Monday, 15 August 2005

Falling back into the trap

OMG I feel like I am falling back into my bad habits.

I don't want to! I want to keep this weight coming off but in the last week since getting my 10% I have eaten crap... crap I tell you... I am going to list the things I have eaten here so that I am not going to keep this going. If I post what I have eaten maybe that will push me into sorting out myself.

Chocolate thin biscuits
Toffee Pops
Extra Garlic Bread at dinner
Nibbling all week
No water
Pizza for dinner one night
Nibbling hot chips from the kids lunch in the weekend.
NO exercise
Donut

OH MY God I am usually a cheese person and not a sweet person but this week I have gone overboard.

I was sick last Tuesday (on my day off) so I didn't go to the gym and I went on Thursday but didn't make up for it for the rest of the week, and I am quite angry with myself for that too.

I didn't go this morning as I have tonsilitis now and I really feel like crap. I am starting to wonder if me getting sick like this again every week is because I am not happy...

I am not sure if I am happy at work or not. I miss my own office and I am not happy how I get treated by people when they see me at the desk... it is like you are the low of the low sometimes and I have worked so hard in my career to go back to feeling like that again.

I am not a receptionist.. I am their administrator I don't sit there and just greet people, and I feel so lowly or something. I know that sounds bad... I know but I miss the respect of the job I had... I miss the fact that others knew I was the assistant manager and when my boss was away I took over, I miss the feeling like I am there to do more than just serve... I know it sounds bad (I DO KNOW this) just that I feel like I am back to where I started again. The people there treat me like Gold (work colleagues) don't get me wrong and my boss thinks I am the best things since sliced bread and I get paid OOOHHH so much more than I did at the University but I don't think I am happy!

I know I am the only one making myself upset and I have to give this place a chance... anyway (sigh)

I must say with everyone swapping their blogs to bloggspot is fantastic... it is like reading them for the first time all over again.... Well done everyone.

I will try and update again tonight (I don't usually post this early) ;-)

Chubbymum

UPDATE
OK I am back now..... I went out to the gym this afternoon!!! and it certainly was good... but bad. I haven't been going for a week and I certainly felt it because the rower was slower for me and I was getting frustrated with myself... but that is all good I just have to work myself back up to the fitness level again. So I did the following:
15 minutes treadmill
15 minutes on the bike (with peddles in front)
10 minutes on Rower before giving up as I was getting frustrated.
Side weights for my tummy 12 each side times 3
Sit ups 4 sets of 15 OUCH
but the best thing was that when I had finished I was going towards my locker to get my stuff and my trainer came and starting talking to me and she said "how is your new job going?" I said it was good. She said that she is training my new boss and she said "OMG you have made an impression on your new boss, she is praising you up and saying that you are the best thing that happened to them and that she feels comfortable leaving you alone because she knows that you will find something to do and not sit on your backside" OMG I had like a tear coming down my cheek as that is fantastic for her to be telling other people how she feels about my work. I wasn't too sure how she really felt but she is obviously happy. So my day turned out to be ok. Still feeling a little under the weather though. I do think I am not getting sleep and have to rectify that.
I am liking Blogger like you wouldn't believe it is so much easier than diaryland.. Woohoooo
Good night

14 comments:

Slim Suzy said...

Welcome to blogging! Hope your job gets better.

Lee-Anne said...

Love your site, looks great. Your job will get better. It's always hard being the "newbie", and takes a while to settle in. Just keep remembering the positive things about the job. You are doing so well. Keep looking ahead. You are going to make it!!!!!

Leighanne said...

The new site looks great!!
Welcome to Blogger:)

Fiona said...

hey site looks good, you will be fine at the new job.
10% thats great
well done
fiona

Emily said...

The first few months are definately the hardest at a new job, when you feel like you don't quite fit in yet, and are wondering if it was worth giving up what you had. Most of the time it IS worth it, especially when you've had that great feedback from your boss.

Well done on getting to the gym with tonsilitis, very inspiring!

jak said...

Wow, your boss must really be impressed with you. That's fantastic! Congratulations on getting a workout in, even when you're not feeling so crash hot. :)

Jaxx said...

Love the new blog girl - you have done a fantastic job on it!

And well done for going to the gym.

Take care Jaxx :)

Felicity said...

Right young lady u get yourself right back on track.
DO YOU HEAR ME!!!!!
While u read this get yourself a glass of water.

Helena said...

You are right, you are eating some crap and if you keep eating that crap you will undo all your good! Surely you dont want to be slogging it out at the gym for nothing do ya? Get back on track, start to feel positive about yourself and everything else will become positive with it. Give yourself plenty of time in your new job and really enjoy the new experiences! YOU GO GIRL, YOU KNOW YOU WANNA *wink*

Sandra said...

Hey good luck with getting back on track. I know exactly how you feel - both with eating and job!

Can you make some changes in the workstation or environment that will make you feel more in control? It can be hard to fit in. I have the same issue with my new job. I'm trying to make it my own but it is hard to get rid of the sinking feeling that I've made a mistake... I hope it all gets better soon - for both of us!

Queen said...

I MADE it HERE! **looking around** It looks great!! You know I will be back :) Congrats for the 'pat on the back' at your new job. Feels wonderful, doesn't it?

Anne said...

It will take you a little while to settle into your new job and it is in a totally different type of situation to your old one so will feel strange. Well done on the praise:)

M said...

It is so good to get confirmation that you are going well, especially when the information was passed along from someone else. Well done for going to the gym when you are not feeling your best. That is real spirit. Now back to basics with your food, and you will be right back in it..

Hope you have a fantastic day :)

Jodie said...

Well done on how much you have accomplished. Keep up the good work. Acknowledging what is happening is a huge feat and you have done this by posting your slip ups. Always remember the road travelled but don't harp on those little bumps in the road. Move on. I have bookmarked your blog - I hope that is OK. XX