Tuesday, 30 August 2005

Weigh in tonight

OMG I gained!!! 700 grams and I have been sick and really haven't eaten much. I went back to the gym on Monday and I reakon it was that... it takes 2 to 3 weeks to start getting back into the loosing after starting the gym again.

I shouldn't complain too much after loosing the 3.3 kilos last week but I hadn't been well this week either and hardly ate and drank lots of water so I didn't think I would gain NOT at all.

That is ok. only 2 kilos to go till I am 20 kilos down and that isn't bad at all. 20 kilos down is what I am aiming for! Back to work tomorrow and back to tracking and getting this weight down.

I am not going to give up on this journey I AM NOT! I have had a minor set back and I am going to keep going. I want to get under that 100 kilo's and I have 35 more to go and if I can loose 18 kilos then I can loose the rest. Even though it is going to take a while I am going to do this. I just hate the yoyoing and I don't want to keep it going like that.

Have to keep up with the walking. I haven't been walking in such a long time and I have to get off my butt and get some walking done.

I have been talking to Kris and we are going to the Weight Watchers holiday thingy next November we are going to aim to loose as much as we can and get there.

If I loose 500 grams a week till then then I will be down to 103 kilos by the start of November. It is going to be great being that weight. I know it is still overweight but what an achievement by then.

I have worked out that if I loose an average of 500 grams a week then I will get to MY goal of 75 by December 2007. If I loose more then it will be before that. But I reckon 500 grams a week is doable and logical and I am going to stick to it.

The only thing I have to think about now is what my next mini goal is because I have no idea what I want or what I can aim for. I know that I want to get to my 20 kilos (only 2 kilos to go) but there is nothing that I want when I achieve that. I need to sit down and think what I want to achieve by Christmas. I know that when I started in January this year that I wanted to loose 20 kilos by the end of the year. I hope that I will loose more now that I am so close to the 20 kilos.

Anyway had a depressing night with not loosing anything that I am logging off now and going to go to bed.

Nighty night

Monday, 29 August 2005


My day was really good. It is the first time since starting the new job that I didn't feel bad.

Took Corbin to school and Quinn came along as well. Went to Tanya's afterwards as she said she had some clothes for me that she can't wear anymore. So I went there and it was great talking with Tanya again. Missed seeing her.

So went to the gym today for the first time in 2 weeks and it was fantastic. I took the combat class today and was sweating like a pig and I could tell my fitness level had really taken a nose dive but I enjoyed the class and I am glad that I stayed.

Came home and checked out those clothes and I found quite a few that I liked. I found these sexy three quarter pants that have pin stripes (yep doesn't sound wonderful) but they are something I have always wanted and I feel sexy in them. I got so many compliments when wearing them to pick up Corbin from school and also from my old work that I went to visit today.

I had one mother come up and say "you are looking fantastic lately I thought I would tell you" so it made me feel like 200 feet tall he he he.

I am so wanting tomorrow to hurry up as I have my weigh in and I need to know how much I have lost. I have 1.3 kilos to go to get to my 20 kilos and I am really wanting this! I am wanting to get over the 20 kilo hurdle and aim for that 25 kilos and then the 30.

Then went back to Tanya's after picking up Corbin and we had a good chat and she said she would take Corbin to and from school while we are on holiday in Melbourne Wohoooooooo how great is that. I don't have to worry about him and how he will get to school. It was nice of BLONDE to offer etc but I feel more comfortable with Tanya doing it especially when her kids go to the same school.

Anyway good night everyone. Life is good today.


Sunday, 28 August 2005

Yayyyy Party finished

Hey everyone.

What an amazing day this has been. All the other birthday parties I have had for the boys have always been a nightmare of me worrying and the kids never doing anything that they were happy with. Pass the parcel and other silly games they usually have. So I decided no pass the parcel yayyyy. But we had a bouncy castle (sort of... it was a bouncy boxing ring) and a foam party and since the theme was pirate party I made eye patches and got them all pirate hats too. We had a treasure hunt and they had to dig for treasure (gold chocolate coins).

Then...... we had the foam gun. OMG our back yard right now looks like a nightmare and I don't think the foam will go away for a couple of days he he he he it looks like white snow in the back yard. I got foamed too he he he you can see in the photo collage I did below. ALSO if you are interested BLONDE is in the photo too and she is next to me in the foam with the light blue top on.

I had so much fun in it and it was so smooth and my hair is feeling wonderful he he he and slippery and I felt like a kid again. I can tell you now that last year with the 18 kilos on my that I don't have now I wouldn't have done this!! I just wouldn't have. So I am feeling more confident with my size now. My throat is a little sore from shouting he he he he and I have a cold chest he he he but it was worth it to see how happy my son was today. He really loved his new bicycle as well so all in all the day was fantastic and I didn't eat any of the junk food either... none of it so that is a really proud moment for me today too. I didn't even have any cake woohooooo... so 20 kilos on Tuesday come my way, come my way.
Love you all

Saturday, 27 August 2005

Back again!!!

Went back to the doctor yesterday as I still wasn't feeling well.

Wellll.... I burst out in tears as for the last two days (before the doctor) I hadn't slept at all because my nose was blocked and when I went to lay down I couldn't breath and was having panic attacks... (yes it does sound silly but at the time it was quite scary) and I was really upset because I was drained and tired.

Welll...... he he he the doctor said I have a chest infection, ear infection and a and sinus infection
GEESH is that all I said to him.I do feel more like a normal person today apart from the fact that I have been sick , and apparently if the antibiotics aren't working after about 2 to 3 days then I should get my backside back to the doctor.... so let's hope my second lot of antibiotics is going to work this time... it is getting better so I am hopefull. I have been shopping for my son's birthday party tomorrow (he is having a pirate party and soooo excited) I can't say that I am feeling the same about it with all the work I have to do with the cake etc.

So since 1pm to 5.30 pm today I have done eye patches for the little pirates coming he he he and Corbin's cake as you can see in the picture. Still not feeling well and I took a long time doing this cake (3 hours) because my hands were shaking too much he he.

I also decided that since it was his birthday that we would get a hook for his hand and a little pirate knife and some fake pirate teeth so he was spoilt rotten that is for sure.

So from today you can guarantee that I will be back to writing in the diary... I missed it so much last week but as my hubby said that he could tell I was realllllllly unwell because I never never never never miss a chance to get on the computer and if I am not wanting to do it then something is really up.

I can tell you something... I have soooo missed reading everyones journals so I am so far behind it is unbelievable.

Well I will be back tomorrow.

I have my weigh in on Tuesday and I have only 1.3 kilos to loose to get to my 20 kilos. I am so ready to tell Tania "na na na na na I can loose 20 kilos in a year and never tell me I shouldn't aim so high" I never think anyone should say never aim high... what they should say is don't be dissapointed if you don't make it and make realistic goals but I don't think 500grams every week is unrealistic and that is all I am aiming for that is for sure.

It might take me a couple of weeks to get there but the first 20 kilos is just so so so so further than I thought I would get and I had 78 kilos to loose at the start (but not anymore he he he)

Good night everyone... I am back to feeling better and rearing to get going on this weight loss.

I need to say Janine!!! I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. My thoughts are with you. (big hugs)

Love you all

Wednesday, 24 August 2005

Been sick

Hi everyone

I have been really sick since Saturday and totally drained. I had tonsilitis, and the flu but it was that bad flu going around. I couldn't do anything I just slept and took tablets all day and had a temperature of 38.5

Hubby drove me to Weight Watchers on Tuesday and I reallllllllllllllllly shouldn't have as I was not well at all and felt quite dizzy. But anyway I lost 3.3 kilos, so I have lost 18.7 kilos altogether now.

Thank you to all your comments and I will reply when I feel much better but not tonight.

Lastly for tonight!!!!! OMG Karen my friend my heart goes out to you! I am sooooo sorry! BIG HUGS.

Will reply soon. Thanks for still reading.


Thursday, 18 August 2005

Computer Scrapbooking

Lately I haven't been doing my scrapbooking or computer scrapbooking and tonight realised I miss it. I suppose I have been concentrating so much on my blog and weight loss that I have given up documenting my family.

So I thought I would put my little darlings on here for you to have a look.

I really enjoy making scrapbook pages on the computer it is so much less expensive but rewarding as I can make anything as long as I try.

I love this one it is just so simple but it shows how much my two boys love each other.

I have been a little hesitant to put pictures of my boys up on line but decided if anyone I know sees my blog then they have to take whatever I say in this as my view only and if they don't like it then they can go and read something else.

I have been asleep most of the day and it still doesn't feel like it has made much difference. My head is full of cold and my eyes can't stop watering. I just want to feel better and get back to the gym. I have missed the gym like crazy in the last week. Once is just not enough that is for sure! I want to get back into shape and stop procrastinating. I have been so bad in the last 2 weeks and I want to get back to it but I am also liking being free to eat what I like as well. I will get back to it as I keep reading everyones blogs so that I get my A into G.

I am so pleased with Blogspot you wouldn't believe. It is so much nicer to see the comments with the daily entries and that I can go back on them and read what people have suggested. I should have done it a long time ago.

I feel so guilty that I didn't go to work today. I am not feeling well but I have only been at the new job for 3 weeks and taking a day off already. I phoned my boss at 7am this morning and she said "OMG I didn't even recognise your voice, you get back into bed right now" Wow that was a nice way to say it. I thought she would be upset or something. But she wasn't. I will be back on board tomorrow even though I know I will not be 100%.

Oh well I am going to have dinner now yummmmy hubby cooking a really nice dinner. Lets hope I can taste it he he he he

Good night everyone.


Wednesday, 17 August 2005

Pay Rise

My day started with me feeling like hmmmm a nasty word I don't want to write he he he. But my throat is still really scratchy.

I was better with my food today. I hade sunflower seed toast for breakfast, pretzels and spaghetti bolagnaise and a mandarin. (so far).

My boss told me to go home twice but it didn't feel right to go home when I have only been at the job for three weeks.

Booked our tickets for Melbourne last night. I have been putting it off for so long because I couldn't work out how to get my oldest son to school while we were away. Hubby said that I have to hurry up and book the tickets. I just don't like not knowing how the kids will get to creche and school... he says we have to November it will all work out.... well it doesn't always work out.

So I booked the tickets last night and today I spoke to my new boss and she said that if BLONDE brings in the boys to creche then she will take the oldest to school but I will have to get someone to pick our oldest son from school... so I told BLONDE this when we were talking and she said if we can't get anyone don't fear she will do it and organise it with her boss. Wow!!! that is probably the nicest thing she has ever done for me. I wasn't thinking that she would be the one to pick him up I was just telling her what was going on with me at the moment... so I am feeling a lot more relaxed about it all now.

Took oldest to soccer practice today and my cellphone went off. I don't usually have that many phone calls on it as I don't usually have money to phone others on it but...... my hubby was on the other end saying "I got called into the boss's office today and he has given me a payrise Woohoo" then he said "so how much of a percentage do you think I got hun?" I said "Oh 2-3% he said no... I said 1% he said no... then he said 9.6%" I just screamed I didn't think that would be the amount OMG OMG it feels fantastic as now we can pay off some bills and get back on track and this holiday might not be a strict one after all. Plus it gets back dated a 2 months as well woohoooooo.

So my day turned out ok.

Going to have an early night I think... want to shake this nasty flu.

Good night everyone
P.S please forgive me if I haven't read your diary tonight or commented... I will be back on track in the next couple of days.


Tuesday, 16 August 2005

Still not feeling well

I was such a blob today! I don't think I got anything achieved. I am still not feeling well. It has been over a week now and I still feel like the start of a cold... the starttttt of a cold for a week is driving me insane. Scratching feeling in my throat.

OK so tomorrow is my first day of my first week back on track. I know I am going to get slack for saying the following.... but I am not going to Weight Watchers tonight. I am not going because I am not feeling well but not just that I am not going because I have been really bad this week and my mind would not take going below the 15 kilos!!! It just wouldn't and I am not going to give up...... just that I am not going tonight. I don't think that is too bad since end of January I have only missed one night.

That is me for tonight...

Monday, 15 August 2005

Falling back into the trap

OMG I feel like I am falling back into my bad habits.

I don't want to! I want to keep this weight coming off but in the last week since getting my 10% I have eaten crap... crap I tell you... I am going to list the things I have eaten here so that I am not going to keep this going. If I post what I have eaten maybe that will push me into sorting out myself.

Chocolate thin biscuits
Toffee Pops
Extra Garlic Bread at dinner
Nibbling all week
No water
Pizza for dinner one night
Nibbling hot chips from the kids lunch in the weekend.
NO exercise

OH MY God I am usually a cheese person and not a sweet person but this week I have gone overboard.

I was sick last Tuesday (on my day off) so I didn't go to the gym and I went on Thursday but didn't make up for it for the rest of the week, and I am quite angry with myself for that too.

I didn't go this morning as I have tonsilitis now and I really feel like crap. I am starting to wonder if me getting sick like this again every week is because I am not happy...

I am not sure if I am happy at work or not. I miss my own office and I am not happy how I get treated by people when they see me at the desk... it is like you are the low of the low sometimes and I have worked so hard in my career to go back to feeling like that again.

I am not a receptionist.. I am their administrator I don't sit there and just greet people, and I feel so lowly or something. I know that sounds bad... I know but I miss the respect of the job I had... I miss the fact that others knew I was the assistant manager and when my boss was away I took over, I miss the feeling like I am there to do more than just serve... I know it sounds bad (I DO KNOW this) just that I feel like I am back to where I started again. The people there treat me like Gold (work colleagues) don't get me wrong and my boss thinks I am the best things since sliced bread and I get paid OOOHHH so much more than I did at the University but I don't think I am happy!

I know I am the only one making myself upset and I have to give this place a chance... anyway (sigh)

I must say with everyone swapping their blogs to bloggspot is fantastic... it is like reading them for the first time all over again.... Well done everyone.

I will try and update again tonight (I don't usually post this early) ;-)


OK I am back now..... I went out to the gym this afternoon!!! and it certainly was good... but bad. I haven't been going for a week and I certainly felt it because the rower was slower for me and I was getting frustrated with myself... but that is all good I just have to work myself back up to the fitness level again. So I did the following:
15 minutes treadmill
15 minutes on the bike (with peddles in front)
10 minutes on Rower before giving up as I was getting frustrated.
Side weights for my tummy 12 each side times 3
Sit ups 4 sets of 15 OUCH
but the best thing was that when I had finished I was going towards my locker to get my stuff and my trainer came and starting talking to me and she said "how is your new job going?" I said it was good. She said that she is training my new boss and she said "OMG you have made an impression on your new boss, she is praising you up and saying that you are the best thing that happened to them and that she feels comfortable leaving you alone because she knows that you will find something to do and not sit on your backside" OMG I had like a tear coming down my cheek as that is fantastic for her to be telling other people how she feels about my work. I wasn't too sure how she really felt but she is obviously happy. So my day turned out to be ok. Still feeling a little under the weather though. I do think I am not getting sleep and have to rectify that.
I am liking Blogger like you wouldn't believe it is so much easier than diaryland.. Woohoooo
Good night

Sunday, 14 August 2005

First Post on Blogger

Hey everyone...

I finally did the change over. I needed a change! I have been working on it for a week now and I have finally managed to transfer all my posts as well because it was making me uncomfortable to come to blogger without having my posts. I want to be able to keep the comments with the posts that I do and Diaryland just didn't do that.... also diaryland keeps on breaking down and I am scared that I will loose everything.

I have had an ok day today.. My stepmother in law and father in law came over to see the boys for an hour this morning and I haven't seen my stepmother in law for a couple of months and we were sitting down all nice and I got up to see what the kids were doing and sat back down and she said... "OMG girl you are doing great how much have you lost?" I hadn't told her that I was loosing weight and honestly I know I am feeling good with the 15 kilos lost but I didn't think with how big I am that anyone else would notice just yet. It did make me feel so good when she said it. I didn't know what to say and just said "Thanks... still got a lot to go" and that was all I could think of.

Went to BLONDE's son's birthday party today!!! OMG that boy is the most spoilt brat you could think of... he gets away with anything. He got one of the balloons with the sticks and proceeded to swing it around trying to hit my son... and not just a small hit and he got all the plastic cups and plates and napkins off the table... and then BLONDE came in and said Oi in a nasty way (to my son) and I turned around and said "don't say that to him it was your son that did it and my son was just standing there protecting himself" she shut up after that.. OMG I was wild that she could assume it was my son without even seeing what was going on. Maybe if she kept an eye on her brat then he wouldn't do crap like that.

I was thinking in the car today that when I first started on this journey I kept looking at my ticker and thinking I wish there was a bigger gap between the starting number and the amount lost... and now it is starting to look that way and to look like I am achieving something it is fantastic. It just makes me feel on top of the world.

As I mentioned in my last post I have been really bad this week. I haven't tracked and I have just given myself a week off... it isn't a good idea I know, but I think I was going to explode if I didn't. So starting tomorrow I am back on track and going to the gym and do a class. I hope that Kris is going to be there to do a class with me tomorrow...

OMG last night we had Beef Stroganoff (Weight Watcher) and it was devine... but got a little carried away with the garlic bread hmmmmmmm soooooo yummmy.

So what do you think about my new site? Do you like the heading? I made one that meant something to me and things that I am looking forward to when I loose the weight. I want to go 4 wheel bike riding in Rotorua when I get to 100 kilos (or maybe a little earlier) so that is why that is there. I want to buy a Bicycle and go bike riding with all my family and thinking maybe I will do that just under a 100 kilos. Oh the jeans!!! I want to fit in some jeans that don't feel constricting or there is any fat hanging over them he he he he (which by the way I just got back into a pair of black jeans that I used to wear (size 26) which I couldn't zip up but now I can. Woohooooooooo. I just have a couple more kilos to lose to feel comfortable sitting in). The red dress is my dream dress for when I get to goal. I want to wear it to a fancy restaurant and wear fabulous high heels to show the ankles off too he he he. But there are so many more things that I want to do too but they are the main things I am aiming for.

Anyway on that note I am going to sign off now!

I hope that you all don't forget to change your links too PLEAASSEEEEE and point them to my new site....PWEESSEEE.


Saturday, 13 August 2005

Tears of Happiness because of great friends

Thank you
Thank you
Thank you

Thank you for all your wonderful comments it is absolutly wonderful to know that I am not just talking drivel like I thought I was he he he..

Anyway I am in the process of going over to blogger... so that the comments can be kept with my diary.

So bear with me. In the next couple of days I might change over. I just want to get it right first.
You wouldn't believe how that made me feel tonight reading the tags.

I am starting to get in to my new job that is for sure. The only thing that bugs me a little is that BLONDE has her son at the creche (and what a difference he is when she isn't around, I don't mind him at the creche). So I don't get away from her totally as on the Wednesday and Thursdays I see her in the mornings. I still get this pit in my stomach when I see her like there is a competing thing there and maybe it is just me but it really bugs the hell out of me that I am feeling like that.

My mum is going away for the weekend so it will be quite quiet around here this weekend. I think she needs to get out with some of her friends. The only problem is that most of the people she has known most of her life life 2 hours away and that is why she doesn't get to see them much. I have said a thousand times that I will pay for a bus ticket or take her up there but she is just a home body. But there is a big anniversary up there and they have invited her to come up for the weekend. So I hope she enjoys herself this weekend.

Back to work.... well I am finally getting used to the job and they are a great bunch of people that is for sure and they seem to have a great time. I still feel like the odd one out and I think it is only because I am new. I do find that I am getting used to one of the directors and she isn't as scary as I first thought. I suppose I have this thing that when someone is the boss that I can't see anything but business links with them and I can't seem to relax. I am trying this time to relax a little more and I think it is working. We seem to have a laugh while she is teaching me the job and she has said some nice compliments about how on to it I am and fast... so I might end up liking this job.

I haven't been that in to the gym or in to the weight loss this week. I think that I have just come to the stage that I have achieved my first BIG goal and I need a week just to relax... not to give up just cool off a little for just a week and enjoy as well. I also feel like I want to compete again and it is screwing up my goal for me. I don't like the competing and so I have to re focus again to make it that the gym is for me and not to compete but for me to do it for me. So I don't think I will be too worried about the weigh in on Tuesday as I haven't really tried this week.

Anyway it is 11pm and I am a tired bunnie he he he... will check you all tomorrow night.

Once again thanks for being there and listening... it has made this journey much easier.


Friday, 12 August 2005

What should I say?

The last couple of days has been just me trying to recoup. I am still feeling a little dizzy. Monday and Tuesday I spent most of the day in bed as I just didn't feel right and felt like I was shaking inside.

I am so happy with getting my 10% off!! I am so unbelievably happy but I have been bad food wise since. I am not happy with that. So tomorrow I will back on track as I want to keep loosing my 500 grams a week. I want to loose more but I am averaging 500 grams a week and so far that is good. I don't want to go backward... I don't but I fear that I will go backward because of being too complacent.

I went to the gym tonight and did 10 minutes on the rower and 15 minutes on the treadmill and 15 minutes on the bike that you have your legs in front of you. I also did my arm rower (don't know what the machine is called) and my weights for my tummy.

Then went and had a sauna and spa. I feel exhausted today. I haven't been to the gym since Monday morning and I can certainly feel it. I had to keep away for the last couple of days just to get myself back on track.

So I will go back tomorrow night to the gym and then next week back to the routine.
I have been wanting to read and read lately but not having the time to do it. I have this website I have to complete for a business and I just don't want to do it. I am avoiding it like you wouldn't believe and I know I should be doing it but I don't want to. In the last 3 years I have redone it twice and updated it so many times and I only started doing it for my friend to help him out and now it is becoming a pain in the rear end as he is a demanding sort of person.

Had a good day at work today. Starting to feel like I am getting used to it. I do think I might be a little bored in the job once I redo things for them. OMG they are like out of the dark ages with their forms and all their stuff. I went in today and asked if I could try some things out and my boss what like looking at me like she was heaven or something.

I brought some Avon Facial moisturisers and serum's a week ago and have been using them and OMG my face is just so soft and smooth and feeling good. I am really pleased with them. I have tried everything from cheap to expensive products in the shops and I always get dermitis from them and was begining to give up but after using this for the week it feels fantastic.

I am finding it hard to find things to write about in here lately... I go and read some diaries and they have between 15 to 25 comments on their diaries and I can understand why... because they are interesting. I sometimes wonder why anyone reads mine... it is such drivel...

Tomorrow night I might put some of my goals in so that I can reaffirm where I am going.


Wednesday, 10 August 2005

Got my 10% Woohooo

Got my 10%
Got my 10%


I can't believe it but I have finally got my 10% yes it has taken me forever but I got there tonight. I felt so great to get my 15 kilo star and then also the 10% key charm


Ok so I am doing a little jig..

Going to go now and read some journals.


Tuesday, 9 August 2005

Help me help a friend

"If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got."

I know that our Weight Watchers leaders have said this a lot and thought that I would put in tonight as I think I finally got it.

I have a friend... yep it does happen he he he he and I can see that she is going through a lot lately with her weight loss and I know she is doing the hard sloger at the gym but I can also see that all the hard slog she does at the gym is not helping one bit to the fact that the food she is putting in her mouth is not good for her.

I am not sure how to help her as I have only been friends with her for a little while. I can also understand that coming from a person who is bigger than her can be like (what they hell do you know) but I can see it happening and see how frustrated she is getting and it is all falling apart around her.

I do know where she is coming from as weight loss is the hardest thing that I have ever attempted in my life and it is an ongoing problem that just can't be done in 6 months then forget about it. Because in the end a year down the track you will be kicking yourself thinking why didn't I just stick it out... was it as hard as I was letting my mind tell me?

I went back to weight watcher 2 years ago and stuck it out for a couple of months and then gave up as I found it hard with loosing then gaining then loosing and I look back now and think I would have had the weight off by now if I would only stop my mind from convincing me otherwise. I do know that I am the only one that can help me and with my friend I know that she is the only one stopping herself but I don't think she gets it.

I used to be jealous of what she had achieved in such a short time and how good and happy she was looking but then deep down I can see there is something missing, something that maybe she doesn't know is missing. Life maybe is what she is missing.

When my Dad died 5 years ago I realised I have only one life to live and blaming others or blaming things is not going to help me achieve what I want... we could die tomorrow and all the problem we have with our partners or kids is nothing and I don't want to go to my death bed thinking.... I wish I would have tried a little harder, I want to go to my death bed thinking, I taught my kids the right things and they are happy and I spent the time with them and never regretted it and I completely loved my husband and our life together and I am content that I did all that I needed to do in my short life.

I don't want to hurt her feelings as she is a kind and generous lady but I feel a sadness to see that if she just doesn't keep up with the weight loss then she is going to be even more unhappy and that the support we get from Weight Watchers really helps because it keeps us on track and sane and there are other people out there going through the same thing. Because when she sees she isn't loosing any weight then the next thing to fall off the wagon will be the gym and then she will be right back where she started. How can I help my friend? Or do I just let her give up Weight Watchers and watch? Which I don't like to do as I feel like I want to help.

Anyway my rambling for the day....


Monday, 8 August 2005


My mother in law took the boys today from 11 till 2.30pm and woooooowww it was great. So I decided this morning that I would stay in bed till 12.30 Yayyyyy the last time I did that was like 7 years ago when my kids weren't even a thought he he.

When they got home this afternoon we played New Zealand monopoly and it was good but my mother decided to play and she is a stickler for rules and was driving me absolutly insane. She was picking on Corbin for doing something and then me and then she kept saying she wasn't getting the collect $200 when she passes go so hubby made a point of telling her that she got it and don't forget. I think by the end of it I had had enough... we brought the game last week so that my two boys would learn about money and counting and the whole time I kept telling my mum to stop telling them how much the dice added up to so that they can learn but no she kept doing it the whole time THE WHOLE BLOODY TIME. Ok can you tell it has pissed me off today? On top of that I have a cold so decided not to go to the gym this weekend and instead try really hard this week to get it off.

My mother in law is coming for dinner tonight to which should be interesting. She is good but it always seems quite strained like I have to watch what I eat or what I say... might update later.


Challenged Enough?

Well it as finally happened!!! Yep yep I have my husbands cold. I am not feeling the best. I didn't show it at work today that is for sure.

I had my boss come out and say "are you happy? are you sure this job is going to be challenging enough for you?" OMG I didn't know what to say.

I said "I have only been here two weeks.. and I am finding it good and I love the people here too. Plus I am only there part time."

I then said "why?? do I look like I am not happy??" she said "no just that I don't want you leaving on us" I just laughed and said "OMG I have been two weeks I AM NOT LEAVING HE HE HE"

In the two weeks since being there I have already changed the way they do some things he he he he because I think they are afraid of computers and I like having everything on the computer and I am a little anal about consistancy he he he so maybe she thinks I will get bored and move on..... seeeee she doesn't realise it yet but I want to be a part of the new creche she is thinking about starting and if she thinks I am fantastic now... wait till she sees me in action... plus I want to be a partner one day.... (big cheezy grin on my face) and if I show I am competent then maybe she might want me to be a partner (I heard she is looking). She did that to the other lady that owns the business with her and I want to be a business owner one day! I REALLY DO!!
Food wise today I can't say has been good. I caved in and had a chocolate muffin today. This week..hmmm I don't know if the 10% will be made this week coming! I am still going to the gym but the food hasn't been that wonderful.

I forgot to mention last night I got my 2000m on the rower down to 10.58 wooohooooo I was sooooo happy!!!! Wohooooooo

Yayyyy it is Friday night and hopefully once the boys are sorted then I can get to bed early? (cross fingers)

Good night everyone


Thursday, 4 August 2005

Ok so my day at work went really fast. I have to do all the WINZ payments now too... think after only one week they are thinking they should give me more responsiblity which in a way is good but wow that is a lot for only a part timer he he he. One of the Directors didn't come in today either and I was told by the other Director that she has never done that before... and that she must feel comfortable with me OMG what a big head I got after that.

I still feel a little depressed and missing my other job but I know money wise I have made the right decision.

I felt skinny today I wore another one of my new tops to work today and felt quite dressed up... it was a nice feeling.

I am going to a pot luck dinner that Weight Watchers is having at one of the ladies house tonight and I can't wait. I have made Lime Chilli chicken on skewers YUMMMMMY can't wait for it tonight. We all have to make a WW recipe.... OMG it is going to be weird to eat in front of these people tonight... especially the in front of the leaders.

Anyway thank you for all the comments I am feeling more and more confident that I can get to that 10% next week. I was looking at my tracker tickers and thinking OMG I have come a long way since I started when you couldn't even see the numbers because they were too close together and now there is a big gap from the 153.7 to the 139 he he he it is soooo nice to see it.
I want to prove Tania wrong and that I can loose 20 kilos in one year... she said don't set myself up for failure. I mean I just don't get it... I know that I shouldn't be unrealistic but I don't think 20 kilos is something out of my reach. I was saying to hubby yesterday that I want to get up to her and pass her... and that isn't being nasty it is just that I don't like being told that I shouldn't do something or to aim to high... as long as I don't give up then whatever I aim for shouldn't matter. I will do this!!! Tania has been going for a year and she has lost almost 30 kilos (with Weight Watchers) that I am going to beat her!!! I just have to have a goal and maybe this will do it for me. He he he.

Anyway enough rambling on he he


Wednesday, 3 August 2005

Doing it for me!

Ok I went for my weigh in today!

I wanted to get to my 10% today which would have been to 15.3 kilos. But I only managed 14.7 kilos so I have 700grams to go and I BETTER get it next week.

It was an interesting night at Weight Watchers tonight they were talking about holidays and how people go on holiday and come back actually loosing weight. We sometimes forget that on holiday we actually move more with walking and shopping and exploring things.

I was so unhappy about only loosing only 800grams and my leader came and talked to me. I do realise that I lost and a loss is a loss. I do realise it but I feel sometimes I try so much harder than some of the girls there and do my exercise and track and I still only loose 800grams...just feels like injustice.

I am feeling better that is for sure. I am loosing and not gaining and that is the main thing. A lady came in to the weight watchers meeting today that hasn't been there since February and she came over and said to me I am looking fantastic and she can see the difference. OMG that made me feel so good as I know I have been loosing but hadn't really had anyone that hardly knows me come and tell me that.

Went to the gym today and enjoyed the work out. I am getting in to a routine and rhythm(omg that word doesn't look right to me). I used to fear going to the gym by myself and would never go unless I had someone with me. I have finally come to the realisation that I need to go for me and I can do it. If I get bored with the routine then all I need to do is get my trainer to find another program for me to keep me interested.

I have managed in the last week to do my program and still talk to people there and I still see Kris there (and like it when she is there)but I am doing it for me for a change. I am not worrying about anyone else and what they do or if I am doing the same. I am finally doing it for me he he he for me.

Goodnight from me as I have a 7.30am start tomorrow.


Tuesday, 2 August 2005


I haven't updated in the last couple of days. I have been really busy and I am sorry. I have lots of work to do tonight so I will email later on or tomorrow.

Thanks everyone for understanding.


Ok I am back and should be doing the website for one of my clients but DON'T WANT TO
I am finding it hard this week. I was so dissapointed with last weeks weigh in and I know I should have just kept going as it will catch up with me and be all good but felt so let down with all the exercise I had done and the tracking that it just made me so angry. I am not giving up and I know I say it a lot how it was just wrong the weight loss.... just felt really upset and this week I have hardly tried. I have with the exercise!!! I am still going to the gym but I have had some food that I shouldn't have.

I started doing a website for a friend two years ago for his business and it was fun back then. But now I had him phoning every single day and either at 7.30am or 9pm and I avoid the phone. I like the money that is the problem but I get no time at night time to myself when he has me doing these updates on the website. It is only a furniture bloody website and he changes his product numbers like it is going out of fashion and then I have to change the website. Plus he can't make up his mind on how many photos should be on there either. Ok I am moaning like anything but I am supposed to be a part time working mother and I feel like I am a full time mother. It is just getting on top of me today. When he gave it to me 2 weeks ago he said there was no rush and when I can get to it and in the last 2 days he has phone 3 times to check on how it is going which makes me back off even more. I know, I know, I have to tell him but I need the money too. I just feel like a rock in a hard place at the moment. I am putting off doing it tonight when I know deep down I have to get it done.

Ok so I will tell you about today... Took my son to school and then went to the gym and felt like I did a great work out and then came home. I don't like having the two days off... is that strange... I feel like it is. I miss just having my Wednesday's off and having half days. I know I will get used to it. I suppose it is just because all is new but I somehow think deep down I miss my work mates and I miss my friends I had morning tea and lunch with. It will change and I will make new friends but just feeling a little out of sorts that is all.

I am so lucky to have my mother living with me... I know this but sometimes I want it to be just my family. My mother lives with us, but it feels like I live with her.

I am lucky that she looks after my youngest while I go to the gym and other things. But I get home and she always looks so miserable and I ask her if she wants to go out and for most of the day she says no. But then an hour before I have to pick up my son she says she wants to go out and then I have to be back to pick him up from school and it is like I am the worst daughter in the world.

My mother has the knack of making me feel guilty about anything. I just want my time to do what I feel like and take my son out if I want to and go and visit friends with him if I want to or to stay and veg all day if I want to but I am made to feel like I am doing the wrong thing.

Yes I know I am an adult and I should do what I think I should but my mother has made me feel like that all my life. I feel guilty because she can't drive and get around and because when Dad died he was her life!! and now she doesn't want to be here and I don't want to loose her as well. I just don't know what to do? I want to do some things with my son and me and not feel like I am obliged to do what she wants every single day I have off.

Wow that was a moan for the day wasn't it.