Thursday, 31 August 2006

Birthday, Grommets, Adenoids

It is Corbin's birthday today and hubby and I took him to school… and Quinn and Corbin was happy and left him there and went to hospital with Quinn for Grommets and have his adenoids out.

Got to the hospital at 10.30 and then at 11.30 the school phoned to say I had to come and get Corbin…. He fell in class and hit his head on the table and got the side of his face and was feeling sick and had a huge headache so I went and picked him up and then went back to the hospital with him OMG OMG what a day…

So we got there at 10.30 and the operation didn’t happen till 3.15 and then he got out of the operation at 4.00 to go up to recovery and we left the hospital at 5.30pm OMG I hated the hospital and the wait wait waiting!!!!

Poor Quinn and also US - we didn’t have any food from 7am till 5.30 and we were naughty and got KFC for dinner as I couldn’t be bleep bleep cooking… I know it was wrong and I didn’t care as I had never had anything all day!! Not quite acurate I did care but Corbin asked if he could chose his birthday dinner and I tried my hardest to get him to go to Subway but got all upset and so I thought I would work my arse off tomorrow at the gym... but I am feeling quite upset that I ate it now...

So Quinn had his grommets in and they decided that he needed to get his adenoids out as well and I am glad because my poor wee man needed to be able to hear and he hasn't been for quite some time.

He keeps saying that we are talking too loudly and he said that the sliding door is making a funny sound and hubby said to him that it wasn’t making a funny sound it was just that he had never heard it before.

Also Quinn said that the cat was meowing too loudly and he was just purring he he he… he also apologized to Jeremy that he was shouting too loud and Jeremy said to Quinn “you aren’t shouting now you are talking normally” he just looked at Jeremy wondering if he was telling the truth.

I am glad today is over and I have the worst upset tummy from worrying about both my boys today and so today is over and that is good.

I have Quinn home tomorrow as he is not allowed to go to creche just in case he gets knocked or something like that so I don't get my day to sort out things again but that is ok... that's what you get in the big jobs.

I must say my hubby ROCKS... he took the day off sick to help me with Quinn at the hospital and everything and I know I wouldn't have survived this without him....

I honestly don't know what else to say.. I have lots to say about how I am feeling with my weight loss and with my exercise and other things today but I can't be fagged.. yep I know... scary aye.



Yep I know... not good food... a gain for me tomorrow morning... and I wasn't sabotaging Crusher... I wasn't... just that with the hell day I had honestly... I can't be bleep bleep he he he.

Goodnight everyone
Love CM

Wednesday, 30 August 2006

Not in a very good mood..

Not in a very good mood and I don't wanna talk about it tonight so here is my food and exercise today.

Went to the gym tonight did:

  • 15 minutes on bike
  • 3000 mtrs on rower (16:43 seconds)
  • Biceps
  • Triceps
  • 10 minutes Cross Trainer
  • 1000 mtrs on rower (5:30 seconds)
(felt like doing one more of my challenge to get it over and done with now I have only 2000mtrs to go)

Feeling quite sore now.

Avocado 1/2


Afternoon Tea
Vitagrain Biscuits
Cracked Pepper Pate (not a lot just a smear)

Mashed Potatoe

Tuesday, 29 August 2006

Feeling pumped??? - long post

Lean this morning (now ladies Crusher has changed the name which is taking me a while to get used to.

So this morning I was late... didn't really want to get up because my throat was killing me but I managed to get there even if it was 5 minutes late. Crusher was explaining what the challenge is for the next six weeks of the group which is:

12km Walk/jog/run
12km Bike ride
4000 mtrs Rower
50 Sit ups
50 Push ups

Ok... now this is frightening me a bit but I am going to try that is for sure.

There is going to be more people joining us and there will be two teams. One with Sgt Major and one with Crusher. But they are going to be swapping us around and we will change every week... hmmmm not sure about this.

Now don't get me wrong but Sgt Major is a nice guy but doesn't do it for me... he scares me a little because he doesn't say a word... if it feels like it isn't fun then I am not motivated and I don't quite get the guy (does that make sense).

I am realllllllly sure he is a nice person but when he talks etc there is like no emotion and it is making me a bit fearful as to if I want to do this.

I see the way he is with Kris and I don't work well with that... she sometimes seems pushed to the absolute limit when you can see it has gone too far for her.

I like the way I work with Crusher... she is bossy and she is pushy but she does it with a smile and is the only person I have ever wanted to work hard for.. I have had so many other trainers and I hated it!! I hated it with them as it wasn't fun anymore... ok so I have that out of my system... and please don't get me wrong I think Sgt Major is a lovely guy... but not what I want in a trainer.

This morning at MM8 it was full on.. we had to walk to the overbridge and go up and down it running and sprinting.. Well I walking at the start but when no one was watching I sprinted up the bridge. I did do some jogging today but wasn't going to push it with my knee.... it is getting better and I haven't had as much problems with it lately but I don't want to get it to the stage where I can't use it again either so I am taking it slowly. But I did try hard to push myself a little more today. It felt good that is for sure.

Today was the first day that I felt that the others at our group were getting away from me in the fact that I was the only one that felt slow... I know before today I didn't feel like that but I felt quite angry that I wasn't up to their level of fitness today. I know I have more weight on me but I have been working hard to get better and I do think that I am better than I was but the others have sprinted ahead... ya know, and don't take it the wrong way... they deserve to get ahead because they are great ladies and work damn hard.

Crusher said that we have to be positive.. so I suppose I didn't say anything because I wasn't feeling too positive today.

So anyway this morning I approached Debbie at work (she is a big girl like me) last week she said she would like my clothes when I lose weight. So I assume from that she thinks she is bigger than me... hmm not sure if she is bigger than me or a different shape from me. I said to Debbie that I reckon she should do this group challenge and she agreed only if she could afford it. So I talked to Crusher and she said for Debbie to phone her and she will sort something out... Woohooo it will be great to have another person my size in this doing this and I do believe that Debbie is the sort of person that will stick with it and really try hard and I suppose in a way it is a little bit selfish of me as I would like to have someone my size there too instead of all the fit people that I am feeling like are way out of my league at the moment.

I have to find a guitar teacher for Corbin in the next week as he has been bugging me like you wouldn't believe to learn the guitar.. I think I have been a little apprehensive because I am not sure if he will practice to get it right because when he finds something difficult he gives up and sulks... hmmm what to do... what to do!!!


Morning Tea
Berry Smoothie

Mini pita breads
Corned beef

Bacon and Vegetable Slice

Anyway after all that I am going to go and cook dinner

Love CM

Monday, 28 August 2006

Busy Busy Busy

Seems like I am always saying it aye... he he he busy busy busy

Went to work this morning but my mum wasn't well so I told her to phone me if she couldn't look after Quinn anymore and I will be at home.

About lunch time she phoned to say she wasn't feeling well so I came home (with work in my hand) and looked after Quinn while she went to bed. But... as you can imagine I didn't get much work done at all as Quinn just wanted to play play play.

Feeling quite sore today from the workout with Dee yesterday... my thighs and butt is so sore that when I get up out of my chair I cringe he he he.

Had a PT with Crusher tonight and she said that when she weighed me on Friday that I have lost (the reason she didn't tell me on Friday was because she didn't have her papers to check what my previous weight was).. so that is great.. I lost.. but to be quite honest she didn't say it but I don't think it was much of a loss as I haven't been that great with water or food in the last couple of weeks if I am honest..

So in my PT tonight Crusher told me my next challenge for this week and I have to do 4 sessions on the rower... 1000 mtrs, 2000 mtrs, 2000 mtrs and 3000 mtrs before next Monday... and tonight I did my 2000 mtrs soooo one down 3 to go YAYYY!!! We did other stuff as well but it was all good. The time goes really fast when Crusher is there that is for sure.


Morning Tea
Wasabi Peas

Mini Panini's
Corned Beef
Potato (left overs)

Afternoon Tea
Handful of Sohos


Getting a little nervous about Quinn's grommet operation on Thursday but it is going to be a good thing as Quinn soooo doesn't hear what we are saying sometimes. Last time he had them done he kept telling us to stop shouting.

Anyway going to go up to bed now.. I am buggered he he he

Love ya all


Sunday, 27 August 2006

Saturday and Sunday

Wow... weekend almost over!!!!

I have stopped properly all weekend.. What is new you ask WHEW glad it is Sunday night.


Went to Soccer at 9am this morning and it was the last soccer meet for the year.. it was a little sad but great because that means we have our Saturday's back..... it gets to this time of year and having only one full day in the weekend gets to be not enough. They won their game it was an intense game and the kids were like they were on fire. Hubby's mum came and my mum came and everyone in the team was there. I took like 300 photos while I was there so I can give it to the parents at the prize giving night. I was sooo proud of all of them that is for sure.

Got home and gave Corbin his birthday presents from us... (we already gave him singstar) but we gave him the other cd's to go with it and a fishing rod and a battleship game (one that is computerised he he he) and so we played that for about 2 hours it was fantastic. Two of Corbin's friends Cathan and Dion arrived at 12.00 and so they all went with hubby to get Mcdonalds for lunch and came back to eat it... and have his chocolate mud cake.. yummmmy.

Went to Hamilton sky city and played laser strike and hubby's brother turned up to play with us. One other friend of Corbins (Connor) met us at the laser strike... So we had to split in teams and it was CM, Uncle Chris (hubby's bro), Corbin and Connor on one team and Hubby, Cathan, Dion and Quinn in the other team... and Corbins team won woohoooo I must admit I was pretty damn good. I would never ever ever had played laser strike last year.. I would have stayed outside and thought I would be too big but it was fantastic and we all enjoyed ourselves.

Then after that we took them to play Ten Pin Bowling and my 4 year old Quinn won in his team and I won the other game he he he he it was a good afternoon but I am glad it is over and done with now because 5 kids is just a little too much for me he he he.

Went out for dinner with hubby later that night as mum thought it would be nice for us to get out. So we went out to an Indian restaurant and I think I did pretty well... didn't get myself too full and made sure I ate slowly.


What is it with me and busy days huh!!! Got up (out of bed that is) at 8am... got everyone showered and had breakfast and then I met the girls at the gym. It was the best workout I have had in weeks. I am glad I had time off this week with everything but the PT sessions because today I worked my backside off with Dee and Delwyn... they are fabulous on to it soooo motivated woman... I just love them.

15 minutes on cross trainer OMG OMG OMG woohooo 15 minutes all in one go.
Leg extensions
2x25 Squats with swiss ball
2x25 lay on back feet on swiss ball and lift bum off floor
2x25 doggy lifts backwards for backside
2x25 biceps
2x25 arms up to get shoulder blades
2x25 doing crunches at the same time lifting feet off the ground and knees towards head... OMG OMG I am sore with these.
10 minutes on the bike with the girls 30 second relax and 1 minute rpm 100 OMG OMG

Got home went for a bike ride with the boys to get some things from the shops... it was great we ended up doing 8km.

Got home and then went through our gardens in the front and got rid of some plants that didn't like the frosts much and ended up filling a garden bag full... he he he.

Went and did the groceries after all that..

WHEWWWWW... so glad that all that is finished now because my arms and legs feel sooo tired and I feel soooo tired and I am going to go to bed soon.

I have had 5 bottles of water today... I think I needed it aye!

I am watching NZ Idol at the moment... not sure if I want to get hooked into this again but with my music background I get hooked into it really easily grrrr. I get mad when people that are really good don't get into the final because they don't get enough votes... it bugs me like you wouldn't believe. Mind you I thought from the start that the girl that won it last year should have got it right from the start and I said that to my hubby...he couldn't believe that I predicted that as she was totally under the radar from the start... I got the gift he he he he.

Only 2 weeks and I am off to my other goal (up in my title bar) of quad bikes woohooo can't wait can't wait can't wait... and 5 weeks till our holiday in Wellington Wohoooooo I can't wait to meet all you ladies for the first and for the second time... it is going to be exciting that is for sure but then I am soooo nervous that I might be a little quiet too he he he. It is going to be so much fun getting together.

Going to bed now.. TIRED!!!

Love CM

Friday, 25 August 2006

TGIF - Woohoo

Had a great workout today.

Had most of the week off but had a PT appointment with Crusher and it sooo put me in a better mood. I think I have missed not doing exercise for the past 4 days.. OMG it has only been 4 days yet I felt like crap.

I managed to do a total 17 minutes on the cross trainer today woooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooo. Crusher worked my little backside off he he he Go Crusher!!

Went for a coffee at my local (he he he that sound great he he) with Kris and my mum. It was a nice cuppa!

Came home and made lunch it was yummmy and something different that I haven't had in such a long time.

Picked up Corbin from school and went to the Cheesecake shop (because that is where he wanted to have it from) to get his birthday cake.. and yep you guessed it was a Chocolate Mud Cake (with no cherries he said he he).

What a better mood I was in after doing a work out this morning that is for sure.

Only 2 weeks till I am going away for my birthday in Taupo for the Quad bikes woohoooo I cannot wait!! I cannot wait!! Feels like I am doing so much in the next couple of weeks but that is ok. I suppose it is better to be busy than bored out of my tree aye.

Anyway... for the food today...

2 Brown Bread

Morning Tea
2 Biscotti

Lavish wrap

Afternoon Tea

Spare Ribs
Mashed Potatoe
1/2 Moro bar with hubby (yep naughty but I felt like it hmph)

Big day tomorrow... so my update will probably be late he he

Love ya all

Thursday, 24 August 2006

I have had........

I have the worst headache this afternoon…
I have had enough of kids!
I have had enough of being a taxi!
I have had enough of telling people 6 or 7 times what I am trying to get across to them.
I have had enough of bills.
I am sick of the sinus infection I have!
I am sick of not being able to sit still without having to do something for someone or something.

I had a break from the gym this week and it was the worst thing ever. I have wanted to eat more at night time. I have wanted chocolate! I have missed talking to Crusher!! I think it is because she keeps me grounded… it is weird I know…. If I see her at the gym it reminds me to keep on track and to get this weight off.

I have been given two comments today on how great I am looking with my new three quarter jeans on and I must admit I feel great and I am wearing a size 20D bra at the moment (I have only just gotten in to a 22D and was soooo happy then).

It is Corbin’s birthday next Thursday and he is having his party this Saturday.. him and 3 friends are going to ten pin bowling and laser strike… OMG they are all looking forward to it. So anyway today I was supposed to go with him to find a cake for his birthday but I ran out of time. So I will have to do that with him tomorrow. I always make a cake for him but this year he said he wanted to get one from the shop… hmmmm maybe because the chocolate ones look soooo yummy and usually I won’t let him have it without it being an occasion etc he he he he.

5 weeks 3 days till I come down to Wellington OMG I cannot wait!!! I need a break from work and from my town!!! I want to get away.. I want to relax and it is going to be so much fun with meeting all the girls down there again and their families… they can keep my children today he he he he.

My work mates yesterday did a paragraph to me in our communication book that everyone reads that I should be really proud of myself for the Tough Guy/Gal challenge.. it was sooo nice and thoughtful.

I know I have to be more positive but finding it hard today!! Crusher said look for the positive and be positive… so I will try harder.. I just think I am coming down with something or that I am feeling exhausted after the last couple of months of doing so much.


Morning tea
2 Brown Bread


Rice Risotto

Tuesday, 22 August 2006


Feeling quite tired still after Sunday's Challenge.

Went to bed 8pm last night and tonight I am going to bed right after this.

I am feeling more positive now with the healthy lifestyle... I just can't believe that Crusher is so wanting to help me. I can't believe how she stuck by me on the Tough Guy/Gal Challenge... OMG she sooo stuck by me.

I can't believe that she was right with the getting the focus off the scales.. but I still want results ya know.. if I am not getting the results then what is the benefit of not telling me what I am losing or gaining? I still can't get my head around that.

Work was hectic today.... Food was ok!!

Still feeling quite exhausted so I will update with more tomorrow... sorry guys.. just tired with everything going on and everyone elses problems at work and other etc.... just exhausted and it is getting on top of me. I gotta stop it!

Crumpet Toast
Golden Syrup (1/2 tsp)

Morning Tea

Brown Bread
Left over Roast Beef
3 squares chocolate

Afternoon Tea

2 Chicken Drumsticks
Baked Potatoe


Sunday, 20 August 2006

Tough Guy/Gal Challenge Wohooo

OMG today was just amazing…

I don’t know how to describe it. It was the HARDEST thing I have ever ever ever done in my life and I am not convinced that I would do it again but I am glad I did it.

It took 2 hours and 2 minutes to do but it was worth everything.

I felt like lead the whole way around with all the mud and water attached to my bottom half but WOW…

Met some wonderful people that helped and everyone was soooo great.

CRUSHER was fantastic! She stayed with me the whole time and she supported me like you wouldn’t believe. She ROCKS!!!! I am so lucky to have her as my trainer and as a friend.


I decided it would be good if we had something that made us stand out in the crowd so I brought bright pink hairspray and bright pink face paint… OMG it was sooo much fun putting it on everyone. In the photo above Stephanie wasn't at all sure she should put the spray in her hair and so we convinced her and then after I had done it I said "OMG this isn't hair spray it is permanent hair dye" OMG she freaked out that is why I am laughing so much because I was having her on. We looked like pink teletubbies he he he and I couldn’t stop laughing while putting the pink on the face and hair.


Dee even put it on Michelle’s ears OMG she couldn’t believe it.


This is all of us at the start just after we got dressed.



Thought we would have a photo at the front of the ambulance just in case one of us got hurt then we had the photo already he he he just kidding.


This was a photo of just the men before they took off on their 10km challenge.


This was the social group (me he he) before they took off.. we didn’t get the other groups but that is ok… There was 1400 people on this challenge.


This is going on the first mud walk… OMG the amount of people and the amount of mud it was OMG OMG a lot.


Can you see the look on my face.. shear horror.


I am the last one in this photo… can you see my face? OMG I touched the fence and it was an electric fence and I didn’t know and thought that they would have turned them off BUT NO!!! ARGHHHHHH.


I am running down this hill… can you see the feet they are moving he he he… Crusher said “Come on girl lets run” it was great… for that moment anyway… he he eh


The lady behind me that I am helping we met along the way and she was impressed that my trainer was there with me… as her trainer couldn’t make it at the last moment (but she had a good excuse)… so we made some friends and when we got stuck then we helped each other out.



Can you see my face.. I couldn’t stop laughing as I couldn’t move my legs… they were stuck in the mud right up to the top of my legs and I just couldn’t manage to pull my legs out as Crusher said just before hand “Don’t pull on the rope just yet and I had to reach for it and then I went back and Crusher went forward” it was the most funniest part of the whole thing.


Determination on my face.. I was going to finish this.



They had boards going over to these floats and Crusher was dragging me along… OMG that was a scary thing and as we were going over them these BLOODY males decided to sprint along them and I almost went over the side… it was toooooo funny and scary. But I did it.

Now between these photos I did a rope bridge over water (where one rope was above and one below) and then we went under barbed wire for about 5 minutes crawling in the mud… I DID NOT like that much at all…



OMG can you see this bleep bleep bleep hill… It was the biggest hill I have seen in my entire life and there were ropes going up so that we had to pull ourselves up them… So hubby got a really good photo and he was like a mile away and using the telephoto lense.


I am running down that hill towards the finish line… I DID IT GUYS… I DID IT!!!!!


Now this photo didn’t turn out wonderful but I had to have one with me and crusher running to the finish.. the people were clapping and screaming and yahooing for us it was fantastic.. and I wasn’t last!!! I wasn’t last!!! !woohooooo


We finished


I am hugging Delwyn (my best friend…)…we made it!!! We did it!!! It was fantastic.


Hmmm the beer was great!!! Calories smalaories






Don’t we all look buggered!!! Yep yep yep… but I wouldn’t change a thing.. I LOVE THESE ladies


Mince Pie
Pinky Bar
(yep I know but what do you do when you are out on a trek like this??)

Roast Beef

Good night
Love CM

Saturday, 19 August 2006


Didn't wanna wake up!!!

Didn't wanna wake up!!!

Went to soccer today and the darling little boy were on fire I was soooo happy because they won their game against Huntly Woohoooo because last time we played them we had no energy and they slaughtered us... they are bigger and rougher than our boys. OMG one of the boys from their team was sent off because he pushed our STAR player right on his side with so much force when he had the ball and he went on his arm and sprained it. So the first half sucked for us... but our little STAR didn't let that beat him in the second half he got straight to it and the team worked so well together that they got 3 goals and the other team only got 1 woohooooo.

While we were screaming on the side lines (well while I was screaming he he he) one of the parents came up to me and asked me my last name and I told her and then I looked at her as if to say WHY? she said that she is nominating me for the support/coach/volunteer person in the waikato.. I said really?? she said "yes you are an amazing woman" OMG was my head big after that.. I thought I was a pretty terrible team manager he he he.. I was chuffed by it all and said thank you to her... OMG I have never had anyone do that for me EVER he he he..

Today was a pretty relaxed day as I have been a little down in the dumps thinking about tomorrow..

I have the Tough guy/gal challenge tomorrow and I am freaking out about it!! I am really freaking out about it but I know that these challenges that I do are making me a better person because without challenges I wouldn't grow in to a better person. I have to do this because I don't want to be the same old person that is scared of challenges because of what others think... I am now a person that tries everything. I think I have realised that since going up Mt Pauanui as I was afraid of heights but I did it!! I did it!!.

So tomorrow is it...

Vanilla Porridge
Brown Sugar

Morning Tea
Half a mini muffin with son

Homemade Lemondade scones

Afternoon Tea

Baked Potatoe

WW Homemade Cheesecake yummmy

Love ya all

Friday, 18 August 2006


I keep hearing the saying "keep positive" today.. .to be quite honest I want to strangle the next person that says it..

I do understand that keeping positive really helps but sometimes I don't want to be positive I want to feel exactly how I am feeling and not putting on a front. Why should we lie to others on how we feel.. if we don't want to do something or don't want to feel a certain way why should I because it makes others think something else...

Ok now I have that out of my mind!!!

Had a huge talk with Crusher, Kris and 2 other ladies at the gym last night and it was a good night. Crusher really pointed out that she is committed to helping us loose this weight and got us to think of things that were hindering us etc and the ways that can help us keep on track.

So this morning I had a talk with Crusher on my goals... now that word goals has always made me shiver..... I can't seem to find any goals that truly make me want to loose weight. I am not one for goals for weight loss.. now for other things like getting a house and having kids etc etc then goals are cool and I get it and I do it but.... yep there is a but... exercise goals and weight loss goals always suck for me!!! I mean I lost my first 20 kilos because a person told me I couldn't do it and so I did it.. but since that I have sucked with the loosing weight.

So anyway back to the subject Crusher and I had a talk and basically it came down to the fact that since the challenge with her and the 50 kilos I have realised that I like it when there is a challenge but I don't have any challenges that I want to achieve right now so Crusher is going to do my next six weeks of challenges... I have to have one a week so on Monday I get to know what the first challenge is....

OHHHH I forgot to note that Crusher weighed me and I had a loss she isn't telling me the amount from now on... and we have another understanding.. before last night she wasn't going to tell me if I lose or gain.. but now she will say I have lost or I have gained and if I gain and the next week I sabotage myself then she will not tell me my weight for 6 weeks... now sabotaging doesn't mean if I gain it means that if I go and really binge or really try and sabatage myself.. well that is what I got out of that anyway.

After my meeting with Crusher I went out to go on the treadmill and Kris said to me (with her trainer next to her) help me!! so I walked past her got some weights and handed them to her on the treadmill.. he he he he OMG that was sooo funny... so I helped her but not the way she wanted he he.

I have a verruca on the bottom of my foot and OMG I have been in so much pain with it for the last week because I have been taking this medicated pad on the bottom of it and the pain is horrible. I am tired of going on the treadmill and the bike and the cross trainer and feeling like I have to get off because it is sooooo painful. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Took my mum out shopping today too and that was ok.. I just really don't like shopping... getting quite sick of it really.

Walked to school to get my son with Kris this afternoon... it was a good walk.. a bit cold but it was good.



Afternoon Tea

WW Chicken Pot Pie made from scratch...
Hmmm lots of veges and soo yummy

Felicity... yes I am still planning the Wellington Trip will email you the dates. Looking forward to the dinner with everyone and their families... it is going to be so much fun.

Going to bed now.. I am tired and I need to get some sleep.

Love CM

Thursday, 17 August 2006

To weigh or not to weigh that is the question

I have been thinking so much today and I don't know if that is good or bad because I am getting myself in a tizz.....

Went to LEAN this morning and OMG Crusher worked us hard. Which is good but to be honest I have been feeling quite blah these last couple of days and exercise is the last thing on my mind. Crusher is giving us a week off this coming week because we haven't had a break from LEAN since February and we need it.

Crusher is such a darling she does really try to understand what makes bigger people tick but it must be hard. She said today that people are always telling her she is so skinny and it is hard for her to put on weight and OMG I can understand that would piss you off after a while just like when you are big...

But it is just the same for bigger people but in the fact that being skinny isn't frowned upon and she doesn't get the snyde remarks or the faces screwed up as if to say OMG you ugly over weight person.... It is hard for both and sometimes you don't know the other side until you hear it so it has made me think a little bit about that today.

This not knowing what my weight is is doing my head in and I know Crusher is trying to help.... but for me I started this journey because I wanted to lose weight... so how am I knowing that I am losing weight without knowing how much weight I am doing. This measure thing does my head in because my tummy is bleep bleep bleep huge that I don't think the measurements are true because of it going in different places each time.

I do understand what Crusher is thinking in the fact that it is making me obsess about the scales but I lost 20 kilos last year and I weighed every week... I didn't weigh every day like some people I know of.. I waited till the Tuesday WW every week and I weighed. It really makes me feel good to know I am achieving it and makes me achieve more ya know... I know that Crusher wants to change it for me to make me think that getting healthy is the main thing but it isn't easy to think like that.

The self esteem issues are the hardest... sometimes I get my self esteem up and I am feeling good and then one look in a shop window sideways and I end up hating myself again... at least with knowing I have lost 27 kilos it makes me realise that I have achieved something and looking in the mirror and seeing that horrible big person is just a temporary thing.

I am doing this to be healthy but for me I want the weight off and see those scale numbers in double figures and not in the disgusting triple figures they are now....and that is why I started the exercise and the healthier eating... it is hard to change that focus.... because to be honest it isn't what I want... yes getting healthy is a fantastic thing but losing the weight is going to get that!!! I know I know... I can hear you all now!! But the numbers going down is a huge thing for me and for 2 weeks I have not looked at the scales and I have tried really hard to eat the breakfast (as I hate breakfast) and I have tried to have the three meals a day and the 2 snacks a day and to cut out all the crap food... but I can't see results in the scales.... because I can't see the scales ARGHHHHHH and clothes are ok but if I lose just 1 kilo it doesn't show up in clothes ARGHHHHH I know I am going on and on aren't I...

Why can't I get around this in my head?

After LEAN this morning maybe I made a little of sense to Crusher or maybe it has made her think that four of us ladies are thinking the same and she wants to help? So she phoned me and Kris and two other ladies at the gym and we are all meeting at 6pm tonight... it will be interesting that is for sure.... I am a little nervous about what is going to happen tonight..

2 Crumpet Toast

Scallop Potatoes (left over)

Afternoon Tea

Pork Chops

I might update later with what happened with Crusher

Love Chubbymum

Wednesday, 16 August 2006

Compliments on Jeans

Felt quite positive today... I a got LOT of compliments today. I wore my new three quarter jeans that I brought with Kris last week and so many people were saying that they thought I had lost more weight and they had been meaning to tell me but haven't had the chance.. OMG my head was sooo big I was scared it was going to tip the car when I got in he he he he.

I don't even know if I have lost weight and to be honest I don't really feel like I have.. I am getting more and more annoyed with not knowing my weight!!! But I know I have to but it is doing my head in CRUSHER IF YOU ARE OUT THERE Hellpppppp.

So I think tomorrow is my weigh day because that was the last time I weighed in and so I am assuming Crusher will weigh me tomorrow. I know she isn't going to tell me what it is but hopefully she will tell me if it is a gain or loss PWEESEE.

Last night booked the motel for our Quad bike trip and I must say I am now soooooo much more excited than I was because it is feeling real now. I am glad that Kris and Delwyn and Crusher and the rest of the crew are coming as it is going to be fun that is for sure.

WW Sugar

Morning Tea

Rice Wafers
Tomatoe and Basil Tuna
Cottage Cheese

Afternoon Tea
Protein Bar


After the soccer this afternoon (which by the way was bloooody cold) but the day was fantastic.

Went to the Kickboxing class tonight where Crusher was working our backsides off.. I wasn't in to it tonight.. I went there in good intentions believe me but I just couldn't get any enthusiasm at all going.. But Crusher tried that is for sure.. it was good that we did it (hubby did it as well) and I was so proud of him because sometimes he won't do things like that as he is sooo un co-ordinated.

I am feeling quite tired.. think I have been doing too much of everything and I am a little worried about the Tough guy/gal challenge this weekend that is for sure. I want to do it but getting to the stage that I want to pull out too hmmmmm.

Going to bed now.. really tired.

Love ya all

Tuesday, 15 August 2006

2 weeks since weighing at WW

Had a good day today.. worked ho hum but went for coffee with a couple of the mums that have boys this afternoon... it was great even though the kids got a bit noisy and boisterous but hey they had fun (7 kids in total OMG).

I would be going to Weight Watchers tonight if I wasn't doing the Crusher Challenge... it feels soooo weird not to go to WW because I do enjoy the conversation and the leader so much and I think a little weird because I will not know for a month what my weight is..... it is doing my head in this week and I am wanting to go and find out if I have lost weight. I know this is what is best but not knowing is making me a little paranoid that I am not doing what I should... or maybe that I am eating too much. Or maybe I am gaining weight but my mind is saying ohhhhh girl you are doing good... why do our minds do that??? WHY WHY

I haven't heard anything from Crusher about my food... so we shall see... I suppose she will let me know if I am not eating the right thing aye. See there is the paranoia seeping in. HELPPPPPP me get over this!!

Hubby booked the Quad Bikes today woohoooo for the 9th September at 3pm it is going to be soo much fun.. Don't forget if you wanna join feel free to send me a message and come on it with us. It is going to be soooo much fun. So the only thing we have to book now is the hotel woohooo.

Anyway going to get boys in bed and then sit and read for a while as there is nothing on tv that I want to watch tonight and I want to have some time to veg and read my magazines with no interruptions.. hmmm bliss.


Morning Tea
10 Almonds
Wasabi Peas (small handfull)


Roast Beef

2 Sandwich Bread


Afternoon Tea








Aunt Betty's Delites

I am not sure who augly is but... augly I LOVE Wasabi peas!

Leighanne thanks hun for the comment... wasabi peas are peas dried and have wasabi cooked on the outside... they are rather wohooo on the nose if you get one with a lot.. it is the green stuff that people put on sushi with ginger etc. I don't have a lot but sometimes they are nice as a treat as I get sick of the same old same...

Always trying new things... is my motto. he he he

Love ya all


Monday, 14 August 2006

Birthday Nightmare

Had a busy day...

Can't be bothered writing...

Food is:

Berry Smoothie

Morning Tea
Crumpet Toast
2 Mandarins

Leftover Fetticine

Afternoon Tea

Little piece Birthday Cake

Went out to Cobb and Co for dinner.. didn't like the food!! Didn't like the little SHIT of a boy and really wanted to get home... and they stuck me next to the birthday boy and I wanted to throttle him all night because of his bad behaviour... Bad behaviour that you see on Damon the DEVIL!!!! and his mum did nothing.. stuff like flicking icecream across the table from a spoon and the mother laughing... OMG I wanted to take his head and smash it into the icecream.

So that was my night and I will never want to go to another birthday party of his...

On a good note my kids were BRILLIANT and they played nice and it was fantastic. I would take them again that is for sure.


Sunday, 13 August 2006

50 kilo walk challenge!!

Wow what a day...

Got up at 9.30am this morning and it was great to be able to sleep in he he he well sort of.. we were disturbed like 5 times before that.

My friend Delwyn popped around for a coffee and then she came for a drive with me to take my mum shopping and then to pick up my brother in law as he was stranded at a one night stands place he he he he and all we could do was give him hell about it... soooo funny.

Then got home to make WW muffins OMG OMG Corbin chose really well with these muffins.. they don't look that wonderful but they tasted DEVINE.

They are called Spinach, Feta and Sundried Tomato Muffins and they were yummmmmy.


After lunch we got ready to make our pasta with the new pasta maker.. we all had so much fun making the pasta... it was kinda like playing with playdoe and all the little machines to squish it he he he..



CM cooking

We had fun that is for sure!!! And it was sooo yummmy too that is for sure he he he.

Soooo.... here it is the final part of the challenge this week!!!

My trainer Crusher took up the challenge last week to walk with 50 kilos if I did 5 times on the Cross trainer for 10 minutes with arms and I succeeded in doing that and so today was the day that she had to get out there with the weight.

OMG I couldn't do it to her!!! I couldn't it was too much and she wouldn't have been able to carry the whole lot but she did carry 27 kilos... it was 15 kilos in a bag on her back and 12 kilos in hand weights. OMG she did it!!! she is such an inspiration I just cannot tell ya.. I am soooo proud to have her as my trainer... what a gutsy trainer she is SHE ROCKS It makes me even more determined to work harder and harder too. So anyway... she walked the 4 km's and others from Lean and my hubby and kids and Kris and her hubby and kids all turned up and walked the walk with her..

50 kilo walk group

We thought it was going to rain so we had rain coats on etc and it didn't rain!! It didn't rain until we had finished and got in our cars.

I carried one of the 6kgs hand weights for a about 4 minutes and it made me feel sooo heavy so I can imagine what it was doing to my little Crusher he he he..

Thanks Crusher as I know you will read this!! You ROCK!!


So now I am going to relax now and watch CSI woohoo

Honey, Porridge

Morning Tea
2 Crumpet toast
Golden Syrup

2 Spinach, Feta and Sundried Tomato Muffins

Fettucine (Chilli one and Garlic and herb one he he)
Tomato pasta sauce
(it looks a lot but I had a little bit of each to try)

Love ya all

Saturday, 12 August 2006

First day on Challenge

A busy day today but not much I feel I have done ya know.

Well today is my only day off for exercise and it was great wohooo.

Had soccer with Corbin this morning and took his friend to soccer too today as his mum was really busy with 2 other kids etc and her hubby was at work. They lost their game today... but they played really well but not well enough but it was a really firery game that is for sure.

Came home and got the grocery list together to go and get groceries!!! OMG I had grocery shopping that is for sure. We left at 12.30 and got back at 3.15.

Mum went out to a friends tonight so that is really good and we got invited for dinner to Corbin's friends parents place. It was a great night with talking and eating and it felt quite comfortable and relaxed. I really enjoyed it and would do it again that is for sure. The thing that sort of shocked me but didn't bother me was that they were totally christian OMG and I would never have thought that. Not that there was anything wrong with it but I wouldn't have thought that they were. We had a great conversation going about everything you could think of and my hubby and the other guy have quite a lot in common they are quite intellingent guys and our kids will be quite advantaged by that.. that is for sure.

I have a pretty relaxing day in a way even though we have done a lot.

OHHHH I forgot to mention my mum gave us our anniversary present today (our anniversary isn't till November he he he) but my mum cannot keep a secret for that long. Anyway she brought us a fresh pasta maker he he he. I have been wanting this for soooo long and so has my hubby. So tomorrow we thought we would spend some time with the kids (as they are excited) making our dinner for Sunday... hmmmm yummmy.

We have asked the kids to choose 2 recipes each from the Weight Watchers books for the fortnights dinners and so Corbin chose Sundried Tomato and feta muffins hmmmm so we have them for lunch tomorrow and he chose the passionfruit cheesecake hmmmmm and Quinn chose steak on potatoe rosti and apple pie... so it was great to have them chose some healthy food for us to eat knowing that it still was yummy but not as bad as other recipes. We are going to get them to help cook them as well. I want them to learn how to cook healthy and how to have all in moderation ya know. We don't have dessert normally unless it is yoghurt or fruit so this will be an exciting thing for them. I must admit it was great to sit down this morning and talk about the recipes they wanted and Corbin loved reading the ingrediants as well.

My food today:

3 Weetbix
Weight Watchers Sugar

Morning Tea

Corn Thins
Tomatoe & Basil Tuna
Ricotta Cheese (little spread)

Afternoon Tea

Roast Beef
Fruit Fondue
(went out for dinner but I was really good and didn't fill the whole plate and made sure that it was only on the inside of the plate and that I ate slowly so that I didn't eat a lot)

That is one day on my Challenge with Kris done!! I did really well with the breakfast especially when my mum was cooking french toast for the kids this morning and eggs for her.. OMG I soooo wanted to have a naughty breakfast but I was not going to break this Challenge. I have to have challenges to stick to so I get this weight off. A whole month of not having eggs etc for breakfast is going to kill me, but it will not beat me ha ha ha.

Going to bed now..

Love CM

Friday, 11 August 2006

Contract with No Quitter

I had Crusher for a PT today OMG she was out to kill me he he he.

Did the rower as a warm up and then went over to do straddles on the step rebok steps.. OMG and then push ups off the steps and then kickboxing hits and kicks and repeated it and then the cross trainer.. OMG I was done after that he he he sweating like a pig... he he he but I love sweating as it makes me feel like I have actually done something.

Kris was there with her trainer and we got to chatting and had quite a good time. After my half an hour with Crusher (which turned into 45 minutes that lovely lady!!) Kris and I did the water bikes for our arms and then I went and worked on my thigh muscles.. to make them stronger as I am feeling like they are working that is for sure.

After the gym I went home to get a shower and then met Kris for a coffee at Esquires and chatted for a while.

Kris and I have made a contract with ourselves he he he we needed another challenge as my challenge with Crusher finished today (on my behalf anyway as I have finished my 5 times 10minutes on the Cross Trainer and Crusher is walking with the extra kilos on Sunday.


So here is the contract:

We the undersigned hereby vow declare and affirm that we solemnly swear to
do the following:

Chubbymum Shall:
Everyday for the 4 weeks from Saturday 12th August until Friday 8th September
2006 shall eat a healthy breakfast consisting not less than 2 weetbix and milk,
or a Fruit Smoothie or Porridge or yoghurt and fruit. Skipping breakfast shall
not be permitted.

No Quitter Shall:
For the 4 weeks from Saturday 12th August until Friday 8th September 2006 shall
refrain entirely from any form of junk food including but not limited to KFC,
Burger King, Pizza (not including homemade), McDonalds, Bakery’s, Subway,
Fish and Chips, Coffee Shop Muffins and Cakes. Plus at least 20 days of healthy
eating, during the four week period.

Both of the above mentioned parties shall diary their food intake for the entire
period on a daily basis. (Blog your food).

Support crew consisting of husbands and children signed below will cheerfully
agree to nark on their wife/mother for any infractions to the above.

The rewards for successful completion of the above Challenges are as

No Quitter will purchase for herself a pair of size 16 jeans from Farmers

Chubbymum will purchase a new outfit for her birthday dinner.

Penalty clauses are as follows:
Anybody defaulting on the above challenges shall purchase for the other party
a Power Dip Lotto Ticket.


My food for the day is:
3 Weetbix
Tsp Equal

Morning Tea
Protein Bar

Chicken Panini

2 Hamburgers (homemade)
It is my takeaway night and we make a takeaway at home.

Anyway it is getting late.... gotta get some sleep.

Love Chubbymum

Thursday, 10 August 2006


I have been tagged by Cactusfreek

Here are the rules: The player of this game starts with "5 weird things/habits about yourself ". In the end you need to choose 5 people to be tagged and list their names.

The people who get tagged need to write a blog about their 5 weird things/habits, as well as state this rule clearly, then tag 5 more victims. Don't forget to leave your victim a comment that says "you're tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

ARGGHHH I hate these sorts of things because I can never think of what to write.

What do I have that is weird.... hmmmm

Number One:
I am addicted to talcum powder... I have to have it when I get out of a shower and feel all sticky if I don't have it after a shower.. Hubby gets mad because even though I put it on on a towel it gets everywhere and so I am forever dusting too he he he...

Number Two:
I love Bacon, Peanut Butter and Banana sandwiches (but admit that I haven't had one in a year and that is the truth).

Number Three:
I have a dent in my forehead and so I have always got a fringe so that no one can see it.. so if you ever see me ask me and I will show he he he

Number Four:
One of my thumbs bends back and one thumb doesn't.

Number Five:
A little bit of a copy cat from CactusFreek in the fact that I was 9 years old on the 9th Month and 9th Day of 1979.

I hope that is weird enough for you all he he he

So I suppose I have to tag 5 people too SORRYYY GUYS.


Ok so food today is:

2 Wholemeal Bread
Chopped Egg

Morning Tea
Dark Chocolate Mocha Drink
(went out with Kris for a coffee)

Sushi 6 pieces
(with Kris as well he he)

Spaghetti Bolagnaise
Wasabi Peas

I also drank all my water for today... shock horror or what

I went shopping with Kris after lunch and went to Farmers OMG OMG I know I haven't lost any weight but my measurements have surely gone down and I went and tried on some three quarter jeans... you know those trendy ones that are stressed had have like little pull marks on it he he he and I tried on all of them and they all fitted and the ones that I like the most I brought in a size 24 OMG jeans are really unforgiving on me because they don't have stretch etc so getting into a size 26 has NEVER happened because they just don't go over my tummy... well I got into a size 22 and they fitted but I don't like tight clothes so I decided to go for the 24 and they were a little baggy in the legs but the tummy was comfy and I was happy.

Kris wanted me to take the size 22 and she kept saying to get out of my square but I still don't like things too fitting ya know... he he he but I was soooo happy that I wore them to school and got SOOOOO many compliments you wouldn't believe... it was great.

I will get hubby to take a photo to show ya he he he.

Anyway I went in to my LEAN class this morning and did a fitness test he he he he and I went up 2 points he he he wooohooo which means my fitness is improving and Crusher was soooo pleased and so was I.... but then I asked her to weigh me.

I am not too sure if she was happy with me asking that but I needed to know what damage I had done with all that takeaway and biscuits from last week and I gained a kilo but that is ok... because I am not allowed to know my weight for 4 weeks. I am back on track and I am not going to let this beat me and Crusher said that if I sabotage my food again then she will Kick my Butt and she said "don't think I wouldn't know" I said how would you and she said because I will phone Jeremy and make sure he he he so that scared the shit out of me he he he.. I would not lie... it is only harming me.

So I have completed 4 out of the 5 cross trainer challenge and now I have only 1 to go and Crusher has to take the 50 kilos on her back for a walk with me he he he (let's hope the walk is a slow one for a change he he).

I am sooo looking foward to my birthday.... I am going to Taupo to do the Quad bike ride (now look up top on my banner!! it is one of my goals) so it is going to be sooo exciting.

Delwyn my friend from LEAN that I have been spending so much time with and Crusher (mayber her hubby and neice), hubby and two other ladies from LEAN (are still getting back to me) are wanting to go too. So hopefully I can book it by the end of next week!! I hope we can reserve enough bikes.

It is going to be a fun weekend.

I even walked to school this afternoon (which is about 15 minute walk) and home with the kids.. it was a great afternoon for a walk in the sun... yep sun but I can't say it was warm just that it was a nice day he he h

I might update later byeeee


Wednesday, 9 August 2006

Why sabotage?


First day off Weight Watchers and on with my trainer (and we shall call her Crusher from now on he he he).

Crusher phoned me this morning and she has told me that I am meeting with her twice a week from this Monday onwards. OMG that is soooo good. She keeps me sane and I enjoy doing exercise with her. She is easy to talk to and I know that she wants to help me.

Went to the gym tonight and did a Kickboxing class and then I went on the cross trainer for 10 minutes with arms as I still have this challenge with Crusher. I have only got 2 more to go before Sunday woohoooo.

I am happy with my decision of leaving WW for a month that is for sure. I just have to get my feelings right and focus on loosing this weight. I have had the major sweet tooth in the last week. Why am I sabataging myself? I want to do this!!! I just have to focus!!!

I have to do this as well because Crusher is putting so much faith in me that I am going to do this. I have for the last year... I have to aye!

Woohoo I am off for the next two days and going to meet Kris for a coffee tomorrow.

I am planning my birthday at the moment. I am going Quad Bike riding!!! in Taupo and I cannot wait.. if any of you guys want to join me then email me as it would be good to have a group doing it with me. I am going to make the most of this weekend and soooo looking forward to it.

Anyway I am going up to have a spa bath and go to sleep as I have my LEAN class tomorrow with Crusher!!! ARGHHHH I am sore enough now let alone after tomorrow's session.

So today's food is:

Banana Berry Smoothie

Morning Tea
Fruchi Yoghurt

Corn Thins
Tomatoe and Basil Tuna (little tin)
Cottage Cheese

Pork Chop
Homemade Rice

Good night everyone
Love Chubbymum

Tuesday, 8 August 2006

First day of the new life

OMG it is becoming a habit these blog entries he he he

I am back in the swing of updating.

Do any of you get to the computer and think... "What on earth can I write in here that is interesting that someone will read?" I think that is what has been putting me off writing lately... it is the thought that why would anyone want to hear my drivel.

Thank you for your lovely emails re the last post you don't know how much I have appreciated them... and the comments.

I have made a decision... well my hubby made the decision for me. I am going to give up WW for 4 weeks but in 4 weeks I will go back no matter what because I still feel that WW got me to where I am today but I need something a little different to get me out of the plateau zone... it is not saying what so ever that WW isn't right it is just saying that I am tired of paying for weighing in and knowing that it isn't doing anything for me... 6 months of doing this is doing my head in.

I haven't had a long talk with my trainer as yet as she has been a bit busy this week but that is ok... I know that she will support me for the 4 weeks to see what changes we can make to give me a kick. I mean others do it...!!! why can't I and I try so hard and I am going to try so hard so it is going to work.

So I didn't go to the WW meeting tonight and OMG it felt like I was skipping school or something it was the weirdest feeling. Hubby was laughing and I kept saying "am I doing the right thing? and I doing the right thing" he said without a doubt you are doing the right thing. He said he has faith that Crusher is going to support me and is going to get this weight off or centimetres however she sees the loss. It is hard changing your perception of things when for so long it has been focused on the scales and not the measurements.

So my day SUCKED.... he he he now you didn't think I would say that did you. I felt pressured all day!! Went to LEAN this morning and walked up the Harrowfield hill 5 times and then took the long walk back... I tried my hardest to walk faster than I normally do but I was feeling it in my other knee today.. not the one that usually gives me trouble. I was determined to do this exercise session at a level 7 or more.. I think I managed to get almost to a 7 but when I am walking I just don't feel the urge to go to the limit... I hate it with a passion that I have to walk at others speeds (which is usually faster than me he he he).

Got a shower and then got to work at 7.30am... then at 8.30 I had to take my Corbin to school and pick up Quinn for the Dentist. Now I haven't slept properly all night thinking about the Dentists appointment. Especially since it is going to cost us $1,500 arghhhh!!

When I got there it was just like hubby said and the lady was fantastic with Quinn and he trusted her like you wouldn't believe.. it is amazing if you treat kids as you are one yourself how they react... he was watching Postman Pat on the tv up above. So he had a filling and then she used the laughing gas on him to take the tooth out OMG the way she was yanking the tooth out was like... arghhh my heart was pumping. I thought he was going to scream but he didn't the laughing gas and the injections worked a treat. I was sooo proud of him.. he was more calm than I was that is for sure.

She gave him a medal and a little tooth to put his tooth in.. to hang around his neck.. it was soo cute.

Got back to work and had so much work to catch up on because this is my invoicing week as well as that I have to send out like 400 invoices to the parents ARGHHHH was feeling quite stressed.

Other things happened today too.. a friend emailed me today with concerns and so I had to sit down and think about how I was going to write how I was feeling without it coming out the wrong way because it needed to be said and to be quite honest I was probably not in the right mood to reply so I am glad it didn't come across in the wrong way.

I have a bit of a headache at the moment.. so I am going to go to bed after NCIS... which is an interesting show tonight but a bit too gory for me.

Love ya all

Monday, 7 August 2006

Thoughts inspired by Bob and Oprah Winfrey

I basically have access to a computer mostly everyday... so I thought I would start writing how I am feeling about food. I have been reading Oprah Winfry and Bob's book (I got it off trademe woohoo) and it makes sense and with the past couple of days of CRAP food!!! which I cannot understand why I would do it as it wasn't that good.

I was feeling quite depressed about the Crap feeling of how much I had eaten this weekend that I texted my trainer and she said she would phone.. so sometime today it will happen (as this lady is soooo busy) but I am pleased that I txted her because then it made me think WTF... ya know!!

What am I doing to myself? Why can't it be easier.. I read the other day about a lady that lost 30 kilos in 30 weeks and all I could think of was BITCH!!! how could she loose that.

I emailed my hubby about whether I should give up Weight Watchers for 6 weeks and his reply was "Its worth a crack & it’ll probably help if you pick one horse & ride it for a bit rather than jumping between two like you have the last few weeks(meaning Crusher and Weight Watchers)"

The jumping and trying to make both fit is doign my head in quite frankly and I think that is why I felt like I binged in the weekend.

Anyway I will update later.. I just needed to write it down as I have to get ME sorted.


It took me till 12.00 today to realise it. I was all prepared to get my backside in the car and go to the shop and get a V and something nice to eat.. WHY??? I don't need them and I didn't feel like it. So I parked on the side of some factory shops and read the Oprah Winfrey book and thought that this Bob guy is SOOO on to it and it is what my trainer says as well.

I am proud that I didn't go and get the other food. I can't say I am proud of my food today but after lunch it has made me more determined.

I have a problem with bread.. it is easier for me for breakfast and for lunch that sometimes I just want it.

Well today's food

2 Toast
Left over roast beef
(eaten on the way to work as I was late)

Morning Tea
Protein bar (because nothing in the fridge satisfied my crap craving)

2 Roast Beef Sandwiches.

So basically started off bad.. but!!!! Yep there is a BUTT!!!

I have thought about dinner it is going to be a skinless chicken salad (homemade)... with lettuce, tomato, onion, mushroom, pickles, cottage cheese (low fat of course), sunflower seeds, pumpkins seeds and low fat dressing...

I was really proud of myself 2 weeks ago when I started the No Count and then when I gained the MEASLEY 100 grams it put me off.. it made me feel that with all the hard work I still gained and it got me the wrong way. I CANNOT let this beat me!! I just can't.

I know ladies I have said this so much in the last 6 months but I have come to think this is a lifestyle change and all in all I would have gone out and made it worse but I didn't today.. and that is a change. I haven't brought takeaways in such a LONGGGG time and I hated myself for the whole weekend because of it and really it was making me worse.

I just want this so bad!!!

I am considering leaving Weight Watchers and totally putting my hands in Crusher's care with the exercise and helping me with the food.... but I am scared... I have such great support from Weight Watchers but I just feel like the habit of WW is not enough anymore and I need to change something to make it work.

Sometimes I feel that I am with Weight Watchers because I want it to be known that I have lost all this weight with them and one day I will be in the magazine.. but is that really enough of a reason to stay with them?

I don't know what to do!! I am sooooo torn with this!!

I focus on the weight and not on the fact that in the last couple of weeks doing the PT sessions with Crusher has made me more confident in myself than I have been in a while.. I agree with Crusher in the fact that I should take the focus off the scales and focus on the overall centimetres lost and my health.. it is just hard to change that focus!! It is really hard to give up a support system that I have had for a year and a half and try something new... what if I go back to gaining the weight again and get right back up to 153.7 kilos or more again...


Decided to get out of my mood and to get my butt to the gym. In the Oprah/Bob book it says to work out at a level 7 or 8 and that you should be sweating and also to work at that level for 20 to 30 minutes.. WEELLLL tonight I went to the gym... quite bloated and moody and worked my butt off.

Bike: 15 minutes level 3 rpms 90 (1 minute full on and 1 30 secs easy)
Treadmill: 10 minutes at 5.5 even though my trainer said I could do level 6. The reason being I wanted to push myself on that and do an incline of 3.
Rower: 10 minutes sort of racing against my hubby as he was doing it beside me.
Cross Trainer 10 minutes with my arms... woohooo only 3 more to go to get Crusher walking with 50 kilos on her back (poor thing).
Crunches4 x 20 situps...
Arm Weights 4 x 15

I look back on it and think God that isn't much but I worked it to at least a 7 on my scale today wohoooo.

Came home and had a really nice Chicken Salad... sooo full now.
Love CM

Sunday, 6 August 2006

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Confession time.

I have had a bad 3 days eating OMG I have been soooo good in the last couple of weeks and to tell you the truth I just wanted a blow out and I shouldn't have because when I do it goes WAYYYYY out of proportion (scales wise).

So friday we had pizza for dinner... I chose the thin crust pizza instead of the thick crust... hmmm not sure if that makes much difference but hey.

Saturday I had a chocolate macaroon with a coffee on our date day.

Today we made ginger crunch with the kids and I had 2 pieces... 2 2 2 pieces.

So all out a blow out on points but I needed it..

Today has been a really great day doing nothing nothing nothing and we had Corbin's friend Cathan over and his little sister... it was a good afternoon as the four of them get on so well. We played playstation eye toy and dancing and they played in the playroom. All in all it was great.

I wanted to stay in my pj's for the whole day but couldn't really because of the kids friends coming over ho hum.

As you all know my mother lives with us... I said to her this morning that the kids were having friends over and she packed her little controlling face like OMG how rude you should never have anyone over at all (now I will let you all know this is MY hous not hers)... anyway so I said well they are coming over and kids need to have friends so if she doesn't want to deal with them she can always stay in her room... OMG so she stayed in her room THE WHOLE DAY..... sometimes I think she does it because she thinks it will ruin my day... so that she punishes me.

We don't even invite people around anymore. Before Dad died and she came to live with us it was great to be able to have friends over and have dinner and play cards etc... and since she started living with us we don't associate with anyone unless we go out for dinner with them... It is starting to really grate on me. I left home because of her controlling everything I do and after 10 years of living on my own she is living with me... maybe it is my punishment hmmm...

Now don't think I don't love my mum I do but she is 75 years old and just because she has had her life it doesn't mean my life is over with and I have to sit watching tv for the rest of my life ya know, I want to have friends come over and I want to meet new friends...

Ok that is my bitch session over.


Saturday, 5 August 2006

Corbin got a goal

It was Soccer day again today and we went to play....

The boys were playing soooo well!!! They were passing the ball to their team members and not hogging it all to themselves.. but OMG Corbin got his FIRST goal!!! I was sooo proud of him shouting like you wouldn't believe and so were the other parents. Corbin's face was like the cat who got the cream he was smiling from ear to ear and he also got player of the day... because he got the goal that saved it being a drawer it was fantastic!!!

I am soooo proud of him!

We had a fabulous time at the game and when we got back my mother in law took the boys from 11.30 on a bus trip and out to lunch woohooo and my mum said to us that we should go out and have some time together and she will look after the boys when they come back from their other nana's..

OMG we left at 1.30 after lunch and didn't come back till now 9.00pm... We went to Whitcoulls in town and got a couple of books and then went to a coffee shop and read our books and had coffee... we went to the movies after that. Went and saw Pirates of the Carribean 2. It was ok full on movie but a bit gorry for me.

Then we went out to dinner at a Japanese restaurant... I love Japanese because I am going out for dinner but it isn't a bad dinner as it is mostly rice and chicken and no creamy sauces etc. I can see now why most Japanese people are skinny that is for sure.

It is amazing how doing something for us is soooo relaxing. I feel refreshed....

Love ya all

Friday, 4 August 2006

Crusher and 50 Kilos

Wow what a week it has been

I was a little upset about the 100grams gain but have slowly come to the conclusion that it is ok. I think I was upset not because of the 100 grams but because I had tried so hard.

On Thursday morning my trainer (I am going to call her by our nick name for her Crusher from now on) measured me and I had lost almost 3cm over my whole body so HEY it is making me look slimmer he he he so that is good.

Crusher is intent on getting me off Weight Watchers and getting me to loose this weight this weight... I am scared to do that.. I am scared to do that because I do get a lot out of the Weight Watchers and the support I get from my leaders is fantastic. It scares me a little because every time I have left Weight Watchers I have gained the weight back.

I am not sure... scared really I think!!

I suppose the money that I don't spend at Weight Watchers I could spend to get an hour training or something hmmm not sure if it would cover that either. I think also the thrill of getting to goal and being able to go into the slimmer of the year is something that I want to achieve as well ya know.

So anyway today.... I had an appointment with crusher at 10.00 but mum wanted to go to bingo and I said I couldn't because of my appointment... OMG she looked sooo dissapointed she couldn't go (as she is always at home because she can't drive) that I phoned crusher and asked if she would take me a half an hour earlier and she did SHE IS JUST THE BEST I can tell you. I feel so comfortable with this woman and probably wouldn't go and do what I am doing if it wasn't for her.

So anyway.. again I am saying this he he he...

I sent an email to Crusher last night saying the following:

Also… I want to do an experiment with you!!
(smiley's galore here but I can't get diaryland to show them he he)

If I do the cross trainer 5 days a week for 10 minutes with arms (as a challenge) and if I do that for a week then you go around the block with me but the condition is to wear a bag with 50 kilos kilo’s in it..

Now... be aware that I don't usually do 10 minutes fully with arms it is usually 1 minute off and 1 minute on.

Which won’t put you up to the equivalent of my weight but I would like to see how you do with the extra weight going around the block.

I need a challenge to work towards and I thought this would be fun… what do you think would ya do this for me???


Now... the reason I want to do this as I want her to realise how hard it is for me to do some of the things that the others are doing... like going for our 4km walk Crusher walks with me (which is fantastic that she cares) but she walks like... OMG like I would be running he he he and so I want her to feel what going at that speed is like with the extra weight that have compaired to her...

I know she knows that it is harder for me with the extra weight but sometimes showing is more for me so that she understands...

Anyway he he he she said yes with a smile on her face and she was thinking OMG what have I got myself in to... he he he he he Crusher it is going to be interesting... he he he. It made the personal training go so fast today. I said to Crusher "Did you realise that 50 kilos is like 5 big bags of the 10 kilo potatoes and she looked at me and for the first time I could see the fear he he he... I just love this lady..

So my workout today was
- 5 minutes on the bike to warm up
- Up and down the stairs 4 times and in between 10 push ups on the stairs... that was sooo hard today.
- 10 minutes on Cross Trainer with arms
- 10 minutes on the Rower and Crusher was pushing me hard BITCH he he

When I read this workout it doesn't seem like much but when Crusher is standing there I do more work and I was sweating like a pig... it was fantastic.

So that is 1 out of the 5 Cross Trainer challenge gone and 4 to go!!! Wohooooo.

Anyway have a good night everyone


Tuesday, 1 August 2006

Third in a row (cross fingers)

Ok so I haven't been updating like should because I have to send an email to my trainer every night with the food I have eaten and what I am feeling while I am eating the food.

I am doing a food plan that she has given me... (with a couple of changes depending on what is happening in my life)...

Anyway went over to her place last night to talk about the problems I am having... the main one being that I am feeling soooo full and that I am constantly shoving food in my face and I finish one meal and then the next is on my backside... so we have made 5 small meals a day instead of 6 and combined my two morning snacks together... so I started that today and it has been much better. I thought I might put my food etc up on here every night too so that I can keep a record of it too... so if you all don't mind reading it as well here goes:

8.30 am
Pumpkin Bagel
I enjoyed having the bagel... something a little
different. It was quick to put in the toaster as I started work at 7.30 and
needed to eat something before starting or I would have been a nightmare.. now
see I am changing my views on breakfast hmmmmm interesting isn't

Morning Tea
9.30 am
Mixed Berry Smoothie
Felt quite full with having a smoothie and the
glass of water.
I think I am finally getting the hang of being soooo full in the mornings but not sure if I still like it.
I am really worried about whether I will lose or not tonight at Weight Watchers because I do feel like I have been eating way way way too much food he he he but then again we shall see that is
for sure.

Chilli Con Carne
Enjoyed the Chilli Con Carne today… I didn’t
feel so stuffed today like yesterday but still really full! I think I am learning
how it feels with a full tummy… Weight Watchers always talks about thinking
about how full or empty your stomach is and I could never really tell when I
was hungry or full etc and now I am feeling the fullness that I don’t
like and how much I have to eat to get to that.

I will put in the dinner tonight as well as tell you how I did at Weight Watchers. I have been sticking to the food plan and doing all my exercise this week... 6 days of exercise this week and I am totally over exercise this week he he he even though I am feeling good about the exercise and about the food (sort of the food) but I don't feel like tonight I will lose... I feel quite bloated and not altogether happy that I will lose... which I know sounds bad but after talking to hubby I think we have come to the conclusion that because I am eating more it will take a week for my body to get used to the extra nutrician in my body... but I will update later.

It would be FANBLOODYTASTIC to have three weeks of losses but I can't have everything that is how I see it this week.

Catch ya all later
Love Chubbymum

Ok so I am a little dissapointed with the result but I gained 100 grams (I know you are all going to say it is only 100 grams) but I worked SO DAMN HARD this week with making sure I kept to my trainers food menu and I worked out at the gym for 6 days... I really wanted this to work. I mean it worked for the other lady that was doing this and she lost 1.5 kilos... why didn't it work for me.

I went home and was all upset and I could see it in my friends face (that goes to WW with me) that obviously I wasn't good or I would have lost... when I got home even my mum said "OMG no you did so well that isn't right" and my mum doesn't stick up for me at all unless she can see it ya know. I could tell my friend was thinking OMG girl it is only 100grams but when you know you have worked hard and exercised hard then it is gutting to gain. I MEAN I REALLY TRIED!!!

So I thought ok I am going to take that whole menu and point it.. on the menu was all good food and not much meat and hardly any bread so why the hell would I gain (please don't say muscle OMG I hate that excuse).

So the points!! OMG when I pointed it and made sure I got every single piece of food etc it was like averaging about 28-30 a day OMG OMG no wonder and I was feeling soooo bloated... I am pleased that I had stuck to this plan but it just needed some tweeking and OMG if another lady (who is just as big as me) would lose that amount then surely I can... but it wasn't right for me.

I really think my trainer was trying to help and when you look at the menu plan you can see it is all healthy but there was just too much... so last night I spent 2 hours on it tweeking it so that the points were within my points and took it down to 5 meals a day and put some other stuff in there so it was not so high in points.

I am pleased with it so I am going to try it out from today and BOY IF I GAIN NEXT WEEK SO HELP ME GOD. If I do then it is back to No Count because I did so well with it.

Hubby and I were talking last night lots because I was so upset and he said that my body is the strangest body ever... he said it like this "Last year you would have all this crap food and NO EXERCISE whatsoever but you didn't gain that much, I mean you went to weight watchers and then left and in two years you only gained 2 kilos so how on earth can you gain when you are trying so hard now and you are doing exercise" I totally agree with him... it doesn't make sense.. my body just sucks!!!

I want this so bad!!! I have 3.3 (now) to get to 30 kilos and I feel like it is going to take forever!

I thank my trainer sooo much as she is trying hard to keep me motivated and she sends fantastic txt messages to me to keep my spirits up and OMG just everything she is trying but I think the food menu this week just wasn't for me. I must admit I did feel too full for most of the day and my tummy was telling OI YOU NO!!

So watch this space guys it is going to happen.

On another note... I think not posting on here isn't helping me anymore as I was losing when I was updating and getting comments and reading other people's blogs and I have dwindled and it isn't good... so I have put in my diary that I have to update at least every second night until I am back in the habit again. I sometimes feel that no one is really that interested in my boring day so why write about it.. but if it is helping me lose the weight then if they didn't want to read then they wouldn't so I am just going to write anyway he he he.

Anyway better get some work done as I am updating this from work he he he.

Love CM