Saturday, 31 March 2007
It is only 1.30 and I have had a full on morning.
Got up early and met Debbie at the storage units to help her move to her new house that she brought.... I couldn't lift anything but hubby could but I did unpack the kitchen so I felt useful and I got EXERCISE wohhooooo how frustrating to not be able to bend and walk and do normal things. I dropped a blanket and I couldn't even pick it up because bending with a sore calf, hamstring and back is impossible grrrr.
I was sweating like a pig though undoing boxes and putting dishes in the cupboards woohooo I found a way to exercise. I must admit though the standing was bad and sore but hey!!! I took a voltaren before going and had a V so I was happy. I am resting now but did do some shopping after helping Debbie.
I have my first wedding this year to do and so I went out to get the paper to do the invitations wohooooo. I am not making much on it but it is something and it is my business aye. I am quite proud of these invites because I designed them myself. I had another one in mind for her but she didn't want to go that way but it was different and I suppose I like different and out of the square.
OMG I want more weddings to do... going in to the stationery shops and buying paper and things was sooo much fun this morning. With the little extra I am making on this wedding I went and already spent it he he he only because I needed a way to display my invitations that I went and brought a lovely photo album that I can display them in.
I thought I might do it like a scrapbook so that they are presented well. I can't wait to have a go at doing it. I might take it camping next week and do it because with Tania there I am sure that she will be taking some form of craft with her. Or I might take my knitting he he he I am making a really nice autumn colour scarf for me (nice a fluffy) he he he.
I will take a photo of the album once I finish it.
OMG I can't believe my first wedding is happening. Even though this woman doesn't get married till October he he he.
I was thinking that I might get some sort of little present to put with the invitations when finished and paid for so that I tell the person how much I appreciate them using me for the wedding invite creator.... hmmmm so if anyone can think of any suggestions I would appreciate it. I was sort of going with something small like a little box with two heart chocolates in it all done up with ribbon or something. I don't want anything too big just a token of my appreciation ya know?
On the weight front I am not doing too bad... I have 1.2 (as mentioned soooo many times he he he) but with not doing exercise I am sooo hoping that I lose that this week I really really want to be at the 35 kilos and when I do hubby is going to do something romantic. I told him it didn't have to cost money but something nice for me and him to do etc on a date night. I mean I don't care if it is get a cooked chicken and go to the river ya know.
Anyway I am having my lunch now... will update later.
Love ya all
Friday, 30 March 2007
I phoned up and made an appointment and got one at 10.40 and before that I went to visit Tania at her shop and we sat and talked and it was nice... I got a bit upset because I can't sit without being in pain and also driving is painful. It was nice to catch up with Tania and have a good chat. She gave me a hug and said she was sorry for giving me hell about K. I said to her I understand why she goes at me about K and I understand that I need to keep away from her but I am not a fool... I have stopped replying to her texts and I say hello at school this week and I am happy with that.
I would never be upset with Tania... she can be a bit straight forward sometimes but I know it is with good intentions. I said to her if I was truly pissed off with her I promise I would tell her to F**K off he he and she laughed.
So anyway I have exercises to do to stretch my muscles and have to go back to him on Wednesday night... OMG I hope I can last till then and I hope the stretches help too. He said to take some pain killers to help things... I said I can take panadol but not Voltaren because of my ulcer grrrr... I hope that panadol works.
My mum is at bingo today and I must say it is nice having the house to myself and doing things for me. I was going to go and have a bath but was too scared I wouldn't have been able to get back out he he.
I am still being really good with my food but with not being able to do exercise I am not sure if I am going to make it to my 35 kilos before Easter. I will be so so so pissed off that is for sure.
I am glad to be back on blogger. I did like Vox but I am more at home on Blogger and I can put my stuff down the sides. I have to update with peoples blogs on the side bar but will get to that. If you read and want your blog on the side please tell me.
Love ya all
Thursday, 29 March 2007
Saturday and Sunday
Got up all energised this morning (Sunday).... I have been reading two books at the moment:
Awaken the Giant within by Anthony Robbins
Live the life you love and stop just getting by.. by Barbara Sher
What great authors they are. Barbara Sher made me realise with a couple of activities she made me do that I get all fired up with Revenge (there are other catagories like Shaming, scolding, lecturing, competition, fear, affirmations, pain driven, spirituality, guilt, praying, dares, positive thinking, getting lots of praise, help from buddies)... now I know that Revenge doesn't sound good but I get more focused on the job at hand if I want to tell or show someone that they are wrong and I just want to say nah nah nah nah nah see I can do it you silly person and I want to piss you off.
I did it in 2005 when I first started trying to lose weight and my friend Tania told me that I couldn't lose 20 kilos in a year and I went out to prove her wrong and I did it in 10 months. Revenge in the sense that I wanted to prove her wrong and to show her I could do just as well as she had.
Excerpt from Barbara's Book: "A cousin of competition, and a funny one at that, is "Revenge" A friend of mine described it this way "All I have to do to succeed at something is imagine how happy my enemies would be if I failed. That makes me nuts, I can't stand it! And then I think of how they'd hate it if I succeeded and I just smile inside and get going!"
Well I am out to prove to Kris that just because our friendship has ended.. that I am not going to let her get the better of me that my life still goes on and even though she tried to sabotage my trainer I wasn't going to let her sabotage my life anymore. I was going to do this despite her!!
I made sure that I went to the gym today and get on with my training FOR ME. I am not going to stop going on Sunday's because of her anymore, and she was there today. I am not going to go to Lean for a little while longer as I still have that anger and I don't want it to effect other people in my Lean group as that isn't fair, but I am going back to Lean and I will be fired up.
So I went today (Sunday) with hubby and OMG it fired me up that she was there (I wasn't sure if she was going to be there or not) but I went on the rower and did 1500 metres in 8 minutes OMG OMG OMG it used to take me 11 minutes to do that so I was on fire. I ran on the treadmill too (as Kris has never seen me do that either). I know that it sounds bitchy but I think I have found the key to getting to motivating me to stop just aiming at what I have always done and to up the anty a little.
In Today's routine
- 1500 mtrs on Rower
- Water bike for the arms (10 minutes)
- Treadmill and walked/ran for 10 minutes
- Weights for those bingo wings of mine
- Kickboxing with hubby with arms and legs
- Crunches 20 x 3
- Side Crunches 20 x 3
Was really happy with the achievement at the gym today I up'd my anti and it made me feel good that I got up and didn't just stay in bed and veg.
We went outside after lunch today to get all the dead leaves etc out of our garden until it started raining.. Can you believe it is Summer as sometimes I feel like we are in spring etc with the changes in weather like this.
We made corn frittas for lunch and they were so so so yummy. It was nice for a change as sometimes lunches can get so boring when you have the same thing all the time.
The boys are watching Scooby Doo at the moment because the weather is so bad outside.. they did go on their bikes for most of the morning but now they are just veging.... which is fine by me as long as they aren't inside all day... it is a pet peeve of mine.
Anyway going to go back to reading my books woohooo.
Love ya all
P.S I am feeling a little upset about tomorrow being my first day with the new bosses.... scares me a little really. I don't want things to change but fear that it is going to happen and I have no choice. My tummy has got bloody birds (not butterflies) moving around in there ho hum.
Feb 4, 2007 at 3:10 PM
Well done. And I say whatever gets you motivated. Enjoy the rest of the day.
PS: The secret is out.
Chris H wrote:
Feb 4, 2007 at 4:37 PM
Ya for upping the anti, that is exactly what I did last week and it works, so good for you. I hope you have a fantastic week, I'm going to!
Feb 5, 2007 at 1:04 AM
Unleash The Power Within is also such a powerful book. And by the sounds of things you are starting to look inwards and doing things FOR you instead of AGAINST someone else. It's a good thing :)
Have a great week and keep up that excellent training.
Feb 5, 2007 at 11:07 AM
Those books sound great!!!!
Good luck with work...you will do fine
Tuesday, 27 March 2007
Nervous about weigh in tonight.
But think I did ok..
We shall see
It will be late updating as I am going out to dinner straight afterwards with friends that are over here from Melbourne woohooo
DRUM ROLL PLEASE OMG OMG I lost 1.5 kilos WOHOOOOOOOOOOOO as you know I don't ever lose that amount EVER EVER EVER.... it is usually 800 or less so WOHOOOOOOOOOOO.
I was so happy.
So I have 1.2 to get to 35 kilos and 900 grams to get to the TEENS and I am going to do this!! I have to as I am getting sick to death of yoyoing.... AND IT IS MY OWN FAULT no one else to blame but me.
I tracked this week like you wouldn't believe. I have been tracking since January every single day but I haven't been totally focused on the points ya know... still putting everything down just not worrying if I go over or under and I think that was the mistake.
I am soooo happy and feel really good that I am finally feeling like I am on track.
Love ya all
Celtic Girl wrote:
Mar 27, 2007 at 3:21 PM
Good luck with your weigh in and remember what happens,happens, you can't change the past only the future.
Mar 28, 2007 at 8:33 AM
Well done! You must feel great :-)
Mar 28, 2007 at 9:22 AM
Well done - you've worked hard for that!
Mar 28, 2007 at 2:48 PM
Fantastic loss!!!!!!!! Roll on the teens. Congratulations :-)
Chris H wrote:
Mar 28, 2007 at 6:24 PM
WOOO HOOO way to go, you rock girl! Roll on the teens1
Monday, 26 March 2007
My week has has so many ups and downs...
So be aware that this might end up a long post. I haven't posted since last Monday... OMG didn't realise it has been that long.
I must admit I didn't want to post and now there has been so much happening it is like a nightmare trying to get it all down. I have to write it for myself because if not I won't know what happened in a year etc.
Weigh in day... I so so so didn't want to go in because I knew that I hadn't been good!! And it was all my problem and my fault that is for sure.
So I went there and I weighed and I gained 1.3 OMG I have NEVER NEVER gained that much since I started. The most I have gained is about 400 grams and I am usually happy with that.
I wasn't totally upset because I knew why I had gained and it was my fault but I felt so so bad because I have been yoyoing again.. and I HATE THAT!!!! I want to get this weight off.
OMG when am I going to get it in to my thick head that I have to do this.
I am now 122.5 kilos and have lost 32.2 kilos OMG what an idiot I am.
Went to work feeling ok and thinking well this is my start to a new week and got to 10.30 then had a phone call from my mum all upset and crying and I couldn't understand a word of what she was saying but then after calming her down I found out that my uncle had died in his sleep. So I rang my boss in Auckland and she said "you go, family comes first and I will put it down as bereavement leave" and she also did the remainder of my work for me... OMG I do like my new boss she has been so understanding and easy to talk to.
So that afternoon was basically talking to my mum and to other family members sorting things out.
Today was an ok day... not too sure how I was feeling. I had a text message from a friend that lives in Melbourne asking if I wanted some compnany? I said yes when would she be coming to New Zealand.. she said I am here now OMG GEESH couldn't she have given me more warning he he he. So anyway she came over and we walked to school to get the kids in the afternoon. It was great to catch up. I was her bridesmaid about 2 years ago and she is now pregnant and due in June... she looks fantastic. We are going out for dinner with her and her hubby on tomorrow night too (Tuesday as I am writing this on Monday he he)
Friday consisted of going to the gym and working out with Joy and listening to all the crap happening at the gym and thinking OMG I should just get out of here because it is like Days of our Lives.. and I just want to go and have a great work out and now I have dramas galore at the gym with having Kris there at the same time and then what is happening to the trainers... to tell you the truth I have had enough!!
The funeral was today and as you can imagine my mum was not very good today so the day was spent trying to keep her mind in a better place.
Got up early on Saturday as I was nervous about meeting ChrisH... I am always nervous about meeting people.. always wondering what they would think of me and that I probably look bigger in person than I do online. It was a great morning tea... we talked and talked and it didn't feel strained at all. She is such a great person to meet and she makes you feel like you have known her for years. She got to meet my boys as well... but they didn't stay they went shopping and to the library.
So this is when things on Saturday turned to SHIT.... at 5pm got a phone call from Kris!!! OOOPs forgot to say I got a text from her at 7.30am Saturday morning telling me she was in respite care as she tried to kill herself last night (her youngest's birthday too). I didn't know what to say. I was feeling quite angry at her because how could she do this on her son's birthday.. he is only 3 and he should have had a great day with kids his own age and having a major party going on... not having this drama happening in his house.
She tried to cut her wrists. I used to feel sorry for the woman but now I just feel she is a selfish bitch... she said she needed someone to talk to and would I come up to respite.... but because I am a fool I said Ok... but I was not emotional on the phone I was really short with her.
All the way in the car I kept saying to myself.. ok she is in this place because of depression but I can't let her get away with this and I have to say exactly what I was thinking because I am not helping her or myself if I get in to this crap.
So I got there and said
"Ok so what the hell is going on"
she looked at me and said
"I tried killing myself again and I deserve not to be here'
I said to her "If you truly wanted to kill yourself Kris you would have so really you don't want to and you just want the attention again and to be quite honest I am not putting up with it and I made a promise to myself that I am not putting up with the attention seeking again... this is the last time I will come and see you like this"
She looked at me and said "I did a stupid thing.."
She said "I slept with Daniel"
YOU COULD HAVE KNOCKED ME OVER WITH A FEATHER
I said "Your trainer Daniel?" she said yes..
I said "you better not be lieing again Kris because you caused crap for me and if you are doing this to hurt Daniel then you are low"
She said "NO I am not lieing"
I am not too sure if I believe her because this man is a hunk!!! and well... hmmmm Kris is average.
So we had a talk and I couldn't believe how bossy I was and telling her what I thought and she took it all in and she has made some changes. For one not having Daniel as a trainer... and trying to sort things out with hubby as she told him and said that she would go to counselling and was not going to pull attention seeking things ever again.
I don't know how long that will last but OMG all this crap over going to bed with Daniel!!!
All I could think was DANIEL you are a hypocrate... he gave me hell saying that I was saying nasty things on my blog (when you guys know back then I didn't because I was only saying he wasn't the trainer for me and that was it) and that it was going to ruin his reputation if it got out but he goes and sleeps with a woman that is 12 years older than him and she has a hubby and 3 kids... and he has a georgeous girlfriend... now you tell me how is that not being a hypercrate.
So my lovely morning turned to crap really... I should have stayed with ChrisH till going to bed he he he then I wouldn't have had all this.
She even had Joy (my trainer) over there and telling her. Which by the way has Daniel as part of her team of trainers OMG...
I still can't believe it.. I mean EWWWWW.
ChrisH I know I know I know I know... I know what you are going to say... I shouldn't have gone!!! she isn't worth it and you told me so... I know I know but when a friend gets put in respite or hospital and calls me... I just can't say no... it isn't in my nature. I am glad that I wasn't a wuss and let her make me feel sorry for her though because I didn't do that.
Went to the gym this morning and worked my little butt off and did treadmill, cross trainer, bike, weights, kickboxing with pads and hubby and then sit ups and when I got up after the sit ups my back hurt me like buggery. I think while doing the kicking to the pads it was too high and I hurt my back grrrr so when I got home I had to lay down with a wheat pack.
Until that is I got a phone call about a wedding invite I am doing so I got ready for that and it was great we sorted out some things and I think she is really pleased with the one I thought would be great for her.
After that Delwyn (from my old Lean group) came over and we had such a heart to heart talk and I was feeling that the girls wouldn't want me back in my old lean after Kris was there telling them things (when she first got there) but she said that people are always asking how I am going and that it was in my head what I thought they thought and that they know not to believe Kris.
I am thinking about going back. I am still not 100% yet but I do miss it and I think I have improved since having the 4 months break. I might consider going back after Easter.
I spent the rest of the afternoon knitting scarfs he he he so that I could sit still because my back was just killing me. But quite please with the scarf that I am almost finished and can't wait to start another one.. he he he I sound like an old lady knitting but it is working for me in the fact that I don't want to nibble while doing it so hey if it works.
So that was my week... highs and lows.
I am sick of saying this but I am going to work my butt off this week and make next week a week to remember with my weight loss. I don't want to stop!! I want to keep going and I want to get under the 100 kilos by the end of the year and I know I can do it, I just have to focus.
Was thinking about getting a challenge group together or something... something small so that it doesn't get out of hand but some sort of challenge WHAT DO YOU THINK? Any ideas would be fantastic as I just don't have a clue what it could be at the moment.
Anyway Love ya all
Sorry I did ramble on again didn't I!! he he he
OH Welcome my new blogger friends. ChrisH after putting my photo etc up on your blog I have had lots of people going to my old blog and emailing me from there. I appreciate it!! I need to get back to reading other peoples blogs and having comments from others here too... I need that motivation again and maybe this is the way to get me going huh.
Also... Lynise and Lee-Anne... I have got your emails but haven't had a chance to reply and I WILL I PROMISE... maybe tonight. I am so so so so sorry for the delay. I am not ignoring you ok!! just haven't had time to reply properly.
Love ya all
Chris H wrote:
Mar 26, 2007 at 3:44 PM
SILENCE....... I am saying nothing about anything I could put my foot in my mouth over......I commend you for being there for your ???friend??? You yabbered on so much I don't know what to comment on ! Have a fantastic week, talk to you again soon I hope.
Mar 26, 2007 at 5:49 PM
Well it has certainly been an interesting week hasn't it? I know we all keep telling you to keep away from Kris but I understand why you went, you would have felt worse if you hadn't. I do not know if she DID sleep with Daniel, I am sure she WANTED to & probably fantasised about it. Maybe he just could not resist the attention either. You know it is difficult to know if that woman is telling the truth - maybe you could ask him :-)
I hope you have a better week this week, without the dramas.
Celtic Girl wrote:
Mar 27, 2007 at 12:48 AM
I saw your photo on Chris's blog and you look great.
Now Kris, hahumm, has this woman got some form of Munchausen's Syndrome?
I know I don't "know" her and THE trainer, but really, do you really think he would have slept with her???? Is this another attempt to cause some trouble and try to shift some of the blame from her to Daniel.Is she trying worm her way into your sympathy.as you said correctly, if she wanted to do it ,she would have done it by now.Sorry if this sound callous but this woman is sick on so many levels.
Mar 27, 2007 at 10:51 AM
Kris really sounds as if she has huge problems. You are right though - a lot of what she is doing is for attention. Do feel for her husband and kids.
Sorry to hear about your gain - hope you can get your head around it and start afresh - ín fact I know you can!
Mar 27, 2007 at 9:12 PM
Shit I could talk my head off on this post. I went through the suicide thing with my youngest son. Don't talk about it much. Too painful. In the end it all boiled down to getting attention and to him getting his own way. Through devious methods I got him to the doctor, who sent him for counselling. He's fine now. All I will say is that maybe now Kris will get the help she needs, which means .... it's no longer your problem. It's a selfish thing that she did. With time I hope she realises it. She is a very unhappy women and she needs help to sort herself out.
As for you, I hope you kicked butt and got back some of that gain you had last week. You're a survivor Mandy, you will always come out on top. Why, because you are happy and have a wonderful husband and family there to support you.
I noticed that the balloons over Hamilton is coming up. Might bring the kids over for the weekend and we can catch up. Whadda reckon.
Love ya heaps girl. Keeping smiling that beautiful smile.
Monday, 19 March 2007
OMG having major problems with it at the moment and it is driving me insane. It is faster to read blogs etc at work GEESH.
Today was an ok day... worked and nothing much else.
I did get a compliment today from a lady at school (who incidentally is a friend of Kris.. the one that Kris has been leaning on). Well anyway this lady said that she has been meaning to tell me for weeks... she said "you look fantastic! I bet you are feeling great!" OMG that was so nice of her I couldn't get over it.
She said that she had been over at Kris's all day and she is still depressed. I said "the woman needs a job and have said that all along" and she said the same thing to Kris today... so at least this other friend of Kris's isn't falling for it and telling her exactly what I have been saying.
Enough on that subject.. I was just soooo happy to get a compliment from someone I have only said hi to and not really had anything to do with it was nice.
Work was good. Got my new printer today and that was fantastic.
Had a long talk to my boss in Auckland and asked how flexible she was with the hours and she said she understands how hard it is with kids and with in reason we can negotiate my times so that is soooo good. So I am going to swap my Monday and Tuesday times so I can take Quinn to soccer so I am rapt with that.
There was a big email that came around to all of us today saying that the Directors of the creches didn't know but there will be a couple of changes and then she said "Don't panic" OMG who wouldn't panic when you put that word in there. I said to her I am panicking... she said that it just means the order that I do my work in will change and nothing much else so I am happy with that.. woohoooo. I thought the 1st of April would come and they would say well thanks but we don't need you anymore.. but after thinking on that.. they wouldn't give me a new printer (BRAND NEW HE HE) if they were going to get rid of me would they aye... woohooo.
Been so so so so good with my food today.
I have only eaten 19 points out of my 24 and feeling really full because I had lots of fruit and I had a chicken salad for lunch and I had a salady dinner with roast beef and lots of tomatoes and coleslaw and lettuce and beetroot... it was sooo healthy.
I have a feeling that tomorrow I will gain because to tell you the truth I have been slack.. I haven't felt like there was any motivation in me and people aren't talking about weight loss too much on the blogs so I wasn't getting much motivation to keep me going.
I have only got 21 kilos (that is if I haven't gained tomorrow) but anyway... 21.4 until I get under that 100 kilo mark... and I want that to happen this year everyone.. I really do!! The food is my problem! Exercise isn't the problem what so ever.
OHHHH I forgot to mention there is a huge ho ha going on at the gym now too. The guy that owns the gym doesn't want a lot of different trainers working there under different business names and so in all his glory has decided that there will only be one business and it won't be Joy's or Daniels or the other two trainers there but a couple that are there... so if Joy and the rest of them want to stay then they have to work under this other couples business.. WHAT AN ARSE the owner is... so Joy is finding another place to rent so she can start her personal training business. She can't poach us at all and has told that to us in no certain terms. But if we are to move in our own accord she can't do anything about that either. I can't wait till it is official and then I am going to give the owner a piece of my mind!!! because some good trainers are going and that isn't fair.
I don't want to give up Joy... I know there has been trouble in the last 4 months but I really feel like I achieve a lot in our personal training so we are going to see what happens and if she starts a gym with these other people then Jeremy and I are thinking of moving to it because finding someone that you connect with on the personal trainer front is really hard. So the Lean that was supposed to start tomorrow night has been put off for a couple of weeks until things settle down and she knows what is happening and she said if all else fails then she will be doing it from her garage.. and that is fine with me.
OHHHH am I feeling talkative tonight.
When Jeremy got home the kids, Jeremy and I went for a long bike ride and I chose a route that had lots of hills and then we went and played soccer in the field and then rode back... it was great because Corbin and I were trying to get the ball off each other and my heart rate was going up and Quinn was soooo enjoying kicking the ball and learning how to stop it. I enjoyed it so much and the boys asked if we could do it again tomorrow so obviously they enjoyed it too. Quinn used to hate going for bike rides with us until he got his training wheels off and now we can't keep him off it is great.
Lynise has put me on to a lovely lady that is doing Optifast and has been videoing it and so I got chatting by email to her today and she is lovely. So if you are reading Genelle welcome... I am not too sure if she wants me to put her link but if you do Genelle then please leave a comment and I will link it.
Ok.. so I am off to do some more invites he he he creative stuff again woohoo.
Love ya all
P.S I have been thinking about moving all my stuff back to blogger? but private what do you guys think?
Kate does it cost to be with your blogging??? I need to find somewhere that I can be happy and it is ok here but I cannot seem to work out how to get a template that I like... and it be me... hmmm and there are some features I miss from blogger.
Chris H wrote:
Mar 19, 2007 at 8:43 PM
Phew girl, when you wanna yak you can! Now, as for Mike's hair... it's on Saturday's blog post I reckon...
Mar 19, 2007 at 9:01 PM
Yeah it does cost, but for me it's well worth it. I've tried about 6 different blogging websites and by far it's the best one. I love it! We justified the cost by thinking about how it is my hobby & support - every day! So the cost isn't that much compared with some hobbies. You can do a free trial, and have a play around :-)
Sunday, 18 March 2007
So my weekend has gone so bloody fast it is unbelievable and can't really say it was over the top wonderful but ya know.
Friday night I had Debbie over and we were putting paua shells on a clutch bag of hers... not sure why but she thought it was what needed to be done to match her hair and necklace for her brothers wedding... hmmmmm it wasn't really something I would do but it made her happy. Jeremy and I finally convinced her that wearing paua shell flat jandle sort of shoes just didn't go with the beautiful black flowy skirt (from precious vessels) and a lovely greeny top it just made a lovely wedding outfit look like she was going to the beach.... I think we convinced her of that so hey that was soooo good...
Satuday got up early as we had to be at the school hall to see what teams the boys are in for soccer. OMG I have to take them to practice each for each team and then they both have a game on a Saturday ARGGHHHH I am a serious soccer mum now he he he. While we were there this guy came up and gave me a hug and I didn't get too much of a chance to see who it was and then realised it was my ex boyfriend.... one of hubby's friends from school. I met him before I met Jeremy. It was nice seeing him again as we parted friends as the relationship shouldn't have happened when it did anyway. He is married with two kids and looking good and his son looks amazingly like him it is scary. It was good to catch up and Jeremy and him were chatting for ages.
Then we went shopping for soccer balls, boots, etc and also for some winter clothes for Corbin as he has gotten too big for the ones from last year. OMG I got the ones last year two sizes bigger too so that they should have lasted two seasons BUT OH NO THEY DON'T. Got my hubbies birthday present too of 3 Cd's and two pairs of jeans that he wanted.
We got home and hubby dyed my hair... which no one that night noticed btw. After dying my hair I went to my eyebrow appointment and OMG what a difference it makes to your eyes when you don't have a bush there he he he he... I felt really great.
The reason for doing my hair was because we were meeting 10 friends in town for dinner for Jeremy's birthday. I got showered and dressed and came downstairs where Jeremy's bro and girlfriend were and J's bro said "Wow you look fantastic" wow that took me back because he never usually says anything and to tell the truth I felt pretty fantastic too. I wore my black jeans, high heeled short boots (like yours Rachel he he he) and a black and white top that was quite frilly but very feminine and it had sort of a plunging neckline but not too bad that if I bent over anything would be seen... I am a little bit too reserved for that he he he.
We went and picked up Debbie and then met everyone at a Thai restaurant. Now non of the people there had met any of the other people so it was an interesting night but it was really talkative and we laughed a lot. Debbie and Tania met for the first time and I could tell that Tania didn't like Debbie too much and Debbie was being a little abnoxious too... which was strange. I don't know if it was because she was nervous or not but her and Tania clashed. By the end of the night I was about to strangle Debbie as she was contradicting everything I said and everytime I tried to ask someone a question she would answer for them. I think I will put it down to being nervous around people she didn't know.
Tania and Annabelle got on like a house on fire and I was so glad as Annabelle (soon to be sister in law I reckon) is such a nice person and to be honest Tania is my best friend and I know that she always says what she thinks it is a great friendship with no bullshit ya know.
The restaurant sucked....We got there at 7pm and it took 2 hours for us to get our entree's and then we got it at different times so the idea of sharing the entree's and mains didn't happen or half the food would have been cold. The spelling etc in the menu was sooooo bad... like one of them said "Beef with toasted" yeah beef with toasted what... which we found out beef on toast he he he and there were a lot more things he he he. I asked for a lemondade and the lady said that they were out of Lemonade... OMG what restaurant at 7pm on a busy Saturday night doesn't have Lemonade... The mains.... we got the rice 10 minutes before the mains and so the rice was cold. It didn't stop there though but I am not getting in to it. Even though all the food was sooooooo long to get to our table it was great to be able to chat with everyone and that was great.
After dinner was done we went down to a new pub in the next block that was a Russian pub and so we all had Vodka (we pronounced WODKA he he he) and clinked our glasses and drank up hmmmm warm is the word I leave to describe... then we went and played two games of pool... it was good. I went on the boys team or it wouldn't have been even and we won the first game and the girls won the second.
We then went to another pub that was full on Irish music and drinks etc and Debbie was making a play for the bar man that I got a little annoyed (in a funny way) and I ended up saying something to him (can't really remember) that he came over later on and gave us those glowing bracelets and we had fun teasing him and Debbie... so she got her thrills for the night it was nice seeing her happy. He wasn't bad but my brother in law said that he knows his brother and apparently the guy loves the teasing etc... so ya never know aye.
On the way back to the car park we got in the elevator and I was looking straight ahead and Debbie and Annabelle were laughing and I was thinking "what the hell are you laughing at" and then I looked next to Annabelle and there was Jeremy next to her....... and I was holding my brother in laws hand he he he he I thought it was Jeremy next to me and I was grabbing for his hand thinking OMG your hand is sooo cold tonight and it is usually really warm... OMG what a fright I got from that knowing that I was the one grabbing for the brother in law he he he.
Got up this morning and was over joyed when we realised we had an extra hour woohooooo.
Annabelle and Chris stayed the night so they didn't have to drive their long drive to their house and so we all sat in the lounge (on this miserable day weather wise) and watched James Bond... it was nice.
I went with Debbie around lunch time as she was begging me to go shoe shopping as she didn't know what to get for the wedding which turned out to be a waste of time because she doesn't like closed in toe shoes and she doesn't like heels and she doesn't like this or that OMG it was horrible and I even hate shoe shopping for myself...
I gave up in the end because she should just go in sneakers to the wedding and that way she wouldn't complain. I think she must have her TOM at the moment because she was even walking ahead of me and not even walking with me in the shopping mall. I think after the second shop I had had enough!!! she should have gone shopping by herself if she wasn't going to walk with me. It was making me angrier and angrier. I said to Jeremy when I got home that I would have rather have stayed with them and had fun then going shopping with someone that didn't want to associate with me while shopping. GRRRRRRR
When I got home we had a couple of good friends and kids turn up and it was a great afternoon as our kids put on a dancing show for us in the lounge and they were pretending to do break dancing.... OHHHH How cute that was. When they left Corbin, Quinn and I went for a bike ride... it was great I was sweating by the time I got back as we go a lot faster now that Quinn lost his training wheels.
I even got some more invites done for my sample book and I am sooo happy with them.
So that was my weekend and it went way way to fast...
Hope all your weekends went well.
Chris H wrote:
Mar 19, 2007 at 10:47 AM
Far out you had a busy weekend. Shame the restaurant was suckful! I hate it when you go out and it's a let-down like that ... that's probably why we always end up going to the same places, cos we know the service and food will be good.
Mar 19, 2007 at 4:12 PM
Sounds like a good weekend - what was with Debbie - I wonder if she is a bit jealous of your friendship with Tania???? The bit where you say she was contradicting you & answering the questions etc, sounds like she was "marking her territory". As for the shopping - that is just rude!!! Be careful, I would hate to see you get hurt. Have a good week anyway :-)
Mar 19, 2007 at 4:19 PM
Don't fear Tracy... I won't get hurt again and Debbie can be a nice person 'really she can!' but lately she has been really strange and I don't think she is anything like Kris.
I just wonder if she is unhappy that I have friends and we are not just like best exclusive friends some times. I don't want to have just one friend... I want lots of friends and it may have been a jealousy thing? Not sure. I did get soooo mad at the fact she didn't want to walk with me in the shopping mall though grrr...
There are a lot of good qualities about Debbie and I suppose when reading my blog I do bitch about her and I should say some nice things too as she is caring in other aspects. I don't really want to just bitch about her but I if I talk about it on my blog then I can get it off my chest and go about life as normal ya know?.
Mar 19, 2007 at 5:33 PM
Isn't great to get compliments!
Friday, 16 March 2007
Mar 16, 2007 at 12:31 PM
Viewable by you (hidden)
From: Mandy [mailto:email@example.com]
Sent: Thursday, 15 March 2007 22:43
To: Karen Mullin; 'Kylie Burne'
Subject: From Mandy
Just thought I would say (in case I missed saying on Tuesday) Kylie have fun in Aus and don’t think of us... he he he well do think of us and how you are having fun in the sun and we are out here working ho hum he he he he but you enjoy.
Missed weigh in on Tuesday and I have no excuse... I was going to say I did but really I didn’t... finding it hard at the moment! I am yo-yoing and I have 1.4 to get to 35 kilos and feels like it is taking so long to get there and I am tracking... but I can’t say every choice I am making is a good one either but the motivation has gone with all that is happening in my life at the moment.
Anyway... missing our chats at weigh in’s lately but hey the place is sooo busy.
From: Karen Mullin [mailto:Karen.Mullin@acc.co.nz]
Sent: Friday, 16 March 2007 08:37 a.m.
Subject: RE: From Mandy
it is all part of the journey unfortunately, but that is why getting to goal is so special. Just keep doing the best you can and I would love to see you next week as we missed you. You never know coming along might just inspire you to lose that 1.5!.
I was hoping you would be there is this week as a lady I work with started and she had about the same to lose as you did - I was hoping to get you to have a bit of a chat to her as she is very nervous about the whole thing.
From: Mandy [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Friday, 16 March 2007 10:19
To: Karen Mullin
Subject: RE: From Mandy
Do you mean the lady is coming this Tuesday or came last Tuesday?
I don’t want to give up Karen... I am just doing stupid things in my head with Debbie and I don’t want to... and I stopped telling her my weight and tried to do it that way so the friendship wouldn’t suffer, but she went strange on me and is strange at work with me too.
I didn’t want that.... I want this journey to be for me and not for anyone else but my head isn’t getting around it. When Debbie would gain she would get all moody and she told me it was me not telling her my weight that was hindering her....and I can’t help her!!
I can’t help her because I am finding it hard myself let alone taking all her worries ya know. I hate feeling like I am being selfish as I want to help but I am going back to the same Mandy where I want to help everyone else but I am not helping myself.
Maybe your friend coming will give me a new lease.... to show someone that hey you can do it and it will give me the motivation to see her and think... I cannot go back to the old me.
Just finding it hard ya know. Weight loss is a hard thing... it isn’t just about food ya know.. it is all the head stuff too and I don’t do well with that.
I finally got my business cards too so I will have to give ya a couple.Thanks Karen
From: Karen Mullin [mailto:Karen.Mullin@acc.co.nz]
Sent: Friday, 16 March 2007 10:43 a.m.
Subject: RE: From Mandy
funny you should mention that as we had a big conversation with Debbie on Tuesday ( please do not tell her that). She told us that you had had a conversation with her about not telling her your weight as it was not helping you and since then you had been doing really well - she was so pleased for you. She said that she appreciated that you needed to do that for you (we acted surprised like we did not know that you had talked to her).
She was a bit upset as hadnt realised that she was competing with you and that was never her intention to make it hard for you. She said since then she has really been struggling and has realised that competition must motivate her. I said to her that it is really good when someone can be honest with you and now she needed to find her motivation from somewhere or someone else so I gave her some suggestions.
She is just very stressed about everything that is happening at work, the problems she has had with her study and that she set herself that 20kg goal by her brothers wedding and now she is not going to make it so she was feeling like she has failed (and her mother will ask her if she made it or not).
We set a few small goals and she is really looking forward to some exercise thing that you are doing - so that is great. We ended up not leaving WW until after 8pm as we were talking with her - all of this is strictly confidental as you know but I just dont want you to think it is about you.
Yes the lady from my work came last Tuesday (13th March).
From: Mandy [mailto:email@example.com]
Sent: Friday, 16 March 2007 12:23
To: Karen Mullin
Subject: RE: From Mandy
Debbie mentioned she had a talk with you guys and was there for a while.
Not sure why she is stressed about work her job is secure and no teachers will lose their jobs... unlike mine.
Her mother is paying for the weight watchers that is why she is worried. I know she is upset about not losing the 20 kilos when she said she would but I did say to her to be careful because she might not continue losing 1.5 to 2 kilos a week but then again she might but sometimes you can’t keep up that sort of loss every week. She said she would be under the 100 kilo mark but March... I didn’t have the heart then to say don’t over do it and come up with failure.
I know I am sounding selfish... just that she is starting to be just like Kris and I had to distance myself so that I didn’t end up wanting to get out of this friendship... I still want to be friends with her and I don’t want the weight thing to be an issue. I got upset with her a couple of weeks ago when in front of one of the other Weight Watcher girls she mentioned that it was my fault that she wasn’t losing weight as since I didn’t tell her anymore she was going down hill.
I said to her that it isn’t my fault that she is not losing weight just because I want to keep my weight to myself. The other lady there (who we don’t always speak to) overheard and agreed with me and said to her that it is her journey and just because I wanted to keep things to myself doesn’t mean that she can’t still lose weight. She made a big deal of it. I used to like coming to Weight Watchers but now I quite honestly don’t if I am going to be harassed every week.
At work she was making me feel like I wasn’t doing well and telling people that I was wearing a pair of her pants that are wayyyy to big for her now... and it hurt Karen. I never did that when she first started and I gave her a pink top that was too big on me. I didn’t mention to anyone that it used to mine and she made me feel so small when she did that. It really hurt and it made me feel like crap.
I have worked damn hard to get to 33 kilos lost and it was like she was belittling me. Even one of the ladies at work couldn’t believe her saying in front of them all. So I threw all the clothes she gave me away... I don’t want to have that Karen and it has made me so unhappy since. I would never do that to her or anyone so why would she do that to make herself feel good. I did say to her when it happened that I wasn’t happy. Sorry... I shouldn't be doing this.
Thursday, 15 March 2007
Ok so I was getting over the Kris thing I WAS YA KNOW!!!!
Then today she came up to me in my car while waiting for the kids and she looked like death warmed up and she said "I have a permanent babysitter now" I said "what are you talking about" she said that she had a nervous breakdown and since Tuesday has been in hospital in the care unit because of her breakdown. She doesn't know why it happened or what happened but she drove to a friends place and then the next thing she knew she was going to hospital... SHIT.
Said that the babysitter is there to make sure she doesn't try to commit suicide... and while she was talking to me her hubby was in the car and he has taken a week off because he is worried about her.
Now my heart sank as I felt sorry for her but after talking to hubby and another friend... they said the same thing (both of them at different times) that she is telling me because she wants attention.
She also said she went and saw Daniel (her trainer) to apologise for all the crap she has done... and told him about the situation and realised that she was getting to attached to him in her head. I said to her "I could have told you that a year ago... infact I told you that a year ago" The poor trainer is only like 23 or 24 and that is a lot to take in when you are training someone.
She asked if I could have a coffee with her next week and I said yes. After that I just felt stink all day. I don't want to get involved with this woman anymore but I also don't want it on my conscience if anything happened that I wasn't wanting to listen. Why do I get caught up in this... am I a person that feels I can sort peoples problems out? Or am a nosy person? Or what? I am not sure.
My friend Tania said (in no certain terms as she doesn't hold anything back and is sooo straight forward sometimes I want to slap her he he he) that she is weedling her way back in to my life and I am a soft hearted stupid woman if I get involved again.. it is attention seeking and really if a normal person was admitted to hospital for depression or something like that then they would want to be at home wallowing in their problem and not tell anyone yet she came and told you... GET REAL she is just wanting the attention again and you cannot do it.. I kept saying to Tania yes I know I know but I can't leave a person that wants someone to talk to like that... and Tania said Well she has got you hooked again and it isn't like you haven't got your own things to worry about.
OMG am a bitch!! OMG is going to a coffee the wrong thing? I just want to text Kris and tell her that I am there to talk to if she needs me but I am scared on the other hand too because I don't know mentally that I can handle it.
I know this blog has been filled with things about Kris lately but I suppose this is my life and things that are worrying me I want to get off my system and having someone to listen to me is what I need. Or am I doing the same as Kris?
Went to morning tea with old work mates today and gave them some of my business cards and they were impressed and said that they would pass it on that I am doing this and see if they can send business my way. I got a lot of good compliments on my invites too. One of them even said that I should put them in a scrapbook instead of a folder and it would look more arty and better presentation and I agree... didn't really think of it like that before.
Eating has been ok this week. Not been concentrating too much on it just going with the flow. I haven't gained on our scales so that is ok.
Went out for dinner last night with hubby but decided to go to The Londoner and had a nice pub sort of dinner. It was nice and relaxing and we had fish and chips and salad and I totally enjoyed it. We talked and relaxed and watched the people around us and it felt good to get out with each other. I said to Jeremy that it felt different going out for dinner tonight.... a year ago I would have been self conscious and wondering what everyone was thinking of me and if my pants looked ok or if I was dressed up or down for the place but I wore a orange hessian shirt (that I get lots of compliments on and my three quarter black jeans and felt really good and relaxed. What a difference in my attitude with going out and Jeremy noticed it too.
I am in the study at the moment and Quinn is on the floor making cards (like I do he he he) I gave him a little basket to put his finished cards in like I do with mine and he is enjoying that. I think he is going to be a very arty little boy... not conventional with his art as he doesn't draw specific things just blobs and stuff and sometimes bees or birds etc but still it is good.
Just checked the mail and FINALLY I got a letter about my Smear which was 4 weeks ago and came back normal. What a relief.. OMG it took them long enough though. Hubby said that if there was anything wrong they would have come back really soon with it so I suppose that was a good sign.
I feel better getting that letter that is for sure.
On that note I am going now.
Chris H wrote:
Mar 15, 2007 at 8:19 PM
I am going to keep this short and simple... attention seeking, don't be sucked in again unless you want to be her support person forever, don't go there. She makes you miserable, want to be miserable some more???
Mar 15, 2007 at 9:22 PM
You are right Chris H
I don't want to be miserable anymore!! Won't go there!
Celtic Girl wrote:
Mar 16, 2007 at 12:50 AM
I agree with Tania, most people would not want anybody knowing they have had a breakdown, so I feel she'e out for the sympathy vote.
Mar 16, 2007 at 11:56 AM
yippeeee, on the clear smear result. That must be a weight off your mind. (I'm still procrastinating about booking one which is really silly of me)
In regards to Kris, I'm with Chris and Celtic Girl, I don't think coming up and telling you she has had a nervous breakdown is normal at all. I imagine most people would be feeling quite sensitive about having people know, therefore the fact she is advertising it to you SCREAMS of seeking attention. Your heart is in the right place (wanting to lean an ear) but as Chris has said, she just makes you miserable, and her past actions have shown that she really can't be trusted. Remember, she CHOSE to do something that would make YOU look bad. No true friend would do that. I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her, I am convinced that she hasn't changed at all, and would turn on you in a heart beat if something ticked her off and she wanted to get back at you.
In my opinion she isn't really a true friend Mandy, she is needy, and manipulative, and cunning, and deceitful (all things she has shown herself to be through her own actions)
I hope you don't get hurt again.
Mar 16, 2007 at 1:27 PM
Yes I have come to the conclusion that you are all right... I knew deep down but didn't want to feel like I was giving up on someone that needed my help or my ear.
I am feeling better about it today. I am also feeling better about the weight loss side of things today.
Mar 16, 2007 at 1:32 PM
Mandy I can hear the alarms bells ringing from here. I know what you are saying about not wanting to feel guilty that you weren't there for her to talk to, BUT as your friend said, who the hell goes out telling everyone that they had a breakdown, and so soon after the fact! She is trying to wheedle her way back into your life, and you will end up going through the same heartbreak as you did before, but even worse this time. You are finding it hard enough now to trust new friends (eg Debbie), but imagine how hard it will be if she messes with you again. Tell her to buggar off and to go talk to a counsellor - okay, so you could be more polite about it than that, but it makes me angry that she might be given the opportunity to hurt you again. You are too special and you don't deserve to have to put up with her shit again.
BE STRONG MY FRIEND!!!
Mar 16, 2007 at 1:34 PM
Okay just read your responses to your comments. Good decision Mandy, she's just not worth your time or the hurt xox
Mar 16, 2007 at 2:22 PM
I know it is hard to say no, especially when someone seems so needy & desperate but in this case, you need to keep away from the woman as much as you can. Tell her you are sorry that she has been ill but at this stage you feel that it would not be a good idea to resume contact. She only wants attention & you have too much good stuff going on now to get caught up in that crap again.
Sorry I have not been commenting much lately, flat out with work etc but have been reading regularly.
Have a great weekend.
Mar 18, 2007 at 8:13 PM
It is so hard to break away as you want to help, but this chick has done nothing but bring you down...don't punish yourself by going back there!!
You have kicked on and you are doing great in all areas of your life...don't start to go backwards!!
Have a great week
Viewable by you (hidden)
I have been watching you tube and a girl from Hamilton is doing Optifast.
She has done fantastically but I just don't know... I don't know because I want to be able to lose what she has lost but I am not willing to just drink shakes..
I feel like a fake at the moment. I don't want to be friends with Kris and have all her crap layed on me again but I also like knowing what is happening... does that make me bad? I feel it does because when I am writing on here that is all I talk about. I have lost comments on here because I think I am talking too much about her on here and not enough about weight loss but isn't writing on here supposed to be helping me?
I think that is why I have to be doing some of this in private so that I can still get it off my chest and when I read back on it I will see what I was really thinking and not just what I was saying to others and missing bits out so it didn't make me sound like a complete and utter bitch.
I worry about everyone else and not about what I am doing. I do fine when I am bitching that someone else is losing more than me and I want to get back at them but then when I am on good terms with someone I am not losing the weight and that is because I don't like the competition. I was losing weight for a while there because Debbie didn't know what my weight was and I was happy about that because she was losing more than me and I hated that. I don't hate Debbie but I do hate that she was weighing less than me and I was on this diet a LOT longer than her. I hate that she is taking over in the meetings and people are talking to her. I want it to be that I am the centre of attention and it bothers me that she is the centre of attention.
That sound selfish and I can feel it when I read it... it is selfish because I should be happy for her. I am not when she loses... I want her to gain and I get this thrill when she gains and it isn't because I want her to be unhappy it is just that I don't want her to be smaller than me.
She is smaller than me!! and I have to get used to it!
I want to lose more!! I want to get to my 35 kilos!! 1.4 shouldn't be that hard. I am gaining 500 grams and then losing 500 grams and going like a yoyo and by now I should have lost it.
I have to make a plan and to be honest I don't think doing more exercise is the problem but I have to keep up the exercise and I haven't wanted to.
So I have to make small goals:
14 March 2007 to 21 March 2007
- I will drink my water EVERY day
- I will exercise, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday
- I will not eat any chocolate
- I will have only 1 V from now until Monday.(I have to slowly get rid of the V's)
So I do think that is enough for now.
I do think I can stick with this. I have to get the mentality back again and really think about what I am putting in my mouth because what I am putting in my mouth isn't good for me and I know it but I am being lazy and doing the can't be bothered attitude.
I can do this invite business and lose weight... Why can't I??? There is no reason.
I have to work out a way to get more people commenting on here because it keeps me on track. When I get comments then I am trying more and the more I try the more I am going to lose this weight.
I have 22 kilos to get under 100 and I want this... I can do that in a year. That is only 500 grams a week... and if I lose a little more in a week then that is a bonus.
Mandy you can do this.
Wednesday, 14 March 2007
OHHHH my business cards are sooo pretty.... I can't stop looking at them he he he
I put some up on the reception at work and I have given some to hubby to take to his work and I handed some to a lady at work as her daughter has a 21st coming up.
Lee-Anne... can't wait to design those invites hun. Need to know some things but wohoo it is going to be cool.
I am a thinker... and sometimes I think toooooo much I know. I think at this time of year I really want to know what is happening in my life so that I can get on with it. I am happy with my invite business at the moment. I just have to get out there and get it started. I am still in the process of doing samples and doing up price lists.. because I need to know I make some money out of it and not that I am just covering the paper used for the invites ya know.
I am not happy with work at the moment. I don't mind the work I do and I don't mind the times it suits me down to a T but I don't like all the lies and all the crap that goes on as I take it all on board ya know.
Well I got my new printer DID I TELL YOU ALL? he he he but not sure if I am altogether happy with it now that I have played with it. There is no manual feed and I tried to print on vellum last night and it smuged up but it didn't do that with my old printer grrrr but I am sure I can work a way of dealing with that hmmmm will just have to see.
I am not too sure how to set up the accounts for keeping track of all this either. I have been doing it in excel but not sure if that is going to be good enough either. It is all about learning a new program and with all the other stuff I have to do to get this up and running it is just too much he he he but I will have to do it aye.
Going out to dinner tonight to a Japanese restaurant as it is hubby's birthday today and he is the big 35 OUCH but he is such a darling ya know!!! So we are going on a date. It will be so nice to do that.
Anyway I better get some work done.
I will update later as to what happened in my day.
I did have some of the Directors of the creches I work for say today when I said I am looking for another job... they said that they don't want that to happen so that was nice. One of them said she would give up her office so I could come and work there doing the same job but it is like 40 minutes out of town he he he and too far for me to take the kids etc to school.
Chris H wrote:
Mar 14, 2007 at 8:03 PM
It's all sounding so exciting, the invitation business that is. A Japanese restuarant... oooo should be able to make some healthy choices there! Do tell what ya had....
Mar 15, 2007 at 12:34 PM
In regards to the magnetic signs for vehicles, I have been using them for about 4 years and have never had them blow off when driving. We travel up to Auckland every second day at the moment taking berries to our exporter and zip along between 100km - 110 without any problem.
I use Microsoft home & office to do our accounts on and find it was really easy to use and works well for what I need. I didn't like MYOB either, I didn't find it very user friendly and I also couldn't export data from the employer file to assist me when working out PAYE which was a major pain as it meant I was entering the same date twice. (unless I was doing something wrong, but it didn't work well for what I needed).
Hope you had a lovely evening out with your husband, and a HUGE happy birthday to him.
Tuesday, 13 March 2007
Went to the gym on Sunday morning with hubby and did a really good work out that on Monday my arms were hurting he he he
We went grocery shopping and Jeremy's mum looked after the boys as my mum wasn't feeling well.
When the groceries were finished we went outside and took Quinn's training wheels off his bike as he isn't using it and then refused to use the bike so after some persuading we got him on and then he was full on on the bike and loving it and smiling because he can go faster now and it didn't take too long for him to learn how to ride without them.
We went for a family bike ride and I was finding it hard to keep up with him as he was going fast as he he he my little monkey. He said to me "I am sooo good mum aren't I... how clever is that" I had to laugh it was so funny to hear that. He is a cleaver little monkey that is for sure.
What is up with me and my food lately. I have lost the umph and not sure how to get myself on track. I am craving chocolate and just eating it! I don't want to and I don't want to gain but I don't seem to care at the moment...
It is Jeremy's birthday tomorrow... and my mum has given him some money for us to go out to dinner just the two of us and then on Saturday we are going out with all our friends so that should be good. I did invites and all and sent them and felt quite proud.
I am working hard on my invites and looking for so many different ideas so if you guys find an invite (ANY INVITE) that is different and I can rearrange for me to use then please send it to me or take a photo for me. I would really appreciate it.
I get my business cards this afternoon woohoooo and then I have to get my website sorted! Also have to some research in to prices for car sign writing (probably the magnetic ones but a friend said that if you go over a certain speed they can peel off so that put me off a little).
My friend Tania (that owns the flower shop) is just amazing she is such an inspriation and her business is growing like you wouldn't believe. She found out that she has gotten accepted to be a teleflora florist (which is really hard to get) and she is just growing this business at a fast rate. She has also been telling people about Papaya Invites and also when she gets a tradesperson that would benefit what I am doing she gets their card and at the trade fair in the weekend she picked up so much information for me so that I can get things wholesale. I just think she is the best friend... she is so busy with her own business yet she is trying to help me as well.
I am going to do some flyers for her this week so she can send put them in people's letterboxes in the weekend. I might just sneek my logo and phone number in there too and not charge for the flyer etc he he he so I get some advertising too.
I have her son's birthday invites to do as well... something to do with fishing so if you have any ideas please do not hesitate to tell me he he
Just a little note to say big hugs to Felicity for losing a close friend this week. My thoughts are with you hun.
Anyway I better get some work done he he he
Mar 13, 2007 at 1:39 PM
Hi Just letting you know I am still reading just not commenting much. Ummm I was considering getting those magnetic things for the car advertising the Tourette site, I don't really want to paint the car......will have to look into it more. BTW how is the printer, what sort did you get......... oh yeah the invitations look great to. Jaxx
Rachel's World wrote:
Mar 13, 2007 at 2:15 PM
Yay I can finally leave a message. I don't know if it is that I am on the new blogger or if it is the work computer but I am having a REALLY hard time leaving anyone messages.............you know I'm always here ay?
Papaya Invites are looking awesome and I can't wait until you get your own website (how exciting).
Andrew's Cadbury car has those magnetic advertising and he can boot it and never have they even looked like coming off, so I think if you get good quality ones you will be fine (much less expensive I have heard).
Mar 13, 2007 at 3:31 PM
Hey Mandy, sorry I have not been online much...
Your invites look great - and its great that your friend is helping out too:)
Happy Birthady to Jeremy!!!
Mar 13, 2007 at 9:33 PM
Ooh yes, I do have at least one invite I can photograph and show you, will get onto it this week, and I was wondering... maybe you could sell some of your gorgeous cards in your friend's flower shop?x
Mar 13, 2007 at 10:03 PM
Hello dear girl, just want you to know you're doing the invites for my wedding. Btw, haven't heard from you if you want to come..... hint, hint.
I think you're doing great. Maybe too much floating around in your head. Sometimes its best if we don't analyzise too much but just concentrate on what's around us NOW.
You have to live your life for you. Enjoy your life - and that's you, hubby, and the kids. (I put them in the right order too)
Love you girl and believe in you.
Saturday, 10 March 2007
Yes I do agree Lynise Good friends are hard to find... it isn't that I don't want Debbie as my friend. I do really... I do... but I am weary now after the trouble with Kris and I also have to be true to myself. It isn't that I don't want to be friends with Debbie but she treats us as best of friends when I only met her August last year and I am friends with her but she doesn't know what I have been through in my life and she doesn't know me like she thinks. I am just saying that after Kris I am weary not that I don't want her as a friend. Does this all make sense?
I think.. I back off when people get to the stage that I have to explain why I don't want to do things and it isn't because I haven't said it to her... she assumes things sometimes and it bugs me.
Like for instance she walks to weight watchers sometimes (which is great I reckon) and last week she said... I don't think I will walk home and I didn't answer and then another lady said well how are you getting home then? and Debbie said nothing and I left it for a moment and Debbie still didn't answer and I said "I suppose I am taking her home" then Debbie said "God you don't have to... I can call (the lady she boards with) to come and get me"... and I said "no I will take you".
Now it isn't that I mind taking her but if she doesn't think she can walk home then she shouldn't walk because it is 10 minutes out of my way and with a V6 car it gets bloody expensive and so that means it is 20 minutes before I get home and I miss saying good night to the boys. I know that sounds bad but sometimes I hate that she assumes that I will do something instead of asking... I would never do that!!! I would never assume that I can get a lift from someone and if I couldn't walk home then a simple please would be good ya know.
She phoned today to see if I wanted to go and get some beads as she was looking for them to decorate a handbag for a wedding.. but I couldn't go and I would have liked to but I was going to a wedding with Jeremy (hubby).
She does phone to see if I want to do things and that is sooo cool and sometimes I so so so want to go but I have already organised my day.
One of Jeremy's work mates was getting married for the second time and we were invited. It was a great afternoon and we enjoyed having drinks with his work mates and one in particular is a new woman that just started and we got on really well. It was a nice afternoon just relaxing and talking.... she has a two year old and talking about all the two year old things was quite funny... it was like listening about my youngest son they seem quite alike.
What beautiful weather and I had a tear in my eye because the brides son (21 year old) walked her down the isle and for the groom his son and daughter were his best men/woman. It was a really nice relaxing wedding.
I maybe ate too much though and shouldn't have but I think I am sabotaging myself in the last week or so... I think I get to the stage of getting to a certain weight lost and then sabotage myself.
I set myself the 5 kilos goals and then I get close and then I go back and forward like a yoyo.. I am not too sure why I do that? I have 1.4 kilos to go and I was there two weeks ago. Two weeks ago I was 121.1 then I gained 500grams and then I stayed the same and then last week lost.
I am not focussed and maybe it is because I am concentrating on my invite business but I don't want to give up that either. I want both the business and my weight loss to go smoothly... I have to work out a way that I can do that.
Thanks for my comments guys I really do read them and sometimes I think I should reply by a comment but it seems silly to reply to myself he he he.
Went to the library today too to get books on how to do the books for my little business. I don't like MYOB!!! it is such a stupid package... does anyone else use another package that might be good. I just want something simple and easy and not all the bells and whistles.
While I was at the wedding a lady asked me what I did and we got on the subject of invitations and she said that I need to give Jeremy some business cards to give to her husband and she will pass them around. She is sort of the age that has kids in their twenties.... so ya never know aye.
I am watching I,Robert at the moment, it is quite a good movie. I didn't want to go and watch it at the movies but I wish I did now it isn't as bad as I thought. I thought it was going to be really really spooky, show ya how wrong I could be.
Did I mention that I got my printer HE HE HE HE LOL
Good night everyone
Mar 11, 2007 at 4:58 PM
I used to have MYOB but have now changed to Quickbooks which I really like.
Mar 12, 2007 at 3:49 PM
Sounds like you have a knack for choosing "clingy" friends. I think it is rude just to expect you to give her a lift home. I think that she needs to just think a bit more, obviously you have a lot in common & enjoy each others company BUT your lives are different, as you say, she is single & can come & go & do as she pleases - you have a family with which goes huge responsibilities & obligations.
On another nore, I am glad you enjoyed the wedding.
Did you mention you had a new printer???? :-)
Friday, 9 March 2007
I am trying to make an effort to write each day about what is happening because I do feel better when I let it all out.
I had an email from a lovely person yesterday that made me think! It was about Kris and she mentioned a couple of things and I have been thinking that in the last couple of weeks since the morning tea I have felt better about the situation and that I am happy with my decision not to get involved with her as a friend anymore. She also mentioned that maybe she thought I was afraid of her and I didn't think so when I read it but after some thought I have to agree I am scared of her. She turned my world upside down in a short period of time and if she had more access to my life and my feelings that she did then it could have been worse. It has changed my whole concept of trust!! I am not sure if I mean concept of trust or hmmmm... I am scared to trust people as much anymore for fear of it turning on me.
I am like that at the moment with Debbie.... and I know it frustrates her and I have explained the situation and another friend has to her as well... that I am taking it slow with friends because of the trust thing blowing up in my face with Kris... and I back off when I am feeling pressured... I quite often feel like Debbie pressures me in to doing something and I try and make an excuse to get out but the excuse has to be right with her and I have to explain why I am not going to do something or what I am doing instead and sometimes I just want to say NO because I don't want to do it. Why do I do it? I just want to say Oi back off you are being pushy but I don't... I just find excuse after excuse and end up backing out of the friendship.
Debbie and I are different... for one thing she is 8 years younger and is single and can do things by herself but I have a family and kids and a huge mortgage and I don't want to be doing half the things she does and to be quite honest I have done it and now I am on a different path in my life but I am not sure she gets that. I do like spending time with her but she isn't number one in my life my family is and I have explained this to her but I do still get the feeling that she thinks I am saying no because I don't like her etc which isn't really the case it is just I prioritise things differently from her because of my family.
I love spending time with my husband and my kids!!! I love just being and watching tv and knowing that I don't have to say anything to hubby and just be and it makes me happy. We are comfortable in each others pressence and I sometimes don't like it when people talk during shows on the tv etc because it just bugs me... and he knows that.
Wow I am rambling on tonight.
In a nutshell I like having Debbie as a friend but I have to find a way to balance it to let her know that it isn't that I don't like her but I don't want to spend every second day with her...
I haven't thought about it before and always thought I was an extrovert and sometimes I am around my friends but most of the time I prefer my own company and I like being in an office by myself... Maybe it is a Virgo thing?
I get my business cards on Tuesday (have I mentioned that before he he he) and I got my printer today WOOHOOOOO I got my printer today do a little dance, do a little dance. It is big and fast and does colour and black and white and when the kids are in bed tonight hubby and I are going to be doing some printing and I cannot wait.
Went to my PT session with Joy today and I did the following
15 minutes on the bike
15 minutes on the treadmill and every second minute running on the treadmill. I am feeling so much better than I did when I first started running and my knee has not been giving me trouble.
1500 metres on the rower
4 sets of 20 situps
4 sets of having a swiss ball between my legs and bringing my legs together so I use my thigh muscles OMG
4 sets 20 of rubber band on my ankles and doing leg raises and after that I felt the burn OMG on each leg
15 minutes on the cross trainer and every second minute she would put it up to level 5 for a minute then back down to level 1 OMG OMG my legs were so so so sore afterwards
But that is ok that she made me work hard because I over ate last night as we went out with our boys to a Mongolian Restaurant and I had to plates ARGHHHHH but it was yummy.
It was interesting talking to Joy today... she asked if I was still blogging and I said No straight out... I said No because I don't want any of them to know I am blogging and I certainly don't want Kris to know I am still blogging.
I said I do comment on peoples blogs because I love keeping in contact... she said "It is better that you don't have a blog and I am so happy that you don't anymore... look at the trouble that happened last time" I said "No it wasn't my blog that was the trouble it was Kris causing trouble that was the trouble and she just looked at me and said "yes I agree with that as well". She said you have improved since not blogging and I thought to myself a load of shit because I am still blogging and I am doing better now... I turned to her and said "I am doing better because I don't have Kris in my life anymore" and she said "yes I can see that too". It annoyed me because my blog is the best thing in my life... it gets things out and it makes me look at things and sort my life out. But that is ok because I now know that I don't tell anyone around me here about it and I need to be careful who I entrust with reading it but it is still for me and anyone that doesn't like what I write doesn't have to read anyway.
It was a good workout anyway but now I have to realise that I cannot talk about blogging and my life because it isn't worth the trouble when it is people at the gym and school... as long as I have my family and blogging then I am happy.
Got my printer today he he he did I mention it he he he
Went for my coffee with the school mums today (as it has been a fortnight woohoooo) it was good talking and the hour went so so so so fast but it was enjoyable. I am glad we started this.. there is 5 of us and we get on like a house on fire. We were talking about one of them's business that they are getting into as husband and wife and she is quitting her job and we talked about neighbours that are causing problems and about things other than kids once again it was marvellous... sat outside in the sunshine and had our coffee and frappes and I felt like the rich he he he not that I am by any means.
Anyway did I mention I got my new printer today he he he
Have a good night everyone
Mar 9, 2007 at 6:54 PM
Hope everything smooths out with Debbie as good friends are such an added bonus in life and although you might not be at exactly the same place in your lives its great to come together with friends who care. One of my best friends is only 24 years old. I met her at my old work and dispite us being polar opposites we get along great and are able to have some great laughs together.
I guess alot of people may wonder what on earth we have in common as she is quite a bit younger then me, is from India, is Muslim, and is quite restricted in where her husband will allow her to go. (yes, you did read that right) but we get along great. I think friendship is about finding someone whose company you enjoy, and who you trust and respect. Each friendship will be unique as no other friendship will ever be the exact same mix. You definitely shouldn't have to make excuses as 'no I really don't feel like it' should be enough. (comes back the other person respecting your decisions.)
Hope your having a great day. Keep smiling.
PS: Just wondering when you are getting your printer, I havn't heard you mention it for a while. :-)
Celtic Girl wrote:
Mar 9, 2007 at 10:51 PM
Wanting to be alone is definately a Virgo thing, I'm the same. Your friend Debbie, really should realise your family is numero uno in you life.Also, congrats on getting your new printer!!
Chris H wrote:
Mar 9, 2007 at 10:51 PM
Yes woman, you did mention you got your new printer.... WOOO HOOO... OK? As for friends, and the boundaries, you have to set them where you are comfortable.... I understand this 110%. I only have a very few close friends, the ones I know I can trust 10% with anything I tell them. And they are the ones that I can say "Piss of now, I want some peace" to and they don't take offense! They are few and far between mate.... Don't let Debbie badger you into anything you don't want, be it spending time with you, confiding in, etc. You have the right to do whatever the hell you like, you are in control of your life. As for Joy, she sounds like a friggin know it all, who will say whatever she thinks you want to hear....strange person. I wouldn't trust her, she sounds suss to me. Shit, I shouldn't be so condemming of someone I have never met ...... nasty me. Have a bloody wonderful weekend girl!
Mar 9, 2007 at 11:08 PM
hey there my friend I just wondered has your printer arrive yet hehehe
u sound so up its great
blow the trainer and blogs I THINK BLOGGING IS GOOD as u said it wasn;t the blog that was the problem.
You said I would be losing because of my exercise girl u run rings around me i wouldn't be able to keep up with u your doing fantastic keep it up kiddo
Thursday, 8 March 2007
What a nong am I
I forgot to tell you that I lost 500 grams on Tuesday night and I am happy with that as it is a good loss for me... and hey it is better that I lose and not gain woohoo... so I am not down to 121.1 and I have 1.4 to get to my 35 kilos and 1.2 to get to the teens... it is taking a while but it is going to come off so that is good.
I think I am in the right headspace for my weight loss this year. I am not focussing too much on it but still be aware of what I should and shouldn't do and it is working. I have been tracking (without missing a day) since the 2nd January 2007 and I think that is working for me. I decided that the only person I was cheating by not writing down my food was me because no one was actually looking at it and if I ate it then it should go down. Funny really because I always thought that I would get in trouble for eating a chocolate etc but if I wanted it why shouldn't I have it as long as it was all in moderation.
Had to work this morning from 7.30 to 8.30 because Auckland decided that they would stuff things up so I had to go in to do my statements to parent geeshhh but hey I got paid for it so that is good.
I am in my office at home at the moment trying to design some more invitations... it is sooo exciting. I have my verticals opened and looking out to the beautiful weather and I have my tv going for a bit of noise... it feels so right. Plus I am writing to you guys and it feels soooooo great. Kids are at school... all I need now is have a deer go past (he he he he) and I will be in disneyland he he he sooo funny.
Anyway I might come and update later
Have a great day everyone
Chris H wrote:
Mar 8, 2007 at 2:05 PM
well that loss is fantastic, slow and steady mate. Disneyland? Yeah Right! But I do know the feeling....
Mar 8, 2007 at 8:21 PM
Well done on your loss :-)
Tuesday, 6 March 2007
Thanks for the comments yesterday...
I am sorry for being such a baby yesterday....
Just had to get it out.. I am missing blogger but I can't go back because I don't want her to know anything about my life and I also don't want to be writing in two blogs ya know. I am happy writing in here just really miss the comments as they keep me going and miss meeting new people, but also don't want Kris to know about my life.
I know that sounds bad but I can't go back to her knowing what is happening in my life... it is safer for her not to know because then she cannot cause me anymore crap because life is better without her involved.
Well... I got my name logo examples yesterday and I think I have chosen which one I want so I think my Invite business is finally starting properly. I have called it Papaya Invites and the colours I have chosen are Bright Orange, Black and white. I love ORANGE..... it is just so vibrant and makes me feel happy.
The next thing I have to do is get the signage done on my car (but that will be after I get some more work to pay for it).
My hubby ordered my printer yesterday and he is getting a good deal as he is a computer consultant and can buy from work for a cheaper price.
So it feel fantastic that things are going well in that department. I have gutted my study to make it ready for doing the invites in my study and even got a T.V set up in there he he he I know lazy huh but down the end of the house it is lonely at night time if I don't have noise.
So don't forget if you know of anyone that wants any type of invite please please please send them my way.
I went looking at shops the other day to see what leases cost and OMG $45,000 a year (around $850 a week) OOOOOHHHH MY GOD talk about making money these people and a couple of them have a 6 year lease too so that is $270,000 in 6 years GEESH cheaper to do it at home or buy a bloody house to do it from.. which is a possibliity. At least that way I would be paying the money to myself.
Thank you Thank you for your comments!
Thank you Chris H for the emails yesterday you certainly perked me up.
I am glad I met you all! I am glad I can call you friends! I am so blessed!
Not wanting to work today... can you tell? I am on here instead of doing my work. I suppose the reason I get bored is because I can do my 3 day a week job in 1 day but don't want to tell them or I could lose my job. I was talking to hubby last night and OK I hate the uniform and the new owners suck big time but what job would let me start at 7.30am and take my kids to school from 8.30 to 9.00 and pay me for it aye... it has it perks and I can be in my office and do other things and I don't have many people coming in bugging me so it is a good thing really. Just that uniforms really make me feel angry.
I hate feeling uncomfortable and I hate the way buttons ride open and I would like to be comfortable and if I am not dealing with parents then why bother having a uniform. If the uniform was comfortable I wouldn't mind.
Went to my kickboxing class last night and I worked my tushy off!!!! The trainer said in front of the whole class... OMG you should all look at Mandy Girl (that is my nickname) she is going for it tonight woohooo... and Debbie just looked at me and what a scowl. She has not been in a very good mood the last couple of weeks... she doesn't even say hello when she comes in to the room anymore.. a couple of the girls at work are considering talking to her and saying PULL you head in and if there is something wrong then stop all the crap and tell us.
I think I have learnt to ignore it and just get on with things because if she is going to be in a mood then if she can't tell us what the problem is then too bad because I am not in high school anymore I am 36 years old... she is 28 and I think has a lot to sort out ya know.
I have my weigh in tonight. My scales said I have lost 500grams... so we shall see. I am happy with that. I mean I would have like to lose the 1.9 to get me to 35 kilos but that is ok... can't all be perfect aye. and 500 grams a week is good enough.
I was a little upset last week as I stayed the same and Debbie has 2.9 to get to 20 kilos which means she has lost it sooooooo much faster than me and she knew I didn't want to know how much we have lost because it bothers me but she did anyway...
She is 113 kilos now... That is like 8 kilos lighter and she started being 5 kilos heavier than me... OOHHHH I so want to be at 99 kilos. It is driving me insane. She deserves the fact that she has lost so much she must do.... but I wish it was me.. ya know. I am not angry that she lost more as she worked hard and it has worked for her... it is just that I want to be that weight.
One of the ladies here said to me that Debbie has a lot to catch up to my weight.. and I said to her that she is lighter than me and they were shocked... we are a totally different shape from each other.. she has it all in her backside and chest and I have it in my tummy and legs... quite weird really.
Anyway this week is another week.....GUESS WHAT... Joy my trainer is starting another Lean for me... OMG I hounded her about it before Kris and I had a falling out about having it at night time instead of 6am in the morning and she said no but now that I am not in the morning session I asked her to start a night time one so it starts on the 20th March wooohoooo on a Tuesday and Thursday night and Tuesday night I can leave a little earlier to get to WW meeting as it is from 5.30 to 6.30 but WW starts at 6.00 but the talk doesn't till 6.30 so I will make it in time for the talk as that is a really important thing to me as well as talking to my wonderful leaders as they make my week...
Anyway going to go to morning tea now he he he
Chris H wrote:
Mar 6, 2007 at 8:06 PM
It's all sounding fantastic, the business, the diet, Lean, etc etc. I'm so glad you are feeling better today.... and don't worry about what other people weigh/lose, you are doing fantastically, and we are all bloody different! Just concentrate on yourself and don't get tied up about "she's lost more than me ... faster than me", you don't know how she's really doing it.. for all you know she could be starving herself... and the weight might come back .... slow and steady girl!
Mar 6, 2007 at 8:10 PM
Thanks for your comment!! You are a sweetie:) Good lady getting rid of the bigger clothes - cos you aren't going to need them anymore.
Your job sounds quite sweet - despite the uniform. Good luck with the invite business - will keep you in mind if we need anything like that. Just a thought do you do business flyers?
Mar 7, 2007 at 11:06 AM
Hi Mandy, I will certainly spread the word if I know of any events coming up that need invites. In regards to those leases, I looked into the same thing a couple of years ago but soon found out that there are cheaper options available if you don't go to a mall (or a main street) A friend of mine had a small shop at five cross roads and her rent was $250 a week (2000 - 2003) so much cheaper then going into a mall or main shopping area, which was about 1/3 the price of larger shopping complexes.
Also, in regards to the sign writing on your car I just thought I would mention that you can also get large magnetic signage made that looks like its painted on, its only when you are standing right next to the vehicle that you realise it can be taken off. We use magnetic signage for our company van, so that we can peel it off and use the vehicle for personal use if we need to. It probably good advertising to leave it on, but sometimes I just feel like being annoymous, rather then driving round with huge blueberries and text all over the vehicle. lol. (just thought I would mention it in case you hadn't heard about it, as we almost got our van painted, then found out about the magnets)
In regards to the weightloss, I agree with Chris, try not to let what others are doing cloud how you think. Its great to have support and share the journey with others who are also battling their weight, but we are all so different. Also our individual motivation changes and your just going to stress yourself out if you let it effect you. I love hearing about other people's losses as I feel it motivates me even more (but thats just me) and for the record, your losing it faster then me as I've been stuck on the same weight since January 12th. (arrrgh) Anyway, take care. Lynise
Celtic Girl wrote:
Mar 7, 2007 at 11:23 PM
Just caught up on your blog.Congartulations on starting your invite business I wish you all the success in the world Mandy. Also great your going to do Lean again.Bummer about the uiniform, I used to sew up the front of mine on the machine so the buttons wouldn't gape.
Celtic Girl wrote:
Mar 7, 2007 at 11:28 PM
Your invites are really beautiful, your a talented lady.