Thursday, 20 October 2005

Feeling positive but down.. hmmm

I am feeling positive!!! I am sitting here on my computer and it is 7pm and I have finally worked out that I am tired with the negativity that I get on a daily basis in my life!! from people. I am feeling positive because I am not going to do it anymore! I am not!! I am going to concentrate on this weight loss and F*&k everyone else (I am sorry for the swearing). I am doing so well on this journey and I get these little bumps and I start not caring about my weight loss. I let others rule my heart and it effects me... I am not doing that from now on!! I am not!

I had a clothes party last night and my friends from work and weight watchers turned up. It was such a relaxing night and we all had so much fun just with wine and nibbles and looking at clothes. It was the sort of clothes party that you don't have to buy anything if you don't want to. There was no pressure to buy clothes and it was nice to be around so many positive people and I want more of that... I want to be surrounded by positive people.

They made me realise that I have come so far with my weight loss, and that I need to look positively into the future and to the fact that I have done this... no one else and I have stuck to it and I don't need anyone else to get me through this. What I mean is that I sometimes look at this journey and that I didn't achieve this... like I didn't put hard work into it when I have. I hope that makes sense. I have come this far with the weight loss on my own (obviously with the support of my fantastic family) but I did it.. I am going through the hard slog etc.

Anyway..... I am going full ball on this weight loss... I am not going to let anything stand in my way. I was chatting to my weight loss leaders and they were telling me what things were motivating them when they were losing the weight... and it got me to think that a certain friend said that I couldn't lose 20 kilos within the year... or that I shouldn't put that much pressure to lose that sort of amount in one year... so I started out trying to prove to her that she was wrong and I did it in 9 months. I am not going to let anyone dictate to me how much I should or shouldn't lose.

I am tired of the depression and negativity I notice in my life! I know that I am not going to get rid of that totally... but from now on I am not going to have that around me! I am not going to listen to it! I am going to go full on forward to changing my life for the best. The thing is is that I want this to be a healthy change... I don't want all the crap food anymore. It doesn't help my mood and it doesn't help me to have the life I want. Why would I want it? The crap food I mean. I sit here trying to work out why I would sacrifice a great healthy life with my kids and husband for food.. What is so great about food? It isn't going to hug you at night.. is isn't going to make you laugh. It is just food.

Drinking the water last week was a great start for me! It has made me re-evaluate my situation and that nothing or no one matters if they come to break my weight loss efforts. (When I read this again I know it sounds harsh but I have reasons for saying this and can't explain it right now).

Anyway I think I might leave it at that.

I am going to the gym tomorrow night and I am going to go on Sunday and hubby and I are doing two walks this weekend. I want to have a good loss next week as I am going to be 25 kilos down by Xmas... I AM!!!

Love ya all


Karen said...

Awesome entry tonight hun! Definitely made me sit up and think about the negative people that are around me at times!
I am so hoping that the new job etc will bring a new fresh start to my life and with less stress hopefully will come a family!

Anne said...

Great post CM! I can relate to how negative people drag you down. It's so much better having positive people around! Good luck with you aim of 25k's by Christmas - you will do it!

Tracy said...

Good on you, what a great post. You know you are going to have to change your name from Chubbymum cos you aren't - need a more positive one say happymum or slimmermum. Have a great day

Lee-Anne said...

Attitude hun. You've got it. Next time you hit negativity - speak out - hold your head high. And move on. You have the control. And you're the one whos going to make it.

Take care and have a super healthy weekend.

kathrynoh said...

Wow, you sound really pumped. That's great. Who needs negativity in their lives?

Leighanne said...

Great entry - we don't need the negativity in our lives. You go girl!!

A Girl Running said...

Wow - fantastic entry, good for you, you sound so motivated and determined.

I love it!

Me said...

What a great post CM - such a good attitude to have and I am sure that now you have changed your attitude you will find that the people you atttract to you will be different - they will be the people you want to be with who will help you on your journey !
Take care and have a great weekend !

M said...

You are !!!

And we will cheer you on every step of the way.

Have a top weekend CM and just keep on going on :)

Philippa said...

What a great post - you sound so positive and determined (very inspiring!). You can achieve everything that you want to - those who say you can't, prove them wrong!

You've got such a fantastic attitude.

Have a great weekend!

missjesse said...

What a great loss you had this week! YOU ARE going to be down 25 kilos by xmas too, with this attitude you can!
And you are so right, food CAN'T give us a hug or make us laugh! If it is good food, it can give us the energy to do these things though.