Wednesday, 3 May 2006

Telling it how I feel it!

I must say thank you TRIXIE!!! I miss you heaps. I wish you didn't live in Australia. I can't believe after 20 years of being friends that we are still in contact over the sea etc. Thank you for still reading and supporting me. I do appreciate it. Now I will publicly say 'Come on girl start a blog so I can read about you ;-)'

Thank you all for comments I do appreciate it. I was wondering for a minute there if you all had gotten pissed off that I had changed (once again)and you had decided not to read me anymore.

I went to the gym tonight and THOROUHLY enjoyed it. I was speaking with the receptionist there when I got there and she said "do you mind if I say something" OHHH I got worried then. She said we have been worried about you until a couple of weeks ago. I said why were you worried? She said because for the last 6 months you have been more in to helping Kris out with herself than you are with yourself and that we were worried that it was bringing you down. I didn't think that it had and when she said that I sort of thought... how could they see it and I only just see it.

I suppose I was for quite some time continually telling Kris that she can do it and she can push herself and for the receptionist to say that they were all worried but didn't know how to approach me made me wonder how come I didn't see it before. I suppose I like encouraging people because it makes me think that if I can encourage them I can do it myself... but I haven't been. I have been slacking and not concentrating on myself like I had at the start of last year.

It is going to stop from now on... the receptionist was in the class tonight and she buddied me and said that she finds I am such an inspiration and in the last couple of weeks been watching me doing this for myself and glad that I am finally concentrating on me. Wow she put me on a high and made me think about me...

Why can't I find someone to go to the gym with that motivates me and listens to me about my day? I do find that I need someone to push me and said that to my trainer.. especially food wise... so my trainer said she would check my food diary for me and talk to me about my choices.

So I now have both my WW leader and my trainer helping me. OMG that is fantastic because I need to work out how I am doing with my food.

I think I am doing well but I am not losing in the way I would like.. I don't think that I am chosing the right things honestly. I know I am keeping within my points and trying to do the right amount of carbs and fruit etc but those choices can be better... but maybe in my mind those choices aren't what I want he he he ya know what I mean... like I am giving up??? maybe that is it? Not giving up on food just that I don't want to give up the things I like...hmmmm.

I am thinking more about my food lately. I am reading that book I mentioned about in my post the other night and it certainly makes me think about my whole weight loss.

I must say I am please with Weight Watchers subscriptions at the moment. I subscribed to their magazine while I had the 2 years for 1 year price and I didn't get my first one when I thought I should have... but thought well I just subscribed I will give them the benefit of the doubt but when a friend received the latest magazine and I still hadn't gotten mine and it was a week later... I started to worry. So I emailed them and she sent me the latest one and added an extra magazine on my subscription. I was totally pleased with how fast they replied.

OH God I am babbling on again aren't I. I really feel like I am back to writing about me and not fearing about how I am feeling, or what anyone thinks. At the start of my journey I wasn't afraid of saying what I thought and through getting it out on here I was not dwelling about it in my mind anymore.

A great friend of mine (Leonnie) phoned me last night and she said that she doesn't know how I can be so candid about my life and what I am doing on my blog.... and maybe I can do it because people on here (apart from Leonnie and Trixie) don't know me (as such)... don't know my past and so this is a way to get it out and not to fear because it isn't going to hurt anyone here and in the long run it is about getting it off my chest so I don't brew about it.

I know when I was younger I used to fear everything and didn't want to try anything and never did exercise etc.. and tried everything under the sun to not do any exercise but now I wonder why? what was the problem in doing exercise... I am enjoying it so much now and if I would have opened my mind when I was a kid then maybe I wouldn't be as big as I am now (or was he he). I want to instill that in my boys... that exercise is fantastic and fun and don't fear it or fear that anyone else thinks it is silly because it is good for them. I hope it works and I hope they take heed.

Anyway I have babbled too much.

Love ya all

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