Friday, 8 June 2007

Geesh my rambling on again.

I have been confused on which plan to stick with in the last week. I have been reading Helena's bible, Step diet, Downsize me, and been thinking about Weight Watchers. OMG what is wrong with me that I can't find something that suits me. I have to stick to one and keep to it. I am missing WW but only missing the leaders and not the meeting or paying for it. I am not wanting to pay for it anymore when I know the rules but I am not keeping to it.

Why am I not keeping to it? Why have I lost my mojo? Why can't I keep to anything and do it? Am I the only person that switches so much? Do I stress too much like Lyn says? I suppose I do. Sometimes I just want a plan of the day of what I have to eat and what I have to do and that is it but then I want to rebel when I have a day where I have to do and eat from a list.

Went to my PT session with Joy today and OMG it was great and I did full sit ups 30 of them Wow I used to find it really hard to sit fully up with sit ups but I was doing ok with it today. She also made me do butt lifts too BITCH he he he but it was great to get it over and done with.

Ok so my food has been errational today as I felt sooo hungry when I got back from my PT so exucse the crap today.

Food today:
Breakfast: Fejoia Cereal 30 grams, Milk
Morning tea: Left over steak in the fridge (see told ya I was eating weird)
Lunch: 2 small bread rolls with chicken and salad, V
Dinner: Not sure yet

Why do I go through this? I am trying to understand how I think and why for the first half of the year I was doing so well and then what changed for me to suck at this?

I am not giving up and in the last couple of years I haven't but to stop losing is really getting to my head. While I was at my PT today I was getting sore arms because I was thinking of Kris's head while punching the punching bag and it made me feel great.

I want a challenge and exercise challenge so I was talking to Joy about it today because I am not with Lean I don't have any challenges and so I am not wanting to exercise etc because my team has disbanded over the last 6 months (Lean) because Kris joined I stopped going and about 6 of them don't go anymore either. Joy started a kickboxing class at the church up the hill from me and I was going to do that until Kris said she was doing it GEESH... am I stopping myself from going and losing out yes maybe I am but then I don't want have to deal with her shit anymore either ya know.

I am going to ask Debbie if she wants to go on Wednesday nights to Joys kickboxing and stuff Kris and if she gets pissed off that I am doing it with Debbie then too bad as well. I have to do something now for me and I do like Joy's kickboxing classes.

This coming week I am going to do the following exercises:

Monday: Kickboxing
Tuesday: Walk with hubby
Wednesday: Joys Kickboxing
Thursday: Go out for a walk while kids are at school
Friday: PT with Joy
Saturday: Go for a walk
Sunday: Go to the gym with hubby

I am going to up my steps too and if the weather is good at work next week at lunch time then I am going to go for a walk during the week as well.

I know what I am doing I mean for christ sake I have been doing it for 2 years... I can do this aye!! I can lose this weight I have to find something that boils my blood to make me stick to it. I don't have a goal and as those of you know that have read my blog for a while I find it really hard to find a goal that makes me go for it.

I think losing 200 grams a week for me at the moment would be a goal because then I won't feel the pressure and if I lose more then that will be bonus.

So I need constant reminders my friends to keep with this!!! To eat right and exercise and stop shovelling crap in my face. My hubby thinks I am not eating enough and that is why I am gaining but I am not sure... I get lost with the WW points in regards to exercise and whether to take them all or not. I used to do so much exercise that I couldn't eat all the exercise points.

We are taking the boys to Rock'n Roll classes tonight. Corbin had a chance to check it out at school on Thursday and they gave us a pamplet and said come along so we are going to take them tonight and see how they go. I hope there are a lot of kids their ages there and we can have some fun it should be great. I do worry about Quinn a little because he can be a cheeky monkey but when there are crowds and people he doesn't know he goes all silly and doesn't listen etc and goes shy it is soooo silly.

He he he Rachel it is such a pity you live such a way away because our sons sound like they like the same thing he he he and also the seminar (or talk not sure what they call it) was put on by Parents Inc the couple up the top of the website are the ones that do the seminar. The guy is absolutly fantastic and funny but his wife is not as funny but she knows what she is talking about. Also they do the parenting magazine and I find it really informative and I have a subscription to it because they go up to teenagers in it and not like the Little treasures magazine where it is only for babies.

So I will come back on and update and tell you how the boys went with Rock'n Roll. I want to take my camera but a little scared it is overdoing it for their first time he he he but if we go back next week then I will take it.

Anyway goodnight for now

Took the boys to the Rock'n Roll for kids and I swear there was about 30 kids in this little hall and there was about 15 at the start for the beginners but my two boys were the newest that started tonight so the guy was helping them heaps and they did sooooo well. Quinn is the youngest there being 5 years old and he did well too. I thought they would be shy and not do it but they got up and started and Corbin took to it like you wouldn't believe.

There was a girl there from his school and she said she had seen him at school but he couldn't remember her. Well they partnered up while he was learning and at half time Corbin was tired and had enough and she came and asked him to dance and he said No thank you OMG when the girl went I said to him "it is very rude to say no to someone that had the guts to come and ask you to dance Corbin and it was a nice thing she did"

I said to him how would he feel if he went and asked a girl and they said no" he then realised he did the wrong thing but he still didn't want to dance. I think next week he will go and ask her... she was quite cute too he he he and for her to ask him to dance she must have thought he was good he he he what a proud mummy I am.

They both want to go back next week and I am sure they will do well. I was talking to hubby and we might go on a Tuesday night to the adult lessons woohoooo some different exercise for me and for hubby and I to do something together this is going to be sooo much fun.

Thanks for listening to me today guys it is much appreciated.

Love ya all


Christine said...

Don't get down on yourself - sounds like you had a bit of an AH-HA moment. Thats what happened to me a few weeks back, I just decided that I need to make this work and I need to make it work right now. Set goals - I know you can do it! Take care.

Tania said...

You're doing great - just remember that as long as you're acknowledging where you're going wrong it's a step in the right direction.

I've beaten myself up endless times on this journey and gotten incredibly frustrated that i'm not further along in it but at the end of the day I keep focussing on moving forward and accepting that even a small loss is still a loss.

I think we all reach stages where we need to change things and shake things up a bit and the best thing to do is listen to that. If you get tired of one program, change for a while - do whatever it takes.

If you feel you need some discipline, plan a week in advance and stick to it, perhaps even go back over some trackers and find a week where you had a good loss and repeat it, that's often helped give me a boost at times.

You've come so far in this journey, it's understandable how you can get a bit frustrated with things but you will get there. Just keep focussing on the end result.

Have a great weekend.

celtic_girl said...

Change is good,the hard part as you know is finding what to change to. I'm sure you'll have your epiphany soon.

Those rock and roll classes sound like so much fun, I wish my hubby was into that sort of thing.

Anne said...

I know how easy it is to get frustrateed, fed up and just feeling quite down. But take zal ook at what you've written, despite feeling like that you are doing a lot of positive things to help you.

Believe me the mojo goes but it does come back:-)

Your boys sound like honeys!!

Lee-Anne said...

They say smiling burns calories and also extremely contagioius. You've got one of the most beautiful smiles around. When you smile your whole face just lights up. So next time you're feeling crappy and down on yourself, put that smile on your dial and go out infect those around you.. Make somebodys day and you'll be thanked by the smiles you get back. Damn good way to chase the blues away.

200 a week is so achievable darling girl.

Now move along, it's time you posted.