GEESH

This weekend was ok.  I had two friends that I haven't seen for a while come down and stay for the night and one of them brought her toddler down. 

They are nice ladies don't get me wrong but OMG I got sick of hearing all the moans and groans.  I was exhausted by the time they left.  I was wanting and wanting them to go home.

I know they are friends but a whole 24 hours with them was not for me.  I am mentally exhausted now from having to listen.  One of them has a knack of keeping her conversation going even if you try and get it to another conversation it ends up where she gets back on the conversation you weren't even interested in.  OMG she thinks her toddler is like the most intelligent child on the face of the earth. 

I get that.... I get that you want to believe your child is the most intelligent being on this earth and that no one has done this before.  She has had 3 children that are like 10 years older and more than this child.... but she said "I just don't know how she knows how to use the cellphone she just picks it up and knows how to use it" but the child is going to know how to use a bloody cellphone if you are on it for 24 hours of the day, she watches you on it enough.  We were eating dinner and instead of having a conversation they were both on their cellphones living a life on facebook...... well isn't it better to live a real life instead of a life online????

Ok enough moaning.  ENOUGH MOANING

Went to the gym today. 

Hubby gives me a goal at the gym and I try to achieve it.  So I had to get to 300 calories burned within 30 minutes and I did 306 calories in 26 minutes and 17 seconds.  We thought it would take 30 minutes so that wasn't so bad at all. 

The we did a 20 minute class on our core.... with swiss balls, weights and OMG the abs are feeling sore now lol.

Finished reading my book club book "Stonemouth" by Iain Banks too.  Can't say I loved the book but I didn't hate it either.  I was just annoyed with the fact that some of the stories within it didn't really finish.

I went over in points today but the exercise covered that.

Hubby and I have organised what the food is for tomororow and pointed it already so we shall go from there.

Sorry about the waffle tonight just needed to get it off my chest.

Good thing about today was my friends went home early and I got to spend time with the hubby and kids.  Going to the gym with hubby is great and I do love it once we get there :-)

Weigh In

Well I lost 2.1 kgs woohoooo

I got to the first goal as per previous post.  I got my $50 woohooo.

So roll on 136 to get the second $50

So glad.

Only a small update tonight as this week is getting behind me.

Yayyyyy

Holiday was fantastic

Where do I start?  Been on holiday from work for a week woohoooooo and had a great relaxing weekend.  Admittedly I did still check my work emails and do some things I didn't do much else because I needed to have this time to sort me out.

The weekend was terrible food wise but great exercise (last weekend) my best friends 40th was great and it was fantastic to get away with J for the weekend and leave the kids behind with mum.  Had a ball of a time.

This week has been just doing what we want and chilling but no sleepin in sigh because we still took the kids to school and took mum out shopping.  Brought 2 new tops and a jacket in Wellington,  and brough 3 tops and a gym jacket when we got home and J darling hubby decided to treat me and brought me a smart phone woohoooooo. 

I used to have this:

but now I have this:

Woohooo this is the best phone ever.... I mean EVER.  It does everything and is like a little computer with me all the time and it has Nokia Drive (GPS) hubby a little jealous of that but that is ok.  I can't get off it.  I am reading on it and on facebook OMG I am just in heaven.  I usually get the second hand phones not the good ones that cost too much lol.

Taught my card class last night and got some money from that and had such a ball of a time I taught new things and we also had some time to just play around with new ideas it was fantastic.

Went to Te Awamutu for Q's soccer and went with the MIL and that was ok.  I always feel like this woman hates me.  She probably doesn't but the other sister in law (to be) is just the bees knees at the moment and I am sooooo sick of hearing about her and my wonderful nephew (nothing against my nephew just the bag of a mother) my nephew is cute (just sick of hearing how wonderful he is from my MIL)

Went through all my clothes in my closet today OMG 2 hours for that and got rid of clothes I was keeping just because I hadn't worn them much and was keeping the ones that were too small too so it made me feel like I was never going to get there.  Put the small clothes that I liked or couldn't wait to get in to in a box at the back of the walk in cupboard and got rid of old clothes and now I am feeling better and the cupboard is looking fantastic.

Did a lot of soul searching in the week with hubby because we had time without the kids and mum and have a plan happening with "Making myself my hobby". 

• I have booked in with our gym for a 4 week boot camp (that doesn't cost us anything more omg that is fantastic) and it will be Monday, Wednesday's and Friday's for a month.  Will be a bit hard on a Wednesday but that is ok. 
• Tracked on the online Weight Watchers tracker every night before the next day so I am aware of what I am going to be eating the next day.
• Going to allow for treats now and then so that I don't feel deprived.
• Every 2 kgs hubby is going to give me $50 but if I gain I don't get another $50 until I have lost to the next 2 kgs.  So I went up to 140 kgs over the weekend away grrrrrrr so next Wednesday I need to be down and keep going down so for every 2 kgs I get my $50 but there is another catch....
• At 130 kgs and 120 kgs I get $250 for reaching those milestones.  If I lose 500 grams a week then I will be at 124 by Xmas and will be so happy about that.  I don't want to be fat anymore and I want to lose weight by Xmas to feel better again.

I am happy with these goals.

I think when I got down to 119.8 kgs (from 160 kgs) I got comfortable and was feeling the best I had ever been in the previous couple of years and then lost sight of the fact that I was still big.  I also got lost in the fact that this journey was for me and that I needed to keep going but got caught up in a major depression and couldn't stop worrying about my mum and if she was going to die and was focussing on all the negative things.

I lost my Dad 11 years ago and I still haven't gotten over it.  I miss him terribly.... it is like a deep hole that I cannot get out of and feel so lost.  I don't want to have that happen with my mum and then loose another 11 years of feeling like this.  I don't have any family left if she goes. 

I have J I know this but it isn't the same.  I love him with all my heart and we have been together for 23 years but not having family if anything happens to him will kill me.

 J's mum...hmmmm I couldn't count on her and she has not love or emotion... she is dead flat in the way she deals with me and the kids and J's bro well...... since his fiancee has been on the scene he is not the same person at all. 

J's dad is married to a lovely lady and I get on with them a lot but can't say that they would be around either but I would deal with them more.

I want to think positively.... and that I will cope if it happens or when it happens I just have to keep telling myselft this.

Anyway enough ramblings.

Oh... by the way since Wednesday I am soooooo on track to get my first $50 woohoo me lol

I am worn down

I have tracked every day this week even if I had been not so good so that I was aware of what was going in my mouth.

Been so grumpy today.  Grumpy only because I have an ulcer on the roof of my mouth and everything I eat agrevates it. 

I think I am worn down and going away this weekend is going to be great for me and J.  Mum is good and has organised for a friend to come down and keep them company so I won't worry too much about her and the kids.  MIL is organised to take Q to soccer and feeling soooo great about that but exhausted and I think that is why I am grumpy.

1 hour and 10 minutes can you believe it?

Slept until 11am OMG we never do that.  Maybe we would sleep until 10am on a Sunday but 11 that is just GLORIOUS.  The kids got themselves breakfast and occupied themselves.  BLESS them.

We had breakfast and then decided to take the dog for a walk and just to go for how long we wanted.  I decided to take a walk I had done when I loved to get and walk and it was a good walk well it took me 1 hour and 10 minutes to do it and I was absolutly exhausted when I got back.  When I had lost all the weight that walk was nothing and I didn't feel it but today I felt it and so did the dog to be honest.  When we got back he just slumped on the floor and stayed there lol.

The boys and mum went shopping for a couple of hours and I went through the photos of the wedding of my friend a couple of weekends ago and I did some adjusting on them so they could look dreamy and in sepia and black and white etc.  The photos turned out really well and I am happy with them.

Hubby made some covers for our couch arms (man he is amazing and they look so good).

Boys mowed the lawns and we had a wonderful casserole for dinner. 

So the exercise is done.  The food is tracked on the online weight watchers and I feel happy about today.

Last weeks weight was 138.8 and this week I would like to be 138.3 or less to make my 500 grams a week.  If I average at 600 grams a week then I can get down to my lowest of 119.8 by Christmas.  I really would like to be that again as I was happy and content at that weight.  

One year from now I would like to be 107 kgs. 

Need to have the goals again as it makes life better when I have goals.

Q got a goal... Q got a goal....

What a wonderful day.

Got up this morning all ready to take Q to soccer and this is the first game of the season that we have been on because last week being his first week of soccer we were at the wedding in Rotorua.

But but but.... Quinn got his first goal (real goal as apparently last week it was hit in to the goal but bounced off the goaly) it was like in slow motion.  Q kicked the ball from half way and it went over all the kids heads and over the goalies head and in to the goal.  All the parents mouths were open, my mouth was open and then it was like seeing a professional football game and they were all chasing Q and patting him on the back and it was like a WOHOO moment.  Hubby got it on the camera and I wished at that moment it was a video camera but oh well.

I was so proud of him and even his best friends mum came over and said "did you see that?" I said yes and she was like smiling as well.

Came home and looked at the photos of the soccer game and then at the photos last weekend in Auckland while we were waiting for mum at the 50th Wedding anniversary.  Some great photos of the dog and the boys and of the kids up the beautiful trees at the Domain.... so nice to have photos of the boys being nice to each other.

After looking at the photos we took Mum and C to the shopping centre and then we went with Q to get some groceries and also go and get some material to make some arm sleeves because our couch is getting a little old but we haven't found a lounge suite that we like just yet and I don't want to rush in to it for the sake of having a new one.  We have had ours for a while and there are a couple of places on the arms but not hidious or anything just that we have the book club coming over on Tuesday night and I want to give a good impression on some new friends.

Then this afternoon I went for a 45 minute walk OMG did you read that a 45 minute walk and I was saying to hubby and Q come on come on catch up... now that hasn't happened in a while.  I was determined to take a different direction and to be at least 45 minutes or more and I ran up an overbridge too...ran did you hear that... I want to run I want to run and not scream for air which I do now.  I want to jog around the blog and go off in la la land while I jog and no one realise that I used to be fat... for them to look at me and think man I wish I could do that.

So when I got back I had a bath and read my book and now chilling tonight after getting the boys in bed... life is wonderful

Night night everyone

Travelling blah

Travelled a long way for a meeting today but food choices were good.  Had a wrap and filled it with shaved ham and salad soooo yummy and so good.

Didn't get any exercise in because of the trip and the meeting but tomorrow and the weekend we are trying to fit some in sighhhhhh.

Feeling so much better about losing weight lately and in a week and a half I have gone from 139.9 to 138 kgs this morning and happy about that.  I find when I am concentrating on my food and weight then I keep it coming off.  I don't want to get obsessive but not thinking about it isn't good either.