Lee-Anne you are right.... it is time for me to update he he
You guys know what my weekends are like and ever since I have been to that parenting seminar I have been spending even more quality time with the kids.... so let's see what have we done
Saturday was busy shopping with the kids getting Lego and jigsaw puzzles because we knew the rest of the weekend was going to be crappy so we organised with the kids that from Saturday afternoon till Sunday morning we would have a camp out in the lounge... so we got their mattresses from their beds and their duevets and pillow and we camped in the lounge with popcorn and chippies and drinks and we played Lego and jigsaw puzzles and watched DVD's and basically spent time in our PJ's just doing things with them. It was great and the day went really fast and they even got to stay up till around 10pm watching the rugby (as we never let them stay up past 7.30 he he but I felt generous).... half way through the rugby they fell asleep woohooo so we got some time me and hubby chatting... We also went for a walk down and back on the river as it was nice in the morning when we went.
I totally enjoyed that day doing that and spending money on jigsaws as well.
Sunday was a miserable day but it was not going to stop me doing my exercise.... so we all got our raincoats, boots, umbrellas and warm weather gear on and went for a walk in the rain... I swear the people out there thought we were completely nutty but we enjoyed it and the boys got to trample in the puddles etc so that was great. We went 6,320 steps on our walk so I was pleased with that and felt that I didn't mind spending the rest of the day doing jigsaw puzzles and watching tv... woooohooo for us. I was smiling in the rain because the boys weren't too happy we were doing it at the start but they totally enjoyed it while we were out. We did manage to stop at the coffee shop and have a hot chocolate so that made their days too.
So I am back at work today boo hoo and not feeling like I want to be here but I am and hey that is life.
As you all know I haven't been going to Weight Watchers for about a month because I have been paying for it and feeling like I wasn't learning anything new out of it and that I could do it on my own....
Well anyway a lady turned up in my office today from Weight Watchers (not the leaders just a lady loosing weight) and said that she couldn't miss the opportunity (as her company delivers the bread to our creche) and she told them that she would go and deliver it today and so..... anyway she came in to my office and said that everyone is missing me and that I am such an inspiration to her and the reason she kept going and for me not to be there is quite a downer now.
Said that she was sad to hear that I wouldn't be coming back... OH GOD now I feel quilty but happy at the same time because I didn't want to leave as I made some great friends but I couldn't justify the money either for the yoyoing I had been doing but I might reconsider as this might be the push that I needed??? She didn't have to do that and it was a nice thing for her to take time out to come and tell me that... hmmmm lots of pondering is going to be happening I think.
I was telling her about my delima with Debbie and that I felt like the competition wasn't good and I didn't want to ruin our friendship either and she said "she is such a negative person and I would much rather that you were there instead of her and that I should still be going and if the friendship was worth it then it would get through it" OKKKKKK so that made me feel like a bitch for saying it because I can lose this weight if I want to I just have to work out a way that I can not let Debbie and her competing get to me... I know it is in my head but it is hard to compete with a person that is 10 years younger and doesn't have anything stopping her because she is single with no kids etc....
I just don't know what to do. I spoke to hubby on the phone and he said the reasons that I left Weight Watchers were right and that I was spending money for nothing and that I know what to do I just have to do it and that is what we are working on at home. So now that made me even more confused... I don't know what I want to do.... sigh
I am feeling really great about the steps diet I am doing as it is a little like Weight Watchers but if I want something naughty I need to do more steps etc to make up for it and it seems sooo simple to me. But I do love the support I get from the ladies at WW too... grrrr
Anyway before I do my head in I am going to go.
I really should be blonde shouldn't I.... ditzy bitch I am.
Love ya
CM
Showing posts with label WW. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WW. Show all posts
Monday, 11 June 2007
Wednesday, 23 May 2007
Honest
To be quite honest I thought about not weighing in this morning as I haven't weighed myself in a week and I usually weigh myself everyday.
The reason for not weighing myself everyday like I have been is because I don't want to dread my weight anymore. I do TOTALLY feel even though I am yoyoing around that I am losing inches because I have to put my belt in 2 notches and my clothes are getting to big in the arms and in the waist so I do feel even though the scales aren't saying it I am losing weight.
As yesterday's post you all know now that I am doing this on my own (well with my adorable hubby) at home so we both weighed in this morning. Hubby was up by about 800 grams (OMG) and I was up by 200 grams (OMG I thought it would be more). The reason I thought it would be more is because of Mothers day. Now I know it was a week and 2 days ago but my weight usually takes 1-2 weeks to show up and so I thought with the terrible mothers day I had that I would have had a dooozy today but it was ONLY 200 grams OMG OMG I am sooo pleased with that.
I have been having smoothies for breakfast and cutting down my carbs and having more protein and pointing... I am doing a mixture of Helena's bible and weight watchers.... I can't get my head off pointing... but it is a good thing I reckon because at least that is one habit that I have stuck with aye.
So do a little jig do a little jig Mothers day was combated and I only gained 200grams... if you saw what the boys cooked for me on that day you would wonder why I didn't gain more he he he.
Lyn you and me girl!!! Weigh in's on a Wednesday now wohooooo. Still thinking about the online WW so I keep my record going but not sure.
Anne re yesterday's comment... yes WW was getting rather repetitive for me and I totally miss it because I miss the company of the leaders so much but really I am fooling myself and maybe if I can get the money thing and wasting it out of my head then I will be fine.
I am going to do this and hubby was having a huge talk with me on Monday and saying to me that I have to start believing that I will lose the weight because I use negative talk sometimes and I noticed that I was using negative talk with Helena came up that week and when people were giving me compliments at WW I wasn't owning it and she said to me something like "take the compliment" but I was like shrugging it off saying I have yoyoed so much lately and haven't lost much... so I am going to take the advice.
I must admit the main thing keeping me going is all of you guys and your comments and your support and emails because without it I wouldn't have kept it going! I sit here wondering if that is a form of obsession or is it motivation for me. I look in my in box like a million times a day wondering if anyone has left a comment and when I do get one OMG it is like a fix ya know.... and I don't want it to stop. It keeps me going and the more I get the more I want to update and the cycle keeps going.... and if it is helping me lose this weight then wohoooo.
I have made so many wonderful friends online and I wouldn't want to give that up for nothing.
Anyway....
Went to the movies last night to see scoop with Hugh Jackman, Woody Allen and Scarlett Johansson and it was ok but OMG the acting was terrible from Woody and Scarlett it was like a B movie it was disgusting!!!! The only bonus about the movie was that we were sitting in the new picture theatre in Hamilton and the seats were devine and the screen was absolutly HUGE...
I went with my friend Denise that I used to work with at the University and then we had dinner afterwards and had a huge chat it was great catching up with her and we are going to do it again sometime.
Well I got home after the movies and read my email and had an email from a friends other half. They have been together for 11 years and have 2 kids 6 and 8 year olds... The lady is 48 and her other half is 36 (yep a big gap) we have been friends with the other half for like 18 years for me and way more for my hubby and he was our best man at our wedding.
She was sending an email to say goodbye and that G had left her on Tuesday with no word why or what she had done wrong just that he hasn't been happy for a while (arse) left her with 2 kids a mortgage up to the hilt and a holiday home they just brought in January and another huge investment too. He stopped his bank account and wages and refuses to help pay the mortgage or anything. OMG now I know we have known G for a long time but to do this to his kids is atrocious as far as I am concerned. She is beside herself and doesn't know why he left as they didn't have an arguement or anything and a week beforehand were planning holidays and other things.
Why do men do this? My husband doesn't even understand and doesn't know why and said he doesn't agree with what he did.
I phoned her and said NO this is NOT a goodbye and I refuse to let her think she is losing friends over this because I am not going to be one of them. Yes we met because of G but I like talking to her and it isn't going to stop because he is having a midlife crisis of some sort.
It was her birthday that week too and mothers day and her six year old son said to her on mothers day "mummy I am sorry I didn't get you anything but I can't get out and buy anything I am only 6" and she burst in to tears. He even promised the daughter (8 years old) that he would help her organise something for her to do for her mothers birthday and he never turned up and she was beside herself that she couldn't do anything for her mum... so her mum didn't have anything... no other half, no presents, no birthday.
OMG I am not liking G at the moment as I always thought he was the most responsible person and I didn't think he would treat his family like this at all... Why do they do it? I can understand he doesn't want to be with her anymore and that is fine because you shouldn't be with someone if you don't want to but to hurt the kids like that and not give a reason why you are leaving is really bad.
She said she hasn't slept in days and has lost 8 kilos and cries all the time... she said she even got down on her knees to beg him to come back and work on things and he was cold and said Fuck off... she doesn't know why he is being like this and she said it would be a little more bearable if she knew why but he isn't telling why.
OMG I couldn't sleep last night and hubby and I just talked and talked about what if it was us and it honestly felt like it was us and I feel soooooo sorry for her and words can't explain. I had a terrible night sleep.
I think I will phone her today to see how she is and I will tell her that I am here to babysit ANYTIME she needs a break.
Anyway on that note
I am going back to doing some work he he he
Love Chubbymum
Thursday, 12 April 2007
Headache day!!!
Woke up with such a headache this morning.... hubby thinks it is the pain killers that doctor gave me. I felt better with my back a little this morning so all the poking and prodding on my back from physio last night did something I suppose... it feels like I have a bruise on my side of my butt though he he he.
Been good with food today... not been overly wonderful but been good.
They have a holiday program at the gym today so I booked the boys in for the 2 hours and they have soooo much fun making friends etc and I have two hours to have to myself. So I took mum shopping and I brought the NZ Wedding Magazine so I can look at it and work out what sort of ad I want to put in for Papaya Invites.
I also went looking in the book stores for Helena's bible but they didn't sell them..... it looks like I will have to revert to buying it online... (which I hate because you always pay more ho hum).
Took the wine bottle to work to Carol who got me to make it for her daughters 21'st and I am kicking myself because I didn't take a photo of it.... but I got there and the others saw it and now I have to do one for a 30th one for a 75th and the lady that I am doing the wedding invites for wants me to do some for the tables at the wedding he he he so I got so many orders from it... and I had one from last week for her hubby for his business too (something about winning something hmmm not too sure yet).
I think this business is going to take off!! At least I hope it will.
Next thing I have to do is organise the website and then put an ad in the New Zealand Bridal Magazine.... thanks Lyn.
Got the kids and got them subway and I went and got sushi hmmmm sushi for lunch.
Had to take Corbin to the doctor today as he had an infection on his knee and it has gotten infected (Janene I think it like the boil you have and I have had) So he got antibiotics and while we were waiting in the waiting room a man about 80 years old came up to me and said "you have a well mannered son you should be proud" Wow... tingles came all over me what a nice thing to say... he said that the kids that just left were rude to their mum and needed a quick swift smack. I said Thank you my son is a really good boy and Corbin blushed.
The weather has turned to crap this afternoon... this morning it was beautiful and the sun was shining but this afternoon it has gotten really dark and rainy so the boys asked to have a DVD and we got Ant Bully and it is soooo good and the boys just love it. I brought some other DVDs too for the grown ups he he he... I like murder mysteries so I got some for tonight and also Blackadder (2) because we have Blackadder (1) and I would like to see more... Rowen atkinson is a darling isn't he.
Feeling more positive today... got my first PT in three weeks with Joy tomorrow and it is going to be interesting to see what she does with me... I can't do the cross trainer, bike or rower GRRRRRRRRRRRR so we shall see how she can get me back in to shape aye.
I miss Joy but she still keeps in contact and has been texting me to see how things are going so that is great.
My rings on my fingers are getting too big for me now.. I am a little scared to wear my wedding rings because it feels like I am losing weight in my fingers... nowhere else though he hehe but my fingers go figure.
I looked at the scales this morning and I am down wohoooooo. On Tuesday night I was disgusted with myself because even though I couldn't get to WW I could weigh at home and it said 124.4 OMG I was screaming with anger (take off 800 grams and it is the WW scales weight) so that is 123.6 GRRRR which means I had gained 2.7 kilos grrrr I hate that I can't do exercise... but this morning I weighed myself and I was 122.1 (WW 121.3 so that is only a gain of 400 grams... so I have to work my backside off this week to make sure I get to the teens...
So if I am going to get to 119.7 (WW scales) I have to be 120.5 (at home) so 1.6 kilos has to come off this week!!! I am going to achieve this!!! I am making sure that my meals are smaller than normal because of not doing the exercise so it has to happen!!
I know all these figures but it will keep me focussed. I have to get this weight off!! I am not giving up just beeen in a slump over the fact I can't do the exercise I usually do.
I cannot wait to get the Leenie Bible from the library because it will get me more focussed!!!
Anyway good night everyone... I am SOOOOOOOOOO loving the comments and people that care about me... I do appreciate it
I don't know if you have noticed but I have a 10 week challenge on my side bar.
I am going to do a 10 week challenge to lose 500 grams a week for 10 weeks and get to 115.7 kilos.
I am tired of not getting there!!! So this is going to keep me focussed.
My prize at the end is a WHOLE NEW OUTFIT.... As I NEED clothes
Love Chubbymum
Food today:
Breakfast: Homemade Banana pancakes (3 small)
Lunch: Sushi and Coffee Frappe (made with water and no cream on top)
Dinner: Chicken, carrots, peas, salad
Water: 2 bottles so far
Been good with food today... not been overly wonderful but been good.
They have a holiday program at the gym today so I booked the boys in for the 2 hours and they have soooo much fun making friends etc and I have two hours to have to myself. So I took mum shopping and I brought the NZ Wedding Magazine so I can look at it and work out what sort of ad I want to put in for Papaya Invites.
I also went looking in the book stores for Helena's bible but they didn't sell them..... it looks like I will have to revert to buying it online... (which I hate because you always pay more ho hum).
Took the wine bottle to work to Carol who got me to make it for her daughters 21'st and I am kicking myself because I didn't take a photo of it.... but I got there and the others saw it and now I have to do one for a 30th one for a 75th and the lady that I am doing the wedding invites for wants me to do some for the tables at the wedding he he he so I got so many orders from it... and I had one from last week for her hubby for his business too (something about winning something hmmm not too sure yet).
I think this business is going to take off!! At least I hope it will.
Next thing I have to do is organise the website and then put an ad in the New Zealand Bridal Magazine.... thanks Lyn.
Got the kids and got them subway and I went and got sushi hmmmm sushi for lunch.
Had to take Corbin to the doctor today as he had an infection on his knee and it has gotten infected (Janene I think it like the boil you have and I have had) So he got antibiotics and while we were waiting in the waiting room a man about 80 years old came up to me and said "you have a well mannered son you should be proud" Wow... tingles came all over me what a nice thing to say... he said that the kids that just left were rude to their mum and needed a quick swift smack. I said Thank you my son is a really good boy and Corbin blushed.
The weather has turned to crap this afternoon... this morning it was beautiful and the sun was shining but this afternoon it has gotten really dark and rainy so the boys asked to have a DVD and we got Ant Bully and it is soooo good and the boys just love it. I brought some other DVDs too for the grown ups he he he... I like murder mysteries so I got some for tonight and also Blackadder (2) because we have Blackadder (1) and I would like to see more... Rowen atkinson is a darling isn't he.
Feeling more positive today... got my first PT in three weeks with Joy tomorrow and it is going to be interesting to see what she does with me... I can't do the cross trainer, bike or rower GRRRRRRRRRRRR so we shall see how she can get me back in to shape aye.
I miss Joy but she still keeps in contact and has been texting me to see how things are going so that is great.
My rings on my fingers are getting too big for me now.. I am a little scared to wear my wedding rings because it feels like I am losing weight in my fingers... nowhere else though he hehe but my fingers go figure.
I looked at the scales this morning and I am down wohoooooo. On Tuesday night I was disgusted with myself because even though I couldn't get to WW I could weigh at home and it said 124.4 OMG I was screaming with anger (take off 800 grams and it is the WW scales weight) so that is 123.6 GRRRR which means I had gained 2.7 kilos grrrr I hate that I can't do exercise... but this morning I weighed myself and I was 122.1 (WW 121.3 so that is only a gain of 400 grams... so I have to work my backside off this week to make sure I get to the teens...
So if I am going to get to 119.7 (WW scales) I have to be 120.5 (at home) so 1.6 kilos has to come off this week!!! I am going to achieve this!!! I am making sure that my meals are smaller than normal because of not doing the exercise so it has to happen!!
I know all these figures but it will keep me focussed. I have to get this weight off!! I am not giving up just beeen in a slump over the fact I can't do the exercise I usually do.
I cannot wait to get the Leenie Bible from the library because it will get me more focussed!!!
Anyway good night everyone... I am SOOOOOOOOOO loving the comments and people that care about me... I do appreciate it
I don't know if you have noticed but I have a 10 week challenge on my side bar.
I am going to do a 10 week challenge to lose 500 grams a week for 10 weeks and get to 115.7 kilos.
I am tired of not getting there!!! So this is going to keep me focussed.
My prize at the end is a WHOLE NEW OUTFIT.... As I NEED clothes
Love Chubbymum
Food today:
Breakfast: Homemade Banana pancakes (3 small)
Lunch: Sushi and Coffee Frappe (made with water and no cream on top)
Dinner: Chicken, carrots, peas, salad
Water: 2 bottles so far
Tuesday, 3 April 2007
Don't know what to do!!!
I don't know what to do!
I have been reading books on weight loss for a month now because I feel lost!! I don't know what to do!
I have gotten complacent with WW not that I don't think it will work. IT DOES but after 2 years of doing it I am starting to be soooo boring with my food. I point but then I am getting confused with the sugar points (they don't have them anymore and it drives me insane so I still do them).
Ever since I started the exercise points stumped me.. I mean for doing one kickboxing class I get 13 points OMG I can only take like 14 a week so if I do kickboxing 3 times a week and other gym things I can't take it so what is the point in give us bigger people so many points?
I am not going to WW like I should every week and that is because I am tired of the rivalry with Debbie!! Tired of feeling like we are competing... but I like talking to her but everything is a competition with her and she keeps nudging it in my face that "I suppose you have lost more than me now etc" Which I am 7 kilos of even catching up to her but she doesn't know that.
I need some sort of food plan to get me excited again... I can't win with me at the moment... when I was planning I was overdoing the planning and being annal that I couldn't lose anything and then when I a relaxed and not anal then I start gaining. I can't find a happy medium.
I even paid like $65 (hubby doesn't know he he he) for a book from the UK about two ladies that lost a lot of weight and what they discovered and the book is fantastic and it makes sense when you read it but a little scared to try it because it goes against everything that I feel is right... It is a mixture of a lot of diets... mainly the Atkins where you don't eat Carbs for the first 2 phases and then slowly bring them back in... I just can't grasp the concept of having bacon and eggs for breakfast and no toast... and cream and rich stuff and cheese...
OMG.... if you gave me cheese I just couldnt stop myself as I am a cheese aholic... like some people love chocolate I LOVEEEEE CHEESSEEEE and find it really hard to stay at one slice of brie etc.
I feel like my whole life this week has turned me upside without having my PT's and Kickboxing I am like a bear with a sore foot.
I know I am having too big a portion and I have to stop it but then I am doing this emotional eating thing where I can't get my head around it.
We had a morning tea for Easter for work this morning and I ploughed in to the chips and dip OMG what was wrong with me I haven't wanted them in 2 years why now? I couldn't help it and the more I ate the more I wanted... I am a silly BITCH that can't control her fucken food and I am going insane.
Emailed hubby and he seems to think it is because I feel trapped with no exercise and the pain in my leg but OMG that is no bloody excuse is it!!! I mean I know I shouldn't be eating this crap!! I know it isn't good for me!! I have 1.2 kilos to get to my 35 and it isn't coming!!!
I have to start tracking and putting it up online!!! I have to keep it going and take responsibility. I track on my tracker and I put everything I have put in my mouth in it so I don't cheat on it but I am not feeling guilty like I should about it.
I am really worried about the camping trip this weekend with all the crap I know the others are going to have... I have to get up and go for a hobble(walk he he) instead of sitting there with the food in my face all the time... .
I want my posts to be positive again. I was going to start Lean this week and that is down the toilet because I wouldn't be able to keep up and in the last couple of months my fitness has gotten up to a better level that I thought I wouldn't be feeling a little out of my depth with Lean and now look at me OMG.
Moan over
Going to do some work now ho hum
Chubbymum
I have been reading books on weight loss for a month now because I feel lost!! I don't know what to do!
I have gotten complacent with WW not that I don't think it will work. IT DOES but after 2 years of doing it I am starting to be soooo boring with my food. I point but then I am getting confused with the sugar points (they don't have them anymore and it drives me insane so I still do them).
Ever since I started the exercise points stumped me.. I mean for doing one kickboxing class I get 13 points OMG I can only take like 14 a week so if I do kickboxing 3 times a week and other gym things I can't take it so what is the point in give us bigger people so many points?
I am not going to WW like I should every week and that is because I am tired of the rivalry with Debbie!! Tired of feeling like we are competing... but I like talking to her but everything is a competition with her and she keeps nudging it in my face that "I suppose you have lost more than me now etc" Which I am 7 kilos of even catching up to her but she doesn't know that.
I need some sort of food plan to get me excited again... I can't win with me at the moment... when I was planning I was overdoing the planning and being annal that I couldn't lose anything and then when I a relaxed and not anal then I start gaining. I can't find a happy medium.
I even paid like $65 (hubby doesn't know he he he) for a book from the UK about two ladies that lost a lot of weight and what they discovered and the book is fantastic and it makes sense when you read it but a little scared to try it because it goes against everything that I feel is right... It is a mixture of a lot of diets... mainly the Atkins where you don't eat Carbs for the first 2 phases and then slowly bring them back in... I just can't grasp the concept of having bacon and eggs for breakfast and no toast... and cream and rich stuff and cheese...
OMG.... if you gave me cheese I just couldnt stop myself as I am a cheese aholic... like some people love chocolate I LOVEEEEE CHEESSEEEE and find it really hard to stay at one slice of brie etc.
I feel like my whole life this week has turned me upside without having my PT's and Kickboxing I am like a bear with a sore foot.
I know I am having too big a portion and I have to stop it but then I am doing this emotional eating thing where I can't get my head around it.
We had a morning tea for Easter for work this morning and I ploughed in to the chips and dip OMG what was wrong with me I haven't wanted them in 2 years why now? I couldn't help it and the more I ate the more I wanted... I am a silly BITCH that can't control her fucken food and I am going insane.
Emailed hubby and he seems to think it is because I feel trapped with no exercise and the pain in my leg but OMG that is no bloody excuse is it!!! I mean I know I shouldn't be eating this crap!! I know it isn't good for me!! I have 1.2 kilos to get to my 35 and it isn't coming!!!
I have to start tracking and putting it up online!!! I have to keep it going and take responsibility. I track on my tracker and I put everything I have put in my mouth in it so I don't cheat on it but I am not feeling guilty like I should about it.
I am really worried about the camping trip this weekend with all the crap I know the others are going to have... I have to get up and go for a hobble(walk he he) instead of sitting there with the food in my face all the time... .
I want my posts to be positive again. I was going to start Lean this week and that is down the toilet because I wouldn't be able to keep up and in the last couple of months my fitness has gotten up to a better level that I thought I wouldn't be feeling a little out of my depth with Lean and now look at me OMG.
Moan over
Going to do some work now ho hum
Chubbymum
Saturday, 10 March 2007
Friendship
Mar 10, 2007 at 9:30 PM
Yes I do agree Lynise Good friends are hard to find... it isn't that I don't want Debbie as my friend. I do really... I do... but I am weary now after the trouble with Kris and I also have to be true to myself. It isn't that I don't want to be friends with Debbie but she treats us as best of friends when I only met her August last year and I am friends with her but she doesn't know what I have been through in my life and she doesn't know me like she thinks. I am just saying that after Kris I am weary not that I don't want her as a friend. Does this all make sense?
I think.. I back off when people get to the stage that I have to explain why I don't want to do things and it isn't because I haven't said it to her... she assumes things sometimes and it bugs me.
Like for instance she walks to weight watchers sometimes (which is great I reckon) and last week she said... I don't think I will walk home and I didn't answer and then another lady said well how are you getting home then? and Debbie said nothing and I left it for a moment and Debbie still didn't answer and I said "I suppose I am taking her home" then Debbie said "God you don't have to... I can call (the lady she boards with) to come and get me"... and I said "no I will take you".
Now it isn't that I mind taking her but if she doesn't think she can walk home then she shouldn't walk because it is 10 minutes out of my way and with a V6 car it gets bloody expensive and so that means it is 20 minutes before I get home and I miss saying good night to the boys. I know that sounds bad but sometimes I hate that she assumes that I will do something instead of asking... I would never do that!!! I would never assume that I can get a lift from someone and if I couldn't walk home then a simple please would be good ya know.
She phoned today to see if I wanted to go and get some beads as she was looking for them to decorate a handbag for a wedding.. but I couldn't go and I would have liked to but I was going to a wedding with Jeremy (hubby).
She does phone to see if I want to do things and that is sooo cool and sometimes I so so so want to go but I have already organised my day.
One of Jeremy's work mates was getting married for the second time and we were invited. It was a great afternoon and we enjoyed having drinks with his work mates and one in particular is a new woman that just started and we got on really well. It was a nice afternoon just relaxing and talking.... she has a two year old and talking about all the two year old things was quite funny... it was like listening about my youngest son they seem quite alike.
What beautiful weather and I had a tear in my eye because the brides son (21 year old) walked her down the isle and for the groom his son and daughter were his best men/woman. It was a really nice relaxing wedding.
I maybe ate too much though and shouldn't have but I think I am sabotaging myself in the last week or so... I think I get to the stage of getting to a certain weight lost and then sabotage myself.
I set myself the 5 kilos goals and then I get close and then I go back and forward like a yoyo.. I am not too sure why I do that? I have 1.4 kilos to go and I was there two weeks ago. Two weeks ago I was 121.1 then I gained 500grams and then I stayed the same and then last week lost.
I am not focussed and maybe it is because I am concentrating on my invite business but I don't want to give up that either. I want both the business and my weight loss to go smoothly... I have to work out a way that I can do that.
Thanks for my comments guys I really do read them and sometimes I think I should reply by a comment but it seems silly to reply to myself he he he.
Went to the library today too to get books on how to do the books for my little business. I don't like MYOB!!! it is such a stupid package... does anyone else use another package that might be good. I just want something simple and easy and not all the bells and whistles.
While I was at the wedding a lady asked me what I did and we got on the subject of invitations and she said that I need to give Jeremy some business cards to give to her husband and she will pass them around. She is sort of the age that has kids in their twenties.... so ya never know aye.
I am watching I,Robert at the moment, it is quite a good movie. I didn't want to go and watch it at the movies but I wish I did now it isn't as bad as I thought. I thought it was going to be really really spooky, show ya how wrong I could be.
Did I mention that I got my printer HE HE HE HE LOL
Good night everyone
Love Mandz
Comments
Anne wrote:
Mar 11, 2007 at 4:58 PM
I used to have MYOB but have now changed to Quickbooks which I really like.
Tracy wrote:
Mar 12, 2007 at 3:49 PM
Sounds like you have a knack for choosing "clingy" friends. I think it is rude just to expect you to give her a lift home. I think that she needs to just think a bit more, obviously you have a lot in common & enjoy each others company BUT your lives are different, as you say, she is single & can come & go & do as she pleases - you have a family with which goes huge responsibilities & obligations.
On another nore, I am glad you enjoyed the wedding.
Did you mention you had a new printer???? :-)
Yes I do agree Lynise Good friends are hard to find... it isn't that I don't want Debbie as my friend. I do really... I do... but I am weary now after the trouble with Kris and I also have to be true to myself. It isn't that I don't want to be friends with Debbie but she treats us as best of friends when I only met her August last year and I am friends with her but she doesn't know what I have been through in my life and she doesn't know me like she thinks. I am just saying that after Kris I am weary not that I don't want her as a friend. Does this all make sense?
I think.. I back off when people get to the stage that I have to explain why I don't want to do things and it isn't because I haven't said it to her... she assumes things sometimes and it bugs me.
Like for instance she walks to weight watchers sometimes (which is great I reckon) and last week she said... I don't think I will walk home and I didn't answer and then another lady said well how are you getting home then? and Debbie said nothing and I left it for a moment and Debbie still didn't answer and I said "I suppose I am taking her home" then Debbie said "God you don't have to... I can call (the lady she boards with) to come and get me"... and I said "no I will take you".
Now it isn't that I mind taking her but if she doesn't think she can walk home then she shouldn't walk because it is 10 minutes out of my way and with a V6 car it gets bloody expensive and so that means it is 20 minutes before I get home and I miss saying good night to the boys. I know that sounds bad but sometimes I hate that she assumes that I will do something instead of asking... I would never do that!!! I would never assume that I can get a lift from someone and if I couldn't walk home then a simple please would be good ya know.
She phoned today to see if I wanted to go and get some beads as she was looking for them to decorate a handbag for a wedding.. but I couldn't go and I would have liked to but I was going to a wedding with Jeremy (hubby).
She does phone to see if I want to do things and that is sooo cool and sometimes I so so so want to go but I have already organised my day.
One of Jeremy's work mates was getting married for the second time and we were invited. It was a great afternoon and we enjoyed having drinks with his work mates and one in particular is a new woman that just started and we got on really well. It was a nice afternoon just relaxing and talking.... she has a two year old and talking about all the two year old things was quite funny... it was like listening about my youngest son they seem quite alike.
What beautiful weather and I had a tear in my eye because the brides son (21 year old) walked her down the isle and for the groom his son and daughter were his best men/woman. It was a really nice relaxing wedding.
I maybe ate too much though and shouldn't have but I think I am sabotaging myself in the last week or so... I think I get to the stage of getting to a certain weight lost and then sabotage myself.
I set myself the 5 kilos goals and then I get close and then I go back and forward like a yoyo.. I am not too sure why I do that? I have 1.4 kilos to go and I was there two weeks ago. Two weeks ago I was 121.1 then I gained 500grams and then I stayed the same and then last week lost.
I am not focussed and maybe it is because I am concentrating on my invite business but I don't want to give up that either. I want both the business and my weight loss to go smoothly... I have to work out a way that I can do that.
Thanks for my comments guys I really do read them and sometimes I think I should reply by a comment but it seems silly to reply to myself he he he.
Went to the library today too to get books on how to do the books for my little business. I don't like MYOB!!! it is such a stupid package... does anyone else use another package that might be good. I just want something simple and easy and not all the bells and whistles.
While I was at the wedding a lady asked me what I did and we got on the subject of invitations and she said that I need to give Jeremy some business cards to give to her husband and she will pass them around. She is sort of the age that has kids in their twenties.... so ya never know aye.
I am watching I,Robert at the moment, it is quite a good movie. I didn't want to go and watch it at the movies but I wish I did now it isn't as bad as I thought. I thought it was going to be really really spooky, show ya how wrong I could be.
Did I mention that I got my printer HE HE HE HE LOL
Good night everyone
Love Mandz
Comments
Anne wrote:
Mar 11, 2007 at 4:58 PM
I used to have MYOB but have now changed to Quickbooks which I really like.
Tracy wrote:
Mar 12, 2007 at 3:49 PM
Sounds like you have a knack for choosing "clingy" friends. I think it is rude just to expect you to give her a lift home. I think that she needs to just think a bit more, obviously you have a lot in common & enjoy each others company BUT your lives are different, as you say, she is single & can come & go & do as she pleases - you have a family with which goes huge responsibilities & obligations.
On another nore, I am glad you enjoyed the wedding.
Did you mention you had a new printer???? :-)
Thursday, 14 December 2006
Link for others to read and ARGHHHHHHHH
Hi!
I was wondering if everyone could link to this page for me please. I want to be able to meet other people and this is way to do it.
I have set up this page so that others can come and read... So please link me from now on if that is ok :-)
Went to Corbin's gymnastics show last night and had such a good time watching them. Corbin looked so confident and happy. Quinn said he wanted to do it next year and I will have to arrange for them to both do some more activities next year OMG where am I going to get the time he he he he. Told them they could both have 1 sport and 1 creative each because I couldn't manage 2 sports each as they usually happen in the weekend and they can't be in two places each at the same time he he he.
Corbin watching the older kids doing gymnastics and was watching with such concentration on his face.
The boy in the red is Corbin's best friend Cathan and look at their faces aren't they funny.
Corbin was ready to do his roll and the concentration is still on his face it was just sooo cute (Ok I am biast he he he)
I went for a walk this morning to take the boys to school and then go for a walk afterwards and I walked 6743 steps and it was only 12.15 when I got home woohooo and I still have the rest of the day and also my PT with Crusher.
I am feeling so much happier since not being with Lean... I think it got to be too much getting up so early in the morning and also that I was doing too much exercise. Maybe that was another reason why I wasn't losing the weight. I was doing 6 days a week exercise and I was feeling good but the main reason was for me to lose weight and I wasn't.
I hoped on the scales last night and I was 122.6 (They are always a kilo more than WW so I was happy with that) so on the WW scales I am 121.6 that is 900grams and I am really really happy with that in one week. Last week I wasn't watching what I was eating.. I wasn't eating bad but relaxed maybe a little too much and this week I am getting my backside back into drinking my water and smaller portions.
1 week then I am off for 18 days OMG that is going to be fantastic I just cannot wait!!!
I am going to take photos of my Xmas cards tonight and put them up online. Feeling quite creative in the last week woohooo.
Katie... how is it going with photoshop? Good I hope.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
:::::UPDATE:::::
I got a phone call from Debbie this afternoon to say that our work has sold the business (YET BLOODY AGAIN) the new owners have only owned us for a year and we are now owned by another company... OMG my job changed dramatically last time now I am really really worried that it is going to change again. In the letter it said that all employees will be employed but OMG I don't want to go through all that again...
Why can't things be simple and jobs be simple and that you get a job and that is it none of this will I have one next year or not. I mean a week and a half before Xmas and they do this crap! What is up with that?
I am a worried!!! and all my mum says is "you brought guitars and none of you are using them" OMG my life is upside down and I don't really know what is happening with my job and she says this crap!!!
I have been made redundant twice and I just don't want to go through anymore crap as my life is good the way it is.... I phoned hubby and said maybe this is telling us something? Maybe it is telling me to go for this franchise business? Or get my A into G and open up a crafts shop?
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Tuesday, 5 December 2006
I'm in the Zone hubby says
My hubby says I am finally in the zone and that I need to keep doing what I am doing.
I lost 1 kilo this week! OMG I feel totally in Zone
So I have now lost 32.5 woohooo (2.5 kilos to go till my 35 woohooo and 2.3 to get to my teens)
I am in debt to my WW leader ladies because they finally got it through my head that I was being too strict on myself and for me to have little treats. They are so supportive and always there and I am soooo greatful to them for that.
I am sooo happy with the Geneen Roth books as they are making me think too and making me realise that when I want something to have it but in moderation because if not I am going to eat too much to make up for it when what I really want I am not having.
I also thank all you ladies that have been with me and that have been commenting because without you guys I wouldn't have survived as well.
In the WW meeting tonight I said to one lady "can we swap bodies" because she had done so well... and one lady (who got to goal tonight) said "OMG don't say things like that as you are an inspiration and you have kept me going. Wow I was gobsmacked that this lady had said this because I have hardly talked to her.. After the meeting another lady came and said "you are a pleasure to listen to and that I am an inspiration to her and she keeps coming back because of it and also that I should be a leader" Wow I can tell you I got more out of that then losing the 1 kilo tonight because I am not this fat woman that people stare at at the meetings and someone is thinking I am an inspiration.
I had today off sick... We had a pork roast on Sunday and I thnk it didn't agree with me as Monday and Monday night I was not feeling that good and decided since I had most of the night on the loo that I would take the day off work today. I felt bad about it but I think with all that has happened to me in the last couple of weeks I needed the day. I have 9 days sick leave a year and I have had 1 day (now 2) so I don't think I am too bad he he he
My youngest son had his athletics day today and hubby went down in his lunch time to watch him and I went down to pick him up from school and he was standing at the front of all the kids and parents with 8 others and they were chosen as the players of the day OMG this is from the boy that at the cross country decided to take a stick on the fence as he went past... he he he always in his own little world but not today he must have done really well and I didn't make it to it but hubby said he did really well.
My oldest has his athletics day tomorrow so I hope the weather stays right for him.
Anyway going to go and finish my Xmas cards for the year. If any of you want one... email me with your address because I would LOVE to make one for you all....
Love ya all
Chubbymum
I lost 1 kilo this week! OMG I feel totally in Zone
So I have now lost 32.5 woohooo (2.5 kilos to go till my 35 woohooo and 2.3 to get to my teens)
I am in debt to my WW leader ladies because they finally got it through my head that I was being too strict on myself and for me to have little treats. They are so supportive and always there and I am soooo greatful to them for that.
I am sooo happy with the Geneen Roth books as they are making me think too and making me realise that when I want something to have it but in moderation because if not I am going to eat too much to make up for it when what I really want I am not having.
I also thank all you ladies that have been with me and that have been commenting because without you guys I wouldn't have survived as well.
In the WW meeting tonight I said to one lady "can we swap bodies" because she had done so well... and one lady (who got to goal tonight) said "OMG don't say things like that as you are an inspiration and you have kept me going. Wow I was gobsmacked that this lady had said this because I have hardly talked to her.. After the meeting another lady came and said "you are a pleasure to listen to and that I am an inspiration to her and she keeps coming back because of it and also that I should be a leader" Wow I can tell you I got more out of that then losing the 1 kilo tonight because I am not this fat woman that people stare at at the meetings and someone is thinking I am an inspiration.
I had today off sick... We had a pork roast on Sunday and I thnk it didn't agree with me as Monday and Monday night I was not feeling that good and decided since I had most of the night on the loo that I would take the day off work today. I felt bad about it but I think with all that has happened to me in the last couple of weeks I needed the day. I have 9 days sick leave a year and I have had 1 day (now 2) so I don't think I am too bad he he he
My youngest son had his athletics day today and hubby went down in his lunch time to watch him and I went down to pick him up from school and he was standing at the front of all the kids and parents with 8 others and they were chosen as the players of the day OMG this is from the boy that at the cross country decided to take a stick on the fence as he went past... he he he always in his own little world but not today he must have done really well and I didn't make it to it but hubby said he did really well.
My oldest has his athletics day tomorrow so I hope the weather stays right for him.
Anyway going to go and finish my Xmas cards for the year. If any of you want one... email me with your address because I would LOVE to make one for you all....
Love ya all
Chubbymum
Tuesday, 21 November 2006
Weigh in
I went to bed angry and woke up angry....
Why do I have these days.. it isn't my monthly and I am not due for another 2 weeks.
I lost weight!!! 700 grams tonight.
I am not happy with it.. I do know that I should be but I wasn't. I wanted 1 kilo!! Yes I am a silly COW!!
I can't work out what I want with life!! We are in the process of looking at a franchise business at home but I am scared I won't be able to cope as I have never been in a business before. It is a good business and something I know we could do but totally scared.
The other thing I can't work out is if I want to be a lifecoach or do the franchise? So many decisions and I can't work out what is best. I don't know what to do!!!
I know I am not that interesting tonight but I am tired of my life feeling like it is all about weight loss and now I have choices instead of weight loss I can't work out what I want to choose.
I know I lost 700grams and I want it to keep going down but I can't guarantee that it will because to be honest I am tracking and when I am really good I don't lose and then when I am bad I lose. It doesn't match my tracking....
I have felt better in the last week not worrying about the food and not having morning or afternoon tea and feeling like life was normal and going by how my tummy was feeling as I was eating because I was told to and not because I felt I needed to by my hunger.
I hate water as most of you know by now and I have made a huge effort this week to have at least 2 bottles of water a day and most days made it to 3 bottles.
My challenges for this week coming
I am 123.8 and I have 600 grams to get to my 5th stone! That is what is going to happen next week. I am going to get to my 5th stone!!!
I want to be in the teens by the end of the year. I want to start 2007 off with a bang and not ever ever ever get to the 120 or above ever ever again.
I have to keep up on here as I am slacking in the last couple of weeks. Why aren't I wanting to write in here I don't know?
Anyway enough thinking for now
Love Chubbymum
UPDATE
OMG I got a text this morning from Crusher to say that Kris will be joining my Lean and I replied back saying then she won't be seeing me anymore.
OMG I finally got that woman out of my life in every way and I have been losing and my life has been great and then the fucken woman comes in to my fucking LEAN... and I can understand that Crusher is doing a business etc and couldn't take sides. So I texted her back saying that I will not be in anymore if she is going to join. So once again the fucken bitch has stalked my fucken life...
Can you tell I am angry? Well I am she just can't leave me alone to get on with my life she has to be in every situation.... she is even taking her kids to school so that I see her every morning and before hand she wouldn't get off her lazy arse to take the kids to school....
I didn't want to write about her anymore as life was getting so much better and now this...
I am not going to go to Lean anymore to have her making me feel like a complete utter idiot and to remind me that she is smaller than me and can go faster etc... I HATE her and I know that is a strong word but I do!!
Debbie and I will be going to the gym instead and another lady that isn't going to Lean anymore will be getting together.
Kris would complain about the early morning etc and now she is doing this... and I do think it was all because of Friday night when Debbie and I were having so much fun with our team and dancing and she was sitting on the side line in her sulky little mood.
I am soooo ANGRY!!!!! That my life could be turned upside down like this! I love my team!! I love being with Crusher but I cannot see this woman again! My self esteem is shot when she is around and once again I am the one that misses out.
It hurts that ONCE AGAIN she wins!!! and I lose out on the best team!
Everytime I see the BITCH I want to throttle her!! that is how bad I feel around her.
Why do I have these days.. it isn't my monthly and I am not due for another 2 weeks.
I lost weight!!! 700 grams tonight.
I am not happy with it.. I do know that I should be but I wasn't. I wanted 1 kilo!! Yes I am a silly COW!!
I can't work out what I want with life!! We are in the process of looking at a franchise business at home but I am scared I won't be able to cope as I have never been in a business before. It is a good business and something I know we could do but totally scared.
The other thing I can't work out is if I want to be a lifecoach or do the franchise? So many decisions and I can't work out what is best. I don't know what to do!!!
I know I am not that interesting tonight but I am tired of my life feeling like it is all about weight loss and now I have choices instead of weight loss I can't work out what I want to choose.
I know I lost 700grams and I want it to keep going down but I can't guarantee that it will because to be honest I am tracking and when I am really good I don't lose and then when I am bad I lose. It doesn't match my tracking....
I have felt better in the last week not worrying about the food and not having morning or afternoon tea and feeling like life was normal and going by how my tummy was feeling as I was eating because I was told to and not because I felt I needed to by my hunger.
I hate water as most of you know by now and I have made a huge effort this week to have at least 2 bottles of water a day and most days made it to 3 bottles.
My challenges for this week coming
- Keep up with the water
- Get up and go for a walk every morning
- Cut down the size of my meals for dinner
I am 123.8 and I have 600 grams to get to my 5th stone! That is what is going to happen next week. I am going to get to my 5th stone!!!
I want to be in the teens by the end of the year. I want to start 2007 off with a bang and not ever ever ever get to the 120 or above ever ever again.
I have to keep up on here as I am slacking in the last couple of weeks. Why aren't I wanting to write in here I don't know?
Anyway enough thinking for now
Love Chubbymum
UPDATE
OMG I got a text this morning from Crusher to say that Kris will be joining my Lean and I replied back saying then she won't be seeing me anymore.
OMG I finally got that woman out of my life in every way and I have been losing and my life has been great and then the fucken woman comes in to my fucking LEAN... and I can understand that Crusher is doing a business etc and couldn't take sides. So I texted her back saying that I will not be in anymore if she is going to join. So once again the fucken bitch has stalked my fucken life...
Can you tell I am angry? Well I am she just can't leave me alone to get on with my life she has to be in every situation.... she is even taking her kids to school so that I see her every morning and before hand she wouldn't get off her lazy arse to take the kids to school....
I didn't want to write about her anymore as life was getting so much better and now this...
I am not going to go to Lean anymore to have her making me feel like a complete utter idiot and to remind me that she is smaller than me and can go faster etc... I HATE her and I know that is a strong word but I do!!
Debbie and I will be going to the gym instead and another lady that isn't going to Lean anymore will be getting together.
Kris would complain about the early morning etc and now she is doing this... and I do think it was all because of Friday night when Debbie and I were having so much fun with our team and dancing and she was sitting on the side line in her sulky little mood.
I am soooo ANGRY!!!!! That my life could be turned upside down like this! I love my team!! I love being with Crusher but I cannot see this woman again! My self esteem is shot when she is around and once again I am the one that misses out.
It hurts that ONCE AGAIN she wins!!! and I lose out on the best team!
Everytime I see the BITCH I want to throttle her!! that is how bad I feel around her.
Saturday, 18 November 2006
So much fun but paying for it now
We had sooo sooo sooo much fun last night.
I drank too much but had a great time.
I don't think Debbie and I sat down for an entire song for the whole night. Hubby didn't dance the whole night but most of it he he... I don't think he could keep up with Debbie and I.
I couldn't stop smiling the whole night and it was the most fun I had had on a Xmas function in years. We danced so much that my hair was soaking wet the whole night he he he and so a couple of times I had to go and wipe my hair in the ladies he he he and reapply my lipstick. It helped that I had about 3 bourbon and cokes but not enough to make me drunk just enough to make me enjoy myself.
I was proud of myself. I had main meal and dessert but I only ate like quarter of my dessert as I looked at it as realised that I didn't want it or need it and I gave it to the waiter. Now when I first started I would have eaten it because I wouldn't want to waste food... but it didn't bother me that night.
I can't tell you enough that I had a great night. I have sore knees today because of all the dancing... my right knee is swollen and I have been sitting here with an icepak on it but I wouldn't have changed a thing. I also have sore cheeks as we just laughed and smiled all night. There was soooo many people at the Xmas function and met some new people from the gym too and laughed sooo much. We even had a good time with one of the head waiters and giving him hell and he did in return... how great was that.
Our Lean team got together at the gym before the function to support our other trainer Sgt Major as he was working till 7pm and the function started at 6.30. It was good to get there as a team and not go individually and we had a wine there before the start too he he.
We were talking last night and Crusher (even though maybe she had a little too much to drink he he he and won't remember saying it) she turned to me and said "you are just wonderful and you are going to get this weight off I have faith in you" wow that started the night off for me... it was unexpected and I know that I have to believe in myself for it to happen but to have her say that was a great booster too.
We got home about 12.30am and that was a good time for us, even though we wanted to keep going the party had to finish at 12 and we did manage to keep it going a little more he he. It was great to have a great baby sitter like my mum as we could just take our time and enjoy the night and know that my mum was fine with the boys.
The skirt I was wearing last night I brought a week and a half ago and it was in a 22 and I had to pin it with two pins last night because it was falling down my hips.. OMG that was wonderful because I brought it fitting snugly and my mother was witness as she was in the dressing cubicle with me when I tried it on and said that I should get the next size up OMG and then I had to pin it he he he.
I am not going to say this is going to last forever but I think I have found a groove that I want to be in for a while.... I am concentrating on the food more than the exercise. I was concentrating on the exercise so much that I was deep down in the subcontious thinking it would solve the problem. I also think it is because I have finally decided to concentrate on me and get rid of things in my life that weren't helping and concentrate it totally on having fun and enjoying what is right for me.
Pinkkz Karen made me realise that I have to watch how skinny people eat and enjoy the food and not just eat all good all the time because sometimes the body just wants to have something different and some treats. I have been tooooo strict with my food and not mixing it up... and in the last two weeks I have been really thinking about the food but not complusively so it is going to be interesting to see the scales on Tuesday as I didn't weigh in last week as I had an ear infection and hubby didn't wake me up to go to WW meeting grrr.
Rotten weather today but hubby and I went out and did a small grocery shop and got some dvd as the weather was soooo bad that we wanted to just veg with the kids. With life being so hectic in the last couple of months the veg day today was great.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
I drank too much but had a great time.
I don't think Debbie and I sat down for an entire song for the whole night. Hubby didn't dance the whole night but most of it he he... I don't think he could keep up with Debbie and I.
I couldn't stop smiling the whole night and it was the most fun I had had on a Xmas function in years. We danced so much that my hair was soaking wet the whole night he he he and so a couple of times I had to go and wipe my hair in the ladies he he he and reapply my lipstick. It helped that I had about 3 bourbon and cokes but not enough to make me drunk just enough to make me enjoy myself.
I was proud of myself. I had main meal and dessert but I only ate like quarter of my dessert as I looked at it as realised that I didn't want it or need it and I gave it to the waiter. Now when I first started I would have eaten it because I wouldn't want to waste food... but it didn't bother me that night.
I can't tell you enough that I had a great night. I have sore knees today because of all the dancing... my right knee is swollen and I have been sitting here with an icepak on it but I wouldn't have changed a thing. I also have sore cheeks as we just laughed and smiled all night. There was soooo many people at the Xmas function and met some new people from the gym too and laughed sooo much. We even had a good time with one of the head waiters and giving him hell and he did in return... how great was that.
Our Lean team got together at the gym before the function to support our other trainer Sgt Major as he was working till 7pm and the function started at 6.30. It was good to get there as a team and not go individually and we had a wine there before the start too he he.
We were talking last night and Crusher (even though maybe she had a little too much to drink he he he and won't remember saying it) she turned to me and said "you are just wonderful and you are going to get this weight off I have faith in you" wow that started the night off for me... it was unexpected and I know that I have to believe in myself for it to happen but to have her say that was a great booster too.
We got home about 12.30am and that was a good time for us, even though we wanted to keep going the party had to finish at 12 and we did manage to keep it going a little more he he. It was great to have a great baby sitter like my mum as we could just take our time and enjoy the night and know that my mum was fine with the boys.
The skirt I was wearing last night I brought a week and a half ago and it was in a 22 and I had to pin it with two pins last night because it was falling down my hips.. OMG that was wonderful because I brought it fitting snugly and my mother was witness as she was in the dressing cubicle with me when I tried it on and said that I should get the next size up OMG and then I had to pin it he he he.
I am not going to say this is going to last forever but I think I have found a groove that I want to be in for a while.... I am concentrating on the food more than the exercise. I was concentrating on the exercise so much that I was deep down in the subcontious thinking it would solve the problem. I also think it is because I have finally decided to concentrate on me and get rid of things in my life that weren't helping and concentrate it totally on having fun and enjoying what is right for me.
Pinkkz Karen made me realise that I have to watch how skinny people eat and enjoy the food and not just eat all good all the time because sometimes the body just wants to have something different and some treats. I have been tooooo strict with my food and not mixing it up... and in the last two weeks I have been really thinking about the food but not complusively so it is going to be interesting to see the scales on Tuesday as I didn't weigh in last week as I had an ear infection and hubby didn't wake me up to go to WW meeting grrr.
Rotten weather today but hubby and I went out and did a small grocery shop and got some dvd as the weather was soooo bad that we wanted to just veg with the kids. With life being so hectic in the last couple of months the veg day today was great.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
Thursday, 16 November 2006
On top of the world
I am feeling so positive today.
Got up at 5.30am to go to Lean with Crusher and the others and was worried that Debbie wasn't going to make it as she was quite late this morning. We went for a walk to the dreaded River Road hill and went up and down it 5 times with slow from one pole to another and slow up and fast down and fast up and slow down and it wasn't too bad.
Debbie and I have been quite bored with just going walking and going up hills that today we said that if we were walking again then we wouldn't go back to LEAN till after xmas because if not we are going to end up hating going and we didn't want to do that.
So when we started walking Debbie and I looked at each other... it isn't that we don't like Lean and we don't like the people we are doing it with but it feels like we are at the back and the others are way ahead and we are left behind again... like not part of the team and quite bored with the walking.
We got back and played Netball first with a netball ball and then with a tennis ball.... OMG it was hard for me to see the tennis ball that when I saw the hand throw it I sort of timed it so that I caught it and most of the time I caught it and made a goal... it felt great to do something different and to work as a team not me and Debbie being at the back. I sweated more playing the netball than I did going up and down the bloody hill... it was great. I wish we could do that more often. I would love to play volleyball too... just for a change as I am not liking the walking... I don't mind every second time or something but it is just getting soooooooo borring.
I feel like I have lost centimetres this week... my skirt that I brought for Friday night was fitting me nice a week and a half ago and I put it on today and showed mum and it was kind of loose on me arghhhhh and I just brought the bloody thing.
Went out shopping today!!! Clothes shopping for a top. I just wanted something that would make me look absolutly fantastic at the Gym Xmas party... I have been getting quite a lot of compliments lately and I thought why not show me off he he he.
Went to a couple of shops to find the right top but there are a lot of shops out there selling only sleeveless tops and I have bingo wings so that doesn't help my self esteem.
I brought a Red sexy top (with sleeves) that has a criss cross at the front and it is a nice sexy red... my mum said to me (now if anyone knows my mum doesn't give compliments very often) but she said it really slimmed me down.... so the black skirt and the red top looks devine. I will take a photo on the night and show you what I look like.
I think I am well on my way to getting to the teens.... P.S thank you for the comments on the last post... Rachel I have taken heed on what you wrote and I think it is working... the portions sizes have been looked at and the fact that I am not eating morning and afternoon snacks unless I feel like I need food.
I can't believe the last two months... it has been the most challenging in my whole time on my healthy lifestyle but it has been the best because it is more positive as I am really thinking about what I do and not do to loose this weight.
It is challenging me to think about the food and the exercise and what I really want to do. It has also made me realise that I don't want to do things that other people are making me do or that I have to feel a certain way because I feel I have to to make someone feel happy.
Which is another thing... I am not going to keep friendships on that make me feel like I cannot talk to them and ones that don't really care about me... it sounds harsh when I re-read this but I am not meaning it to be harsh just that for years I was the sucker...
The reason I am saying this is because one of the parents at my work said to me yesterday "I can see how friends would suck off you?" and I said to her "what are you talking about?" she said that I listen and listen to everyone and sometimes do I wonder if anyone takes the same curtiousy when listening to you?.
I sort of looked at her with these eyebrows going up and she said "don't take it the wrong way but I always see you listening to people and helping people that you seem to always give give but do they give you the same respect or do they just keep talking?" Wow... didn't think anyone would say that to me.. especially a parent hmmmm. I do like listening to people and helping them... but sometimes I have to find people that will listen to me. Maybe that is the reason I write on here because people read about me... and want to read (well some of the time anyway) so that is my way to speak and people listen.
I am enjoying the fact that this blog is passworded!! I still want to keep writing on here and meeting new friends but I want to feel like I can write anything too... how great is that!!
Love ya all
Chubbymum
P.S going out tomorrow night so probably won't update till Saturday night and I can put up the photos of the gym night out. Woohooo
Got up at 5.30am to go to Lean with Crusher and the others and was worried that Debbie wasn't going to make it as she was quite late this morning. We went for a walk to the dreaded River Road hill and went up and down it 5 times with slow from one pole to another and slow up and fast down and fast up and slow down and it wasn't too bad.
Debbie and I have been quite bored with just going walking and going up hills that today we said that if we were walking again then we wouldn't go back to LEAN till after xmas because if not we are going to end up hating going and we didn't want to do that.
So when we started walking Debbie and I looked at each other... it isn't that we don't like Lean and we don't like the people we are doing it with but it feels like we are at the back and the others are way ahead and we are left behind again... like not part of the team and quite bored with the walking.
We got back and played Netball first with a netball ball and then with a tennis ball.... OMG it was hard for me to see the tennis ball that when I saw the hand throw it I sort of timed it so that I caught it and most of the time I caught it and made a goal... it felt great to do something different and to work as a team not me and Debbie being at the back. I sweated more playing the netball than I did going up and down the bloody hill... it was great. I wish we could do that more often. I would love to play volleyball too... just for a change as I am not liking the walking... I don't mind every second time or something but it is just getting soooooooo borring.
I feel like I have lost centimetres this week... my skirt that I brought for Friday night was fitting me nice a week and a half ago and I put it on today and showed mum and it was kind of loose on me arghhhhh and I just brought the bloody thing.
Went out shopping today!!! Clothes shopping for a top. I just wanted something that would make me look absolutly fantastic at the Gym Xmas party... I have been getting quite a lot of compliments lately and I thought why not show me off he he he.
Went to a couple of shops to find the right top but there are a lot of shops out there selling only sleeveless tops and I have bingo wings so that doesn't help my self esteem.
I brought a Red sexy top (with sleeves) that has a criss cross at the front and it is a nice sexy red... my mum said to me (now if anyone knows my mum doesn't give compliments very often) but she said it really slimmed me down.... so the black skirt and the red top looks devine. I will take a photo on the night and show you what I look like.
I think I am well on my way to getting to the teens.... P.S thank you for the comments on the last post... Rachel I have taken heed on what you wrote and I think it is working... the portions sizes have been looked at and the fact that I am not eating morning and afternoon snacks unless I feel like I need food.
I can't believe the last two months... it has been the most challenging in my whole time on my healthy lifestyle but it has been the best because it is more positive as I am really thinking about what I do and not do to loose this weight.
It is challenging me to think about the food and the exercise and what I really want to do. It has also made me realise that I don't want to do things that other people are making me do or that I have to feel a certain way because I feel I have to to make someone feel happy.
Which is another thing... I am not going to keep friendships on that make me feel like I cannot talk to them and ones that don't really care about me... it sounds harsh when I re-read this but I am not meaning it to be harsh just that for years I was the sucker...
The reason I am saying this is because one of the parents at my work said to me yesterday "I can see how friends would suck off you?" and I said to her "what are you talking about?" she said that I listen and listen to everyone and sometimes do I wonder if anyone takes the same curtiousy when listening to you?.
I sort of looked at her with these eyebrows going up and she said "don't take it the wrong way but I always see you listening to people and helping people that you seem to always give give but do they give you the same respect or do they just keep talking?" Wow... didn't think anyone would say that to me.. especially a parent hmmmm. I do like listening to people and helping them... but sometimes I have to find people that will listen to me. Maybe that is the reason I write on here because people read about me... and want to read (well some of the time anyway) so that is my way to speak and people listen.
I am enjoying the fact that this blog is passworded!! I still want to keep writing on here and meeting new friends but I want to feel like I can write anything too... how great is that!!
Love ya all
Chubbymum
P.S going out tomorrow night so probably won't update till Saturday night and I can put up the photos of the gym night out. Woohooo
Tuesday, 14 November 2006
Hectic life
Well....
Life has just been sooo hectic in the past week I haven't even had time to breath much.
Friday:
Spent quite a lot of the day in bed as I just haven't been feeling quite right for a couple of weeks.
Went to the Weight Watchers pot luck dinner and had quite a lot of fun and too much food and the company was fantastic. We laughed a lot and it was great to meet up with different people than the people that are always in your life.
Saturday:
Well today was our 11th wedding anniversary and decided that we wanted to achieve a lot today. We cleaned our bedroom, vacuumed and dusted and washed the shower and bath and walk in wardrobe.
Then we rearranged the kids play room.
Hubby mowed the lawn while I went for a long walk with Quinn (he was on his bike) and while I was out walking with my headphones on I heard this almighty screach where a BMW was turning around and the next minute I saw this lady get out of the car and come towards me and for a minute there I didn't know who it was. It was a friend called Denise and she used to go to Weight Watchers about six months ago and she saw me out walking and had to come and give me a hug and say "OMG you have lost so much more and that I am looking fantastic so that made my day like you wouldn't believe.
Got home from my walk and hubby and I did some painting of the fence which took us a couple of hours and then went up and had a shower and got ready for going out on the town for our anniversary.
We went and saw the movie "The Devil wears Prada" what a great feel good movie. I felt a little like the main young actress in the fact that I wore what she used to wear and now that I am loosing some weight I want to wear all then nice clothes as well. It was a good movie and I even felt better sitting in the movie seats woohooo for me.
After the movie we went to an Indian restaurant as my WW leaders said that I am not treating myself enough but as usual I didn't know when to stop and I just felt really bloated and horrible after the dinner. I will gain for sure this week especially with all the exercise I did on Sunday (I will get to that) and then the Indian food.
Sunday:
Ok so I was up at 5.15am this morning! ARGHHHH couldn't believe I was doing this it was D Day the big triathlon at our gym.
This is what I achieved
12 km Walk (out around our town)
12 km Bike ride (on a gym bike)
4km Rower
50 press ups
50 sit ups
The time for the whole lot was 2 hours and 47 minutes which was a bloody good time but I must admit that the bike I did really slowly and I could have gone twice as fast but made a pact with Debbie that I would go the same speed on the bike if she stayed the same on the rower.. she ended up finishing 2 minutes earlier on the rower though... but hey I suppose that is life. hmmm
The walk was good because Debbie and I had our headphones on and we danced while we walked (listening to different songs I might add) it was probably the most fun I have had while walking that far. But we still worked our backsides off.
Went home after the triathlon and had friends from Auckland come down as they are buying a rental property and wanted some guidance as to what areas would be good etc.
About 3.30 we went to the Lean Xmas party on at Stephanies place. Wow what a place she has in the country the back yard was huge and trees galore and we played Volleyball outside (and to this day I don't know how my muscles managed to play the Volleyball after all that exercise in the morning).
The pot luck bbq was good but by about 7.30 you could see everyone getting really tired and quiet and then we all left to go home. I was in bed and asleep by about 8.10 after putting the boys to bed... and I soooo neeeded more sleep than I got but hey.
Monday
Work...hmmm was sore.... was grumpy..... didn't want to be there! But I was there and hey that is life when you have to do something.
7.30pm we had a meeting with a couple that were selling their business. We are thinking about buying a business and with it being a franchise it is well established and the kinks have been lined out and they have been going for like 15 years etc and have a good reputation so we went to find out the ins and outs and found out that they do it from home which suits me and they have 6 staff and are wanting to start a new little team of 2 so there would be 8 staff that I would have to take over and this lady does it from home and works part time in it as the girls she has just make it run really well.. and the best thing is no weekend work.
So from 7.30 to 10pm we were over there talking and I think this lady really thinks we can take it over because she was giving us all the details of how things work and what we do when etc and I am excited but nervous as I have NEVER NEVER had a business in my life and I have never done a business course. I have always wanted to own a business and this is a good way to start and if we don't like it we can always sell the franchise off.
For it to work fully to our advantage though we would need to grow it twice as big. She has 48 clients and really I think we should be a little bigger and see how it goes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the weight loss front I am angry... I haven't been bad! I had my treat on Saturday night with the butter chicken (but I did go a little overboard) and it was our anniversary. But I can't get my groove back with the food. I am good and I don't loose, and I am bad and I do loose, but this week being bad once is going to cost me!! I had a little cheat look on the scales (which I don't normally do) and it is up by a kilo and I can tell you I have never gained that much in one week since I have started... yes maybe 800grams the most but never more..
I know I did a triathlon and I would have water retention and muscle build up but it is doing my head in.
I still don't know what to do.. I think now I am even more confused than I have ever been. I have to sort out my food as the exercise I don't think is a problem. I am only going to do 3 days of exercise for the next month and get back to sorting out my food.
The reason being... when I first started WW losing the weight I only did 2 days of kickboxing and that was it and I lost and lost and lost and now I am doing 5 to 6 days of exercise and I am not consistant... I hate that. I want to know that if I put the effort in that it will pay off and lately I can't tell if I am being good or bad and what the result is.
I do feel that maybe I don't know what all the sugar points are and I am not eating the right amount of sugar points.
God this is hard!!! My hubby said that any other person would have given up and I suppose in the past I would have but I don't want to. I want to get in to the teens and that is only 4 kilos away but those 4 kilos are staying put and they crept up last week by 400grams and this week feels like the same and I don't want that!!
I do know that everyone is in the same boat and I know that reading a post that is negative isn't good and people don't want to read but I have this blog to get out my feelings and see if there is a person out there that has had the same problem and can sooooo offer me advice.
I want to live my life and still lose.. I want to be happy and not to worry about food all the time and that is why I plan down every meal but then hubby and the WW girls say that I am being too strict with my plans but if I don't then I feel like I will go off the rails... I am torn.. I know that the WW ladies are right and that I have to treat myself... but my mind is torn between what I know is the better choice but then my body isn't liking it or is it?
Why is it so hard for some and easy for others?
Gotta go before I get myself more upset
Chubbymum
Life has just been sooo hectic in the past week I haven't even had time to breath much.
Friday:
Spent quite a lot of the day in bed as I just haven't been feeling quite right for a couple of weeks.
Went to the Weight Watchers pot luck dinner and had quite a lot of fun and too much food and the company was fantastic. We laughed a lot and it was great to meet up with different people than the people that are always in your life.
Saturday:
Well today was our 11th wedding anniversary and decided that we wanted to achieve a lot today. We cleaned our bedroom, vacuumed and dusted and washed the shower and bath and walk in wardrobe.
Then we rearranged the kids play room.
Hubby mowed the lawn while I went for a long walk with Quinn (he was on his bike) and while I was out walking with my headphones on I heard this almighty screach where a BMW was turning around and the next minute I saw this lady get out of the car and come towards me and for a minute there I didn't know who it was. It was a friend called Denise and she used to go to Weight Watchers about six months ago and she saw me out walking and had to come and give me a hug and say "OMG you have lost so much more and that I am looking fantastic so that made my day like you wouldn't believe.
Got home from my walk and hubby and I did some painting of the fence which took us a couple of hours and then went up and had a shower and got ready for going out on the town for our anniversary.
We went and saw the movie "The Devil wears Prada" what a great feel good movie. I felt a little like the main young actress in the fact that I wore what she used to wear and now that I am loosing some weight I want to wear all then nice clothes as well. It was a good movie and I even felt better sitting in the movie seats woohooo for me.
After the movie we went to an Indian restaurant as my WW leaders said that I am not treating myself enough but as usual I didn't know when to stop and I just felt really bloated and horrible after the dinner. I will gain for sure this week especially with all the exercise I did on Sunday (I will get to that) and then the Indian food.
Sunday:
Ok so I was up at 5.15am this morning! ARGHHHH couldn't believe I was doing this it was D Day the big triathlon at our gym.
This is what I achieved
12 km Walk (out around our town)
12 km Bike ride (on a gym bike)
4km Rower
50 press ups
50 sit ups
The time for the whole lot was 2 hours and 47 minutes which was a bloody good time but I must admit that the bike I did really slowly and I could have gone twice as fast but made a pact with Debbie that I would go the same speed on the bike if she stayed the same on the rower.. she ended up finishing 2 minutes earlier on the rower though... but hey I suppose that is life. hmmm
The walk was good because Debbie and I had our headphones on and we danced while we walked (listening to different songs I might add) it was probably the most fun I have had while walking that far. But we still worked our backsides off.
Went home after the triathlon and had friends from Auckland come down as they are buying a rental property and wanted some guidance as to what areas would be good etc.
About 3.30 we went to the Lean Xmas party on at Stephanies place. Wow what a place she has in the country the back yard was huge and trees galore and we played Volleyball outside (and to this day I don't know how my muscles managed to play the Volleyball after all that exercise in the morning).
The pot luck bbq was good but by about 7.30 you could see everyone getting really tired and quiet and then we all left to go home. I was in bed and asleep by about 8.10 after putting the boys to bed... and I soooo neeeded more sleep than I got but hey.
Monday
Work...hmmm was sore.... was grumpy..... didn't want to be there! But I was there and hey that is life when you have to do something.
7.30pm we had a meeting with a couple that were selling their business. We are thinking about buying a business and with it being a franchise it is well established and the kinks have been lined out and they have been going for like 15 years etc and have a good reputation so we went to find out the ins and outs and found out that they do it from home which suits me and they have 6 staff and are wanting to start a new little team of 2 so there would be 8 staff that I would have to take over and this lady does it from home and works part time in it as the girls she has just make it run really well.. and the best thing is no weekend work.
So from 7.30 to 10pm we were over there talking and I think this lady really thinks we can take it over because she was giving us all the details of how things work and what we do when etc and I am excited but nervous as I have NEVER NEVER had a business in my life and I have never done a business course. I have always wanted to own a business and this is a good way to start and if we don't like it we can always sell the franchise off.
For it to work fully to our advantage though we would need to grow it twice as big. She has 48 clients and really I think we should be a little bigger and see how it goes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the weight loss front I am angry... I haven't been bad! I had my treat on Saturday night with the butter chicken (but I did go a little overboard) and it was our anniversary. But I can't get my groove back with the food. I am good and I don't loose, and I am bad and I do loose, but this week being bad once is going to cost me!! I had a little cheat look on the scales (which I don't normally do) and it is up by a kilo and I can tell you I have never gained that much in one week since I have started... yes maybe 800grams the most but never more..
I know I did a triathlon and I would have water retention and muscle build up but it is doing my head in.
I still don't know what to do.. I think now I am even more confused than I have ever been. I have to sort out my food as the exercise I don't think is a problem. I am only going to do 3 days of exercise for the next month and get back to sorting out my food.
The reason being... when I first started WW losing the weight I only did 2 days of kickboxing and that was it and I lost and lost and lost and now I am doing 5 to 6 days of exercise and I am not consistant... I hate that. I want to know that if I put the effort in that it will pay off and lately I can't tell if I am being good or bad and what the result is.
I do feel that maybe I don't know what all the sugar points are and I am not eating the right amount of sugar points.
God this is hard!!! My hubby said that any other person would have given up and I suppose in the past I would have but I don't want to. I want to get in to the teens and that is only 4 kilos away but those 4 kilos are staying put and they crept up last week by 400grams and this week feels like the same and I don't want that!!
I do know that everyone is in the same boat and I know that reading a post that is negative isn't good and people don't want to read but I have this blog to get out my feelings and see if there is a person out there that has had the same problem and can sooooo offer me advice.
I want to live my life and still lose.. I want to be happy and not to worry about food all the time and that is why I plan down every meal but then hubby and the WW girls say that I am being too strict with my plans but if I don't then I feel like I will go off the rails... I am torn.. I know that the WW ladies are right and that I have to treat myself... but my mind is torn between what I know is the better choice but then my body isn't liking it or is it?
Why is it so hard for some and easy for others?
Gotta go before I get myself more upset
Chubbymum
Thursday, 9 November 2006
My Weight Watcher Leaders
I have the most amazing Weight Watcher leaders!!!
They both came around last night to talk to Debbie and I and it sort of mainly revolved around me so for that Debbie I am sorry.
I try so hard with the food that I didn't know what to do and these wonderful ladies came around and we chatted from 7.30 to 11pm OMG 11 o'clock and I sort of didn't want to end as they really made me think. What WW leaders would do that for anyone? They are the most amazing ladies. I envy their friendship (in a nice way of course) and what they have a achieved and what they will achieve in the future.
There was sooo many things that came out of this meeting that I thought about the whole night and even when I got up for Lean this morning I was thinking about it.
I am too strict on myself. I have plans on what I should eat and can't grasp the idea that I can have treats. Even restaurants we choose are good ones or I feel like I will go off the rails but it isn't working for me. The strictness is not working so I have a challenge of going and having butter chicken for dinner this week (not to go overboard) but I don't eat things that I enjoy anymore. I have had my life consumed by sticking to the plan and maybe it isn't working.
I went to Wellington in September/October and I wasn't fussy with my food and ate what I wanted and had treats and I still lost... maybe the reason being that my body needs it and until last night I didn't realise that..
The other thing that is becoming prominant to me while they were talking last night is that I am trying to please everyone else but myself. I do a lot of things that really I don't want to do but I am doing it (and realised this morning while talking to Debbie) that I do it because I want the recognition and for Crusher to say "OMG you are fantastic" when I don't need to have that recognition and really I don't want to be running because I am finding that my knees are just getting worse and worse and everytime I say to her they are hurting I can feel that she is thinking I am using it as an excuse.
Just like this morning it was pouring down with rain at Lean and I was thinking OMG thank God that we won't be going outside for another one of our walks again and what happened is that we went outside under the eaves and did leg kicks and stair climbing and squats and walking all with our legs and I was F&*(n sore again afterwards. I was soooo angry. I was angry as my knee isnt getting better and I was angry because my group isn't the same anymore.
I used to feel safe in this group... safe that these were friends and we laughed and had fun and did exercise at the same time. But now we don't have that anymore... we have a lot of new people and we have Sgt Major in there and it isn't the same anymore and I am holding on to this group because of the past that isn't there anymore.
I hated it this morning and finally realised it this morning. I hate paying money to go out and walk and be behind everyone else and feel like I am doing the same old same. OMG I can save my money and go for a walk by myself and do what we have been doing in the last 8 weeks and not get abused (by Sgt Major) for it.
I hate the mentality that men have... where they think "Oh I am your trainer and you must abide by me like you are my slave"... it doesn't fit well with me. I used to get bossed around by teachers at school and not encouraged and so going and doing that and paying money for it just isn't right. Why didn't I see that till this morning? Maybe I didn't see it till I was talking to the WW ladies last night to realise that I wanted it to still be the same as it was when we first started Lean and realistically it can't be the same.
I think the hardest part was that I can do this without going to Lean and why didn't I think about this before..? Why didn't I realise that I can lose this weight and I don't have to stay with the same thing. I lost my first 20 kilos WAYYY before Lean and ok I am fitter but I am not where near where I want to be in my weight loss.
I lost the majority of my weight before I went to Lean through twice a week kicking boxing and totally focussed on Weight Watchers. So maybe I need to get back to the basics.
Debbie said this morning that she would do anything as long as we were doing it together and that if not going to Lean was the thing then she would do it.
I broke down and cried and said that I didn't know if leaving Lean was good because if I left it and then something happened where she pushed me aside like Kris did I don't think I could pick myself up again.
I HATE losing friends (even though now I realise Kris wasn't my friend and I am glad that I ended it and that I didn't return her calls).
I have been holding back on the frienship with Debbie because of not wanting to get hurt again... not wanting to have to pick up the pieces or change my ways of doing things to avoid her like I am doing with Kris as even going to take the boys to school now is difficult because Kris is there... I couldn't also do that with work it would be just too hard.
Pooring your heart out to friends is the hardest thing because if the friendship breaks up then those friends know what gets to you etc... even though I must admit Kris didn't know half the things I felt because I never got the chance to confide in her because we were always solving her problems.
Kris hurting me twice has made me scared to make new friendship for the fear of being hurt... it is like being FAT all over again where I avoid it because it is better than the hurt.
I have my last event with Lean this weekend and that is our triathlon:
I want to be in the teens....
I have 4.6 to get to the teens so that is all I am focussing on right now getting rid of those 4.6 kilos.
So since daylight savings is here this is my week from Monday:
Monday: Rest day after the Triathlon
Tuesday: Gym with Debbie and no Lean
Wednesday: Might meet Debbie at her place and go for a long walk
Thursday: Get up early and go for a walk with Debbie
Friday: Personal Training with Crusher
Saturday: Recover from Gym Christmas Dinner I think
I am going to have 1 treat this week on Saturday night (which is our 11 year wedding anniversary) and that is to have Butter Chicken.
I am going to have a REAL sandwich this week and not just wraps and I am going to enjoy every minute of it.
Karen and Kylie thank you for last night!!! You don't know what a relief working all this out is doing for me... it feels like I am living again and I am doing this for me again and not for all the other people (that mean well).
Deb's thanks for listening to me while I was upset this morning.. you are true friend.
Also thank you to all of you out there commenting and reading because without it I don't think I would have made it this far and I would have kept it all in.
P.S Rachel I missed you while you were on holiday girl! ;-)
Karen woohooo on your beautiful baby daughter... you will rock at being a mum hun.
Love Chubbymum
They both came around last night to talk to Debbie and I and it sort of mainly revolved around me so for that Debbie I am sorry.
I try so hard with the food that I didn't know what to do and these wonderful ladies came around and we chatted from 7.30 to 11pm OMG 11 o'clock and I sort of didn't want to end as they really made me think. What WW leaders would do that for anyone? They are the most amazing ladies. I envy their friendship (in a nice way of course) and what they have a achieved and what they will achieve in the future.
There was sooo many things that came out of this meeting that I thought about the whole night and even when I got up for Lean this morning I was thinking about it.
I am too strict on myself. I have plans on what I should eat and can't grasp the idea that I can have treats. Even restaurants we choose are good ones or I feel like I will go off the rails but it isn't working for me. The strictness is not working so I have a challenge of going and having butter chicken for dinner this week (not to go overboard) but I don't eat things that I enjoy anymore. I have had my life consumed by sticking to the plan and maybe it isn't working.
I went to Wellington in September/October and I wasn't fussy with my food and ate what I wanted and had treats and I still lost... maybe the reason being that my body needs it and until last night I didn't realise that..
The other thing that is becoming prominant to me while they were talking last night is that I am trying to please everyone else but myself. I do a lot of things that really I don't want to do but I am doing it (and realised this morning while talking to Debbie) that I do it because I want the recognition and for Crusher to say "OMG you are fantastic" when I don't need to have that recognition and really I don't want to be running because I am finding that my knees are just getting worse and worse and everytime I say to her they are hurting I can feel that she is thinking I am using it as an excuse.
Just like this morning it was pouring down with rain at Lean and I was thinking OMG thank God that we won't be going outside for another one of our walks again and what happened is that we went outside under the eaves and did leg kicks and stair climbing and squats and walking all with our legs and I was F&*(n sore again afterwards. I was soooo angry. I was angry as my knee isnt getting better and I was angry because my group isn't the same anymore.
I used to feel safe in this group... safe that these were friends and we laughed and had fun and did exercise at the same time. But now we don't have that anymore... we have a lot of new people and we have Sgt Major in there and it isn't the same anymore and I am holding on to this group because of the past that isn't there anymore.
I hated it this morning and finally realised it this morning. I hate paying money to go out and walk and be behind everyone else and feel like I am doing the same old same. OMG I can save my money and go for a walk by myself and do what we have been doing in the last 8 weeks and not get abused (by Sgt Major) for it.
I hate the mentality that men have... where they think "Oh I am your trainer and you must abide by me like you are my slave"... it doesn't fit well with me. I used to get bossed around by teachers at school and not encouraged and so going and doing that and paying money for it just isn't right. Why didn't I see that till this morning? Maybe I didn't see it till I was talking to the WW ladies last night to realise that I wanted it to still be the same as it was when we first started Lean and realistically it can't be the same.
I think the hardest part was that I can do this without going to Lean and why didn't I think about this before..? Why didn't I realise that I can lose this weight and I don't have to stay with the same thing. I lost my first 20 kilos WAYYY before Lean and ok I am fitter but I am not where near where I want to be in my weight loss.
I lost the majority of my weight before I went to Lean through twice a week kicking boxing and totally focussed on Weight Watchers. So maybe I need to get back to the basics.
Debbie said this morning that she would do anything as long as we were doing it together and that if not going to Lean was the thing then she would do it.
I broke down and cried and said that I didn't know if leaving Lean was good because if I left it and then something happened where she pushed me aside like Kris did I don't think I could pick myself up again.
I HATE losing friends (even though now I realise Kris wasn't my friend and I am glad that I ended it and that I didn't return her calls).
I have been holding back on the frienship with Debbie because of not wanting to get hurt again... not wanting to have to pick up the pieces or change my ways of doing things to avoid her like I am doing with Kris as even going to take the boys to school now is difficult because Kris is there... I couldn't also do that with work it would be just too hard.
Pooring your heart out to friends is the hardest thing because if the friendship breaks up then those friends know what gets to you etc... even though I must admit Kris didn't know half the things I felt because I never got the chance to confide in her because we were always solving her problems.
Kris hurting me twice has made me scared to make new friendship for the fear of being hurt... it is like being FAT all over again where I avoid it because it is better than the hurt.
I have my last event with Lean this weekend and that is our triathlon:
- 12km walk
- 12km bike ride
- 4000 mtr Rower
- 50 push ups
- 50 sit ups
I want to be in the teens....
I have 4.6 to get to the teens so that is all I am focussing on right now getting rid of those 4.6 kilos.
So since daylight savings is here this is my week from Monday:
Monday: Rest day after the Triathlon
Tuesday: Gym with Debbie and no Lean
Wednesday: Might meet Debbie at her place and go for a long walk
Thursday: Get up early and go for a walk with Debbie
Friday: Personal Training with Crusher
Saturday: Recover from Gym Christmas Dinner I think
I am going to have 1 treat this week on Saturday night (which is our 11 year wedding anniversary) and that is to have Butter Chicken.
I am going to have a REAL sandwich this week and not just wraps and I am going to enjoy every minute of it.
Karen and Kylie thank you for last night!!! You don't know what a relief working all this out is doing for me... it feels like I am living again and I am doing this for me again and not for all the other people (that mean well).
Deb's thanks for listening to me while I was upset this morning.. you are true friend.
Also thank you to all of you out there commenting and reading because without it I don't think I would have made it this far and I would have kept it all in.
P.S Rachel I missed you while you were on holiday girl! ;-)
Karen woohooo on your beautiful baby daughter... you will rock at being a mum hun.
Love Chubbymum
Wednesday, 8 November 2006
Weigh in 6
Hi guys
This is my 6th weigh in since getting rid of the acidic friendship... I have lost 4 weeks and stayed the same 1 week and last week I gained. I am not sure why I gained but as I told my wonderful WW ladies I am not giving up... I think they thought I might... OMG I don't want to do that.. I have said it but to be quite honest I don't ever ever ever want to be as big as I was again.... it is just frustrating when you know you are trying and you don't loose.
I gained 400 grams this week. Now two good things I didn't go below the 30 kilos and I have had a good streak of 5 weeks of good weighing and that is the most I have had all year because of my yoyo dieting.
I am more determined than ever to get this weight off my friends!!! It is not going to beat me!!
I think I have my exercise down now and I think now is the time to sort out the food even more and really look at it and really try to get my water sorted.
No more PISSING around body!! DO YOU HEAR ME!!!
I have three ladies coming around tonight and I can't wait to have a GREAT chin wag it is going to be fun...
I have started off the way I mean to carry on this week. The girls at WW seem to think that I am not eating enough... so I am going to make a big effort to eat more for breakfast.
Anyway better get some work done he he he... I just feel on top of the world even though I gained last night.. I am doing better in the last 5 weeks and feeling more positive in my journey. Yes of course there will be gains but I have been having so much fun with Debbie and life seems to be going faster.
It is not going to beat me!!
I am not going to be fat anymore!!!
Teens here I come... then Ninety's here I come
Love Chubbymum
This is my 6th weigh in since getting rid of the acidic friendship... I have lost 4 weeks and stayed the same 1 week and last week I gained. I am not sure why I gained but as I told my wonderful WW ladies I am not giving up... I think they thought I might... OMG I don't want to do that.. I have said it but to be quite honest I don't ever ever ever want to be as big as I was again.... it is just frustrating when you know you are trying and you don't loose.
I gained 400 grams this week. Now two good things I didn't go below the 30 kilos and I have had a good streak of 5 weeks of good weighing and that is the most I have had all year because of my yoyo dieting.
I am more determined than ever to get this weight off my friends!!! It is not going to beat me!!
I think I have my exercise down now and I think now is the time to sort out the food even more and really look at it and really try to get my water sorted.
No more PISSING around body!! DO YOU HEAR ME!!!
I have three ladies coming around tonight and I can't wait to have a GREAT chin wag it is going to be fun...
I have started off the way I mean to carry on this week. The girls at WW seem to think that I am not eating enough... so I am going to make a big effort to eat more for breakfast.
Anyway better get some work done he he he... I just feel on top of the world even though I gained last night.. I am doing better in the last 5 weeks and feeling more positive in my journey. Yes of course there will be gains but I have been having so much fun with Debbie and life seems to be going faster.
It is not going to beat me!!
I am not going to be fat anymore!!!
Teens here I come... then Ninety's here I come
Love Chubbymum
Thursday, 26 October 2006
Scared!!!
I didn't post last night because things happened and I didn't get to my laptop.... but I will tell you later in the post.. it had to do with hubby.
It was a huge day at work yesterday as I had to get all my invoicing down by 12 and I didn't have work on Monday because of the long weekend that I had to do my job in 1 day and a half because of end of month OMG OMG OMG what a nightmare that turned out to be and I had a screaming headache by the time I left and I also didn't have my proper breaks...
BUT... I drank all my water... he he he. My goal for this week from my WW ladies (friends) is to drink my water every day and so one of them were sending me emails to say Drink water and I love water over and over again... it was soooo funny and great that they are helping me with my little water problem.
Debbie, Hubby and I went to Crusher's kickboxing class last night and had a ball... OMG I haven't worked that hard in a Kick boxing class ever and it was great... It was great having Debbie's positive attitude and my hubby there too... but hubby t-shirt was soaking wet when we left so he worked his butt off.
Debbie and I were sooo sore when leaving the class and I thank Crusher for that it was a fantastic class... I am going to go next week that is for sure.
Got home and Debbie and I got dressed and ready for the Tupperware party at the WW leaders place and we got there and it was such a nice atmosphere and we were ready for a great night and then 5 minutes into getting there I got a phone call on my cellphone from mum saying "you need to get home NOW hubby has just blacked out" OMG OMG I was (on the outside) looking like it was ok but on the inside my heart was racing and I was sooo scared.
Debbie took me home and on the way I phoned back to see if I could talk to hubby... Got him on the phone and he said "I told your mum not to worry and to NOT call you as it is all right" I am glad that she did phone me as I wouldn't have liked not knowing till I got home.
Apparently hubby was giving Corbin a horsey ride and and Corbin had his hands around his neck rather tight and hubby was just going to say "Corbin can you take your hands away please" and next minute he woke up on the floor with Corbin screaming and screaming and my mum (who btw doesn't take stress well) was screaming at hubby saying what is wrong? what happened? what happened? and so he shouted back at her I don't know but then mum said I am calling CM and hubby was shouting back at her Don't!! (if any of you out there that know him know that NEVER EVER EVER would he shout at anyone and especially not my mum) but she was badgering him that he got upset.
Was talking to hubby and he said "Look you go back to the Tupperware party! (this is 8pm that this happened) I haven't had anything to eat since 12 lunch time and I have just done a huge workout and not enough water and then Corbin had me in a sleeper hold... everything is fine" But I couldn't!! I couldn't because I was frightened of losing him.. I was scared that he was just brushing it off and it was more serious.
So Debbie and I went home and cooked us dinner and him and I went and brought him some Ginger kisses (his favourite) as we don't really have sugary things at home for him to get his blood sugar levels up. He doesn't drink coffee etc to be able to put sugar in so that was the nicest thing.
He kept saying he was alright but to be honest after that fright I couldn't have concentrated at the Tupperware party and I was really upset missing it as I like the WW girls and would love to do things with them. GRRRR
I couldn't sleep all night worrying that he wouldn't wake up in the morning so I was waking up every half an hour to check on him.. I missed LEAN this morning because of it as I was just buggered.
This morning I have rung him like 10 times checking up on him he he he he.
But anyway went to my old work at the University today and OMG the compliments that I got. I even had lecturers that I only saw a couple of times come up and tell me how fantastic I was looking. Hubby's old boss couldn't get over how great I was looking too and I felt like I was on cloud nine. I haven't seen them in a long while so they actually saw the difference.
I popped in on BLONDE (if you remember her from when I started losing weight) she gave me a compliment and said that she could see it in my neck and shoulders he he he he I said to her that I actually have a neck now and not a head glued to shoulders he he he he he.
I am feeling ok about Crusher's six week challenge at the moment and I have cut down on my V's which is taking a bit to get used to (Not 5 a day OMG like the lady on Downsize me the other night)
Anyway I better go and get myself ready for picking up the kids from school soon.
Will update later on what else happened.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
It was a huge day at work yesterday as I had to get all my invoicing down by 12 and I didn't have work on Monday because of the long weekend that I had to do my job in 1 day and a half because of end of month OMG OMG OMG what a nightmare that turned out to be and I had a screaming headache by the time I left and I also didn't have my proper breaks...
BUT... I drank all my water... he he he. My goal for this week from my WW ladies (friends) is to drink my water every day and so one of them were sending me emails to say Drink water and I love water over and over again... it was soooo funny and great that they are helping me with my little water problem.
Debbie, Hubby and I went to Crusher's kickboxing class last night and had a ball... OMG I haven't worked that hard in a Kick boxing class ever and it was great... It was great having Debbie's positive attitude and my hubby there too... but hubby t-shirt was soaking wet when we left so he worked his butt off.
Debbie and I were sooo sore when leaving the class and I thank Crusher for that it was a fantastic class... I am going to go next week that is for sure.
Got home and Debbie and I got dressed and ready for the Tupperware party at the WW leaders place and we got there and it was such a nice atmosphere and we were ready for a great night and then 5 minutes into getting there I got a phone call on my cellphone from mum saying "you need to get home NOW hubby has just blacked out" OMG OMG I was (on the outside) looking like it was ok but on the inside my heart was racing and I was sooo scared.
Debbie took me home and on the way I phoned back to see if I could talk to hubby... Got him on the phone and he said "I told your mum not to worry and to NOT call you as it is all right" I am glad that she did phone me as I wouldn't have liked not knowing till I got home.
Apparently hubby was giving Corbin a horsey ride and and Corbin had his hands around his neck rather tight and hubby was just going to say "Corbin can you take your hands away please" and next minute he woke up on the floor with Corbin screaming and screaming and my mum (who btw doesn't take stress well) was screaming at hubby saying what is wrong? what happened? what happened? and so he shouted back at her I don't know but then mum said I am calling CM and hubby was shouting back at her Don't!! (if any of you out there that know him know that NEVER EVER EVER would he shout at anyone and especially not my mum) but she was badgering him that he got upset.
Was talking to hubby and he said "Look you go back to the Tupperware party! (this is 8pm that this happened) I haven't had anything to eat since 12 lunch time and I have just done a huge workout and not enough water and then Corbin had me in a sleeper hold... everything is fine" But I couldn't!! I couldn't because I was frightened of losing him.. I was scared that he was just brushing it off and it was more serious.
So Debbie and I went home and cooked us dinner and him and I went and brought him some Ginger kisses (his favourite) as we don't really have sugary things at home for him to get his blood sugar levels up. He doesn't drink coffee etc to be able to put sugar in so that was the nicest thing.
He kept saying he was alright but to be honest after that fright I couldn't have concentrated at the Tupperware party and I was really upset missing it as I like the WW girls and would love to do things with them. GRRRR
I couldn't sleep all night worrying that he wouldn't wake up in the morning so I was waking up every half an hour to check on him.. I missed LEAN this morning because of it as I was just buggered.
This morning I have rung him like 10 times checking up on him he he he he.
But anyway went to my old work at the University today and OMG the compliments that I got. I even had lecturers that I only saw a couple of times come up and tell me how fantastic I was looking. Hubby's old boss couldn't get over how great I was looking too and I felt like I was on cloud nine. I haven't seen them in a long while so they actually saw the difference.
I popped in on BLONDE (if you remember her from when I started losing weight) she gave me a compliment and said that she could see it in my neck and shoulders he he he he I said to her that I actually have a neck now and not a head glued to shoulders he he he he he.
I am feeling ok about Crusher's six week challenge at the moment and I have cut down on my V's which is taking a bit to get used to (Not 5 a day OMG like the lady on Downsize me the other night)
Anyway I better go and get myself ready for picking up the kids from school soon.
Will update later on what else happened.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
Tuesday, 10 October 2006
Drum Roll Please
DRUMMMMMMM
ROLLLLLLLL
PLEAAASSEE
ROLLLLLLLL
PLEAAASSEE
Do a little jig!!
Do a little jig!!
--------------------------------------------------------------
I made my 30 KILOS!!! Wohoooooooooo
I made my 30 KILOS!!! Wohoooooooooo
--------------------------------------------------------------
I lost 1.1 kilos this week!!
I lost 1.1 kilos this week!!
I am excited and I am happy and I DID IT!!
I screamed with the WW ladies weighed me and then said that I managed to make the 30 kilo's and I screamed and they screamed and hugged me and I phoned hubbie to tell him and he was excited and said that I am a "skinny bitch" he he he he... and then I phoned CRUSHER to tell her and she screamed and then laughed saying that the people in the supermarket were looking at here thinking "what is wrong with that lady" he he he... then I was going to phone Kris but I got a message on my cellphone to say that I didn't have anymore money left on it arghhhhhhhhh
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)