Tuesday, 3 April 2007

Don't know what to do!!!

I don't know what to do!

I have been reading books on weight loss for a month now because I feel lost!! I don't know what to do!

I have gotten complacent with WW not that I don't think it will work. IT DOES but after 2 years of doing it I am starting to be soooo boring with my food. I point but then I am getting confused with the sugar points (they don't have them anymore and it drives me insane so I still do them).

Ever since I started the exercise points stumped me.. I mean for doing one kickboxing class I get 13 points OMG I can only take like 14 a week so if I do kickboxing 3 times a week and other gym things I can't take it so what is the point in give us bigger people so many points?

I am not going to WW like I should every week and that is because I am tired of the rivalry with Debbie!! Tired of feeling like we are competing... but I like talking to her but everything is a competition with her and she keeps nudging it in my face that "I suppose you have lost more than me now etc" Which I am 7 kilos of even catching up to her but she doesn't know that.

I need some sort of food plan to get me excited again... I can't win with me at the moment... when I was planning I was overdoing the planning and being annal that I couldn't lose anything and then when I a relaxed and not anal then I start gaining. I can't find a happy medium.

I even paid like $65 (hubby doesn't know he he he) for a book from the UK about two ladies that lost a lot of weight and what they discovered and the book is fantastic and it makes sense when you read it but a little scared to try it because it goes against everything that I feel is right... It is a mixture of a lot of diets... mainly the Atkins where you don't eat Carbs for the first 2 phases and then slowly bring them back in... I just can't grasp the concept of having bacon and eggs for breakfast and no toast... and cream and rich stuff and cheese...

OMG.... if you gave me cheese I just couldnt stop myself as I am a cheese aholic... like some people love chocolate I LOVEEEEE CHEESSEEEE and find it really hard to stay at one slice of brie etc.

I feel like my whole life this week has turned me upside without having my PT's and Kickboxing I am like a bear with a sore foot.

I know I am having too big a portion and I have to stop it but then I am doing this emotional eating thing where I can't get my head around it.

We had a morning tea for Easter for work this morning and I ploughed in to the chips and dip OMG what was wrong with me I haven't wanted them in 2 years why now? I couldn't help it and the more I ate the more I wanted... I am a silly BITCH that can't control her fucken food and I am going insane.

Emailed hubby and he seems to think it is because I feel trapped with no exercise and the pain in my leg but OMG that is no bloody excuse is it!!! I mean I know I shouldn't be eating this crap!! I know it isn't good for me!! I have 1.2 kilos to get to my 35 and it isn't coming!!!

I have to start tracking and putting it up online!!! I have to keep it going and take responsibility. I track on my tracker and I put everything I have put in my mouth in it so I don't cheat on it but I am not feeling guilty like I should about it.

I am really worried about the camping trip this weekend with all the crap I know the others are going to have... I have to get up and go for a hobble(walk he he) instead of sitting there with the food in my face all the time... .

I want my posts to be positive again. I was going to start Lean this week and that is down the toilet because I wouldn't be able to keep up and in the last couple of months my fitness has gotten up to a better level that I thought I wouldn't be feeling a little out of my depth with Lean and now look at me OMG.

Moan over
Going to do some work now ho hum



tracy said...

Oh Dear, you poor girl, this injury has really thrown you. Just when you thought your plateau has disappered, no wonder you are frustrated & upset. I think it was the frustration that made you go for the chips & dip, it is classic emotional eating.

What is done is done, can't change it so lets carry on eating healthy for the rest of the day :-)

With regards to portion size, have you tried using a bread & butter plate, I find this works quite well, if it is not enough the first time you can always go back for seconds (I haven't yet though).

Maybe plan the meals but not allocate which day will be what, or plan 5 days & leave 2 to allow for the unexpected.

I hope you feel better soon & know that you have the support here, feel free to whinge as much as you like. As for the camping trip, position yourself as far away from the nibbles as you can & go for lots of walks if your injury will allow & don't worry about it for a couple of days, just relax & enjoy yourself, if you put on a couple of kilos, it does not matter, you will shift them quickly enough. It is more important that you have a great time & do the best you can.

Have a good evening.

Janene said...

Hey CM, re the emotional eating, have you read Geneen Roth's books? I can lend you a couple if you like. Don't be too hard on yourself for eating chip & dip. You are not a silly b*tch, you just had a moment where you made a decision that didn't fit in with your eating plan, but that met a need within you that you obviously didn't know you had. Maybe you're an "all or nothing" type of person, so your brain is saying, "well I can't exercise, so I'm just going to eat what I want"... just an idea anyway :)


Anne said...

Sat here for ages wondering what I could say to help!! The others have done a good job there though! I think we have all gone through times like this, in fact I know have. W we are going well - all's good then wham, something jumps up and hits you in the face! I really do know how frustrating the injury is for you. Right at the start of me joining WW I fractured my ankle walking. I felt like crying when I found out as I was making a huge effort to get fitter and lose weight. Thought all my efforts were down the drain - but it's only a temporary thing. Had a couple of injuries since then - all you can do really is ride it out, listen to your body and don't attempt to rush back before you are ready. Really very hard - but do take care. I've found out the hard way!

Also Janene's all or nothing theory has something in it!

And yep - we have one of those weekends ahead. We are of to the beach with friends, I can just see the food that will arrive - easter eggs, buns, cheeses, dips, chippies - then BBQs, wine and beer. Scary!!!! Main thing - enjoy!! Life that is not the food. Stay clear if you can of the pre dinner nibbles, plan a couple of treats but also have your contribution to the meals and nibbles as healthy ones - and good luck!!

P.s. you aren't a silly bitch - just human:-)

Leighanne said...

The girls have given great advice!!
I am feeling in a slump myself at the moment - with my brother sick, I haven't been exercising or planning meals properly...I think the main thing is to not give up!!!

Have a great day xxx

Rachel said...

Hi CM,

I tried to comment on your blog but my work computer is USELESS and wouldn't let me.

The only thing I can think of is STOP counting your exercise points and having them as bonus points..........don't use them, just stick to your daily points allowance and any exercise you do is a BONUS (you know what I mean ay?).

If WW is boring you, get a REALLY good set of scales and weigh in yourself once a week (it will save you money) because you know how many points you are suppose to be on.

I was soooooooooo jealous that you and Chris H got to meet up for a coffee, I would have loved to be there. I have only met Chris once at a picnic we had but didn't really get a chance to have a good chat as I had to leave early.

Chin up chicky, slow and steady wins the race.


Felicity said...

You Me out the back and I will give u a good thumping...no seriously girl when u get back from Easter break we are going to work this together each day we will post our foods eaten and we will budge this blubber Gee I wish I was closer so we could do it together in real life. But stop bashing yourself up as u can see it isn't helping...do u have any vitamin B6 tabs take them for a month and they will clear your head of all the negitive shit and oh yeah make ya pee for africa hehehe(must practise what I preach there and get mine out)