Tuesday, 19 June 2007

Thank you

Thank you Celtic girl, Karen and Felicity for caring!! I did appreciate your comments it is nice to know someone cares as I was in a terrible space yesterday.

I was feeling really sad yesterday. Because of dealing with my friend and her breakup and her kids etc and also... I know a lot of people go away from their other half's but we are hardly ever apart and I missed him yesterday.

The kids missed him last night too and I kept saying that he will be home soon. We do a lot together and for him not to be around was upsetting us all... wusses I know but that is how we felt.

I went to bed a little angry at him because we phoned him and fair enough he was in the middle of something so had enough time to say goodnight to the boys and then had to go to the dinner that the conference was having so we got 3 minutes and that was all for the boys but then I thought he would have texted last night to say good night or this morning to say good morning as we don't go a day without speaking normally ya know...

So I went to bed sad and woke up sad too thinking he was having a wonderful time and didn't miss or the kids at all.

Well got to work and then sent an txt to a friend and noticed that I had a red envelope and SILLY ME had a full in box and there were two messages from hubby... "Nighty, night, sweetie. Love ya! (I love the fact that because he is an english grad that he puts punctuation in he he he and then there was another that said "Morning Sweetie" OMG I felt bad then and send a txt to say that I missed them because my inbox was full.

He then phoned me and said that he has a huge cold and not feeling well and misses me this morning so I was crying on the phone... soppy I know but I really don't know what I would do without him... I would spend 24/7 with him if I could and it has been like that for 18 years.

I have to start getting back into reading blogs and replying and tracking... I am slacking everyone and I am in such a low and don't know how to get out of it and I am scared to write in here because I don't want to come across as a moaner so I just don't blog anymore because I haven't had anything great to say.

I am lost!!! I am lost in this weight loss!! I know what I should be doing but I am not doing it. My weekend was eating chips and chocolate biscuits and too much V and I didn't care!!!

I don't want to go back to my old habits and I keep yoyoing and can't get my mind out of it. I know I have to be positive and I have to take responsibility but don't know how as I think I have sunk too low!!

I don't have anything to aim for! I don't have anything that I want to loose the weight for (not even for me or my family)

I want to get out of this!! I am going to have a gain of at least 500 grams this week so there you go again yoyoing!!! once again!! up, down, up, down, up, down and the cycle keeps going and I do realise that is why I am not getting many comments anymore because I am not motivating when I am like this and hey I wouldn't want to read me either aye...

Food today
Breakfast: 2 toast, chopped egg
Morning tea: V 3 Ryvita Wholegrain Crispbreads, tomatoe, Lite Cottage Cheese
Lunch: Noodles and Chicken (OMG it was too much and struggled and should have left some but I didn't grrr)
Afternoon tea: 2 Mandarins
Dinner: (don't know yet)


Anne said...

Wish I knew what to say to help you with the weight loss issues.

Christine said...

Its tough - so tough. I am back at work now and of course people have noticed my loss - but now holy cow pressure to continue to do well! My anxiety is high each day now with making choices - I know that you can do it, you have to make the best decisions for you. Take care of yourself.

Lyn said...

I never just comment because someone is motivating me?? Chickey I think you need to decide if you really want this? do you?? do you WANT to get to goal?? or are you hoping that by blogging and talking about it that it will magically happen? I don't mean to sound cruel but only YOU can do this for YOU. And it IS damn hard work and it DOES take forever!! And some days it DOES feel like we can't do it! But we CAN!! But we have to WANT to!!! *hugs*

Chris H said...

I think sometimes we need to take a step back from the diet for a wee while, and just relax? I know I have for a while now, but I am feeling a new surge of motivation.... probalby cos me jeans won't do up!! boo hoo. Hubby will be home soon, then you can relax and get on with it.

celtic_girl said...

I am emailing you hun