29 Dec Saturday and 30 Dec Sunday 2007

Saturday

Ok so I weighed in today:

..............................................................

Weight last week: 118.9

Weight this week: 119.2 kgs

Loss/Gain: Gain 300 grams

Total loss from WW: 35.5 kgs

Total loss from start: 40.8 kgs

..............................................................

We were supposed to be going to go Rock Climbing today but it didn't happen because we went for a walk around the lake (what a beautiful day it was) and then the boys had a choice of going Rock Climbing after the walk or going on the water bikes and OMG Corbin has been bugging us about the Water bikes for at least a year that we finally got him on them.

They had so much fun. I didn't go because I was taking the photos chicken aren't I.... (I think it was because I was scared they wouldn't have a life jacket that would fit me.... still in the 160kilo mind frame still I think).

I did 9,860 steps today and felt great for it because my normal steps suck at like 5,000 to 7,000 steps a day.

I am tracking again and I am happy that I have only gained 300 grams over this week but that doesn't mean it isn't going to show up more of a gain next week as my body is a weird thing.

So anyway back to the walk around the lake... it was cool because the boys took their digital cameras and were having fun taking photos with me wohooooo... here are some photos for ya.

We had a great BBQ at home that night... what wonderful weather we have had in the last couple of days.

Sunday

So we went to my MIL birthday thingy and we were expecting to out to lunch in town but the Brother in law's fiancee decided in all her glory that we wouldn't go out to lunch but we would go for a picnic which was fine if I didn't have the boys all dressed up. It was a great idea if they could make up their minds... they changed their minds like you wouldn't believe before deciding 15 minutes before we were to go.

Got to the gardens and it was nice weather and really nice where they picked out where to sit and we got MIL to open the presents and she was showing off the clock I made for her to BIL fiancee and she said "Oh" and that was it... fine I thought.

Then the whole time she was raarking up Quinn so he got in trouble because as a 6 year old he doesn't know when to quit and then Corbin got cake all down his new shirt and she laughed and then the subject of kids came up and I said "I can't wait to see what your kids are like because you hype up mine and then take off" OH dear am I getting brazen he he he and then MIL said "the twins don't you mean" then MIL said "when you babysit you can do the same thing to her kids" I wasn't thinking and said "I won't be babysitting" oops... but they have never babysitted for me... and the only time the BIL has taken the boys was when Jeremy and I were away for the weekend for about 2 hours so why the hell would I be babysitting for them??? tell me that.

OHHHH and then MIL went on about not contacting us in the last couple of days because she was scared that I would guess that they were engaged OMG... and said to me "so what do you think" with a grin on my face (screaming inside) I said "Oh yeah good aye!" my MIL was sooo excited. On the way home in the car I said to Jeremy "bloody hell I got so much crap when we got engaged and she wasn't that happy or excited as she was with your brothers engagement.."

I shouldn't be against them... I shouldn't feel like that but I have been with Jeremy for 18 years and in those 18 years the last 3 have been the only years that I haven't felt like she hated me... and all of a sudden this girl comes on the scene and she is the bees knees... it hurts.. it sooo hurts.. you wouldn't believe what my MIL has done to me over the years (yes I know some of you are going to say Get over it and you can't change it and bla bla bla but this blog is somewhere where I have to get the frustrations out)... anyway.... my MIL asked what Jeremy wanted for his birthday one year and I said that he wanted to go and see this stage show and I was going to go and get him and I tickets to go and see it... she said.. can I get them... I said yes well..... the bitch went and got a ticket for Jeremy and his brother and (KNOWING that they were allocated seats) didn't get me one... so I missed out on it and Jeremy couldn't work out why I was sooo unhappy at the time because I didn't make a scene as we were at someone elses house... but later on I went out to the front of the house and burst out in tears at what this woman had done. Why did she make my life such hell... am I such a nasty bitch?

I have fought the last 18 years to have what I have with my MIL and this bitch comes along and she is extatic... yet she has made her son quit his job to go on a holiday and use all his savings for it and has nothing to his name... yet I put Jeremy through school while I worked as she didn't have enough money to help him and he lived with me free and I am the one that has saved our butts off so we can have a great house and home and family and now am made to feel quilty like I shouldn't be working part time as her poor son is working hard.

I hate the fact that my BIL being the youngest is treated differently and better and worshiped and I don't even think he realises it. I bet he didn't even get her a birthday present stating that they couldn't afford it.... when they went and brought a fucken laptop only a day ago....

This afternoon was great I had 10 minutes out in the sun as I hate my fat sausage legs being so white so I am giving 10 minutes a day in the sun to make them not look so white and pale he he he and then spent the afternoon learning how to make some necklaces (will put a picture up when I finish it) and then doing some scrapbooking brag books while the boys were playing with the hose outside and Jeremy reading outside and mum as usual in bed because she doesn't sleep at night... instead bangs doors and kitchen things while we try to get to sleep.

I am on holiday and feel like I need a holiday away from my family today....

I do love my family but I have only had a week and getting to the stage where I am getting sick of screaming at them to stop fighting or screaming or just STOP!!!! and I am losing my patience...

And for a mother that is moody and slams things down because she can't say what she is thinking... or as she did this morning... blames Corbin because yesterday she gave him her rings to put in her room and today she can't find them but my mother isn't remembering things and so after a half an hour of trying to help her find her rings.

Everytime I went to go in her bag she said she has looked in there.... I went back in to her room and said "have you found the rings?" she said "Yes they were in my bag" and I said (turning Corbin to face her)... "haven't you got something to say to Corbin?" meaning aren't you going to say sorry?? and she said "I didn't blame him" both Corbin and I left the room and I said as I left "what a child" Man that pissed me off because she expects others to say sorry but she can't say it to her grandson.

Need to get out with some friends....

Friends away.....

Friends online are mostly away.....

NOT good!!!!

K... frustrations are out and now I am going to do my Life Journal maybe that will make me feel better.

Chubbymum

Thyroid

Well...

I am losing my patience already and I have a week to go.

My mother is driving me insane she just doesn't listen and I have to repeat things like 50 million fucken times and then there is an arguement because in the end I don't want to fucken talk to her... it is worse than having a child.

I would rather be at work when I have to do that..

Also I am not in a good mood because we had to take the cat to the vet today because we thought he had ring worm but he didn't and now we are waiting on blood tests... apparently his kidneys are great for a cat that is 15 years old but she thinks he has thyroid problems which means giving him tablets in morning and afternoon... so in the middle of her telling me this before going to get the blood tests on the boys I burst out in to tears because he is my baby!!!! I have had him for 15 years and I love him sooo much... I know that he is only a cat to some people but to me he is more... he knows when I am sick and always snuggles up and he loves being around me.

So after $247 at the Vets I am assuming there is going to be more costs arghhhhhhhh it is worth it but at Xmas it is hard.

Anyway going to go and finish my MIL clock for her birthday now as hubby has taken my mum out YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

So little time....

Wearing another one of Rachels tops today he he he snigger snigger.. feeling quite sexy.

Only 4 weeks to go till Xmas.. OMG does anyone else feel that the year has gone too fast.

Work is going to be bore bore boring today.. one of the creches Directors is away and so I haven't got their work to do grrrrr so that pisses me off... so the day is going to be slow. Think I might do some digital scrapbooking from work he he he... what is a girl to do huh.

Been a bit overwelmed in the last week... there are so many creative things I want to do and when I go to think about doing it I get interrupted by kids or mum and I just wanna be left alone to do it... I suppose that is what happens when you have a family.

I have so many great ideas for Xmas cards and Scrap pages but then I go to do them and I get this... OMG they are not good enough feeling and then all my creative juices just go away... it is the weirdest thing. I suppose it is because I am a Virgo and I am very much a perfectionist... and I think that goes in to the weight loss part of me too... that if I am not perfect then I tend to go on the back burner until my mind says you are doing well... hmmmm I know it makes sense in my mind but reading it... doesn't make sense he he he sigh.

Quinn's class is doing swimming lessons all this week so I have had to leave work early in the morning to take them to school by 8.30 instead of 9am because of their bus leaving for the pools early.. and OMG on the first day he left his swimming stuff on the floor of the garage.. I could have strangled him as I had to go back for it and was a couple of minutes late... teacher was not impressed grrrrr...

On the weightloss front... last week I got my monthly grrr so had a gain last week but I think I am back on track for going down in the scales.. won't be a big loss as I only just finished my monthly yesterday but still going down. I am still tracking and not always making the best choices but I am not doing too bad with keeping within my points so I am happy with that... and the tracking is the main thing aye because it makes you aware of what is going in the mouth.

I have cut down with my V's soooo much you wouldn't believe. I was having 1 a day and now I had first week with 1 in that week and the next week with 2 in the week after... and to be honest I am not enjoying them as much as I used to... so that is a bonus change for me. Saving me a lot of money too he he he.

Water isn't a problem like it used to be... I used to hate water with a passion but haven't minded it in the last three weeks so that is good too.

Been sooo busy with the kids and mums things lately... that I am started to feel like I am just a taxi for everyone...

Milo Soccer, Roller Skating dates, Swimming, Keas (scouts), Keas sleepover, Bingo for mum three nights a week... and not much time for me to do things without having someone there... sometimes I would just like a day that I don't have hubby, kids or mum around.. but I suppose that will never happen.

Corbin was given a form last week as he has had a music aptitude (spelling?) test done and that they want him to learn an instrument. Apparently only a couple of kids a year out of the school have the chance and they get tutors in (it costs the parents of course) $12.50 a half an hour OMG I know it doesn't sound like much but that adds up if they do it every week... but anyway he is allowed to either learn, drums, saxophone, trumpet, clarinet, or flute.. now he said he wanted to learn the saxophone and if he can't then the flute... wellllll I put my foot down on the flute.

If you all don't know already I used to teach the flute and have played at the Tokyo Expo with my flute and travelled playing around NZ and Australia..... and one thing I know is that boys playing the flute get teased as if they were gay... yes I know there is nothing wrong with being gay but with red hair, glasses I am not going to add anything else that can make his life a living hell in intermediate or high school.... I said to him in a nice way that I would prefer if he went for the saxophone or clarinet or drums and that way we can play in a duet together as two flutes aren't as nice... so that has satisfied him at the moment...

So how cool that my son is following in my footsteps with music... it is such a treasure I just can't explain. Mind you his singing is fabulous too... so we might have a fight on our hands together trying to beat each other later on he he he he (we both love sing star).

Anyway I have rambled on enough today... feeling quite glad that I have weeded out my list now to people I know and trust... thank you.

UPDATE:

I have been re-reading through my blog to get some inspiration because I don't want to fall in to not getting this weight off and I found the following link OMG it has made me really take a look at things aye.. I don't wanna go back to this. It just isn't something I want to let happen again.

Chubbymum

9027

Great loss this week

I have been feeling soooo much better since going away this weekend.

Weighed in on Saturday and was 120.7 (ouch) because in the last couple of weeks I have been in a funk... as you all know because I stopped blogging once again...

So I have been tracking properly since Monday and I think by Saturday I will have a good loss woohooo.

Back on track. I think after a couple of months of tracking I just tend to go in to this funk and as long as I get back on the horse as they say then that is fine with me... afterall it isn't a race.

I want to fit in to a nice outfit for Lee-Anne's wedding and I refuse to look like a frump.... so that is my goal for now. Not sure of a size just that I will be smaller than 120.7... so there you have it.

Bloody raining here today so didn't go for my walk at morning tea... can't sit at desk being wet today... will try and go to the gym tonight.

The boys have milo cricket today after school... I am going for the first 10 minutes then I am going to leave and have a coffee at the coffee shop to have some time for me I think... and then go and pick them up. A lot of the parents seem to just leave them and come back... but will see how I feel at the time.

I am really getting in to my digital scrapbooking at the moment and Kate and I have got a website that we are doing quickpages and other things that we design put on the site so others can download and have a go... so if you wanna try go to www.kiwiscraps.blogspot.com and see what we have done so far... I am enjoying it. Also I have done a couple more pages on my own digital scrapbook site too if ya wanna have a look.

My mums birthday is on the 26th November so I am also in the process of doing a little digital scrapbook for her to carry around to show people too... it is going to be about the family and I am going to print them and put them in this lovely little album I brought a couple of years ago but haven't used it as it is soooo pretty I just have it on show he he he silly aye.

The boys are getting invested tomorrow night at keas (scouts) and so I have to go and get their shirts for the night... OMG it costs $90 (EACH) a year for scouts that is $180 a year for me and then on top of that the shirts and then the outings bloody hell..... expensive or what. I am excited for them to be doing it but bloody hell that is a lot of money.

Anyway better get some work done.

Chubbymum

Thursday, Friday and Saturday

Not been feeling well in the last two days.

Tired of the kids... had enough of their fighting and moaning... want them to go back to school.

I think the cold that is going around all of you and my family is now creeping up on me... grrrr.... have a sore throat and headache and feeling really heavy ya know...

Even though I haven't been feeling well I did have a good day yesterday. My friend and her kids and my kids went indoor rock climbing and the boys had sooo much fun. We were there for about 2 hours and it was worth the $11 each.

It was a lot of un. My mum came with us and took some of the photos and I wasn't upset about this photo like I would normally be. I don't think I look as bad as I used to think... so that was a positive just there.

Wow how the time went really fast. The kids enjoyed it and I would take them again and it got them some exercise.

We then went back to my friends place for coffee and took look at the photos we took.

Friday was a lost day for me as I haven't been feeling well and had huge headaches and sore throats. My mum let me sleep in in the morning till 9am but it wasn't long enough and at 9am the boys were bouncing up the stairs wanting to play OMG OMG wish that the school holidays would hurry up and finish. So they watched a DVD up in our room while I tried my hardest to get some sleep.

My aunt that had the stroke phoned mum at 9.30 and they were talking and I got on the phone and she burst into tears. Her words were slurred and she was crying because it was soooo hard to try and talk. She was really good when talking to mum as she didn't want her to know how she was feeling. My cousin got on the phone and said that she was taking it better than expect and that they found a clot in her brain. I didn't know what to say and tears started to well up in my eyes. We are so far away and couldn't help at all... it is just not right. But at least she phoned so my mum could relax a little.

So about 11am I got out of bed and went downstairs and decided to have my lunch before we went out to the library to take the books back. It was the only place I could think of that we could go and the boys would be quiet and I could just sit because I was feeling like crap.... well they got restless and so when we got home I got them on their bikes and we went and got some apple muffins (little ones) and took it over to a friends place to have coffee... I didn't have any of them but I needed to get out and apparently she needed someone to talk to. Her name is Sherryl and things have been getting on top of her lately. OMG I seem to be attracting people with problems lately. Hubby said that it is because I am a good listener... maybe I should have done the lifestyle course like I said at the start of the year. Hmmm still thinking about it.

I have been really slack with my blogging lately... I don't really know what to say on my blog lately...

I have been on this website called www.walkingwithattitude.com and I have been on another website to get more support as I am needing more support than my blog lately because I don't want to go back to the fat person. But I am not happy all the time and I used to be able to say on here but haven't felt like I could in the last couple of weeks...

I know I haven't been losing lots each week but I am losing and in 5 weeks since leaving Weight Watchers I have only gained once and that was only 100 grams. I have lost 1.3kilos in 5 weeks and others can loose that in 1 week but for me... that is still a loss and I am not gaining... it is all good. I get frustrated sometimes when others loose more than me and I have to cope with that... it is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but I can't go back to the old ways.

Saturday

Got up at 8.30 and had breakfast with the kids... I love weekends where we sit and have breakfast together it is nice to chat. Then we got the car ready for going grocery shopping and on the way decided to take the boys to the lake so I could walk around it. What a glorious day weather wise out there. I had my head phones on and it took me 35 minutes to get around it. When I first started walking around the lake it took me 55 minutes so I have improved soooo much.

While I was doing that hubby and the kids were at the playground. We then went and got our groceries and then came home to make homemade nachos for lunch yummmmmmy...

Hubby took me out to get a basket for my bike and then we went for a bike ride to my friend Tania's and around exploring little paths... it was great we went 8.5 kilometres it was a great ride.

Tonight I am spending most of my time on invitations for the expo... it is only one week till I will be there and I am sooo nervous and not really wanting to do it but I know I have to... he he he

Tomorrow mornign I am taking the boys to the gardens where What Now is going to be... so we have to get up at 7am and it is on till 10am OMG that is soooo early.. am I a sucker or what... ??? he he he

Anyway

Good night
Chubbymum

TTOM - and me

Ok so I am copying off Lyn at the moment as I thought it was quite cool.... You just type "(your name) needs to" in Google and see what it says! Funny!

So here are mine:

Mandy needs help in ways I cannot comprehend
(he he he yep yep yep I certainly think so he he)

Mandy needs to keep her image clean and remember what got her to where she is
(sometimes I wonder about the internet ;-) )

Mandy needs to brush her hair, that "windblown" look is just frizzy and nappy...you are on a beach for crying out loud...do blonde and something bright.
Windblown, frizzy and nappy.... well tell me what you think already.
Isn't it cool how if you put a sentence in it can bring out so many things.

I needed that to cheer me up. I HATE HAVING MY TTOM OMG!!! I am not liking it this month. Since losing weight they are getting more and more nasty and on time grrrr... I think I liked it more when I was always late so that I didn't get them every 4 weeks but more like every 6 weeks grrrrrr.

Had to drive to Raglan today for Corbin's soccer game. I am beginning to think that I am a jinxx because they lost their game and basically really played badly and didn't try when last week hubby said they were on fire. Quinn's team won 6 to 4 OMG and when I was with the team last week they didn't get any goals... he he he so I am a jinxx.

It was a nice drive to Raglan... it was foggy but it cleared up.


After the game we went looking around the shops and there were nice shops there but OMG they charged the earth for things. One little lipgloss that you could get for $5 in town was like $19 everything was sooo expensive.

We went into a coffee shop to have lunch but I was too scared to have anything... only because it wasn't looking good for me and I AM NOT GOING TO GAIN I am trying my hardest this week... as Celtic Girl is my inspiration. I mean we both started on the same weight and now she is almost in her teens (so jealous but soooo happy for Celtic Girl as she deserves it TOTALLY).

Not sure how the weigh in will go though because of the monthly and I always gain with it but I am going to try my hardest.

Leenie comes up to Hamilton this week coming and I am looking forward to it. Hopefully she can come to my kickboxing classes with me. Monday and Wednesday nights are the nights... I have even told my Kickboxing teacher about how amazing she is and so she is looking forward to meeting her. I hope she has time to come to the classes it should be fun.

I need to get some peppermint tea in to me... terrible TOM cramps tonight.

This afternoon after getting back from the soccer, hubby took the boys out to the playground and I went upstairs (to get away from my mother to tell the truth) and I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's... not finished it yet as the boys came back and annoyed me but hey. It was nice to sit there and watch an old fashioned show and just blob out. I know I know second day in a row but I have just felt like blobbing these last couple of days.

My mum is driving this whole family insane today... the boys have been good and all of us sat down to watch a DVD and all she can do it come in and we pause and she moans about something and then walks out and then slams the doors and kitchen cupboards etc... and I am not letting her get her way. This is my family and we work damn hard all week and have school, work, soccer and do all the chores and homework and in the weekend we want to blob and she is not going to make me or the boys feel uncomfortable about that. I left home because I didn't feel happy or comfortable living there and she is not going to do that to me again.

I know it was me that asked her to live with us when Dad died and I do love her but I can't leave home anymore because it is my home and I am not at 36 years old going to be ruled by her little tanties anymore.

Does anyone else have lazy days? I just feel lazy and I will get over it. I am not feeling like I could eat the whole house today but I am feeling moody and grumpy...

I DONT WANNA FEEL GRUMPY..

Thank you guys for all your posts lately... it keeps me happy and sane!!!

I was on Livy's page today and I clicked on the following and after reading what was said after doing this made me realise that it got it right... I am sooo like they said...

I want to go to Tuscany and Venice!!! I would love to have a Villa there and spend time with my family and watch the beautiful land and get caught up in the village ways and just feel relaxed and serene and free to learn a new culture.... ok... enough dreaming I will come back to life now.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Anyway now that I have stolen two great things for two blogs he he he I think I might go back to reading my inbox.. OMG I have 177 emails to get through. GEESH ME!!

Love ya all

Hope your weekends are going well..

Love Chubbymum

Ups and downs

Mar 26, 2007 at 12:53 PM

My week has has so many ups and downs...

So be aware that this might end up a long post. I haven't posted since last Monday... OMG didn't realise it has been that long.

I must admit I didn't want to post and now there has been so much happening it is like a nightmare trying to get it all down. I have to write it for myself because if not I won't know what happened in a year etc.

Tuesday
Weigh in day... I so so so didn't want to go in because I knew that I hadn't been good!! And it was all my problem and my fault that is for sure.

So I went there and I weighed and I gained 1.3 OMG I have NEVER NEVER gained that much since I started. The most I have gained is about 400 grams and I am usually happy with that.
I wasn't totally upset because I knew why I had gained and it was my fault but I felt so so bad because I have been yoyoing again.. and I HATE THAT!!!! I want to get this weight off.

OMG when am I going to get it in to my thick head that I have to do this.

I am now 122.5 kilos and have lost 32.2 kilos OMG what an idiot I am.

Wednesday
Went to work feeling ok and thinking well this is my start to a new week and got to 10.30 then had a phone call from my mum all upset and crying and I couldn't understand a word of what she was saying but then after calming her down I found out that my uncle had died in his sleep. So I rang my boss in Auckland and she said "you go, family comes first and I will put it down as bereavement leave" and she also did the remainder of my work for me... OMG I do like my new boss she has been so understanding and easy to talk to.

So that afternoon was basically talking to my mum and to other family members sorting things out.


Thursday
Today was an ok day... not too sure how I was feeling. I had a text message from a friend that lives in Melbourne asking if I wanted some compnany? I said yes when would she be coming to New Zealand.. she said I am here now OMG GEESH couldn't she have given me more warning he he he. So anyway she came over and we walked to school to get the kids in the afternoon. It was great to catch up. I was her bridesmaid about 2 years ago and she is now pregnant and due in June... she looks fantastic. We are going out for dinner with her and her hubby on tomorrow night too (Tuesday as I am writing this on Monday he he)


Friday
Friday consisted of going to the gym and working out with Joy and listening to all the crap happening at the gym and thinking OMG I should just get out of here because it is like Days of our Lives.. and I just want to go and have a great work out and now I have dramas galore at the gym with having Kris there at the same time and then what is happening to the trainers... to tell you the truth I have had enough!!

The funeral was today and as you can imagine my mum was not very good today so the day was spent trying to keep her mind in a better place.


Saturday
Got up early on Saturday as I was nervous about meeting ChrisH... I am always nervous about meeting people.. always wondering what they would think of me and that I probably look bigger in person than I do online. It was a great morning tea... we talked and talked and it didn't feel strained at all. She is such a great person to meet and she makes you feel like you have known her for years. She got to meet my boys as well... but they didn't stay they went shopping and to the library.

So this is when things on Saturday turned to SHIT.... at 5pm got a phone call from Kris!!! OOOPs forgot to say I got a text from her at 7.30am Saturday morning telling me she was in respite care as she tried to kill herself last night (her youngest's birthday too). I didn't know what to say. I was feeling quite angry at her because how could she do this on her son's birthday.. he is only 3 and he should have had a great day with kids his own age and having a major party going on... not having this drama happening in his house.

She tried to cut her wrists. I used to feel sorry for the woman but now I just feel she is a selfish bitch... she said she needed someone to talk to and would I come up to respite.... but because I am a fool I said Ok... but I was not emotional on the phone I was really short with her.

All the way in the car I kept saying to myself.. ok she is in this place because of depression but I can't let her get away with this and I have to say exactly what I was thinking because I am not helping her or myself if I get in to this crap.

So I got there and said
"Ok so what the hell is going on"
she looked at me and said
"I tried killing myself again and I deserve not to be here'
I said to her "If you truly wanted to kill yourself Kris you would have so really you don't want to and you just want the attention again and to be quite honest I am not putting up with it and I made a promise to myself that I am not putting up with the attention seeking again... this is the last time I will come and see you like this"
She looked at me and said "I did a stupid thing.."
"YOU THINK!!!"
She said "I slept with Daniel"
YOU COULD HAVE KNOCKED ME OVER WITH A FEATHER
I said "Your trainer Daniel?" she said yes..
I said "you better not be lieing again Kris because you caused crap for me and if you are doing this to hurt Daniel then you are low"
She said "NO I am not lieing"
I am not too sure if I believe her because this man is a hunk!!! and well... hmmmm Kris is average.

So we had a talk and I couldn't believe how bossy I was and telling her what I thought and she took it all in and she has made some changes. For one not having Daniel as a trainer... and trying to sort things out with hubby as she told him and said that she would go to counselling and was not going to pull attention seeking things ever again.

I don't know how long that will last but OMG all this crap over going to bed with Daniel!!!
All I could think was DANIEL you are a hypocrate... he gave me hell saying that I was saying nasty things on my blog (when you guys know back then I didn't because I was only saying he wasn't the trainer for me and that was it) and that it was going to ruin his reputation if it got out but he goes and sleeps with a woman that is 12 years older than him and she has a hubby and 3 kids... and he has a georgeous girlfriend... now you tell me how is that not being a hypercrate.
So my lovely morning turned to crap really... I should have stayed with ChrisH till going to bed he he he then I wouldn't have had all this.

She even had Joy (my trainer) over there and telling her. Which by the way has Daniel as part of her team of trainers OMG...

I still can't believe it.. I mean EWWWWW.

ChrisH I know I know I know I know... I know what you are going to say... I shouldn't have gone!!! she isn't worth it and you told me so... I know I know but when a friend gets put in respite or hospital and calls me... I just can't say no... it isn't in my nature. I am glad that I wasn't a wuss and let her make me feel sorry for her though because I didn't do that.

Sunday
Went to the gym this morning and worked my little butt off and did treadmill, cross trainer, bike, weights, kickboxing with pads and hubby and then sit ups and when I got up after the sit ups my back hurt me like buggery. I think while doing the kicking to the pads it was too high and I hurt my back grrrr so when I got home I had to lay down with a wheat pack.

Until that is I got a phone call about a wedding invite I am doing so I got ready for that and it was great we sorted out some things and I think she is really pleased with the one I thought would be great for her.

After that Delwyn (from my old Lean group) came over and we had such a heart to heart talk and I was feeling that the girls wouldn't want me back in my old lean after Kris was there telling them things (when she first got there) but she said that people are always asking how I am going and that it was in my head what I thought they thought and that they know not to believe Kris.

I am thinking about going back. I am still not 100% yet but I do miss it and I think I have improved since having the 4 months break. I might consider going back after Easter.

I spent the rest of the afternoon knitting scarfs he he he so that I could sit still because my back was just killing me. But quite please with the scarf that I am almost finished and can't wait to start another one.. he he he I sound like an old lady knitting but it is working for me in the fact that I don't want to nibble while doing it so hey if it works.

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So that was my week... highs and lows.

I am sick of saying this but I am going to work my butt off this week and make next week a week to remember with my weight loss. I don't want to stop!! I want to keep going and I want to get under the 100 kilos by the end of the year and I know I can do it, I just have to focus.

Was thinking about getting a challenge group together or something... something small so that it doesn't get out of hand but some sort of challenge WHAT DO YOU THINK? Any ideas would be fantastic as I just don't have a clue what it could be at the moment.

Anyway Love ya all

Sorry I did ramble on again didn't I!! he he he

OH Welcome my new blogger friends. ChrisH after putting my photo etc up on your blog I have had lots of people going to my old blog and emailing me from there. I appreciate it!! I need to get back to reading other peoples blogs and having comments from others here too... I need that motivation again and maybe this is the way to get me going huh.

Also... Lynise and Lee-Anne... I have got your emails but haven't had a chance to reply and I WILL I PROMISE... maybe tonight. I am so so so so sorry for the delay. I am not ignoring you ok!! just haven't had time to reply properly.

Love ya all
Chubbymum

Comments

Chris H wrote:
Mar 26, 2007 at 3:44 PM
SILENCE....... I am saying nothing about anything I could put my foot in my mouth over......I commend you for being there for your ???friend??? You yabbered on so much I don't know what to comment on ! Have a fantastic week, talk to you again soon I hope.

Tracy wrote:
Mar 26, 2007 at 5:49 PM
Well it has certainly been an interesting week hasn't it? I know we all keep telling you to keep away from Kris but I understand why you went, you would have felt worse if you hadn't. I do not know if she DID sleep with Daniel, I am sure she WANTED to & probably fantasised about it. Maybe he just could not resist the attention either. You know it is difficult to know if that woman is telling the truth - maybe you could ask him :-)
I hope you have a better week this week, without the dramas.

Celtic Girl wrote:
Mar 27, 2007 at 12:48 AM
I saw your photo on Chris's blog and you look great.
Now Kris, hahumm, has this woman got some form of Munchausen's Syndrome?
I know I don't "know" her and THE trainer, but really, do you really think he would have slept with her???? Is this another attempt to cause some trouble and try to shift some of the blame from her to Daniel.Is she trying worm her way into your sympathy.as you said correctly, if she wanted to do it ,she would have done it by now.Sorry if this sound callous but this woman is sick on so many levels.

Anne wrote:
Mar 27, 2007 at 10:51 AM
Kris really sounds as if she has huge problems. You are right though - a lot of what she is doing is for attention. Do feel for her husband and kids.
Sorry to hear about your gain - hope you can get your head around it and start afresh - ín fact I know you can!

fortysumthing wrote:
Mar 27, 2007 at 9:12 PM
Shit I could talk my head off on this post. I went through the suicide thing with my youngest son. Don't talk about it much. Too painful. In the end it all boiled down to getting attention and to him getting his own way. Through devious methods I got him to the doctor, who sent him for counselling. He's fine now. All I will say is that maybe now Kris will get the help she needs, which means .... it's no longer your problem. It's a selfish thing that she did. With time I hope she realises it. She is a very unhappy women and she needs help to sort herself out.
As for you, I hope you kicked butt and got back some of that gain you had last week. You're a survivor Mandy, you will always come out on top. Why, because you are happy and have a wonderful husband and family there to support you.
I noticed that the balloons over Hamilton is coming up. Might bring the kids over for the weekend and we can catch up. Whadda reckon.
Love ya heaps girl. Keeping smiling that beautiful smile.

Ngatea Water Gardens

Jan 5, 2007 at 9:41 PM

Hey!!!

I had a full on day yesterday and totally enjoyed it!

Maybe that is my New Year's Resolution to get out and go for it no matter what it is we only have one life to live so let's live it.

Got up had breakfast (in bed I might add from hubby he he he) then phoned MIL and we all went to Ngatea Water Gardens and it was a lot of fun. They have jokes all the way around the gardens and the kids get to do a quiz along the way so that they keep occupied.

What a beautiful place it is and they have so many funny things as you can see in the photo below. They have bird houses with sky digital on the top and a sign on it saying "For Lease". Sign saying Caution Falling rocks and then some gumboots under a rock. Also a gate saying please keep closed and there is only a gate and nothing else he he he. The flowers were georgeous and the whole place was enjoyed by all of us. The plague that said Do Not Stand Here was so funny. My oldest decided to stand on it and he got soaking wet he he he he too funny he should have done what it said he he he.

We then went out for lunch and I had a panini with mushrooms and bacon and really really enjoyed that.

Celtic girl in response to your comment yes I am feeling much happier and to be honest I shouldn't have told Kris about my blog because seeing her so much at my son's school and gym I couldn't talk on my blog anymore.

After driving there (which took an hour each way) we got home and went swimming with Debbie. Debbie and I swam lengths and the boys played (with my hubby) in the kids pool. I did 40 lengths but Debbie decided after 28 that she would go and play with the boys. I didn't swim the whole 40 as 15 of them I aqua jogged back and forth... it felt good and felt like I had achieved something. OMG it is sooo hard to swim after not doing it for years. I found doing the freestyle that I didn't want to put my face down in the water as I was always out of breath... I am sure I will get better and I am determined to go every Thursday night with Debbie and get my heart pumping. I have to get out of my square and the gym is good and I am not going to give up but I think I need to try something different.

Food is my problem!! How do I sort it out?

I am going to make sure I point every day but I am wanting bad food so much in these holidays and no matter how much exercise I do won't help me at all if I don't get it under control.
I suppose when I get back to work things will get back to normal.

I am really trying with the water and when I go for my hour walk every day I am trying my hardest to make sure I am sweating enough so that I am working hard... hmmmm it is going to happen I just have to keep to my points and stop being so bad and convincing myself that I need to eat more when I don't need to eat anymore at all. I do feel it is all in my head.

Hubby took me out for lunch today to an Italian Cafe and we enjoyed our time away from the kids. We went to find out about doing a Life Coach Diploma but when we got there the guy that answered the door said he was there to paint and they wouldn't be back until the 16th January so I suppose I have to wait till then.

I have really thought about my future in these past holidays. I have wanted to do training as a Life Coach for about a year now and have been too chicken to go for it because of money and because of part of it I have to be interviewed to get in to the course and I think I was thinking that because I am big that they wouldn't accept me because if I can't loose weight how can I help others in their life choices.... but then I have two years part time study to do before I will be coaching anyone and I want to specialise in helping people with weight issues and that is what I am going to concentrate on. I know that there is more to losing weight than just eating and exercising and some skinny people don't know about the head stuff that goes on and I want to help as many people in my situation as possible.

So when I lose the weight by the time I finish my 2 year studies then I WILL be in a position to help others just like I wished I had had from someone.

I want to do this!! I hope that I am not too late to get in to the course because after much thought I know I want to do this.

Anyway... tired and need to get some sleep
Love CM

Comments

janene wrote:
Jan 5, 2007 at 9:55 PM
Hey girl, you definately should go for it with the Life Coach training. Even if you start off with one paper (or module or whatever), you can at least dip your toes in the water (so to speak), and see if it is really what you want to do. From the little I know about Life Coaching there's more to it than just coaching people who are overweight, so you shouldn't let that stop you, not for one second!! For ages I was put off midwifery because I thought I would be turned down because of the "health screening" tests, which I was assumed was weight/fitness related, but it turns out it's just bloodtests for diseases that you don't want to pass onto patients and immunization levels. Anyway, I think you get what I mean. Just GO FOR IT! And doing the studies yourself will no doubt help you in your own journey... and you can use us as guinea pigs hehehe :)
*hugs*

Fat Queen wrote:
Jan 6, 2007 at 4:22 AM
I love the photos! It looks like you had a wonderful time -- you're looking FAB-U-Lous and the boys are getting soooooooooooooo big!! They grow so fast, don't they?
Love the Diet utensils. Made me laugh :)
To answer your question -- I never HAD a partner. I just did it myself. I don't know how I stayed focused... I guess it was my MISSION or something. Now Mom/I are working together and that seems to work well. She's got arthritis and the docs told her it would be good for her to do water therapy -- so we go together!
From what I understand from my Physical Therapist and trainers, a day of rest is good. Just so that you don't let it be too many days in a row -- then you're outta sync. Or don't want to continue. I try to schedule everything in my life -- including days of rest :)

Lynise wrote:
Jan 6, 2007 at 10:49 PM
Ohhhh,,, I love Ngatea Water Gardens. (as most garden freaks probably do) Its such a well established garden and I also love all those funny quirky little things they have included in the design. I was actually suppose to have that venue for my wedding reception but here we are,, still not married and know that I won't be. (thats another long story, I should blog about it sometime soon) Roger, the guy that made the gardens gave me a lot of tips when I was setting up our garden.
Know what you mean about the food. Since my wisdom tooth infection, (and stitches) have all finally healed up I seem to be inhaling enough food to feed a small nation. I am certainly making up for not eating over Christmas/New Years. (grrrrrrr, at myself). I HAVE to get back on track.
Ciao for now

Celtic Girl wrote:
Jan 8, 2007 at 4:05 PM
This place look really pretty from your pictures. You also look so happy and vibrant.

Blob out day

It is a blob out day today.

Spent the day just being at home...

I must admit I am a little bored with it now as I am now used to doing something everyday exercise wise.

My mum has been in one of her little moods today deciding to punish me with something by doing the silent treatment and staying in her bedroom. I think I have come to the conclusion that it is her problem as she has been doing this all my life... making me feel quilty for something but never telling me what it is and I think that is why we usually go out because it is unbearable sometimes.

I went in her room and said to her that our whole holiday she was saying she missed us etc but when we are at home she doesn't treat us like that and moans about everything all day... the room is messy, the kids playroom is untidy (while they are in there playing), the lawns aren't mowed yet (and it is still on Saturday morning) it is honestly driving me insane in the last couple of weeks. I am 36 years old, this is my family and we have a mortgage and we are married and she still treats me like a 12 year old and does these little tantrums.

I love my mum... she does help us out a lot and she is a lovely lady but I am finally at 36 realising that the little tantrums are her problem and if she is going to stay in her room and sulk and not tell us what the problem is then she will stay there all day and that just makes it more of a problem for her as it doesn't bother me like it used to... it does a little but I am not going to let her do it to me... the mind games just brass me off now.

We made fridge magnets with the boys today with plasterer paris (spelling he he he??) and then painted them... they look so cute. We played playstation and we also spent an hour reading our books. We are trying to teach the boys that they need to sit and read now and then and not just play on computers and watch tv's.

I read some more blogs today as I want to get more inspiration to keep me going on this weight loss journey, and one lady I did read was dietgirl. To be quite honest I have come across her blog so many times by others that read it. I was intimidated because she had stuck to it for so long, and is in a place where I want to be and felt a twang of jealousy... but I take my hat off to her as she is an interesting lady and I think I will keep reading.

Been a little hard to keep on track with Crusher's new progam today because of staying home all day I am nibblish... but I stuck to it... didn't want to mind you... It is hard for me the week after my monthly I find that I want to eat sweet things on that week and it drives me insane. Hmmm but I will battle that.

Good night everyone.
I am tired
Love Chubbymum