Tuesday, 30 May 2006

Lost in my weigh in

Hey everyone.

Well I lost 300 grams tonight. I jumped on those scales saying to the ladies it doesn't matter how much I lose tonight because I have been tracking this week and I have been drinking my water and I brought a pair of new pants 3 weeks ago... that were tight and a week after I got them I found someone to take them up as they were too long and she gave them back to me 2 weeks later and in 3 weeks later they are too big and they were the biggest bleep bleep nightmare as I had to keep pulling them up all day. I HATE THAT but I am glad that I am going down in size but I hate the fact that I have just brought them because I need some clothes and they don't fit.... grrrr

So anyway I said that to my WW leaders and even though I was trying to convince myself I was still upset with only 300 grams. I was expecting 500 and I know I know I lost and didn't gain but 500 would have been better ya know.

So I had a huge talk with my WW leader because I was getting worried that maybe I am doing something wrong. I am sticking to points and I AM drinking my water (even though I hate it). It was great to really think about it. I have been trying to thinkn about what is making me go wrong but not really seeing it but tonight while one of the leaders were talking it dawned on me by what she was saying so I went to the other leader to chat.... she thinks I am eating too much towards the end of the day instead of the beginning so I am going to try 4 days a week this week to eat more for breakfast, morning tea and lunch and less at the end of the day.

I don't think I am eating all my exercise points either not all I can have and maybe that is why I am getting angrier about feeling hungry at the end of the day... I mean it feels like I am cheating and that is what is dawning on me now. But I have to do it and I have to eat up to my 12 exercise points extra a week.

I get for the kickboxing class 13 points OMG so one class a week would get me the amount I am allowed to go up to... but I do 4 times that and that is why I am still feeling hungry at night.

I do also think that I need to have a treat night a week because I am getting angrier and angrier at not being allowed stuff I want and I am not going to go overboard as I have set my mind right now after a year... I am not wanting to go overboard and not wanting to gain my weight back.

I figure if I can lose 300 grams etc and keep losing and never gain then I will eventually get there. So I have to sort out this food because the exercise isn't a problem and I DON'T want to give up the exercise at the moment I REALLY DON'T because I am happy with what I am doing and I find it quite addictive.

Anyway going to bed now. Really tired and still a little bitter because I feel like I am doing everything right but not get everything I wanted...

Love ya

Monday, 29 May 2006

Biggest Loser

Most of the day was ok... work work work work.

But went to have a meeting with my trainer and we went through my food and what I can do to sort my food out. It was a good half an hour and it was great to talk about things that have been bugging me on this 'diet' and I have got some things to get on with to get me back on track. It was a good time that is for sure.

Well anyway there was a poster on the wall in there and the gym (my trainer in particular) is doing a biggest loser but she is called it massive motivation. They are starting it in two weeks and you have to write in to say why you would like to be considered. It costs around $180 for 6 weeks of three days a week and at the end of it the person that has lost the most weight wins their money back and also the next course paid for and a dinner for two out to a nice restaurant. So I said I would like to go in to it. She said "I thought you would as you were the one that was trying to convince me to get something similar started" so at least someone is listening to me he he he

I said the only problem is... is that I want to still do the boot camp with the girls as it is important to me. She said I could still do one day of that and do 3 days of the other but we would have to see as I don't know what the times are that they are doing this. Hmmm it will be interesting that is for sure.

So I spent an hour working out at the gym after that and really went hard out on the cardio machines because I feel I really need this week.

So there are so many things going on for this year to get me motivated.

1. Wellington trip OMG I want to lose lots more before going down there so that is an incentive

2. The gym biggest loser coming up

3. Boot camp on the 7th July

4. 4 kilos to get to my 30 kilos by the end of May to get the Novetel weekend and pampering

Hmmmm I think that is enough to get me motivated this year aye!!! I really hope I am getting my A in to G that is for sure.

The only thing that I wish for is that I had someone that was going through the same thing doing the gym things with me. It just makes it more personal or something... it is great to know that you are going with a friend and getting to do exercise and still having fun... does that all make sense... Oh well. Please don't get me wrong I really LOVE my LEAN friends but they aren't big people... so they don't understand how much hard work it is for a bigger person and sometimes they don't relate ya know.

Anyway going to bed now. Didn't get too much sleep last night and I am buggered

Love CM

Saturday, 27 May 2006

Player of the day certificate

Ok you Wellington girls. I am trying to convince hubby that we need to go to Wellington for a holiday. So are you ready for me..... (that is if we can save enough as we want to buy a car by the end of the year ;-) he he ).

I want to meet up with all you fabulous girls again and ones that I haven't met in person before too... let's make a party of it he he he.

We (well I) am thinking leaving home on the 30th September to get to Wellington and on the 1st October meet everyone for lunch or a fabulous dinner. Wouldn't mind trying a restaurant that Karen was talking about last week... something about throwing food etc he he he I think it was Mt Fuji Tepanyaki or something like that.

Anyone else that wants to go down or come up around that time is most welcome too. It is the second week of school holidays too.

My youngest turns 5 on the 29 September and will be starting school on the 9th October woohooooo both kids at school yayyy.

Plus... the biggest PLUS is that it gives me something to work towards... getting my big fat ass skinnier he he he and also seeing Karen's puku it will be looking sooo pregnant woohooo.

It was a year last April since I had been down to meet you all and I am so looking forward to seeing what everyone has been up to... now please all put it in your diaries.

Today was a fantastic day. We took Corbin to his soccer game and they won wohooooo and Corbin got player of the day and I was sooo happy for him and as he said in his blog I was excited. OMG of course I was excited he deserved it even more today and he was so trying to get a goal, but the two teams were so compatible it was hard to even get the 1 goal that they did. The other team didn't get one at all he he he (smacking hand).

Then we took him in to McDonalds to celebrate (yes I know but he got a voucher for McDonalds from the team) so we said it was ok... he was happy. Then we went to a book sale at Whitcoulls (I am a bookaholic that is for sure) and brought a book each that the kids wanted and a couple of books for hubby and 3 books for me... greedy aren't I.

These are the books I got

Confessions of a reformed dieter (OMG just read the first chapter and she is so funny) by A.J Rochester.

The power of positive eating by Amanda Wynne & Alison Crawshaw.. this should be an interesting book. One is a Physiotherapist and one is a Dietitian. Written specifically for New Zealanders offers a unique new approach to weight loss. There are no lists of foods or meals for you to endure; no phoney magic formulas to dissolve excess fat and boost your metabolism. So anyway it looked interesting and I quite like reading about everything to do with weight loss so I can make an informed decision for myself.

OMG I am soooo excited that I am planning to come down to Wellington. It will give me such an incentive to get this weight off because I wanna look good he he he.

We rearranged the boys play room today because we brought a couch bed for in there so that we can sit and chat to them instead of sitting on the cold floor that has concrete under it he he he. Room looks so cool now.

Anyway going to go and have dinner now before I explode with happiness.

Love Chubbymum

Oh and P.S we went for a walk at 5.30 tonight with the boys 3 km's... good effort I reckon for a cold night.

Friday, 26 May 2006

First day back after being sick

Ok it was Day 1 for me...

Well I went back to the gym today. Thought that since I had put on my blog that I was going to go for it from today then I better get my ass in to gear... I so didn't want to go to the gym.. not because I don't like it I LOVE IT but just getting there after a week of no exercise and me just feeling better so I thought I would tell you guys what I did this morning.

Warm up on bike 4 minutes (30 seconds hard and 30 seconds recovery)
Spin Bike (water bike that our gym has) 10 minutes
Treadmill 10 minutes

Bench press 4 sets of 12
1 arm d/b row 4 sets of 12
Standing shoulder press 4 sets of 12
Incline d/b curls 4 sets of 12
Bench dips arrghhhhhh 4 sets of 12

Leg press 4 sets of 12
Leg extension 4 sets of 12
Leg curls (now I feel like a beach whale on this machine) 4 sets of 12
Calf raises 4 sets of 12

Swiss ball crunches 4 sets of 12
Swiss ball decline crunches 4 sets of 12

Then to finish off I did 10 minutes on the bike HARD OUT 1 minute and relaxed the next minute

So I was there for an hour and a half and I still didn't finish it all OMG I feel so sore now.

I have gotten over the flu mostly and was feeling quite good today before the gym and then exhausted after the gym and now OMG NOW I have had an upset tummy all day and been going to the loo. Will I ever feel better.. this is just not fair. But it is not going to ruin another weekend IT IS NOT!!

I worked out really hard today and I am really proud of myself.

I have even gone out of my way to drink my water today too... and you all know how much I hate water he he he

It was a good day apart from that. Corbin was at school... Quinn was at creche and my mum decided she wanted to go to Bingo with a friend so I had the house to myself and I managed to read some blogs and read my book and had time to myself.. after picking up the boys and mum it was back to normal again sigh...

Wish hubby was home... missing him today that is for sure... sometimes I wish that we had Friday's off together. One day when we win lotto.

I might post again tonight... hmmmm maybe

Love ya all

Thursday, 25 May 2006

Going to do it this week!!!

I want to do this!

You know this guys don't you?

I want to get to the 30 kilos!!! What am I stuffing around for? I am doing so much exercise (apart from this week as I was really sick) but I am not sorting out the food.

In the last week I have been comfort food eating and I have to stop it... that is what got me in trouble before.

I am making better choices with my food though. And I am thinking about it before I eat it (even though sometimes I am not eating right I still chose WAY better than I used to).

I have 4 kilos to get to 30 kilos!!! only 4 kilos I want to do this and it drives me nuts that I am doing this OMG I can't do this because I keep thinking that Kris will get there first and that I can't lose as much as her and it makes me go the opposite direction and BELIEVE me I know that that is silly but that is how I work. I am going to lose this!! I am!!!

I sometimes wish that The Biggest Loser was on every single day. I feel pumped after watching it. I need to do more!

OMG I got two emails today from my LEAN Trainer and also one of the ladies that is in the LEAN class saying that they have missed me this week at the gym and Class and the lady in my Lean group asked why I wasn't there because my trainer just said I wasn't well... which is ok because she is trying to keep confidentuality etc.. So it was really nice for them to care. I have so missed the gym but to be honest I have felt like death warmed up.

I am going to the gym tomorrow as I feel I have to get back to it. I might go to the gym for an hour and then go for a walk around the lake.. and get out into the fresh air.

I slept in to 11 something today and then took my mum and son out.... I can tell you I don't know what I would have done this week being sick if I didn't have my mum living with us as she has been great looking after the boys so I can get over this. So we went out shopping for her today (I still am not feeling well but she needed to get out that is for sure)... anyway she managed to buy a bed couch for the boys play room and it will be delivered on Saturday. They need a couch in there as I want to go in and sit and talk to them sometimes but the floor isn't exactly the most comfortable he he he and it would be nice for them to have somewhere nice to sit and read a book too.

I have a goal of 500 grams this week to lose!!!

I want to achieve it.

I am going to drink my water this week and stop being a little child and avoiding it.... I have been slacking in the last couple of weeks with the water and HAS TO STOP...

So there you go guys.. I am going to do it this week.

Love CM

Wednesday, 24 May 2006

Sick again....

I got sent home by work today.... sigh... not feeling well still and boss said to get my backside home... but me being me I needed to get the invoicing done first and then I came home.

I felt like crap but I couldn't sleep either as I had a V to get me through the morning so it was still going strong when I got home grrrr so I sat there trying to read but couldn't concentrate and then the cat decided he wanted hugs and no matter what he was going to get it even when I put my hand up so he would move somewhere else he still went around the other side of me to get close again geeshhhhhhh.

Thank God Corbin's soccer practice was called off because the grounds were closed Oh my there is a God that is for sure as I wasn't in the mood for standing out in the rain tonight that is for sure.

I think I am getting back on track now... when I am sick I get the main munchies but I am trying to choose better so we shall see.

Thanks Kate for leaving a message on Corbin's blog he was like beaming when he got home and saw the message and was upstairs to me so quick he he he.

Anyway I don't want my next two days (my day's off) me being sick that is for sure so I am going to go up to bed and try and shake this off grrrr

Goodnight everyone.

Love ya all

Tuesday, 23 May 2006

Weigh in 22 May 06

I went to Weight Watchers tonight and lost 500 grams. I am happy with that as I am aiming for 500 grams a week and if I keep losing that then I shall be fine.

I have to do this everyone!!! I have to!!! I am in such a slump and I am tired of it.

Still feeling a little unwell. I am going up to bed now.


Monday, 22 May 2006

Spicey Apple Cake

Stayed home from work today... I was still feeling so bad so I phoned in and said I wouldn't be in. Hubby was on jury duty so he managed to take Corbin to school and I slept until 2.30pm. I was soo not feeling well. I was looking forward to my one on one with my trainer tonight too but had to cancel that as well.

Got a phone call at 5.30 from Corbin's school friends mum asking if he wanted to join keas (scouts) and so we bundled up and went down to enrol him. When we got there they said it would be about 4 to 6 weeks waiting list because they didn't have enough leaders and were training them up now.... so Corbin was ok about that but he had so much fun with the boys tonight and we will take him back. I wasn't feeling good but couldn't not have this opportunity slip through our fingers.

So with not feeling well I wanted something sweet OMG OMG I just couldn't get my mind off it so hubby and I made a Spicey Apple Cake as it is a really easy cake to make and it is about 3 points for a piece of the cake... thought I would put the recipe up here.

Spicey Apple Cake

Peel and Cube 2 Large Apples
Add 1 cup of sugar and stand for 2-3 minutes
Add 125grams Melted Butter and an egg

Add Dry ingredients
1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp Baking Soda
1 tsp Cinnamon
1 tsp Nutmeg
1 tsp Mixed Spice

Throw in a handful of sultanas
Put in a 8" baking tin
Bake 40-50 minutes @ 180 degrees celsious
Sprinkle with Icing Sugar

Now that is the normal recipe above and we only put in a 1/2 cup of sugar in it... but this cake is DEVINE with a Captil DDDD.

So anyway just thought I would confess ;-)

The other thing is that my son has a blog and I thought since I know who is reading my blog now I would let you all see it... it is so cute that he wants to do a blog too and he is only 6 and he writes everything in it himself... even though he only just started yesterday... I have faith that he will keep it up he he he.. so if you wanna read please go HERE

Going to bed now..
Love ya all

Sunday, 21 May 2006

Quite angry at myself this week.

Didn't get a chance to sleep in this morning as we were going for a walk with Hubby's dad and step mum.

We headed out about 11.15am and went to the Hamilton Gardens to walk along the river going towards Cambridge. It was hilly and half way the path stopped but it was great to get out with us all and also their 2 dogs. I am a little sore but I enjoyed it heaps. The boys enjoyed it too as there were so many things to look at and do.

We got back to the gardens and got a sandwich and fruit salad and sat on the bank watching the ducks in Turtle lake. We were talking about the fact that Hubby and I have never seen a turtle in there and his Dad said they have so we went around the board walk to see if we could see one and we did... we saw a real one on a rock right at the back it was fabulous to see that is for sure. Not that a turtle is fantastic just that it is different than looking at ducks he he.

I feel quite bad about my food this week. I don't think I have gone overboard but I don't think I have made the right choices especially when it comes to the carbohydrates.... how can I stop it. I know I have mentioned it before but I just feel like in the last week I have gone overboard. I want to get to the Novatel... I want this pampering weekend but it isn't motivating me to get there.. why can't I be like any normal person and have simple goals and really go for it?

One thing I have been trying to do this week is that bloody water... I have been trying to drink as much as I can. I usually hate water but this week it hasn't been too much of a problem he he he. I cannot ask for much of a loss this Monday. But hey that is life. I am trying to sort out what I am craving when.. I hear so many people do this and I want to think more about what I am eating. For the past year I have been just eating and not thinking about why I am eating when I am eating.... but I am not going to do that anymore. I want to know what is happening because this is a lifestyle change for good ya know.

Anyway going now.... getting myself pissed off as I am feeling like a stupid cow and not achieving my goals... I am hating myself at the moment.


Saturday, 20 May 2006


Woke up this mornign still not feeling well at all.

Corbin was up all night with a bad ear infection again and we phoned to make an appointment with the doctor this morning.... so we were going to take him after the soccer game.

I have this one rival in our soccer team and that is one of the mothers that used to be the manager last year (I am the manager this year) and she just can't work it out that I can do this without her input... grrrr.... Thi is one person I dislike and I have never been like that before but she is pushing me to the point of saying Oi back OFF!!! Her husband told her last week to back off and she went to the end of the line and cowered all game... it was brilliant. OK I know that is bad but OMG this lady has to be one up all the time and she puts down other peoples kids for not being as good as her own and it just pisses me off to the max.

Anyway.... Corbin almost got a goal today OMG OMG it was like heart attack city that is for sure. They were right in the goal and Corbin was kicking it in and this little brat on the other team he he he he tripped him up so the goaly got the goal just in time GRRRRR how annoying was that.... my little man tries so hard but hasn't managed to get a goal yet... and mostly because at the age of 6 they don't pass it to each other so only two of the kids end up getting goals... but hey what do you do about 6 year olds huh... he was like soooo dissappointed that he didn't manage to get the goal. The other parents and I were like praising him the rest of the game for how great he did. They won the game woohooo.

Ok... so off my family food wise I have been crap this week... too many carbs. Why do I always want carbs when I have my monthly? I can't seem to stop craving them that is for sure. It doesn't help having this head cold either and I am just not wanting to worry about what is going in my mouth. Will I ever get back on track? At this stage is certainly feels like I won't that is for sure.

Took Corbin to the doctor and they confirmed that he has a major ear infection and gave him antibiotics.

We dropped the boys at their Nana's this afternoon after lunch and went to Bunnings... OMG is that place deadly for us or what. We are doing a retaining wall and needed some plants so ended up getting 4 punga trees... it is going to look soooo cool. Then we have to get the rocks and we are all done on the retaining wall woohoooo. We also went and brought a gas cylinder so that we can get some heat into this house brrrrrr winter is certainly here.

My father in law phoned tonight and asked if we wanted to go for a walk with them tomorrow and so we are going to go for a walk down the lake tomorrow... so that should be interesting... I don't know what is up but they don't usually come and visit as they live an hour away and it makes me a little bit suspicious hmmm.... so we shall see.

We are watching Miss Congeniality (spelling??) no 2 tonight... can't wait woohoo.

Love CM

Thursday, 18 May 2006

Met Hera

I have wanted to update in the last couple of days but the slow internet by Xtra just pissed me off. I wish they would learn to get their bleep bleep together.

I haven't had that much to say to be honest. Been really thinking about my situation and this weight loss situation and that I am getting lazy. I AM...

I am needing so much support but not just good on you support I need to be helped with my food etc. So I asked my WW leader if I could email her on Tuesday (OHHHH I gained 800 grams but I understand why... the alcohol in the weekend was sooo not good) so anyway I have been emailing my WW leader and she has been giving me some ideas on how to change some things.

Had a fabulous day today.

Started off with going to my LEAN class at 6am and working through a lot of exercises from our trainer. I was feeling a little sore from the night before's kickboxing class... but hey it can only get better CAN'T IT????

It was a great LEAN class today I felt energised and she made us make personal appointments with her re our goals and our food and to help us out... she is like really going all out to help us all and I can't wait. Then we went to check on our results from our fitness test from last week and my fitness level went up.. my trainer was so happy on the result and so that is frantastic as I didn't really understand what it all meant but hey.

Then took Corbin to school and helped out there for a half an hour doing some crafty things for the teacher and then Quinn and I went to the Lake to meet up with Hera and her daughter for the first time. I met Hera online and we just clicked. So we went for a walk. Hera said that she and her daughter walk around the lake but do it really slowly as her little one gets bored. But today both our kids were like angels that is for sure. Quinn was on his scooter and her daughter was in her pram. I think that they must have been listening in on our conversation or something as they were great.

I got on so well with her that we are doing it again next Thursday. It felt great to talk to someone and not feel weird... I get so tongue tied when meeting new people but I felt really comfortable with her today. I think I have found a really nice friend. The hour went so fast and then we went and got a drink and an ice cream for the kids and then watched them play in the play ground.

I was on such a high when I got back it was wonderful... felt really tired but hey that is ok.

Anyway I am tired and need to go to beddy byes he he he.

Love ya all.

Sunday, 14 May 2006

Mothers day weekend

I haven't had a bad weekend... I just didn't feel like being on the computer that is all. I have had a busy weekend with a lot of ups and downs but sometimes writing it down makes it all come alive or something.

Been quite depressed because I haven't really tried this week with my weight loss and feel like quite a failure really because I haven't bothered to try. OK I went to the gym enough and did enough exercise but the food portions haven't been that wonderful and I am the only one to blame but I cannot seem to get myself back into it.

Had a huge argument with hubby today and felt angry all day. We didn't have much money this week and I said to him make a deal with his bro to pay him on Wednesday with the half for his mothers day present for his mum but he decided no that wasn't right so either me or my mum would suffer...now I know that it is his mum but for christ sake my mum does more for him that his mother has ever done.

My mother is always there for us if we need her and she helps us with the kids and when we want to go out she will look after them. If we want his mother to look after them then we have to book her a month or two ahead of time and that doesn't guarantee us getting her to help either.

So they brought her a DVD player for about $100. So I was angry with him he took the boys and he went shopping and by the time he got back there was no time for me to buy anything for my mum for mothers day... OMG I was pissed off. He took the boys to the $2 shop to get me a present... the 2 fucken dollar shop yet he spent $50 (half between him and his brother) on his mother.

I just wanted to fucken kill him. I know it isn't in how much you spend but the thought I do understand that but it would have been a good idea to think of us first since that is what we always do for him. We are the ones that remember his birthday that get him clothes etc...

So anyway will tell you about mothers day on the Sunday part so you will have to read on....

We had a work dinner to go to tonight at Villagrads and I was looking forward to it as it is a winery that has a fantastic restaurant with it and entertainment.

So it was even more special tonight as it was the stomping of the grapes too as it was their 100th year in business. They got volunteers from the audience to come and get their shoes off and stomp the grapes in the barrel... got lots of photos of the girls doing that. I didn't fancy getting my feet all squishy he he he.

We took a bus to the dinner because it is out in the country and so we can also drink and not drive. Needless to say I drank sooooo much and was feeling quite good that after dinner (which was devine I must say and I chose not to have dessert wohooo for me) the brazilian dancers came on and gave us a great show with all their costumes and dancing and then my old boss decided that I had to get up and dance to the brazlian music.

It was a fantastic night and I felt like I had eaten alot but when I asked hubby he said no I hadn't eaten a lot and I didn't go back for seconds like other people had but with the alcohol I don't think it helped he he he. We got home at 2am and when my head hit the pillow I was gone that is for sure.

Woke up and the kids came and gave me their hand made cards and I was sooooo proud of them. Then they had two little presents all wrapped up in red celophane and bows and in each one was a braclet and a candle from each boy. The braclet was made out of beads and they were so nice.

Hubby made me a reallllly nice brunch with the boys IN BED woohooo and I got an hour to sit in bed reading my book OMG it has been like forever since I have sat down and read my book that is for sure.

Hubby came back up and gave me a $50 note and said that I have to buy either a watch or a tripod for my camera. I said I would get a tripod as I want to do more with my photography so that will be exciting. HMMMM still was seething about the fact I hadn't gotten mum anything so we decided to go out for deveonshire tea with her today and put it on the credit card (I HATE using the credit card grrrr but it was worth it for mum) and told her that I would give her $50 (the one hubby gave me and I would get my tripod later on) to go and get herself something that she wanted and she was so happy with that. My mum can be such a fussy woman that giving her money to get something she likes is better believe me!!. So it all worked out in the long run but it doesn't mean that I was happy with the way that his mother came first AGAIN when she doesn't exactly think of us.... but what can I do about it.

My mother in law is coming over for dinner tonight and I have my pj's on oohhhhhhh I feel so luxurious that is for sure. Sitting in my pj's heater on in front of the tv in the lounge.... cat sitting next to me keeping me warm.

So anyway the book I am reading at the moment is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix... (the fifth book). I have to get up with it as they are making the next movie and I really like Harry Potter he he he he...

I am thinking by July I am going to open up my journal again with no password but I am still not telling everyone it is here yet... but we shall see.

Love ya all

Thursday, 11 May 2006

First Spinning Class Woohooo

I read this on a diary today.... and it really made me think OMG yes... this is what is working for me this time around. I am writing here in my diary and it keeps me accountable and since I had been restricting what I am feeling my weight loss has plateaued. Now that I am saying what I think on my diary I feel more like I am sticking to it. This journey has to be for me... but also it is great knowing that I am (maybe) inspiring others to know that they can do it too. Without the journals that I read when I first started I don't think I would have done it. It was because they could do it that I realised I could do it and that they felt just like me. So read this article... I find it quite interesting.

Diet & Nutrition
Journaling: The Inexpensive Cure for Emotional Eating
by Jeffrey Wilbert, PhD, for iVillage

I realize I'm an emotional eater, and I've had a weight problem for many years. I'm ready to do something about it, but I don't have the finances to seek counseling. What can I do to help myself?

Let's talk about two of the most powerful self-help tools around: pen and paper.

Research studies show that those who are most likely to succeed at losing weight and keeping it off utilize a technique called self-monitoring. What's self-monitoring? Simply put, it's keeping track of yourself. It means tuning into your thoughts, feelings, goals and strategies. It involves charting your progress and rewarding your successes. It's also a way to engage in healthy self-expression, which is a key ingredient to changing a long-standing emotional relationship with food.

There are many specific ways to self-monitor. One of the oldest (and most frightening!) is to keep a record of daily caloric intake. Almost all traditional dieting strategies involve some form of this technique, so most of us are sick of doing it. Although burdensome, it is a way to become accountable to ourselves, and if we stick with it, it can be a potent method of staying on track with weight loss goals. However, most emotional eaters need to broaden the age-old food log and turn it into a "food and feelings" log, because it's not only important to tally how much you eat, but also why you eat it. Identifying the feelings and issues that trigger and accompany overeating is a crucial step toward developing healthy eating patterns.

Another powerful mode of self-monitoring is to keep a daily journal. Writing is therapeutic! Studies have shown that those who write about their feelings tend to improve not only their emotional health, but their physical health as well. In fact, one study showed that arthritis sufferers who wrote about traumatic life experiences showed a decrease in joint pain! A journal can be a private place to express your innermost thoughts and feelings, a place to get some perspective on what you're dealing with and a place to identify issues that might be in your way. Journaling is also an effective way to keep track of your changing inner self, as progress usually takes place in bits and pieces of insight that accumulate over time. Your journal can be a way to look back at where you were so you can appreciate how far you've come.

If you decide to keep a journal, you're doing yourself a big favor. How should you do it? It's an entirely personal decision. Let it be your own creation. If you want to use a fancy bound book of blank sheets, fine. If you want to use the computer, also fine. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate, though; the important thing is that you allow yourself freedom to express your uncensored thoughts and feelings. Remember, any form of self-monitoring will help you win your war with weight.

I did a spinning class this morning OMG I am sore now. I also did a fitness test with my LEAN trainer before the spinning class and as usual it was poor but my something or rather was up from last time and that was a great sign, because of being 35 and my weight for my age I am going to have a poor for quite some time I reckon but the percentage up is a good sign she said hmmmm not that I understand any of that.

She said that as from Tuesday she is giving us an exercise routine to do other than the LEAN classes on Tuesday and Thursday. Woohooo as I get a little bored when I am not doing it with the girls that is for sure and this way I will keep on track.

I have also got a deal with my trainer in regards to my nutritian and I have to email her every night with the days food and we are going to work on that as well. OMG that is so good of her to help me like this as it could cost heaps with a Dietician etc and Weight Watchers is great but sometimes I really need the extra help with the food too. Not that I am being bad but only because I need other alternatives some times.

You know it is amazing that apart from paying the gym membership the LEAN course is only $15 a week approx and it is sooooo much cheaper than having a one on one trainer but in a way we have that anyway. We get to meet other people as well and if you got a personal trainer they can start from $30 an hour OMG.

2 plain bread
Boiled egg mashed yummmy

2 rolls

WW Savory Snacks

WW recipe Bacon Pasta....
With a little chiretzo (spelling hmm a little hot sausage but not a lot)

I know today I had a little to much bread and not enough fruit but things were just so hectic and I need to sort out the choices and have a better breakfast. But I am finally looking at my food and thinking about it instead of thinking oh well did bad and that is it.

Anyway enough thinking for me tonight.

Love Chubbymum

Wednesday, 10 May 2006

Getting back on track woohoo

Woohooo I had a good class tonight.

Last week I met a really nice girl/lady... I think she is around my age but a lot slimmer he he he and we got on like a house on fire. She came tonight and said OMG I am glad you came back this week to the class. She said that she was wondering how my triathlon went on Sunday and when I was talking to her another lady said "I heard you did really well in the weekend at the triathlon" I said OMG am I being talked about and she said yes you are an inspiration. I said well then you should come to the LEAN class with us huh... and smiled. She was giving excuses but I will get her.

It was a great class and sooooo hard. I felt so sore afterwards and my hair is still wet (2 hours later). I worked it baby!!

I want to lose another kilo this week.. OMG I just feel like I have to do this because I am tired of plateauing I AM SICK OF IT!!

SFL is back up and running! Woohoo and I met a lovely lady called HERA on it and she comes from Hamilton it was great to know that someone in my own town was going through the same thing as me. I was heavier than her last year and with her determination she is going to do it that is for sure. What an inspiration she is. I wish her all the luck.

2 Toast
1/4 Avocado

(breakfasts are my down pour when working and
starting work at 7.30am I have to find some healthy
alternatives than bread but it is the easiest to
eat in the car).


Mince (Kaweka new product out in
New Zealand quite nice)

10 rice crackers

7.25pm (after class yahoo)
Tomato pasta penne (homemade)

Anyway I am on my way. I am doing this for me FINALLY and I am doing it. I have got my exercise on track... I need to work on my food and for the next month I am going to achieve this!

Love ya all hun!


Tuesday, 9 May 2006

On such a high! Feeling loved

I had a so so day at work today but that is ok as it isn't my life it is only a means to have money to have life. I think I have come across that now. I don't live to work I work to live he he.

Anyway got home from work and felt so tired. I think I am feeling it still from Sunday and I haven't been sleeping too well as I am still on a high.

So while my son was watching tv I went for a little snooze on the couch he he he. But he is such a little sweetie that he just watched his cartoons... (don't fear I don't let him watch tv a lot that is for sure).

Hubby came home and we both went out in the cars to the petrol station to fill up with petrol and my husband put petrol in our diesel (GRRRRRR) so I left him there and went to Weight Watchers so he could sort it out IDIOT. He was waiting for his brother to come (as he is a mechanic).

So anyway I went to weigh in... now I wasn't expecting to lose weight as I had done a lot of exercise and I have tracked but not wonderfully so I said to the lady I hadn't lost but I did... I did I LOST 1 KILO now I am hoping that I am back on track and that I keep on with the tracking because that is what is failing me at the moment. Not the exercise I have that down.

So I was really happy with that and my WW leaders came over and gave me a big hug about the triathlon and I just felt teary and then one of my WW friends came over with a bunch of flowers it was so sweet and I felt like overwelmed that is for sure.

So after I had hugged my friend for the lovely flower my WW leaders asked me to come over behind the desk for a while. They had finally made my present. I started crying because they thought about me and what I needed the most and it was a laminated star with their faces on one side and then quotes on the other side the quotes being:

1. Don't give up what you most want for what you want at the moment.
2. You must begin to think of yourself as the person you want to be.
3. Empower yourself and be the person you Dream about.

Are they amazing or what. At the top they say Chubbymum is a star (obviously using my real name he he)I cried as it was so touching that they thought to make me this to help me on my journey. I have to do this. I have to lose this weight for them to know that they are supporting the right person. A person that wants to do this.

So anyway the other bit of weirdness for the night was that Kris went to weigh in and I heard her say "no that won't do" and then the next minute she took off her top.

People just looked at her and with that she lost 200grams so that meant she had a loss of 100grams. Now I tell you! What does that prove?

The week before she had a top on and does it really justify that she had a good week when she didn't? I was quite disgusted really especially when there were people there that she didn't know and she was taking her top off and some men were walking in just as she was getting her top on. She thought it was a big joke and afterwards people were talking about like 'how could she do such a thing' with scoully faces. Even her mum said that it didn't show anything because she didn't lose correctly.

I suppose in our minds if we have a loss we have a loss but sometimes you have to wonder if the loss on the scales was true and will it make a difference to lose from week to week.

So anyway got home and the car wasn't home. Apparently it had to stay there and tomorrow the mechanics will have to drain the tank so that we can put petrol in it GRRRR if it's not one thing its another. So hubby is taking the day off tomorrow to sort it all out.

Anyway I have blabbed enough he he he I am going up to my beddy byes.

Love ya all and thank you for your support... it is greatly appreciated.

Love Chubbymum

Sunday, 7 May 2006


Just to let you all know.

OMG OMG OMG I did it!! I did it!!

I was so nervous today!

I couldn't sleep last night I woke up every hour on the hour and I was getting so frustrated.

I got up at 5.30 and took a shower and then got myself ready for the triathalon.

I had porridge for breakfast as I felt like I should have a great start to the day.

When we got there the girls were all pumped and we went on the bikes to warm up for 10 minutes.

I went first as I was walking and the others were running. Plus one other lady started at the same time because she was doing 2km more than the rest of us...

Got hubby to walk the first part with me as it was down at the river so we dropped off the car at the end of the river part of the walk.

Hubby kept saying slow down slow down but the music I had chosen was making me walk faster and hey that was ok I was feeling really good about it.

I did the 10km in 1 hour and 35 minutes (in my practice I did it in 1 hour 55 minutes) OMG OMG 20 minutes off my time!!!

Woohoooo I was smiling for the last 10 minutes of the walk because I knew that I was beating my time. I was sore but I was pumped that is for sure.

I got back and the receptionist at the gym was outside screaming and waving her hands around saying woohooo way to go and then I went to cross the street to come over and she said keep coming keep coming or your time will be longer. I said "I am not going to keep coming when the car is coming my way he he he"

Got upstairs at the gym and the girls were flabagasted that I was there earlier than I said I would have been. I got up there and one of the ladies came out saying "you are too early... too early I had 400metres to go on the rower and I had to go really fast just so that I could come and see you he he he you are too early he" so I asked our trainer if she would phone my hubby to say I was early and could he come down and she came back after phoning him and said that he said "OMG what is wrong with her she is too early" he he he so I shocked everyone.

I did the 8km Bike ride in 23 minutes and the girls were all there giving me support and finally my family turned up he he he.. hubby was smiling at me like I was OH I don't know.

Then I got on the rower and half way through I was thinking OMG I want to beat my 12 minutes that I did last week. Then I heard my mother in law at the back of me saying OMG I thought you would have just gotten back now and here you are almost finished. 5 minutes in to my rowing the last person was finishing and I still had more time to go. I did the row in 10 minutes and 9 seconds OMG OMG I shaved off so much but I was now all wobbly and tired like you couldn't believe.

We went and sat at the reception area with bananas and champagne and orange juice... it was like soooooo exciting. I was on such a high!! such a high! I had done it!


Came home and felt so hungry that hubby made me a bagel with tomato and lettuce etc it was sooo great to eat yummy food. Then I went up for a LONG spa bath with bubbles hmmmmmmm.

I am going out for dinner with the ladies tonight and I can't wait... It is going to be so much fun.

OH I forgot to mention that one of the ladies gave us all a present. It was a key ring with a little sneaker and tennis ball on it to remind us of our Triathalon.

This is a photo of all of us before we start the Triathalon (the lady in pink is our trainer.

This is us 2 hours later woohooo we have finished and we all look buggered he he he. These ladies are a wonderful bunch of ladies and I am so previledged to have them as friends. I have achieved so much in this LEAN class and I am happy I did it. I did it! I did it! and I met some great friends along with it Woohoooo.

Thanks everyone for reading. Love you all.

Love Chubbymum

Friday, 5 May 2006

Finished on blogspot

Hi Anonymous.

I am now posting somewhere else privately and since I have been doing that I have been doing so much better with my weight loss and tracking, and feeling more content because I can freely write what I am truly thinking about things in my life, and that was the whole point of my diary when I first started this.

When I feel right about making it public I will tell you (if you email me at the address below) and I will put you on my email list to tell you when it is open to others. Would be nice to know who you are anonymous... I don't bite he he.

Anyone else that reads my diary please email me. I promise to send you the new address when I am sorted :-)

Thank you all for all your support I truly appreciate it.

I don't think it will be a long time but I just need to do this right now.

Love CM

Thursday and Friday

It is Friday Wohooooo!

Yesterday was so full on that by the time I got to do my entry I didn't have the energy to write in it.

I went to my final LEAN before the Triathalon on Sunday. She worked us so hard that is for sure and said to us that today (thurs) was the last day of exercise before the event. OMG not doing exercise on Friday was doing my head in that is for sure... how did I get to be so addicted to exercise... hmmm just don't know.

So I took Corbin to school and then took mum to get her hair cut and we did some shopping. Quinn was such a good little man while we were shopping and so we gave him $2 so he could buy what he wanted at the $2 shop... now I thought he would go for those dreaded toys (which are mainly guns or swords etc grrrr) but he chose to buy a little bag of lollies.... now that wasn't good either but I don't give him lollies much so hey once in a while isn't going to hurt him and at least he didn't have a toy that he could hit his brother with he he.

We were heading back home when mum said she wanted to go to Chartwell for a while so I took her there and she asked Quinn if he wanted to go and he did Wohooooo I got some time to myself so yep I went for a walk he he... I wanted to check out my new back pack with teh water bladder in it so I can have on the triathalon on Sunday. Wow it took a little while to get used to sucking at the straw for the water to come up but it was great to be walking free with my hands free. I think I smiling the whole way... some of the way I felt like I was being a little bit like a nerd he he he but lately I don't care what anyone thinks because I am getting healthy.

I went to pick up Corbin from school and a parent came up to me (now I only just met her this year) but she came to me and said "I don't know if I will upset you but you have lost so much weight and I thought I would tell you how great you are looking" Wow I just smiled and said thank you... I was a little embarrased but I was happy that she had the guts to tell me... it was great.

I am getting a lot of compliments lately and it is really boosting me that is for sure.

Today Friday I went to visit my old work mates at the University and when I walked in there were gasps... I was a little stunned but they said that I was looking fantastic. They hadn't seen me since October last year and they were giving me compliments left right and centre. I was telling Jeremy and said that I had only lost 5 kilos since then but he said my shape has changed because of the fat changing to muscle and that is what they are seeing. One of my friends there said that I have more of a waist now and a neck and that my face is more defined. Wow... what a high compliments give you.

I have been good since Wednesday and tracking as I had gotten off track with the tracking he he he but now I am back up and running.

It feels great to have my two days off again... as the last couple of weeks I have been working that extra day and it is taking it's tole on me now.

I am so nervous about Sunday triathalon. I don't know how it is going to go but I have to do it so I am going to do it.

Anyway I might update later... got to go and take mum out to New World ho hum... I hate grocery shopping.

Love CM

Wednesday, 3 May 2006

Telling it how I feel it!

I must say thank you TRIXIE!!! I miss you heaps. I wish you didn't live in Australia. I can't believe after 20 years of being friends that we are still in contact over the sea etc. Thank you for still reading and supporting me. I do appreciate it. Now I will publicly say 'Come on girl start a blog so I can read about you ;-)'

Thank you all for comments I do appreciate it. I was wondering for a minute there if you all had gotten pissed off that I had changed (once again)and you had decided not to read me anymore.

I went to the gym tonight and THOROUHLY enjoyed it. I was speaking with the receptionist there when I got there and she said "do you mind if I say something" OHHH I got worried then. She said we have been worried about you until a couple of weeks ago. I said why were you worried? She said because for the last 6 months you have been more in to helping Kris out with herself than you are with yourself and that we were worried that it was bringing you down. I didn't think that it had and when she said that I sort of thought... how could they see it and I only just see it.

I suppose I was for quite some time continually telling Kris that she can do it and she can push herself and for the receptionist to say that they were all worried but didn't know how to approach me made me wonder how come I didn't see it before. I suppose I like encouraging people because it makes me think that if I can encourage them I can do it myself... but I haven't been. I have been slacking and not concentrating on myself like I had at the start of last year.

It is going to stop from now on... the receptionist was in the class tonight and she buddied me and said that she finds I am such an inspiration and in the last couple of weeks been watching me doing this for myself and glad that I am finally concentrating on me. Wow she put me on a high and made me think about me...

Why can't I find someone to go to the gym with that motivates me and listens to me about my day? I do find that I need someone to push me and said that to my trainer.. especially food wise... so my trainer said she would check my food diary for me and talk to me about my choices.

So I now have both my WW leader and my trainer helping me. OMG that is fantastic because I need to work out how I am doing with my food.

I think I am doing well but I am not losing in the way I would like.. I don't think that I am chosing the right things honestly. I know I am keeping within my points and trying to do the right amount of carbs and fruit etc but those choices can be better... but maybe in my mind those choices aren't what I want he he he ya know what I mean... like I am giving up??? maybe that is it? Not giving up on food just that I don't want to give up the things I like...hmmmm.

I am thinking more about my food lately. I am reading that book I mentioned about in my post the other night and it certainly makes me think about my whole weight loss.

I must say I am please with Weight Watchers subscriptions at the moment. I subscribed to their magazine while I had the 2 years for 1 year price and I didn't get my first one when I thought I should have... but thought well I just subscribed I will give them the benefit of the doubt but when a friend received the latest magazine and I still hadn't gotten mine and it was a week later... I started to worry. So I emailed them and she sent me the latest one and added an extra magazine on my subscription. I was totally pleased with how fast they replied.

OH God I am babbling on again aren't I. I really feel like I am back to writing about me and not fearing about how I am feeling, or what anyone thinks. At the start of my journey I wasn't afraid of saying what I thought and through getting it out on here I was not dwelling about it in my mind anymore.

A great friend of mine (Leonnie) phoned me last night and she said that she doesn't know how I can be so candid about my life and what I am doing on my blog.... and maybe I can do it because people on here (apart from Leonnie and Trixie) don't know me (as such)... don't know my past and so this is a way to get it out and not to fear because it isn't going to hurt anyone here and in the long run it is about getting it off my chest so I don't brew about it.

I know when I was younger I used to fear everything and didn't want to try anything and never did exercise etc.. and tried everything under the sun to not do any exercise but now I wonder why? what was the problem in doing exercise... I am enjoying it so much now and if I would have opened my mind when I was a kid then maybe I wouldn't be as big as I am now (or was he he). I want to instill that in my boys... that exercise is fantastic and fun and don't fear it or fear that anyone else thinks it is silly because it is good for them. I hope it works and I hope they take heed.

Anyway I have babbled too much.

Love ya all