Monday, 28 February 2005

Gotta get moving

To start.. Sandra and Fat Queen thank you both for your emails(smile) I am getting to it! Just been busy this weekend with the kids and other stuff, BUT will reply soon. Also thanks (smile) Mkia I do agree that I need to use my diary to find the obstacles that are keeping me off track (these last 2 weeks anyway). Before that I was trying so hard! And yes I was loosing but not as much as I thought since I was fully keeping to this life style change, I really appreciate your note and it has made sit back and think about things.
In the last couple of weeks I have wanted to eat more after 8.30pm. I had been so good up till the last couple of weeks. I like have a craving for chocolate or sweet things. I tried the water instead and getting up and moving around to get me away from it but it isn't working for me ;-) It feels like I am going backwards in my diet. I have to find a way to keep on track and get more out of this. I have been still doing my 2 nights a week with kickboxing (taebo) but think it is not getting me enough exercise.
I have been asked by my boss if I would work full time for three weeks as a colleague husband is going for a heart operation and she is taking the time off. I am glad because we do need the money at the moment to pay off some bills but then again I am a little be nervous as I have been working 20 hours a week for a year now and I am a much better person. I find that I am not an afternoon person and am not that productive in the afternoon and my husband said that I am a much better person when I am working part time. So we shall see... but the thing I am looking forward to is the fact that I get a lunch break!!!
A LUNCH break :-) I haven't had a lunch break in over a year and since I finish at 2pm then I go and pick up my son and then home again so lunch is eaten while working... ho hum so it will be good to get together with some friends as they keep asking but since I work during those hours I can't... so that is going to be good. I have asked my boss if I can still have my lunch around the time I want to do the class and she said yes so I get to do my third class at my lunch hour woohooo for me it feels great. I have a great boss she is so fair and keeps to the rules... I quite like that because then you know she will treat everyone the same and there are no favourites¡K you know something else I like is that the ladies I work with are all in their 50's... it is great because there is not bitchiness and they say what they think no games. OMG that is so refreshing.
Even though these last two weeks I haven¡¦t been good with the food. I have kept within my 26 points but had more sugar points than I should. I still look in the mirror and think.. my face is getting smaller and not so chubby so that is good. I know that I am not keeping way down with the food but I think with the exercise as well I am going to still loose but not as much as I want to... I just get so hungry, and I have been trying to eat more fruit and veges but I have to condition myself I think.. I just don't naturally go for the fruit and veges if I am hungry and so I have to get and do it instead of thinking salty or sweet... so this week I am going to really concentrate on eating more fruit and veges...
Anyway I am rambling on now. I have to go now and get my beauty sleep for a full day at work OMG OMG OMG ;-)
Bye bye
Chubby Mum
posted on 9:24 p.m

Saturday, 26 February 2005


Ok.. so this is the first time that I can't work out what to say in here.
Not like there hasn't been things happening but don't know what to say.
Feel like I am still on this life change and I am keeping within my points but I feel bloated and not loosing the weight (even though I haven't weight myself in a week ana a half). The only place I can see it is in my face.
Well quite depressed tonight so I haven't really got anymore to say.
Chubby Mum

Thursday, 24 February 2005

Back on track with Support Group

Wow what a day!! All I can say is that I am back in my support group. I had emails and things are sorted and it was great to know that I am liked in the group. I had my doubts sometimes but I am glad that I am back there. I did miss talking to them as really they are nice people and we are supposed to be there through thick and thin.
I am still not happy about the person that wrote the message to all of us and she has not apologised for what she had written to all of us, but when I read what the others had written to her about what they felt then I realised it wasn't just me that felt like that.
The moderator apologised and said that she should have thought about what was in the email before she agreed with all of the stuff said. She did say some of the things that the person said she did agree with (and that is fair enough she is allowed an opinion) but that the way the email was written was rude etc.
So at least we all said what we had to say and now things are going back to normal... well I hope back to normal as we did achieve quite a lot and even though we all (me included) whined a bit about some stuff we have all lost weight and still haven't put back on the weight.
I do thank the two people (Zoe and Missie) for the support and the fact that they thought about me and emailed me to see how I was. I was a little dissapointed that the moderator didn't care enough to check up on me after I had unsubscribed as we talked to each other more than some of the others did.. it was dissapointing.
Now anyway there was a quote that I like in all this and that is "So cry me a river, build a bridge and get the fuck over it? No...cry me a river and I'll grab your hand and help you swim." This wonderful lady Tallisman turned the horrible sentence from the mad woman and turned it into a better support group quote.
The person that said the lovely quote said that we are supposed to be there to help and that the other person would let people drown and think they were silly instead of helping them out of the situation. Way to go Tallisman! {{big kisses}}.
Anyway... I had a great day today. We have jetstream now and it is sooo much faster to download things I am sooo happy.
Well I have been drinking my water today and I got a compliment from a 65 year old (my mothers friend).
She hasn’t seen me for a while and said OMG are you on a diet cause your face has slimmed down and your tummy too… OMG on cloud nine I was today.
I have also started a support group for people that want to chat and want to loose the weight and have others listen and support. So if you want to join then please email me and I will send you an invitation. Marilynn welcome and thanks for your email and support.
Chubby Mum

Wednesday, 23 February 2005

Support what does it really mean?

Hey... does anyone want to start a support group with me? I have just left the one I am in as I am tired of the bitchyness there... they are a great bunch of people do not get me wrong but it is getting to the stage where I am too scared to say anything for fear of people getting upset. It is like we can’t say when we have a bad day or a good day. Some people are moaning because the only time people post is when they have lost or are having a great day. Then there are others complaining that they can keep on the diet for the last couple of weeks and they haven’t gone off the wagon.
Life style change is about ups and downs and people should feel free to post when they feel up and down. That is why when I write in my diary here I LOVE it… I LOVE it because I can be completely honest and if I am having a bad day then I can say that in here and it is my opinion and if others don’t like it then they don’t have to read. But when I am having a good day I like to write in here too…. Thank you for your support… I cannot stress that enough I have had really great feedback from you all and such caring people understanding what I am going through as I guess most of you are going through it or have been through it.
This is what someone started off saying :::::
“I am sick and tired of most of you coming in here and complaining. I don't need a group of complainers. I feel like all you do is sit there and bitch about having another bad day/week and making excuses for yourself so that you don't feel so bad about the fact that you made the conscious decision to sabotage you efforts. I have not fallen of the wagon once and I know that I won't. And, even if I do, I only have one person to blame and that is myself, not stress from work, not my period, not my cravings, and not my addicition. What I put in my mouth is my choice.” :::::::::::::::::::
OMG we didn’t get to this stage in our lives (FAT) by being perfect little beings!!! We got here because we were complainers or lazy or bad eating habits.. and I am the first to admit that I am (have been) all of those.
But lifestyle changes take time and we can’t loose all the habits at once it takes time to change our ways. I have just gotten tired of the group because in the last couple of weeks that is all that is happening that people are getting upset with others and want, want, want it to be perfect and it is not perfect this journey we are on IT IS JUST NOT!!!.
It is great to have the support and to be able to say what you want and have people praise you or tell you come on now lets do this you can do this… it just takes time to change that chocolate habit or that no exercise problem, one thing at a time. For now I am concentrating on the exercise three times a week so that is so much of a habit I can’t do anything else. Plus to get the water down my gob… OMG that is hard for me and then doing the food… don’t get me wrong I am doing the WW points system and I am sticking to it but there are things I could improve on.
Yes it is a conscious decision when you eat that ice-cream or do anything else that is not good for your change but they did it and needed to tell someone so that someone can say ok… you did it now lets get back on the horse or what about trying this instead. Because in the process of helping them it makes you a stronger person that makes you start thinking before you touch that naughty food. Not I am sick and tired of you!!! GRRRRRR I can’t believe how angry I am.
This was her last paragraph "Oh whoa is me I have to deprive myself of eating everything in sight. I have to exercise. BooHoo I am not like other people who can eat whatever they want." Suck it up damn it! So what? Cry me a river, then build a bridge and get the fuck over it.”
Now does that sound like she wants to support anyone? I tell you I was soooo pissed off that I wrote an email and then I unsubscribed. I really looked forward to the emails about how people are going and how much they had lost and they were all doing so well, and yes there were some ups and down that is for sure… but hey that is all in the process. I would hate to be a friend of hers as she has no sympathy about the situation that WE ARE ALL GOING THROUGH.
So that said… if there is anyone that wants to start this journey with me and wants to be in a support group that will listen, plus have monthly challenges then come on and tell me as I would like to have a SUPPORT group as I need the constant emails and the constant friendship… Let’s do this?
Wow that was a long entry for me… and would like your feedback please… be gentle.
Chubby Mum
posted on 10:30 a.m

Tuesday, 22 February 2005

G String

Hello everyone...
I have come to the conclusion that I have to GET OFF MY ARSE AND GET THIS WEIGHT OFF. I really can't understand why with all the exercise I am doing that I am not loosing more. Like I loose one week and gain the next it is just bizarre.
So I am sorting out my exercise for this week and it goes like this. Monday - Kickboxing (taebo as some call it) 1 hourWednesday - Stump 1 hourThursday - Kickboxing 1 hour
So in points that is 39 points extra this week.I am going to take half those points of 19.
I AM GOING to drink my water. I mean I am soooo slack on this. I think I am drinking my 2 litres a day but I might not be.
I can loose more I know I can. Last week was atrocious for me! I just wanted to eat eat eat... I have never had it that bad with my monthly before but last week I just couldn't get full and it worried me as I don't want to go off my life change.
I do feel that since I have started this change I want to do more with the family but after this terrible week I was depressed on Friday and just wanting to blob on the weekend and I don't want that anymore.. I don't want to be sooo depressed like I was on Thursday Friday... I want to be happy and I want to look in the mirror and feel happy and not what does anyone see in this person that looks like she is pregnant (as my tummy sticks out... hubby says for a big person I don't have a big arse it is all out front).
Well anyway my mum just phoned me at work and said "Telecom phoned and said that your G String is ready... OMG I just burst out laughing as she didn't realise what she had said. She said that she had asked the guy if she was correct and said G string and he said yes..." so I said to her it isn't a G string it is Jetstream he he he and we just couldn't stop laughing... especially knowing how big I am and me having a G String is soooo out of the question he hee....
Anyway I will write again later. Hope everyones day's are going well.
Chubby Mum
posted on 12:32 p.m

Monday, 21 February 2005


Ok... so I am not as grumpy as I was on Friday that is for sure.
This week has been an eye opener for me that is for sure. Deep down in my subconcious I think I will always be fat... I can't comprehend how I can loose this massive amount of weight and this week I was trying to stop myself from going any further. There are people out there that have already lost their 5 kilos and started the same time as me. Yes I am doing the exercise every week and really enjoying it but this week I have been out of control with the food. I can't quite get my head around the fact that I have lost 4 kilos but in my mind it feels like more and when I look at it... it isn't more it is a meazley amount of 4 kilos.. I know at least I have taken it off and not put it on but my mind is like cheating me into thinking that I am a slim 60 kilos instead of my big 149.5 kilos. It is so depressing.
Went out for dinner last night and OHHHH I wish I hadn't. We went to a Mongolian restaurant where you can choose your meat and veges (raw) and they cook them in front of you. I went twice so I had two plates of veges and meat and rice and OMG I paid for it that last as my tummy was out of control and I was so uncomfortable.
So maybe that was a good thing as I know now that before my lifestyle change I could have eaten three plates and the dessert as well and I couldn't even eat the two plates without it being soooo bad in my tummy. But it has made me think that I do this because I feel like I have been deprived through this change but I haven't been deprived... I haven't! I can eat what I like as long as it is moderation... but I want it to come off faster... and I know deep down I KNOW that it can't come off faster but I want it to be I soooo want it do be.
I started reading another diary today and when I look at the ladies before and after pictures I wished that it was me... and it would be a million years before that happened with me... will I keep up with this? Or will I give up once again. I think for now I am going to stick with it.. but why don't I loose the amount that other people loose a week and some of them aren't even doing exercise. I just wonder if it is worth it...
Here I go yo yo-ing with my mind again.
I know you don't get anything without struggling! But years of struggling and thinking about it isn't that just a nightmare? How did all you guys do it? Why did you do it? Email me if you can... I would love to know your thoughts.
See yaChubby Mum

Saturday, 19 February 2005


Have you ever had a day where you just felt grumpy!! That is how I feel this morning and nothing can get me out of it. I am in such a bad mood that I can feel the wrinkles. I think it is because I feel like I am getting a cold. I feel tired and bitchy and moody and I haven't had that many emails and I just wanted to read emails this morning and there is hardly anyone. So that is how I feel today!!!
I might write a little more this afternoon... but I don't know if I will be any less grumpier.
Chubby Mum
OK I am back and feeling less grumpy after morning tea with friends. Isn’t it funny how when you listen to others problems yours don’t seem so bad at all. I woke up in such a mood but after going to morning tea with my work friends I don’t feel so bad.
A couple of them are going through an atrocious time with their bosses that I just wanted to go and hug my boss. I really love working here.. I know where I stand and if she has a problem she is straight forward and you know that she is the sort of person that is for policies and rules and that she doesn’t stray from them and it keeps me in the know because as long as I am doing things right then there is no problem. She is easy to talk to and really I haven’t EVER had a boss that I have gotten on so well with. She is mindfull to let me do my job knowing that I will do it and that she can get on with hers… and there aren’t that many bosses out there that do that.
So really the day is starting to turn around a little. Yayyyy
Thanks Janine for your email! I am glad someone saw it this morning and it cheered me up too. P.S I hope you get that job hun!!! I really do!.
Yayyy it is Friday.. .and the funny thing is is that I don’t usually update in here till night time after all the stuff for the day has happened but I am in a writing mood.
Been really slack with the water this week and I just want a V to wake me up. I am not too sure if other countries have V’s so if you do please tell me as it would be interesting to know. I don’t have coffee in summer that much so V’s keep me going through the day.
Anyway I am going to update again later... I feel like writing sooo much today.
Ciao (for now) P.S don't forget to put yourself on my Guestmap (down the bottom) would love to know who is reading. THANKS
Chubby Mum

Thursday, 17 February 2005

Full on day

Well I am updating this today (Thursday).
Was such a full on day today but when I think about what I have done I don't think it is that full.
Took youngest to creche, then hubby to work and then oldes son to school. Stayed there for a while and teacher was a little unhappy that I couldn't stay and help. BUT OMG I offered on the first day back that I would go in as parent helper on a Wednesday if she needed me and she said for the first 6 weeks she has someone on a Wednesday so I organised myself. I organised to do my stump class at the gym... which is a mixture of step and pump (weights). So when she was giving me this face I said "you did tell me for the first six weeks you didn't need me and I can't do any other day" OMG for crying down the sink I wish she would make up her mind. Sometimes I dont know whether she wants me there or not as she never says thank you and then when I am there she spouts out all these things to do an doesn't explain what they are.... I mean I am no teacher so I don't know why they are doing it etc... but expects that I know. Never have I heard her say thank you... which really grates me but I do it for my son and not her anyway. Because at least I get to know what he is learning and how so I can help at home with teaching him.
So anyway after getting away from there I went home and was supposed to meet a friend for a coffee but she said she couldn't make it till the afternoon.
So went and took mum into town and then headed off for the gym. It was my first time at this class so I felt a little nervous about what it was but I enjoyed it. With my knees I couldn't get on the step but I did it on the ground which as far as I am concerned at least I am doing the exercise. It was fantastic doing the weights as well and I had really sore arms for the rest of the day but at least I know I was doing the right thing if I could feel it he he.
So when that was finished I had to go and get mum from town and then went home and picked up son from school and then had my friend over for the afternoon and then the taxi service began again he he he... always feel like I am a taxi for everyone as we only have one car.
After I had gone and gotten second son from creche and hubby from work it was a reallllly quick eat dinner and go to the school for a parents evening to tell us about the coming year and what they wanted to achieve with our kids etc. So when we finally got home I was sooo tired and moody as the day was just too full on for me.
That is why I didn't update last night... Sorry everyone.
I did manage to catch up on some diaries though as I am addicted to reading them now... it is like a book that you get into and don't want it to finish that you can't wait to get to the next chapter (day ;-))
Had two chocolate mint biscuits tonight... I felt bad in a way but with the TOM I didn't really care... I have missed having chocolate for 5 weeks now and it felt good to have it. When it is TOM that is the only time that I realllllly want chocolate. But I made sure I put them down in my points so that isn't too bad and I worked my backside off at stump to get extra points.
Yayyy the new series of Charmed is back on and I am sooo happy. I have missed it that is for sure.
Anyway signing off for now.. hope everyone has had a full on day too.

Wednesday, 16 February 2005

5th Week

I have been pretty slack with my diary in the last week. It isn't because I don't want to write in here just that my life has gotten really hectic.

Today is Tuesday and I went for my weigh in at Weight Watchers tonight... can't say I am absolutly pleased but I can understand why.... I gained 200grams which isn't too bad as I have my monthly coming this week (usually feel heavier just before and during grrrr). So 200 isn't that bad. I have been really good with the exercise with 2 hours of Kick boxing and 2 1/2 beach walks in the weekend so it was ok for exercise and I didn't overindulge with food and kept to my points sooo hey 200 grams is nothing at all.

I think the reason I was a little dissapointed was because I wanted to get my first 5 kilo star and only had 800 to go.. but hey I will do better this week and get that bloody star this week coming.
I have planned for tomorrow to do a step with weights class, then Thursday doing the kick boxing class, some walking in the weekend and Monday night kickboxing... so hey my exercise is sorted. I have to make sure I have all my water this week too... I tend to slack a little with the water.

You know I have to say it but my BLONDE friend I think is finally getting the friendship thing. Usually (the last 10 years anyway) she has been quite self absorbed and never ever thought about anyone or anything that wasn't happening to her. But today I got an email.... about our kickboxing class last night. She said in the email that she was proud of me last night (in bracket said she wasn't trying to sound condensending) but the "Chubby Mum" last year wouldn't have stayed in class by herself (as BLONDE had a date she left early). So I suppose that was a really great thing for her to say.

At WW tonight they were giving brave stars out and she put up her hand and I was wondering what she was going to say and she said that she thought that I should get a star and told them about the kick boxing class last night and how I stayed... Wow you could have blown me over.
Sometimes BLONDE shocks me and I realise why there is a reason I am friends with her. I am getting to like her more in the last month since we have been doing the WW and exercise. I also think that she has changed since she has left her husband too maybe she isn't stressed as much anymore because she isn't with him I don't know.

So I have another week to find out if I get my first 5 kilos. Why is it so hard? I can't believe that me being as big as I am that I can't loose it a little faster at the start. I don't quite understand how with all the exercise I am doing and the food I am eating and keeping within the points that I am not doing this! That there isn't a loss every week. Apart from the fact that I have had 2 gains in 5 weeks (one 300grams and one 200 grams)I don't think I am doing too bad. I just want that star! I want to keep loosing it. I want to be 100 kilos I know my goal weight is supposed to be 75 but I want to be 100 kilo's and I think I would be happy at that weight.

My WW leader looked at my tracker last week and said that I should be trying to eat my dairy and to change the mince to premium but that is all she could see was the problem. She said I vary my food so it isn't because it wasn't a varied diet. So I tried that this last week and well I gained 200grams... so who knows aye.

I just want it to come off. I want to be healthy. I want to go and buy some nice clothes and not pay the earth. I don't want to be stared at anymore.

Anyway enough of my blabbing
Chubby Mum

Monday, 14 February 2005

Energised Today

Woke up this morning and the sleep wasn’t as bad as I thought since we weren’t in our own bed. I woke up feeling like I was on top of the world. We were at the beach and the place we are staying at was like dreamland. It had bi fold doors for the whole lounge (now we have them in our house but you don’t expect it at a Bach it is more like a holiday home). We went to the beach at 9.30am and the boys thought that the shells and the sand were fantastic. 3 year old was a little scared of the water so he stayed at the white sand bank for a while making sand castles. 5 year old and hubby played in the water and got so wet and absolutely enjoyed it. 5 year old feel and got a mouth full of salt water and hubby and I couldn’t stop laughing it was so funny, needless to say 5 year old wasn’t happy he he he.

Had subway for lunch… soooo yummy and only 4.5 points Yayyyyy. Also had a V OMG I am soo addicted to V’s. Got back to the Bach and the window in the front of the Bach was broken (my heart just sank as my laptop was inside that room) Thought maybe the window was already broken.. but went inside and the glass was all over the room and in the bags and nothing was taken (PRAISE THE HEAVENS) so we had to get hold of our friend for him to organize the insurance for having the window fixed and so now are waiting for the glazier to come. It was good in a way that it happened as hubby took the boys to the supermarket to get some supplies and I had time to sit around and just read.

I must confess I copied Helena (from Wellington’s) diary and printed it out at work so I could look at it in the weekend. I really liked reading about her days and felt like we were so much alike. I feel like I have known her for years after reading her diary and OMG she has done fantastically in the first 7 months (that is all I printed he he) and I just want to read more. I makes me even more determined to get this weight off as if she can so can I. But OMG she does so much exercise in the week I don’t think I could cope with that much with 2 kids as well. My three days a week is enough instead of 6 Ouch 6..

Ok… will write again later gotta go now.P.S I have added to days worth of entries.posted on 9:10 p.m

Saturday, 12 February 2005


1 month today (in month dates) since I have been on my lifestyle change. Went to work today and boss was away today. I felt a little relieved but not because of her but because I could be a little more relaxed at work and did a couple of emails to friends that I haven’t done in a while.
At about 12 o’clock I had a shock of my life. Janine phoned me from Wellington. I really didn’t expect it at all and it was nice but strange (for me) as I wasn’t prepared to talk to her you know.

We just basically had a five minute call but it was good in a way to get it over and done with (the first time talking I mean). We were supposed to be talking to each other on Thursday night but in a way I was glad that we didn’t manage to talk as I was really stuffed after kickboxing as I really went all out at the gym to get this darn weight off. I felt so energized and I love this instructor as she makes you think and the movements are a little more difficult (some of the skinny people couldn’t even do it he he he) and I felt sooo proud that I could and they couldn’t he he. Enough skiting from me he he.

Took off for Whangamata this evening at 6.30 it was fantastic to go off into the beautiful country and the weather wasn’t too wonderful it was raining but not hot and that was the best thing ever. Hubby was explaining to 5 year old about the mountains and about the gorge and how the river made this lovely scenic entrance to the other side of the mountains etc. It was really good to hear my 5 year old asking questions and enquiring about life. 3 year old was taking it in but didn’t quite understand I reakon.

I felt proud to be a mum and a wife and finally getting out as a family was great. I have my mum living with us but that isn’t bad.. It is great getting away from her now and then though. I mean she lives with us and not us living with her but she does tend to make the mood of the house. If she is in a bad mood we all seem to get that… and if she is in a good mood then we are too. I had that as a kid as well. If she didn’t like something she would do the ignoring thing until someone asks her what is wrong and then she wouldn’t tell you. It is like making me feel guilty for something that I didn’t even know I did. So I feel so free when I am away. I feel bad about thinking that way as she does so much for us too and she looks after the kids during the day while I am at work etc. But the free feeling is wonderful that is why I moved out of home at and moved an hour and 15 minutes away because she was controlling me like that. My dad was so laid back compared to my mum and I knew if I told him anything then it would stay between us and I wouldn’t get a lecture for why he thought I shouldn’t be doing it.

It does sound like I don’t love my mum, but I do, just that I feel a bit constrained when living with her like it is her family and I am still 12 years old not 34 ya know?

Anyway on the food issue I was really good. There were so many tempting things I could have had since we were on “holiday” but I looked at KFC and thought greasy and a lot of the other places too didn’t look good. But by the time we got to Whangamata there wasn’t any supermarkets open (OMG they shut at 8pm how archaic) so we went and got a steak burger with now mayo or sauce just onions and beetroot and it was fantastic… It felt like I was being naughty but it was nice and I didn’t go over my points either. Wow how victorious I felt knowing I didn’t choose the KFC and also that my husband was letting me make the choice on my own so that I wasn’t pushed… How great.

posted on 9:01 p.m.

Thursday, 10 February 2005


Tell me do you have kids? OMG tonight my husband had to do some work on a businesses database and so the night has NOT worked smoothly at all. My youngest son just decided to be the child from hell and now is crying in his bed because he doesn't want to go to sleep. I feel like a big meany but it is my time now. Is that bad?
I went shopping with my mum today and I can't wait... Can't wait to go and buy Lingerie when I am small. OMG if you are a big person you will know how hard it is to buy nice undies and bra that is in your size and isn't black, white or OMG puke colour! I want to be able to go in and not feel like someone is thinking "you should not be here lady nothing will fit" Oh like I don't wear undies or a bra... I want to go in and buy something with pretty little daisies on it or something in a pink colour or a lovely teal colour... I don't know something that matches and something that says Wooooo lady you look good.
OK yeah that is laughable at this time but one day I am going to go to a place that sells that pretty stuff and buy buy buy.
Yayyy hubby just got back and said that the guy he was doing the database for has offered his batch at Whangamata for the weekend.. Woohooo for us!!! so we are going away for the weekend...
Anyway I have got 27 emails I have to catch up so I will see ya later...
Ciao for nowChubby Mum
posted on 7:55 p.m.

Wednesday, 9 February 2005

Weigh in day

Well this was my weigh in night and I have been fretting about it all day because of the hen's party in the weekend you just wouldn't believe.
I lost.... I lost.... I lost.... 1.7 kilos. I can't believe that I have lost that this week. Maybe it will catch up on me next week. But I am going to be sooooo diligent this week and count everything and drink all my water to get myself back on track. OMG I am on my way to my mini goal of 6 kilos by the 22 February 2005.
Thank you to all that have been reading my diary. I have had a couple of emails from fellow New Zealanders and I am soooo happy about this. All the encouragement I can get and I can give is only going to make loosing the weight all the better.
Well after 22 February 2005 goal of 6 kilos is loosing 4 more kilos before the 11 April 2005 as I want to drive down to Wellington for my friends auction on the Mitre 10 Dreamhome houses and have her see a difference in me. I know that people I live with are not going to notice the difference as much as they live with me but if my friend notices then it will be a huge buzz for me to keep going.
Anyway I want to keep going and writing but hubby is moaning that it is 10pm and we need to get an early night (at least once this month he he he).
Ciao for now
Chubby Mum
posted on 9:54 p.m

Tuesday, 8 February 2005


Quite disgusted in myself this week.
The only time I was really naughty was at the hen's party but I really can't get it off my mind..
I just don't want to be gaining anymore. I know this has to be a life change but I have not had anything naughty for over a month and I have only lost 2.3kilos in total it just feels sucky.
I know I have to get off my arse and stop complaining at least I have lost that but I don't want to go on for years feeling like I am deprived... that is why I don't ever stick to it.
I didn't do my kick boxing last week but back on tonight and I went for a walk last night. It felt good after I had done it but didn't want to go and do it that is for sure.
Wish there was a miracle pill that would just take it away... yes I know that wouldn't work because if I didn't change my habits it would all just come back on again.
I walk down the road and feel like I am skinny and then when I catch a side glimpse in a window or something I just feel so depressed. I do feel good about myself most days and I do feel like I have beautiful face and I am forever getting compliments on how beautiful my smile is but I want to wear those tank tops and I want to wear shorts so I don't feel so hot in summer. I want people to notice the loss of weight and I know it is only 2.3 kilos but I wish someone would notice it... how can I get to feel good about myself if no one else can see it. I have been told that most people you don't notice they have lost anything till 20 kilos comes off OH MY GOD I am going to be in my 60's before anyone notices.
Yes this is a complainy bitchy post and thank god I have you as my friends because you know what I am going through. OMG FAT QUEEN how do you do it? How did you loose so much weight in such a small space of time.
I looked in our paper for tap lessons and thought that would be an interesting hobbie.. so I have to get the courage up to phone them now he he he
Seems like it will be a big step for me (no pun intended) if I manage to get my backside there.
You don't hear of too many older people taking tap lessons. The other thing I would like to try is Ceroc... now that sounds like another thing I would like to do.
Why is it that some friends you can talk openly too and others you keep things from them (if you haven't guessed I am talking about my BLONDE friend again). I find that I want to tell her everything that is happening in my life but I do know there are things she doesn't tell me either.
I think I am searching for a friend that I can be totally honest with... I did have that friend and she moved away... and I miss her sooo much but we do email and occasionally I go to visit her but she is 8 hours drive away from me. I do want a friend that I can spend time with and talk to openly... I think that is why I have gotten so addicted to this diary is because I can say whatever in it and not fear the repercussions.
You wouldn't believe how many times I tried to get this link to go so you will have to paste into a browser sorry... have no patience today he he he
This link s a competition that we have here in NZ and my bridesmaid won it out of like 250 people to go on the show with her fiancee (they are in the blue). This is the girl that I can talk to about anything and the did all the stuff from October to December and it films from tonight till April and then they auction the houses off and whoever wins the votes (that viewers at home do) they get to win the house that they did up... My husband and I help out for one weekend and we almost died once we got home (driving there and back 8 hours each way didn't help either). I don't know how they managed for like 6 weeks to do what they did. We only had like 5 hours sleep the whole weekend and was shattered for a week afterwards.
I hope she wins... they live in a 2 bedroom unit with 3 kids under 7 and they deserve to win. They are the kindest most loving couple I have ever met in my life.
Anyway I will stop chattering on.
See ya tomorrow
Chubby Mum
posted on 12:56 p.m.

Monday, 7 February 2005


My day was ok today. At least I managed to go for a walk tonight even though it was only 1/2 an hour I still managed to enjoy it.
I feel discouraged this week and that is probably why I haven't really written in here this week properly. I want to loose this weight but haven't felt motivated and quite depressed really. My support group hasn't really been online this week and really most of them had a good reason for not being on with family problems and all but I think I have been a little down because they haven't been online. I have not been on a high this week and sort of started going back on my diet a little.
Especially Saturday when I went to the hen's party. But hey I think I got back on track today. But I do think that this Tuesday night I would have gained and not lost because I haven't done my kick boxing and I have felt like the food I have eaten has not been right even though my husband has been weighing it and keeping track (perfectly I might add) he really wants to encourage me to do this.
I really do have the best husband in the world in so many ways and I don't really appreciate him near enough to what I should.
I will have to think about how I am going to treat him for his birthday as he deserves to be treated properly for once. I got a bit creeped out when BLONDE said that she would like to buy him his outside speakers for the back yard... it didn't make me feel good at all. We brought them anyway (she didn't know this at the time) I am glad though because they were something that she knew I wanted to get him. I don't want her to buy him a present... I know that sounds like a bitch but she sometimes doesn't know when to stop... and if she got him something better than me his wife it just makes me feel uneasy. Why would she buy something expensive for him anyway... it isn't like we buy her birthday presents and she didn't get me anything for my birthday.
Oh my T.O.M should be starting this week BOOHOOO.
Well back into the kickboxing tomorrow night woohoooo is all I have to say Woohoooo!
Well guys I am going to bed now and I will try and do some more in the diary tomorrow that would be more interesting.
Thanks Queen for your entry today! I am looking in to doing tap!! just a little scared to go by myself. But I have to go and do something like that to get me meeting other people and to stop being afraid to get out and let everyone see me or whisper behind my back.
Chubby Mum
posted on 9:55 p.m. >

Sunday, 6 February 2005

Hens Party

I was really bad food wise today. But I went to a hens party from 12noon till 6pm and had a fantastic time. We went to the members lounge of the racing track... it was fantastic and I had so much fun and too much alcohol and food but I have been really good for a month so I didn't really mind at all.I actually one a trifector he he he and won $11.50 LOL.
So maybe this weeks weigh in isn't going to be good... but hey there is always next week. Plus when I am being really good I bloody gain!!!
I am feeling bitter about weight loss today! I just can't understand how people gain when they are being good.
Oh well I can't wait for Monday to go back to kick boxing OHHHH Yayyy
See ya... not really in the right mood to write on here tonight.

CIAO Chubby Mum

Saturday, 5 February 2005

Question: When reading your favourite Journals....

When reading your favorite weight loss journals/blogs:
1. Name one thing that you like the most about them.
I like that they are people just like me and I can relate to them. That if they can do it and they were my size then I can and I have to just keep going. I know that I have only lost 2.4 kilos (5.28 pounds) but I am on my way… and hey you have to start somewhere. I used to get frustrated (when I was dieting years ago)when I didn’t either loose enough or gain and now I am voicing that I don’t like it but I am not really that upset that I will not keep going. I think it is because of reading the weight loss journals and also that they are encouraging me too and they don’t really know me as a person just what they are reading. I makes me feel on a high to read theirs as it is like reading about my life. I don’t want to be like me anymore… I want to be a better me.
It is also good to read about their day and not have to respond!!! Meaning sometimes you want to hear that people are going through the same thing but just don’t want to respond just yet… ummm like…. when you have a friend over and she is telling you what a crap day she is having etc but you don’t really want to answer (even though you sympathise with them) but you just want to listen and sort of want to know what they think they can do to help themselves… I suppose I am not making any sense…. Not that I don’t want to answer because I am a bitch but because sometimes I want to hear their problems and know I have the same problems and it makes you think of how you can change your life now that it isn’t as big of a deal for you as everyone goes through it…GEESH I can ramble on he he he.
2. Name one thing that you don't like about them.
I don’t like that I can’t tell if they are telling the truth… but I look back at what I am writing and know that I have said everything that was going on and how I am feeling so why wouldn’t they be doing the same thing. I hate it that I don’t have a friend that is close by that is the same weight and going through the same thing as me that I can go to meetings with and to be as friendly with and as encouraging with as the journals I put notes in. I think I am doing this journaling because I am lonely and the people on the net are giving me the encouragement that I need… not that my lovely husband isn’t giving me encouragement but you know that your other half is always going to say what you want to hear and if you hear it from someone else it is like well maybe they are right ya know.
3. Name one thing that you would like to see in them.
More photos of people… more about their gut feelings on how they are going to achieve this and what they have realllly struggled with along the way. Like what is holding them back and how they are dealing with that.. maybe they could have lost more and know why they didn’t… Maybe someone who has tried like I have with the exercise and the food and didn’t loose or gained like I have and really doesn’t understand why they did either… I am not too sure about this question really… I wouldn’t be reading them if I didn’t like what was in there.. I get’s to be a bit of addiction really and wish that sometimes they would write more than one entry as I love reading about them.
So that is what I think... haven't re read to see if it sounds right he he he.
OMG It is sooo hot here today I am just not happy ;-(

Friday, 4 February 2005


What a sticky night it is here... I am sooo hot and sticky and hating it with a passion.
Yayyy only one day and then the weekend woohoo.
I have tried so hard to be extra good so far this week and today decided to have a WW Thai Chicken for lunch and it was the worst thing I had tasted in such a long time I was disgusted. It had a little stone in it that chipped my tooth as well.. GRRRRR so I went and got some sushi as the rest of the stuff was wayyyy too bad but I had to have something to eat for lunch as I was sooo hungry.
I didn't do any exercise today but I am ok with that since I went for a walk yesterday.
I am like addicted to this diary that I come in like five times a day looking for comments and I love it.... I love the fact that people are actually interested in my weight journey. I know I am addicted also to reading everyone’s diary's everyday too.... SO KEEP POSTING it is keeping me going and on track. If I know that you all are reading and writing and loosing the weight then I am following in your footsteps.
My husband is moaning at me to get off the computer and come to bed so I better go. I wanted to write more in here but I can't. I am thinking that from tomorrow I might post what I eat in the day to see what everyone thinks. Anyway Good night everyone.
Love Chubby Mum

Thursday, 3 February 2005

Frightened for my youngest son

Hi guys..

Well what a day... hubby and I took the day off and oldest son was at school and youngest in crèche.... yayyy so we took them and came back and slept till 12 it was fantastic... we needed the sleep to catch up.

The day was a non really.... but after dinner... My mother screamed (soooo loud) she was screaming so loud that the pit in my stomach was like sinking...

I was running around trying to find out what was happening... it was like I thought she had fallen (she is 73 years old) or she had had a major accident.

Then found her in my youngest (3 year old) room with the chest of drawers in her hands trying her hardest to get it off him. OMG I thought he was like damaged or something he was soooo white and I couldn't stop crying!

He was fine I got the chest of drawers off him he was just shocked and had a bruised chin but he kept saying to me "I was frightened mummy" I couldn't stop the tears as I made sure he told me (while I was lying on the floor next to him) what was sore and if anything was feeling weird he only showed us his chin.

So we got a cold flannel and stroked his head etc... cut a long story short he was fine just was frightened. I took him and hugged him on the couch while hubby took all the clothes out of the bloody thing and put it in another set of drawers (one that he couldn't pull over) and the tears were coming out and he kept wiping them and saying don't cry mummy I was just frightened... OMG I was just so scared that he was really hurt.

Anyway so that was my day.

Went for a 45 minute walk with hubby once they were asleep (mum looked after the boys) to shake it off and was fine afterwards. Yayyyyy
So back on track for this loss of weight... I am
going to get this off!!! I am.

Chubby Mum

The Pink Shorts

Evening guys.... a friend sent this through my support group today and it touched me and I thought that maybe others would want to read it.


I've been out of town all weekend at a triathlon with one of my marathon-training partners. It was SO exciting and even though I was a bystander and not an active participant, I had a blast just watching everything that was going on.

My friend has participated in over 25 triathlons. Triathlons are comprised of three events: swimming, cycling, and running. At this particular tri, the distances were a < mile open lake swim, 12.5 miles on the bike, and a 5K (3.1 mile) run, all done consecutively. Transitioning from one sport to the other is a real art and was the most fun to watch. I am in awe of these people. They are so far above me athletically that I just stand there with my mouth open and gawk!
After my friend had finished her events (she took 17th in her age division, which is great!) we went to get her bike, which she had to take apart. We were adjacent to the end of the running course that winded the last < mile up a hill and then into the park, where the finish line was. At this time, almost all of the 900 athletes had finished and were eating, drinking and relishing in their success at the after race party in the park. Bands were playing, dogs were catching Frisbees, the beer tent was packed and the awards ceremony was just about to get underway.
Then, we all saw her.

Alone on the running course, trudging up the hill, was a woman in pink shorts. Number 895 to be exact. She was 30 years old. I know this because they mark your age and number on you calf with a black marker to identify you for the race. She looked in pain. She was gasping for breath. But she was moving and had a very determined look on her face. She had about < mile to go to finish.

Apparently, lots of people saw her, because the announcer who was just about to start the awards ceremony asked everyone to give her a big round of applause, which we all did. As she crossed the finish line she lifted her arms in victory, like Sylvester Stallone did in Rocky. The crowd went wild!

This woman did not "look" like an athlete. In fact, she was very overweight. In the sea of lean, shredded, muscular, hard bodies that surrounded her this woman stood out like a sore thumb. But here she was, joining the ranks of THEM: the triathletes. I wanted to go up and kiss her!
As the awards ceremony got underway, trophies were given out to the winners and recognition given to those who had especially good course times. The male who had the best all around time was from New Zealand and he gave a short speech after receiving his award. Then, the female who had the best all around time was introduced. She's a professional athlete and just took 2nd at nationals, so she is hot stuff in the track world. She got up to the microphone and thanked everyone, then stated she wanted to especially acknowledge someone who had really inspired her. Of course, everyone thought she was going to introduce her coach or someone in her family.
She looked straight ahead and said, "I'd like the woman in the pink shorts over there to stand up because I want her to know that to me, SHE is the real winner here today." She was pointing to the woman who had just finished!

The woman in the pink shorts stood up and everyone applauded wildly. Then, the professional athlete motioned for her to come up to the microphone. Pink Shorts was hesitant, but made her way through the swarm of people and soon was up at the front of the crowd of almost 1000.
The professional athlete hugged her. More cheers. Then, the pro athlete gave the microphone to Pink Shorts.

She took the microphone and in a choking voice, this is what she said:
"Thank you, everyone. You know, months ago I didn't think I could do this. But I want to thank my two friends, Chris and Lisa, who kept telling me,`You can do it. You can do it. Keep going.' Today, when I didn't think I could do it anymore I kept telling myself, `You can do it. You can do it. Keep going." And I did it."
Then, she burst into tears.
Along with all the rest of us.

You could have heard a pin drop between the gasps and sobs. Here was a large woman, doing her first triathlon, not looking the least bit like she should be there, bringing all of these elite athletes to their knees. IT WAS AWESOME!!! This woman was teaching all these super-competitive people a great lesson. This is what it's all about. It was the entire weekend wrapped up in one sentence: "Today, when I didn't think I could do it anymore I kept telling myself YOU CAN DO IT. YOU CAN DO IT. Keep going."

And that is my message for the week. Keep going. Even when you think you cannot do it. Even when it's too hard. Even when you feel like hitting that snooze button to miss your workout, or grabbing that last cupcake, or not drinking your water, or having that pat of butter on your potato, or not doing that last rep, or blowing off your walk because it's drizzling, or having that piece of pizza crust or skipping your aerobics tape.

Keep going. You can do it.

So don't tell me that you didn't have a little tear in your eyes?

Check you soon.
Chubby Mum

PS I will write about my day a little later... so check back he he

Wednesday, 2 February 2005

Yayyy school's back today

My oldest son started back at school today (5 1/2 years old) he was sooo happy and couldn't wait. I tell you he was counting down the days that is for sure. A lot of his class from last term were still in the group there were some that weren't and they were mainly the ones that were quite roudy so I was really pleased. It looks like the bunch of kids they have are really good. He was happy to be back with his friend Sam and the glow in his face to be there was fantastic.
I didn't update last night as it was just too hot here OMG there was no breeze and we were sweating like anything all day. I hate days like that. I have my weigh in tonight and I am really scared. I keep feeling like I haven't kept to my points but I have really. I have had a couple of days with dessert (WW desserts though) but if feels like I cheated even though they were in my points.

I walked my son to school and walked back today and there is a hill in it to and was sweating like a pig when I got to school and then walked home again. A good half an hour walk I would say so that was good. I didn't go to kick boxing last because it was a long weekend and they didn't have the classes going. I was sooo angry about that but hey we went for a walk in the morning so that was ok. It doesn't get my heart rate up as I tend to be lazy when I do the walking but with the kick boxing I do more as I know people are watching and I cannot get out of the hour class without feeling like a failure so I do it.

I have been really thinking about my BLONDE friend lately. I do speak negatively about her in here.. now it isn't that I don't like her I really do and I really love the fact that she is sticking with me through this and going to the gym with me too.

I had a friend (really good friend that is trueful and straight to the point) that said sometimes she thinks that BLONDE is only friends with me because I am a big person and it makes her look good... and everytime I have tried to loose weight she starts on a diet or a exercise regime too... and I kind of thought about that and she is right but maybe she is doing it to get closer to me as sometimes I don't want to let her in. I have this don't fully trust her attitude and it isn't all that good to do that either. I don't even know why I don't trust her maybe it is because I feel like she is competing with me all the time and anytime I say something that I want to do or have she gets it first.. yes it is nice to know she likes my taste but it gets to the stage that I don't want to tell her anything.

I feel so good for doing the exercise today. So far this morning I had the WW fruity cerealMilk
BananaCafe Latte Yoghurt 99%fat free soo yummy

and hubby is now making a cheese sandwich as I really want some cheese today yummy.
and my water of course.

It is such a hot day already and it is only 12 o'clock.

Anyway I might leave it for now till I come back from WW and see how much I have either gained or lost.. hmmmm bit scared!

Crap Crap!!

I went for a walk today and I went for a walk on Sunday and last Thursday I did kick boxing and I have kept to my points again and this week I gained 300 grams… I really don’t get this weight watcher plan!!! I really don’t.

Even talked to hubby and he can’t work out why either. We have been so good and our portions have been what the weight watcher book has said as we are using weight watcher recipes…
I have had my water too. Ok I didn’t do kick boxing on Monday as they were closed but I went for a walk to replace it. Basically my week has sucked…

I am thinking about changing my points system to be like this plan ( and seeing if it works for me because this is certainly not working… I am going to keep up with what I have been doing with weight watchers for the next week and work out the days that I want more food and the days that I don’t really need to have as much and see if it works.

I have tried hard and I know you guys are probably sitting there saying the scales don’t lie but believe me... I tried… first week I lost 400 grams and second week I lost 2.3 kilos and this week I gained 300grams… it just doesn’t make sense and the meals were all planned and points accounted for and portions weren’t over what was suggested for the meals either. Also my husband cooked them all and he is doing it by the book so I don't have a chance to cheat and he is giving me the lunches and snacks too so I can get on the right track.

This is by no means an email to say I am quitting because I am not. I am tracking and I am keeping my journal and I am reading motivational journals and diaries and I am trying with the exercise. I even walked my son to school today which had some hills to it to get there and that was a half an hour walk. I was sweating like anything with this hot weather too. I had a cold bath 20 minutes before going to the meeting and was told that with all the heat that my body might have stored the water and it could have held the weight… now that is not saying that this is an excuse because it isn’t but hey ya never know.

Anyway onward and downward for the next week.


Chubby Mum