Saturday, 30 September 2006

Bloggers Lunch

Hey guys..

Soooo busy but had to upload some photos.

Had suchhhhhhhhhhhhhh a FABULOUS time with the blogging ladies... We laughed and we told the kids off he he he and we ate and we ate and we ate and I just love every single one of these ladies. It was great to meet Rachel, Sue and Anne for the first time... OMG it is sooo funny that people look different online than they do in person. Taller he he he but every single one of them I would have to stay at home. It was a strange feeling and I must admit that I was soooo nervous and had a little bit of a tummy bug before going there as I was so nervous. But once there it was like I had known them for a long time.

So here are some photos for everyone to see.

Thank you Karen for organising this wonderful event and I still can't believe that it has been a year and 5 months since we have seen each other.

Here is our smiley Helena... isn't she just adorable. You are still my inspiration girl!! You are so funny and have such a zest for life.
I love the way she has such an expressionist face.

We have Helena and in the middle Sue what an amazing woman and so elegant in the way she carry's herself I find her an inspiration.
Down the end Jo (with her daughter Rhinan?? sorry Jo if the spelling is wrong). Jo girl!! You have some fun with life hun and can't wait for the little thing we were talking about on Sunday to start up he he he.

Don't these young ladies look so much alike :-)
This is Janene and Jorja from Palmerston North. It was great meeting you both and can't wait till we are all together again... maybe next time we should do a day thing and then do some shopping and dinner and dancing woohooo.

Karen in the green was marvellous in organising this wonderful lunch... what a gem she is! I have so much time for you hun you are the sweetest. Beside Karen was Anne from Palmerston North.. it was so great that you drove all this way with Janene for our special event and it was fab to meet you.

Now look at these adorable ladies.. We have Rachel who is taking the photo. How funny is this woman... and how easy to talk to she is. I just think you are fab girl!!! Thanks for the ride in the cadbury car.. OMG it looks soooo yummy and I felt like I could eat it he he he. Jo that face girl!!! and you weren't even drinking!! You have a wonderful sense of humour and I just love the way you are so free and you have a zest for life.

Anyway better go and have lunch and get ready for going skating with Helena... woohooo Helena woohoooo.

Love ya all

Tuesday, 26 September 2006

A loss.... A loss...... A loss.....

OMG this week I lost 1.2 kilos OMG OMG OMG

I have now lost 29.1 kilos and I have 900 grams to get to my 30 kilos! Woohooo for me.

I am feeling so much better tonight as I have lots of drugs from the doctor last night. I have tonsilitis and I lost my voice for a while there and the flu... so basically feeling much better after the antibiotics and pain killers.

I have been thinking about my life lately and I have a little notebook in my purse that I have been writing things down in about what I want to achieve and out of this list I have been making progress on 2 of them. First one is learning the guitar... I have started learning... slowly but still learning. Second one is that I want to be a Life Coach and so I sent away for information on a life coaching course and I am seriously thinking about studying it... Not till the new year though because the rest of the year is booked with so much that I want to make sure I am putting my full attention in to it.

So that is three things for this year from now:

1. Keep losing weight - (Reach 35 kilos by February 2007)
2. Learn the guitar
3. Study to be a Life Coach

3 nights until I am in Wellington Wohooo

Anyway still need some sleep to totally get over this flu.

Love CM

Saturday, 23 September 2006

Got the Flu

Thank you everyone for all your comments!!! I really appreciate them.

Sorry!! Sorry!!! I haven't replied this week to your blogs I am still not feeling well and after Quinn's party today I went to bed and just jumped on here for 5 minutes and I am going back to bed. I have the flu and I WANT IT AWAY by next weekend that is for sure.

Love ya all

Friday, 22 September 2006

Cough Cough Cough Coughing....

I can't stop coughing today... it is driving me insane

Went to my personal training today with Crusher and I totally enjoyed it! When I got there I wanted to get the weigh in over and done with so I could get on with the training. Since I have been told my weight each week I am feeling better because I can now judge how I am doing and in two weeks I have lost each week. I am sooo happy that I am losing and I am not losing a lot but I am being consistant and that is the main thing!

I lost 400grams this week and I am so happy with that. I would have liked to loose more but I lost and I am being consistant in what I am losing. I walked 4 three big walks this week. My measurements have gone down too and even though I have a cold I am feeling so much more energetic than a couple of months ago.

My mother in law gave me a huge compliment last night too and said I was looking like a skinny mini and I think that is only because she saw my photo of the difference from January 2005 to September 2006.

I have been trying harder with my exercise in the last week too and I think that is because my work mate Debbie is now in my MM8 (LEAN) group and I have finally got someone that I feel is at the same level as me and I can push myself a little more. Before I think I was too far behind all the others that I felt like I would never be able to catch up but now there is a little bit of competition but no competition if that makes sense as I don't usually go too well with competition but this is like a good competition as it is making me feel like I am pushing myself.

So after the gym I got showered and dressed and went to lunch with hubby and then Corbin and I went shopping to Whitcoulls and got him a haircut and we sat in a coffee shop and Corbin read his book and I read my book it was great to just relax and read with a coffee.

I have to organise Quinn's birthday party food tonight for tomorrow.. it is going to be fun... we are going to the YMCA and they have gym equipment that the kids can play on and there is 14 children OMG 14 children...

What a day I didn't get home till about a half an hour ago and I am buggered. I think I might go upstairs and have a soaking bath hmmmm

Love ya all


Tuesday, 19 September 2006


Been a bit of a frantic week and haven't had the time to update.

Been trying to be sooo good with food this week and I managed to loose 500 grams and I am happy with that.. it is my goal to loose 500 grams a week so I managed my goal.

Quinn's birthday party is on Saturday and I will be happy when it is over with and all the birthday parties are done.

Been really pushing myself with the exercise lately as I want to get better but having problems with my left foot and left knee and can't work out why especially when it is my right knee that has always given me the problem.

Only a week and a half and I will be on holiday and I CANNOT Wait that is for sure.

But guess what I won something yesterday: From Weight Watchers wohoooooo I have never ever won anything like this before... and they are going to courier it this week. It is called The Ultimate Pamper Pack and is valued at over $90 and includes a stylish cosmetic bag and case, luxurious satin robe, exfoliating glove, satin headband and a relaxing eyemask... woohoo for me!!!

In the past week I have been on 4 walks... getting myself ready for our triathlon. Last Wednesday Kris and I went on a 4km walk and then on Saturday we went another walk with Kris which was a 7.5 km walk and then on Sunday I went with hubby on a 7.5 km walk and today with lean went on a 4km walk and I feel great for doing the walks that is for sure.

My mum is getting better but a little depressed still and so I am hoping that she picks up soon as I don't like seeing her like that.

I had two compliments from different people today asking if I have lost some more weight and even though it has only been 400 grams I am feeling so good for it.

Anyway I need to get an early night... love ya all LOTS


Thursday, 14 September 2006

Full on again!!!

Had my MM8 gym course today with all the new people in the group and it has been refreshing. I am enjoying it. I am enjoying it because I have finally got someone that is at the same level as me and I am pushing myself even more. It feels good to push myself a bit more. I got a bit over the top and starting jogging today but I managed to hurt my other knee as I was not being that careful like I usually do. So I have to make sure I baby it for a while but I am NOT going to not keep trying because even though I did heaps in the class today I am so enjoying it.

I was a little weary about Sgt Major and I am not fully wanting him as my trainer but I really enjoyed him today... he actually smiled a little.. NOW that doesn't normally happen. It was nice to see the human side of him today. I hope he brings that along to the group more often. Anyway I thought of a great nick name for him today and it is Sargeant Major!!! he was certainly like that today.. so we have Crusher and Sargeant Major.

I have been reading the Phil Keoghans (N.O.W.... No Opportunity Wasted) book and I am enjoying it. It makes you think of all the things that you want to achieve and to basically get on with it and go for it. I have written a list of the things I want to do or change and I am going to go for it.

The first thing on my list is to learn to play the guitar and my friend from work has said she wants to learn to so we are both going to do it. The reason I want to do this is because I have had a guitar for like 5 years and I have never used it and Corbin said the other day why don't I know how to play and could he please learn how to. So I thought ok that would be great and so why don't I learn at the same time and stop procrastinating. So it is going to happen!!! I am going to do this.

I brought mum home from hospital yesterday and she is looking rather tired still and I think she is getting better but it is hard for her in the fact that she can't do much with her thumb wrapped up and in a sling.... it is sort of slowing her down (which is a hard thing to do) but it is making her soooo mad because she can't do anything.

We have Corbin's soccer team's prize giving tomorrow night so that is going to be a full on thing but I am looking forward to it. There is 31 people coming Wow!!! and I am organising it... quite worried that it won't turn out really as there are some reallyyyyyyy different people in the group and hmmm well we shall see.

Corbin has a birthday party on Saturday with a friend and I brought him some walky talkies... thought with summer coming up that he would enjoy that.

Then tomorrow night hubby and I are going to Debbie's birthday dinner it sounds like it is going to be a really good night. I also get to meet some of her friends so that will be good too. That reminds me I have to make sure I don't loose my head and forget to wish her happy birthday.

15 days and we are in Wellington WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I just can't wait. It is going to be such a full on week but it is going to be great to meet everyone and to also go sightseeing with the boys and roller skating with Helena and a baby shower and lunch with all of you guys.. soooo excited.

I still have to organise Quinn's birthday party for next weekend and then that will be both of the boys birthdays done for another year Wooohoooo as September is such a nightmare of a month for us that it will be done he he.

I have an hour with Crusher tomorrow and I can't wait SORT OF he he he just that a half an hour is good but what on earth can she do in a hour... LOTS I tell you!!! Pain is what I am going to feel he he he.

Must admit my week of food hasn't been that good... bit hard when I am going back and forth to the hospital but at least I got a lot of exercise as I parked like a mile away each time Woohooo for the exercise.

Food for the day:

Skim Milk

Morning Tea
Fruit Yoghurt


Cottage Cheese

Afternoon Tea

Beef Madras (homemade no sauces)

Love CM

Tuesday, 12 September 2006


Ok so the weekend was fantastic...

Can't say the last 2 days has been after that.

My mum was admitted to hosptial Monday.

Before I went away on the Friday I begged my mum to go to the doctors for her thumb that was sore.. she is afraid of doctors AFRAID AFRAID of doctors and so to get her in to check out her thumb is a nightmare. She said no she wasn't going to go as it was getting better. No it wasn't getting better it was getting worse. When I rang home in the weekend I asked her if she was ok and she kept saying yes her and the boys are good. Got home on Sunday night and her thumb was twice (maybe three) times the size. She kept saying it was better than it was.

By Monday I was worried and said to her that she has an appointment at the doctors at 5.00... so we got her there and the doctor said "you have to go to the hospital" Well..... my mother freaked out and got all upset and I didn't know what to do.... (the reason my mum doesn't like doctors is that my dad went to hospital with bronchitis and died of pneumonia so I can understand hospitals aren't her best friend). Got up to the hospital at 5.30 and we didn't get seen by a doctor till 7.30pm and then she had to go into the surgery to get the top of her thumb lanced (they said she was lucky she came in because if not she could have lost her thumb) The put 3 local needles in her thumb OMG I felt the pain myself as she was holding my hand with her other hand while they did it.

Because of the infection she had to be admitted in to hospital so she was there last night and all day today and they want her over night again. It looks a lot better but I am not convinced the doctors think that tomorrow would be the day she comes home.

I haven't had much sleep worrying about her up there as she doesn't like being in unfamiliar places. I know she is in the best place but I hate leaving her like that.

Anyway I am tired and so I am going to do some of my work (that hubby picked up for me) so that tomorrow isn't a total nightmare at work.

Good night everyone
Love CM

Sunday, 10 September 2006

Birthday Quad Bikes in Taupo

Wow What A Weekend it turned out to be!


Left home at 4.15 and got to Taupo at 6pm.. We went to the motel and it was lovely!!! Then hubby took me to a lovely Italian restaurant where there was a roaring fire and Italian music and the atmosphere was fantastic. I felt soooo relaxed and we had a great time that is for sure.



Kris and Tony met us at the restaurant and then we went to the wholesalers and got some alcohol and went back to the Motel to talk and have a couple of drinks.. it was sooo funny and we had a great time. It was relaxing to be able to talk with friends without telling kids to go to bed or stop shouting or don't do this and that. I really enjoyed the night. Thought I would put these too photos of what we looked like after our drinking he he he. Kris fell off the bed... she doesn't hold her drinks that well he he he he but we had a great time.



Didn't have a wonderful sleep at all because the bed was too soft but I was looking forward to sleeping in but my body just wouldn't let me do that.. it is accustomed to waking up early now with kids ho hum.

So it was soooo good to have my birthday... hubby ordered breakfast and I had breakfast in bed hmmmmmmm... After relaxing and had a lovely shower and sat in bed reading for a bit Kris and her hubby came down and into town we went. We did lots of shopping and hubby said I could buy a couple of things so I brought myself some cd's and I brought 3 new tops. It felt absolutly wonderful to get into some tops and not fear if I will or not... he he he poor Kris must of gotten sick of me saying Kris come and look at this top he he he.

We went to lunch at Breakers but I just couldn't eat it all. Had a chicken roll with salad but with hot chips and I had a couple then left the rest as it wasn't worth me feeling bloated all day for it.

Kris and Tony brought me the book I have been wanting for so long called Why French Women don't get fat... sooo cool.. just started reading it but I am enjoying it that is for sure.

Went back to the Motel to meet Delwyn and Heather and got spoilt once again. I didn't expect to get any presents because they were all coming down to go Quad biking with me. Delwyn brought me a white pasta bowl and plates that match my dinner set and they were beautiful. Heather brought me a book called "Eight Steps to Getting the most out of life Now (no opportunity wasted) by Phil Keoghan" and I can't wait to read that as well.

Crusher and her hubby Tony met us around 2pm and we all went together to the Quad bikes OMG OMG OMG OMG it was sooooo exciting apart from when we were getting talked to by the guide he kept on saying the practice track (which was looking rather scary behind us, but found out later it wasn't the practice track he was talking about)... it was the weirdest feeling getting on these bikes.. my heart raced and I felt like I wasn't in control when we were going down the practice track but I was happy because I was conquering my fears I was living a little on the edge and combating my fear of heights and situations where I have no control.



The tracks were muddy and most of them weren't any wider than the bike and there was water everywhere as it was pouring down with rain. I got stuck twice. Once was going up a hill and I didn't go fast enough so the guide had to get out and push me out of the mud he he he and then the next time I had to go around a corner and one wheel tipped and the bike stopped sideways OMG it was tooooo funny I was shitting myself he he he. We went on top of this huge mountain and it was really foggy but it was sooo high up my ears were popping. I didn't worry too much even though I have a HUGE fear of heights... I want to stop feeling scared like that.

We stopped at the top to have milo, coffee and biscuits and relax a little before going down again. Going down was scary as I kept slipping going down as the muddy was so squishy but it was exciting.





Got down to the bottom and found hubby stranded as his bike didn't want to start up so he jumped on the back and we rode about 10 minutes out of the bush... it was scary having someone on the back when you are going up a hill. I had to tell hubby to sit forward as it felt like the bike was going to go back... it was fantastic. During one part I went fast through some puddles and we bounced like trampolines he he he

Got back and I was pumping.... pumping... pumping.... it was the best birthday ever!!

Got back got showered and we all went out for dinner to a Korean/Japanese restaurant the food was amazing and realy fresh. It was a really great dinner we all laughed and ate and laughed and ate some more he he he.


After dinner we went to bed as we were all really tired and needed some sleep. Woke up this morning and had a spa bath and hubby painted my toe nails he he he.

Took a slow drive back today... we stopped at the Bee Hive shop and got some little treats for the kids and Delwyn, me and hubby wrote a postcard for each of the kids and stopped at Tirau to shop he he he and brought myself a new bag. OMG I am never usually allowed to buy this much ever as we really can't afford it but hey that is what a Visa is for he he he and had a lovely cuppa in a cafe and sat relaxed reading magazines. It was great to go have a coffee with a friend (hubby and Delwyn) and just be and read it was quite refreshing to just be and not talk talk talk. I think we were all just buggered.


Got home to a wonderful roast and Crusher came over to give me my food regime for the next week or so... it was simple and easy and not a day to day thing that was in too much detail which was fantastic.. I have three weeks to sort out my situation and get myself to this 30 kilos.

I had a fantastic weekend and don't wanna go to work tomorrow...

If I think of any more to tell I will update later.

Love ya all

Wednesday, 6 September 2006


I have been thinking a lot about food lately and how to change things for me.. I am bored with my routine. I had a wonderful offer (as I said before from Crusher) and so she came over tonight and we talked about food and she is going to go and work some things out for me with a little bit of things in it that I haven't had in a while so that I can have something that I like (all in moderation). I am looking forward to trying it that is for sure. I do need as much help as I can because I DO want to do this. I want to achieve this weight loss.

I had another offer from a wonderful person today (you know who you are) and I appreciate your offer and we will have to talk more. Thank you!

Tonight at the gym I wanted to work out how long it would take me to do the 12km on the bike for the triathalon and so I went on the bike to work out how long. I took me 31.49 minutes to do 12km. I was really proud of that but OMG my backside was sooo sore like you wouldn't believe. After that I did 150 situps with Delwyn and my tummy is feeling da pain he he he.

It is amazing how many wonderful people out there are willing to give their time for me and to help me loose this weight. I sit back and think why would these people do this.. what have I ever done for them to give up their free time to help me loose weight and get me to goal. They are saints is all I can come up with.... it is not like these people don't have their own lives and committments and they are going the extra mile to help me get there. I thank you all because I honestly don't know what I would do without your help... I appreciate it so much!!! and believe me I am trying hard to loose this weight.

Tried on a skirt this morning that I haven't worn since November last year when I brought it in Melbourne and I really like the detail down the bottom and I put it on and zipped it up and it fell off me he he he... I asked hubby to come and have a look and he couldn't stop laughing his head off. I showed Crusher tonight by wearing the skirt over my clothes and she couldn't believe it either. (as you can see below)

skirt 1


I really liked this skirt and I am going to see if a friend of mine will take it in for me.

So many things to organise before our weekend away and I also have to organise Corbin for his Soccer Tournament this Saturday (even though we aren't going to be there). One of the mums is going to pick him up and bring him home.

Well anyway I am buggered after the gym and I have to go to MM8 class in the morning so I better get my backside into bed.

Love ya all

Tuesday, 5 September 2006

Massive Motiva8

Woke up at 5.45 this morning to make it to the gym by 6am. OMG it is getting harder and harder to wake up that early for MM8 but I still want to do this.

Got in the door and everyone was heading outside.... why do I hate going outside so much? I think I hate it so much because when I am outside I feel more and more not part of the team. I feel that because I am slower than everyone in my group and I know they have to go at their own pace but I feel soooo slow when I am outside compaired to them.

So this is what we did today:
Walked to the rugby field and did:
  • Sprint from the Rugby building to the cricket pitch and do 20 pushups
  • Sprint back to the Rugby building and do 20 star jumps
  • Sprint to cricket pitch and do 20 pushups
  • Sprint back and then we walked back to the gym and outside we stomped (like spoilt children) to the end of the car park he he he it was sooo funny but exhausting.
  • Kickboxing knee jerks and then on the side walk to run up and down x 3
  • Bike for 10 minutes
  • 150 situps (yes you read it right)
  • 10 minutes on the spinning bike
OMG it was exhausting but afterwards I felt great.. I didn't want to be there when I got up but after doing the exercise I felt great for the rest of the day.

I am sort of looking forward to achieving my jog to the end of the road and back tonight but it scares me a little... I get so out of breath because I am only used to doing one light pole to the next and it seems like a long way but I have to do my challenge for the week.

After work and picking up Corbin from school I went and had coffee with Kris it was great... nice to relax after a long day at work but I felt like I couldn't concentrate too much as I had so much on my mind.

We are off on our Quad bike weekend this weekend. There is 9 of us going now.. it is going to be soo much fun. I can't wait. I will post photos after the weekend. I hope the weather is good for it.

Anyway going to organise dinner for the monkeys he he

Love CM

Monday, 4 September 2006

Crushers Challenge for this week argghhh

My day at work wasn't anything to write on here about... Monday's are always terrible he he he he.

But... went to my PT with Crusher tonight. I got there at 5.30 to do my half an hour before I have her and was on the bike and Corbin's teacher came up and chatted with me... she is such a lovely lady. I am glad my boy has her as a teacher he just loves learning with her.

Anyway after 15 minutes on the bike I went on the cross trainer for 10 minutes and then Crusher said... "Come on let's go outside" GRRR she knows I hate going outside. I know I have to be more positive and get out there but I tense up soooo much when I am walking with other people. She does push me and that is great but my calves go all tense. Anyway I think she took me outside because she thought my reaction to my challenge this week would be a loud reaction he he he...

So anyway she said my challenge is for this week to jog to the end of my street and back and no walking I have to jog! OMG she is a torturer or what. I said to her "you read my blog didn't you" she said "No I haven't had a chance to yet why" so I told her about the jogging last night. After our workout she said that I have to do the first one of the challenge tonight so when I got home all the boys went for a jog with me... at least it was dark. Not sure if I would like to jog when it is light that is for sure lol not until I feel comfortable.

I must say though my ankle isn't happy with it today... I am not sure if it is the same thing as Friday/Saturday with my ankle but it isn't quite good tonight either after the gym workout... feeling good that I did the first of my challenge this week though yayyy.

2 Weetbix

Morning tea

Grainy bread

Fish (caught by a friends dad)
Macaroni & Cheese

I didn't have a V today. I have been getting addicted to it again and had to make sure I didn't have any today. I had heaps of water today too even though I don't usually like it.

Feeling a lot happier about my lifestyle change tonight. I wasn't this morning but feeling like I tried tonight.

Had a huge talk to Crusher about my motivation tonight and about my food etc and how I am feeling bloated and getting really tired of the same old same food and she said she would come over on Wednesday and have a huge talk about food and some solutions and see how she can help. I need it!! I really do I want to get to goal!! I want it soo much it is getting me angrier and angrier. Crusher is just the best...what would I do without her help... I just don't know.

Anyway tired and going to bed

Love CM

Sunday, 3 September 2006

Jog one... Walk one....

Took the boys fishing and unfortunatly didn't catch anything but we had so much fun teaching them about hooks and bait and just watching the water flowing... it was sooo calming. I said to hubby that I would love to go out fishing (without the kids he he he) sometime just to sit watch and catch those fish.

Went out this morning and ordered the trophies for the soccer team since I am their manager... woooooowww what a hard choice because there is so many different choices and it took me forever to find out what I really wanted.

It was a pretty cruisey day because it was the first Saturday in like 4 months that we didn't have soccer on.... and it was enjoyable.

Fathers day he he he and we woke about 9am he he he with the kids bringing in breakfast... OMG my mum is a treasure she helped them make us breakfast in bed. It was sooooo filling that I was fighting to eat it as I hadn't totally woken up yet. It was nice that is for sure.... they were so cute bringing it up the stairs to our room and I even got a coffee. My boys are little treasures. I was spoilt and I am not even a father he he he. Hubby was chuffed and they made him a card and gave him his presents and he just loved everything about it.

When we got up I cut his hair (no 2) he he he and then went downstairs and go on our bikes and went for a 9km bike ride with the kids. We stopped at a couple of playgrounds on the way home. Quinn wasn't too happy by about 7km but we finally got there. On the way we went past Woolworths and go lunch. Yummy tuna on stick bread with tomato and salt and pepper...OHHHH I love having that for lunch in the weekend.

We all read our books for about an hour and then got ready for our black and white photos to be taken. Our creche organises every day for a day where you go in as a family at a booked time and take photos. The boys were in their jeans and white shirt and denim jackets and their hair all spiked up he he he they were sooo adorable. The photographer turned around and said that they could be models that they were great and listened and there was a glisten in their faces. OMG talk about a proud mum. We had a great family photo on the floor and I so enjoyed having photos taken for a change. I wore jeans and a black top with black high heels. Felt so good. I know I have heaps more to lose but I was pleased to have a fun family photo.

Delwyn a friend from MM8 came around tonight after being with her parents for the weekend with fresh fish that her Dad caught today.. wow it was all gutted and presented for us to freeze... what a great guy to give up his fish like that.

But on to the pieceda'resistance.... Hubby and I put the boys in bed and when they were asleep we went for a walk (while mum watched them) and we started walking around the block and jogged one light and walked one light. OMG I couldn't believe I was doing this... I was happy I was doing this but a little weary as well. I had to put up my left ankle friday and saturday a bit because it was swollen and was worried that the walk I went with Crusher on Friday was too much as I go faster with her then I normally do. It was still a little tender until this morning with my ankle so maybe I just twisted it some how hmmmm?

I jogged one Walked one... I did it!! Hubby was proud. We have decided that every night (other than my mother bingo nights) we would go out for a walk and jog he he and see if we can practice up to jog the whole block. It is going to take a while but I am wanting this challenge. I think doing this with hubby is going to make it easier. When I am with Crusher she walks so fast in between the jogs that I can't catch my breath and I don't want to hate this new found jogging I want to slowly get used to jogging. Does that make sense? But I felt F*&&n fantastic when I got home.. puffed but fantastic

Over Full.... Over Full... that is how I am feeling today.


Friday, 1 September 2006

Coming or Going??

Went to the gym this morning with a PT with Crusher and we went for a 20 minute walk in this lovely weather. It was a nice walk... I felt quite tense in the walk with my legs.. not sure if I was tense or that my muscles etc just were over tired.

Went back to the gym and did the following:

2000mtrs on Rower
10 minutes cross trainer
50 sit ups making sure that my tummy was feeling tense
Leg Extensions
10 minutes Bike

Talking to hubby tonight and I am wanting more sugary things since working hard with exercise. I am doing too much. I am eating, sleeping, breathing and talking weight loss and it is tiring and I have had enough and I need to take time to do other things.. I had a huge breakdown tonight about it with hubby.

I am not knowing whether I am coming or going!!! I am not liking NOT knowing my weight. I am in a way because I am more relaxed about food but that is the problem I am more relaxed about food and it isn't helping me, because I am not caring as much about what I am eating and wanting more sugary things and not giving a sh*t.

In the last 4 weeks I don't think I have lost not even 1 kilo (but I don't know)... ok I might have lost something but I am in this because I need to (NO WANT TO) lose weight and not knowing where the hell I am is driving me insane... and it is affecting everything.. it is affecting my sense of humour, it is affecting my sleep, it is affecting my relationship with hubby, it is affecting ME!!!

Knowing what my weight is gives me feedback so that I can feel that I have been doing the right thing and it gives me positive feedback so when I see my weight go down I have been doing the right thing and when I see my weight go up then I have to do some adjusting... but right now I am not getting that feedback so I there is no incentive to not eat chocolate.

I don't want to come across like a scale whore but I feel like I need that feedback because it's the only solid metric that I have to measure myself against.... How I feel at the end of the week comes and goes I can feel great after a week where I have gained a kilo sometimes and crappy other times when I have been really good. Measurements have been way unaccurate for me in the past because they go up and down to no relationship to what I have been doing and measurements can be in different places on my body with different results.

It's like if I have a goal to make a million dollars and I am trying to do that by not looking at my bank account... it just doesn't make sense to me.

I am not even sure if knowing my weight helped me either but I am constantly reading about weight loss and talking about it and doing 5 days and sometimes 6 days a week exercise that I feel like I am going slowly insane.

Hubby sat me down and said "you are going to listen to me" and wow... since my hubby is sooo placid I knew things weren't going right.. so this is what is going to happen.

I am going back to doing the No Count starting tomorrow because I felt happy about the three main meals a day with snacks sometimes... I am going to update my blog and read a couple of blogs a night and then I am turning it off and doing something else... that has nothing to do with weight loss NOTHING... I have to feel normal again! I am NOT to do more than 5 days a week weight loss.

I have come too far to stop losing weight.. I am fitter than I have ever been in my life now THANK YOU CRUSHER and I am not going to give up that because I don't like when I don't do exercise and I don't want to give up CRUSHER... that is going brilliantly... but I have to stop living and breathing food, diet, weight!!!!

You know there are other things in my life.. there are... but I don't do anything else anymore ya know. That is going to change.

2 Crumpet slices
Golden syrup


Hoki Fish
Homemade Chips
Tartare Sauce (Lite)

Love ya all