2007
End Date: 1 October 2007

To lose 6 kilos in 7 weeks

Start Weight: 121.6 kgs
Current Weight: 120.4 kgs

How much lost so far: 1.2 kgs
How much to go: 4.8 kgs

It is going to happen!!

I am going to keep it up!!

I did not give up last week and I am not going to give up this week because of what the scales say as I know I have been good.

That is all I have to say on the weight loss subject.

Anyway I am still gloating about yesterday's post with my beautiful beautiful boys and how great they did in soccer this year... how awesome is that.

Back at work today. As you all know I work 3 days a week but this week it is sort of like 4 days as I am going up to Auckland on Thursday (my day off) with some of the ladies from here for a course grrrrrr but hey I get paid for it and lunch gets paid so that is life aye.... it will be good to meet some of the other ladies up there too as I am always talking on the phone with them but never see them in person. Now the thing is what to wear he he he.

Anyway gotta get some work done.

Chubbymum


5438

Day Twelve - L Challenge

I am going to gain this week. Not because I haven't done my exercise or that I haven't tracked because I have but because I have my bloody monthly and I feel bloated and terrible but I am keeping to it... I feel great because I am tracking and because I am walking so so so much more and I have decided that every Sunday night I am going to post how many steps I have taken for the week from now on and also the km's it amounts to... I am sooo much happier thinking about my food and even though I will gain this week (because I always do when I have my monthly) I am not going to gain next week... I am going to aim for this challenge.

I went back through my posts and last time I had my monthly I tried really hard and I gained 800 grams so it is logical that I will this time as well and I just get it off the week after. I am not going to let Leenie keep these clothes he he he he.

Saturday:

Got up and ready for taking the boys to their LAST games and I went with Corbin and hubby went with Quinn.

These two photos are of the boys before they got all grubby... sometimes I reckon my boys think that they are playin rugby and not soccer he he he.

It was the most exciting game watching Corbin's game because if they won this game then they either were going to tie for the Championship or win the Championship depending what the other top team was going to get with their game.

I think I made so many steps yesterday because me and the other mums were jumping on the sidelines everytime they got a goal and the team's parents on the other side didn't understand why were were screaming and so me being sooo excited shouted "if we win this game we have won the championship" and so they were smiling and understanding why were were overracting after that.

In the last half I was asked to sub and in the end didn't because everytime I tried to sub the coach would sub them off again quickly... and Corbin wasn't allowed to be subbed off at the end either and he missed a goal by the bloody goaly (OMG I wanted to slap the goalie he he he).

Above is Corbin going for the ball to get it in the goal

Above is the ball in the air (yellow arrow pointing)

Above the bloody Goaly GRRRRRR catching the ball OMG he almost missed it but got the bloody thing... was gutted as it would have been good for Corbin to end the game on his goal GRRRR.

THEY WON THEY WON THEY WON and at the end the parents were hugging the parents and the kids were hugging the kids and I didn't think I could jump and down so much in my life it was BLOODY excellant and I was so so so proud.


So when we went home we got everyone showered and ready and then went to do groceries... and got home and mum watched the boys while hubby and I went for a walk and we went for about an hour and a half and it was great to talk and not be interrupted by the kids etc.

In the afternoon I made some cards to sell on trademe so I can make some money us so hubby and I can actually go to the movies or something like that.

I was getting quite upset today worrying about the fact that I was trying so hard to do my exercise this week and track and I wasn't losing. But hubby had a huge talk to me and said that I am doing all I can and it will come right once the monthly is finished and I should know by now that I gain in that week and the numbers on the scale do not mean anything when you know you are living healthy and doing the exercise. I agree with him now that I think about it but it is hard when people are watching me do this challenge and I am gaining.... so tomorrow expect a gain but next week OMG watch out because those 118's are coming my way.

Sunday:

We got up at 9am and had breakfast and then went for a walk. We starte at 10.30 and got back at 12.30 and in the middle of all that walk we went and played soccer and ran around the field and also walked to the shops to get pita breads and ham and lettuce and so in all that I did a lot of steps and had fun with the kids and got my ball skills up he he he. It is amazing how your ball skills get better when you have to kick it up the foot path all the way on the walk... makes you think how to control it.

I am now going to go and make some cards...

Love ya all... will try and update on what we are have done for the rest of Sunday later.

Chubbymum

My steps this week were the following:

Steps: 61,142
Kilometres: 39.6
Average steps a day: 8,735

My steps last week were the following:

Steps: 48,529
Kilometres: 31.5
Average steps a day: 6,933

That means and increase of the following:

Steps: 12,613 (increase)

Kilometres: 8.1 (increase)

Average Steps: 1,802 (increase)

I am so proud of these stats.. and if I don't lose this week it isn't because I haven't increased my exercise and tracked and these stats prove that to me... I have to keep that in mind at the weigh in tomorrow. I am an achiever! I am successful but there are always hiccups in my road. I am going to make goal. I am going to make this L Challenge. I am going to be happy.



5423

Day Eleven - L Challenge

Went for a walk today again because it was another lovely lovely lovely day.

I didn't go as far as I did yesterday... think I learnt my lesson lol.

I just have to say M.... missed you.

I enjoyed today. I enjoyed today because I didn't have to be anywhere or do anything like I usually have to do every day off so I went to my study to do some creating and found the room a mess so I cleaned it up first and then sat down and did some stamping for cards. It was really theraputic for me. I am considering making lots and selling them on trademe or something like that. I want to make some money because at the moment I am feeling quite strapped for money with Corbin's birthday, Fathers day, my birthday and Quinn's birthday in the next month it is just too much in one month.

I have missed making.. just because, I want to make cards ya know... just to be creative. I was in my room and was thinking (geesh that is terrible to be thinking he he he he he) I wish I could do this as a full time job. To be creative and to sell and make because I am enjoying and not because I have to do it to someone else's specifications... just to be creative. Hmmm going to make an effort to be more creative from now on.

So....... I got my monthly today OMG it explains it all... the moods, the depression the feeling like I should be eating everything under the sun (but I haven't).

I have tracked this week... my buddy is making sure of that and also hubby but I am going to either stay the same or gain this week because I feel it in my clothes and everything else but hey 1 week out of my 7 isn't bad because I know it will be because of my monthly and not because I haven't done enough exercise or not tracked... as I have. So I am trying to be realistic and to not put too much hope this week but to still keep tracking and exercising.

Corbin's and Quinn's last soccer game tomorrow and there is a lot riding on Corbin's game because if they win this they will either tie or win the Championship it is going to be so tense yet exciting tomorrow... ok yep yep yep proud mum and going to miss soccer..... not the early mornings but going to miss watching and cheering from the sidelines.

Goodnight everyone and have a great weekend.

Love Chubbymum

Day Ten - L Challenge

I must say that I am getting pretty worried that I can't keep up this intensity for 7 weeks (well 6 weeks left). I am glad I have a challenge and it is a fantastic one but I seem to fail on the secon week after losing a big amount on the first.

I am still going with it and I am still tracking and I have a buddy that is keeping track of my tracker but have been really worried this week that I am not going to lose anything. I have NEVER lost 6 kilos in 7 weeks not even 4 kilos in 6 weeks so it is doing my head it.. NO I am not going to give up but it feels really unreachable at the moment.

I have an email buddy and she has been keeping me down on earth and making me believe in myself so it has been great to be able to tell her what I am feeling and she is a bit of an email junkie to so it has been great.

My day has been great.

How beautiful was it today!!! The sun was shining and there wasn't hardly any wind and I walked the boys to school and did Quinn's class spelling test and then decided to go for a walk. I just took off and then got to Corbin's soccer practice field and decided I would run one side walk one side run one side and then kept on walking because it was just a beautiful day. I took my mp3 player that made me groove on my way. Got to a diary that was about 40 minutes away from home (walk distance) and had a V (yes I know but it was my reward for going further away). Then I walked back. So by the time I got home again it was 11.45 and I looked at my steps and I had managed 9,565 steps and was happy about the steps as it was such a beautiful day.

Made a lovely chicken salad for lunch and then walked down to the coffee shop for my weekly coffee with my friends and it was fun. Then got the kids from school and walked home again. When I got home I looked at my steps and it said 13,771 but I over did it!! I wasn't feeling good and went up to bed and the boys watched cartoons and didn't want to get up.... think too much exercise today.. GO FIGURE...

Mum has gone to bingo and hubby has gone out with friends and I am here alone (well kids are in bed) but loving it because I am just relaxing and spending time for me.... I don't have to talk and I don't have to answer anyone and just watching tv and playing solitaire on my computer.. So basically a great end to a great day.

Love Chubbymum

Day Nine - Leenie Challenge

Was tempted tempted tempted today and I caved but only a tiny bit. A homemade sausage roll (little one) only because they smelled sooo sooo good. Work had another shout today for my friend who is leaving work and I was sitting there for about 10 minutes and it was too much for me. Normally I just walk out or don't go in the tea room at all because of work shouts.... and grrr this time I forgot my morning tea and afternoon tea at home because I was going on a work lunch (sushi)... OMG am I rambling on or what.

I felt bad but I worked my butt off at kickboxing tonight to make up for it and I wasn't going to go to kickboxing but said to myself... you cheat you get punished.

I really want to get to the 115.6.... I really really do and I think that my monthly is coming this week because I have been soooo up and down in my moods and happy one minute sad the next and really really snappy the next.

I have noticed since losing the weight that my monthly is so so so different and I get it more often. I used to be a 38 day cycle (OMG I loved that) and now I am a 28 day cycle and my moods are really bad. I never had a mood when I was bigger and I never snapped or felt this low... such a weird thing. I know what I am like it but it still doesn't make it any better.

Exercise this week has been:

Monday - Weights

Tuesday - Rest

Wednesday - Kickboxing

Thursday - Long Walk

Friday - Step Class

Saturday - Weights

Sunday - Cardio and Weights

I am mixing it up and not doing the same thing every week... hopefull it will work out and also keep me going as I was getting bored for some time there.

I miss my trainer at the gym... and the lady that did my program is leaving so she doesn't care. So I have gone online to Body for Life and I am going to do their weight program for a while and see how it works. It is a great time to try something new because what I have been doing isn't working so hey why not.

Work was ok today... can't say I am there because I love it but it is flexible and the work is a no brainer at the moment while the kids are small.

Took Corbin to soccer practice today (last one woohoo) and I was watching them play a game and this boy came up to me (I would say he was about 9) and he said "can you tell me what the boy with the red hair's name is please?" and I said "His name is Corbin" he said "I saw him play at the start of the year and I thought he was good but Wow has he improved and he is a great player" Wow I was stunned that a young boy would come and say that. It was a nice thing to say... and of course I said to the boy "he is my son" woohoooooo proud mummy moment.

Corbin loves being chaser (in the middle getting it off the kids) he doesn't like being striker but the coach made him practice striker today and he got two goals and was good at it but he hated it. Afterwards the coach said that he has been committed this year and has played really really well and he could tell that he has been practicing in the weekends too. Proud mummy moment TWO he he he. Said that he was one of the few in the team that was committed and came to every practice and every game and was a pleasure. That was a really nice thing to say.

I must say I am enjoying being a soccer mum. I am enjoying watching the game and understanding it and I am enjoying watching my boys enjoying playing. It is great....

I am a little sore from kickboxing tonight as her routine has changed a little... and I tried more than usual and I was running and doing high knees etc... I am proud of it tonight.

Day Eight - Leenie Challenge

I have been in a horrible mood today.

I think I might be getting my monthly early..

I haven't been in a mood to anyone and seemed normal to everyone just felt fat and bloated and felt like the 1.7 I had lost this week I hadn't lost.

I stuck to it last week and this week I am sliding. Not that I want to but my mind keeps saying ohhh you deserve it you can have this and this.

Well this afternoon the Director told someone to tell me that she needed me urgently in the tea room. I thought to myself what the hell does she want (she is not my boss I just reside in an office there) and when I went in the tea room they had done an afternoon tea for me and Sherryl for our birthdays.

No it isn't my birthday but it will be at the start of September and Sherryl leaves tomorrow so she wanted to make sure that the monthly birthday shout was given so they had a cake and candles and we had to blow them out. The tradition is that the birthday people for that month have to blow out the candles before anyone can have the afternoon tea he he he. So I was a little naughty and I had a little piece of cake (now the size was the size of two fingers) as there are 38 women and 1 cake. But there were chips and dips and grapes and cheese and biscuits.... but it would have been rude not to have any of the cake.

I want to get this weight off and I want to do this challenge and I need to keep my head space right because I know I can do this. I think the thing I have not sorted in my head that because I managed to do 1.7 last week certainly doesn't mean I can do it again. Even though I want to do that again but my history tells me otherwise and I think that bothers me.

Ok Leenie... I know I know I am getting intense again aye... but I suppose if I don't talk about it on here then I am going to keep it in my head so better I get intense he he he.

I have kept within my points again woohooo.

Went to the gym tonight and I was a little pissed. Jeremy got his program and it was all graphed to show him how to do all the exercises and it was clear and concise and the trainer went through it with him...

Well my trainer asked me a lot of question (spent an amazing amount of 10 minutes with me ) yes I am being scarcastic and then my program was like done for a new comer. OMG woman I know I haven't had you for a trainer but OMG I have been here 2 years and done triathlons, boot camps, tough guy/gal challenge and numerous challenges with the lean team and the program were 2 sets of 10 on this and that and OMG I have been doing 3 sets of 15 for most of my weights and weight set higher etc... so what a waste of Fkn time I tell you.

I was pissed and hubby said "just do your program" FK OFF is what I wanted to say while there were 20 people at the gym. I got so mad because he was being condesending that I walke out of the main gym downstairs to the womans gym to get away from him and did the circuit (like a curves workout) downstairs and then sat in the sauna for a while as if I didn't I would want to punch my husband (and that wouldn't be good now would it).

I did have a compliment today though from a mum that used to have her child at my work 2 years ago and she was in the Directors office and I went in and she said "OMG what the hell happened to you?" I stopped thinking OMG (and looking at my top for a stain) what are you talking about and then she said "You look fantastic" so I was walking about 3 feet taller than before he he he he... then she went on and on about how great I look... didn't think I had changed that much...

So even though I am in a miserable mood I have made sure that I have done my exercise and tracked my food today.

I must admit I have to choose more wisely from now on because I could end up going the wrong way.

Anyway going now.. think I might get another early night as I went to bed at 8pm last night and still felt like I didn't have enough.

Chubbymum

Day Seven - Leenie Challenge

I have posted every day since this Leenie Challenge.

Feel the fire back that is for sure.

So today is officially the first weigh in for Leenie Challenge and here we go.....

Weigh in day at home today:

LOST: 1.7 kilos wohooooo

Current weight: 119.9 kgs

Total loss from WW: 34.8 kgs

Total loss from start: 40.1

..............................................................

Leenie Challenge: 115.6 kgs

Started: 13 August 2007

End Date: 1 October 2007

To lose 6 kilos in 7 weeks

Start Weight: 121.6 kgs

Current Weight: 119.9 kgs

How much to go: 4.3

So I am pretty impressed with that loss this week and I haven't changed much in the food but to track and to keep to my 22 points and I did that.

I did make sure that I went to the gym and I made a rule with myself that I didn't have to do an hour I could do a half an hour but I had to make it count and it did I reckon because I get there and think OMG I have to do an hour and then don't want to go because doing it by myself isn't the same as when I was doing it with Lean group.

Anyway so this week I went 4 times and I also went for a long walk... so that is 5 times this week.

I ran on the treadmill on Saturday too and it was great I really really enjoyed it.

I don't think I am going to be able to keep up the loss I had this week but it has given me a boost. But if I can aim for 700 grams a week I am going to be sweet.

So thanks Leenie once again for the boost... it is nice to aim for something again.

Chubbymum

Day Six - L Challenge

Didn't want to get out of bed today... arghhhh but the weather was fantastic.

Went shopping for my friends birthday present today.. Went to Freedom Furniture and got these lovely perfume bottles. One had a cord thingy on it and you can pump the perfume on you and the other one was a little one to match that had a little class stick from it (they were both crystal) I so wanted it myself he he he so I put it on my birthday list.. hmmm we shall see don't think the hubby heard he he he.

Got back and phoned Tania to say Happy Birthday so I could come over and give her present... and she snapped at me on the phone... I was a little annoyed and got off the phone saying to J that I was sort of pissed off... but hey it is her birthday and I suppose I will let it be since it is her birthday (she phoned later that night and apologised for her abruptness as they were late for a lunch date with her family and her grandmother was late) I can understand her being upset but I felt horrible for most of the day thinking OMG.... oh well.

Came back and made lunch and took the boys on a bike ride to have a picnic. We went for a 8km bike ride and OMG it is getting harder because the boys are getting faster.

BUTTTTT.... half way around I fell off my bike when I tried to stop (I had the lunch in the basket at the front with drinks and all) and right in front of a lot of bloody traffic and I couldn't stop shaking, scraped my ankles and I think I twisted my upper thigh so now when I try to move one leg apart from the other I am in pain... oh well... think I pulled a muscle.

When we got back I took the present over to Tania's but she wasn't there so I left it with the neighbour (who is a good friend of hers)

Tania phoned later on to say she was sorry for being short with me on the phone this morning.

Hubby mowed the lawns and kids and I vacuumed our bedroom upstairs and dusted and then upstairs was done woohooo.

Was a pretty nice Sunday (apart from falling over and being sore now).

Tomorrow is weigh day.. I am a little scared because yesterday was a great result but I know from experience that the scales LIE LIE and so tomorrow it might prove me wrong he he he.

Day Five - L Challenge

Stayed up late last night watching Notting Hill... OHHHH so romantic and funny it put me in a better mood. Before starting to watch it I finished that last Harry Potter Book OMG it was exciting... there was so much information in it that I have to read it again I am sure of that.

I read for 3 solid hours and it felt like 1 hour it was sooooo soooo enthralling. I just loved the last chapter it was nice but there is a feeling that she can expand on it if she ever wants to and I sooo hope she does. Wow imagine it.. being that talented to write stories and people get caught up in it.

Did I mention that my hubby writes? he he he this is his blog please visit and leave messages I think it would encourage him. He is sooooo talented and I would like to encourage him to keep going with it.

Well as usual it is soccer day and it is pooring down with rain arghhhhhhh. Quinn told his Dad that he wanted me at the game (I am a bit of a shouter on the sidelines he he he) and Quinn likes to know that someone is supporting him I think and he looks over soooo much and his game improves like you wouldn't believe. Anyway they won today it was a great game and Quinn looked like he was playing Rugby and not Soccer by the end of it he he he.

The coach said he was really proud of him in the last two games it is like he has a fire under him. For the last two weeks I kept on saying to him...."this is your teams ball not the other teams ball take it do not let them have your teams ball" and I think now he realises that he can take the ball and he doesn't have to let them keep it... sooo great.

Corbin's team won too (Jeremy went went him) and after last weeks game they are top equal with another team and they won this week so we are hoping that the other top team will lose this week or draw so that we can we the championship OMG I hope so.

So after that the boys came back and had a bath and Jeremy had an appointment with the gym to do another program and so I went too... I only wanted to do 1/2 and hour but ended up doing 45 minutes. I went on the treadmill for 15 minutes and after 10 minutes I decided that every second minute I would run for a minute walk for a minute it was great.

My scales are looking fantastic and I think that is because I am doing the gym and swapping the cardio and the weights and it is making a huge difference.

I have thought a lot this week about doing the colon cleanse thing but I don't want to... I want to change my lifestyle and work out things that my body needs to do this and not for a quick fix to get the weight off. I know it is has been fantastic for Lyn and that she has learnt a lot from it and has changed the way she thinks about it but for me it is too restrictive and in the past being too strict has made me go the opposite way. But good on Lyn for doing it.

I have proved to myself this week (THANKS Leenie) that I can do this but had to work out a different way than I have been doing. Now this week I haven't been strict on my food but been pointing my food and staying within them but I have had naughty things too and it has been working. I am loving my scales this week and I can't wait till Monday to say what is happening but weekends are when I fall so I shall have to see how things are going.

Anyway I am back on later as it is only 1.30.

Chubbymum

Day Four - L Challenge

So I went in to have my gym program done today and I asked for her to concentrate on my arms and legs and tummy because the cardio is sorted... I know what to do with the treadmill, cross trainer, bike and cross training and my walking so I really needed to have a program to sort out the muscles.

I have noticed that since doing weights I am losing hmmmm how could that be I wonder?

This morning was beautiful and the sun was shining and I took the boys to school (didn't walk ho hum because I had to be at the gym right away) and then when I got out of the gym it was grey and raining OMG where did the beautiful day go?

Got home and put clothes away and had a shower and read some of my Harry Potter book and since then I have moped around. Feeling a little down today and feeling lonely.

I feel like my life is centered around work, kids, email, blogs and that is it... I am sad that my friendship with Kris finished and only because I used to talk to her when feeling like this. I certainly don't want to go back to that but miss the friendship (or whatever it was). To go out shopping or to go to the gym together and it didn't seem like such a bad thing because I had someone doing the same thing and talking and it went faster.

I don't want to feel bad... but my day is a little bit of a sad one.

Will update later.

Chubbymum

Day Three - LC Challenge

It felt like a lazy day but really it hasn't been.

Woke up this morning and it was blowing outside like it was going to rain but it didn't start when I was trying to take the kids to school so I got my tracksuit and sweatshirt and sneakers on and walked the kids to school and decided to go for a walk when they were at school...

Got to school and one of the mums said "are you going for a walk" I said yes and she said can I join you so we went on a walk and it didn't feel like we went very far but I had done 8,402 steps by 10.30 wohoooo and then we went for a coffee (well I had a frappe with water and no cream woohooo) and chatted for a while and then I walked home.

Took mum out shopping and went to get 6 light sabor's (star wars) for Corbin's birthday party and also got a lot of things for Quinn's birthday for his desk (that mum is buying him for his birthday). Quinn is a lot like me and is a stationery aholic he he he so I got pens and stapler, pads, colour paper, stickers and a diary etc there is heaps and heaps of things for him... it was great to get most of the birthday stuff all done.

Came back and had lunch then I was off again for my weekly coffee with some of the school mums OMG 2 times in one day going to a coffee shop. I had a english breakfast tea, but didn't drink it as I wasn't in the mood really and brought it because I thought i had to sit there with something.

And now I am home and my steps so far are....9,653 and I am happy with that as my average is usually 7,000 so that is all good for me today.

Got a gym appointment tomorrow morning for my new program so I am looking forward to that and Jeremy has his appointment at 12 on Saturday so we are going to be motivated and on to it woohooo.

So tonight is a relax and design Corbin's birthday party invites arghhhhh.

Might update later.
Feeling great today

The rest of the day was just cooking dinner for the family and then playing Jenga with Corbin and now wanting people to update on their blogs as I am bored bored bored... argghhhhhh wanting to read some positive things and wanting to have something to read and and and and OMG am I babbling or what??

P.S I am glad that ChrisH has updated because I have been worried about her all day. I phoned her place this avo to find out if everything was ok and her son said she was out and things were ok... can relax now.

Chubbymum

Day Two LC - Rachel... I'm updating now he he

Ok Rachel... I am updating now.

I sat here this morning thinking what am I going to say on here today. I have to get back in the swing of blogging and not hiding what I am feeling.

Haven't gone quiet because I am doing bad or anything..

Just gone quiet because.... what do I write.

So anyway

Went to the gym last night and felt good about it. We only did 40 minutes but have decided that any gym session is better than none.

When I was 160 kilos I didn't want to go anywhere as I hated people seeing me and hated that they were looking at me... and last night while I was there I was reminded by a conversation I had with my trainer about a year ago that she said "you don't tug at your shirt as much anymore" I don't... and last night I did and I think that was the fact that I had to get back in the swing of things and realise that people aren't watching me and if they were too bad. I tugged at my shirt to make sure it was long enough as I hate my tummy sticking out.

So I have to get that feeling of not tugging back again and this challenge I think is going to be a great start.

So I did 15 minutes on the treadmill (3 incline and 5.6 speed) and I was happy with that. Then went and targeted my legs and did thighs, on three different machines (can't remember what they are called he he he) but felt quite wobbly when finished he he he and I also did the beach whale machine... OMG I feel like a beach whale when I am on this as you go on your tummy and lift your legs backwards (getting your gluts I think) but I hate it... getting on it is awkward and feeling like people are watching drives me insane but I know that is all in my head aye... and too bad on them.

Then we went and did some triceps and I upped my weights and OMG were they sore he he he and then did the cross trainer... so the 40 minutes was good and I was glad to be back on track with it again.

I did notice that not a lot of people I used to know is there anymore maybe they have given up.. not sure but it was sad as I quite like seeing some familiar faces. I did see two ladies there that were my size when I first started and kept thinking woohooooo you and wanted to go and tell them that but felt like it would be a bit pushy... might see them again one day and make eye contact. hmmmm

Jumped on those scales this morning and they said 121.1 kilos so since Monday I have gone from 121.6 to 121.1 so I am happy with that. I know that I shouldn't be getting on the scales that much as we weigh differently every day but right now it is keeping me on track and thinking about weight.

I am going to try my hardest to keep to this challenge.

I have been tracking but been doing it on a spreadsheet and not going to do it on here because I sometimes feel like I have to not put some things on here and so the full food isn't right and right now tracking my way is doing me so much better and I am tracking the exercise and allowing myself 2 points every day for extra if I exercise so I am trying my hardest.

I think back to what I was like 3 years ago... and how I made excuses for myself and I didn't want to do this weight loss and how it took me a year later to truly know that I had to do this for me... and that no matter what anyone said I couldn't do it because they wanted. I had to do it for me and that it had to be my decision and it wasn't going to happen until it was my decision and that is the hardest thing ever because I knew I was big and I knew I had to lose weight but I just couldn't.

When walking one day with my son in his pram and a car full of kids said 'oi you are fat lady lose some weight' I said to them 'I might be fat but you are ugly and at least I can lose the weight and be thin you will still be ugly' but it hurt... it hurt so much that I cried all the way back to the park where my husband was with my oldest son playing and I was in such a depression after that that things got worse for a month and then that was it...

I had to do this and I started off at home doing little things to get me losing weight and it was around Christmas and it was the first Christmas that I didn't over eat and I watched what I ate and did it all in moderation. I lost 5 kilos over that Xmas and I was proud of that achievement... I was reading Helena's blog and she kept me going for a month but I needed more help and decided to join Weight Watchers and realised that I wasn't the only one struggling.

Anyway... the rest of the story is history.

I just wrote this because a friend is struggling today (big hugs) and we had a conversation this morning and I know what it is like for her and I do understand but we can only help ourselves sometimes and I used every excuse under the sun but it wasn't helping me it was hindering me and we can only do it for us.... but we have to do it for us before it is too late. I just know I will be there to listen but I can't do it for her... she is the only one that can do that.

It is a struggle... losing weight and it will always be a struggle.. but it is worth it. I know it it is worth it I am doing more things with my family and friends that I would have ever imagined and I am going to be doing even more when I get the rest off... others have done it before me and I am sure that I am going to do it too.

Chubbymum

Oh... also this is an interesting writer called my HUBBY he he he if you want to read his writing blog I am proud of him.

Day one of Leenie Challenge

Ok so for shortcut reasons it is going to be called...

LC (Leenie Challenge)

Helena has put forward a challenge to me and OMG it has got my juices going he he he (this sounds rude but it isn't he he he)

I have a problem with goals and they have to really make me feel like OMG and I haven't found one is such a long time.

I was talking with hubby last night and usually if I make a goal for myself it is like get to 30 kilos and get my nails done (but that never happened until 6 months afterwards) or get to 20 kilos and have a new hair cut etc but IT NEVER HAPPENS and it never happens because I find something else the money has to go to or I just think I shouldn't be spending this on me when the boys need this or that. So they just don't work.... and I know that is my fault because I should allocate it and stick to it but I just don't.

The challenges that have worked for me are the ones like when Tania said to me when I first started (oops not the Tania who has a blog) that I could not lose 20 kilos in a year and not to push myself for defeat and OMG I thought no way are you going to tell me that I can't and I said that to her and in 10 months I did it!!

I lost 20 kilos but then I fizzelled after that because the challenge was over and I did it. Then I wanted to be 25 kilos by the time my brother in law came back from over seas so that he noticed the difference and so I did that and that was all in 2005. 2006 was just a year that I was all in for the exercise but the weight just didn't come off as I couldn't find a challenge I knew I could do and achieve (not thinking positive again)....

I could not seem to find a challenge that would get me going and something that was real and not like my husband saying "I bet you can't get 15 kilos off by Xmas" because that didn't work either as it wasn't geniune it was him trying to help me but I didn't take it like that....

I hope this is all making sense? I am a hard person with goals like that..

So anyway Helena's comment yesterday was:

Ok ... heres a deal, I will send you three items of designer clothing at the end of September if you get to 115kgs. Thats 6kgs in 8 weeks. You need to focus, you need to keep motivated and you need to believe in yourself. Get your sorry depressed arse off the couch and think about how fabulous you will look and feel in 7 weeks time. I believe in you, so you can believe in you too. Dont forget we have the same taste in clothes. When you are done with them, you can sell them on TradeMe and make a fortune to buy yourself some new clothes. Thats my challenge for ya. *smooch*

So she is right... My sorry depressed arse (sooo true and until she said it nicely to me like that I didn't realise how much I wanted to slap myself) I have my mum living with me that is so negative and can never see the positive that I think I just start thinking like her and I have to stop it and remember how my Dad was always positive.

I am sorry if I have been depressing lately just want to get out of this funk and doing good one week and bad the next is not what I want (not that anyone would want that he he).

So I emailed Helena and asked her if she was ok about this... I felt like this was wrong or something like that and that it has made me think wow I can do this and there is a carrot at the end of this. So I calculated the time and it is only 7 weeks but hey 6 kilos in 7 weeks will make it even more challenging.. I also told her that if I don't make it then I will buy her something pretty to go with her new body she is going to have by then.... so that way I will have to give this generous lady something if I wuss out and be a silly cow.

I have also been thinking about it some more this morning and thought that I would keep this tradition going on... that when I have finished with the clothes (he he he that I am going to get Helena he he) that I wouldn't sell them on trademe I would PASS it FORWARD and give it to someone else to get in to so that they have a challenge too...

So what do you think? So that we keep helping people that are in a funk (like me) and maybe the clothes will be an inspiration to someone else.. but anyway I have to get to 115 kilos before that will happen so the challenge is on.

So hopefully Helena you are still on for this because I sure am.

My weight yesterday was 121.6.

So by the 1 October I need to be 115.6 that is 6 kilos in 7 weeks.

OMG that is going to be soooo hard for me but I am going to do it. The most I lose in a week is 800 grams but hey it wouldn't be a challenge if it was easy aye.

So keep on me!!! I am going to do this.

Started off well today and I have been for a walk at morning tea (at work) and I am planning my meals for the day and I am planning my exercise for the week too and getting my new program done on Friday at the gym as I have booked in. This is good for me!!

THANK YOU LEENIE!!! This is a challenge that I needed!!! You are an angel.

Chubbymum

Tracking Day One - Week One

Updating..

Why have I sunk in to not updating. I know people read my blog but then when I start not blogging I also know that I am not blogging because I am not doing well in the weight loss. I hopped on the scales yesterday and it was up to 121.6 kilos and that just sucks. I am angry at myself for letting this get out of hand. The day before the party in PN and since then I have not cared... I have not wanted to track and not cared but it has to change.

I have been trying to find something to get me motivated again and something that I can aim for. If anyone has any suggestions please tell me. I am not a materialistic person in the fact that I have everything I need so I can't work out what I can work towards.

I am even having trouble trying to tell my family what I want for my birthday as I don't want or need for anything at the moment... Plus only working part time I can't afford too much anyway so there is nothing monetary I can give myself.

I so want to be under 100 but I can't find that motivation to get there. I have lost 40 kilos since the heaviest of my weight (not weight watchers weight my doctors weight) and I have gotten to the stage that I feel like I have tried everything.

I want to be positive and find something to aim for....

Easter next year I am going to Waihi for a holiday with the kids. Maybe that can be something to aim for... Getting in togs and not feeling like a blimp? Going for a surf in the water like I did a year ago and enjoying myself no matter what. Or maybe go jet skiing in the water.. (I don't know how I can get one to be able to use but that could be something...) so if anyone has any ideas please please tell me.

So I have 31 weeks to go till our Easter holiday in Waihi!!!

If I aim at 500 grams a week I can get to 106.6 kilos by 20th March 2008.

Do you think that is too much of a hard job for me to do? keeping in mind that in the past year I have only lost 7 kilos because of all the indecisions and yoyoing?

Ok... so just losing this weight to go to Waihi isn't enough for me to look forward to... hmmm need to think... need to think... any suggestions would be great. I want to lose this weight and I have to have a goal..

When I had a goal to get under the 120's for PN I did it so maybe this is what I am lacking...

So I have to lose 15 kilos... I can do this right? Or am I setting myself up for failure... or am I just thinking that I can't and so it isn't?

So I have started off well.. I am tracking and I am thinking about what I am putting in my mouth. I haven't had any coffee today either or a V... I am going to try and make sure that I don't for this week...

Tracking and no coffee.. how hard can that be?


Breakfast
3 Weetbix
Milk

Morning Tea
Mandarin
Banana

Lunch
2 Sandwich Bread
Roast Pork
Mandarin
Nectarine

Afternoon Tea
Nectarine

Dinner
Chicken
Mushroom
Fetticine
(homemade)
Peas
Carrots

Got back on board!! I went to the gym and got a programme booked because I haven't had one in a while.

Went to the gym and I did:
Treadmill
Cross Trainer
Biceps
Triceps
Water Bike

Felt great!!
Felt great!!

Can anyone help me? I can't help myself!

I think I needed this week to realise what a silly bitch I am.

I have been a stupid bitch for the last two weeks and havent been interested AT ALL in weight loss!!! NOT at all... not wanting to read blogs, not wanting to blog... hating myself... bitchy with my family. NO EXERCISE WHAT SO EVER. and basically this is not good.

I do know I have to get myself out of it but then I don't want to either... so hard to work out what I am going to do.

I am starting off simple from tomorrow.

Stay within points. That is it!! That is the only thing I am going to concentrate on this week. I have gone over in to the 120's again and I don't want that anymore.

So I am going to track this week coming and that is it!

Chubbymum

Without effort and action, you will not succeed. You can't wish your weight away. You have to work at it and be prepared for those times when you slip, so you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on...

Losing weight demands preparation, effort and commitment to come to fruition

Bloated

So with the gain this week I am determined to do well this week coming. Feeling like the photo above... lots and lots of rolls he he he.

I am feeling really bloated and have had heartburn since the weekend. Feeling like a blob and terrible so I have to sort out myself this week it isn't good... I am not feeling good about it at all and unhappy and as you can tell less blogging as well.

Today was full on with doing the spelling in Quinn's class and taking my mum out to pay her bills and do some shopping as she hasn't been out of the house in a week (oh dear).

Kris sent a text today to ask if I wanted to go for lunch and to be honest I didn't feel like sitting there listening to her life. I know that sounds terrible but since not having her around I have not felt like my weight loss was going wrong. I have been happy with my weight loss even though it hasn't been a huge huge loss I have been consistant and happy and not down on myself in the last couple of weeks.

Anyway so since I go to avo tea with some friends I decided that I wouldn't go to lunch with her but she could come to avo tea with us. I didn't tell her that we do it every week though because I don't want her to come every week.

Then picked up the boys and organised for them to have friends over tomorrow arghhhh 4 kids under 8 arghhhhh tomorrow.. what to do, what to do he he.

It doesn't seem like I have done a lot but it was full on and I haven't had time to sit.

Tomorrow morning I am back to the gym because I have been slacking on the Friday gym for a while and I sooooo want to get back in to it as I am slacking with my exercise this year. With all the crap last year I can't seem to get back in to it and don't wanna... I miss my group! I miss people that I feel comfortable with and people that I can do exercise with and not feel like they are judging me. None of them are going anymore after all that happened which is really sad but hey...

I really enjoyed this weekend so much that it has made me quite sad this week because I haven't got those great ladies close... 5 hours away, 8 hours away 2 hours away and no-one around here... no one that understands, no one to go to the gym with or for walks with and it is depressing for me. I know I have the blogs and I have emails I do realise that... but I don't have people that understand what it is like. The friends I have don't have weight problems like I do and don't realise how hard it is to loose 88 kilos... finding it really hard.

Chris H's Party 3 August 2007

Where to start....

The weekend was fabulous and it was also great to get away with hubby without the kids. We took the boys to school on Friday morning and then left for Palmerston North.... what a beautiful day to travel.

Decided that we would get lunch in Taupo so we stopped and went to the loo and then looked at the CD store down there and brought the Colbie Caillat CD and a CD for hubby and OMG Colbie is sooo great I love the CD.

Went to Woolworths and decided to be good and get stuff to make a salad sandwich and brought a little loaf of bread and had homemade sandwiches by Lake Taupo in the sun and it was nice.

We had chicken, lettuce, tomatoe, avocado it was soooo nice and decided that I would txt Lee-ane and Lyn to see where they were and they were in Taupo too so we kept texting to say where we were and then stopped at the top of the desert road to go to the toilet and the two must have gotten in front of us because when we got a bit further I said to hubby that I think they are two cars in front of us.... so we txt them and they started waving out the windows it was too funny because the guy in the car behind them must have thought they were nuts he he he. We all stopped for a coffee and a chat and it was really great to stop for a break and catch up with these wonderful ladies that is for sure.

Chubbymum, Lee-Anne and Lyn just after stopping for a coffee.

Got to Palmerston North about 4.30 and met up at Chris H place so we could drop off food for the party on Saturday night and then Hubby and I went to the Motel to put our things there and then went and met up with some work mates of his it was nice to meet them.

For dinner we got Indian and took it back to the Motel and OMG it was wayyy wayyy too much food and didn't realise that I cannot eat that much anymore. We got two different dishes with rice and so I only had two small bowls of food but I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach he he he so the night sleep wasn't good at all and I vowed never never never to do that again...

Saturday morning we got up and had a shower and then went in to town to see what we could get for breakfast... it was great to spend time with each other it is such a rare thing that when we get the chance it is fantastic. We went to Robert Harris and had a cooked breakfast and coffee and sat and chatted for about 2 hours and then decided it was time to check out the shops and see what we could see for the boys birthdays but we couldn't find much... so headed on back to the motel to get changed for the party..

I was soooo nervous about meeting everyone again and I think that was because they are such a wonderful bunch and I wanted maybe to measure up ya know....

Above Chris taking a photo of my hubby taking a photo he he he

Lee-anne sitting there waiting for everyone to arrive...
I reckon we were all nervous at this time he he he.

Lyn looking nervous too in her beautiful new top...

Janene and her daughter Jorja (hope I have spelt it right he he)

Felicity making a lovely platter of fresh fruit yummmy

We got on soooo well and everything went so fast and I drank way way way too much but half way decided to slow down and then start drinking again about an hour later.

Down the front Left to right: Rachel, Lee-Anne, ChrisD, ChubbyDad

The back from Left to right: Lyn (behind her Helena) by Helena is Felicity, ChrisH, Janene, Lynise behind her and at the end Chubbymum (with hand on ChubbyDad)

Above silly photo of us all he he he

Lyn (once again he he he) had an idea for everyone to put on these silly glasses and see what we looked like OMG we didn't stop laughing at how everyone looked.

Lyn below

Chubbymum belowLee-Anne below

ChrisH belowFelicity below

ChubbyDad belowHelena below

Rachel below

Janene below

Lynise below

The Christmas presents were sooo funny because we could go and choose a present but then if we liked what someone else had we could swap and so I felt really bad (afterwards) that I swapped with Helena as I didn't really want a box with $5 in it he he he I wanted a present he he he but as you can see below Helena wasn't happy he he he he...

It wasn't long before Lynise decided she didn't want her and so she took the present that I took off her and so I started them all off... he he he he and there were a couple of swaps it was sooo funny so thanks Janene for suggesting to Chris to do it that way it was great.

It was a interesting night and we didn't stop laughing and drinking and eating and being merry and the conversation was never EVER dull and it was always going it was great. I had a couple of great chats outside with Lyn and really enjoyed getting to know her a little more. I really enjoyed getting to know everyone more and it was fantastic and they are a really great bunch of girls.

I made two bottles with everyones face on it and christmas hats on their heads

Lyn came up with the idea of going through everyone and people saying whether you thought they were the same in person as they were on their blog and some interesting things came up on that... apparently I am quite intense on my blog he he he and in person I am not I am bubbly so that is quite interesting..

I always thought that what I was writing was exactly how I sound and how I talk to people. Hubby and I were discussing it on the way home on Sunday as I couldn't quite get how I was different but I suppose when you read someone it is how you are reading it and not how they are thinking it sounds or something like that.... so when I started this I was wondering how I actually wrote and was it how I come across... quite an interesting thing I thought.

It was also good to see that Janene got a couple of drinks in her and actually talked it was nice to talk to her and she just loves dancing and got everyone up dancing it was great to get some exercise in he he he instead of sitting eating and talking he he he...

Got up the next morning feeling a little ikky but I think that was the food more than the drinking and met Helena, Rachel and Felicity at Ezibuy to have a coffee and breakfast and it was great looking at clothes with people that understood how hard it is to find clothes that look great on bigger people but it was also great to go shopping and to help others when they didn't know whether the colour was right either... I am going to miss these girls and without their blogs it would be even harder.

I am soooo glad we are all friends and go on so well.

But I will leave the girls with this... I wonder how Lynise's night went he he he he she got that phone call and she was off like a shot he he he... hmmmm juicy news come on Lynise tell all he he he.

Love Chubbymum

Weigh in - 8 August 2007

Weigh in day at home today:

Gained: 600g
Current weight: 120.5 kgs

Total loss from WW: 34.2 kgs
Total loss from start: 39.5
..............................................................

Small challenge: 115 kgs

Started: 1 August 2007
Start Weight: 119.9 kgs
Current Weight: 120.5 kgs

How much to go: 5.5

I am not too unhappy about the gain because I had a great weekend and only gaining 600 grams was ok. I am glad that I didn't gain all the weight I lost the previous week but now I have to get my A in to G and get back into the teens as I have only had a week at it and I don't want to go back here in the 20's again... it is going to happen!!! It is....

Sick Sick Sick

Was going to do an update on Sunday but with all the driving etc and I didn't feel well all the way home I didn't.

Yesterday (Monday) went to work at 7.30 and by 8.30 I emailed my boss and said I was sick and going home... I wasn't feeling very well at all yesterday went home took the kids to school and then I got in bed at 9am and woke up at 3.30 (hubby got the kids for me). Wow if any of you know me at all you will know that I do not like wasting the day away sleeping so I was reallllly not well. Had a sore throat, ear infection and my ulcer had flared up (I think it flared up because of the alcohol in the weekend grrr he he he).

I will update tonight with pictures (Helena I haven't forgotten your string pictures will send them they turned out really well) on the weekend.

I had a fantastic time and enjoyed every moment of it and I just love those ladies they are all wonderful.

Anyway better get some work done.

Chubbymum

Proud

I wore my jeans and a top today and it felt so great. I know I have only lost 800 grams but I think I have gone down in centimetres because I feel my tummy is a little flatter (I know I am still a big woman) but compaired to always looking pregnant my bottom tummy isn't as big and looking in the mirror it feels flatter.

I feel fantastic and I cannot wait till this weekend catching up on everyone... sooo nervous but I also know how wonderful these ladies are and after reading their posts every night I know that they are great down to earth ladies... it is going to be fun.

I wish we all lived closer it would be great to have a walking group with them all or going to the gym etc.

I have been a little slack on everything in the last month.... since working so much on Papaya has made me feel a little like OMG I don't want to do anything for a while and have a break and just do some fun things so I have been doing some digital scrapbooking stuff and spending time with hubby having romantic baths and going for walks etc it has been great.

I have a question do any of you have a quiet hubby (or other half) my husband sometimes is sooo much an introvert it is hard having conversations with him. I know he has been like that since before I met him but sometimes I don't know how his day went or what he thinks and I know when I ask him he says day went ok... but he doesn't elaborate... is that like that for every man? I know they don't like talking as much as woman but sometimes it drives me insane. He sent me an email today that his workmates and him are doing... They are organising a DVD and Pizza night next week and sent me the email today (which btw went out to the other workmates last week) and he is only just asking me now and said he forgot) but OMG he is the one that is organising it so why didn't he tell me about it when I asked him about his day... I mean I ask every day how his day went and what did he do (just so that we communicate) and he doesn't say much...

I suppose I am getting too worried about it because he isn't a person that talks too much to anyone even his brother or his friends but sometimes I wish we could talk and talk and talk to each other.

I mean we spend all our spare time with each other apart from work committments etc and enjoy each others company just sometimes I wonder why he doesn't talk.

So that is my wonderful of the day.

So what have I done today to make me feel proud: I spent time in Quinns class checking their spelling and enjoyed knowing that Quinn is just as great as all the kids there and that he is such a cool kid and not as annoying as others he he he so I am proud of my younges son today.

Twenties AWAY with you!!

As you can imagine I am in such a good mood. I lost only 800 grams but that is sooooo cool because no longer am I in those dreaded 120's... I am in the teens and I have to make sure that it stays that way woohooooo.

Yay yayyyy me

But on another note... I started at 160 kilos so I have actually lost 40.1 kilos from my highest weight but from the WW weight I have lost 34.8 kilos but that is ok... because deep down I know where I have come from and I know where I am headed...

Now I have 4.9 kilos to get to the weight my hubby was before we started this journey and then I have 10 kilos to get to where he is now... so that is my next target... GO ME!!!

Weigh in day at home today:

Lost: 800g

Current weight: 119.9 kgs

Total loss: 34.8 kgs

Small challenge: 115 kgs

Started: 1 August 2007

Start Weight: 119.9 kgs

How much to go: 4.9

Chubbymum