Wednesday, 11 January 2006

Battle

Ok I have been battling with this for 2 months now and I have decided after last nights weigh in (which I lost...but not as much as I really thought warranted with the efforts I put it for 3 weeks solid).

I am not going to put my weight up for a while..... I am going to say I lost or I gained and I am going to keep writing like I have but I have been angry for my loss of interest because of the competitiveness that I have. I don't want to compete because it makes me back off!!! and this is the way that I feel I can stop it in my mind.


I want to lose for me! I don't want to keep thinking why am I not losing as much as others. It is driving me insane and the more I try the less I lose and I cannot handle that at the moment.

I was sooooo angry with my family and with me last night after the weigh in (even though I lost) but I felt with the effort that I put in.... others that I know would lose a lot more. I shouldn't have been angry with my family that is for sure but took it out on them and it was wrong.


OMG I am tired of hearing... 'muscle weighs more than fat' that is for sure... I am not happy with that excuse at all... because I have been doing exercise for a year now not a month or a week and the muscle thing seems to get used for everything ya know.

I have enjoyed the last couple of weeks with the exercise I have done. It has been interesting and I have pushed myself and I have learnt heaps that I need to try different things and do things for me more often as it gives me such a kick and such a thrill of excitment that I did this for me.. he he he he

Ok... enough from me.

Good night everyone
Love Chubbymum

10 comments:

Kate said...

You just do whatever works for you!

Brelle said...

I agree with Kate...you have to do what works for you....and you know everyone is different so they will lose weight at a different rate than you.....as long as you know that whatever your doing is healthy for you and your family thats all that really matters.

Keep your chin up & dont you feel good about all your bike riding and time with your family :O)

Me said...

I have to agree with the others - do what works for you. While I know that we aren't supposed to compare ourselves to others - it is hard not to so if this is what is going to keep you going - good for you for doing it !!!
Take care and hang in there - you have done such an amazing job already and I am pleased to have been able to share this journey with you !
Have a great week - Me

Karen said...

Yeap you just do what works for you hun! I too compare myself to others frequently and get myself down when I do that as I see how well they have done in a shorter time frame to me... but I have to remember we are all different and I also tell myself well at least with losing it slowly (like I am) I will be more inclined to keep it off! I am not saying the others won't keep it off either... but thats just my way of thinking.
Sorry for rambling - we are all here for you hun!
*hugs*

Tina said...

Yeah I agree with the above comments....you need to do what works for you hun...it IS hard not to get competitive. I find that at times when I feel like that, I need to refocus and remember what I'm doing, why I'm doing it and for who! You're going so well....You should be so proud of yourself!

A Girl Running said...

I think you new Idea is a great one. I do the same and it really helps me not become too focussed because that is normally when I chuck it all in.

congratulations on your loss though, your doing such a brilliant job

Jodie said...

We all put way too much emphasis on the scales! Maybe take your measurements tonight and then after 1 month of weigh in's recording just a loss/gain take your measurements again and record your total cm's lost for the month. This is sure to motivate you! If the cm's are coming off then the scales will follow! You are doing sooo well and it would be a shame for the scales to cause you distress and even worse going off the rails. Doing it for yourself is the only true way to succeed. Well done on your loss not matter how big or small. As long as the scales are heading in the general down direction be happy! No one ever said this journey would be easy and if they did they were dis-illusioned and completely wrong! Take care and chin up! XX

Leighanne said...

I'm with the others - do what feels good for you!
If you know you are eating right and exercising, who cares about the numbers!
It's the way you feel that counts:)

Anne said...

Totally agree with the others - I know I used to get so fed up with not getting the results I wanted, the scales can vary so much - up heaps one day, then back down - I sort of think the main thing is just to keep on going, maybe look at the loss over a fortnightly or even monthly period - you are giving it your best shot. We all want to get there in a hurry but I've realised the main thing is as long as you work at it - you will get where you want, doesn't really matter how long it may take. I reckon you have done so well!!! Keep smiling:)

fattyboombastic said...

Hey sis, I hope you are feeling heaps better. I know how you feel girl when you put so much work into that week and the results aren't what you were wanting. I had two months like yourself where the weight was up and down. It would upset me too but you know I've gotten over it now. Its ok sis, you do what makes you happy. You will eventually get there sis, I know you will cos you have come this far. Keep up what you doing and enjoy your family rides. Chin up girl, you're doing well :)