Wednesday, 28 February 2007

Private - Bitch and Moan

Feb 28, 2007 at 11:34 AM

I want to have this seen by everyone but then I feel like I would come across as a moaning bitch again and people don't want to read about ti all the time.

I hate my job!!! I hate the animosity and I hate the fact that Donna is being such a bitch... it is never her fault and she always blames it on someone else.

Yesterday Carrie (one of the teachers) found out her mum had cancer and it is serious and she is going through a lot and asked if she could take today off and Donna told her no she had to get in to work today OMG how compasionate is that!!! What a bitch... I MEAN WHAT A FUCKEN BITCH it is a hard thing hearing that one of your parents could be dying and you want to be with them and one FUCKEN day wouldn't have harmed anything she just needed to get a reliever... but NOOOO she didn't..

I know this doesn't effect me in my job and so why am I getting so upset.. I am getting upset because if something as serious as that is going to be turned down imagine what else... I mean there is not bloody compassion.

So Carrie went in this morning and resigned OMG resigned GOOD ON HER!!! But you know nothing will be done... Donna won't get repremanded or anything because Vanessa and her a too close.

She is not a good manager and people are complaining left and right and nothing is being done and Auckland just think it is the staff ganging up on Donna that is the problem and that isn't the case.. hello they believe one person over lots GEEEE that is logical isn't it.

So it has made me even more determined to get this business up and running.

I made an appointment with a Graphic Designer to get my logo etc designed and for me to go into business. I don't know if being in a shop 24/7 is what I want but I enjoy stationery and if it was my shop I reckon it would be different and the first couple of years are going to be hard but as long as I can pay my wage then hey....

It would be ideal if I could find a shop that I don't have to open on a Saturday or Sunday but that is unrealistic too but I could get staff in aye... I know I could. Wouldn't mind having a business like Create but I wouldn't know where to start.

Jeremy is happier to help me get this business up and running compaired to the other times I have tried so that is a good sign. I think he thinks this is a good idea.

All I need to do now is get my name out there and get some weddings under my belt and I reckon this could happen.

I have Sheree Hanna wedding and I have a bloggers wedding for next year and I have a birthday party for a 10 year old girl and I was told yesterday by Dion's mum that we could probably do Alex's birthday invites too. Also have been asked by Marina if I scanned and did booklets so I said I would give it a go and see how much that would get me... hmmm should be interesting.

If I keep myself organised and keep getting work then why wouldn't it work.

I have to get a bank account for the business now and see how that goes.

Tuesday, 27 February 2007

Invite pictures

Feb 27, 2007 at 10:44 PM


Just to inform you that photos don't always do them justice and the colours aren't as good on a photo.

But if you want to see the photos go on down the right hand column to Collections and then to Invites...

I hope you enjoy them.

Also remember that there are two photos for some things because there are different things to the package like menu's and reply slips etc

Thanks for reading guys
Love ya

Chris H wrote:
Feb 28, 2007 at 8:09 AM
They are really lovely! You are very clever! Have a lovely day Mandy.

Rachel's World wrote:
Feb 28, 2007 at 11:55 AM
I just LOVE your invites, you are sooooooooo clever.

I have been away for a week and just caught up on your news (Kris saga) and I have to say I agree with everyone else........stay away for her. She has apologised which is great but you still don't want a relationship with her and I would let her know next time she rings for a 'coffee'.

Lynise wrote:
Mar 1, 2007 at 1:06 AM
Hi deary,
wow, the cards are AWESOME, (with a huge capital A) I would imagine that there is certainly a market for them as I havn't seen anything so detailed or exquisite available in the shops.
Hope your not letting the Kris situation do your head in. When I read about her changing what you had written then showing it to the people at the gym in an attempt to make you look bad I couldn't believe a grown adult would behave like that. My opinion is that there is someone seriously screwed up inside a persons mind if they are capable of acting like that. It actually reminds me of Glen Close in the movie fatel attraction where someone can change their personality so dramatically and try to cause you a lot of grief. I can certainly imagine how you would have been feeling like throttling her when you first saw her in the carpark. Then turning up with flowers for the PT is just bizaire. I find her whole behaviour is so odd and doesn't sound like the actions of a stable individual at all. I certainly think your better off without someone like this in your life. I would hate to see you go through more drama if she thought she was back in your good books. Anyway, take care. Ciao for now. Lynise

No post last night & WW UPDATE

Feb 27, 2007 at 9:37 AM

There was no post last night even though I really really wanted to post... didn't have much that I could talk about but felt like it ya know.

I went to bed at 7.30 straight after dinner because I was not feeling well at all... really upset tummy and couldn't keep my eyes open... OMG I just want these last four weeks to be over with and stop feeling so bad.... I can't get rid of this cold grrr but hey it didn't turn in to the the flu so that is a consolation.

Went to the gym at 6 to 7 to do my kickboxing class and while I was doing the class I kept thinking OMG 2 years ago I couldn't do one set without stopping to breath and now I am only stopping because my face is dripping and I need to wipe it. I love the sweating and I know some of you are going to think what a strange person but I could never sweat before... it just wouldn't happen and now it is coming down in droves and I LOVE IT he he he he he.

I am punching harder and sit ups are getting so much easier and even all the upper thigh work is getting better. I feel fantastic.

Now did I tell you that on Friday a teacher (that I haven't officially met just that I see her walking around) came up to me and said "you look absolutly fantastic and you inspired me to go and lose some weight (she is another big lady) and she has now lost 16 kilos WOW was I ever shocked I mean I didn't even know this lady and because of me she has gone and helped herself... isn't that fantastic!!!! she is look really good too.

I know I promised to get some photos up of my invites but because I went to bed so early I didn't get the time but will endeavour to do it tonight after weight watchers and parent/teacher interviews.

I have now got a 10 year old birthday invites and a wedding to do and might have a 21st wooohooooo bloody woohooo it is sooo exciting. Is there anyone out there that just loves stationery as much as I do... I am certainly a psycho when it comes to stationery he he he
I am at work at the moment but don't feel like doing my work but I know I have to... Tania just rang to say there was a big sale on at Scapbook Inn on Sunday so guess where I am going he he he he... wedding invites here I come he he he

Anyway better get back to work.
Love ya all


I stayed the same with my weight this week and to tell you the truth I deserved it!! I haven't been concentrating on my weight loss this week. I have been trying to get my invite business up and running and getting over this cold... so I am not bummed about it.. better than gaining..
This week I am going to concentrate on both the business and the weight loss and it is going to happen.

OMG I have now:

2 weddings, 2 birthdays, and a booklet for a friend for her mother in law (who is dying) and they are doing a booklet of her poetry etc for all the grandchildren... so that will be an interesting project for me.

Feels good to have those appointments and only in a week woohooo. So if anyone knows of anyone else please send them my way.. I am calling my business Papaya Invites and so now I have to organise my business cards, logo and website woohooo.

Good night.


janene wrote:
Feb 27, 2007 at 10:09 AM
OMG so I just caught up on the last few days blog entries, and I can't believe that Kris cow tried to weezle her way back into your life. Good on you for facing her, at least now you know that there is no way ever that the friendship will be rekindled. Let's hope that Joy has the strength to get Kris's claws out of her too!
Sounds like you are loving doing your invitations. That's great that you've found something you can do that you love, and that you can still keep your main job for now. I just love stationery too... pens, pencils, papers, notebooks, they are all just so deliciously wonderful (now I just sound weird!). I think that's why I'm enjoying scrapbooking so much hehe

Chris H wrote:
Feb 27, 2007 at 1:10 PM
Ha! I never used to sweat either! Now, like you I have it pouring off me! YAAA for sweat! It means we are working our butts off.... in every way.

Chris H wrote:
Feb 27, 2007 at 4:39 PM
Haaa haaa ha, a certain person who shall remain nameless (K) left a message on my blog,inviting me to view her blog ! She wanted my email address too.... hmmmmm ???? NAH ... NOT GUNNA HAPPEN... I deleted her message, I don't even want her name in my comments. OH GOD I'M NASTY

Sunday, 25 February 2007

Woohoo weekend

Feb 25, 2007 at 9:26 PM

What a fast day... went to the gym to have my PT with Joy and had a good talk to her about the Kris saga and told her exactly what I thought. Said I wasn't happy that she told Kris to come to my house with morning tea because I really could have done without getting back in to this friendship... told her about the morning and said that I fcelt nothing and that it is only a ploy to get the attention she always craves and she agreed with me.

She said that Kris is txting her so much and she is going to tell her to stop and Kris's trainer was telling her on friday that he is only doing the PT and not the food side anymore and she is always arguing with him about it and he is finding the txting and constantly taking food up to him at the gym getting a bit possessive... I said to Joy that I am tired of being the one that has to solve her problems and that her life has gotten worse since I haven't been around because she isn't getting the attention and I am not solving all her crap..... not wanting to do that anymore.. not going to do that anymore... not interested!!! Said to Joy that if she knows what is good for her she needs to stop the txting or she will be sorry.

So after that I went home got showered and met the school mums (three of them) at our coffee shop down the road... woohooo I feel so alive when I meet these ladies and they are all fab looking but don’t make me feel like I am any different from them. We talk about so many things other than kids and weight loss and it feels like back at school again ya know.

Friday night I went over to Debbie’s to colour her hair... mind you it didn’t look like there was a difference because she just did it a similar colour to what she had but tried to make it one colour instead all the different highlights she had.

Debbie is boarding with a couple (the lady works with us) and so they went and got some takeaway and came to our place as they had never seen our place and wanted to have a squiz... so we ended up playing rapidough such a cool cool cool game... it is a mix between pictionary and play dough... you use play dough instead of the drawing and you lose a little bit of dough if you lose and the one with their dough at the end wins. You play in teams.

We drank wine and laughed and had so much fun and are planning to get together for a BBQ next Sunday woohooo.

Got up early and made a list for our shopping then went to The Warehouse to look at Vacuum cleaners and other stuff.... I got some more T-Shirts for the gym size 2xl woohoooooo as I started with the same T-Shirt of 5xl and now the 3xl’s are too big he he he makes me feel really skinny now he he he.
Went out and got some more paper too as I made hubby’s birthday invites and they turned out sooo cool... I just loved them. Tomorrow night I will take some photos and put them online...
I have a 10 year olds birthday party invites to do as well... and the lady that Debbie lives with is getting married and wants me to do some wedding invites samples for her too for 50 people woohooo bloody is taking off.

Did our grocery shopping then came home and I started on those invites and didn’t want to stop until they were finished.

Woke up early went to The Mad Butcher to get meat for the BBQ (with the girls that I have morning tea with on a Friday and their hubby’s and kids). There were 6 adults, 7 kids and my mum.... and it was a fantastic day and everyone brought something for the BBQ. The kids played on the slip and slide and blow up pool and playground and in the playroom so nicely and we didn’t have to tell anyone off and they ate well and played from 10.30 till 4pm.... it was Devine and the company was relaxing and no mind games.
The best part was I wore a singlet... I didn’t wear a huge t-shirt like I usually would. I didn’t feel like wearing a singlet would be an issue and for once the BBQ wasn’t really really hot like it would have been.

Our boys were asked to go to Laser strike with their little friend down the end of the street because it was his birthday and then they went to McDonalds for dinner so hubby and I had 2 hours to ourselves so it was so damn hot we went upstairs for a spa bath (cold one) and my wonderful wonderful hubby got some foot massage stuff and gave me a foot massage and back massage.... ok you probably didn’t want me to go there he he he but it was so nice to be us again and to just relax.

Chris H..... I sooo realise Kris is a chronic liar and I so agree with you she is trying to make me think that her and Joy are best buddies but Joy said to me Friday that she knows that Kris is a liar and that she isn’t to be trusted and that both her and Daniel know what she is like.... and I am not to fear.. hmmmm why didn’t they believe me in the first place huh!!! Her spots will not change and I haven’t forgiven her... I told her I don’t know what to think and it certainly wasn’t that I had forgiven her because I had said to her that she had caused me crap and she needs to get her facts straight before she goes on a vendetta round on someone... OHHHH and I forgot to say in the middle of my PT with Joy Kris turns up with a bunch of flowers for her... OMG why in front of me ya know... but to make me feel like she has won.. hmmmm just my thought anyway

Felicity – GIRRRRLLLLL you so know what Kris is like because you have met her.. The only reason she left a message on your blog is because no one is commenting on hers and now she is caring enough to write messages to get people to reply on hers... it takes two to have a friendship and if she doesn’t bother to care what is happening to others then others will do the same to her. YOU KNOW what I mean. I certainly don’t want to go there anymore with her and will be keeping my distance... my friend Tania was sooo mad with me that she smacked my arm when she saw me next as she has never liked her.

I thought things we over with... with her but they weren’t and now for me it feels over and I don’t feel anything... I mean... I don’t feel anything and I thought I would and I thought I would have been happy to go back to what it was but NOOOOO I am not.. and I am hoping this will be the last saga with her.

I had a great weekend... it was full and I had fun and it is starting to look like next weekend is the same he he he

Love ya all


Chris H wrote:
Feb 26, 2007 at 11:38 AM
I reckon things are over between you and Kris now, your head is in a good space and you are not brooding over the bitch. Just move forward now, and don't give her the time of day, don't waste energy on even thinking about her. The flowers for the PT in front of you was just a mind game, but she didn't win mate, she just made herself look pathetic.... ha ha ha. I am so glad you are having fun with the invitations too, post some pics!

Tracy wrote:
Feb 26, 2007 at 3:06 PM
OK - the woman is a nut job!!!! I am glad you met her for coffee & I think you handled it brilliantly. She seems to have alienated or pissed off a whole lot of people & I bet she is feeling very alone - you on the other hand are having a great time, you have lots of friends, great family & social lives. If she has anxiety issues etc then she brought them on herself & quite frankly, she deserves it, it is called kharma!!!!

Anne wrote:
Feb 27, 2007 at 9:09 AM
Just caught up with your blog - while it is hard to lose a friendship it does sound like you handled it really well. good on you for moving on and putting it all behind you.

Thursday, 22 February 2007

OMG the Kris saga keeps going!

Feb 22, 2007 at 6:16 PM

As you have all known I have been battling with this Kris saga and how anyone who says they are my friend would do such a thing... it is a suzy school thing to do.

Well I took the boys to school this morning and then came home and got in the car to go out to buy stationery to make some more invitation samples (feeling quite excited about it as I am a stationery aholic woohoooo he he he).. anyway back on the subject. I got a text from Kris and I sighed and my mum said "what is wrong" so I told her about the text. I have told her about all what Kris did and how she alienated my trainer Joy (which hasn't gotten back to normal either). So with all that I told her what Kris had written which is as follows:

Hi I knw this is a long shot but if u r free ths morning wld u let me buy u a coffee? I wld like 2 put the past behind us & move 4ward. I really do miss our friendship & I knw I hav sd & done sme hurtful things & I am sorry 4 tht if I cld change thngs I wld. Plse consider it. I am free till 11.30am.

Mum said that she has texted twice maybe it would be nice to go and see what she has to say and sort it out and to get it so that I don't have to afford her but not to get back as friends. To be quite honest I don't want to get back as friends. I don't mind be acqaintance but that is it for me.

So I texted her back with "I am not sure Kris. U caused so much crap 4 me and in the email u were happy about it. I miss some things but other things I certainly don't. My mum thinks I should have a coffee so I only half an hour."

She texted back " Thank u. I dnt blame u 4 being cautious u hav every right 2 b."

So we had morning tea and when I got out of my car she came over and OMG I didn't know what to do or say as I still had such hatred for this woman that in the past 3 months has caused my life to turn upside down. She gave me a hug and said that she missed our friendship and was glad that I came for a coffee..

I am not sure what I felt but pity for a woman that thrives on kaos.

Went in the coffee shop and she paid for a coffee (skinny one he he) and when she passed her card over she was shaking like fully shaking and when she tried to close her purse she was shaking and I said to her "what is wrong" she said that she will tell me soon.

So we sat down and I heard that she was sorry and bla bla bla I just felt like screaming at her. But I had to give her the benefit of the doubt at least she is saying sorry for all the crap but that doesn't excuse it ya know.

She said that yesterday she went to the doctors as a friend took her there and tried 4 doctors before getting in to the doctor... now I was sitting there thinking does she think this excuses everything? I didn't do this to her she did... The doctor said it was anxiety and has put her on antidepressents etc.

In the last couple of months she has alienated her mother and me and her family and other friends so something needed to be said that she needs to go and see a counsellor or someone.

I sound harsh don't I? I did talk to her and I was nice and in parts we smiled but I don't want to deal with all her emotional stuff anymore... I have enough crap in my own life to deal with let alone solving hers. I am happy that it can be left in the past now so I don't have to avoid her all the time but to be quite frank I don't trust her anymore. We left on a good note and she kept apologising and I said to her... I am not sure what to say to you Kris but thank you for the coffee.... I think I was unemotional about it in the end because I didn't feel anything anymore after finding out that she enjoyed giving false documents to my trainer and her trainer.

Which by the way she was telling me that her and my trainer have been texting a lot (now Kris always told me that she was jealous of the friendship between Joy and I) now I guess she has gotten what she wanted my trainer... anyway Joy said to her that I wouldn't answer the phone if she called and maybe I should take a morning tea over to my house and sort it out... I am pissed about that because I told Joy how I felt and she needed to keep her nose out of it. So I have made the decision that I am not telling Joy anything about my private life anymore and I am only doing the PT's with her as I get a lot out of them but that is it... I don't want to get in to that crap ever happening again and if I don't convide I don't have to hide.

I told my friend Tania and she thought I was a fool to go back into that crap and that I will get sucked in once again and I said to her that I just wanted all this to end but it didn't mean that I was back as her friend as I want to be able to trust my friends. She still said it quite to the point that she thought it was the wrong move considering she knows Kris.

I also phoned Debbie to see what she thought and OMG her and Tania could be the same person sometimes... they both haven't met each other but they are sooooo similar it is scary.

So that was my interesting morning.

So after the coffee with Kris I went out shopping for papers for doing my invitation samples woohoooo got to spend some money and on my favorite thing..... STATIONARY WOOHOOOO.
Did anyone watch bloody Biggest Loser at the end they basically told us in the commercial that the blue team lost OMG that really pissed me off!!!

I am rooting for the blue team as I like their attitude and I am rooting for Eric to win (he is like 400 pounds).... I don't mind the red team but that lady that made that other lady feel really bad last week I could have slapped her... Karma!!! what goes around comes around and what a bitch for telling her off in front of national television... if it was me I would have gotten rid of her because she isn't a team player.

Anyway on that note I am going to make invitations woohooooo
Love CM


Chris H wrote:
Feb 24, 2007 at 3:29 PM
Mandy.... remember that Kris is a chronic lier, what she said about your trainer could be a bloody lie to alienate you from your trainer again. Be careful of a wolf in sheep's clothing, do not trust her. She has shown herself to be a back stabbing bitch, and leopards DO NOT change their spots. She is just feeling sorry for HERSELF cos she had alienated so many people against herself.
I take my hat off my head to you for going to coffee, I would not have given her the satisfaction on being able to say "Mandy has forgiven me", cos I bet she uses that to her advantage somehow.
I hope you had a wonderful time shopping for stationary, I love it too.

Kateypie wrote:
Feb 24, 2007 at 9:31 PM
I hope you will post some photos of the invites! Exciting!

pink-elephants wrote:
Feb 25, 2007 at 9:36 AM
hi Mandy
hmmmm re Kris-I see she has posted a comment on my blog over night I need to go delete this. I think u did the right thing by going and seeing her in your mind now u know u r over her u felt nothing for her and u can get on with your life if she contacts u again just say no thanks and say hello if u pass in street as u would anyother stranger and this in reality is what she is strange. She was a big part of your life for a while but now that part is over u have gone differnet a lost love there are memories but it wouldn't be a good idea to go back there.
Hope u r having an awesome weekend big hugs from me

Celtic Girl wrote:
Feb 25, 2007 at 9:15 PM
Mandz, I agree with Chris, dont trust the her, be very careful.I think she was trying for the sympathy vote from you re her "anxiety" problem which has all been created by her, so let her wallow in her own shit.

Tuesday, 20 February 2007

Weigh in and my week

Feb 20, 2007 at 8:58 PM

Weigh in... well I gained 500 grams but I am not unhappy about it because I have been emotional the last couple of weeks and have eaten when I shouldn't but haven't eaten that much.

This week I am back on to it!! I am not giving up because of a measley 500 grams. I want to get rid of 1.9 kilos to make it to my 35 kilos and I am not going to let it go yoyoing again I am not.
I have been so busy this past 4 days working on my invitation business and enjoying everything about it... I am sourcing out things and I am doing invitation samples and researching it is great... feel on a high from it.

The only problem is.... is that I think I am getting a bloody cold. My nose is blocked my throat is sore and feeling quite ikky but it isn't going to beat me.

Still worried about what the results are going to be with the smear but I suppose I can't do much about it aye.... just crossing my fingers.

Going camping for Easter with my friend and her family so we are just sorting out food and what we want to do while camping at the moment so that is great... the boys are going to enjoy it because they haven't been away with another family yet.

My mum is in one of her moods at the moment and is grumpy and taking whatever has gotten up her bum in the last couple of hours and I have come to the conclusion it is her problem if she doesn't want to tell me what the deal is... I am not a mind reader.
I am watching Life on Mars on channel one and OMG it is interesting.. I will be watching it again.
Anyway buggered and going to bed after the show..
Will promise to update a little more.

Rachel's World wrote:
Feb 21, 2007 at 1:10 PM
Don't worry about the gain sweets just concerntrate on next weeks weigh in.

Your invitation business sounds so exciting, I can't wait to hear more.

Tracy wrote:
Feb 22, 2007 at 5:14 PM
Hiya. Just checking in to say Hi. I like the sound of your invitation business, it is something you can start small & build up. Hope you are feeling OK today.

Friday, 16 February 2007

Emotional day

Feb 16, 2007 at 10:44 PM

Ok so I didn't mention yesterday that I have been fretting about going for a smear today... I have not been sleeping and I am still really worried about it all. I went it is done... and it isn't the physical smear that worries me at all hey I have had two kids ya know...

I will find out in a week what the results were and I am a fretter... I went through a brain tumour scare 11 years ago after being married for 6 months it was the most god awful thing I have ever been through and wouldn't want to go through it ever again that is for sure.... so hubby today took off the time to make sure I got my backside in to the doctors nurse to get the smear... and the lady was ok but she had the feelings of a gnatt. I was quite emotional and really tried not to but with my Dad going through 10 years of cancer problems I was beside myself...
So it is over and done with and I can't do much about it now. She said to me that everything seems to be ok so I suppose she knows what she is saying and she said that now we just have to wait for the results hmmmm

So for the next week I am going to be a wreck.


Went to the gym for my PT today and my trainer said that she noticed today that she thinks that I have lost a bit on my tummy because when I was doing my sit ups it looked so much flatter so I felt really good about that. I have been quite good with my food yesterday and today but Wednesday was a bit of a nightmare but hey 1 day a week isn't too bad I reckon and as long as keep the rest of the week good.

So I have been doing some more thinking he he he about this business thing... now I know I want to do something crafty and I want to be able to do it so I spend time with the kids etc... so I am starting my invitation business from home again. My friend that owns the florist said she would stock my business cards and she is having a stall at the Wedding expo so if I could get my a into g and get some invites done then I can promote my business there.

I know owning a shop will be a lot of work but I think it is something that I want to do...
especially if it is creative. But one step at a time I am going to see how many invites I can get and then if things are going alright I would like to open an invitation shop so people can buy the paper and stuff to go towards making their own invites or birthday invites etc and give advice or do them for them... plus have lots of things to do with weddings like little boxes or mint boxes etc in it. I think it is needed in this town as there isn't that much there and especially not much that collates it all in one place.... anyway that is a thought at the moment.

I will have to post some photos of my invites here one day... but copyright them he he he.

So it is keeping me occupied at the moment so I stop thinking about the results of the smear... I know some of you are thinking you stupid fool... why worry about something like that but if you have been through the last 20 years of my life you will understand that I don't want to die right now but I also don't want to know if I have anything either... it is a strange feeling but I want to be in denial and keep on with my kids and my hubby and enjoying the life I have and what I am doing and achieving... selfish bitch huh!!!



Chris H wrote:
Feb 17, 2007 at 4:00 PM
The last time I had a smear test was after I had Mike, 17 years ago! It was the most humiliating, degrading experience of my life, and I vowed then to never put myself through that again, and I havn't! I asked for the nurse to do it, she couldn't "find" my cervix, so called in another 2 nurses, who also couldn't find my cervix (I know I've got one!), so then they called in the two male doctors.... who had me in this position, then that position, until finally after about 45 minutes they managed to obtain the smear... and I was hysterically crying. I am a very self conscience person (down there) and just can't do it again. And the bastards said it was because I was so big ..... I was about 85 kilos!! and had just had a baby weighing 10pd 4oz !!! Don't ask me to go have one, it ain't gunna happen. I hope you don't stress too much waiting for your results, but you probably will ! Have a great weekend.

Anne wrote:
Feb 17, 2007 at 7:52 PM
Hope all is ok - not the most wonderful thing to have done:(

Kateypie wrote:
Feb 18, 2007 at 8:52 AM
Not sure why you are so worried about the smear? Have you had abnormal results before? When I worked for family planning I had just started learning more about smears, and had done a few (haha, it's embarrassing for the nurse too!). Cervical cancer is a very slow growing one.. which is why the smears are only 2 years apart.. so usually what happens as the smear shows low grade abnormal cells, then the stages go CIN1, CIN2, CIN3,(all just abnormal cells and not cancer) and THEN cancer may form.. but, it IS very slow growing usually, and they are great about treating the abnormal cells, as soon as they show up. I hope that this didn't freak you out, I was just trying to reassure you. And well done on going and having it done, even though it's made you a bit stressed out - if there were any abnormal cells, they can treat them asap, and prevent anything worse growing. Good on you for looking after yourself!xx

Rachel's World wrote:
Feb 19, 2007 at 11:58 AM
You sound like you have good reason to be emotional about your smear and I'm sorry you are going to have such a horrible week worrying.

You must let us know when everything is OK because now you will have all of us waiting on the results..........hahaha

Thursday, 15 February 2007

Last couple of days

Feb 15, 2007 at 10:12 PM

Well... didn't feel the urge to write in the last couple of days.

Sometimes I wonder if I am bi-polar or something because sometimes I am really happy and then the next minute I can be sooooo depressed. Maybe I am just imagining it but in the last month I have had so many ups and downs and really way up and really way down that I am wondering if everything is ok with me.

Anyway Valentines day at work was a nightmare and I didn't like it whatsoever this new company is a bloody nightmare... having to put sunscreen on the children with gloves and tissues and each child has to have separate gloves on too... and that is only the start of all the changes... sometimes I wonder about the Australian company that owns these creches... hmmmm sometimes you can go overboard aye.

Picked up the boys from school and then got ready for going out to dinner for Valentines day with hubby. He is such a sweety. He organised for a lovely dinner and beforehand we went to two different places for a drink and one with a drink and starters and then on to the place for dinner.... it was such a relaxing night and I enjoyed spending time with him. I also got a card and in the card was a charm for my bag that said SWEETY on it with little diamonds and Pink jewels... it was sooo cute.

Ate way way too much but that is life.

Today I got up thinking I have to get off my backside and stop being so lethargic and get some exercise so I walked the boys to school and then went for an hour walk and it was good as I was listening to Anthony Robbins on my MP3 player and it was an interesting walk and it went really fast listening to Tony because that man can talk.

Got home and showered and then went out with mum shopping. My friend Tania brought a bright orange top from Ezibuy last week and it was down from $49 to $35 so I went in to get one and while I was there the Manager said that anything on sale would be down a further 50% OMG now I couldn't pass that up so I found 9 tops he he he he and I have gone from a 5xl shirt (being tight) to a 1xl and felt fantastic... I brought 4 singlets and 2 three quarter shirts one in a bright orange and another in a lime green woohooo something bright and then 2 jumpers (bright red (not a tarty one though) and a lovely bright blue)... normally I don't like to stand out but they weren't over the top colours...

It felt really good to buy clothes and try on clothes that fit, I was so happy as you can imagine.
Tonight I went to the gym with Debbie and it was sooo hot that I sweated like a pig and enjoyed it so much it was good.

Debbie was saying that since I haven't told her my weight things have gotten bad for her and I felt so sorry for her. She gained 3.3 after xmas and in 4 weeks she managed to lose 3.4 but then last week she gained 1.1 and really I must say that it isn't my fault...and I am not telling her my weight and I think she needs to re think things because she is the only one putting food in her mouth or not exercising ya know.

Last week alone I saw her eat 2 twix chocolate packets (the double packets) and a morning tea that was put on she over did it, I didn't tell her because I know that when people point out if I am eating wrong I get mad and go the opposite and I don't want to be the one interferring. I didn't much like the fact that she was trying to emphasise that she hasn't been losing because I don't tell her my losses or gains. It is working for me because I am not feeling like I am in a competition for her. It isn't working for her and I want to help her with that but she has to help herself first too aye.

Hubby seems to think that maybe she was saying what she had lost and gained because she wants me to tell her how much I have lost but I didn't... I didn't because I don't want to know how much she has lost or how much we have between us because I don't like it and to be honest I wished that she didn't tell me how much she had lost as it does my head in... maybe she did it because she knows it will do my head in??? not sure... I would like to think that she wasn't being mean.... the benefit of the doubt ya know and that she was telling me because she needed to talk to someone about it. I did confront her on the chocolates though because she said she didn't understand why she gained and I said "so you didn't have anything that you shouldn't have" and she said no and I said hun have you been tracking??? and being honest with yourself? She didn't answer so maybe that was a yes?.

I said to her that she needs to be tracking and when she does she will lose again... I must say I am not perfect and I don't know all the answers because if I did then I wouldn't be in the situation I am in aye...... I do want to help her anyway I can so the exercise part is the part that we need to work on with each other.

Well I think I have convinced Joy to do a night time Lean as she is investigating the possiblities and who wants to do it. She said tonight it looks like there is 4 of us that want to do it and she is going to put out a flyer in the gym to see if anyone else wants to join... the only problem I have is if bloody Kris joins... now Joy knows all about what Kris did and she knows the reason I am not doing the morning Lean is because of her so I don't think she will let her do it... and she better bloodywell not as she has the morning Lean. I cannot wait it is going to be lots of fun.

Ok my marathon post is done now.
Love ya all


Chris H wrote:
Feb 16, 2007 at 8:08 AM
I don't think you should tell your friend your gains and losses, if she is not doing well it is her own fault, don't let her put in onto you. I'm sorry you have been feeling up and down so much lately, maybe when you get over the "Kris" thing properly you will bounce back to yourself? I hope so. Have a great day!

Rachel's World wrote:
Feb 16, 2007 at 11:38 AM
By the way, I love the new pretty backgrounds you have on your blog.

I reckon you need to just concerntrate on you and what you are doing and never mind worrying about Deb, she's a big girl. You know that you aren't going to tell her your progress so if she digs just let it go over your head.

Sunscreen with gloves and tissues, they are little kids - can you imagine the complex they are going to get as they get older. Sounds like really weird and over the top rules to me.

Kateypie wrote:
Feb 16, 2007 at 7:37 PM
Yay for shopping! I love ezibuy - they usually have good sizes, and decent stuff, and sooo cheap when they have a sale - woohoo!I wonder the same about myself re: the moods up and downs, well lately I do anyway. It's not fun eh?!Hope you have a good weekend :-)x

Tuesday, 13 February 2007

Sleep hmmmm

Feb 13, 2007 at 6:24 PM

Well today wasn't an exciting one at all.

I decided that I was worn down and that it was time to have a sick day. I haven't been feeling happy with myself in the last week feeling quite run down and not sleeping etc so today was my day to call work and have the day at home in bed... and that is what I did! I got up at 8am got the boys ready and took them to school and then came home and went to bed till 2pm OMG if anyone knew me that was reading this... I DO NOT sleep longer than 8am ever EVER and to sleep till 2pm I needed it. I have been feeling listless and not been going to sleep till 11.30, 12.00pm every night as I just can't sleep.

I don't have many sick days and in the last year I have had 2 days sick so I don't feel bad about taking the day off at all.... but sometimes feel like I am playing hooky or something he he he.
Then at 3pm I picked up the boys and on the way home took them to the playground for 1/2 and hour to wear them out for the night as with the heat they haven't been going to bed early enough either.

I am still in two minds about what I want to do with my life at the moment. I know that what will happen will happen but I hate not knowing what it is I want to do.... I like having a plan and being a Virgo I am all about lists and plans etc.

As you know I have been wanting to do the Life Coach course but I have left two messages and haven't had a reply so it makes me wonder whether they are too busy or really if I spend $6,000 that I will get my money's worth out of it so I am hesitant to put my application in yet ya know. But it is something I want to do and I can't find another place in New Zealand that is NZQA qualified that I can do at home in my own time instead of going to a class.... so if anyone knows of a course out there pleaseeeeeee tell me.

I got a phone call from a Dance company today as they kept my phone number from last year and they are starting classes tomorrow and wanted to know if I wanted to register... now I do but then I also want to go to the gym with my husband as I enjoy the time together as we don't get much time... so have decided not to go to tap dancing and to keep up with the gym with hubby.

Hubby and I enrolled in a Life coach night course where a Life Coach helps you decide what you want to do with your life... we thought it would be a good opportunity to spend some time with each other and to also find out if she could help us decide on what we could do with out life in relation to personal, financial, work, etc... so we shall see I suppose... then maybe I will put my application in hmmmm sigh...

I think that this course will help me to guide myself to where I want to be. I would love to open a craft shop down the road as there is an empty shop (new too) but then I don't know all that needs to know about classes etc or about other things like how to start a business etc and will it make enough money.

I wish that I had someone that would go into the business with me that I get along with and that knows what they are doing. I want to do something that makes me happy and something that I can go and get my boys from school and have time to do things that I enjoy ya know.... why is it so hard for me? I enjoy the craft side of my life... I enjoy learning new things... I enjoy going and picking up my boys and having my two days off to go for coffee with other mums... am I liking the lazy things I sometimes wonder or am I liking the freedom.

The only problem with not working is not getting the money and being tight with money.. and to be frank if I could do without the weekly wage I would ya know... but I also like being able to buy things and pay for a Personal trainer and getting my nails done now and then and buying some craft stuff too.

I sit back and think..... am I doing this dreaming of having a craft shop because my friend has opened her shop or would I really like to do it?... my friend said to me that if it is something I want to do then I have to bite the bullet and do it... she is a forth right person and has no troubles being backward and coming forward (if that is the saying) but with owning a business you have to spend more time at the business and sometimes less time at home with the kids... do I want to do that and miss out or do I want to do the business and be able to afford to have holidays with the kids etc instead of living from week to week with money?

I don't know where to start... maybe I should do a small business management course and see where that takes me? Hubby seems to think that would be a good idea at least with a small business management course I could see if owning a business is something that I want to do...hmmmm.... why am I so indecisive????

I just don't know guys!!!
Love CM


Chris H wrote:
Feb 13, 2007 at 7:20 PM
All I can say is : " If in doubt, don't", wait until you are absolutely sure of what you want to do before taking anything on. A small business course sounds like a good idea. A shop sounds "fun", but there is soooo much more work involved than you would ever believe, and your priority is your children and family first.... at least, that's the impression you give me. I hope your wee sleep peps you up! Can't imagine sleeping that long !

Tracy wrote:
Feb 14, 2007 at 5:25 PM
Hi I agree with Chris, owning your own business always sounds great but the work involved is HUGE, you may be able to afford the holidays etc with the kids - just never be able to afford the time to take them. I agree the Small Business Management or some such course is a great idea, it will give you an insight into what is involved in running a business, plus teach you heaps as well. Eventually if you do end up doing the life coaching - you could set up your own business doing that if it is what you want to do.
You talk about going into business with someone else, this is also fraught with danger, again, a good small business course could help you see what the possible problems are & how to avoid them.

I know what ever you do decide, you will give it your all & will do great:-)

Rachel's World wrote:
Feb 15, 2007 at 11:33 AM
Hope your feeling better today missy, you must have needed that sleep to re-energise.
I agree that you should do a small management course first before even thinking of getting into your own business. Heaps of work and money (start up costs) and with the boys so young is it something you have to do now?

Sunday, 11 February 2007

Weekend went too fast

Feb 11, 2007 at 8:37 PM

Weekend went way way way too fast.

Saturday I mowed the lawns and I am enjoying mowing them as I get all sweaty and I can listen to my music while doing it... I think it is like having time away from the kids and my mother.

Then we sat out the back watching the golfers and listen to some nice soothing music it was nice and BLOODY HOT. Went and got a shower ready for a bbq at my old bosses house. Her and her husband have a yearly BBQ with a live band and a lamb on the spit and they have themed BBQ's and this year was a playschool theme it was quite funny as they were dressed up in nappies and bibs etc and by the time we got there they were legless OMG he he he but the band was fantastic and the company was good and the lamb OH MY HEAVENS it was sooo tender and yummy.

Sunday got up at 8.30 and had my weetbix for breakfast and got to the gym by 9.15 where hubby and I met Debbie there and we went on the bike for 15 minutes and then on the treadmill for 15 minutes and every minute went up an incline until I got to the 15 incline arghhhhhh and my calve muscles were aching. We then went and did some weights on our arms and some kickboxing and crunches and then on the cross trainer for 10 minutes and I was happy with that today. I wasn't going to go to the gym in the weekends anymore but I am happy that for the last two weekends I have gone.... I think it is when I think I have to go that I don't want to go.

Did I mention that I talked to my trainer Joy on friday and said that I miss Lean heaps but I WILL not go back with bloody Kris there????? Well we have been talking and I think she must miss me heaps (Joy) because she is going to see if she can manage having a Lean class on a Tuesday and Thursday evening WOOHOOO BLOODY WOOHOOOO. It will hinder WW a little bit as usually we get there at 6.00pm to weigh and the meeting is at 6.30 but with LEAN being on the Tuesday we won't get there till about 6.40 but at least we still have the meeting aye and I weigh in because I really want to do Lean... I miss the friendships and I miss the group activity and maybe some of the morning ladies will come at night instead aye??? Sooo woohooooooooo.
Kate thanks for the comment I SOO THINK I AM GOING TO GET TO GOAL TOO HE HE HE and believe me it is a hard thing to admit as for a long time I couldn't even think past losing the first 10 kilos.

Did the groceries today and then went out to coffee with my friend Delwyn (who I met at Lean a year ago) and then went to Tania's to help her concrete fake trees in a pot for her new florist shop.

Made three cards today too... I am getting back into making my cards as they have depleted a little because of using them he he he he... so that was nice and relaxing.

Not sure about weigh in this Tuesday as I had a little too much alcohol on Saturday night and food was over done... but not nibbles I didn't touch the nibbles at all but did have a bit too much of the lamb on the spit he he he and a bit too much alcohol he he he he

I read a blog for the first time today but she reminds me of Leenie and Sue (because they have a way of making you really realllly think about certain things) and I really really loved the post competition girl it is how I have been seeing things lately... this lady makes me think and ponder and I soooo like that. I have seen her comment on some blogs but never went and checked her out... I have now.. you should go check her out.

Love Chubbymum

Chris H wrote:
Feb 11, 2007 at 9:00 PM
How neat you may start Lean again, so glad you had a wonderful weekend. I don't go to the gym on the weekends anymore, I chill out instead. And You sure are going to get to goal girl!

Rachel's World wrote:
Feb 12, 2007 at 10:42 AM
Hi mate,
You sound 'on fire' with your exercising.
I am going to go and do a 'card making' class of a night to learn how to do it as I really want something to relax me of a night once the kids are in bed, can't wait.
I also overdid the eating on the weekend (Poker night) and so am not hoping for great things on Tuesday night. Good luck with weigh in :)

Anne wrote:
Feb 13, 2007 at 4:17 PM
Admire you for resisiting the nibbles!
You are inspiring me to push myself a lot harder and get into the bym - thanks!!

Friday, 9 February 2007

Exercise Rocks

Feb 9, 2007 at 11:00 PM

Took the boys to school and BOY WAS IT BLOODY HOT!!!

Had to be at my pt with Joy at 9am and I was looking foward to it.

She started me on the cross trainer on level 4 for 15 minutes (she tried for 20 but I would have gotten off the thing and slapped her he he he). I was sweating like a pig... the thing I found great today was Kris was there, as she has organised to have her trainer train her on the same day same bloody time.... grrrrr get a life woman you don't have a job and have all week to have a bloody appointment with her personal trainer why do you chose the one day I am there?? and then thought to myself it is working well for me as I try harder and go longer so go for it Kris... you might think it is hindering me but it is making me better.

Then Joy got me kickboxing and punching and holding a bridge back and forward like a yoyo and I was sweating again... he he he he love the sweating just love it as I never sweated when I first started going to the gym.

Then OMG she got me on the treamill and every minute she would up the incline and so by the end I was going on a 15 incline ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH I had sore sore sore calves and then she got me walking from then but I felt like doing more so when she was chatting to an old guy that was standing next to us I decided to up the speed and go for a run on the treadmill... I was on fire and it was fantastic but then I stopped and then rested for a minute and then went on again so I was on the treadmill for 22 minutes ARGGHHHHHH I almost died after that he he he it was great but I am not feeling too sore right now.

Went home after that so happy with myself and got showered and went to the coffee shop down the road to meet up with the ladies from school for our coffee time with the kids woohooo and decided that we would meet every fortnight as we had so much fun... I really like this bunch of ladies and we all have boys but they aren't all in the same class but my son Corbin and Cathan his best friend... but decided that since they started school in the same class that we would keep as friends (the mums) it is really good to catch up and they are a bright bunch of ladies.

After that mum and I went shopping and I looked around some book shops and brought a couple of magazines (making cards) as I have to get back in to making them.. it relaxes me.

Went out tonight with Debbie to a work farewell and it was good I had a couple of drinks and had some fun out with some of the girls at work that I hardly see as they work different times it was great fun listening to the music and rugby and talk talk talking wohoooo it was fun.

So my day was full on.....

Drank a lot of water today and was pretty good with my food too so that is great for me.

Have such a full on weekend too. I have 1.4 kilos to get to my 35 kilos and 1.2 to get in to the 1 teens... I have to stay focussed I have to!!

Love Chubbymum


Chris H wrote:
Feb 10, 2007 at 8:46 AM
You have a fantastic attitude to life mate... you rock! Yaa for the treadmill, and feeling motivated to work harder "because" she is there! Great inspiration, just wish my pain in the arse neighbour was at my gym too !! I need something to keep me motivated.

Kateypie wrote:
Feb 10, 2007 at 9:41 PM
I hope this doesn't make me sound like a bitch, but sometimes I read blogs and I think to myself 'they are never going to make it to their goal, never' (terrible!), but with you, I just know you are. You will, you so so will. You are great!

Lee wrote:
Feb 11, 2007 at 12:57 PM
You are doing so great with exercise...makes me get off my butt and try harder:)
Those coffee mornings sound like great fun...I should make more of an effort to be more I know once you get 'out there' it's well worth it!!
Hope you are having a great weekend xxx

Tuesday, 6 February 2007

Weigh In

Feb 6, 2007 at 8:48 PM

I lost... I lost... I lost...

I lost... I lost... I lost... woohoooooooo 1.1 kilos.... 1.1 kilos....


1.1 kilos woohooo

I now have 1.4 kilos to get to 35 kilos and 1.2 to get under the 120's WOHOOOOOO TEENS HERE I COME.

Last week weight: 122.2 kilos
This weeks weight: 121.1 kilos
Lost this week: 1.1 kilos
Start weight: 154.7 kilos
My goal weight: 75 kilos
WW goal weight: 66 kilos

I am so so so so happy can you hear it in the writing he he he he.

I have my exercise sorted!!!

I have my food sorted!!!

I am getting over the Kris thing... it will take me a while I know and I know I mention it in here a lot but then if I mention it in my blog then I don't hold all the frustration in.

I am doing it for me!!! I am grabbing on to my future and I am doing it for me everyone!

P.S if you ever want to recommend my blog to anyone (apart from Kris) please do!! I really want to meet more people and would love them to read and if they can get something out of it too then that would be great too.

Went shopping today brought 2 new pants and 3 tops and a sports bra... in a bloody 18D OMG I haven't been in an 18 in such a long time.

Yay Yay Yay
Work tomorrow ho hum but hey we have to do what we have to do.
Love Chubbymum


Celtic Girl wrote:
Feb 7, 2007 at 12:45 AM
Yay, I'm the first to congratulate you.(small things amuse small minds).Woohoo girl, thats a FANTASTIC result I'm so happy for you, Now send me some good karma across the Tasman as I need it

fitcat wrote:
Feb 7, 2007 at 2:22 AM
Yay, I get to read one of my favourite people again! I have missed reading about you and have often wondered how you are getting on. Wow, that is such a great loss and getting a smaller bra size too! I think 2007 really is going to be your year. :)

Our journey wrote:
Feb 7, 2007 at 7:47 AM
Wooohooo! Fantastic loss hun! I am so pleased for you as you deserve this so much! Sorry I don't comment so much but please be assured I am always reading your updates!Take care xxx

Chris H wrote:
Feb 7, 2007 at 8:24 AM
1.1... same as my loss last weigh in, WAY TO GO!!! Keep it up, you are great! Read that "she" is going private on her blog too, yaaaaa, good riddance.

Anne wrote:
Feb 7, 2007 at 10:57 AM
Great work - bet you are over the moon! Have another great week:)

Lee wrote:
Feb 7, 2007 at 1:13 PM
You are powering along!!!

janene wrote:
Feb 7, 2007 at 3:14 PM
Awesome loss my friend, well done! Watch out 1-teens, here comes Mandz! hehe

Kateypie wrote:
Feb 7, 2007 at 10:50 PM
Well done cm

Lynise wrote:
Feb 8, 2007 at 11:59 AM
hi there deary,
so sorry for the lack of contact. I'm a vox idiot. I kept popping into check on your blog but it was always blank so I thought you must have deleted all the posts and I was sitting in the wings waiting for some new posts to appear.
Then I discovered that I can only view your posts if I log in under my name. What a dipstick I am. I never occured to me that I had to log in as your photos were all visable it was just the posts that were missing.
Anyway, now that I've found your still posting I will be back again soon.
Sorry to read about all the frustrations with Kris. As others have said it was extremely nasty for her to copy your blog, but then to change it to suit her own agenda to defame you was truely vindictive and incredibly nasty. I can understand why you would want nothing to do with such a person, and lets face it, who on earth would want someone capable of doing that as their friend.
Don't feel bad about writing how your feeling. We are here to support you, and if the issues with Kris are on your mind, then you do need to vent and let them out.
Hope your having a lovely day.
Ciao for now

Tracy wrote:
Feb 8, 2007 at 4:30 PM
Congratulations on the brilliant loss. All of us who read your blog are there to support you & be your friend. We may not be able to sit there with you but we are here for you to "talk" to. If you want to vent - we will listen & not judge you, that is what friiends are for. What Kris did was quite frankly, extremely nasty & quite scary in a psyco sort of a way, you have every right to want to smack her in the chops!!!!
Have a good evening


Rachel's World wrote:
Feb 9, 2007 at 2:48 PM
OMG girl, your a bloody STAR!........1.1kgs that's amazing!!!!!!

You do sound like you have everything sorted. Isn't it amazing that you 'maintained' for sooooooo long and now you are creaming it! Good riddens to bad rubbish I say (Kris I mean).

I can't wait for your 'I'm in the teens' post, not long now

Monday, 5 February 2007

What a day

Feb 5, 2007 at 8:33 PM

OMG I have been so so so good all week!

I haven't had a V

YES YOU HEARD IT I have not had a V all week... that is a hard thing for me to do for those of you that have been reading for years... I am addicted to V but I did it and I kept to points or just under and didn't go under and didn't. I am so proud of me this week.

I did more exercise this week and really tried and focussed on going longer or further at each exercise and I hope so so so so much that I lose this week.

I got a compliment today from a young teacher at my work and she said "wow you look fantastic have you lost more weight" I felt like on cloud nine after that.

Work has been a nightmare with the take over and the lady that came to sort out the take over was in a rotten mood today. I don't know what is happening with my job! I don't know who my boss is anymore! They asked for me to change my working days to Mon,Wed,Fri and I was upset and she said that she can't make me change my days but what a pain in the fucken ass having to come in one day off the next then in the next it is a pain and I am not going to do it. Our centres have survived for the last year (and made a profit selling us too) with the hours I do now so why should I change? I will be fighting this.

I have been forward thinking in the last week about my Life Coach course and that the bloody government isn't going to stop me so I went and applied online for a student loan anyway and they sent me out the forms to sign and said the only thing that I need to do is sign and send back and then they would contact the institution they even had the institution on their drop down list so we shall see what will happen. I hope that it all works out and I get to do my course as it brings out a passion in me.

I am sore he he he he sore!
Love ya all


Chris H wrote:
Feb 5, 2007 at 9:01 PM
Hells Bells, where to start?? No V - amazing! Keeping to points - friggin fabulous! Getting student loan for Life Coach - YA F---KN HOO ! fingers crossed it all works out for you, and as for the job, fight !

Friday, 2 February 2007

PT with Joy

Feb 2, 2007 at 5:35 PM

Had my PT with Joy today and I got on the rower to warm up before she was ready for me and when she came over and starting chatting I said to her that I don't feel motivated with my exercise anymore and that I just haven't wanted to come in to the gym or to go for my walks as much.

So she got me off the rower and we went for a walk and was trying to organise how I can get exercise in my week and enjoy it... she was trying to suggest that I take my 1 hour PT and split to two half hours and a half an hour on each of those that I keep going with the exercise so I make up the hour.... I said that that was a great idea but not until the kids are back at school so I can sort myself out an so in the next two weeks we are going to organise that.

She also said "You know that if you wake up early on one of the LEAN mornings you are most welcome to come to class I miss you and so do the others, but no pressure"
I said to her "I would probably end up smacking Kris in the face"
She said "I thought after seeing both of you in the gym last week that things went ok"
I said "I wasn't in the same group as her I was doing my PT with you and I hated every moment of it knowing that she was watching"
She said "Why is this still going"
I said "I didn't want to bring this all up again because it turned out to be a nightmare last time and you thought it was me causing all the trouble"
She said "I didn't say that!"
I said "The way you were interrogating me said it all and the way you got really mad with me when I didn't want to go to Lean with her there like I was being a bitch"
She said "I am sorry I didn't think I did that"

I then proceeded to tell her all about the email that Kris sent me before xmas saying she enjoyed giving her version of my blog to Daniel and got great pleasure out of it and how much crap it caused for me. I also told her about the text last week apologising for the email she sent before going away" I said I wasn't going to tell her.. and Debbie said I should have told you.

Now Joy is a Christian and doesn't believe in swearing or grudges etc and all I heard coming out of her mouth was "The Bitch don't fall in to her trap!"
I said "I didn't reply and I don't intend to"
She said "You did the right thing and you are the bigger person here, you have integrity"
She said that she has told Kris that if she moans just once in the Lean group then she is out and Joy preceeded to tell me that I should come back to class. I want to sooooo much go back to my group but I don't want to be the one looked at like I am the ogre because of punching her (what will happen if she gets in my face). The problem being is that in Lean they get people in groups or with pairs and if I am paired with her I would scream.

I phoned Debbie about all this (as she was at work) and she said she was keen to go back but would go with me or not what ever I choose. I told her my fear of being paired up with Kris and she said that she would be my team member if that would be the case... I will have to talk to Joy about that situation before going ahead with it. Hubby said I should wait till winter as knowing Kris she will wuss out of it.

Yay the kids go back to school next week Yay Yay Yay how great is that! I love them and all but they need the stimulation and they need to be around their friends.

I need to buy a sports bra!! OMG soo soo soo nervous about buying one because I still don't feel I am skinny enough to get in to one or where to find one. I am a size 22 D and I haven't seen anywhere that makes them. Does anyone have any ideas?

My eye is looking so much better today yaayyy

Anyway I might write some more later
Have a good night everyone.


M wrote:
Feb 2, 2007 at 6:08 PM
Yay I am in!!!I think you should go back to Lean. You used to enjoy it so much. Don't worry that Kris is there. She is just another person now. She is not a friend, not family, not a threat. By not going you are still giving her power - in that she is reason you aren't going.
If you really are scared you will physically hurt her - then no, don't go because it will just ruin it for you.
You are doing really well and I hope when the kids go back to school you can set up a really enjoyable exercise routine again.

Go for it...

Lee wrote:
Feb 2, 2007 at 6:33 PM
M is right!!!
I used to be 22dd....what a pain to find bras eh...
Have a great week:)
Leighanne xxx

Chris H wrote:
Feb 2, 2007 at 7:29 PM
Umm, maybe you could go back to Lean, as long as you know you won't be teamed with the Bitch... and I echo your YA YA YA, the kids go back to school next week. Thank God, I have so had enough of them.

Tracy wrote:
Feb 3, 2007 at 10:11 AM
Hi ya
Try Bendon sports bra, they are pretty good & nothing moves - I have been wearing a 14DD for years but in actual fact, I am a 12E!!!!! How the hell did they get bigger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also Fayreform have a wireless one, neither of them are extremely flattering in the cleavage dept, they kind if flatten & squish but stops them bouncing around too much. Try the Bendon factory shop in Hamilton. One thing about the Bendon ones - they go over the head & are actually a bit tricky to get off - again definatly made for function not looks & ease of use :-).

I agree with your hubby about Lean - as soon as the weather cools down madam will not be getting her arse there!!