I am feeling so motivated today.... I am feeling motivated because finally I feel like I am being true to myself and saying everything that is on my mind in my blog!!!
I feel motivated because I met some wonderful people down in Wellington that know exactly what I am going through and are an amazing motivation for me to keep going.
Rachel thank you for the emails today and for listening I really appreciated it and it has made me think of things in a different way you are truly an amazing and funny lady. I don't have enough laughs in my day and I can imagine that if you lived here I would have such a great six pack (if girls have them he he he) because of all the laughing we would do.
I found this on an email sent to me today and thought I would put it up for everyone to read.... it is so simple but sometimes we forget to put ourselves first:
Put Yourself First — you can't lose weight for someone else; you have to own your goals. After all, you're the one out there sweating your butt off, right? Finding the right motivation is all about getting real with yourself. Jillian Michaels
Sometimes I think that motivation is not all you need though... you need to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF because without that you won't achieve anything.
Ok so I treated today as my first day losing weight... because I have gone back to my bad habits since the holiday and I was liking the fact of not worrying about food... so today I started with getting back to drinking water. I had a glass of water with every meal...
Food today:
Breakfast
2 Sandwich bread
Peanut Butter (slither not much)
Morning Tea
Carrot Sticks
Wasabi Peas
Lunch
Left over Rogan Josh (not a lot)
Rice
Nectarine
Afternoon Tea
Yoghurt
Dinner
Roast Beef
Carrots
Beans
Silverbeat
Potatoes
(I am going to try and have one potatoe a week and that is it... sort of like an experiment)
I not happy with my food today but I wanted to concentrate on getting the water sorted today instead of being overly worried about the food but still being good.... so this is what my experiment will be today.
Went back to work after 16 days off and people actually missed me. I phoned one of my creches I do the accounts for and the Manager said "OMG thank God you are back... you don't know how much I missed ya" now I can tell you this lady scares the hell out of me because she is sooo straight to the point sort of person and she was the last person that I would have thought that would have missed me....
But I was in the newspaper with my photo today and I was sooo sooo sooo proud he he he. My mother in law even phoned to say she saw me as well. Woohoooo ME!
I also got a phone call and this lady on the other end said "I hear you are our accounts person" and I said "who are you?" and they said "### creche in Morrinsville" I said sorry but I don't know what you are on about and she said that my boss in Auckland knows all about it and sure enough I phoned Auckland and was told there that I have a new creche OMG OMG it was nice to find out through someone else that I had a creche that had started about a week ago with us. I was told that it could be happening but didn't think it would be till start of next year OMG what a Mickey Mouse bunch I work for... how could they take on another creche without giving me the heads up or the details... and all my boss could say was "OOps forgot to tell you about that" OMG I know I don't work in the same city but fFSake.... yep yep Mickey Mouse outfit.. so my day started off interestingly.
I haven't heard from Kris at all today. Saw her dropping off her kids this morning in the rain and waved to her but she didn't even wave back and looked miserable...I can't say I wasn't being friendly, as I am an adult and I don't like losing friends. Even though I don't want to be close friends anymore with her I don't want to totally avoid her either as our kids go to the same school and we both go to the same gym.
I am getting quite tired now and I have to go to the gym at 6am in the morning ARGGHHHHH back to getting up early again ;-)
Love ya all
CM
Showing posts with label Waikato Times. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Waikato Times. Show all posts
Monday, 16 October 2006
Saturday, 14 October 2006
Waikato Times - Monday 16th October 06
He he he got the photo from Crusher this morning which had the photo below attached and that is the one going in the Waikato Times on Monday.
My face is soooo funny... I am looking at Dee (with the ball) and saying to her "I am on your team hun and my foot is in the goal so we can get one" and she looks at me and thinks OMG so you are he he he he she was trying to find someone behind me to give the ball to to get a goal... it was sooooo funny.
Wow I am quite happy with this photo apart from the look on my face but it doesn't make me feel big at all. It was quite a nice change to play our version of netball and boy was I sweating afterwards.
So on Monday after the artical comes out I will tell you what they had written about us...
Today was a good day we slept in till about 8.30 had breakfast and then went to the library to get some books and then picked up hubby's mum and went for about a 4km walk around the river... crossing over 2 bridges and going up hills and had a great time. The weather was fantastic even though before we left it looked like we might have gotten wet.... but we didn't woohoo.
I have been busy making Christmas cards in the last week..... I feel crafty and have been so enjoying making them. It is like me time...
Ok that is me for the day... I am off to the gym tomorrow morning with Debbie... it is going to be so much fun she is looking forward to it as well she said today. I managed to get her a week free at the gym (because she is the one doing the deal with Crusher to do LEAN only) but wants to now join the gym so she can come more often with me. It is going to be hard work I can tell but I am up for it!!
I need to get some more cardio...
I want to be under 100 kilos this time next year!! I need to get off my backside and stop with all the crap food.
I can't seem to stop with the crap food since the holiday... I am happy eating it and I am tired of it too... so as from today I have been good and not eating anything I shouldn't.
I am going back to tracking tomorrow!!! Need to sort myself out. So I know that I will gain in the next WW meeting but hey that is life "as long as I get back on to it now".
I have been back at WW properly for the last 6 weeks but haven't been talking about it much because to be quite honest I have not wanted Kris to go back to the meeting...
My WW leaders have been wonderful and are willing to work with me with my food and some new ideas so I am going to take them up on it and I am going to get under 100 kilos by next year!!!
I should start a challenge 20 kilos in a year!!! that is just under 400 grams a week!! I think I can do that what do you think!! DOUBLE DIGITS by next Xmas!!!
Hmmmmmm scary
Love ya all going to go and do some reading now.
Love CM
Friday, 13 October 2006
Back on Blogger
Ok so I have been updating on blogger and diaryland for ever that is for sure and now I think I have had enough of it and I want to be able to password again as I want to be free to write everything I am feeling and for it to be anonymous for people that I don't want to read anymore...
So the bitch session is going to start!!!
I moved from blogger to diaryland because of the fact that I couldn't say what I wanted about my days.... without it feeling like I had to sensor things!! I know after my week in Wellington that at least two of you know how hard it is to sensor what you want to say when you know someone in your day to day life is reading...
I HAVE to SAY that I HATE IT..... HATE IT.... HATE IT.... because I started this journal really well as I could bitch about my life and people that were pissing me off and I was losing the weight then because I could vent!
I went to diaryland but then found that I couldn't put my blog down because of someone that in my life that reads the blogs reading the comments I put on others blogs so she found me... ohhh I sound like a real bitch and I feel like one but I am not meaning to be one.
The person I am talking about is Kris... Look don't get me wrong but I have HAD ENOUGH of being on this blog and not being myself as this has to be for me to get out my frustrations.
After the last time I left blogger and moved to diaryland Kris emailed me a month later to ask me if she had upset me and we had a huge email talk and basically she apologised for all... the reason being that she shoved me aside for a new friend that she wanted.
I didn't care that she wanted to have new friends because I think that is great but I did mind that she totally stopped going to the gym and totally pushed me aside and when she went to WW meetings she would sit with this other friend and leave me sitting at the back (when I was sitting first) because she had new friend and then when the going got tough and this new friend was dwindling she expected me to just come back and solve all her problems again... and by then I was pissed feeling like a piece of rubbish that she throws away and then decide's oh I am useful again let's pick me out of the rubbish and use me again.....
So I told her this!! and that I am not happy if she does it again because I hated it!!! I am not a piece of rubbish I am a person wanting loyalty and friendship and someone that I can be friends with...
Well as you have probably guessed it has happened again... OMG I feel like I am back at school again... I am 36 years old and I feel like a school kid being upset by a friend... well I am upset over a friend... and what happened was...
I asked her 2 months ago to do the Round the Bridges 12km walk with me and she said "No" as she couldn't do it and I convinced her to do it with me and that we would train and get her up ready for it... and we did do some walks to get ready and she was getting happier about doing the walk.
Yesterday at 9.30pm (GRRR late I might add) she phoned to say that the PTA was going to do it as a team, and that she was going to go with them and what did I think!!
"OMG OMG OMG" she was doing it again... casting me aside like a piece of rubbish and I had been told by a friend that knows us not to get back into the friendship with her as she won't change... but I decided I would let her have the benefit of doubt as she had said she was sorry and wouldn't ever do it again... but she did!!!
What is it with me and people like this... why am I attracted to friends like BLONDE's (if you all have read that saga)????
Kris said "is someone else going with you walking?" I said "No" and she said that she wanted to go with the PTA and waited for me to reply I WAS STUNNED that I said "Do what you think is best" when I really wanted to say GO FUCK YOURSELF. She said "oh you can come with us and join the PTA walking group... I just said "look it is late!" and then the conversation stopped... I asked her to come with me over a month ago and I don't know these ladies at all and whether they are faster than me... they are only doing the 6.3 km's and I want to do the 12 km's and quite frankly I don't think I am being a bitch when I say that the pathways around the river aren't that big to be more than 2 or 3 people walking together anyway. Am I a bitch? Do I deserve this sort of friendship? I think after going to Wellington and meeting the wonderful ladies I have realised that there can be friendships out there that support each other and not be one sided.... I know this!!
Then OMG if at 9.50 the phone didn't ring again and hubby picked it up and said something like "it is rather late isn't it" and then gave it to me... she said... "come on you can come and go on the walk with us on the PTA because there is a BBQ afterwards that I want to go to" (and I think she only asked because she had thought about it and was feeling quilty.
Seething is not the word that I want to say now THAT IS FOR SURE... she then preceeded to ask me how my day went and I just said fine and went quiet as it was 9.45 at night and I couldn't believe the conversation I was hearing.
It was turned around to have it that she was asking me as a favour and why wouldn't I just do it.. I don't want to sound harsh but Oh MY FUCKING God I asked her to go with me when she didn't want to go and I walked with her to train four times... and she wanted to go with people in the PTA for a fucken BBQ.
Hubby said "the world revolves around Kris" it got me soo mad... I asked hubby if I was being a bitch and he said no... because if I had said to someone I was doing something with them then to go and walk with another group is rude and wrong and that she is not a true friend because if she was she wouldn't have done that...
Went to my meeting with Crusher this morning and while doing the fitness test on the bike I mentioned it to her and basically I broke down and the heart rate on the machine went way up and I felt like a silly child crying on the bike... but Crusher basically said that Kris isn't a true friend to me and that she hears things from Kris when I am there and she squashes me and I don't see it... and maybe I don't... she said that since I have stopped going to the same LEAN as Kris I have been better and I am improving and that it is better that we aren't friends or doing the weight loss together as I don't do as well when she is around.
I told hubby that tonight and he said that I lost the 20 kilo's really fast and well and then when Kris came on the scene I slowed and lost way less then I had previously.... not sure if I see it that way but maybe it is.
Debbie is such a great influence (and Crusher mentioned that to me) on me now that she is in our LEAN class because I push myself and we are around the same weight and she is doing sooo sooo well with the weight loss but I am not threatened by it because she is geniune when I lose weight and when I lost the 30 kilos she gave me such a huge hug and as a friend was proud of me... and I think it is making me work on my bad eating habits and it is the reason I am losing weight now... she is so positive and there is no bullshit and so I have decided that as from this week I am going to spend more time with people that make me feel good and that I don't have to constantly listen to problem after problem and try and help them sort out their life.
Which I have to say I am constantly doing with Kris. I am constantly listening to her moaning about how life is sooo bad with her when life is cushy with her. Kris has a great husband that works full time and also works extra jobs when at home to get more money than hubby and I get. He supports her in anything she wants to do and if she wants something she gets it. She goes to the gym every day and she can do what she likes and all she has to do is make dinner for him when he gets home and that doesn't happen much. She has a 3 year old at home but 3 days a week he is at kindy and then the other two days she has him in the creche gym for an hour each day... OMG sometimes I wish we had the money for me to be home full time but then again I like the company of my work mates
Kris phoned today 4 times today and then finally said "I have been meaning to ask you... have I upset you?" I don't think she expected me to say anything but I said "Yes you have and I am not happy with the whole thing" she said "I don't want to upset you" I said to her that she needs to go with the PTA group if she needs to go to this BBQ and she has to make her own decision but I was not happy about the situation and then she said "I want to go with you" OMG the only reason she wanted to go with me was because she knew I was upset now. I said to her that she needs to go with the PTA... but I should have said "I don't want to go with you now because you ONCE again chose a better option than sticking to a commitment with a friend"
I am going to start concentrating on friendships that inspire me and lift me up and not stay around people that bring me down anymore.
Anyway back to the normal CM.... I got a sneak preview of the photo for the Waikato Times today as Crusher was sooo excited to show me... it was of me and 4 others playing the made up netball game with the hooler hoops on the ground and I am looking at the girl in front of me (on my team) saying give it to me I have my foot in the hooler hoop and can get the point but she didn't think I was on her team.. OMG my face was sooo funny in this photo but the photo didn't make me look big OMG I loved this photo and Crusher said that she would email me the photo and I will put it up on her for everyone to see.
Love ya all
I hope that I haven't bored you all... and that you will all keep reading.
Love CM
So the bitch session is going to start!!!
I moved from blogger to diaryland because of the fact that I couldn't say what I wanted about my days.... without it feeling like I had to sensor things!! I know after my week in Wellington that at least two of you know how hard it is to sensor what you want to say when you know someone in your day to day life is reading...
I HAVE to SAY that I HATE IT..... HATE IT.... HATE IT.... because I started this journal really well as I could bitch about my life and people that were pissing me off and I was losing the weight then because I could vent!
I went to diaryland but then found that I couldn't put my blog down because of someone that in my life that reads the blogs reading the comments I put on others blogs so she found me... ohhh I sound like a real bitch and I feel like one but I am not meaning to be one.
The person I am talking about is Kris... Look don't get me wrong but I have HAD ENOUGH of being on this blog and not being myself as this has to be for me to get out my frustrations.
After the last time I left blogger and moved to diaryland Kris emailed me a month later to ask me if she had upset me and we had a huge email talk and basically she apologised for all... the reason being that she shoved me aside for a new friend that she wanted.
I didn't care that she wanted to have new friends because I think that is great but I did mind that she totally stopped going to the gym and totally pushed me aside and when she went to WW meetings she would sit with this other friend and leave me sitting at the back (when I was sitting first) because she had new friend and then when the going got tough and this new friend was dwindling she expected me to just come back and solve all her problems again... and by then I was pissed feeling like a piece of rubbish that she throws away and then decide's oh I am useful again let's pick me out of the rubbish and use me again.....
So I told her this!! and that I am not happy if she does it again because I hated it!!! I am not a piece of rubbish I am a person wanting loyalty and friendship and someone that I can be friends with...
Well as you have probably guessed it has happened again... OMG I feel like I am back at school again... I am 36 years old and I feel like a school kid being upset by a friend... well I am upset over a friend... and what happened was...
I asked her 2 months ago to do the Round the Bridges 12km walk with me and she said "No" as she couldn't do it and I convinced her to do it with me and that we would train and get her up ready for it... and we did do some walks to get ready and she was getting happier about doing the walk.
Yesterday at 9.30pm (GRRR late I might add) she phoned to say that the PTA was going to do it as a team, and that she was going to go with them and what did I think!!
"OMG OMG OMG" she was doing it again... casting me aside like a piece of rubbish and I had been told by a friend that knows us not to get back into the friendship with her as she won't change... but I decided I would let her have the benefit of doubt as she had said she was sorry and wouldn't ever do it again... but she did!!!
What is it with me and people like this... why am I attracted to friends like BLONDE's (if you all have read that saga)????
Kris said "is someone else going with you walking?" I said "No" and she said that she wanted to go with the PTA and waited for me to reply I WAS STUNNED that I said "Do what you think is best" when I really wanted to say GO FUCK YOURSELF. She said "oh you can come with us and join the PTA walking group... I just said "look it is late!" and then the conversation stopped... I asked her to come with me over a month ago and I don't know these ladies at all and whether they are faster than me... they are only doing the 6.3 km's and I want to do the 12 km's and quite frankly I don't think I am being a bitch when I say that the pathways around the river aren't that big to be more than 2 or 3 people walking together anyway. Am I a bitch? Do I deserve this sort of friendship? I think after going to Wellington and meeting the wonderful ladies I have realised that there can be friendships out there that support each other and not be one sided.... I know this!!
Then OMG if at 9.50 the phone didn't ring again and hubby picked it up and said something like "it is rather late isn't it" and then gave it to me... she said... "come on you can come and go on the walk with us on the PTA because there is a BBQ afterwards that I want to go to" (and I think she only asked because she had thought about it and was feeling quilty.
Seething is not the word that I want to say now THAT IS FOR SURE... she then preceeded to ask me how my day went and I just said fine and went quiet as it was 9.45 at night and I couldn't believe the conversation I was hearing.
It was turned around to have it that she was asking me as a favour and why wouldn't I just do it.. I don't want to sound harsh but Oh MY FUCKING God I asked her to go with me when she didn't want to go and I walked with her to train four times... and she wanted to go with people in the PTA for a fucken BBQ.
Hubby said "the world revolves around Kris" it got me soo mad... I asked hubby if I was being a bitch and he said no... because if I had said to someone I was doing something with them then to go and walk with another group is rude and wrong and that she is not a true friend because if she was she wouldn't have done that...
Went to my meeting with Crusher this morning and while doing the fitness test on the bike I mentioned it to her and basically I broke down and the heart rate on the machine went way up and I felt like a silly child crying on the bike... but Crusher basically said that Kris isn't a true friend to me and that she hears things from Kris when I am there and she squashes me and I don't see it... and maybe I don't... she said that since I have stopped going to the same LEAN as Kris I have been better and I am improving and that it is better that we aren't friends or doing the weight loss together as I don't do as well when she is around.
I told hubby that tonight and he said that I lost the 20 kilo's really fast and well and then when Kris came on the scene I slowed and lost way less then I had previously.... not sure if I see it that way but maybe it is.
Debbie is such a great influence (and Crusher mentioned that to me) on me now that she is in our LEAN class because I push myself and we are around the same weight and she is doing sooo sooo well with the weight loss but I am not threatened by it because she is geniune when I lose weight and when I lost the 30 kilos she gave me such a huge hug and as a friend was proud of me... and I think it is making me work on my bad eating habits and it is the reason I am losing weight now... she is so positive and there is no bullshit and so I have decided that as from this week I am going to spend more time with people that make me feel good and that I don't have to constantly listen to problem after problem and try and help them sort out their life.
Which I have to say I am constantly doing with Kris. I am constantly listening to her moaning about how life is sooo bad with her when life is cushy with her. Kris has a great husband that works full time and also works extra jobs when at home to get more money than hubby and I get. He supports her in anything she wants to do and if she wants something she gets it. She goes to the gym every day and she can do what she likes and all she has to do is make dinner for him when he gets home and that doesn't happen much. She has a 3 year old at home but 3 days a week he is at kindy and then the other two days she has him in the creche gym for an hour each day... OMG sometimes I wish we had the money for me to be home full time but then again I like the company of my work mates
Kris phoned today 4 times today and then finally said "I have been meaning to ask you... have I upset you?" I don't think she expected me to say anything but I said "Yes you have and I am not happy with the whole thing" she said "I don't want to upset you" I said to her that she needs to go with the PTA group if she needs to go to this BBQ and she has to make her own decision but I was not happy about the situation and then she said "I want to go with you" OMG the only reason she wanted to go with me was because she knew I was upset now. I said to her that she needs to go with the PTA... but I should have said "I don't want to go with you now because you ONCE again chose a better option than sticking to a commitment with a friend"
I am going to start concentrating on friendships that inspire me and lift me up and not stay around people that bring me down anymore.
Anyway back to the normal CM.... I got a sneak preview of the photo for the Waikato Times today as Crusher was sooo excited to show me... it was of me and 4 others playing the made up netball game with the hooler hoops on the ground and I am looking at the girl in front of me (on my team) saying give it to me I have my foot in the hooler hoop and can get the point but she didn't think I was on her team.. OMG my face was sooo funny in this photo but the photo didn't make me look big OMG I loved this photo and Crusher said that she would email me the photo and I will put it up on her for everyone to see.
Love ya all
I hope that I haven't bored you all... and that you will all keep reading.
Love CM
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