Thursday, 30 March 2006

Last Post

This is my last post!

Good bye

Scared for you to read this post

Ok... I am going to be honest on here.....

I am really happy that Kris will be joining my weight watcher meeting from this Tuesday and I am happy (I suggested that she joins). I suggested that she joins because she is going through a tough time and personally I don't think she is getting the support she needs at her meeting. Mind you she needs to do this for herself as we can suggest and suggest but until she sorts out her food then it will not happen.

I am glad she is coming to WW please believe me but I am a little worried now after thinking about it too.

Now this is going to maybe (maybe) sound selfish but this is the only way I can think of to get my feelings out. I have been losing since not telling my weight because it hasn't been a competition (in my mind) and Kris can lose weight faster than me and it puts me all out of wack having her lose that fast... now I am glad she is losing the weight I don't think that is the problem as she deserves to lose the weight but the problem is that I get upset when I do the same and watch my food really closely and I don't lose it as fast as her.

I know that steady wins the race and for me it has been steady and I am losing and not gaining and that is fantastic... I am so much calmer and happier since sorting my feelings and my routine out and keeping my weight loss to me. So it is going to be a challenge for her to be there at the meeting and there is no way that she won't know how much I lose because when I get the stickers for every 5 kilos and when I do they tend to ask how much altogether so she will get to know how much in total I have lost. Also my leaders are so supportive that they always ask how the week went and how much I lost and if I gain then they suggest things and they talk to me like they have known me for years and they are priming me to be a leader (and I would like to do that one day) I just have to get my head around it... I am the one that asked Kris to come and I would love her to be there.... now.... there is another thing I am worried about.

Kris and I had a talk last week because I felt quite upset when she had said that she was doing the gym with another lady (on her blog) and she hadn't said to me that she was still doing it with me.

I got quite upset about the fact that we have been doing exercise with each other for almost a year and she would just go and change her plans and go with a lady that she sees at WW and leave me out... Kris said that she was assuming I would be doing it with them and never thought like that and that made me feel better but this jealousy thing was happening (with me) re this other lady because I enjoy going with Kris to the gym and I enjoy spending time with her as a friend.... and sometimes when there is three doing exercise ..... it just isn't the same. I do feel left out or like I am not good enough for her anymore... or like a disgarded piece of equipment.

I cannot say this to Kris to her face only because I am not the sort of person that can do that to her face as it is a bit embarrasing and the words just don't come out (and that is my problem) but I am still feeling left out (which I have to deal with). I really wish she was doing this event training with me... I miss her doing it with me and I miss our friendship while doing it. I am doing well in the training and I am enjoying doing it with the ladies there but I miss feeling like there was someone there that knew what I was going through and not always feeling like I am the only person there that goes slower. The ladies at the L.E.A.N class are fantastic and really supportive but it just isn't the same.

I haven't had a friend like this in ages and I am missing it and maybe I am feeling like maybe I should get off my backside and go and do some hobbies to meet new people or something.. hmmm might be something I can do in the next month. I need to find some more friends because it just isn't good feeling like this.

OMG... I feel like a teenager again.

So... anyway went to L.E.A.N event training today and pushed myself with the walking and jogging and Joy said to me when I got back to base that she has been watching me run and that I am a natural and my jog is straight and in time... she said a lot of people just can't get it but she feels that I am a natural runner... he he he he can't say that I feel that way at all at the moment. Feels like my tummy is going from side to side he he he. I worked so hard today that my calves are sore. We did so much training for the walking and running and the girls were talking about the dinner after the final event and it is going to be so much fun.

Got back and took Corbin to school and then Quinn and I went for a 3km bike ride... it was good to get out with him but a bit slow he he he. We are looking at a new bike for him this weekend as he needs a bigger one as he is going like a speedy consalis just to keep up with us as the wheels are soooo tiny.

Ok... now that I feel like a bitch for writing in here instead of facing my problems.... I will go and have lunch with hubby.

Love ya all.
Thanks for listening to my childish rambling.


Tuesday, 28 March 2006

I am in the zone

I am in the zone... that is how I feel today.

Today has gone so fast.

Started off with going to the Event training L.E.A.N and it was fantastic and I felt like I achieved. I am doing this guys... I am doing this....

A year ago I started on the treadmill and the speed was at 4.2 and I was struggling. In the past year I have gotten up to 5.0 with 2.5 incline and that was just getting comfortable.

Well today Crusher (my trainer) was going to start me on learning how to jog on the treadmill. OMG I was freaking out when she said that because I am scared that I am going to freak out while running and can't change it back to a walk fast enough he he he and fall off the end he he he....

so she started me off slowly today and said that by next week she wants me to be able to walk up to 6.0 and so today I thought.... I am the only one stopping me and I did 6.0 for 1 minute (at 2.5 incline) and then went back to 5.2 for 1 minute and kept that going for 15 minutes. OMG I was sweating like you wouldn't believe.

The bunch of ladies in the L.E.A.N were so supportive today. I said something about how am I going to do this and one lady said "I am going to help you!" then another lady said "when she isn't helping you I will help you and then another lady said the same thing... OMG what a wonderful bunch of ladies to support me like that when they are there to improve themselves but still find time to help me out too.

I am going to do this event wohooo I know I keep saying I feel fantastic but I DO because I finally have an exercise goal and ways to achieve it and it is keeping me going. I plan my walking after work and weekends and time myself and push myself and I think I am FINALLY getting it... that I need to do this and the more I am excited about it the more I push myself the better I get....

Yeah I know... everyone knows if you do that it will happen but until the light bulb goes on then nothing can happen and you can't push it to happen.

I thought that I would gain tonight at weigh in but I lost... OMG I said to wendy (the weigher) "don't tell me I have lost" she said "you sound like you don't want to lose" I said "no it isn't that it is because I haven't truly tracked this week and I have done a lot of exercise and I usually gain when I overdo the exercise" my WW Leader said "don't say usually! because your body changes all the time".

Hubby said that he thinks I have just gotten it under control now with the food and exercise and I can have little treats and it doesn't affect me that much. I am not losing weight fast but I am still losing so that is what counts with me. If it takes 10 years to lose the weight then that is what is going to happen.

I am having so many compliments lately and I even got one tonight from my weigher... she said a lady that I used to know (from WW and from when my son went to playcentre) she saw me walking in the weekend and thought I looked fantastic and if Wendy saw me would she tell me how great I looked.

OMG that just made my night and the fact that all the people behind me in the line heard too was a little bit of a buzz because a lot of them are new so they look at me and think I have just started this journey and don't realise how much I have really lost... so it was fantastic.

What a day! What a fantastic day!

Event training was the best, Weight Watchers was the best and also I had a meeting with the big wigs from Auckland at work tonight too for a fish and chip night (don't fear I didn't have fish and chips I decided to eat when I got home woohoo) and it happens that one of my bosses I know from Auckland when I used to live there. And the big boss from Australia and one from Auckland moved me into my new office and set up my computer (how down to earth is that, they didn't have to do that). We sat down with a couple of wines chatting and getting to know each other and I had a great time actually putting faces to names.

Ok enough of my great day... I am going to sit down and work out my plan for the week and what I am going to achieve this week.

Love ya all

Monday, 27 March 2006

Good Day

Had a good day today.

Boss and I talked heaps and got my new office half way sorted... still have to get the phone connected and the jetstream connected and then things will go off with bang he he he.

Enjoyed work and didn't leave till 5.15 when I was supposed to finish at 4.30.

I think I have so much more energy in the last week with all the walking I have been doing and I think it is because I am excited about a challenge.... It is scary thinking I am going to be walking 10km twice in one month but I hey if I achieve it what a thrill that is going to be.... plus getting to the finish line is what I am looking forward to. I am going to purchase some new sneakers in the next month as I have had my ones for a year now and use them every day so I am due for some new ones.

Ok the food hasn't been wonderful but I know I have to sort that out this week. I can't seem to balance my urge for more food when I am doing heaps of exercise... but I am starting to think about when the triggers happen etc

So excited about going to the L.E.A.N Event training tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a smaller group so that I can really take advantage of Joy's expertise. Tomorrow morning is going to be interesting that is for sure. In a way I am glad that Kris decided that it wasn't right for her, and is doing her own thing and going to the Beginners class because it is right for her and this is so right for me to challenge myself in what I want to do for a change as I am usually a follower and do what gets me to have company in exercise instead of doing it for me. But this is for me now and not because I wanted Kris for company (as I enjoy her company) but I can concentrate on doing this challenge and do it for me wohooo. Isn't lifestyle change an eye opener that you can do things by yourself and still enjoy it. I mean I used to think (last year) that I would enjoy exercise only if I had someone there with me but that isn't the case... exercise can be so exciting and fun and I think I get that now.

I think in the last week with the extra training by walking I have been concentrating on my muscles when I walk and focussing on how my body works under pressure has been such an eye opener for me. And I am enjoying it and buzzing he he he he.

Anyway I better buzz my way to watching Desperate housewifes he he he


Sunday, 26 March 2006

Rainy day but fantastic day

I had a really great day today even though it rained.

I got a phone call from Jaxx this morning to say she was in Hamilton and would I like to meet up. OH YEAH I wanted to but reallllly scared to meet her. Only because I have been chatting to Jaxx for 4 years now on and off and meeting in person is always a hard thing. I felt so tongue tied he he he but had a most fantastic chat to her and I can tell you she is an interesting lady and loved getting to know her today. Thanks Jaxx for a great chat and coffee... we will have to do it again sometime (and next time I won't be so nervous he he he).

The rest of the day was doing my cards and reading magazines and watching the olympics and jet sprint boats and 4 wheel drive show it was a great afternoon. I haven't relaxed like that in a very very long time. My husband has put me forward for a craft fair in a couple of weeks and get a table to sell them so that should be interesting that is for sure. I sold 2 cards last night so all up 22 cards without actually going out and selling them he he he so spending money here I come he he.

I do feel that I am going to gain this week. I feel like I have been eating too much this week and not been tracking. But I am not too worried about it because tomorrow I am back on track again.

Oh well I better get the boys in bed now.

Have a great night

Saturday, 25 March 2006

Training a blast

I am so proud of myself today!!

You will have to read to find out why he he.

Went to do groceries today and that took us an hour and it was good to get away from the kids for a while and spend time with hubby.

Had lunch when I came home and then I syked myself up to do a walk. I was supposed to go and do a walk of 4.5km today so that I could build up my training for the 10km. But I started and got to about 4km's then went to go home and thought NO I have more energy I think will keep going around and walk until I can't anymore.

I got almost home and felt quite dizzy but that was because I had finished my water and didn't have anymore but then about 5 seconds later I got like a second wind and a boost of energy and I cruised on home... so guess how many km's I did..

7.4 kilometres in 1 hour and 25 minutes. OK that is a long time but with practice before the Huntly Marathon I will do this. I cannot believe that I walked that far. I mean it is twice the km's than I have been doing and 40 minutes more in time but I can do this... I know I can and 6 weeks to achieve it. I am loving the challenge and striving for something and not just feeling like I am stuck in a rut doing the same old routine. I didn't realise until today how much I have improved.

Hubby at dinner took my hand and said "I am really proud of you!" I felt like crying when he said that tonight because it meant a lot to me that he said that.I have worked out a little training program so that I can achieve this and with the event training I reckon it is going to be good.

The L.E.A.N event training is going to be good too and when we do the walk etc afterwards we are all going out for dinner etc and spend some time with each other to congratulate each other. It will be good to go out with these ladies as they inspire me so much.

Got back and had a huge bath and shower and had dinner and I am now feeling the burn in my legs and arms he he he. I listened to my music while walking and boogying on down and singing (I think quite loud) and someone walked past me smiling... didn't realise they were behind me he he he oh dear... I was having fun he he he.

I have been feeling a lot hungrier lately that is for sure and I know because of doing more exercise but been craving more sweet stuff. I have to try and control that.Anyway I am going to watch the NZ netball in the commonwealth games now.


Thursday, 23 March 2006


I am only supposed to do 3 days a week and this week my boss from Auckland asked me to work Thursday to help out with a back log and I said yes because I wanted the money..... but I just had enough today.

So I went for a walk tonight at 5.50 to 6.30pm and I did 3.8 kilometres Wohoooooooo 800 metres (hill) and did it in 40 minutes. Sunday night I did 3 km's in 40 minutes. I was soooo happy that I achieved the 3.8 kms tonight I was on such a high when I got back... it got rid of my stress level too. I was boogying on down to my mp3 player he he he he. People must have thought that I was weird that is for sure he he he.

Anyway back to my day at work... I can't figure out my boss. (or ex boss) one minute she is confiding in me and the next time she is like not wanting me to know anything. I was in her office today until my office is sorted and she shut the doors to the room and said "can I have a bitch to you and can you be a sound board? because I know it won't go any further" OMG I was gobsmacked.... and of course I am not going to mention what it was here because I am not allowed to let it go further he he he but I felt privelidged that is for sure. But still confused as to whether she likes me or not because sometimes you just can't tell.

Today was another slap in the face for her because I don't even do my timesheets to her anymore and she has no say in what I do or how I do it. Wow it feels strange. I don't want to go to work and feel like I don't fit in either so I am struggling with the emotional side of this this week. I still answer the phones and help customers out because it just feels wrong for them to be ringing and for her to be out of her head with stress because she can do my old job and her Manager's job as well..... I mentioned that to her today and she said that I should not worry about it all because she will cope if she can and if she can't then they will certainly find out and something will be sorted.

Every Thursday in our L.E.A.N class they weigh and measure us and I lost on the scales (which wasn't suprising) but I had lost around my middle 3.6 centimetres woohooo I was sooo happy about that today. Oh so I did my lean class hour today and my walk. And a year ago I would have felt sooooo bad after that but I feel quite exhilerated by it.

The next L.E.A.N is event training and it is a 10 km walk. This 10 km walk is worrying me that is for sure. I want to do this but scared that I am pushing myself too much for the first marathon (walking). I am also doing the Huntly Marathon walk of 10km in the end of May. I am soooo scared, but I am not going to sit back and think what if... I am going to do this walk.. hey it is just a walk afterall and I am going to achieve something that is out of my comfort zone.... if I didn't challenge myself and do this then I will regret it and if I thought that before I went to the L.E.A.N course I wouldn't have done that either and I wouldn't be feeling as great as I am now.

Watching the Biggest Loser tonight 2nd season and it just motivates me so much. I would love LOVE to be on the New Zealand one.. (if they ever have one) that is for sure. I think of this event training as the same as being on The Biggest Loser... it is sooo out of my zone but I have to do it and there is no excuses and if I was on the show then I would have to do the challenges.

So I have to get up at 5.30am again tomorrow to do my Personal training session with Crusher and I am looking forward to it... it will be nice to do a one on one. I have to talk to her about how I can prepare for this Huntly Marathon. I wish I had a person that walked the same as me and same speed to go on the Marathon with... hubby said he would go with me but I don't think he really wants to go.... oh well.

Why am I so scared of doing this? It is consuming my thoughts at the moment hmmm.

Anyway that is me for the night.


Tuesday, 21 March 2006

Lost!! Lost!!

I lost!

I went to my weigh in today and I lost.

I am still not feeling very well.. had tonsilitis since Sunday and this afternoon after work I had to have a sleep before going to the weigh in.

I am so glad that I lost this week. Hubby and I went out for dinner on Saturday and I was worried that I wouldn't lose but I think I made good choices because it worked. Been drinking more water this week and I still hate it he he he.

Went to L.E.A.N this morning and was happy with what we did but this afternoon I have been having major MAJOR pain in my shins. I think when I was running I went down too hard on them when going down the hill. I don't know if it was just because I have worked out muscles I don't usually in the skins or if it was do harsh and I didn't bend my knees properly.

I find it quite astounding how running is something you have to learn. I mean I have never run before and there is an art to it that is for sure. If you don't run right you get out of rythmn and if you put your legs down wrong (like I did today) you can cause pain. I am quite excited about the fact that I want to learn to run. My hubby thinks I am strange (in a funny way) because I have never wanted to walk let alone run. But it is a challenge for me in the next year. I do think it is going to take years but I am willing to try. Not tomorrow though as I want my shins to feel better he he he.

I have changed my hours as I have said before and tomorrow is my Friday he he he and believe me it can not come fast enough.

Wow a Thursday and Friday off woohooooo ... can't wait. I am going to have Friday to be! TO BE wooohooo.

So did I mention that I lost tonight WOHOOOOOOOOOO

Love ya all

Saturday, 18 March 2006

I am a sucker

Am I a sucker or what....????
I have volunteered for Corbin's soccer team as Manager of the team (not coach) just Manager because he got on the team that had 3 of the kids he played with last year and 3 from his class last year. It is a smaller team this year they decided they wouldn't have 16 kids and split them into two teams again they would have 8 and have goalies this year too. I just didn't want the same Manager as last year or I would have hated it. So said that I would do it just so she wouldn't and one of the other mums wasn't there to say she would do it either. Last year I could have slapped the woman for talking to us like kids. It was so funny because one of the other mothers last year said to her "I am not your 5 year old son and do not appreciate the tone you talk to me and the other ladies in" wow I just stood back and let them have it... I don't think she realised that she talked to us like that but now she found out and I was so glad about that because she was a little better after that.

So it should be a challenge for me that is for sure. Not sure if I am up for it but hey it isn't two teams anymore it is only 1 wohoooo.

I haven't been wanting to update lately as you can tell. Felt like I was a little too depressed and felt like you wouldn't want to hear it. Just because there has been a lot of people saying how positive the posts have been lately... so I haven't been feeling positive and thought I wouldn't post.

We are going out to dinner tonight for hubby's birthday (last Tuesday) just the two of us so I am looking forward to that.

Well I start my new position at work on Monday... yes you heard it right. Monday not Wednesday. I am now working Monday, Tuesday's, Wednesday's and I am happy with that. So Felicity when you come down we will be able to do something during the day on the Friday if you want he he he.

I have been caught in the middle of a lot of the stuff at work because my current boss didn't know it was all happening and they didn't inform her that I wouldn't be under her anymore and that most of the stuff I am doing will be done by her from now on. They didn't tell her and left it to me to tell her which isn't good practice that is for sure. They have also lost their parent room (which didn't get used anyway) and I have my own office now and I get a new printer, computer, fax, desk and chair OMG it feels so weird. I am happy that I have now got a job that my boss cannot take over and that is all mine but I am not happy feeling like I have been put in the middle of all this mess when they big bosses should have sorted it out with her first ya know.

I got some time to do my cards today... it was so relaxing being in my little room and creating. It was fantastic. I have made so many cards now... and now I have to sell them he he he. The green one is a little card (even though it looks big). They aren't my best by far but I am happy with them today.

Anyway I will update later after getting back from dinner.

Love Chubbymum

Tuesday, 14 March 2006

My weigh in

I lost! Didn't lose a lot but I lost and I am happy with that.

I really need to sit down and think about what I want to do for the next year as I have still not gotten back properly on track and I am wasting my time now and I don't want that.

I have the exercise down pat and I am not going to concentrate on doing more than I am doing right now anymore. I am going to concentrate on other things to make it happen.

First is to get my goal sorted and sort me out.

It will happen... just need to find out the path.

Love ya all

Sunday, 12 March 2006

Sore Sore Sore

Well I did the Relay for Life!!!

Got there at 11.00am ready for the start at 12.00 lunch time. Our teams tent was up but the pergola wasn't so I helped with that (while it rained grrrr) but forgot to mention that I was dressed up as a daycare child he he he and had a wig with browny red hair with pigtails and freckles with my teddy bear PJ pants on, slippers and a big huge pink bunny and a oversized dummy hanging from my neck he he he he and believe me I got some weird looks while we were driving there...

I took my pedometer as I wanted to know if I achieved because sometimes just having fun can make your body feel like it has been in a train wreck.

I had the times 10.30pm to 11.30pm and 2am to 3am and 4.30am to 5.00am and 8.30am to 9.30am. But I did more walking than that as I walked around with some of the others as well. It was raining most of the time grrrrrrr and wouldn't you know it today when it finished the sun came out about an hour later grrrrr.

There was so much food and I don't thinkn I pointed the whole time but I didn't overdo it either and I did enough exercise to counteract it anyway. I am not worried if I loose or not this Tuesday.

My boys came down with my mum and hubby when the only time it was not raining and we watched the kids rock n roll group dancing and my oldest son Corbin was interested and we might get him into rock n roll and Quinn and see if they like it.

I got 20 minutes of sleep in 24 hours and felt like I was wet most of the day but it was good to get to know my work mates more because at work they are all with the children in their own rooms that I don't really get to speak to them. They are a caring bunch that is for sure but I still haven't changed my mind about my boss and what she is like. Sometimes the others have the opinion that she is a caring person but it is strange how I could see how selfish she was in the weekend and how only she matters and made a couple of the parent volunteers feel like they weren't contributing and got them really upset.

I managed to do 23,431 steps wohooooo for me. I can only manage to do 5,000 to maybe 7,000 a day normally so to do that many steps in 24 hours was amazing for me and I have blisters under my toes to prove it he he he.

So many people were doing this Relay for Life and they were all so friendly and I had a lot of people cheering for me while going around the track and a LOT of people coming up to me telling me I looked cute in my little get up he he he... I felt like a chubby bubby that is for sure but making friends and feeling like I didn't have to wear the clothes that others wear to fit in or something like that anyway.

The candle ceremony really got me quite emotional... they get tea light candles and a white paper bag with sand at the bottom... and on the bag you draw pictures and write on them. I did one with balloons for my Dad because he loved balloons and I wrote a message on it but when they lit the candles last night and then had the minute silence that is when I broke down. If my Dad was here now he would have been doing the survivors lap and he would have walked the whole 24 hours... I just know it. It made me miss him even more and I will be doing this again next year and hopefully another 20 something kilos less. Maybe I might do 12 hours out of the 24 hours next year and see how many laps and how many steps I can do.

Got home today and I have slept on and off all day and feel like I have been drugged all day.

But you know what I ACHIEVED I DID IT and it wasn't as bad as what I thought... I am going to find another challenge and go for it! But I will tell you after I have done it though because I want to achieve it first... as sometimes I feel like I need to conquer it first then brag about it (he he he) then also it is mine! It is my challenge... my challenge and my goal and I won't feel like it is anyone else's first and I am copying.

Wednesday, 8 March 2006

Wednesday - First day at work

Had a meeting with one of the head bosses up in Auckland today where she was teaching me about the new job that I am doing.

It is all up in the air exactly what I am doing and what hours I am doing right now but in a way it is good because I this new job description is priority and the things that my manager gets me to do she will have to do herself or find someone else to do it... which is good because she tends to do it anyway because she can't delegate and let people do their own job.

So there is less customer contact and more working in the main office at work so I am not disturbed as much... feels like I am finally going to have my own job and not fear that everyone else is going to be doing things and I will have to fix up the errors and sort out accounts and learn soooo much more stuff like funding etc.

I might have to change my times as well which is worrying me at the moment because I don't want it to be 2 days work 2 days off and then 1 day work it is just too distrupting and I would rather work Mon to Wed or Wed to Friday. I would like to change to Monday to Wednesday as I hate working till 5.30 on Friday's that is for sure. Plus I might not be reporting to my Manager anymore either which I think would be good because sometimes she takes things sooooo personally that she doesn't like change.

Anyway I have rambled heaps... it is just a big thing in my life and until I can get it worked out the rest of my life seems a shambles ya know.

I did miss being able to go and talk to Tania about it today... usually I would go over there and she would listen and then we would talk about the problem and she would always come up with suggestions it was good to have a sounding board with her ya know. I thought I would go over to Kris's and talk to her after school.. it was good to be able to get it off my chest and tell someone what a disrupting day I had had, but with both of our kids around it wasn't that easy to chat but that was ok that's life with kids aye.

I can't wait to do our card class together next week. Kris and I are doing a 6 week card class and learning different things about cards etc. Actually I think the reason I am looking forward to it is because we don't have to talk about weight loss and it will be a creative outlet for us.

I am not unhappy about my gain last night... I would have liked it to have been a loss that is for sure but thinking about my week I can understand that a gain isn't that bad. I can't wait for next Tuesday to see a loss because I am going to have a loss that is for sure.

OHHHH God I want my work situation to be normal and for me to enjoy it.... it will happen I suppose.

I am doing 'The Relay for Life' this weekend and OH MY GOD I cannot wait till it is over so that I can get back to a normal life and not to be getting sponsers as it is one thing I cannot do... I hate asking for money but I have been doing the money raising stuff for the whole group and we have raised $5,000 and I haven't gotten all my sponsors ARGHHHH so if any of you feel sorry for me and would like to donate $10 or $20 donation please feel free to email me and I will send you a email from the 'Relay for life' website to be able to pay by credit card. So far I have 2 sponsors and I need 10 he he he I am a slack slack slack person... why is that????

Does anyone else watch Gilmore girls... it is like a repeat but OMG I love the way she is soooo weird or normal I am not too sure. Just that I would like to do what she is doing and feel free like she looks on the tv.

Anyway I am rambling... yep rambling....

Love ya

Tuesday, 7 March 2006

End of another week before weigh in

Yesterday I decided that I was getting bored with the gym and there are many other exercises that I could do so I took Quinn (4 year old) around the lake for a walk and we went as fast as we could. OMG the weather was really windy and Quinn really enjoyed it. He was on his bike and singing the whole way in front of me. At the end of it I was buggered only because I had done the lake twice in the weekend. When we finished we went to get an icecream for my darling little boy and a Mizone for me and saw one of Corbin's friends mother at the cafe and she asked us to come for a coffee with her. It was great to sit and talk about things other than weight loss for a change. I really enjoyed the time.

The rest of the day was just spending time with Quinn and also making some more cards. Quinn was in my craft room making cards with me.

I must admit I have been anti-social the last couple of days... I just feel like I want to be by myself and do my cards. It isn't because I don't like my family and friends I think it is just wanting some time to be calm and to collect my thoughts. I don't know what I want to do with my year. I hate going along and not achieving something because we have one life and to sit back and not get out of my square is just getting to me.

I am achieving in my weight loss at the moment and I am happy with the amount of exercise I am doing. I do feel like I don't it to take over my life though. I want it to be part of my life not rule my life.

Went to the L.E.A.N course today and thoroughly enjoyed it. Got to have a chat with Dee at the start and she is an inspiration that is for sure and so encouraging. The rest of the lesson was me just focussing on trying as hard as I could but without putting too much pressure on my knee. I did the bike and water bike and jogging and walking sprints and also the rower. I enjoyed the rower the most because we did intervals where we did 500 metres then 1 minute you had to rest and then 500 metres and then 1 minute rest and then 500 metres etc etc and I did 2000 metres. I had a partner doing it with me and I managed to get a minute ahead and we started the same time... it was good to push myself so that I didn't think about what I was doing.

Lunch time today I went to lunch with Kris at Chartwell and had sushi... I was so full afterwards. I looooovvveeeee sushi so much just wish I had the patience to make it myself. It was fun to go out with Kris and talk about things other than weight loss (until the end he he he) we went to the book shops and got a couple of books and magazines and time flew past too quickly.... it was nice to be away from the kids and just be. I think that is what I need in the last couple of days is just to be me and not mum, wife, daughter etc..

Well tonight is my weigh in and with getting my mini goal last week I am not too sure how this week will go. I have been doing the exercise and I haven't been over the top with food but I haven't tracked as such. So we shall see if I have lost. I feel skinny today (until Kris's comment at Chartwell :-)..... so whenever I feel skinny I gain hmmmm them's the breaks.

Anyway will update later.

Love CM

Ok so I gained but I am cool with that.

I find that when I do more exercise in a week then 4 days of exercise I gain... so I am going to go with that this week and the gain wasn't much.

The best thing was that I sat down after getting weighed in and this lady sat down and starting talking and talking and talking and I just wanted to read my magazine and think about what I had done in the week to cause this little gain.

Well she then said "I have just come back to weight watchers and when I was here in April I used to listen to you in the meetings and WOW you have lost a lot and your face is slimmer and OMG you have a neck now and you look fantastic" I didn't know how to take that because normally friends talk to me like that and she seemed to feel free to say it... he he he it was fantastic so my little gain was nothing at all after that compliment.

I had a fantastic talk with one of my leaders too and she is just an inspiration herself as she has lost 55 kilos herself and she is trying to keep me inspired. I feel so relaxed telling her what has bugged me in the last week. I can't seem to write it in here at all.... but to talk to her today was bliss because... just because.

Sunday, 5 March 2006

Sunday fun day

It is only 3pm and we as a family has achieved so much today.

Got up and had french toast with all of us at the table it was great and Corbin said to us "so how has your week been?" and we all just cracked up because he sounded like he was the grown up.

After that we all went down to the lake to walk around it. Now last year in October I could do it in 50 minutes and I was soooooo tired afterwards but I achieved it. Wellllllll drum roll please we did it today and the boys were on their scooters and I did it in 40 minutes 40 minutes 40 minutes. Hubby and I were talking and wondering how far it really was. He reckons 3km's and I reckon it was 4.5km's so we thought hmmm after lunch we would come back without the boys with our bikes and see how far it is because I have odometre on my bike. So we did the walk around the lake with our bikes and it was 4km's so I have done 4 km's walking and 4 km's biking today. Feeling quite rushed with adrenaline today. Especially about my weight, I am feeling good about the food and about my exercise in the last couple of weeks.

When we were walking around I started jogging along the boardwalk and the boys were trying to catch me and the couldn't woohooooo it felt good I didn't think that would ever happen. When we came around the corner a guy saw me running and said to me.... go mum go!!! hehe he I was laughing so much. I stopped and my oldest son went past me... he said he won.. but I said nope nope nope... I just stopped he he he then he laughed. It was great.

My friend Aroha turned up on Friday night for an hour with her family and she kept saying how good I looked it was such a rush that is for sure. Plus when I was dropping Corbin off at school on Friday I had 7 mums come up and say how good I was looking. OMG it was great!!! I was wearing a black singlet with sequins on the chest and at the bottom and black pants a lovely shirt opened up on top of it which was pale yellow's and greens and I got so many people saying that I looked fantastic. I went to work and the parents there said the same thing. I felt like I was glowing or something... or maybe there was a sign saying look at me look at me look at me he he he he

Anyway going to cook a casserole and then watch Sky High with the boys.

It is only 3pm and I have my PJ's on already (and they used to be tight but are now baggy as he he he wooohoooooooo)

Might write later.


Fantastic Saturday

Had a really good day today.

Went out to lunch with some work mates and we had a ball. We went out to lunch with them and then back to one of their houses and we made up Fiona as she was going to a wedding so we did ringlets in her hair and her makeup and she looked fantastic afterwards. We are going to do this more often as the four of us got on so well. It was really good to go out with them and not having to talk about weight or kids and just have some fun. We sat around laughing our heads off and my tummy is so sore today from all the laughing and fun we had.

When I got home the boys and I went for a bike ride 5.9 kilometres it was fantastic. Quinn is usually really slow and today he went like speedy gonsalis he he he.

Went to bed at 6.45 as well because I was feeling soooo tired.
(p.s writing this on sunday he he he)


Thursday, 2 March 2006



My morning at L.E.A.N was fantastic. Everytime I go to the course I set myself a little goal because I have been stagnant and tend to go where it is comfortable... and everytime time our trainer said "work at your own level" hmmm now thinking about that I have not taken in before but my own level is not going to be where it is comfortable anymore... my own level is going to go up and up and up so that I can improve myself.

So anyway after all that babble... he he he I jogged today.... hold a sec and I will tell you about it in a sec.

Went to L.E.A.N today and got measured and weighed and in a week I have lost centimetres and I have lost on the scales woohooooo I felt fantastic when she showed me. It was great to know that my hard work was paying off.

Then we went on the treadmill and then went outside with everyone and had to do sprints back and forth and I got paired with someone other than Kris and she was ok but when we were asked to go around the shopping complex and we could walk or run I decided I would run from pole to pole and pushed myself it was great. Then we had to go in partners and do kickboxing kicks and hits and I pushed to the limit with that as well.

Went on another round of running or walking around the shops at the end of the hour and the whole group had to do it. I decided I would start running and Dee was going OMG girl that is fantastic.... you are running keep going my friend. So I caught up to Kris and then decided to walk for a little while with her and then ran it was exhilerating and when I got to the finish line Dee came over and gave me a hug and said she was proud of me. Wow what boost she gave me when she did that. I got my shower afterwards and I realised I was still smiling. It put me on such a high for the whole day.

Work was ok today. My boss has been away for a week and I now realise it isn't the job I am hating it is having her as a boss. Now don't get me wrong she is a nice person but she doesn't let me do my job and constantly interferes... I thought it was me and told another lady at work and she said she does that to everyone... it is driving me insane.

So I am on a high tonight.

Love ya all