Friday, 18 August 2006


I keep hearing the saying "keep positive" today.. .to be quite honest I want to strangle the next person that says it..

I do understand that keeping positive really helps but sometimes I don't want to be positive I want to feel exactly how I am feeling and not putting on a front. Why should we lie to others on how we feel.. if we don't want to do something or don't want to feel a certain way why should I because it makes others think something else...

Ok now I have that out of my mind!!!

Had a huge talk with Crusher, Kris and 2 other ladies at the gym last night and it was a good night. Crusher really pointed out that she is committed to helping us loose this weight and got us to think of things that were hindering us etc and the ways that can help us keep on track.

So this morning I had a talk with Crusher on my goals... now that word goals has always made me shiver..... I can't seem to find any goals that truly make me want to loose weight. I am not one for goals for weight loss.. now for other things like getting a house and having kids etc etc then goals are cool and I get it and I do it but.... yep there is a but... exercise goals and weight loss goals always suck for me!!! I mean I lost my first 20 kilos because a person told me I couldn't do it and so I did it.. but since that I have sucked with the loosing weight.

So anyway back to the subject Crusher and I had a talk and basically it came down to the fact that since the challenge with her and the 50 kilos I have realised that I like it when there is a challenge but I don't have any challenges that I want to achieve right now so Crusher is going to do my next six weeks of challenges... I have to have one a week so on Monday I get to know what the first challenge is....

OHHHH I forgot to note that Crusher weighed me and I had a loss she isn't telling me the amount from now on... and we have another understanding.. before last night she wasn't going to tell me if I lose or gain.. but now she will say I have lost or I have gained and if I gain and the next week I sabotage myself then she will not tell me my weight for 6 weeks... now sabotaging doesn't mean if I gain it means that if I go and really binge or really try and sabatage myself.. well that is what I got out of that anyway.

After my meeting with Crusher I went out to go on the treadmill and Kris said to me (with her trainer next to her) help me!! so I walked past her got some weights and handed them to her on the treadmill.. he he he he OMG that was sooo funny... so I helped her but not the way she wanted he he.

I have a verruca on the bottom of my foot and OMG I have been in so much pain with it for the last week because I have been taking this medicated pad on the bottom of it and the pain is horrible. I am tired of going on the treadmill and the bike and the cross trainer and feeling like I have to get off because it is sooooo painful. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Took my mum out shopping today too and that was ok.. I just really don't like shopping... getting quite sick of it really.

Walked to school to get my son with Kris this afternoon... it was a good walk.. a bit cold but it was good.



Afternoon Tea

WW Chicken Pot Pie made from scratch...
Hmmm lots of veges and soo yummy

Felicity... yes I am still planning the Wellington Trip will email you the dates. Looking forward to the dinner with everyone and their families... it is going to be so much fun.

Going to bed now.. I am tired and I need to get some sleep.

Love CM

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