Thursday, 19 January 2006

Thank you

Thank you for all your support.

I am still finding it rather hard at the moment. I sit thinking... do I want to do this... do I want to keep up with it.

I do but I don't.

I went into one of the rooms at work today and one of the ladies said "you have lost weight" I turned around and said no I have gained. She said it looks like I am slimming down especially around the sides of my backside and one of the other girls said "yes I thought that but didn't want to offend you" OMG I would never be offended that someone thought I had lost weight. So maybe my body is portioning it differently but not losing in weight??? Not sure. hmmm

Not wanting to be thinking about food all the time but lately that is all I am thinking about and getting really tired of it.

Yesterday talking to the trainer just made me feel comfortable and it was easy talking to her... like she wasn't judging but listening. It is hard sometimes as people don't listen anymore... I mean truly listen anymore! I know that really they have their own things to get on with but she listened and is genuinely trying to help me solve my delimma.

There was a suggestion by a friend today saying why not leave the exercise and just do the food and then bring the exercise back in and see if that works. I am just not sure anymore as I do enjoy the exercise but the reason I did the exercise in the first place is to lose the weight ya know?

I have also been thinking about the No Count plan but for me I dont think it will work....

I seem to go through this every year around this time... the time where I wonder where my life is and what I am up to and what I am going to achieve this year and last year was great because I stuck to something for a whole year and I got myself eating healthier and exercising and I didn't think that would happen again.

Anyway I might come on for an update later but have a headache!



Helena said...

ok ... well what makes you feel really happy? The feeling of achievement after doing a day on points? Or the feeling of achievement after doing some exercise you didnt think you could do? Maybe that might help you decide which way you want to go. I know that the exercise effort I have put in makes me look "smaller" than what my weight suggests but good food choices makes me feel better in a healthy sense - either way we cant win! It's both or nothing :( This is a lifetime thing mate, take it day by day and just stay positive :)

Anonymous said...

you have to remember when exercicing alot that you start toning up and muscle weighs heavier than fat your weight will start coming down again the body is probably in shock and once it settles you will be off dont give up the exercise as it makes you feel so much better otherwise you sit around feeling tired all the time be patient i know it is hard but give it time and you will see results soon.

Me said...

I think that the LEAN programme sounds like it might be just what you need. I always try to remember that I am choosing a healthier lifestyle for myself and for my family and not think of it as a diet because in my mind, when I think of going on a diet I equate that to being a failure because I never manage to stick with it.
You have done such an amazing job to get where you are now - hang in there and try to keep it up - it is so worth it when you get to where you want to be. I know that there are times when it feels like you want to give up and just toss it all in but have a look back at what you have achieved and ask yourself if you want to throw that all away.
Take care and hope you feel better soon.

Felicity said...

CM I love you I know you will make the right desission. The lean class sounds great. Hugs.

autumnfairy said...

I have many days too when i don't know what to do or if i want to do it. i think the best thing to do is when you feel like this is not make a decision but take it one day at a time. you will do what is right for you. hugs to you

Logical guy said...

First, I have to say congratulations for losing about 15% of your body weight. That is quite an achievement. And everyone who tries to lose weight for more than a few months comes across the dreaded "plateau", where you really wonder whether it's worth it, you aren't losing weight or even gaining it. But hang in there. I've just started reading your blog because you have an 'energy' that you don't read much in blogs. I'll miss that. I don't know whether you want suggestions or not, but my one suggestion would be to get yourself a diet buddy, someone who wants to lose weight with, and you two can tell each other off to a degree when you over indulge. Good luck.

Debbie said...

Hi, I've been reading your blog for ages now as it gives me so much inspiration and I've got to say I'm feeling the same way that you are at the moment as well :( I can only suggest we bothkeep plugging away at this :) you've done really great so far and I love dropping by to read how your day has gone. Take Care

Jodie said...

I definately think you should keep up the exercise part, as for the food, that is something only you can decide on. Obviously you are not quite ready to fully committ to this and that will only hold you back. Have you thought about seeing a hypnotherapist? I've heard they can work really well with mind over matter thoughts like food. Thinking about food and being hungry are two different things and obviously you are having real trouble distinguishing between the two. Just a thought anyway! I know how hard this journey can be. It's been 2 weeks shy of 2 years now since I first joined WW and I certainly know how frustrating it can be. I found when I was getting sick of the whole ordeal I would go on maintenance for a while. Still be conscious of what I was eating but treating myself a little here and there. If I felt like it I had it. I didn't track but kept up the exercise. After about 4 weeks I'd hop back on the wagon and continue the journey. This way I just didn't give up altogether! I know I had to do it and I wanted to do it but sometimes I just wanted to feel normal again. Eating like this is a lifetime committment. You need to understand that even when the weight is finally lost the problem or potential problem will never go away. That was something I had to come to terms with before I could be successful. Even though I'm now pregnant and cannot follow the program I'm still careful not to overindulge too much and I know that as soon as this baby is born I'll be right back there losing weight with everyone else. I hope this has helped even just a little. XX

Sue said...

Have you been doing measurements? Maybe those women are right- you're losing cms but not kgs?

fattyboombastic said...

Me again here lol.. Keep at it sis, don't give up. You've come so far and you will eventually get there. You look great in your pics and you look so happy. Perhaps you body has just stopped losing it in kgs but you are losing it in cms. Think about what you want at the end of all this and go hard! You are doing so well, no time for giving up! Keep it up :)