Sunday, 29 October 2006

Addicted to blogs

OMG in the past week I feel like I am addicted to reading everyone's blogs because I need need need lots and lots of motivation to keep me going. I want to keep this feeling! I want to keep feeling so great.

Went to the gym with Debbie again this morning and we worked out little butts off.

Did 10 minutes on the bike and then did 2000 metres on the rower and it took me 10 minutes and 16 seconds... OMG I shaved off almost a minute from what I was doing last week.... what a high.

We went on the treadmill next and Debbie and I did 1 minute off and 1 minute on of jogging and walking... and yes Helena I did wish that it would hurry up at the end of the minute he he he... I am enjoying the fact that I can do it and that I am sweating like a pig as my t-shirt was wet when I got off. I had a little niggle in my knee so I have to watch it and make sure that I watch how I am running on the treadmill but I was doing it and the best thing was an old work mate of mine was on the treadmill next to me and she is like half my size and she was walking on the treadmill. I felt on a high high high.

We went down to the woman's gym after this and went into the sauna and sat there for about 10 minutes and then went and did the circuit on the woman's gym equipment.

This jogging thing is just amazing.... I would not have thought I could do that!!! I would not have thought it would happen until I was under the 100 kilo mark that is for sure.

I am sooo psyched about this weeks weigh in as I have been working my butt off this week. 24.2 kilos to get under 100 kilos and it is going to happen!! it is!!!

I have actually had all my water for each day this week too (THANKS to my WW leaders) I have tried so hard to make sure that those 3 litres have gone down my gob he he he. It is the hardest thing ever ever ever for me!! I just hate water but I want this weight to fall off me like it did when I started when I have lots of motivation and great people around me helping me loose this weight. Mojo was fantastic then!!! I want the Mojo from then back.

I have been tracking like a trooper too and I have been trying to stick to Crusher's food challenge... some days it has been a little hard because it is sooo repetitive and for six weeks hmmm not sure how it is going to be but you try having wraps every single day for lunch... what is inside them can be different but wraps for lunch everyday is B.O.R.I.N.G ARRGHHHH going crazy... especially trying to make them taste different so I don't get upset and eat the wrong thing.

I must admit the two weeks that I lost the 1.1 and the 1.2 were the weeks that I was doing Crushers other meal plan for me and it was fantastic. But they were interesting and I had two or three choices for the lunches so I didn't go stir crazy. I will do it till the end of this week but after that if I am feeling like I am going to stray I am going to talk to her to give me another option for lunch!

Today's wrap was lamb strips, carrots, lettuce, jalepeno hummus (little smear), mushrooms, falafel (homemade and little). It was devine!! it was different and a little bit of points there but it was at least better than chicken in it all the time or just plain salad.

After the gym we went in to town to look at vacuum cleaners for mum for christmas as she has hinted sooo much about them but didn't find one that we liked or one that we thought she might like so we will keep looking. But we went to K-Mart to look at the toy section with the boys to get their christmas presents sort of sorted... anyway we were in there and the boys went nuts over these skate boards... so while I was entertaining them hubby told them that he was going to the loo and then went and brought them and put them in the back of the car for them he he he so at least the big presents are now done for them and we just need to get little things for them. We did get a couple of things in Wellington while we were there.

Only the brother in law, father in law and step mother in law to go not bad really... We still have my mum but we know what she wants just have to find the right one... so that is pretty much sorted.

Hubby and I don't usually get presents for each other... I said the only thing I want is to go camping.. To be quite honest I would love it if he organised a camping trip with another family and friends to go with us... but I know my hubby and I am sure some of you know him by now too he just doesn't think out of the square and would NEVER do that unless I organised it and then what is the point he he he. So that is the only thing I want for Xmas..

The rest of the day was basically cleaning around the house... ho hum.... but it is something that all of us have to do.

I did play knuckle bones with the kids and trying to teach them how to play the game.. OMG it brought back so many memories playing the game with them... Corbin got upset because he couldn't catch them on the back of his hand and I had to keep telling him that he will get it... but it will take practice hmmm the patience of... nothing he he.

Anyway guys.. sooo tired and going to organise dinner.

Love ya all

Saturday, 28 October 2006

Saturday practice for round the bridges


Got up had my god awful muesli (he he he just because after five days of the same food I am hating muesli now) and then took the boys into the library to choose some books. I love the library with the kids now as they can sit still and read and be good little angels where as about a year ago I could have strangled Quinn he he he he. I was sooo proud of them today just sitting there with their books and reading (well Quinny was looking at pictures but that is a form of reading) and Corbin is reading like 9 year old books (he is only 7)... they were little darlings.

I feel so peaceful in a library like there can be hardly any noise and people have to be quieter than they normally would be. It is so nice and it is like being in a candy store and you have to choose only a couple of things and don't hog at them all he he he.

Debbie texts me to say she had cut her hair and coloured it. I said to her take a picture and send it to me as she was soooooo excited about what it looked like. But she tried and she couldn't he he he so we met at my place and got to see the hair cut and colour and it looked fantastic.

What a change it was!! especially when I usually only see it up and since she cut it so it was just above her shoulders and the colour was a like a light light red with blond highlights it really suited her. We both commented how it was quite similar to mine... and I said "now we can say we are sisters and others won't know he he he he" as we are like only 2 kilos different from each other.

I would like to have my hair the same length as hers.... I used to have blond hair to the middle of my back when I first met hubby and married him and the day after we got married I chopped it off for a change he he he.. I would like to have it a little longer but hey that will be a while yet. I want to have more of a neck and shoulders to show it off with he he he he

Anyway so we took my hubby's car and went in to town where the race will start next weekend and we didn't stop chatting the whole way and it was both of us talking... we were like half way around the walk and I said to her Wow we have gone such a long way and I wouldn't have guessed it... it was amazing and I really enjoyed her company and we walked a similar speed (even though I was quite sore from the run on the treadmill yesterday he he GEE thanks Crusher).

It took us about an hour and a half to get around the walk and I don't think that is too bad for 6.3 km walk. The lake when I walk around here in Hamilton (3.8 kilometres by the council) takes around 50 minutes so we did the 6.3 in quite good time. I was really pleased....

I got to know Debbie so much more too and we talked about things like our Dad's dying etc and it got quite emotional but I think it was good that we finally could talk to someone else that understood.

We came back home and hubby made us chicken wraps with jalapeno hummus, lettuce, carrot, pickles, it was soo yummy.

After that we played PlayStation the star wars Lego one it was sooo cool... I felt like a kid again and Corbin was teaching Debbie how to use the controls and she was loving the killing of the robots he he he she was sooo funny.

We then sang sing star and we are like 20 points difference from each other... it was like we were sisters.. we like quite a lot of things the same. The other night when she came back for dinner we found out that we both love love love love love love (do you get the feeling that we love) pepper and garlic on things and lots of it... soooo funny. I have never met a person that likes it that much (especially pepper).

Unfortunately she had to rush off because she has a BBQ tonight (and when she was looking at the clock she thought it said 4.55 and said she had about fifteen minutes then she had to go home and get a shower and I said to her "Hun it is 5.55" OMG I have never seen someone jump so fast it was like watching the road runner he he he... she is too funny. The BBQ she was going to was her sister's wedding BBQ get together to sort things out for the wedding and she was late late late.

My thighs are in sooo much pain from the running yesterday but Debbie and I think we will go into the gym tomorrow morning and do it together.. she said she was a little nervous but hey we will be running (well jogging). I think I will start off with 10 minutes (1 minute jogging and 1 minute walking) and then take it in a week to 2 minutes of each and then change again or I will get bored I just know it.

Roll on for the weigh in on Tuesday. I have stuck to my food... I have been doing more exercise and stepping it up and it should show something if not I WILL SCREAM!!!!

Anyway I am exhausted.

Love ya all

Friday, 27 October 2006

I ran today on the treadmill!!! OMG OMG

Went to my personal training with Crusher today....

I went on the bike for 10 minutes waiting for Crusher and she was five minutes late so I went to the front counter wondering where she was and she said "how did you get past me?" OMG I said I have been here for 10 minutes he he he.

We then went down to the treadmill and I was talking to one of the ladies on the treadmill beside me called Jackie and I said to her "well done for the running" as I know she had a knee problem and she never usually runs she usually stays on the spin bikes. She said that she has lost so much since she has been running on the treadmill. I said "OMG I couldn't do it is scares me" and then that is when Crusher said come on and she made me run on the treadmill... I was frightened to start it is a scary scary thing for me... BUT I DID IT!!! OMG I just can't get over it.

I feel sooo sore this afternoon after that. I was on the treadmill for 12 minutes and for 6 of those minutes I was running wohoooooo.

We went on the rower for 2000 metres too and then on the bike for 12 minutes. I doesn't sound like I did a lot but OMG OMG I feel pumped... I haven't felt like this in ages.

Roll on 9.6 kilos... woohoooo

I am going to do this! With Crusher's help and her 6 week challenge I know I will be doing this. I must admit it hasn't been a full week yet but I am a little sick of the lunches but I am going to stick with this.

Debbie and I have two walks planned in the weekend.. I it is going to be so much fun. I am doing this guys!! I am pumped... and I know I keep telling you that but it is amazing to have this feeling but I feel like I have just started again and feeling like the world is my oyster.

I might update later with the rest of my day.

I hope you are all ok... ??

Love Chubbymum

Thursday, 26 October 2006


I didn't post last night because things happened and I didn't get to my laptop.... but I will tell you later in the post.. it had to do with hubby.

It was a huge day at work yesterday as I had to get all my invoicing down by 12 and I didn't have work on Monday because of the long weekend that I had to do my job in 1 day and a half because of end of month OMG OMG OMG what a nightmare that turned out to be and I had a screaming headache by the time I left and I also didn't have my proper breaks...

BUT... I drank all my water... he he he. My goal for this week from my WW ladies (friends) is to drink my water every day and so one of them were sending me emails to say Drink water and I love water over and over again... it was soooo funny and great that they are helping me with my little water problem.

Debbie, Hubby and I went to Crusher's kickboxing class last night and had a ball... OMG I haven't worked that hard in a Kick boxing class ever and it was great... It was great having Debbie's positive attitude and my hubby there too... but hubby t-shirt was soaking wet when we left so he worked his butt off.

Debbie and I were sooo sore when leaving the class and I thank Crusher for that it was a fantastic class... I am going to go next week that is for sure.

Got home and Debbie and I got dressed and ready for the Tupperware party at the WW leaders place and we got there and it was such a nice atmosphere and we were ready for a great night and then 5 minutes into getting there I got a phone call on my cellphone from mum saying "you need to get home NOW hubby has just blacked out" OMG OMG I was (on the outside) looking like it was ok but on the inside my heart was racing and I was sooo scared.

Debbie took me home and on the way I phoned back to see if I could talk to hubby... Got him on the phone and he said "I told your mum not to worry and to NOT call you as it is all right" I am glad that she did phone me as I wouldn't have liked not knowing till I got home.

Apparently hubby was giving Corbin a horsey ride and and Corbin had his hands around his neck rather tight and hubby was just going to say "Corbin can you take your hands away please" and next minute he woke up on the floor with Corbin screaming and screaming and my mum (who btw doesn't take stress well) was screaming at hubby saying what is wrong? what happened? what happened? and so he shouted back at her I don't know but then mum said I am calling CM and hubby was shouting back at her Don't!! (if any of you out there that know him know that NEVER EVER EVER would he shout at anyone and especially not my mum) but she was badgering him that he got upset.

Was talking to hubby and he said "Look you go back to the Tupperware party! (this is 8pm that this happened) I haven't had anything to eat since 12 lunch time and I have just done a huge workout and not enough water and then Corbin had me in a sleeper hold... everything is fine" But I couldn't!! I couldn't because I was frightened of losing him.. I was scared that he was just brushing it off and it was more serious.

So Debbie and I went home and cooked us dinner and him and I went and brought him some Ginger kisses (his favourite) as we don't really have sugary things at home for him to get his blood sugar levels up. He doesn't drink coffee etc to be able to put sugar in so that was the nicest thing.

He kept saying he was alright but to be honest after that fright I couldn't have concentrated at the Tupperware party and I was really upset missing it as I like the WW girls and would love to do things with them. GRRRR

I couldn't sleep all night worrying that he wouldn't wake up in the morning so I was waking up every half an hour to check on him.. I missed LEAN this morning because of it as I was just buggered.

This morning I have rung him like 10 times checking up on him he he he he.

But anyway went to my old work at the University today and OMG the compliments that I got. I even had lecturers that I only saw a couple of times come up and tell me how fantastic I was looking. Hubby's old boss couldn't get over how great I was looking too and I felt like I was on cloud nine. I haven't seen them in a long while so they actually saw the difference.

I popped in on BLONDE (if you remember her from when I started losing weight) she gave me a compliment and said that she could see it in my neck and shoulders he he he he I said to her that I actually have a neck now and not a head glued to shoulders he he he he he.

I am feeling ok about Crusher's six week challenge at the moment and I have cut down on my V's which is taking a bit to get used to (Not 5 a day OMG like the lady on Downsize me the other night)

Anyway I better go and get myself ready for picking up the kids from school soon.

Will update later on what else happened.

Love ya all

Tuesday, 24 October 2006

Gets better and better

My week just keeps getting better...

Went to my weigh in tonight and I lost 400 grams..

OK it isn't wonderful but it is a loss and I would rather that than the plateau I have been experiencing.

I have not gained in 4 weeks so I am sooo happy about that. I am also more positive about getting the next 10 kilos off than I have in such a long time... I have surrounded myself with positive friends and in particular I think Debbie is doing a lot to keep me motivated and she listens and there is so much we have in common it is great. Among others as well... like Crusher and my Wonderful Weight Watcher ladies and of course all you guys that are commenting and keeping me going.

BTW welcome Steph and thanks for commenting you honestly don't realise how much it keeps me going and I know that commenting after reading for a while and not commenting it is a huge thing... woohooo you did it my friend.

Debbie and I have a goal to loose 10 kilos by end of February together. So that is around 500 grams a week. Which will take me to 114 OMG the teens will be fantastic and then after the 10 kilos I will have only 4 kilos to match my hubby's weight woohoooo.

Debbie wants to lose more than that and I hope for her that she does manage it.

OMG I could be under 100 by April if I lose 1 kilo a week but I know realistically I can't loose 1 kilo a week for that long... ho hum so October next year is my goal to be 99 kilos or less.

It feels achievable today that I can lose 10 kilos by February... my focus is now back on me and not other peoples problems and I think it is fantastic.

I was chatting to one of my WW leaders and we had a good chat about people that are just not right in our lives and she managed to get rid of a person that was holding her back. Debbie was there and said the same thing about a person in her life that she is now realising wasn't a friend at all and was glad that they have parted ways quite a while ago. I said to her that I just hate losing friends but she managed to say that she wasn't a friend... and (she said to me don't take this the wrong way) that some people like bigger people around to make them feel even better about themselves. I said to her "do you think she really did that to me" she said that she really felt like that at the time of meeting her. If I look back on the 3 times that she brushed me off for a better option that she wasn't my friend and the world revolved around her.

It makes me wonder... am I that much of an ugly person that people want to keep me around to make them look good. Am I that big that people only want that part of the friendship? OMG what a lot of growing this week... realising things and people in my life seeing things but didn't say what they thought when she was still my friend.

I know I keep going on about this but it is just one of the things that I have to work through to be able to get this weight loss off and to shake off the acidic influences in my life.

My skin is clearing up and I am sleeping better and not fearing if the phone will ring once again for the 6th time in a day and having to answer because she knew what my schedule was and helping her out with her car problems and her being upset because her mum was treating her once again like crap and bringing her down and the amount of times she rung at 7.30am to tell me how crappy her husband was.... when I found he was a great husband that supported her through everything that she wanted to try.

Also the fact that my whole family knew when the phone rang and it was her again... I started hating the phone and never wanting to pick it up, my hubby went and brought a caller id phone so that we could avoid the phone calls and only pick up the phone once a day.

I am on the second day of Crusher's 6 week challenge and I must admit I have come across a snag in it because I can't eat breakfast till 9.30 since I have to have muesli for breakfast with work as I start work at 7.30.... so that was frustrating this morning as I was soo hungry so I think Crusher and I have made a compromise to have a shake on the work days (well at least the Tuesday as I go from LEAN straight to work).

Crusher I will do this... I know the V is going to be the hardest thing for me but you must realise I used to have a V a day and now I am only having one on a Monday and one on a Saturday and then I will cut down again to make sure I get rid of it totally... it will happen (Thank you Crusher for your concern) and I am trying.

I also have been thinking about the last two months and going back to my WW meetings help me keep on track too and I miss them like crazy when I don't go.... and having their encouraging words keep me going. I also have to know my weight each week or I can't judge and the weight doesn't move and I do think deep down Crusher is now realising that because I am on a losing streak he he he. I know weight shouldn't be the focus but with the amount of weight I have to loose it has to be my focus.

My friend Aroha came and had lunch with me today... well I had a coffee and she had lunch and then went back to work and ate at my desk. It was great to see her again... she keeps hinting that I should move down to Wellington he he he.

Lean was good this morning but the knee is still bugging me... because I feel like I am being left behind and it is bugging me like you wouldn't believe and even more when we are outside and everyone is running.... I hate it!! I hate it!!! I want to run but walking is bad enough on this F*(king knee... I now know what Delwyn was feeling when she had to give up Lean because of her calf muscle.. I don't like the fact that I am hating going.. and I think it is because with the outside stuff I am always feeling like I will never catch up and never do as well as the others... it is bugging me... I suppose that is life, but up until 3 weeks ago I thought I was doing better in my exercise and will be jogging more but alas it isn't to happen just yet.

I got a lovely comment from a parent today sayng that I look like I am glowing in the last week. I think I am... I think I am doing this and I am going to get under 100 kilos!! The last week of posts were a little depressing but I had to go through it to start to be happy in my life again.

OMG I feel sooo loved... I have 31 people emailing me to read my diary so I must be helping someone (other than me) along this journey and that is soooooo a reason to keep going because without your posts I don't think I would have stuck to this journey... you are all my inspiration.

Love ya

Monday, 23 October 2006

Blob out day

It is a blob out day today.

Spent the day just being at home...

I must admit I am a little bored with it now as I am now used to doing something everyday exercise wise.

My mum has been in one of her little moods today deciding to punish me with something by doing the silent treatment and staying in her bedroom. I think I have come to the conclusion that it is her problem as she has been doing this all my life... making me feel quilty for something but never telling me what it is and I think that is why we usually go out because it is unbearable sometimes.

I went in her room and said to her that our whole holiday she was saying she missed us etc but when we are at home she doesn't treat us like that and moans about everything all day... the room is messy, the kids playroom is untidy (while they are in there playing), the lawns aren't mowed yet (and it is still on Saturday morning) it is honestly driving me insane in the last couple of weeks. I am 36 years old, this is my family and we have a mortgage and we are married and she still treats me like a 12 year old and does these little tantrums.

I love my mum... she does help us out a lot and she is a lovely lady but I am finally at 36 realising that the little tantrums are her problem and if she is going to stay in her room and sulk and not tell us what the problem is then she will stay there all day and that just makes it more of a problem for her as it doesn't bother me like it used to... it does a little but I am not going to let her do it to me... the mind games just brass me off now.

We made fridge magnets with the boys today with plasterer paris (spelling he he he??) and then painted them... they look so cute. We played playstation and we also spent an hour reading our books. We are trying to teach the boys that they need to sit and read now and then and not just play on computers and watch tv's.

I read some more blogs today as I want to get more inspiration to keep me going on this weight loss journey, and one lady I did read was dietgirl. To be quite honest I have come across her blog so many times by others that read it. I was intimidated because she had stuck to it for so long, and is in a place where I want to be and felt a twang of jealousy... but I take my hat off to her as she is an interesting lady and I think I will keep reading.

Been a little hard to keep on track with Crusher's new progam today because of staying home all day I am nibblish... but I stuck to it... didn't want to mind you... It is hard for me the week after my monthly I find that I want to eat sweet things on that week and it drives me insane. Hmmm but I will battle that.

Good night everyone.
I am tired
Love Chubbymum

Sunday, 22 October 2006

Sunday - Bikes, Lunch, Library

The boys let us sleep till 9am Woohooooooo

In the weekends they are not allowed out of their beds till 8am so that gives us till then anyway.

Hubby and I sit every morning in bed for the first 15 minutes planning what we are going to do for the day. I am very much a planner and like knowing what is happening so I feel like I have achieved something... I suppose that is what Virgo's are like he he he.

So we planned to go for a bike ride to the library and then to hubby's mums place for lunch. Which is about 6km each way.

Went to the library to find some books for me about writing... I think I want to write a book... hmmm not sure what it will be about but that is a goal at the moment. Or how to write better for my scrapbooking.

The boys sat and read a book each and it was nice and relaxing then we biked to the bakery to get some bread for lunch at hubby's mums place. It was a nice bike ride apart from Quinn driving us a little insane in the fact that he was getting slower and slower.

Came back and watched Zathura again and played singstar. Now the boys are playing Madagascar on playstation. I don't usually like them playing playstation too much but since we did a lot of exercise today it is fine to play the playstation. They know that other things come first and that we don't just sit in front of the tv all day... so at least I am teaching them that.

That is it for me today...

Love CM

Saturday, 21 October 2006

Round the bridges

Ok... HO HUM (for you Helena) I have a cold... but I have been watching Down size me on Tuesday nights and the trainer (don't know if I like this woman by the way) said that when you are sick you should still get up and do exercise... so I did!! I went for a practice run of the round the bridges.

Hubby got on the computer and found the map of where the 6.3 km's go and we walked it... went with the kids (which btw we should have left home this time) and did it in 1 hour and 30 minutes and I am sure I probably could have taken 10 to 15 minutes off that if we didn't have them. But there were enough hills in the walk and especially nasty at the end of the 6.3 kms is a nasty one arghhhh but I am glad I did it.

I am not too sure my throat was feeling the same way (as I still have a head cold) but I practiced it and the "Round the bridges" is on the 5th November so that isn't too long away.

Then a week later I have my triathlon with the gym... not sure if you would call it a triathlon but Quintathlon as we have to do:
  1. 12km Walk/Jog
  2. 12km Bike Ride
  3. 4000 metre Rower
  4. 50 Sit ups
  5. 50 Push ups

Crusher seems to think that I can do the 12km's on the 'Round the bridges' but I don't know if I want to do the 12km.

I am doing the 12km's the week after and I have achieved so much this year with my first triathlon, boot camp, tough guy/gal and now the round the bridges and then the second triathlon.

I am not wanting to do these because I love them but just because I want to be in them to say I have achieved it, so the difference between doing the 'Round the bridges' 6.3 km doesn't mean that they mean any less.

I am going to do the 6.3 km's and realised that today that is what I want to do and then the 12km the weekend after. I know... I know Crusher won't be happy as she thinks I can do it and maybe I can but I don't want to do it I think that is the difference this time.

I am also a little worried I am overdoing it for my knee too as I now have both my knees giving me grief and I hate the fact that I feel like I am coming apart.... a little scared that if I keep overdoing it then I am going to get to the stage that I can't do anything at all.

Tomorrow I start my challenge with Crusher and I am a little aprehensive only because I have a choice of 5 meals for 6 weeks and I know what I am like when I can't have something I get bored and I stray... I am going to try try try not to but I think the thing that will let me down is the only choice for breakfast is muesli, yoghurt and fruit and I must admit the yoghurt and fruit for breakfast gives me chills as I hate them mixed.. I know I am a weird chicky but I just don't like it.... but I have to learn to like it because I WANT to get this next 10 kilos OFF

We went and did the groceries this afternoon I spent the whole day walking (I should have worn my pedometer) and finally got to rest at 4.40pm arghhhh.

We got a Dvd out called Zathura and we all quite enjoyed the movie.

Tomorrow if it is a bad day then we are going to sit and make Christmas cards with the kids as we brought them some card and some xmas decorations for their cards and they are itching to make theirs. I reckon it will be fun but messy he he he.

I am going for another walk tomorrow but I think I might leave the hubby and kids home so that I can actually go at a good speed. I haven't practiced enough before this triathlon and it is worrying me a little.

Anyway love ya all


Friday, 20 October 2006

Motivation Galore

I am back to my old self!!!

Crusher worked me hard today and made me do the rower 4000 metres which took me 25 minutes but I know I can go faster than that as at the start it took us a while to work out where I was going to put my feet as I have a problem on it that my knees go out when I am on the rower so I put my feet on the floor but now I am putting them right under the feet holders so that I still work out properly but not tied in up above like other people so that I can not damage the knee.

I think I am more motivated now than ever... the reason being... I finally realised that I don't have to have Kris in my life to feel fufilled.... and also realising that I have so many supportive people in my life...
  • firstly my husband he is just the best,
  • Crusher is there for me and listens and is helping me out and believing in me when I don't believe in myself,
  • you guys reading and commenting and listening I thrive on your support and the fact that you care and listen to me means SOOOOO much you wouldn't know,
  • my friend Delwyn for telling me that I should not have gone back to Kris as a friend (the last time she let me down) and I didn't listen giving Kris the benefit of doubt and so now she can say "I told you so"
  • Debbie for listening through the last week and commenting and helping me get through all this crap because I don't like the situation I have been in in the last week, Debbie goes to Lean with me and pushes me and goes to the gym with me and keeps me focussed on the positive side of weight loss, plus she is a great friend at work.


I felt great because I felt sooo relaxed and the concentration was even better with Crusher today.

Crusher just made me feel great in the fact that she has set me a challenge... I have a 6 week challenge and I will get the food list tonight (that she has two other people doing) and we are going to knock this weight off me he he he...

I said to her I want to lose another 10 kilos by February... now realistically I don't know if I can lose that much but I am going to try. I am more positive with this now and I know I just have to stop PISSING AROUND and do it.

So to be at 114 kilos by end of February will be my next challenge.
The teen's the teens woohooo.

So Crusher "Onward and Downward we go" I have the exercise sorted I reckon... I don't have a problem with the exercise and I am addicted to the gym it is just the food that I have to sort and that DAMN water.

Plus I feel like I am getting another cold... I am taking panadol and barocca like you wouldn't believe at the moment as I don't want to be sick anymore and I don't want my knee to stop me from getting on with this challenge.

So the challenge starts this
Sunday 22 October 2006
with Crusher and it will finish
3rd December 2006

Worked out my measurements today and these are the results

Centimetres lost since January 2005
Arm - 12.5
Waist - 34.2
Hips -
Thighs - 9.5
Chest -
Calves -

Altogther lost: 100.4 centimetres over my whole body.

Went to school to watch my boys do their cross country today and had a picnic lunch with them... it was a lovely afternoon (especially when it was raining most of the day) the rain stopped and the sun came out BLISS!

I was soooo proud of the boys they did so well! They weren't last (like I was in school) and they both tried sooo hard and came in the middle... they were soooo cute with the determination on their faces.

Ok I have yapped on enough... got a sore throat and so I am going to get an early night and make sure this cold that is trying to come on doesn't get any yukkier he he he

Love ya all

Thursday, 19 October 2006

Nothing much happened

I think the only exciting thing that happened today was LEAN with Crusher... it was a more interesting morning than it has been lately and everyone was saying that felt heavier and it was harder today... we did kickboxing and walking and stairs etc... I did find it rather hard going up the stairs but then the rotation was changed and going down the stairs was better.

Was talking to hubby and my other knee (the used to be good knee) is hurting under the knee and in a different place from my other knee... hubby seems to think it is my cartilidge in this knee that is the problem grrrr. Was chatting with Debbie on the drive home and we both agreed the reason we both liked today's LEAN was because we didn't feel like we were separated from the group.... and until Debbie started that is what I was feeling because I am slower than the other fit people... they run and I don't and even if I did I would never be able to keep up with them. Today felt like we were actually part of the group and not the two at the back or the two holding everyone up while they had to hold a prone hold or something.... that is the worst thing for people that are slower is that we are hindering other people.

I said to Debbie that before she came I felt like that every single time because I wasn't up to the others speed and it got to the stage that I hated it because I would never catch up! It was great to have someone that understood.

With the concentration on strenghtening my thigh muscle my knee was a little bit better this morning but still nigley... I was a little upset by the end because I really felt like running today but I knew that if I did then I would be weeks before my bloody knee was right For FUCK sake I am finally getting in to my exercise and I have Debbie to push me and I have the other bleep bleep knee go out on me... it is just not fair.. does anyone have any ideas on how to help my knee????

The funny thing is is that the cross trainer is sort of ok on my knee... it doesn't start to agrevate me until around the 8 to 10 minute mark but then it isn't as bad. Going up a step is the hardest thing... you would think that going on a cross trainer would do the same thing... Hubby seems to think it is different because I am pulling up my whole weight to get up a step whereas on a cross trainer I am just going round and round hmmmmm not sure really.

Even though this week has been an emotional nightmare with Kris and all.... I haven't felt this good in a while... I am feeling like I am finally focussing on the exercise and weight loss in a good way and changing things for me and not fretting about what is happening in others lives and trying to sort out every single problem that is going on with them... I am focussing on me and my family and not crap...

I know it took me a while but after to talking to Debbie yesterday and breaking down about the whole thing... she finally made me realise that I need to do all this for me and that I am the most important person and so I have to get on with it. Woohooo go you Debbie!!

So I am on top of it... I have crossed out my exercise for this week (on the sidebar) and so I have gotten myself back on track with the exercise... so I am going to do another challenge for next week...hmmmm I think it will be the water intake every day... or I might just start that tonight hmmmm.

Spent the afternoon in Quinn's classroom helping out with craft afternoon. The teacher brought some fabric felts and they coloured them in. Also they took their bean seeds and put them in containers and I walked around the field with them to practice for their cross country tomorrow... so glad that they don't run fast he he he he so my walking was fast enough.

I am signing off now... I am keeping my promise to myself to update everynight... woohooo

Love CM

Wednesday, 18 October 2006

Wednesday - Feeling better

Met Lee-anne today what a gem she was soooo easy to talk to her and the time went too fast that is for sure. I would love to catch up again Lee-anne and thank you very very very much for lunch.. NEXT time it is on me.

We went to the cafe at the end of the street. I like that little cafe as it is not pretentious it is so comfy and there isn't lots and lots of choices or bad choices so I am happy with that. I can't believe that just meeting Lee-anne that we talked so freely... I got a bit tongue tied he he he he but that is what I am like when I am a little nervous.

Had the soccer photos tonight and it went off with no hitches and the boys were well behaved.

Met Debbie at the gym at 7 and we did the following:

  • 10 minutes treadmill
  • 2000 mtrs Rower
  • 10 minutes on Cross Trainer (I up'd my speed from 55 to 68 so I was really happy with that)

Then we went and did the circuit like Sunday night

  • Inner thigh machine
  • Sit ups
  • Cross Trainer
  • Arm push ups (not sure what they are called but machine pushing the bar up with weights)
  • Spin Bike
  • Leg Extensions
  • Cross Trainer
  • Arm pull downs
  • Spin Bike
  • Leg push outs
  • Spin Bike
  • Arm push outs
  • Outer thighs
  • Cross trainer
  • Laying on tummy lifting calf muscles up with weights (for the butt)
  • Spin Bike

I felt great afterwards... I so want to lose this week.

Sorry about the post last night but I have been really upset about the Kris situation and I know reading this you don't get both sides of the story and only mine.

I am going to endeavour not to talk about her again as my friend Delwyn says "she is not worth the trouble, I told you not to go back into the situation last time" so from now on I said to her I will listen to her more ;-)

I am going to lose this next 10 kilos faster than a year this time. In the past year I have only lost 10 kilos and it isn't going to happen that way in the next year... so keep the encouragement coming guys I really really need it!

KT I am reading a Geneen Roth book called "Appetites" and I must admit I like the way she writes. I want to get the other books by her now especially since this one mentions the other books and how she has changed the way she thinks about things since back then... even though she says she still believes in what she wrote.

I have my LEAN tomorrow with Crusher and I know that they will be going outside again I am just hoping that there are no hills as I really want to build up my thigh muscles before attempting too much on my knees. I tell you though I want to run like the others when I am out there but I am afraid of the pain I have been having and I don't want to make it worse.

Woohoo long weekend this weekend and no work on Monday woohoo that means I have to work only 2 days next week yayyyy.


Morning Tea
Carrot sticks (have such a craving for them at the moment)

Vegetable Frittata
(Lunch with Lee-anne)

Beef Stirfry with Udon Noodles

2 Bottles of Water

Anyway it is time for me to go to bed as I have Crusher in the morning and I don't want to be grumpy he he he

Thanks for the comments on last nights post.... they meant a lot that you took the time to comment.

Love ya CM

Tuesday, 17 October 2006

Miserable Mood

Started off this morning in a miserable mood!

My knee is bothering me and I certainly didn't want to go out once again walking up and down hills and stairs... It started off ok but then going up the hill it bothered me like nothing else I have had before.... which really didn't make my bad mood any better.

I was also late for work and work didn't go smoothly either he he he he.... I woke up to a bad day today.

I really tried to be good with food today and ended up having 29 points OMG 29 points!!!! and I was trying to be better with my choices but obviously that didn't turn out as well.

Ham bun (as I was too late to get a good breakfast grrr)

Morning Tea
Fruche Yoghurt with fruit
Pretzels (handful)

2 Sandwiches (grainey bread)
Roast Beef sliced thinly
10 Marshmellows

Pork Chops (no fat)

Ok crap food really... but I had all my water and I did have an hour of lean and another hour of walking with hubby.

Hubby got home and could tell I wasn't in a good mood so what did he doo??? made me go for a walk thinking that would get me out of my mood. NOPE NOPE I don't think it worked!! Crusher phoned while I was out on the walk... I felt like saying my BLOODY husband is making me go for a walk when I don't think my knee would take it!!!

I don't want to sound like a sour puss... I don't want this blog to be a negative blog that people don't want to read but I also don't want to be untrue to myself by writing things happy happy happy and I am not feeling happy happy.

Bit of a unhappy day today... Feeling unloved today I think... still feeling unhappy about the situation with Kris. I had a huge talk with hubby on the walk asking him if I am being silly about all this. He said I wasn't being silly... he proceeded to ask me if she ever listened to me or did she ever ask you how your day went? You know I can't really tell him that she did ask me how my day went because the only thing we talked about when we had coffee or anything else was her miserable life (well she thought it was miserable) and all about her husband and her mother and all the time it was about Daniel her trainer and the gym... there was nothing else we talked about NOTHING!!!

Maybe that is the reason I am still in a bad mood is because I hate losing friends.... friends are rare! and at my age it is hard to find friends but then I think I am unhappy because she didn't turn out to be a true friend and she didn't care about me or how I feel because if she did she wouldn't have brushed me off for another better option for the 2nd time.

I still can't believe I broke down in front of Crusher while I was doing a fitness test the other day either... until that moment I don't think I realised how much I hated the situation and how I have always felt that because I am a big person I am not loved or that friends don't want to hang around with me because I am big and they are ashamed of being around me.

So I suppose on the fitness test it sunk in that I feel I am not worthy of having friends... obviously they don't want to choose me over going to a BBQ with others or that Kris didn't want to sit with me at WW because her skinnier younger friend was better than sitting next to the huge lady at the back... Maybe going to the gym with me being so big is another off putting thing too.

Anyway I am going now!!
This doesn't feel like it is helping tonight


Monday, 16 October 2006


I am feeling so motivated today.... I am feeling motivated because finally I feel like I am being true to myself and saying everything that is on my mind in my blog!!!

I feel motivated because I met some wonderful people down in Wellington that know exactly what I am going through and are an amazing motivation for me to keep going.

Rachel thank you for the emails today and for listening I really appreciated it and it has made me think of things in a different way you are truly an amazing and funny lady. I don't have enough laughs in my day and I can imagine that if you lived here I would have such a great six pack (if girls have them he he he) because of all the laughing we would do.

I found this on an email sent to me today and thought I would put it up for everyone to read.... it is so simple but sometimes we forget to put ourselves first:

Put Yourself First — you can't lose weight for someone else; you have to own your goals. After all, you're the one out there sweating your butt off, right? Finding the right motivation is all about getting real with yourself. Jillian Michaels

Sometimes I think that motivation is not all you need though... you need to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF because without that you won't achieve anything.

Ok so I treated today as my first day losing weight... because I have gone back to my bad habits since the holiday and I was liking the fact of not worrying about food... so today I started with getting back to drinking water. I had a glass of water with every meal...

Food today:

2 Sandwich bread
Peanut Butter (slither not much)

Morning Tea
Carrot Sticks
Wasabi Peas

Left over Rogan Josh (not a lot)

Afternoon Tea

Roast Beef
(I am going to try and have one potatoe a week and that is it... sort of like an experiment)

I not happy with my food today but I wanted to concentrate on getting the water sorted today instead of being overly worried about the food but still being good.... so this is what my experiment will be today.

Went back to work after 16 days off and people actually missed me. I phoned one of my creches I do the accounts for and the Manager said "OMG thank God you are back... you don't know how much I missed ya" now I can tell you this lady scares the hell out of me because she is sooo straight to the point sort of person and she was the last person that I would have thought that would have missed me....

But I was in the newspaper with my photo today and I was sooo sooo sooo proud he he he. My mother in law even phoned to say she saw me as well. Woohoooo ME!

I also got a phone call and this lady on the other end said "I hear you are our accounts person" and I said "who are you?" and they said "### creche in Morrinsville" I said sorry but I don't know what you are on about and she said that my boss in Auckland knows all about it and sure enough I phoned Auckland and was told there that I have a new creche OMG OMG it was nice to find out through someone else that I had a creche that had started about a week ago with us. I was told that it could be happening but didn't think it would be till start of next year OMG what a Mickey Mouse bunch I work for... how could they take on another creche without giving me the heads up or the details... and all my boss could say was "OOps forgot to tell you about that" OMG I know I don't work in the same city but fFSake.... yep yep Mickey Mouse outfit.. so my day started off interestingly.

I haven't heard from Kris at all today. Saw her dropping off her kids this morning in the rain and waved to her but she didn't even wave back and looked miserable...I can't say I wasn't being friendly, as I am an adult and I don't like losing friends. Even though I don't want to be close friends anymore with her I don't want to totally avoid her either as our kids go to the same school and we both go to the same gym.

I am getting quite tired now and I have to go to the gym at 6am in the morning ARGGHHHHH back to getting up early again ;-)

Love ya all

Sunday, 15 October 2006

I am sore

I was disgusted by what my scales this week will be saying because I can feel it in my undies (ewww I know I know) but they feel tighter and it might be to do with my monthly but I am not happy that Wellington and my bad food habits caught me up he he he... so I started off really well this morning and had my 3 weetbix with milk and then went to the gym.

Debbie went to the gym with hubby and I today and it was just the best work out I had had in ages. Because we are only 3 or 4 kilos apart in weight it felt fantastic to be there with someone that knew what I was about and how I felt...

So we
  • did 10 minutes on the bike to warm up and then
  • 1500 metres on rower
  • 10 minutes on cross trainer
then went downstairs to the new womans gym that they have arranged (instead of our lovely spa pools) and they set up the woman's gym like Curves gym where you do it for about 15 or 20 minutes on the circuit and it is a good workout... well Debbie and I decided that twice around was what we were going to do and we did the following:

Now every machine for 45 seconds doesn't sound like long but OMG it is when you have like 2 seconds break between the next machine:

  • Inner thigh machine
  • Sit ups
  • Cross Trainer
  • Arm push ups (not sure what they are called but machine pushing the bar up with weights)
  • Spin Bike
  • Leg Extensions
  • Cross Trainer
  • Arm pull downs
  • Spin Bike
  • Leg push outs
  • Spin Bike
  • Arm push outs
  • Outer thighs
  • Cross trainer
  • Laying on tummy lifting calf muscles up with weights (for the butt)
  • Spin Bike

and then repeating all the above again WHEW!

OMG was I pumped after that but I could feel that my muscles are only just getting back after having a week and a half off arghhhhhhh.

After lunch hubby wanted to mow the lawns and told me I had to go for a walk...OMG what did he think I was doing at the gym this morning (he was there btw)... ;-)

He said that I needed to get out from the kids and him and have some time so I walked up to Chartwell which is about 3km's away and when I got there I was exhausted and think that that was too much exercise for one day as I wasn't feeling that good... it doesn't help when the monthly is here and I feel fat and ugly.

Now girls I have 4.5 kilos to go till I am in the teens he he he he the TEENSSSSSSSSS so I have to get my A into G and look at my food.

I know I have my exercise sorted but that dreaded food is driving me insane!!! I just don't want to eat the good stuff and it is a problem...

Suggestions please!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am bored with the food I have been eating and need to find other recipes so if you have any can you email me on and I will try them out. I suppose that is the great thing about having this passworded I can put my email on here and not worry because you are all friends.

Ok so Kate and Jaxx are both doing the 101 things in 1001 days and I started one on the 27th September but I must admit I am not going as fast as Kate is through them but hey it is all good. I am inspired by both these ladies and the things they are doing that I want to improve myself too and see if I can do it. So if you want to check out what I am doing go here.

I didn't post this last night as I went out to the movies and dinner with Debbie and another Lean friend Delwyn and my hubby... it was a great night and it made it all the more real that I should stick to friends that treat me with respect...

We saw stormbreaker and I must say I wasn't that impressed with it. It was ok but in some parts it was rather cheezy he he he.. but we went to a Thai restaurant for dinner and had so much fun and talked and laughed and it was interesting and the time went soooo fast.

Anyway signing off for now.

Love ya all

Saturday, 14 October 2006

Waikato Times - Monday 16th October 06

He he he got the photo from Crusher this morning which had the photo below attached and that is the one going in the Waikato Times on Monday.

My face is soooo funny... I am looking at Dee (with the ball) and saying to her "I am on your team hun and my foot is in the goal so we can get one" and she looks at me and thinks OMG so you are he he he he she was trying to find someone behind me to give the ball to to get a goal... it was sooooo funny.

Wow I am quite happy with this photo apart from the look on my face but it doesn't make me feel big at all. It was quite a nice change to play our version of netball and boy was I sweating afterwards.

So on Monday after the artical comes out I will tell you what they had written about us...

Today was a good day we slept in till about 8.30 had breakfast and then went to the library to get some books and then picked up hubby's mum and went for about a 4km walk around the river... crossing over 2 bridges and going up hills and had a great time. The weather was fantastic even though before we left it looked like we might have gotten wet.... but we didn't woohoo.

I have been busy making Christmas cards in the last week..... I feel crafty and have been so enjoying making them. It is like me time...

Ok that is me for the day... I am off to the gym tomorrow morning with Debbie... it is going to be so much fun she is looking forward to it as well she said today. I managed to get her a week free at the gym (because she is the one doing the deal with Crusher to do LEAN only) but wants to now join the gym so she can come more often with me. It is going to be hard work I can tell but I am up for it!!

I need to get some more cardio...

I want to be under 100 kilos this time next year!! I need to get off my backside and stop with all the crap food.

I can't seem to stop with the crap food since the holiday... I am happy eating it and I am tired of it too... so as from today I have been good and not eating anything I shouldn't.

I am going back to tracking tomorrow!!! Need to sort myself out. So I know that I will gain in the next WW meeting but hey that is life "as long as I get back on to it now".

I have been back at WW properly for the last 6 weeks but haven't been talking about it much because to be quite honest I have not wanted Kris to go back to the meeting...

My WW leaders have been wonderful and are willing to work with me with my food and some new ideas so I am going to take them up on it and I am going to get under 100 kilos by next year!!!

I should start a challenge 20 kilos in a year!!! that is just under 400 grams a week!! I think I can do that what do you think!! DOUBLE DIGITS by next Xmas!!!

Hmmmmmm scary

Love ya all going to go and do some reading now.
Love CM

Friday, 13 October 2006

Back on Blogger

Ok so I have been updating on blogger and diaryland for ever that is for sure and now I think I have had enough of it and I want to be able to password again as I want to be free to write everything I am feeling and for it to be anonymous for people that I don't want to read anymore...

So the bitch session is going to start!!!

I moved from blogger to diaryland because of the fact that I couldn't say what I wanted about my days.... without it feeling like I had to sensor things!! I know after my week in Wellington that at least two of you know how hard it is to sensor what you want to say when you know someone in your day to day life is reading...

I HAVE to SAY that I HATE IT..... HATE IT.... HATE IT.... because I started this journal really well as I could bitch about my life and people that were pissing me off and I was losing the weight then because I could vent!

I went to diaryland but then found that I couldn't put my blog down because of someone that in my life that reads the blogs reading the comments I put on others blogs so she found me... ohhh I sound like a real bitch and I feel like one but I am not meaning to be one.

The person I am talking about is Kris... Look don't get me wrong but I have HAD ENOUGH of being on this blog and not being myself as this has to be for me to get out my frustrations.

After the last time I left blogger and moved to diaryland Kris emailed me a month later to ask me if she had upset me and we had a huge email talk and basically she apologised for all... the reason being that she shoved me aside for a new friend that she wanted.

I didn't care that she wanted to have new friends because I think that is great but I did mind that she totally stopped going to the gym and totally pushed me aside and when she went to WW meetings she would sit with this other friend and leave me sitting at the back (when I was sitting first) because she had new friend and then when the going got tough and this new friend was dwindling she expected me to just come back and solve all her problems again... and by then I was pissed feeling like a piece of rubbish that she throws away and then decide's oh I am useful again let's pick me out of the rubbish and use me again.....

So I told her this!! and that I am not happy if she does it again because I hated it!!! I am not a piece of rubbish I am a person wanting loyalty and friendship and someone that I can be friends with...

Well as you have probably guessed it has happened again... OMG I feel like I am back at school again... I am 36 years old and I feel like a school kid being upset by a friend... well I am upset over a friend... and what happened was...

I asked her 2 months ago to do the Round the Bridges 12km walk with me and she said "No" as she couldn't do it and I convinced her to do it with me and that we would train and get her up ready for it... and we did do some walks to get ready and she was getting happier about doing the walk.

Yesterday at 9.30pm (GRRR late I might add) she phoned to say that the PTA was going to do it as a team, and that she was going to go with them and what did I think!!

"OMG OMG OMG" she was doing it again... casting me aside like a piece of rubbish and I had been told by a friend that knows us not to get back into the friendship with her as she won't change... but I decided I would let her have the benefit of doubt as she had said she was sorry and wouldn't ever do it again... but she did!!!

What is it with me and people like this... why am I attracted to friends like BLONDE's (if you all have read that saga)????

Kris said "is someone else going with you walking?" I said "No" and she said that she wanted to go with the PTA and waited for me to reply I WAS STUNNED that I said "Do what you think is best" when I really wanted to say GO FUCK YOURSELF. She said "oh you can come with us and join the PTA walking group... I just said "look it is late!" and then the conversation stopped... I asked her to come with me over a month ago and I don't know these ladies at all and whether they are faster than me... they are only doing the 6.3 km's and I want to do the 12 km's and quite frankly I don't think I am being a bitch when I say that the pathways around the river aren't that big to be more than 2 or 3 people walking together anyway. Am I a bitch? Do I deserve this sort of friendship? I think after going to Wellington and meeting the wonderful ladies I have realised that there can be friendships out there that support each other and not be one sided.... I know this!!

Then OMG if at 9.50 the phone didn't ring again and hubby picked it up and said something like "it is rather late isn't it" and then gave it to me... she said... "come on you can come and go on the walk with us on the PTA because there is a BBQ afterwards that I want to go to" (and I think she only asked because she had thought about it and was feeling quilty.

Seething is not the word that I want to say now THAT IS FOR SURE... she then preceeded to ask me how my day went and I just said fine and went quiet as it was 9.45 at night and I couldn't believe the conversation I was hearing.

It was turned around to have it that she was asking me as a favour and why wouldn't I just do it.. I don't want to sound harsh but Oh MY FUCKING God I asked her to go with me when she didn't want to go and I walked with her to train four times... and she wanted to go with people in the PTA for a fucken BBQ.

Hubby said "the world revolves around Kris" it got me soo mad... I asked hubby if I was being a bitch and he said no... because if I had said to someone I was doing something with them then to go and walk with another group is rude and wrong and that she is not a true friend because if she was she wouldn't have done that...

Went to my meeting with Crusher this morning and while doing the fitness test on the bike I mentioned it to her and basically I broke down and the heart rate on the machine went way up and I felt like a silly child crying on the bike... but Crusher basically said that Kris isn't a true friend to me and that she hears things from Kris when I am there and she squashes me and I don't see it... and maybe I don't... she said that since I have stopped going to the same LEAN as Kris I have been better and I am improving and that it is better that we aren't friends or doing the weight loss together as I don't do as well when she is around.

I told hubby that tonight and he said that I lost the 20 kilo's really fast and well and then when Kris came on the scene I slowed and lost way less then I had previously.... not sure if I see it that way but maybe it is.

Debbie is such a great influence (and Crusher mentioned that to me) on me now that she is in our LEAN class because I push myself and we are around the same weight and she is doing sooo sooo well with the weight loss but I am not threatened by it because she is geniune when I lose weight and when I lost the 30 kilos she gave me such a huge hug and as a friend was proud of me... and I think it is making me work on my bad eating habits and it is the reason I am losing weight now... she is so positive and there is no bullshit and so I have decided that as from this week I am going to spend more time with people that make me feel good and that I don't have to constantly listen to problem after problem and try and help them sort out their life.

Which I have to say I am constantly doing with Kris. I am constantly listening to her moaning about how life is sooo bad with her when life is cushy with her. Kris has a great husband that works full time and also works extra jobs when at home to get more money than hubby and I get. He supports her in anything she wants to do and if she wants something she gets it. She goes to the gym every day and she can do what she likes and all she has to do is make dinner for him when he gets home and that doesn't happen much. She has a 3 year old at home but 3 days a week he is at kindy and then the other two days she has him in the creche gym for an hour each day... OMG sometimes I wish we had the money for me to be home full time but then again I like the company of my work mates

Kris phoned today 4 times today and then finally said "I have been meaning to ask you... have I upset you?" I don't think she expected me to say anything but I said "Yes you have and I am not happy with the whole thing" she said "I don't want to upset you" I said to her that she needs to go with the PTA group if she needs to go to this BBQ and she has to make her own decision but I was not happy about the situation and then she said "I want to go with you" OMG the only reason she wanted to go with me was because she knew I was upset now. I said to her that she needs to go with the PTA... but I should have said "I don't want to go with you now because you ONCE again chose a better option than sticking to a commitment with a friend"

I am going to start concentrating on friendships that inspire me and lift me up and not stay around people that bring me down anymore.

Anyway back to the normal CM.... I got a sneak preview of the photo for the Waikato Times today as Crusher was sooo excited to show me... it was of me and 4 others playing the made up netball game with the hooler hoops on the ground and I am looking at the girl in front of me (on my team) saying give it to me I have my foot in the hooler hoop and can get the point but she didn't think I was on her team.. OMG my face was sooo funny in this photo but the photo didn't make me look big OMG I loved this photo and Crusher said that she would email me the photo and I will put it up on her for everyone to see.

Love ya all
I hope that I haven't bored you all... and that you will all keep reading.

Love CM

Thursday, 12 October 2006


Why am I slacking with my updating...

I don't want to be slacking with my updating but I have been wanting to do my card making in the last couple of nights instead of writing in my blog. I think sometimes it is because I don't want to be thinking about weight loss for a while and get my creative side out.

I am making my Xmas Cards and yesterday I made 8 woohooo and they look fantastic if I must say so myself.

Ok.. so for today:

Went to LEAN this morning with Crusher and Sgt Major and I must say I am getting used to him but I also think he has adapted to us as well as he isn't sooo moody and bossy and has backed off treating me like a school kid that has to obey rules... I think that Crusher must have had a word to him... I don't work well with pressure like that....

I felt like a total failure at LEAN this morning with having a week off and eating like a horse while in Wellington and then trying to keep up with everyone... not that there was any pressure from them just that I wasn't feeling up to scratch (P.S Yes Helena I think the roller skating had a LOT to do with it he he he the weight loss this week I mean) I was going up the stairs part and my good knee gave in and I was in sooo much pain but didn't want to let on until it was getting a little unbearable... it is the wrong knee... ya know and I am sooo gutted that finally after building up my bad knee for me to be able to jog that my good knee is more painful that my bad knee...

We played a game of netball against each other and the was sooo much fun... to see how competitive people are is great too... I must admit I am more of a defence person than a running after the ball situation but I don't think I did too bad.

So the rest of my day was a pamper day as a reward for my 30 kilos (Hubby booked the times as a suprise) I had a voucher from the soccer team that I managed for a facial and he booked the time so I would stop chickening out as it had been a month and he also made a booking yesterday for me to get my nails done at Professionail it was soooo nice.... I felt so special and now I have to get used to wearing nails again... I feel like a woman again and not a mum woohooo for me spoilt rotten!

I forgot to mention that the Waikato Times came and took a photo of our LEAN group today because one of them saw us going up and down the River Road hill one morning and wanted to know what it was all about... so this morning we had a photographer following us around and I felt self-conscience the whole time.

I have a headache now because of the day being sooo full on... so I am going to go and make the dinner and then read some blogs later on tonight.

Love ya all

Tuesday, 10 October 2006

Drum Roll Please


Do a little jig!!

Do a little jig!!


I made my
30 KILOS!!! Wohoooooooooo

I lost 1.1 kilos this week!!

I am excited and I am happy and I DID IT!!

I screamed with the WW ladies weighed me and then said that I managed to make the 30 kilo's and I screamed and they screamed and hugged me and I phoned hubbie to tell him and he was excited and said that I am a "skinny bitch" he he he he... and then I phoned CRUSHER to tell her and she screamed and then laughed saying that the people in the supermarket were looking at here thinking "what is wrong with that lady" he he he... then I was going to phone Kris but I got a message on my cellphone to say that I didn't have anymore money left on it arghhhhhhhhh

Monday, 9 October 2006

Wellington trip & Quinn's first day at school

I have forgotten what I wrote yesterday as it was soooo long and then I lost it! OMG it pissed me off like you wouldn't believe. I wasn't well yesterday as I had a tummy bug. I felt soooo bad and like I was having morning sickness again (NOPE don't go thinking that as it isn't true) so when my post that I had been writing was lost I just had enough and went upstairs and had a bath (which didn't help much).

My Wellington trip was soooo full on and doing lots of cool things. I realised that I haven't been spending enough time with my kids either lately and so it put things in perspective too.

I had so much fun meeting all you lovely ladies and wished that you lived closer as I know that if you guys were closer it would be a whole lot easier as the support would be fantastic. I sometimes feel like I support everyone else in my life here (maybe that is the reason I want to be a life coach) and sometimes I need someone to listen to me... really listen not pretend to listen just so that I will shut up and then they can say what they are thinking...

I was talking to hubby on the way home on how weird it was to hear from a couple of people how inspirational I am... I have never thought of myself as inspirational, I am just doing what has to be done to get this weight that I have put on OFF... I mean how can I be inspirational when it was my fault that I put that much weight on in the first place? I have been struggling in the last year to lose much and in a year have lost 10 kilos when I had lost 20 kilos in the first 10 months when I first started. What is holding me back? Maybe I am getting complacent? I don't want to be and I am doing more exercise Way Way Way more exercise than I have ever done before yet I am not losing the weight I want to... I have to do some soul searching.

Hubby's aunt said that she was inspired by me and that she went to the gym to see if she could join up and they suggested she got a medical certificate before doing it but they seemed positive that they could help her once she got the medical certificate so I hope that it does work for her.

So I am going to do this Life Coach training!!! The reason being I want to help people that are struggling like I was when I was 153.7 kilos!!! I think Crusher is the one that has made me think that this has to be something I need to do. Crusher has believed in me and stuck with me and pushed me and I NEED to know that I can help others just like she has helped me.

I jumped on some scales yesterday FEARING that I had gained like 2 kilos because of all the crap I ate on the holiday... but realistically looking back yes I was bad with quite a lot of meals but I didn't go over board but I did try everything and still tried to have some fun. But it made me realise while there that I don't want to go back to all the crap food anymore as it didn't make me feel good and I felt bloated all week. But I stayed the same in my weight on the scales so that was great.

OMG what did I do on this holiday? I want to document it so I can remember:

  1. Friday drove down to Wellington and the kids were fantastic as we had our portable DVD player and they got to watch Scooby doo movie (cartoon) and Peter Pan movie (real people). We got there about 9.30.... stopped in Bulls for dinner and had kebabs so at least we had healthier food than the McD's on the other side of the road.

  2. Saturday was a miserable day weather wise but got to meet all the wonderful ladies I have been writing too for so long. It was a weird feeling as most of you would agree that you know these people so well as their blogs tell you what they are thinking and feeling that you know quite a lot about them but seeing them in person was just the strangest feeling. We laughed a lot and the kids had fun (little monkey's of mine grrr). The food was great at the cafe and what an amazing drive up that mountain (arghhhh my fear of heights were on a high in Wellington that is for sure he he).

    Went home and got dressed for a fabulous evening out for Helena's birthday at a Greek Restaurant and we had a ball... laughing, dancing and talking and getting quite drunk woohoooo. Hubby dropped me off and then picked me up at 2am in the morning... I am not too sure if I wanted to finish up then but hey had to go home at some stage. The girls that went dancing were a hoot and I thoroughly enjoyed it THANK you Helena for inviting me.

  3. Sunday slept in and got ready for Karen's baby shower... well there was a lot of ladies there and we played some games and had some food and Karen came away with a lot of loot he he he well done Karen. After the baby shower Helena, Rachel, Jo and I went to the cossy club and had a ball of a chat and didn't stop laughing the whole time... but ho hum it was then time to go back home for dinner and Rachel kindly offered to take me home (which is way way way out of her way) and we had a good old chat on the way and I am glad that I got the time to chat with her... what a lovely person she is and her car was the yummiest car I have ever been in he he he a Cadbury purple car hmmmmmm.

  4. Monday slept in again OMG it was becoming an habit ;-)
    Got packed up and took the train at 11am to Wellington City to meet Aroha for lunch... the train driver gave us a discount when he realised we were from Hamilton as he used to live there so that saved us some was weird seeing Aroha after so long but it was great and to see her smiling face just made it even better. We went to a little cafe and had nachos and talked (while it rained outside).

    After Aroha went back to work me and the boys went shopping in town and then took the cable car up the mountain to the top and went to the observatory and it was facinating but Quinn was getting a little bored as there were too many words he didn't understand with the guy talking so we went out and left Corbin and hubby there and I gave Quinn some chippies to keep him happy. Went down the tram and then met Aroha at the train station and went back to Tawa to get our car and all our stuff from hubby's aunts place.

  5. Tuesday... Aroha's other half Danny said to us to go shopping and leave the kids with him OMG now that felt really weird and wrong as Danny had his 3 boys and then he looked after 3 more boys in the holidays for a friend and then he had his nephew staying as well... so that was 9 yep 9 kids he had in the house and I felt like it was wrong to leave him with that many kids but he insisted so J and I went to Cuba street and made a day of it.

    We shopped and stopped for a beer and shopped some more and stopped for more drinkies he he he (well hubby did and I watched but it was great). Brought some Xmas presents and went to see Dorothy's (that some friends were talking about) also had lunch at a sushi train restaurant and it was fantastic and what a fabulous idea to get different tries at different types of sushi etc... had a ball and Hubby and I laughed the whole time... felt like we were in a different country. We picked up Aroha on the way and went home to see that Danny had been ok with the kids and also made dinner as well... OMG what a gem he is.

  6. Wednesday was another highlight of the trip... we met Helena and her family at the rink and roller skated for a couple of hours.... it was hard to start with and Corbin was getting frustrated as he thought it would be easy and just get up and do it not realising that he had to practice so it took a lot of convincing... I was up on the roller skates and totally enjoying it.

    One lady about my age came up to me and said OMG you are doing so well and that she didn't have the nerve to get on the skates for fear... I said that she can do anything she puts her mind to and by about another hour she was on skates and having a ball of a time and we just kept laughing about it.

    Helena is a great skater and so elegant too... Quinn was trying so hard to skate and by the end of the time he was a little gem on the roller skates... Hubby hadn't skated before and he was doing well too apart from the time he fell on the rink and then tripped me up and then I tripped up Quinn he he he it was sooo funny but Quinn didn't think so.

    After the skating we went back to Helena's for an absolutely yummy dinner... I really enjoyed her and her husband's company but I was getting a little uptight with the boys (Quinn in particular) as he wasn't listening... he was being a nosey little so and so and wasn't listening and I wasn't too impressed that is for sure. But it was a great night apart from wanting to strangle my child he he he.

  7. Thursday went to Te Papa with 9 kids and 4 adults and I thought it was going to be a nightmare but it wasn't and we had a ball. We explored lots and Corbin was just having so much fun (hubby and I managed to buy some xmas present right in front of their noses for Xmas for them and they didn't realise he he he sooo funny).

    Aroha and I went shopping at Queensgate and spent money and I got some fantastic stuff for my cards and got some stuff for her too so that she could make some cards. I hope she keeps it up as it would be nice to get one from her he he he he.

  8. Friday we got up a little late and went in and had lunch with Aroha again as it was the last time we would see her for a while then went back to J's aunts place and found that some of his cousins came down to visit from Hawera but when they got here they were really ill with a tummy bug so we had to stay with Hubby's cousin next door so the kids didn't get the tummy bug (but unfortunatly I did get it ho hum). That night they had a huge family bbq with everyone invited and it was a huge feed but it was great to catch up and the food was fantastic... There were kids there for the boys to play with and they had a ball.

  9. Saturday drove back to Hamilton and it wasn't soon enough in a way... wanted my bed back he he he.

Soo.... on other news.. it was Quinn's first day at school today and his teacher said that he was a gem and when she tested him on his alphabet he knew 90% of them and I was just glowing when she said that as he sometimes gets shy (hmmm he he he) and doesn't say the right things with the alphabet. When we got to school outside the door Quinn said to me and hubby "you guys can go now as I am a big school boy" I just wanted to cry when he said that as my little boy is getting older ho hum... He had a wonderful day and can't wait to go back tomorrow and his teacher was so nice and he had a ball.

Ok I have written way too much... I am going to go and make dinner now.

Love ya all

Sunday, 8 October 2006

Crap lost the last post

Crap... I am pissed off now I lost my last post and I had written sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much...

So I have given up and will update tomorrow.


Wednesday, 4 October 2006

Roller Skating and Helena

Woke up this morning and just felt like sleeping in... it was a cruisy morning and we got up and made bacon, eggs and toast and it was sooo yummmmmmmy. The kids were playing really well and the grown ups had a lovely breakfast at the table talking... it was a nice atmosphere... while the rain poured outside ho hum (he he he he Helena there is my saying he he he he).

We met Helena and her family at the skating rink. OMG I haven't had sooo much fun in such a long time. I must admit that at the start it was really really hard to get used to skating again....

Wgtn roller skating

Look how sexy we all look in our roller skates woohooo. I had the most wonderful time... you just wouldn't believe it!!!