Thursday, 29 September 2005
So anyway I went for my weigh in on Tuesday and I only had 500 grams to go and I lost 200grams... can ya believe it... I mean I didn't have any lollies or cakes or stuff thrown at me at the birthday party etc but I managed to only lose 200 grams. Well at least I lost and that is fantastic, and bearing in mind I had my monthly too so hey.
So I have 300 grams to go to I reach the 20 kilos and I can have my nails done.
I went last night and did another class with Kris and it was fantastic. I tried to convince Kris to go to the Combat class before we left but she just wanted to do some cardio and then go and have a spa..... so when we got there Crusher said "come and try out my class you haven't tried out the combat class that I do" so I had to convince her he he he he but she loved it and so did I. I really felt like I had worked some muscles that the Monday morning class doesn't get OUCH!
The last two days I have been on a MYOB course and it has taken a lot out of me and I have been coming home quite stressed and then go to the gym so that I don't feel so angry and tired and it has worked... but tonight I just couldn't do another gym session. I have been Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and two classes were in there.... and I am going again tomorrow afternoon. I reckon 4 to 5 times a week is enough.
I have to get over that 20 kilos tomorrow. You know I can't believe I have come this far and I don't actually notice it too much apart from being more energetic with my family now.
But it seems unreal. Even my hubby was saying that he didn't think I would stick it out as I have tried so many times. I am finding going to the gym with Kris is helping as we edge each other on and I tend to want to stick to it and the competition of trying to catch up to her (he he he sorry Kris) is definatly keeping me going as I want to get to her 22.9 kilos... not far Kris not far... I am catching up you better start running he he he he.
Anyway I have to read some journals... so bye everyone and a big hug from me
P.S I was supposed to put an updated photo on but I don't have my program on this stupid computer to do that and I want it to be the same as the others so only another 1 week to go (cross fingers).
Monday, 26 September 2005
So firstly I left my little ones home with my mum while we went to the Combat class... ARGGGHHHHHHH do I ever feel sore now. I didn't until 4.30 feel that much pain but now in my arms and shoulders it is like something heavy is on them he he he. We worked much harder in the class today because most of the mums weren't there as it was school holidays so Steve worked us even harder and Kris and I had so much fun it was great.
Got home and my lovely mother had made me a roast beef salad and it was devine and not that many points (only the meat and cheese) but it was soooo filling and so wonderful as I was only going to make a sandwich as we were taking the kids out.
Kris arrived around 12.30 to pick us up and we went in to the shopping mall to catch the kids show showing Bart Simpson "This is your life" it was good but I found that the ones getting the prises were the older kids. I must have sounded like a over loving mother or something as Corbin was dancing along with everyone and having a ball. I was so proud of him not worrying what others thought and going for it..... I was so wishing that Kris's kids or mine would get something but they didn't. Then Quinn was doing a little jig with his little backside.... it was soooo cute (ok enough of being a mum he he he).
After that was done we went up to Farmers to have a look around and then down to the library where we found some really good books. Kris found the book that I was going to buy last week but didn't want to pay $30 for it.... so I will borrow it from the library after her. But I did manage to get the Body for Life book and starting reading it. It is very informational. I so can't wait till Kris reads the other book. I thought I might go back and read Susan Powters book too as she just cracks me up.
I have been thinking a lot about losing weight lately. Mainly that I wonder if it is because of my size that people don't spend that much time with me. I have friends don't get me wrong but I miss going out with friends and doing the grown up friend thing and maybe it is because they don't want to be seen in public with me???? Yeah I know it might not be the case but I do think that way.
I have to sort out this weight thing!! I just have to. I want to lose more before going to Melbourne at the start of November too.
In answer to a question asked.."Did your brother in law notice" well he didn't say anything but I think he did. When we went to get him (at 2am in the morning) from the airport he gave me a big hug and said "you are look really well" sometimes I think it is hard for guys to talk about weight in front of woman... and maybe he did notice and didn't want me to think that he ever thought I was too big or something. I know that my hubby doesn't notice when people I notice have lost weight... it isn't really a big thing for some of the guys I know.
So maybe he did notice and doesn't want to really make a big deal about it or maybe what he said about me looking really well meant wow you have lost some weight. I don't know it was a little bit of a let down as I needed for someone that hasn't seen me for a while to notice but then again it was kind of a silly thing for me to get excited about because some people don't notice things EVER and that isn't because they are terrible hmmmmm I hope that all made sense.
I am exhausted today that is for sure and I just can't wait for my hubby to come home. My youngest has been playing his cd player since we came home (and he is only 4) and it is really loud but I don't have the heart to tell him to turn it down (he is in his bedroom) but it is great that he is taking an interest in music and at least this way he isn't annoying his brother or me he he he he.... but the play school song is soooo getting on my nerves and the What is your name song as well he he he he he.
I didn't manage to get the photos updated last night of my change since starting weight watchers and tonight might be a bit of a mission to do it as well as we have visitors. Tomorrow night is my weigh in and I don't think I will get to the 20 kilos only because I got my monthly and I am always weighing in heavier ho hum..... sometimes that curse is just a curse he he he.
Going now to have dinner
P.S does anyone know what happened with Jaxx's blog? How is she?
Sunday, 25 September 2005
Well this weekend has been a busy one for me.
Thursday night/Friday Morning 2am we had an hour and 1/2 drive to get up to Auckland to pick up my brother in law from the airport as he was coming home after been away 2 years. It was great to see him and it was an emotional time as my mother in law just hugged and hugged him (her favourite son). We got home at 4am and chatted for a while and then had to get up at 8am to take the boys to school and creche. Then the morning was spent making Quinn's birthday cake (Sponge Bob Square pants) and wow 2 1/2 hours later I had finally finished Woohoooooooo last cake for a year woohoooo.
Saturday was Quinns 4th birthday party and we decided to have it at McDonalds as he really wanted to have one at McDonalds. He had 2 girls and 4 boys and was enjoying himself so much as everyone brought him presents and he got face painted and blowing of bubbles and pinning the eyes on the bird game.
BLONDE was there with her son and it didn't turn out too badly. He has now got glasses just like Corbin (go figure) they are identical. Sometimes I wonder about her aye!! anyway!
Well on to the weight situation. I didn't go to the gym yesterday as we had the party on but after the party the boys and I went and flew kites. It was fantastic running up and down with the kites in the air. I pushed play he he he he and so what that I didn't go to the gym.
Today was a different story though I tried to go the gym and went there about 2pm and the doors were locked but the sign said that is should be open. It was quite freaky really and it pissed me off know end so I will be complaining tomorrow that is for sure. So I didn't really get the exercise done today but I have done the groceries and I have been out the back playing swing ball with the kids.
I have been quite depressed lately without my laptop and hubby got this old computer up and running and now on internet (but not my jetstream ho hum) and so I can up date... but it is going to be 2 weeks before I can use my laptop as the power adaptor has to go up to get fixed or to get another and since it is a 6.3 amp (which is highter than most) then I might have to wait for one to come over from the USA.... grrrrr. I can tell you the lady at the counter where we brought it got an ear full from me and hubby (and hubby is a very quiet reserved man so that was suprising).... it is like I am going through withdrawals or something like I am addicted. Which I must admit I am addicted to my blog and you guys. I miss you so much and I keep thinking that you are going to stop reading me if I don't hurry up and update.
Anyway I am going to update with a little more a little later on (hubby is screaming at me that dinner is ready) as I want to put some up dates of my progress photos (if I manage to get this computer going properly grrrr)
I still can't believe I have lost 19.5 kilos IT IS AMAZING that I have stuck to this journey. SE YA SOON.
Tuesday, 20 September 2005
Going for my weigh in in 40 minutes argghhhhhh and I hope I have lost. I have tracked but still don't feel like I have lost this week. I have been to the gym this week 4 times and I have not gone over points but.............. on saying that I don't know if my choices were that wonderful either... even though I didn't go over points.
PLUS the dreaded monthly is due in the next day or so ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So if the computer at home is up and running you will hear from me tonight and if not I will ask my friend to use her computer again tomorrow afternoon he he he
Love ya all and when I am up and running again watch out for my tags he he he he
Monday, 19 September 2005
I haven't been ignoring everyone! I can't charge my battery on my laptop. The one I brought last week wasn't doing the job and apparently the guy at the shop gave me the wrong one grrrrr so now my laptop isn't working and I have borrowed a friends computer so that I can update and say I am still here and I am tracking and I am going to the gym. I have been Saturday, Sunday and I am going this afternoon.
I was supposed to go this morning to the gym with Kris but when I got dressed and ready to go my youngest (Quinn) got so upset and was sobbing with big breaths.... now keep in mind he doesn't do that sort of thing EVER as he just let's me go and knows I will be back but this morning he was so upset and said that he wanted to spend time with me so I decided I would go this afternoon and let mum look after both boys. So Quinn and I had a day out together we went for morning tea (NO I didn't have anything but a coffee) and Quinn had a chocolate macaroon and a drink then I took him to lollipops and he enjoyed himself so much. Normally I wouldn't let him think that I would do anything just because he crys but today he was generally upset and it was good to spend some time with him.
So I am going to go and get my son from school now and hopefully tomorrow I will get a chance to update at a friends place..... unless my hubby can connect up the computer (not my laptop) at home to the internet.... we have got a modem for it but haven't installed it and plus we have to sort out the jetstream thing he he he so if he gets that going then I am back online.
I had such a good workout last night at the gym. I went through the new program and pushed myself to the limit and upped my cardio by 5 minutes on the bike and the treadmill and the recumbant bike. I was so proud. Not sure if I will lose tomorrow night but I am not worried that much as I have tracked and I have been doing the exercise and as people say I might be putting on muscle etc and it will take a few weeks to notice.
Hubby said that I can get my nails done when I reach the 20 kilos... I said yeah I might he said "There is no might I will take ya butt down there he he" so that was nice. I tend to make goals and things I can get and end up that the bills get paid first. I refuse to spend that much money on myself unless the bills are paid... and I don't like a whole lot on HP or credit cards because in the long run we will always be strapped for money and it gets harder and harder... so this time he said he is not taking "I'll do it later" for an answer woohooo for a good hubby.
I so miss the comments and I soooooooooooooooooo miss checking out my email and my diary.. So I can't wait till I get my laptop up and running.
Thursday, 15 September 2005
I had to have yesterday off to think about my situation and what I am going to do.
I know I have to keep up with this and thank you for all your notes... it is just sometimes I find that I am depriving myself and doing lots of exercise and still there is no results.
So I have been talking to Kris and wow she has been a big help to sound off too that is for sure. So we are sending each other our trackers so that I can keep honest as well as I can see what she is eating for her to lose the weight she has been losing as maybe I am doing something really wrong and don't know what it is. I have to thank you Kris that is for sure as you have made me think that I can do this and I am doing the exercise and I am tracking but it will take a bit for my body to realise it.
My life feels like one joy ride at the moment....
Today I went to work and then after work I had to take Corbin to ANOTHER birthday party and then I have to pick him up and then go to the parent/teacher interviews and then I have a website business meeting.... arghhhhh and between all that I have to cook dinner and feed the kids and get them to bed.
In the next 2 weeks I have to take Corbin to 7 birthday parties 7777777777777 argghhhhh I feel like a taxi driver that is for sure. He has a soccer pot luck dinner and prize giving on Friday night, Plus he has his Soccer Tournament on Sunday (for the whole day). I am trying to fit in my gym with everything and I am finding it hard!! I don't want to give up my times and I want to get back to it. I haven't been to the gym since Tuesday and it feels like withdrawals that is for sure.
I feel motivated this week after getting the new program and it sort of feels like Kris and I have a little competition on with each other but I know that she is going to lose way more than me as I cannot seem to lose as much as she does. But it is keeping me going... I don't know if it will if she gets too far away from me he he he but I have to keep going and not let it worry me.
I felt good today. I wore a black skirt and black top. The skirt is floaty and I found a necklace (beaded) that I used to wear when I was a teenager and it looks good on it. It is funny how jewellery comes back. I even got asked if I had changed my hair. I think it was just the whole ensemble today and not just the hair. I haven't had my hair done in like 8 weeks and I really have to get some dye and get it sorted. I need a change to perk me up I reakon.
I am not going to let these gains get to me anymore. I have to lose this and I am going for it.
It feels really weird that my brother in law is coming home next friday. He has been gone for 2 years and I was hoping that I would have enough weight off that he would notice. I don't think he will.
When we went out on Saturday night with some friends (that we hadn't seen since March this year) they didn't notice... or if they did they didn't say and they usually say. But I must say that Kris came out with us and she said that she thought that I had lost weight and the outfit I was wearing showed that I had lost weight... so that put me on a high when she said that..... wow it feels good to have a friend again that is going through the same thing...even though she is 29 kilos less than me ho hum. That is a lot when you look at that figure but I will get it off... I have gone from 153.7 to 136.2 and that I didn't think would happen this year so I have to keep reminding myself of that.
My boss is sending me on a MYOB course too woooohooooo. I asked her today and she said that was a fantastic idea and so I have to check out Wintec and see when and where etc... yayyyyy another thing to go on my C.V.
Well another book from me tonight he he he... will catch up with you tomorrow night...
Love ya all
Tuesday, 13 September 2005
I didn't want to be there.... sigh but Kris was getting her program looked at (which I should have done last week) but I didn't have enough time after weighing in and measurements. Which I am glad I did last week he he he it put me on a high.
But anyway Liz (our trainer) was talking to Kris and Kris was giving her a hard time he he he (nicely) and said that Liz was being too hard so I said to Liz "I will keep her on track don't you worry" and said to her "I wouldn't mind doing Kris's new program" as I was bored with mine and so now Kris and I have the same program and today was fantastic going through it... it was good because I tend push more when I have someone doing the same thing. I reakon that it will be good for Kris and I.... so this is what we did today but we have to do 20 minutes on the Treadmill and Bike to make up time but the work out has got my backside and arms sore today he he he
I love it!!!!
15 minutes on Rower
15 minutes on Treadmill
3 x 15 squats with 4 kg weights
3 x 12 (sitting on ball) arm curls
3 x 15 Laying on back lifting bum holding for 3 secs then down
3 x 12 Laying on side leg lifts
3 x 12 Arm curls with machine
3 x 12 step ups with 4kg weights
3 x 12 on machine arm push outs (don't know what they are called he he)
3 x 12 on machine arm pull ins
5 minutes on water bike for arms level 3
(should have done 15 minutes on bike but was there for an hour and a half already).
I am so glad I am back at the gym again! I am scared to get sick again as it takes a lot away. I am getting back to the level I was before I got sick 4 weeks ago. I also don't want to overdo it or it will get me back to where I was before exhausted. 4 days a week is enough for me.
I am scared about the weigh in tonight!!! Really scared!!! I think I have kept to it and I have tracked but then I do think my choices could have been better too. But I have kept within my points.
Anyway I will update later on tonight.
UPDATE: I gained 100 grams. I am angry!! because I did track and I did exercise and I know all about the it will show up next week. Well three weeks in a row gaining has just pissed me off no end and I am going to have a weeks break on the diary just to get my head out of this weight thing and then try again. I am not giving up just angry!! really angry!!! at myself too because I know I could have had this F***en 20 kilos by now... 3 weeks ago I had only 1.2 to go!!! 1.2 and I have to get my motivation back again.
Monday, 12 September 2005
I felt really great afterwards and Kris and I went downstairs by the spa pool and sat in the lounge chairs and talked as we both couldn't be bothered getting into our togs but wanted to talk so it was nice to talk for a half an hour.
I felt weird for the rest of the day. I am not too sure if it is because I am still not over this cold or not. I still have this chesty cough and it is not going away and I am still on antibiotics. I just felt really tired and lethargic.
Went and saw Tania too and she makes me tired looking at her. She isn't that much of a difference in weight than me but she does so much... around the house I mean like she is stripping down a dressor and re-painting it for her daughters room and on top of that she is doing a cross stitch cushion for the lounge that is really quite trendy.
Dinner was fantastic tonight. We actually sat at the table and had the candles that Tanya brought me for my birthday going and sat there talking and had lovely music on. It felt good and I just wanted to look at my little ones and marvel at how much they have grown and how good they are.
We then went outside and played swing ball with them... Quinn (3 nearly 4) was laughing so much that his giggle was positive naughty he he he and I sat on the grown up seat swing and watched then hubby and I played and then me and Corbin... it was dark outside and we had the light on but it was nice not sitting in front of the tv and doing the blob thing. Then all of us went on the trampoline and laid there looking up at the stars while hubby explained about the man on the moon and Venus the brightest star and other things and the boys were really interested.
It was like watching a movie where there was a fantastic happy family and I enjoyed every moment of it. Sometimes you don't realise that you should appreciate what you have got before you don't have it anymore and you can't appreciate it.
Anyway it is my weigh in tomorrow and honestly I have tracked and kept within my points or had left over points because of all the exercise I have been doing but I don't feel like I have lost anything... more like feel like I have gained. I know that when I started the gym for the first time I didn't loose right for a couple of weeks so since I had a break with being sick and started back this past week properly then I don't expect to loose. I know I want to get to that 20 kilos and keep getting it off because it is worth it.
Anyway love ya all
Sunday, 11 September 2005
Corbin went to yet another birthday party and we went out to get groceries food wise I was ok.
Then at 6pm I met up with my friends for a birthday dinner. It was fantastic! I didn't know how all the individuals would get on but it was a fantastic night out.
Dinner was fantastic and the conversation just never stopped and I was on a high that is for sure. We went to a Mongolian Restaurant and I had two plates of food... but you choose out of a lot of raw food and they cook it in front of you and you have rice with it. I wasn't going to worry too much on what I ate but made sure I didn't put too many sauces or oil with it and instead chose spices and especially garlic to satisfy me.
I couldn't even manage to put the dessert in me as I was sooooo full but wished (in a way he he he) I had had it as it looked yummy but felt good that I stopped. I did manage to have two bourbon and cokes and then we went to the movies to see Bewitched... OMG it wasn't worth the money that is for sure. It was a really slow movie and not what I thought it would have been. I would not even see it again on DVD.
I am really glad that Kris and her husband came as it was nice to get to know her and husband other than online and through the gym.
I didn't want the night to end and at 1o.30 when the movie was over we wanted to go and have a coffee at Starbucks but they had just closed. I didn't want the night to end. It was great to have some adult conversation and not to fear what you would want to say (like with Blonde etc) or to feel uncomfortable. When we drove home hubby and I were saying we should do this more often and not just go out to dinner have BBQ's or pot luck dinners and just get out there with the kids too. Sometimes we all get caught in a rut and stay home watching tv when we could be living our lives. So this summer we need get our groove on he he he.
Today was a lazy day but I am ok day with that as I have always wanted just the family Sundays where you relax and just enjoy the time.
Just did things around the house and played on the computer for a little bit of the day... then went to the gym around 4pm with Kris and it was a work out... arms are feeling it tonight that is for sure. It was nice to have the trainer Troy there as he kept things going and pushed us a little more but I am certainly feeling it now that is for sure. My arms and tummy are feeling the burn. Then afterward went and had a spa. Kris and I were talking and decided that we would go Mondays - to the Combat class
Tuesdays - in the morning
Friday - night
Sunday - early evening so that we get to see troy and he can give us some more pointers. He he he we also heard that he will be doing Friday nights soon too so that will be good. He is just so relaxed and makes you feel normal and not a big person trying to do something small people should do. Also he pushes us a little so we don't slack off.
All in all I have had a good weekend.
Hope everyone is doing ok. I have now been doing weight watchers 9 months today!!! ARGHHHHH I was sort of wishing that I would have been further down in the weight but that is ok.
Good night all
Friday, 9 September 2005
I woke up this morning and hubby gave me a big hug and went to have a shower then came back in and said "happy birthday my sweet" then got something from the side of the bed. It was a lovely package all done up pretty. I opened it and it was a bottle of perfume called Provocative Woman. I loved it. I haven't had perfume in such a long time and it was nice.
I got in the shower and he went downstairs and then the next minute he was there turning off the shower and passing me the phone. My friend from Auckland phoned to say happy birthday and that was fantastic. Then that was it I started crying.... and crying and felt really emotional... it was because I miss my Dad so much and wished he was here. I miss him so much and on my birthday I miss him the most. It has been 5 years but it still hurts.
Anyway so after getting dressed I went downstairs and I thought that my boys would have made me a card. Last weekend they made a card for hubby and brought it up to him at 7am but I hadn't had my card. So I went down and had breakfast and waited and waited and then I said to Corbin "so where is my card" he was watching cartoons and turned and said "I didn't make one". I just sat there and thought OMG do they love me less?
I know that they are only 6 and 4 and they don't understand but I just felt so upset and sat there just thinking why... and then the tears came again... I felt like such a cry baby and I shouldn't have I know.... I know... and I also know they are only young and don't understand. Then Quinn said "what is wrong mummy?" and I just couldn't answer and I swear my family thought I was nuts. So I went to get things ready for work and they sat there and made me a card. I didn't care about presents... you know? All I wanted was a card from my boys to say that they loved me... that is all I wanted today.
Anyway I took Corbin to school and then went to work and in the communication book they had written Happy Birthday and then all the staff were saying Happy Birthday all day.
I got a lovely text from Kris to say happy birthday.
Tania phoned me this morning and said "I have a friend that wants a good childcare and I told her to go to yours. She said she doesn't know how to get there. I said that we have a waiting list of 3 to 6 months and maybe she should come in and check out the place. So after describing how to get there she hung up and said "see ya soon". I thought hmmmm that was a strange ending. and 2 seconds later she turned up at the front door with a present for me, and a homemade card. OMG I was so stoked that she thought of me. She didn't have to do that at all and I didn't expect it.
Then about 11am I had the children from the creche creeping up to my desk and then they all looked and me and smiled and then they brought out a cake they had made with candles and sang Happy Birthday to me and the cake was made out of playdough (green) he he he he. It was the greatest thing and the kids were so excited about it too. They cared to do this and it was fantastic.
BLONDE saw me this morning while she was dropping off her son and she didn't say anything and then later she phoned and said Happy Birthday.. so that was nice.
At about 4pm hubby phoned and he was strange on the phone and I said..."are you ok? is there something you wanted to ask" he said "have you recieved anything?" I said "no" he was so angry. He said that he had ordered flowers for me on Wednesday afternoon to be delivered today for my birthday and I hadn't received them at 4pm.. OMG what a slack customer service they have. So he phoned and complained and they said once it is in the couriers van they don't have much of a choice. OMG 4pm.. that is ridiculous. So I finally go them at 4.30 FINALLY. So here they are:
Corbin had his first Disco to go to tonight and he got in his fancy clothes he he he and went and had a ball of a time and danced the night away he he he.
Hubby is taking me out to the movies tonight so that should be good.
I had a wonderful birthday and a fun day...
Thursday, 8 September 2005
Today I had the following for food!!
Little bit of chopped egg (from lunch)
30g Grain Wave chippies
Chopped Egg Sandwich
WW Pork Ball made like Spaghetti Bolagnaise
I also went to the gym at 5pm tonight... I had been thinking about it all night. I thought at the start of the week that Kris was coming with me but I was silly and got my wires crossed. I was looking forward to it because after a hard workout I wanted to sit and chat with Kris in the spa he he he but that is ok next week will have to do. P.S Kris well done for your loss this week.... you are back on track.
So anyway back to the gym. I went tonight and did 20 minutes on the treadmill at incline 3 (when I usually have 2) woohooo and then did some arm work and then the incline bike for 15 minutes and then I went on the normal bike for 20 minutes... so by the end of all that I had had enough since I had just gotten back into it after being sick.
I want to loose this ya know? I just can't believe that I have wasted two weeks with gains and I was on such a high too...... why do we do this to ourselves? Why do I do it to myself?
I am not looking forward to working on my birthday tomorrow that is for sure and to have only a 1/2 an hour lunch I can't really go and do much either... and ho hum I am working till 5.30 too sigh.
I thought I would tell BLONDE about how I am doing with the weight loss today through an email and she replied to the email with something totally different and didn't even acknowledge what I had told her.... then about 5 emails later said Oh well done with the loss... sometimes I wonder why I tell her anything? She said she misses doing things together but you know I don't! I have lost more since I haven't been doing it with her and I don't feel like it is a competition anymore either.
I am watching the Super Nanny at the moment and I tell you I want to kick those parents!!! My God she lets the 2 year old to get away with anything and then pinches when he doesn't get what he wants and the Dad gets home and sits in his chair and DOES NOTHING... OMG that is divorce material for me.
Woohoooo when the super nanny said to the husband that he had to do chores OMG that man if I was his wife I would have slapped him silly he he he he
Anyway going now... hope everything is going well with everyone tonight.
Love ya all
Wednesday, 7 September 2005
Ok that was my gripe for the day.... I just would like to watch anything but murder mysteries on tv it is getting on my nerves.
Work was a non today!
I started my tracking today and I sucked!! I was 2 points over only because my mother had made dinner tonight and put cheese sauce on the veges argghhhhhh. I took most of it off but it was lathered grrr. That is ok I don't usually have my exercise points so I will make it up in the rest of the week. It is only my first day of the week.
My hubby phoned me at work today and said... do you want a suprise or would you like to choose your birthday present? I said "why" he said because he has a couple of things he wants to buy but scared that it might not be what I want for my birthday... he he he makes me laugh. He never usually gets me birthday presents unless I have said what I want specifically... I said to him that he can choose as long as he keeps the receipt just in case it doesn't fit or isn't right... I am not too sure what he had on his list... he also knows I am terrible with secrets but I wanted one this year..... I am going to be 35 ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I feel soooo old 35, kids, married, mortgage, job, bills... so sad.
My brother in law is coming home on the 23rd September. I so hope he notices a difference in me but if he is like any other male (and he is) then he isn't going to notice. OMG I am wanting someone I haven't seen in ages to notice!!! I think I need that boost like something is changing or something ya know.
I am so cold tonight and I have been getting annoyed with my watch today as it is getting too big on my wrist.
ARGHHHHHHHHH I am so nibblish at the moment and all I want to do is eat. Yes I know there are things that are 0 points but there is nothing in the cupboards here till shopping day on Saturday and it is FRUSTRATING me no end... I suppose that is why I am online doing a long post because I want to get my mind off the fact that I want something yummy to eat.... and sick of sipping water.
Ok you have had enough yep yep yep
Love ya all
Monday, 5 September 2005
I am sorry guys for not posting in the last couple of days.
You wouldn't believe how much I have missed it and how grumpy I have been I haven’t been able to use my laptop since Saturday as my battery charger just wouldn’t work and I had to wait till today to be able to buy one $125 later argghhhhhhh and so that jus made me go insane without my laptop that is for sure.
Hey I went to the gym today for my 8 week meeting with my trainer and we did my measurements etc…. and it is the following. Woohoooo in 8 weeks.
Ok so I should recap on the weekend.
What a fantastic day at the zoo we had... I did so much walking and the kids were really interested in the animals and the things we were doing. Was pretty bad with the food and I have been pretty bad all week. I have craved chocolate and have just had it. I knew I shouldn't! I knew that when I opened the cupboard and took it out that I shouldn't have had it... I knew it was wrong! I know I shouldn't have but I did. I am not too sure what my problem was... maybe because I haven't had any chocolate for 9 months and I just did it.
So I brought a tracker book from weight watchers tonight and I am going to start back on track tomorrow. I have been slack and I know I have and I suppose I haven't really wanted to think about it. I went to weigh in tonight and I gained 400 grams but I wasn't upset about it because I knew I wasn't a good week.
Why do I do this to myself? I don't quite understand it? I know that I am doing the wrong thing but I do it anyway. I am not going to undo this I am not going to get in a rut again.
My trainers face today was so proud that I want to see that again and I want to feel good...
I am going to do this.. so I am back and I am going to sort myself out. I do also think that since I haven't been online on my diary that it is affecting my committment and making me less worried about it as if no one knows then no one can kick my butt... so getting my battery charger is the best thing that I could have spent money on this week as I don't want to get back to the old chubbymum.
Thanks for listening
Love ya all
Friday, 2 September 2005
I am going quietly insane without having email at work lately. It is driving me insane that I cannot communicate with my friends.... and I know that I shouldn't be doing it in work time but I always got my work done even with having email.... and feeling a little bit shut off from the world.
Thank you everyone for such great comments on my diary they have certainly made me think! I have been thinking about what my next goal is. So here is what I am thinking
- 20 kilo mark (133.7 kilos)
(End of Sept 05) - Glossy Lipstick as reward
- 25.2 is the 5 kilo mark and 4th stone (128.5)
(Start of Dec 05) - Some feminine shoes
- 30 kilo (123.7)
(Start of Feb 06) - Good sunglasses
- 31.5 kilo 5th Stone (122.2)
(Feb 14th 06) - New Sexy top
- 35 kilo (118.7)
(April 06) - Nice necklace (or a couple beaded ones)
So they are my first 5 goals and I am going to try and get to them. I am being realistic and only wanting to loose 500 grams a week because I have found that previously when trying to loose weight I lost too much too quickly and put it back on again.
I have to try and get my mojo back again he he he as I have been craving chocolates lately and I am not usually a sweet tooth person I used to want cheese more than anything and in the last two days I have had 4 mini chocolates and feel so mad at myself. (Those little tiny chocolates) and it isn't good. I have been for my walk and have been drinking more water but I haven't been doing as much exercise as I should. Monday and I am getting back to it that is for sure.
Plus tomorrow we are going to the Auckland Zoo with the boys so that should be really interesting. I can't wait... the walking alone will be good for me let alone getting out with the kids and I haven't been to the Auckland Zoo since I was a child living in Auckland.
Anyway I have to go and get some shut eye so I will be good for tomorrow... byeeeeeee
Might put some pictures of our day on here tomorrow he he he. Love the fact that I can put photos on here.
Thursday, 1 September 2005
Went to work and I think I was bored but not sure. I miss the communication I had at my last job and miss my morning tea buddies. I feel like we are going through the motions in my new job like hmmmm we have morning tea at the same time so lets talk but that is all. I miss my friends. Yes I know that is scary and I have to just stick to it but I feel lonely.
Anyway got home and didn't have to pick up Corbin as he was going to a friends after school. So I went for a 40 minute walk with Quinn (he was on his bike). I felt good afterward and kept thinking while walking that if I had the 18 kilos on that I had at the start this would have been harder. I haven't gone out for a walk for months and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The weather was georgeous and it wasn't hot.... wohooooooo.
I should have put on 18 kilos in a back pack and seen what it was like when I was heavier.
I still sit here thinking it doesn't feel like I have lost anything at all. If I had really loose clothes then it would make me feel like there was a change but they aren't that loose... well I haven't noticed as my clothes are always loose.
I am still going to keep going on this weight loss but I just feel today that OMG there is so much to go! 60 kilos to go! I had 78 kilos to loose but I suppose only 60 sounds great too. I know I didn't put this on in one week and I can't take it off in one week but it just feels so daunting.
Anyway I have a lot more to say but kids are jumping on me and I have to go and dish up dinner.