Friday, 30 December 2005
This morning I woke up startled by a phone call!!! I looked at the clock and it was 9am... OOOOHHHH SH****TTTTT I was supposed to pick up Kris at 8.45..... SH**T SH&*T so I got up, got dressed and made over to her place... still not awake I might add. After the full on day yesterday I think I was in the mood for a relaxing day NOPE NOPE NOPE that was not going to happen today.
So we went to the gym for an hour and a quarter and worked out.... on my arms mainly but did do some cardio and tummy exercises too. It was great to get back to the gym and I had on my mind to work out my "Bingo arms" as some people say he he he. I don't want saggy arms! I DON'T. Dropped off Kris and got home where the boys were waiting for me with their bike gear on ARGHHHHHH they were wanting to go on a bike ride and wanted me to go... so the sucker I am I went. (We took the car around afterwards and it was 4.5 kilometres). We stopped at the shops and had lunch with the boys and we stopped at a couple of playgrounds on the way home too. My youngest Quinn on the last stretch (4 years old remember) kept saying "don't ask me to go on a bike ride again... I will not go" he he he I started to laugh!!!! The poor little man it was a long ride for him that is for sure.
Had a fantastic heart to heart with hubby last night and he devised a plan for me for this weight loss and it is for January only at this stage. I am not going to say what it is here but at the end of January if it all works out and I lose weight then I will share it with everyone. I needed something... something for me to get my hooks in to. So far since Tuesday it seems to be working and I feel great so hmmmm.
So needless to say I am BUGGERED and I am now going to bed! I have had enough for the day and tomorrow is another day.
I want to get to my 25 kilos!! It will happen won't it?
Thursday, 29 December 2005
Went for that bike ride last night he he he. It was pouring down with rain... I was so wet he he he he he and I really loved it. On the way home we went down Kris's street to go visit and see if she wanted to ride in the rain with us but got to her house and saw a car out front and though OH well she must have visitors and turned back around and kept biking. It was great to go for a ride without the kids but I didn't realise how many muscles you actually use when riding a REAL bike and not one at the gym. It is so much harder to ride a real bike as there are different circumstances. Plus if you ride a bike at the gym you can get off when you have had enough and do something else but with a real bike you have to keep going until you get home he he he.
Today was all planned. We got up early and went downstairs to get everything ready for our trip over to Waihi to check out some of the camping grounds and to go to the beach. It is about a 1 to 2 hour drive and we packed a lunch and got our togs together and towels and then the bloody phone went. I wish I hadn' t picked up the phone that is for sure. It was hubby's work saying that the servers were down and so he had to go into work so he finally got home now... so that was our day gone. I was so mad about it because we were all looking forward to it. So I made a compromise with the kids and said that we would go tomorrow but tonight after dropping off mum at Bingo we would go to the swimming pools and take our dinner there and have some fun and they were happy with that.
We got a gas bbq (little round one) for our camping trips today at the Warehouse so I am happy that we have got that now. We can cook food while camping.... got some more plastic cups and plates (reusable ones) and I think we are mostly sorted for our camping trip Waitangi weekend.
Hubby's boss thought he was back at work today but it isn't till next week and he phoned to apologise for breaking up our holiday that he told hubby that he could have a full day off when he liked to replace the couple of hours he had to go and fix the problem. So that was nice so we are going to use that for the Waitangi weekend holiday woohooo. I cannot wait I can tell you. By then hopefully I would have lost more weight and feel more comfortable too so woohoooo!!! Maybe I could get to my 30 kilos hmmmm I might be pushing it he he but I can try aye.
I wish this weather would make up it's mind. This morning it was brilliant sunshine and then an hour ago it was pouring down with rain and now it is sunshine again... GEEESHHH. Glad that we didn't go camping this week. Maybe in February the weather will be better but not too stinking hot hopefully he he
Anyway I will post more later but had to post something as I am addicted or bored hmmm not too sure which one.
Love ya all
Posting More he he he
OH MY GOD how exhilerated am I!!! We went for another family bike ride!! ADDICTED ADDICTED ADDICTED. We went from our place to Chartwell and then around the board walk and back home. Started out at 1.30 and got back at 4.10 it was the most fun I have had in ages. We went and got a bike pump and we got some water and an icecream (99% fat free for me he he) and rode back..... it was exhausting with the kids but the boys did so well especially my 4 year old as he is a little slow on his bike with trainer wheels but he enjoyed himself so much and there were hills galore with the board walk and then came back and they still wanted to go out for more. Convinced the oldest that the playstation came would be cool and the other little one is looking at books. I need time to relax. Hubby made me a gin and tonic (oops) he he he and relaxed am I he he.... realllllllllllllllllllllly relaxed as I don't drink that much anymore that it goes straight to my ankles and head he he.
Tonight we are going to the pools to take the boys and there is more exercise for me he he! Thought since we didn't manage to go to the beach today that we would go to the pools tonight and have dinner there too!!! Woohooo for us.
I have been wanting to do so much with the boys lately and last year I would have stayed home and let them do the bike ride and the pools with hubby but NO NO NO NO I am not going to do that anymore!!! PHEWEY to staying at home and they have all the fun. I am still 130 kilos but I am not going to let it waste me away anymore.
So there is my tipsy entry add on for tonight... everyone have a good one.
Me AGAIN (laughing hesterically he he)... went to the pools tonight as well and had a really fun time. I am still nervous getting in the pool worrying about what other people think. I know I shouldn't worry about what other people think but I do. But I did it!! I got in and I had fun with my 3 boys and it was fantastic. We got there at 6.15 had dinner and then went swimming until 8pm. The boys loved it the daddy loved it he he he and so did I. I put my arms on the side of the pool and kicked my legs for about 20 minutes it was a great work out that is for sure. Now sitting at home boys in bed and having a cup of hot chocolate and chilling. he he he I promise I won't update again he he.
Wednesday, 28 December 2005
So that is what I am doing until the 1st of January and then I am back on it full force. I am going to enjoy my time with the kids and I am not going to fear about food or exercise and if I do it then I do it and if I don't then I don't.
But OMG on the 1st of January 2006 it is on to it full force.
I wasn't feeling that good today. I woke up ok and slept ok in the tent but maybe I didn't have a deep sleep??? not sure but after having breakfast and a shower I felt so hot and my headache was back again. I have been drinking enough water etc that is for sure and so today was going to be a day just to do a little bit and not a lot. We cleaned the garage of boxes and stuff that we could take to the tip and then went to the Warehouse to get a bigger seat for my bike and OMG when we got it on we went for a ride and it was FANBLOODYFANTASTIC feeling that is for sure. The seat is so much better and not hurting me anymore. We went half way around the block and it poured down with rain he he he so I told hubby to go off with Corbin and get out of the rain and I stayed with Quinn until we got home. OMG if I was any wetter I would be sinking he he he he.
It wasn't that much exercise as I had to go Quinn's speed but I got out and that is an exhilerating experience for me as I have always been too scared to get on a bike as I am big.
I have to get into the 120's in the next month... I have to!! I am 131.6 kilos at the moment and I am yoyoing so much and I have had enough of it.
WILL THIS RAIN NEVER END? I want to go for a bike ride with hubby but I don't have a rain coat to wear to go biking with he he. Maybe that is the next challenge for me? To find a rain coat that fits to go bike riding with? Do they make them in my size? hmmm
Anyway have a good night everyone.
Tuesday, 27 December 2005
Thought I would tell you what just happened.
We had a knock at the door!!!!
Anyway here is the story first..... 2 weeks ago a parcel came to our door addressed to someone else... it looked like a christmas present and it wasn't supposed to be for us so there was a phone number on the back of it and I phoned it and said that they had the number wrong and would they tell me the right address and I would send it there. They lady seemed really happy that I had phoned. So I took the present up to the house up the street.
The next day the people up the road came down and said thank you. I said it wasn't that much trouble. I would hope someone would do it for me one day.
Well tonight there was a knock on the door. The people up the road brought a bottle of wine and a card to me. This is what it said "Thank you so much for going to the trouble of phoning me, to inform me that I had put the wrong number on my parcel. There are not many people that would of gone to theis trouble"
OMG I had tears coming down my face because it was so thoughtful and I had never in my wildest dreams thought that she would do that.
Thought I would share that with you all. There are some really nice people in this world. I didn't expect that she would send a present in my wildest dreams as it was just a walk up the street to deliver not that it was out of my way ya know.
So there you are some nice people in this world.
Anyway as this is he second post for tonight I will get going he he he
The boys slept until 8am this morning and that is a miracle for them that is for sure.
Haven't been on my bike yet but we were thinking when the boys were in bed tonight we might go for an evening ride just me and hubby while mum looks after them.
Went to Centreplace today for lunch and I had sushi! It was really yummy and I got to be out with the family for lunch and I could still eat something with them and it wasn't bad.
Went to the Warehouse in town and got the boys some new shirts and shorts for summer as there were sales on. Also got a bike rack for up on the wall of the garage so that our big bikes weren't in the middle of the garage he he, and also brought the boys bells for their bikes as we had them and they didn't he he he. It feels really great to have bikes... riding as a family has ALWAYS ALWAYS been a dream of mine and I am finally feeling like I am getting to be the foxy mum for my kids to be proud of me.
I don't want to go backwards and not keep on losing this weight and I know it is hard work but I am not going to go back to feeling like I don't want to do anything or go anywhere because I am too tired it is so not worth it. It is going to take me 3 to 4 years to get there and I was working out how much it is going to cost me at WW and the gym but it is worth it in the end isn't it?? It will cost $882 dollars in WW fees a year that means it will be $3,528 for 4 years and then the gym for 4 years is $2,600 so all up it will be $6, 128. OUCH but it would be worth it to feel happier and healthier than I am now. Now that I have made myself depressed he he he. Well it is only 3 more years to go and I have been on it for a year already he he he so that is 1 less year woohooo.
I have to get back on this bike but the weather today was soooo hot!!! I wish it would get a little less hot before we go for a bike ride tonight as I want to do this today!!! I want to!!!
Anyway enough babbling for me. I hope everyone comes back to posting soon as I am getting restless.
Love ya all
Christmas day was really good. My little boys loved it and loved their scooters and all the presents they got. I can't believe how many they got. Since we brought the 3 bedroom tent for Xmas we didn't really get much for each other except I brought hubby two shirts and he brought me (laughing while I say this) a Karoke DVD and a microphone he he he I was laughing so much and later on when we tried to make it work the microphone wouldn't work on any of the DVD's or video players grrrrr so hubby thinks that it is a dud ohhhh well.
I have a little moan about Xmas. Brother in law came over with hubbys mum and I was a little worried it was going to be like all the other christmas days where hubby, my mum and I end up doing all the work and they sit on their backsides and then after lunch go to sleep while we tidy up.... I would not have been happy at all if that happened that is for sure but it didn't so that was nice. But my brother in law didn't bring any presents what so ever!!! NONE. Hubby said 2 weeks ago that he would go out and get the presents for him and he said no he would get them later and so did his mother ask him and no he said he would manage later but NO he didn't... I was quite annoyed really. I don't mind that he didn't get us anything but he didn't get anything for the kids (he has got money he said he had a few thousand in the bank so it wasn't like he couldn't afford it) I always knew he was cheap but didn't think he was that cheap until xmas day that is for sure.
Got addicted to the game sudoku too OMG I am not usually a puzzle person but learnt how to play it on Xmas day and that was the end of that he he he.
Got up at 9.30am this morning and the boys got up at 8.45 it was great that they slept in for a change we realllllllly needed it.
Had a huge talk with hubby about the bike thing. My mother in law brought us all a helmet for xmas so we decided with boxing day sales it would be good to go and check out how much they are. So we went to KMart to see what we would see (without the kids he he he) WoW the amount of people out and we FOUND THE BIKES WE FOUND THEM WE FOUND THEM and brought TWO he he he he.
I know, I know, I know I said I wasn't going to get our bikes until I had lost 20 kilos more... I think I was saying that because I was scared I was going to break the damn thing if I got on it. I am so fearful of my weight making me look like an elephant that I have been putting it off. I mean you don't often see big people on bikes and I don't want to be harrassed by hoodlems while driving past as it is a huge fear of mine.
There was so many people there that trying to get a price for hubby's bike was a nightmare and so when we finally got up to the checkout they said how much were we told and I said I wasn't sure even though I thought the guy said around $250 and their records said it could be $299 and then the supervisor came over and put in $220 ARGGHHHH I couldn't believe it.. $70 cheaper. I think with the huge line behind us they just didn't have the time to look he he he so we got it extra cheaper he he he.
So when we got back with out bikes hubby put mine together. We set up the kids and went for a bike ride to get milk from the dairy and thought we would go and visit Kris on the way home. On the way to the dairy I had to stop for our 4 year old and I found that I was smiling so hard my cheeks were sore he he he and when I looked up at this four wheel drive that was going past there was a woman waving like anything. It was one of the ladies from Weight Watchers (she is bigger than me and a couple of weeks ago asked how I had lost 20 kilos etc and I think with me being big as well it gave her hope or something). So with her waving her hubby was looking at her as if to say "what on earth are you doing?" as she was laughing (in a nice way).
We went to Kris's place and I think maybe it might have been me, but she wasn't her normal self when we visited.... it felt like we had interrupted something so we stayed for a little while and then rode back home.
Boy was my backside sore when I got back he he he.
We got back home and put up the tent in the back yard and organised the BBQ and started the brazier. Hubby's mum phoned and said since we didn't eat the dessert on Xmas day that they were coming over to have dessert with us he he he. So I said we were camping and if she wanted she could come over for left overs on the BBQ and Corbin phoned her back and said bring some marshmellows so we could roast them on the BBQ. The funny thing was was that she had never ever done that before. She had never had marshmellows on the BBQ he he he.
Anyway hubby and I were up in front of the brazier for a couple of hours chatting and then we went to bed (in the tent with the kids too he he he). It really felt like we were camping he he he.
I am going to do this for me! I was in tears in the car yesterday when my hubby said "You know I am very proud of what you have achieved this year with your weight loss" OMG I have been wanting to hear someone say that to me and I just couldn't hold back the tears because deep down I am proud of myself too. I know that I haven't lost as much as I wanted to this year when I started out but I LOST 22 kilos!! I lost it and nothing will beat that! So here I go for another 22 kilos in 2006. If I aim for the same amount then hey I know I can achieve it if I achieved it this year.
I hope you are all having a great Xmas! I am back on routine now! A new year is ahead of me! And nothing is going to stop me.
Love ya all
Wednesday, 21 December 2005
Nothing much happened today but food was ok and it is one day closer to a holiday.
Picked up Corbin at 12.30 today and found out what class he would be in next year! It was good to know where he will be next year that is for sure. He is going to be with a couple of really nice boys that are in his class this year and some girls and I am happy about that. I am a little sad that he won't be in the same class as Kris's daughter but we are still going to see each other at the gym and friends etc so it will be interesting.
I still have some food shopping to do to have everything ready for Christmas lunch but most of the other things are done now.
I got a really nice present from Tania today.... she brought over while I was out a big huge parcel with plates, cups, measuring spoons and cups, mixing bowls, knifes, forks, spoons, tea towels, dishwashing brush... all wrapped up nicely for us for christmas for our camping trips.. It was so thoughtful that I cried a little that she thought about me.
I still don't know what else I need for camping! So I might have to make a list so if anyone knows of some great things for camping please please tell me. I have the beds sorted and the cutlery and the chairs and a table.... outside games and a light and torches and sleeping bags. NOT too sure what other things are great for camping.
Anyway I am back on track my friends!!! I am all go!!! lets go into this new year losing some more weight.
LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH
Tuesday, 20 December 2005
Ok yep I have not said that in such a long time but it was a really fast day and spent toooooo much money.
Went to the gym for the bling bling final class and it was the best workout I have done in my whole time at the gym.
Everyone came dressed up with bling bling. The four trainers took the class took the class together... it was fantastic. The only guy trainer came dressed up in a Santa outfit and his partner who is another trainer came in her PJ's it was so funny. I really can't understand how he managed to do the class being so hot etc and sweating like a pig but hey. I sweated so much in this class that my whole head of hair was soaking wet! I have never never never ever had my hair that wet before in a class. I pushed myself to the limit and felt really good about it! It felt like I was finally doing this! I was finally feeling like an exercise machine he he he.
OOps before the class Kris and I gave our three trainers that we get on with a bottle of wine each and some shortbread biscuits... like Kris I love giving presents even more than receiving presents.
So that wasn't it with the day. I was so exhausted I went up and had a shower when I got home and rested on the bed to read a book until my mum woke up so we could go shopping and I fell asleep! he he he I have never in my entire life slept like that during the day unless I wasn't feeling well as I always feel like I am sleeping my life away. So I slept from 11am till 2pm and then got ready to pick up Corbin from school. While I was at school picking him up I got talking to Oliver's mum and dad and they were saying that they were going camping and we were having so much fun talking and I told them about the fact that this afternoon we were going to buy our tent and it was the same one as theirs they were saying. Oliver's mum said that she can never find anyone to come camping with them as her friends don't like camping so we are going to organise to go camping together with two families soon. Wow that would be so cool. I have always wanted to do the family camping stuff.
So mum, corbin and I went to get our tent. It fits 14 people apparently ha ha ha ha... three bedrooms and an awning. We brought stretcher beds for the two boys and a queen air bed on legs for us. It was fantastic!!! I felt like finally we are going to go on a holiday.
We got a huge (I MEAN HUGE) ham with buying the tent as well and so now we have 2 huge hams for xmas OMG... so many ham sammies for us now he he he.
Then when we finally got home I had to go into Weight Watchers. I had geared myself up for a big huge gain because I had so many Xmas parties this week and also had been upset with my little loss last week that I didn't have my heart in it. BUT>>>>>>>>>>>> I lost 1.1 kilos CAN YOU BELIEVE IT... I MEAN CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!! I didn't try this week and I lost... I really tried and I didn't lose that much... yes I know it could mean that I am two weeks off with everything but hey... I have 1.1 to go until I reach the 120's
Wohooo 120's, 120's, 120's Wohooooo
So when I reach 110's then that is when I will get my bicycle!! Come on bicycle come on come on!!!
Then it will be 30 kilos before I get to under 100's!!!! OMG it cannot come fast enough to be able to fit in smaller clothes.
So yes today was fantastic.!!!!
Monday, 19 December 2005
How do I start to tell about my day.
I met Kris at the gym... so glad that she got a space for her son as it isn't the same without her there.
Was supposed to spend the whole hour at our kickboxing class and we went in there and we both like the back because we are bigger than the others and don't really like being in front. Well the class was so packed and I was getting more and more pissed off by the minute because when they came in (LATE I might add) they would come to the back and the room is so small and usually 3 across the room is enough but there was 5 of us (instead of those skinny mini's going to the front) and I was finding it hard to concentrate and my patience was just getting to be too much so that after 35 minutes I was so angry I picked up my things and walked out and did 10 minutes on the bike and then worked on my new program of arms and legs.
OMG it is 4.30 and I am still sore from the gym. The new arm and leg exercises she has me doing is more repetitions but not more in the weight... I felt like I really worked out but I feel like a cold is coming on... or lack of sleep or feeling stressed but my whole body feels like SOOO heavy and I feel moody.
I cannot wait till next year happens... where there is no more xmas and there is not more fear of food.
Been having a heart to heart with hubby and my mum and I am not going to get my bike for Christmas..... seems like everyone is getting one this year and I want to feel like I have worked for it so it is going to be a challenge for me instead. I am going to get a bike when I have lost 40 kilo's.... I have enough exercise at the moment anyway with the gym and walking so I am going to loose the 40 kilos and then I will feel better being on a bike anyway. So even though the mother in law has already brought the bike helmet for me for xmas it will have to wait till I have lost the 40 kilos before I get the bike. So only another 18 kilos to go ARGGHHHHH.
Went out shopping this afternoon with my mum and Quinn (and believe me I would have given him away this afternoon that is for sure) and we are looking at family tents. We have found one that has three rooms and we are thinking about getting this for xmas. I would be great to go out as a family and have family holidays. I love going away together and I didn't get to do the camping thing with my parents when I was younger as they were older parents and so was chatting to hubby on the phone and this will give us a chance to get out and about with the kids and it isn't that expensive either soooo woohooo.... we might go away at the end of January somewhere when other people have gone back to work.
I miss Kris!! I thought I would say.... seems like we aren't as friendly anymore or something is wrong lately. I hope all is ok with us!
Anyway on that note I am going now.
Sunday, 18 December 2005
I was soooo upset with all the work I had done last week and only losing 100 grams and then I blew it this week and I am a complete and utter NONG because if I would have kept on going the way I was going then I would lose weight this Tuesday coming. I didn't want to go to my last weigh in a gain weight.
I have had a couple of new people posting comments and it made me realise yes I am doing this for myself but there are people out there that want to read my diary to keep them motivated too... like I wanted when I first started and I was reading Karen's and Leenie's and the motivation they gave me was fantastic.
Thank you to the new comers for reading. I urge you to take the plunge and start writing your own diary it is a help!! The friends you make are fantastic!!
I have 57 kilos more to lose and so I better get myself back on track!
I do think that I am going to wade out the christmas period and on the 26th of December I am starting again. I am sick of fighting through the christmas dinners etc with worry so I am going to relax BUT not too much just not going to worry about the weight.
To tell you the truth after 11 months of being on a diet I am just needing a little break!
Did the grocery shopping today and went for a lovely walk around the block (about 35 minutes) tonight with hubby and it was exhilerating because we got to do exercise together and got to talk as well. We are going to try and do that every night since my mum is there to look after the boys when they go to sleep. Woohooo that is definatly a postive for having your mother living with you he he.
I have been trying to read my magazines for so so long... well actually catch up with all my magazine I brought but haven't had the time to read with the kids he he.
We wrapped all our presents last night and I started at 7.30 and was still going at 12.15 OMG OMG I hate wrapping presents with such a passion. But at least it is finished now and there is no more of it he he he.
Went out on Friday night with my work mates for a farewell of one of my bosses as they sold the business but one of them is staying on as Manager. It was a great night we started off at 5.30 and then around 10.30 I had to go and get my mum from Bingo and then picked up the hubby and went back out to the work get together as there was a band there and we just danced and danced and danced until 2am... it was fantastic.
Me and one of the girls were dancing with my hubby and he decided to go to the loo and while he was gone these three guys came and started dancing with us. It is true I reakon... that guys dance with girls that seem to be enjoying themselves so much.
I was so enjoying the dancing it has been 2 times in one week that I have been out to a function dancing and enjoyed myself totally. I wouldn't mind going to a dance class and learning salsa or ceroc dancing... I reakon that would be so much fun.
My boss (the one that is staying as manager) asked me out to her place for Christmas Eve to a party she is having... OMG I felt so priviledged because she is a party girl and she must like me or she wouldn't have invited me. She didn't invite all the girls that work with us, so that made me feel really good. Plus one of the ladies I go out with on Monday night was there as a parent to this work farewell and she has invited me and hubby to her place for New Year's eve and we accepted as they only live down the road and it would be fantastic to get together with some new people.
Friday night made me realise that hubby and I should get out more often and enjoy things. We tend to stay home at night or work and we have to get out and enjoy each others company more often and with other parents too.
Anyway I am gone for now.. Check ya later
Thursday, 15 December 2005
I lost 100grams on Tuesday and needless to say I was reallllly dissapointed. I really tried hard and went to the gym seven times and really tried with the food. I know all the muscle things and that it will show up next week PHEWWWWYYYY.
I was so angry that I went home and had a heart to heart with hubby then went out to get Kris for a night out that the school mums organised.
Poor Kris... she got in the car and I said "right now (with a smile on my face) I don't don't want to talk about pointing or Weight Watchers or anything related tonight" she just looked at me he he and she didn't get the point he he he so asked me what was up and then I burst out in tears before going in for the get together and felt really bad because I just was so upset and angry and to tell you the truth in the last couple of weeks getting tired of thinking of only food and diet's and I just want to be able to have time with friends and family and not constantly talk about being good or on the diet... So sorry Kris for being a slobbering mess on ya and thanks for listening.
I have asked Kris if when we are at the gym etc that we could talk about other things as it is getting me quite upset.
I am really proud of Kris and really happy for her as she has got herself back on track and almost to her 30 kilos but I feel upset about it all.
It isn't because I am upset with her because she deserves the losses etc as she is working hard, but because I was on a good winning streak with loosing weight and it was nice for a change that we were close in something.
(Let me explain) I think because she is 30 kilos lighter than me having the fact that we had both lost the same amount comforting ya know.... like I wasn't a big blimp after all or something and it has made my thinking change since there is a big gap between us now (because Kris has been reallly working her butt off.
I have been trying my hardest to think of a way to say this online because she reads my journal without it somehow coming out the wrong way and so I have finally realised that this journal is my journal and I have to write what I am thinking down no matter what or it isn't benefitting me and this journal is supposed to be for me.
I have to make it clear I am not a bitch and I am really happy for my friend but deep down I am feeling angry with myself for not keeping myself on track and not doing what I know is right.
I started tracking in the new Weight Watchers tracking book today and it is going to work!! It is going to work.. I know that I shouldn't be hard on myself as I have lost 100grams but I wanted to lose a kilo!!
I want to get under the 130's I want to be in the 120's....
I want to be in the 120's... please help me everyone!!! I need so much support lately.... I know I have been slack in the support for you guys and I promise after the holiday's I am going to get you guys and I am going to kick your backsides until you lose the weight. He He He.
Anyway enough rambling for me...
Love ya all
Tuesday, 13 December 2005
Went out to my Xmas party for work on Saturday night and it was a FANTASTIC night. I danced so much that I felt like a tap he he he sweating it off but it was fantastic to dance and get the exercise. I have exercised..... Last Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday and today... so I feel like I have been good. I can't say I have pointed but I haven't had anything that I wouldn't be proud of that is for sure.
Did a class with Kris today at the gym. We don't usually do a Tuesday class but it was fun. I went on the bike for 20 minutes and then Kris said let's do the class.... so we did. I really enjoyed the class but for some reason I just couldn't stop laughing. It hurt he he he and there were more in the class that you had to think about with co-ordination etc but I REALLY enjoyed it and felt like I was really doing well.
My thighs and tummy are sore because of all the sit ups and leg lifts etc ARGGGHHH but it was sooo cool.
Got food posioning from the food on Saturday night and so did 7 other work mates grrrr but when we had phoned them to tell them they were excellent they bagged up all the food and called the Health Dept themselves and said that if any of us have to go to the doctors they will pay for it and assured us that they would never let that happen again. So I was really proud that a business was really sorting it out instead of sweeping it under the carpet... I will go back there again because they are a really reputable company and the food that we think that was off was sourced from outside and not cooked there so that is good.
I went to the gym on Sunday and on Monday even though my tummy was SOOO not right. I was not going to let it beat me. I have finally gotten my mojo back and it was not going to make me go off the rails again.
I have had my brother in law here for the weekend because he has just gotten out of hospital after his motor bike accident.
It is nice that he feels comfortable to come and stay with us when he needs help but OMG it is exhausting..... and only because he can't do anything for himself and also we are feeding him as well... now I know I am going to sound like a mean bitch but he is the sort of person that sponge's a lot and doesn't offer and with the fact that I am not getting paid for a month at work around Christmas (because I don't have holiday's and the new bosses are paying fortnightly now instead of weekly) that having to feed another mouth is really putting a tole on us at the moment. It feels like I am running around after him and my mother and my boys as well and I feel totally exhausted.
Going to my weigh in tonight and I am nervous about it. I just want to make it under the 130's... and I am yoyoing so much it is frustrating me. I have 2.3 to go now..... OHHHHH I wish there was a magic pill to help me and I know realistically there isn't a magic pill but it is frustrating and I know that you all know how I am feeling...
Pray for me!!!
Afterwards I am going out with my son's school mum's (Kris is coming too wohooo) and so I won't be updating until quite late on the result OMG OMG
I hope I lose!!
Love ya all
Thursday, 8 December 2005
OMG my day.
I started work at 7.30 this morning and I haven't stopped until now 11pm ARGHHHHH.
My day has been one thing after another.
But I was inspired by last night with the Liz my personal trainer and then going to the kick boxing that I thought "I have this momentum going I am not going to stop" so I went back to the gym tonight. I thought I couldn't fit it in tonight as I had to take Corbin swimming and then cook dinner and also I had to be at a friends by 7.30pm and I also had to fit in eating in all that. But I decided NOOOOO I was going to make sure I got my exercise in today so I went at 6.30 and got back home at 7.30 and ate dinner and then went to my friends house to do the wedding invitations for our client. So I got there about 8pm.... all sweaty he he he and still in my gym clothes but hey I made it there so there shouldn't have been any complaints he he.
I just feel good for going. There weren't too many people there but I really concentrated on remembering the things Liz taught me yesterday and I went for it. OMG my arms were so sore this morning from last nights gym and they are even worse now from pushing it but I feel fantastic and I am glad that I went. It was also a chance to have some ME time without the kids and hubby and work etc and I could just think about what I was going to do and concentrate on it.
So all in all the exercise has been pretty good this week. The food has been good too. I have been chosing right etc.
I got a compliment this morning. When I went to take Corbin into school I had to go to the school office to take his lunch order in for next weeks pizza lunch for the PTA and I opened the door and the secretary there said "OH MY GOD" in this loud voice.
I looked behind me thinking maybe I had done something to the door or someone was doing something they shouldn't be outside. But she was saying OH MY GOD to me as she hadn't seen me since August.
She said that I have lost so much weight and that I am looking FAB... he he he I went all red and wanted to run out the door as one of the ladies from Corbin's class was there just smiling at me and she can be a little stuck up some times.
But she said that she hasn't seen me for a while and she was stunned and also loved the new hair cut he he he. So that put me on a high for the day as she had seen me when I had first started as we started at Weight Watchers the same time but she gave up after a couple of weeks as she didn't think it was working for her.
So all in all I am feeling quite fab about getting my MOJO back. I thought it would take a lot longer than that.
My weekend is just going to be a nightmare as we have sooooo many things on the go this weekend I think it is going to be another weekend where I am exhausted and need to go to work for a break. I can't wait till Xmas is over and we can just relax and enjoy life again.
I want to also get back into a nice routine with the gym again so that I don't have to think about when I am going... I will just know that I am going on certain days and that is that.
Anyway guys thanks for reading.
Love ya all
Wednesday, 7 December 2005
I couldn't get myself up and going and I felt like I had lost it forever. I was sick of hearing everyone else had their mojo and I had lost mine. I wasn't upset that they had gotten theirs if you know what I mean just that I couldn't find mine.
OMG I was starting to think that life just couldn't get back to normal.
Did I tell you that I saw my Personal Trainer (Liz) on Monday and had a really big heart to heart about what I was thinking.
So she made another appointment with me for today (which was supposed to be only 1/2 and hour) but turned out to be an hour. She worked me so hard and got me on the new treadmills......OMG they look like something out of the space age he he he. She went through a LOT of arm exercises and asked me what I wanted to achieve.
I told her I want to get back to ME. That I am bored with my exercise. She asked me what I wanted to achieve. I said I wanted to work on my upper arms my thighs and of course my tummy. I said I know that the cardio is going to get rid of the tummy etc but I don't want to do just cardio as I dont feel I am achieving and so she showed me some new exercises on the swiss ball with weights and made me really work out for an hour.
I enjoyed it so much. I ENJOYED IT SOOOO MUCH. I have been considering having a session with her every month so that I can feel revived like that again. Talked to hubby and if I achieve weight loss in the next month then I can book with her for the next month so that it keeps me motivated so that I can have sessions with Liz.
So anyway I felt good after that session at 3.30 this afternoon then..... Kris asked me to go tonight at 6pm for a workout ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH am I a sucker or what??? I went and we did a kickboxing class. It hurt... it hurts....arghhhh I am so sore I am scared to move my eyelids he he he.
So now I am sitting here so sore and thinking... I don't know where I would be now without the support you all give me. I rant and rave and moan and bitch but you always come back and you are always supportive.
Thanks Kris for phoning me every single Tuesday night to see how I went with Weight Watchers and for being there tonight to get me back on things.
I have a certain couple of friends that I feel just bring me down and are always negative and NEVER listen here in my town (not you Kris) and I have to think if I want to have them in my life anymore. My husband says that I seem to attract people with problems or people that tell me how I should feel and never ever listen to a word I say, and that I should be thinking about me and not what everyone else says. I agree with him! I am not going to let these people rule me anymore... I am just not.
I feel exhausted but exhilarated at the same time tonight. I honestly thought it was going to take weeks for me to get this feeling back.
I overdid the exercise and I know that but for me to get my mojo back I DON'T CARE he he
I forgot to mention last night that my mum brought hubby and I a George Forman grill and for the last two nights we have had dinner made on it OMG soooooo fast and sooooo yummy. I just can't get enough he he
OK... going to have a long bath now he he he
LOVE YOU ALL VERY VERY VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT
Tuesday, 6 December 2005
I hate doing these depressing posts.
I feel like I have lost ME... I feel like I am doing everything for everyone else and worrying about everyone else's problems and it is getting me down. I am tired of being the listener and not having people listen to me! And the thing is is that if someone comes to me and say what's up and they want to listen I don't have any energy to explain to them at the moment either ya know.
I know this blog is supposed to be about weight loss... but after a gain of 400grams tonight I am pissed!! I am not pissed because I gained because I deserve every single gram of that... I am pissed because after 3 weeks I am still in the same F*(**n place (sorry for the swearing). I can't seem to get myself back into it. I don't know if it was maybe because the holiday made me realise how much fun and less worrying it is not fretting about how much I am eating every single minute of the day.... or maybe because over there I didn't have to feel like I have to prop myself up anymore I could just be relaxed and free.
I went back to the gym yesterday and it was fantastic and then I had a meeting with my gym instructor and she seems to think I have to get back to doing this for me and focussing on me. I do realise that I have to be doing that but I don't know how to do that.
I have another meeting with her tomorrow for her to give me a program to get me in shape for the 'Relay for Life'. To hopefully get me back on track again.
I don't know what to do... I know all the reasons why I should be back on track! I do know all the things I should be doing and it isn't that I don't want to get this weight off but I don't have anything to aim for and for me aiming for weight loss amount isn't doing it for me. I had the challenge of losing it before my brother in law came back from overseas but that didn't pan out because he didn't even notice.
I just feel empty! anyway... please accept my apologies for not replying to your blogs lately but it isn't because I am not reading them ALL just that I cannot offer comments in the mood I have been in... if that makes sense.
M you asked me for the recipe for the biscuits. The recipe below was the one that stayed together really nice and was yummy too he he he... but not a Weight Watcher one that is for sure.
3 cups Flour
1/4 tsp Salt
3/4 tsp Baking Soda
2 tsp Ground Ginger
1 tsp Cinnamon
1/4 tsp Ground Cloves
1/2 cup Butter
1/2 cup White Sugar
2/3 cup Molasses
Sift together the flour, salt, baking soda and spices.
Cream butter and sugar til light and fluffy.
Add egg and molasses and beat til combined.
Gradually add flour mix
Chill for 2 hours
Preheat to 350 degrees frarenheit
Roll out dough on lightly floured surface
Bake for 8-10 minutes
Sunday, 4 December 2005
The morning started off today with a great day sitting on the porch outside under the umbrella reading my book that I brought from Melbourne called When in Rome by Penelope Green. I don't know if I have mentioned in here before but my dream place to visit is Venice (Italy) I want to go to Italy in general... the culture the food the atmosphere just makes the hair on my skin stand up. I love reading about Italy and getting in to the whole feeling... it is hard to explain on here but reading this book brings the same feelings back.
Anywayyyyyyy my three wonderful boys decided that they would read their books out with me too...he he he Quinn(4 year old) decided that he would go and get one of my other books and pretend to read it and Corbin (6 year old) was reading (lips moving he he he) to one of his own books and hubby was reading the Listener it was bliss and they were quiet.
My friends turned up 11.30 and we got in to having lunch and then cut out the biscuits as you can see in the pictures below.
Now the biscuits you see here.... are not the only ones there is about 4 more trays after these he he he. They took half home with them and we kept half it was fantastic to get together with all the kids and us parents.
After we did the biscuits we went and had photos done with Santa and the boys weren't worried about him at all and sat on his knee and told him what they wanted for Xmas. It was really good to see them so happy and relaxed around Santa.... because some of the kids before us were frightened of him he he
Then after all that he he we went to the Salvation Army Christmas Carols at the Hamilton Garden lake it was a really great time and the boys loved the singing. I also took a photo there he he... OMG I know I am addicted to this camera he he.
Anyway gotta go... hubby is complaining that I have been on here too long.. I will put some photos on here of the concert tomorrow.... it is 10.45 and he wants me to pack up and go to bed he he he
Saturday, 3 December 2005
Went early to get groceries today Wohooo because I hate going when there is a lot of people.
Corbin decided to use the children's first cook book this morning for breakfast and read the recipe for pancakes. I was really proud of him. He is only 6 years old and is getting into cooking... woohooo for us so that we don't have to always cook he he he.
My mother in law came over and took the boys from 1pm till 5pm and that was a welcome break today. I wanted to get the Christmas tree and decorations up so I have attached a photo of the christmas tree... woohooo all done until I have to take the thing down.
Here is a photo of hubby dressing up for the Christmas party at the kids creche (my work as well he he).
Corbin said to me while I was out there taking photos "Mum why is Dad dressed up as Santa" (OMG at 6 years of age) I said to him "Don't tell the other kids because Dad is helping out Santa as he is really busy getting the toys etc ready for Christmas and your Dad is helping him out" He said "Ok mum I won't tell anyone" I think he was quite proud he he he.
When the boys got home today we had all their decorations and tree set up so they could do their own tree and put it in the playroom. I can't forget what Corbin's face was like when he came into the lounge and saw the christmas tree up and he was laughing like he was sooooo excited.
So below is the boys Xmas tree and they had so much fun doing it. I was also getting a little bit creative too with taking photos of our tree... I have put them in as well if you want to see.
He he he he I realllllly love my new camera. Now I have to find a photography class that I can take to learn heaps and heaps..
We are having a tree trimming get together with hubby's best man at our wedding and his family tomorrow. They have two kids and we are going to make biscuits for the xmas tree and decorate them as well. Then going to the christmas carols at night time. It is going to be fun. We haven't seen them in a while as we have all been really busy lately. So hopefully the day will be bright and shiny and we all have fun and the boys love their first christmas carol evening.
Ok... now for a confession. I have not been on plan and I have not been doing really well with the weight loss and still can't get back on track. I want to but I haven't sooooooooo I will just have to sort myself out. I am going back to the gym on Monday and my trainer is supposed to be ringing me to tell me a time to meet.
I am going to get myself into shape for the Relay for life if it kills me. I have already got 4 sponsors woohoooo. I want to make as much as I can for the cancer patients as it would be like doing it for my Dad... anyway I don't want to get soppy.
Back to it on Monday ladies!!! I will be back to it on Monday!!! Have to get my A into G.
Thursday, 1 December 2005
I got back to it today. I made sure I was drinking my water and just doing it. I must admit though I have been thinking about food too much today.... it is a little off putting.
Work is so hectic with all the xmas things and the fundraising for the Relay for Life (for cancer).
I don't know if I told you all before but I am doing the Relay for Life next year in March. It is where they walk for 24 hours and get sponsers so that we raise money for cancer patients and their families.
I am doing it! I have paid my fee to be in it now I just have to raise money. We are part of a team and we have a weekend where we walk for 24 hours as a team (taking turns). I have one sponser already and he has given me $10 so that feels absolutly wonderful that he has faith in me and is sponsoring me. The funny thing is is that it is BLONDE'S ex husband that sponsored me.
I had a phone call from my gym instructor yesterday to ask me where the hell I have been. It felt great that she cared enough to phone and find out what was up and if I was getting back on track.
So I had a good long talk with her and I am getting back on track. I have asked her to help me train for this 'Relay for Life' so she is going to work out a program for me to get me motivated and get me up and running for this challenge.
I am also working on my little project I mentioned the other day but I am not going to say what it is just yet as I want to do this first then mention it. It is keeping me busy that is for sure.
I also think that this time of the year is what is making me feel like I can't be bothered and I have lost my mojo.... I miss my Dad. He really loved Christmas and since he died I think that love for Christmas died for me.
I have been really trying this Christmas to do more. I have got most of the presents done except for stocking fillers and I have been working on Xmas Cards and I have the table decorations all sorted and feel like I am on top of that.
Friends are coming around on Sunday to do a Tree Trimming party. We were supposed to do this last year but couldn't. It is where both families make christmas biscuits to hang on the Xmas tree. We make it, cook it, paint it and hang it. Plus lunch in the middle of all that. We are also going to the Christmas Carols that night too. So the whole Sunday is going to be quite Christmasy and full on. It has been a long time and I hope I don't get too emotional as I haven't let myself get Christmasy in years as it brings back too many memories. But I know my Dad wouldn't want me to be like this at Christmas anymore.
Anyway that is me for now.
Will try and get on tomorrow night to update but the Creche has the children's xmas party and it is going to be a hoot... My hubby is going to be the Santa... he he he a skinny santa is soooo funny.
Love ya all