If it doesn't rain it pours

OMG got an email from my friend Pam to say that her child support went down by $200 a month OMG how does he think she will survive. She had a total of $20 a week left to buy food for the 3 of them and now she doesn't know what to do..

I couldn't take it anymore so I got involved (maybe I shouldn't have) but I texted him:

Neither J or Pam know I am texting u. But I had to say I used 2 think u were a great guy and admired u but after today I didn't think u would stoop so low as 2 hurt your children like u r because of money. I hope u don't live 2 regret it...

and I was shaking..... someone said to me today that since I have lost my weight I have gotten stronger and say what I feel and not such a push over..

Well an hour and a half later I go this:

If you had bothered to hear my side of the story you would understand. I didn't know bri was self hurting until J told me. She only tells what she wants to and changes it to make me sound bad. You two have made a choice of Pam. Bye.

So I replied:

No I did not make a choice of pam, and I did know u did not know about bri, what you may not know is that she is finding it hard 2 feed them on what she gets and now that the child support is less how is she 2 feed them now? They r also your responsiblity and ur r punishing the kids as well as pam and that is what I cannot understand. I don't want the friendship 2 end but one call in 6 months has not helped either. U give friendships up to easily. And.. this is not J's opinion and does not know I am writing 2 u.

My God what is wrong with the guy...

• Leaves his family
• Within six months is engaged and getting married in January 2008
• Refuses to pay mortgage on house and holiday property
• Was not paying child support for the first 3 months and now after been backed paid to them he has claimed for the sluts family and she gets $200 less a month
• Not wanting to see his daughter and now she is in counselling and self hurting herself
• His friendships have been put on the wayside
• He treating his ex like crap when he is the one that cheated.

How can this keep going? Is he wanting her to go bankrupt? If he does why would he do such a thing to his kids? Why do people do this? I can't understand the nastiness? can someone help me with this? I don't understand how anyone could change like that and I never thought I would be thinking bad thoughts about George EVER as I would have said I would have trusted him with my life and my family's life that is how much I thought about the guy.

I am distraught about it all.. I can just imagine what Pam is going through... it is not fair.

CM

Please help me to help her... what am I to do? She has no one.. .no famly it is hard.


8662

Thank you and some George news

Thank you everyone for the comments re my wedding outfit... I was a little iffy about the photos as I felt it made me look bigger because of the light on the top... but I was feeling sexy in it all day though he he he.

Anyway last night we had arranged to have Pam and her son and daughter over for dinner (as they don't have much money for food but I wasn't going to say that I knew just thought would invite her) Anyway I was supposed to be picking up the Pam's daughter from dancing but Pam turned up with her a half an hour earlier with the daughter crying... I thought OMG what is happening here.

Apparently George text Pam to see if he could have some daughter daddy time WOHOOO GEORGE I knew he was a good man just that all the emotions were getting in the way... so he listened to Jeremy and made an attempt.

Pam said that it would be fine but it can't be on Wednesday because Brianna is organised for something already and Thursday she has a counsellor meeting so hopefully they will get it sorted.

Pam said that the daughter (we shall call her B ok) still keeps saying she hates her Dad and has been sooo upset and crying that she didn't want to stay at dancing and she wanted to come to our place... that was fine by me. Pam took the son to soccer practice and left B with me.

So B and I went to Woolworths to get some stuff to go with dinner (left my boys with mum) and I started off asking her little questions about her day and then we got on to holidays and then she mentioned her Dad on the holiday and I gradually got the conversation over to the fact that he texted her mum....

She said "I hate my Dad" I said B I don't think you hate your Dad you do love him but are feeling hurt. She just looked at me and I said "So why do you hate your Dad" she said because he promises stuff and never sticks to it" she gave me some examples and I had a chat and said that sometimes adults are off in their own world and don't realise that when they say something it means a lot to someone else and that her Dad loves her and is trying now to make up for what he has done.

I said to her that she needs to tell her daddy what she is thinking because if she doesn't he won't know how she is feeling and so he keeps doing what he has always done.

She thought about it for a while and then started talking and talking to me and I think she might be thinking it will be a good thing and that she will try but she doesn't want to have his fiancee there at all and wants it to be quality time with her... so I am hoping that she tells him and that he listens and trys...

BUT it is a start don't you think?

When we came back we made cards and I got all my Xmas stamps and glittery things and all sorts and the boys, me and B made cards and it was fun and she was sooo happy and smiling and she made me a Xmas card but she said that I am not allowed it yet so she will post it to me before Xmas... that was sweet.

The night went really well and hopefully things are going to come right.

When I told Jeremy he high fived me... it was great because George listened to Jeremy and I am proud of my husband and it must have been the right person at the right time that made George think about the situation... so hopefully in the future we can do some more subtle talking to George and see what happens.

Anyway will update later about the day he he he

Hopefully going to the gym tonight..

OH OH OH OH OH if you go here and see a skirt (as you can see in the photo at the bottom of the post)wellllllll I had this skirt taken in at the waste and sides because I liked the pattern so much so my friend took it in so it was sooo tight that when I lost weight I would be happier in it WELLLLLLL it is big again and I don't think I will be able to wear it in a couple of weeks because it will start to fall off.. I am soooooo chuffed about it but not because I like this skirt... but but but I am wearing it today but thinking about getting a pin to take it in in the waste he he he he sooooooooooo chuffed that I am losing the centimetres he he he.

Chubbymum

7570

OMG

Why do weekends go so fast...? Maybe it is because we are actually doing things that we want and not doing things that we get paid for hmmm.

I did so much in the weekend and finding it hard to get started in to writing what I did and all the emotions that went with them... So this maybe a long post.

As you all know I was sick from Wednesday till Friday and it was the worst tummy bug I have ever encounted and it drained me a hell of a lot.

So Saturday morning consisted of going out and getting sand so we can finish the side of the house (but never got it down because it rained). We went shopping for a wedding present and a birthday present (for a 6 year old girl that Quinn calls his girlfriend) and OMG don't get me started on the 2 weeks of hearing when is the party when is the party and how many sleeps till her birthday OMG he is infatuated by the girl.

Then we had to wrap them and I made a card and Quinn had to make a card for his girlfriend as well and we had to get ourselves all dressed and ready for the Wedding.

Wedding
It was a very low key wedding apart from them getting dressed up in a Wedding dress and him in a tux. They had a beautiful 1920's car (looked like one of those ganster cars) and Jeremy and I didn't know anyone there expect for the brides mum, brother and a friend of the family. So it was a little nerve wracking walking in to the glass house at the Gardens and seeing all these people looking back at you and we didn't know if we were in the right wedding or not until we saw the Mother of the bride which was a huge relief.

Karina's brother walked her down the eisle and I had tears coming down my face as it was lovely to see and she looked lovely... I was taking photos (as they didn't have a photographer hired as the grooms aunty was supposed to be taking the photos as she did photography) so I took the photos I wanted for me and then after the ceremony.

We were walking out to go for a walk around the gardens while we waited for the reception and the Groom came up to me and asked me to take their wedding photos for them as the aunt had run out of battery (OMG you would think that since she was doing the photos and she had plenty of warning that she would have had batteries wouldn't ya..) so I said yes and took some nice ones (350 to be exact) and about 45 minutes in to taking the photos the aunty came back with a fully charged camera and I was going to bow out... and the groom said he would like us to keep taking them if that was ok. But this aunt made it so difficult for me like I was not wanted and everytime I had a shot set up she would walk in front of me OMG I wanted to slap her how could she do such a thing.. the snooty bitch...

So I backed off and the groom said is everything ok... I said I don't want to tread on any toes and will let her take the photos (I find out during it that she has a film camera so couldn't take that many anyway so I started snapping after that he he he).

Got to the reception (which was a pot luck and we didn't know and didn't bring any food and I felt bad about that) and sat down and the friend of the family came over and said that I was looking fabulous and that I had lost a huge amount of weight and well done and through the night she kept telling me this. It was quite weird he he he.

So glad that is over and done with.

Quinn apparently had a great time at the party and Mum and Corbin had KFC for dinner as my mother in law took them down to get it which was really lovely.

Sunday
Mum said on Saturday night that if we wanted to sleep in then that was fine and she would make breakfast for the boys.

Quinn came up at 8.30 and said Nana wants you downstairs... so I thought Quinn was being his cheeky self and said "did Nana say it or are you being naughty" and then Corbin came up stairs and said "Nana said get here now" SHIT that scared the living daylights out of me.. so went down and she was hunched over the kitchen bench saying "get me to the toilet I feel really bad" and she was as pale as anything. She must have caught the bug I had caught off her but worse this time so the whole day I was checking on her because she didn't look good at all and it scared me a bit.

We went upstairs for most of the day to spring clean my wardrobe and drawers and got rid of so much stuff and organised the clothes in a better way and put up shelving etc and the boys vaccuumed and dusted and OMG it was such a relief to get things down up there as everything else in the house usually gets done first and our room is the last he he he.

We put on a roast lamb and then headed over to my friend Pams place (the one where her ex partner left her and the kids etc) and spend a couple of hours over there and Corbin managed to fall somehow and get his knee in to his lip and his teeth went in to his lip and blood was pouring everywhere OMG it was a little scary to have so much blood coming from my boy.

We showed Pam how to use Trademe to sell things and upload photos etc... and then came home and had dinner...

George
About 9pm the phone rang and I thought WHO THE HELL is ringing on a Sunday night at this time and it was George (Pam's ex and Jeremy's friend)... Jeremy got the phone and said "George" and as soon as that was said I turned the tv off to listen... Jeremy went in to the kitchen so I could watch my show but I couldn't concentrate as George has only phoned once and Jeremy didn't know what to say to him and just said "we are going out can we talk another time" which was at least 8 weeks ago.

I was sooo proud of my husband tonight he is the best husband anyone could have.. any of you that have met him is is a little bit of an introvert but a kind loving guy and doesn't like conflict of any sort and keeps out of things but tonight he didn't and listening to him I think he has been thinking a while about what he would say to George about the situation and basically he said

"George we have been friends for a long time and I don't really want that to stop, but I have to say that I am not happy about how the kids are getting affected in this situation. I don't want to get in to the stuff between you and Pam because frankly it isn't my business but when your daughter is talking to our kids and in return talking to us I need to say something."

George apparently said that he thinks Pam is manipulating his daughter to not come and stay the night and Jeremy said that he didn't think that was the case. He said that she is only 9 and she thinks that her Dad hates her and that her Dad doesn't want to spend time with her and that it was a huge change for her.. she has had her Dad living there for most of her life and now he isn't and he is living with another family it is a lot for a child to take in. He said that telling his daughter that.... if she doesn't stay the night then she cant come over at all is not good and it is hurting his relationship with the kid.

It isn't her fault that all this has happened and maybe if he had her for the days for a while then she might get to like it and then stay and the way he was doing it was not helping her at all. She is a very sad little girl and he wishes that George will sort it out... maybe ring her now and then and just talk to her and let her know that he still cares. (I had tears down my face as my husband was talking)

I think George listened and Jeremy was saying that George wasn't trying to hurt her just that he thought that his daughter wasn't doing this voluntearingly and that Pam was telling her what to do... (but if she was doing that dont' you think she wouldn't let the son go to his place which makes me think he isn't thinking properly).

George said he hasn't been happy for a long time with Pam and stayed because of the kids and that he is really really happy first the first time with this new woman (still think of her as slut sorry everyone) and that DRUM ROLL PLEASE they are engaged OMG after 4 months they are engaged can you believe it!!!!

George said that he felt it was awkquard at the soccer graduation and that Jeremy didn't want anything to do with him. Jeremy said that he had been taken unawares as George had come up from behind and that it was a little awkward but wasn't intentional.

I hope George does the right thing because I have never found (before all this happened) that he was a nasty person he has always been a person that I would count on.

We are not stopping talking to Pam and the kids and he told him that and he also didn't want to finish the relationship with him.

I hope George takes all this the right way and there was more that Jeremy wanted to say but thought that a little at a time would be best or it could turn to custard. He told George we weren't taking sides and that he shouldn't expect us to.

Jeremy said that he thinks George listened and that it might get better.. I do hope so as this little girl is now self hurting herself and telling me and others that her Dad hates her and her mother keeps saying that her Dad doesn't hate her he loves her but he sees things a little differently from her.... She is seeing a counseller on Thursday and I am picking her up from Dancing tonight and they are coming for dinner so hopefully tonight will be a good one.

We did phone Pam to warn her that Jeremy was talking to him and that he might try and phone Brianna (he hasn't seen or talked to his daughter in 5 weeks but has had his son quite a bit).

Pam didn't take it that well.. she knew about the engagement as the son had told her that afternoon after coming from Georges place and the daughter didn't take it well at all. Pam said to me "I will back off now" OMG I let her have it... I said we aren't at school where you are only allowed one friend and that I want to still be friends with her and maybe with George (I am still not sure) and she said that she didn't want to make it difficult for me and Jeremy because we were Georges friend first and this way it will give us an out (Well if any of you really know me I didn't let that settle) I said to her that I want to be friends with both and I wasn't going to go through this again with her thinking that she will back out... I have been friends with her for 11 years not like it has been only 3 months or something and I enjoy her company (so hopefully that is all sorted geesh).

I just want these kids to be happy... I can totally understand that George doesn't love Pam anymore and really there is nothing that can be done about that (and I have told Pam this many of times) but I don't like seeing the kids suffering because two bloody adults can't talk (and really it is George that won't communicate as Pam has tried)...but it isn't fair on the kids.

Sometimes I think George is doing all the money hungry things with the divorce to hurt Pam but doesn't think that he is hurting the kids and maybe he has to stop the hurting before he can see it ya know.

So that was my weekend... GEESH!!!!!
What an emotional one it was.

BUT>>>>>>> I have 2 more days after today and then I am only holiday until the 29th October woohooooooooooo I cannot wait..

Oh oh oh
The Camping saga... geesh I knew it was too good to be true that I had finished this update he he he.

Tania phoned yesterday to see how I was and to say that she phoned Athenree camping ground again to book (which was only 24 hours after she had phoned them) and they said sorry the campsite had been booked now wohoooooo but she managed to book in for Bowentown (which is still at Waihi) and that if she gets in trouble with the tent then can she call on us OMG as her hubby won't be there till the Saturday and she has the 3 kids... I said to her if we aren't in the middle of putting up our awning etc then we could do it. I am not telling her what we are doing again because this is ridiculous.

I said to her "I didn't think that you had a tent" she said no we brought it 2 days ago (the day after I had told her we were going away to Athenree) OMG.... I dread to think how she is going to put the tent up if it is raining with 3 kids.

What a relief that she isn't going to be at the same camping ground it will be great because then I am not going to have to have dinner because they are there and what she wants to have to eat and my kids can relax too... but now can visit her etc because we want to if it works in with us ya know... Plus it is back to just us as a family and that is soooo cool.... I might get some reading in too woohooo.

OK... had enough typing now he he he PHEW.

Chubbymum

7519

All is good...

Ok... first thank you all for your concern but I am not thinking about doing anything nasty to this guy... just got angry because of more shit that he is doing... and on my blog is a place to get it out so that I don't stew about it.

He is now going to her timeshare half way through the week that she is up there with the kids and he is taking his new family OMG what a gaul to do that...

I do understand that my friend has to deal with this and I am there for an ear but it is really hard when she doesn't have any family living ya know. I am not taking it to heart too much but I can't understand how a guy that I used to think I would go to if anything happened in my life and now find out how he is treating his family it just makes me double think about who I can trust.

I think my monthly is coming soon that is why I was a little grumpy.... plus having the whole day with kids and then had the night with the kids and hubby went out that it was just a bad night.

Went to the doctor this afternoon for a check up and my blood pressure was down from last time 120 over 80 (not sure what it was last time) but I think that is an ok blood pressure for a normal person. Doctor was pretty pleased with me and she is also really happy with the fact that I have lost 41 kilos since the first time we talked about my weight (2005). I couldn't believe that my blood pressure was down to tell you the truth because I was getting more and more worried about it in the waiting room he he he.

Got up this morning and took the kids to school and decided to go to the gym.... went on the treadmill for 10 minutes but didn't want to jog today and was going to give up and not go at all but for the 10 minutes I put the speed up from 5 to 5.8 and then thought.... why not go to a class I haven't been to before ARGGHHH talk about scary.

So I went to a step pump class woohooo and there wasn't that many people in it about 5 of us and they were all so nice and we laughed the whole time... it was hard trying to concentrate on the moves while she was teaching them and I wasn't the only one that was knew... I think I have a sore tummy from laughing.

I was sooooo sore afterwards because we did push up laying on our back with the dumbells and weights and lots of sit ups and up and down the steps... but I was pumped and now this afternoon I am feeling the pain. The tutor afterwards said that I did pretty good for a new person and thought I would have had more trouble then I did sooooo woohooo... but it is much harder work than kickboxing class. I thought it would have been easier but I was sweating like you wouldn't believe.

Took mum shopping and got some t shirts for the gym and I got birthday presents for birthdays that are coming up.

Not in a good headspace

Not in a good headspace tonight...

Going to list what I did today but not going to elaborate

1. Took kids to school


2. Spend from 9 till 12.30 with Corbin's class making funky glasses with the kids


3. Went to coffee with my friends and my mum tagged along too.


4. Picked up the kids took Corbin to Optometrist because he needed an eye test and his glasses broke (the day after I made the appointment). $800 later argghhh


5. Got home cooked dinner


6. Bathed the kids


7. Put the kids to bed


8. Now sitting here and read an email from my friend and about what the creep has done now and I am sitting here seething and feel like I am a failure for not wanting to help her tonight and wanting to kick his butt so hard that he won't be able to have anymore kids EVER again and feel like putting a hex on him so he never ever has a happy life ever again. I hate feeling like this.. it is not me but I do feel like this.

Going to post this and sorry not reading blogs and not staying on the computer tonight.

Weigh in 19 Sept 2007

Weigh in day at home today:

Loss: 300 grams

Current weight: 119.8 kgs

Total loss from WW: 34.9 kgs

Total loss from start: 40.2

I am totally happy with this result this week. I have been going to the gym and doing weights and I had a huge weekend with food but managed to lose weight so I am pleased. I wished it would have been the 500 grams that I aimed for but with alcohol, weight training, celebrations a loss is fantastic.

This week has been wonderful in the fact that I haven't been worried about the scales and I have not been obsessing about my food.

I am sooo glad to be back at the gym and went last night and the gym was SOOOO full that we had to wait for equipment and we don't usually have to wait... and with that many people I don't usually jog on the treadmill as I hate being watched but thought FUCK this he he he and I jogged but I walked for 5 minutes and then for the remainding 10 minutes I did 30 secs run 30 walk and OMG did I feel great. An ex Weight Watcher buddy of mine came up and said it is soooo great to see you running and you look amazing so I felt like on cloud nine.

My exercise for Tuesday night was

• Treadmill 15 minutes (5 min walk, then 30 sec run, 30 sec walk for 10 more minutes woohoo)


• Triceps


• Biceps


• Quads


• Kickboxing with hubby, arms and legs


• Lateral Pull downs

I felt on fire... and my shoes are HEAVEN... did I mention that before??? HEAVEN and I don't feel my feet and I want to run run run woohoooooo..... even the last pair that I brought didn't make me feel this good and I didn't have sore knees going up to our bedroom up the stairs last night which I usually did with my other sneakers..

Watched Biggest Loser UK last night and had a wonderful phone call in the middle of it and said to the person...GEESH ringing me in the middle of B.L he he he hope the person realised I was teasing and it was great to get the phone call... but in the ad's I phoned them back... thanks for caring!!!

So is anyone else watching the BL? I just get such a buzz from it and want them to do more and more and more of it... gives me such a boost and such inspiration.

Thank you for your comments re my friend.

My friend UPDATE:(if you don't want to read I understand... thought I would warn you beforehand).

I think I have solved a little of the problem and said to my friend that if he doesn't want have anything to do with her we will work things out.

So on Monday's when he takes her to dance class and also my friend has her son's star soccer so I said I would pick the daughter up from dance class which I can go for a walk for anyway and bring her back to my place. So that means that she doesn't have to have Monday's be a day that she is scared her Dad is going to pick her up and moan all the way to school. Last week he picked her up and made her get dressed in her outfit in the car in front of 2 of the boys that are now his new family. I think that was disgusting for a 9 year old girl to have happen when she kept telling him she didn't want to....

He has changed so much and it is scary.

He won't phone but txts all the time and won't give her the phone number for his place or email so she can't tell him when things are happening in the kids life but he told the daughter that her mother doesn't bother to tell her when things are happening.

I have seen the texts and she has tried to tell him about things and he won't answer her so why should she bother... it is all beyond me this childish behaviour.

So anyway he text last night to say he had a production on at school on Wednesday with his work mates and wanted them both to come... it would finish at 10.30... so my friend waited 2 hours before replying (woohooo her) and said no they couldn't come she txt back saying

"Is this a joke. You are unbelievable. You have refused to have B unless she stays at night and not taking her to dancing. But want to show off at school. Pretend to be good dad with your new family. 2 late for kids. Pick up A on Mon outside my work at 9. Don’t wish to text you again tonight. Am over it"

I was sooo proud of her because she usually lets him have what he wants so that the kids get to see their dad and this time she had the balls to say no... and I can just imagine there are going to be reprocussions as he hasn't signed off the lawyers yet and is still not paying the mortgages and she is having to pay that and is also not paying any child support and said to her if she causes any more trouble she is going to claim for the kids that is living with him so that she gets even less.

Janene I said the same thing to her last night... if he can't take them both then he doesn't get the son. But she said she phoned a counsellor and they said it wouldn't be fair to the other child and so she agreed... sorry I wouldn't have agreed at all. The father is in the wrong and he has to know that he can't play one child off on the other and both of them would be staying home.

The 9 yr old said that last time she was there she was asked if she wanted to go with her Dad to placemakers or with the slut the supermarket by the slut and then her Dad said No girls go with the slut and boys with him... so there again she was shot down by her Dad and had to go with the slut when she has only just known her for a couple of weeks.... what is up with him.

I told my friend I was putting this in my blog but not mentioning names because I needed to vent as well and she was ok about this so don't fear I am not writing this without permission but I am not using names.

Really upset

Oh God I just feel sick to my stomach.

My friend that is going through this breakup well I think I told you how the daughter is scared of her father after the time he came and had a huge fight with her mother and grabbed her mother and she had bruises the next day (remember I have never seen him ever ever be like this so it is a shock)... and all while he thought the kids were asleep but the 9 year old wasn't.

Well the 9 year old daughter only wants to stay at his place with this woman of his (slut I call this woman because her kids said to his kids it is their 3rd Dad OMG) in the day time and refuses to go at night so he said to her mother if she doesn't come for the whole night then she cannot come at all EVER and said he has had enough and doesn't want her there then... but is going to take the 6 year old son for 4 days over the holiday and any other time he asks.

OMG why would a father put his daughter through this... he said that my friend has poisoned the daugheter and that is why she doesn't want to come but OMG wouldn't you think if she was doing that that the younger boy wouldn't want to go either? Wouldn't you think she would have said no every time he has asked for the kids yet she hasn't... it is sooo unfair and I have this horrible horrible tummy thinking what this poor girl is going to feel when she is told that her own Dad doesn't want her over unless it is under his terms.. they only broke up in May he needs to let her adjust and to see him with another woman and family is too much too soon.

I don't know how to help her I don't know what to say...

God I feel sooo helpless and I know that I can only be there to listen and help my friend but I am sooo disgusted in what he is doing.

I am sitting at my desk in tears because I can't believe he would hurt his daughter like this. I did know that they didn't get along that well when he was living there and that he definatly had his favourite in his son because he did sports and things that they did together but to reject a 9 year old just because she doesn't want to stay the night is beyond me.

I didn't want to write in here but I need to get it out... I am sitting here stewing about it and I need someone to respond and to help me deal with this...

I can't understand how a guy that has been really nice and a good friend for like 20 years do this!!! It is a huge change and he is treating his ex like she is evil when he is the one the cheated and left her and she didn't even see it coming and months beforehand he was telling her loved her and planning all sorts of things...

I just don't understand how life can be so cruel...

It makes me look at my life and hope like god that it doesn't happen to me where Hubby leaves me for another woman and I have to cope with the same thing.... because to be honest I always thought that Hubby and and this ex friend of ours was just the same they were gentle, loving caring family men that would do anything for their family.

I can't understand how he can be a teacher and not realise how this sort of break up effects a child... I can't believe he would find another woman that is a mother of one of his students and sleep with her at a camp with all his students around... I can't understand how one man can change sooo much.

Baggy!

Don't know what to write in here today...

The only reason I am writing is because Weeesplat said that I hadn't updated and I need to get my backside in order he he.

Still going through a lot with my friend and her kids and our ex friend and getting a horrible tummy everytime I think about it. I find that I am the sort of person that takes things to heart and that I feel it is happening to me. I just want to wallop our ex friend over the head with something heavy to make him come back to the nice guy we used to know. I don't think that is going to happen though.

Was going to go to the gym last night but thought NO I want some time with the kids and hubby and eat dinner altogether instead of them eating while we go to the gym and then we eat when we come back. It was that sort of night to veg and have fun with the kids.

When they went to bed I got going on Quinn's birthday invitations (will post a copy when I get home as it is on my laptop) and they looked cool. Took me three different times to come up with something that I like though. So he is excited about that.

I have felt so much more relaxed this week with my weight loss because I didn't feel like this overwelming pressure to do well.... I totttallly know that Leenie never wanted that to happen and she was being the loving, caring wonderful person that she is but I put unrealistic pressure on myself and this week I have not.

I think I will have a loss tomorrow.. be it 500 grams or not I am not sure but it won't be a gain. I have started back at the gym this week since having a fortnight off because of my back so I won't have lost that much because I am doing weights as well so the muscle thing isn't going to help but it will be a loss.

I have to say Janene thank you for the last couple of weeks being my email buddy and I yours... it has made me stick to my tracking and realise that I am sticking to my points and what will happen will happen. It gives me encouragement to stick to this knowing you are going to be watching everything that is going in to my mouth so I think twice about it. I needed that support and when I am down you bring me back up again... I hope I am doing the same for you.

It was supposed to be Quinn's cross country today but it is raining (Janene you better not have jinxed it he he) and so he isn't too happy about that as he was looking forward to it.

It is my long day at work today and it is driving me insane already... I am in this little office and only one window and I swear it is only just the size of a small small bathroom (no bath or shower he he he)...

I think too much in this office as my day drags a bit but it is sooo convenient because I can take the kids to school and pick them up and get paid for the time I am out doing it.... and the work isn't taxing at all. It is only 3 days a week at that.

I really would like to have a job that was more creative and something that I would love and fit in with the family but right now I am not too sure what that job is and if it would pay as much as I am getting now.

Going out to lunch today with a lady from work.... it will be great to get out of here.

Got another compliment today... well sort of.... he he he one of the older teachers (she is 72 wow) and she said that I am looking really great but need to get some smaller pants as they are too bloody baggy.. he he he I agree but to spend $50 on another pair of jeans right now is just not going to happen because once I get in to those then I am going to have to buy another because I am not going to stop losing the weight.

Hubby thinks that I am changing shape even though I am not losing a lot on the scales. I must agree I feel the same. The arms in some of my tops are getting a little too big that I am pulling up the shoulders as they are falling he he he slouchy bitch that I am.

Ok.. enough rambling for me.

Chubbymum

6377

Jog Jog Jogging....

I enjoyed getting back to the gym today.....

Started my training for jogging... OMG was I excited.. Ok so I was excited but nervous at the same time because being a big person I fear what other people will think.

Thought I was going to start slowly with my jogging and get used to it and went in to the gym thinking I will walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes at 5.5 (usually 5) so I upped the speed... and then after 10 minutes I was going to do 30 secs run (at 7 speed) and then a minute walk and then 30 sec run and do that 3 times (was going to take it slowly for the first day) but I did 10 minute warm up and then 1 minute run, 1 minute walk, x 3 OMG I was sooo happy with myself.

When I finished that I did my triceps, biceps, leg raisers, stepper, shoulder pull downs, situps and the water bike... and then went by myself down to the sauna it was bliss... sat there sweating like a pig and just thinking about my life and how I have to sort it out and stop yoyoing... well try anyway. But also realised that I am not going to be really stingee with my food because I know it doesn't work for me.

I can't wait till tomorow when I am going to by some running shoes he he he giggle.

I think the thing I have missed in all this is my exercise and I know I didn't lose that much when I was exercising but the main thing is that I enjoyed it and felt healthier with exercise.

So Sunday is the next day at the gym with hubby and I am going to try and do some more running and do combat with him so I can get the sweat up.

Roll on the 500 grams this week.

I have worked it out that by my Easter camp next March that if I keep up with the 500 grams a week average then I will be at around 105... and that would make me sooo happy. I know I would like to be less and maybe I might, but to be at 105 Kilos by Easter would be fantastic.

Went out for lunch with hubby and mum today and it was nice to go while the kids were at the school.

In regards to the 6 weeks leave I have worked it around long weekends and also I only work 3 days a week so 2 days off is included it that. So if there is a Monday holiday I take the Tuesday and Wednesday and I finish work on the Wednesday before so it gives me a week ya know.... so it isn't as great as you think but it is still great he he he still don't get a full weeks pay he he he.

I am having my friend Pam and her kids over tonight for dinner and looking forward to it because we are going to have a family game night woohooo... I am addicted to uno spin at the moment with the kids such fun.

My friend Pam that I have mentioned before that is going through hell with the breakup and found out last night that her ex's step dad and grandmother and his sister aren't speaking to him and are angry with him so that made Pam feel so much better because now she knows that it is isn't her and that others are thinking that how he dealt with this is bad... so maybe if we can get them together we can make Pam's ex realise that he is harming the kids and he needs to sort things out so that the kids are suffering... fair enough he is getting on with his new life and the slut Oops that was a slip.. (the new girlfriend) but to make his kids scared of him etc and that they are really upset well that isn't on.

Why do people do that? Why do the kids always suffer. I totally understand that he met another lady and that is fair enough because obviously she makes him happy but it is the kids that I get angry at. I am all for being happy but if it is at the expense of the kids then I get sooo angry.

He is not paying his half of the mortgage or the other committments and Pam is struggling to pay on her part time wage and to also feed the kids and their sports stuff etc and now Xmas coming up she is really finding it hard.

Sorry I don't mean to harp on about it but I sit here crying sometimes as I hate seeing what is happening to this family and I hate seeing what he kids are going through especially the 9 year old girl when even her school is worried about her as she was an A student and now she doesn't want to go to school and is constantly playing with her brother at lunch times as she is scared that her Dad is going to come and take him and she won't see him again. It is sad.. and I get to the stage that I want to help so much and I don't know how other than to support Pam and the kids.

I got an email from the 9 year old girl the other day and it said "Hi Aunty Mandy, How is your day? I am really sad today..." I didn't know what to say apart from the "how are you? Why are you sad? Is there anything that I can help you with?... I mean what do you say to a 9 year old going through this?

Thanks for listening everyone..

Woohooo me for getting the jogging training going woohooo.

Chubbymum

6222

Contemplating life....

I have been trying not to think of weight loss in the last 3 weeks and it seems to be doing me better.....

I mean that I was concentrating on it so much that I was either being strict with my food or going over board and in the last couple of weeks I have said to myself that I am not going to track but be weary of what I am eating and also that I am not going to go overboard on the exercise as I am finding that I am feeling stressed and out of control because I am getting mad if I can't get to a class or go for a walk and life isn't supposed to be like that.

So I have been going for walks and putting my pedometre on and making sure that I make little increases on my steps each day and if I don't do many steps I am happy with that as well.

I know that I am only loosing 200 grams and 500 grams but they are losses and they aren't gains so life seems great with me with that at the moment. I still have little panic attacks on a Monday thinking OMG weigh in is Wednesday morning I hope I have lost.

I have got the dreaded monthly so I know that there isn't going to be a loss this week but that is cool. I would really really like there to be a loss but not gonna happen.

I think winter for me... I get a little overwelmed with all that is happening with soccer with the boys and having to go our separate ways to take them now and not go as a family because both of them are playing this year and also with my Papaya business and all the things I want to achieve with that and also thinking about studying a small business course to help me with the things I am not understanding and then the weight loss and also trying to find some time for my friends and for hubby too... the weight loss (in huge waves) just has to put on a slow go at the moment.

Last year I tried so hard with the tracking and the events that it really didn't get me that far in the weight loss (in the fitness it did) but I am in this for the weight loss and not the fitness at this stage... so maybe this year with focuss off the weight loss as the major major thing in my life it might be better for me.

I am finding that leaving WW was a good thing for me because I have not gained in 3 weeks since leaving and when I was going to WW I was up down up down up down so it has made my decision a lot easier.

I have also said to my PT that I am having a months break from her too because it is getting to be the same old same old and I need to refocus what I want with the weight loss and the exercise at the moment and I am not enthusiastic about going to PT sessions with her at the moment because I have been going for a year and it is another waste of money for me... so when I can sort out what I want from my PT's then I will go back and tell her what I want to achieve and how she can help me.

I always thought that if I left WW or my PT that I would gain gain gain and would stop thinking about weight loss and I was eventually gain it back. I don't think that is going to be the case with me. I know it has slowed but it is still happening and I have to really think that I have achieved something here and I am not giving up just refocussing where I am going and how I am getting there.

I have also been quite preoccupied with my friend and her break up because she is going through a rough time and she is 49 years old and it has taken her back that she is now bringing up a 6 year old and a 9 year old all by herself now and she is terribly lonely. I just need to be helping her out too. She doesn't have any family and went through a major cancer ordeal in the last 10 years too that I don't want stress to be another thing in her life to cope with without anyone supporting her.

It certainly makes me reassess my life and what would happen if J did that to me... sometimes you get so focussed on your family life and how you need to do everything for everyone in your family and one thing like the hubby leaving can really disrupt what you thought was a perfect life and that you never once had your individuality and now life will be totally different and there is not a damn thing you can do about it... scary really.

Oh and I had a text from Kris last week telling me she finally got off her backside and got a part time job... I sent a text back saying it was a pity she didn't take my advice 2 years ago. She said that she is enjoying it and she should had done it when I told her too... so I suppose that is a good thing.. the woman had too much time to sit and think of what a crap life she had but also wouldn't take advice from anyone because why would she... her hubby works two jobs so that she can go and spend it all for him on things for herself... GEESH.... I think she is finally sorting out the things in her life that just didn't work and maybe got off her lazy backside to get a life. OK enough moaning just makes me wonder... it is one thing to be at home to look after kids but when 2 are at school and the other one is always in the creche makes you wonder if she is being lazy or what ya know.

Anyway.....
Love ya all
Chubbymum

Things off my Chest about G & P

I was so proud of my husband tonight.

Well after 7 weeks we finally got a phone call from the so called friend (the one that has been treating his ex and his kids bad)..

All I saw was Jeremy saying "yes" then his forehead did this you know that angry look when they are telling off the kids look and then he said "No sorry not tonight we are having dinner and then going out to my brothers place" then he said "yes I have heard" and then "ok"....

So here I was thinking I didn't know we were going out to your brothers place tonight why the hell didn't you tell me... and then I said to him "Who was that?" and he said "G" I said to him why did you tell him we were going out.. he said because right now I don't want to talk to him and not too sure how I am going to handle this.

We had a good chat and he said he has left it up to G to ring back later but he is a little angry about how he has gone about all this and doesn't think tonight was a good time for him to turn up.

I said I wasn't keen on seeing him and Jeremy said that he would like it if I was there because we need to be hearing both sides but we cannot not think about what the kids are saying to our kids and how they are feeling and maybe we need to be telling G what we think. I do agree but he better not be bringing over the slut (yes I know that is a harsh word but it is how I feel at the moment).

The reason I am sooo angry at him at the moment but the last couple of weeks we have been going through hell just as much because his ex is ringing me because she has no one... no family no one to count on and I want to be there for her. Well the reason I am even more angry at G is because he turned up at her place last Thursday and he forced his way in to the house took her by the arm and she has bruises and he was shouting and saying that he will smash things if he doesn't get what he wants. The kids were there and he was abusing her verbally and they heard (but she thought at the time that they didn't wake up but the kids said they did hear the next morning)

She phoned me at 9.30 crying and I was telling her that she needs to phone the police.. he had no right to do that... he said that if she refuses him then he will start smashing things... (now this is a mild meek guy that both my hubby and I never never never ever thought he would do this NEVER and now we are seeing things differently).

I was telling her she had to call the police... was saying to her that I am calling the police or I will contact G one of the two... she was pleading with me no no it will make things worse. I said ok then you need to be emailing your lawyer and copying it to his lawyer stating that this is not going to happen again and if it does then the cops will be in on it and that will make sure that he will never get another teachers job ever because he will have an abuse record.... it is not going happen again.

She didn't know this was happening but her boss went to the Deputy Principal of his school and said to the DP that she has to talk to G about the situation and that he has to stop all this or his career is going to be on the line and that it is not good enough. Apparently the DP said that his work is suffering and realises that G's ex was doing a lot when he was at home with work and that now it is suffering Woohoooo is what I felt... arse.

So that is why in the last couple of weeks I haven't been updating because I have been involved in this situation trying to help her out as she is having a huge hard time at the moment.

Anyway I needed to get that off my chest at the moment.

Love Chubbymum

Weekend....

Well things are going well for the Wedding Expo... I am still stressing heaps but I am getting there.

I did a really really nice elegant invitation set in the weekend and was sooo proud of it. I am going more for the black and white invites and have to get out of that and try some funky ones but for now I am enjoying the designing he he he.

On Saturday took the boys to soccer and it poured down with rain... Corbin's team lost and Quinn's team won but they were both close games and Corbin's team didn't have subs for the day as a couple of kids didn't turn up... not suprising really as those parents always wimp out on the rainy days and it bugs the hell out of me because when you go in to a team you should teach your children that you stick to it because you made a committment... grrrr hate parents like that.

Came home and my mother in law was over for lunch and we had a really nice chicken soup with hot bread and it was soooo yummmy.

I went to Tania's florist shop to help her out from 2pm till 5.30 to dress up the window. It looks sooo beautiful. We have a round table in the window with the table settings with my wine bottle, menu's, place names and little chocolate boxes and it looks soooo beautiful and flowy... the colour scheme was mainly white and a pale green... sooo beautiful... I was sooo proud of my table settings. Got a little tired of how bossy Tania was and the other lady helping us said to me when Tania wasn't there "take 10 deep breaths" OMG I could have strangled her but hey that is life aye...

Hubby was really good with the kids this weekend and letting me be in my study with the heater to get these invites done and I was sooo happy with him for helping me out like that.

Took a computer over to my friend that has been going through hell because other half left them and set up broadband for them... I got a wonderful email later to thank me because it really lifted the kids spirits... I was happy to do it for them that is for sure.

The ex moved out like 5 weeks ago and now he is living with the woman he left her for and she has 2 kids, 10 year old and a 12 year old and the 12 year old is a child in his class OMG I thought that was against the law or frowned on anyway. He brought a house with this lady and has brought a brand new car OMG it really pisses me off that he did this so fast and was fighting with my friend to have the kids over for the day on Saturday to meet the new woman OMG 5 week relationship and he is going to fast for these kids... ASS... ok so I have that off my chest.

Corbin went to a birthday party on Sunday and they all went to see Shrek 3 the boys birthday party had 4 girls and 3 boys he he he that is soooo funny... he is a little bit of a ladies boy I think he he he.

I have been really relaxed with my food and how I am dealing with it in the last 2 weeks and last week I lost 200 grams and this week I think I am going to have the 400-500 gram loss... the scales are looking that way anyway. I am really happy with that.

I haven't been to a PT for 2 weeks now and I haven't missed them to tell the truth because everytime I see my trainer it makes me think of Kris and how she took Kris's word over mine (until she found out the truth that is). I have been talking to hubby and I said to him that I am giving up the PT's with Joy as I would rather have the money to go for our gym membership that is due this month coming so that I don't have to fork out 2 memberships all at once....

My main concern is losing the weight at the moment and not how fit I can be. I know there needs to be a balance and I am out walking and going to my kickboxing classes and that is enough for me at the moment. I did so much with the gym last year as you all know 9 things accomplished but it didn't help me lose the weight and I have to consider the weight first this year as I have to get this weight off. I do not want to go another year and only loose 5 kilos...

I do know that you are all going to say I need a balance of weight and cardio and I am going to achieve that but I don't have to pay $50 a week for a PT it is too expensive and I only work part time and we suffer with doing other things.

Anyway I better get some work done

18 years Anniversary

As you can tell from the lack of updates I have been busy..... I am terrible at multi tasking. I am working on things for the expo and doing a fair bit of wine bottle labels and getting creative with those at the moment.

My friend Tania came over on Friday afternoon to show me the colours she has chosen for her half of the site and I was sooo pleased as I thought she would have gone for the pinks she has for her shop colours but she has gone with chocolate brown, champagne and a lovely green soooo nice and so it doesn't clash with my orange black and white either. She is also doing a bouquet to go with my colours for around my stuff as well. I am doing some table name plates and a bottle with a bottle label to go with her colours so we can mix and match it is going to be great. You should hear what she is doing for the table setting hmmmmmm can't wait but you will have to wait for the photos of the weekend to show you.

So that is what I have been concentrating on. I have also been doing ok with my food and thinking about what is going in my mouth too. Hubby and I have been taking note about the foods I am wanting at different times and we are trying to adjust to that.

Took hubby to my PT session on friday with Joy and OMG she worked us hard.... I get that every week but I don't think he realised what I did till he did it on Friday and he was sweating like a pig... IT WAS FANTASTIC and she showed us some sparring stuff we can do so we might do some at home too. Also lots to do with the thighs and the tummies and it was great to work out with hubby I enjoyed it a lot.

We came home and got a shower and tidyed up our bedroom (which doesn't happen often as the kids annoy us in the middle of it) so we did that and then went and brought a new vacuum cleaner. It was so nice to have him home on a week day and to be able to take and pick up the boys together...

Today is our anniversary (of sorts) we met each other 18 years ago today OMG has it gone fast or what. Hubby took me out to lunch at the cock and bull and we had a couple of wines and our dinner and talked and he said to me "so what ya doing for he next 18 years?" I said "Why who wants to know" he said "a scruffy man" and I looked in to the distance and said "who point him out" we laughed... I am more in love with my hubby now than I thought it could be... I wouldn't like to lose him at all... he is my SOUL MATE. We have been married 11 years (almost 12) but 18 years being together seems like it was only yesterday that we met.

Not many people are still together after this long and I know I am truly bleased to be with him. We hardly fight (but a good fight now and then keeps ya on your toes aye) and we have 2 great children...

The only 2 things that would make my life complete would be for my invite business to take off (or have a little shop doing it) and for my weight loss to still keep going down.

I have been calmer since not being with Weight Watchers... Hubby and I have gone back to working out our meals and trying to make them out of he WW books and really really trying to have more veges. I know I am not losing a heap of weight but I am not gaining it either and so we have to tweak things aye.

We are reading two books and incorporating them in our lives at the moment and that is Leenies Bible and also Downsize me book (by the trainer in the Downsize me show). She makes a lot of sense and we have started her training program today too and it isn't that hard. It is a little confusing to do a lot of different exercises but it isn't that bad.

I am trying out different breakfasts this week because if I had my way I would have 2 toast with either Jam or Peanut butter every day and that would be me and on the weekends I would have eggs and toast. So this week I am trying out Pear on toast (sounds strange to me but hey) and also Scrambled eggs with fetta and mushrooms (all out of the WW books), Muesli, Yoghurt and fruit (which I must say sounds really weird as I can't think of the worst combination) but I am trying my hardest to stop my mind from stopping me from not eating good things.

We went to the flea market in Hamilton on Saturday morning and it was nice to walk around and look at all the things. I only took $5 and as usual it was spent on the kids and brought them some socks for winter. The kids took $5 each from their pocket money and brought themselves a tamagotchi toy and some fake tattoos as well so they were happy. There were sooo many things they wanted but luckly they didn't take all their spending money.

Went to Tania's flower shop afterwards to help her with her computer OMG if anything happened to her hubby she wouldn't know a thing about what to do with their computer etc.... they both were soooo bad with knowing what password went with which program etc and he was the only one that sort of knew and he lives most of the time in Hokitika with his business GEESH having a business and not really being organised it is really bad.

I have been thinking about my friend Pam a lot lately and not sleeping that well really. I don't want what is happening to her and her ex to ever happen to me... dreaming about it too much I think... the arse wants half the food in the cupboards now (and to think he was our friend before knowing her) I didn't think he would ever do such a nasty thing.... she used her inheritance from her parents (they both died) to buy their house and a whole lot of things and now he wants half of everything he is an arse!!! without her he wouldn't have achieved anything and for 3 years she put him through University and she supported him and now this is what he does to her.

I told her that if there was anything she wanted out of the house so he didn't get then she is to put it at our place because he is slime and doesn't deserve anything.... his kids are beside themselves and poor Pam has no family whatsoever to lean on... well she has me as far as I am concerned.

Anyway enough babbling he he he... I should update more GEESH I am a slack person.

Love you all and thank you for your comments... I love ya all.

Chubbymum

Letting it all out!!

Wanna you are toooo funny!!! I had just got on the computer and thinking about updating when the email came in with your comment... he he he LOVE YA!!!

Anyway.... came in to work today and since I have been avoiding going to the doctor I made an appointment. I found a lump under my arm and was quite worried about it... and so in the last week my weight loss and everything else has been put on the back burner because as you know I always think the worst aye!!!

Anyway so went this morning... just left a note on my desk at work saying... gone to doctor don't know if I will be back. But I came back he he he.

Had my armpit inspected and I have a gland up and also one of the folicals got infected EWWWW I can hear you all say but it was pretty damn scary to me that is for sure. I have had a cancer scare before and with my Dad and all his cancer problems before he died I was fretting but hey the fretting was for nothing ... and now I have antibiotics for a fortnight because she said she wants to eliminate it totally wooohoooooooo.

I shouldn't keep to myself when things like that happen but it is instinct that I do I think.

I had a sneak preview on the scales this morning thinking that it will be up because of all my stressing etc but it is the same... so ya never know I might loose a little bit by weigh in tomorrow or stay the same and happy with that...

GEESH is this getting to be a habit with me happy to stay the same or gain a little... THIS SUCKS big time and I have to get my head in a better space and sort MY SHIT out....

I don't want to give up!! But I do in a way.... sick of trying trying trying ya know. It isn't like I have given up eating healthy food and doing my exercise as I am still doing 4 days a week of exercise and iti s sweating exercise not just a little stroll down the road ya know.

I have to find one book and stick to it. Or one plan and stick to it. I am reading Helena's bible at the moment and I am thinking it makes sooo much sense so I do feel it is great but then I can't get my head out of pointing either and thinking about doing the online WW too... I can't make up my mind. I don't know whether I am wanting to do the online WW because it is familiar or I am too scared to try something different or what really... quite confused about that. I do realise you are all going through the same thing too but sometimes I just want someone to say Oi this is what you are doing and this is what you are going to stick at and you are going to loose an amazing amount of weight!!!!

Life sucks with weight loss like this!!!

Went to my friends place last night (the one that the other half left) and we had a good chat and she had a cry and so did I. My hubby went (it is his friend that was her other half) and he said the most adorable things to her last night that we are there for her and she said she doesn't want to ruin their friendship and that if G said to stop seeing her then he should do it... and my hubby said "well... (he paused) I don't think I would think too much of him if he put me in that situation because I shouldn't have to choose and if he told me I had to then really he isn't a friend is he because I have opinions of my own and the way he is treating his kids goes against all that I believe in" OMG I had tears in my eyes when he said that and she just looked at him and didn't say anything I think she was scared she was going to cry again.

So anyway after we left there the kids were in the back (now remember they are only 5 and 7) and my 7 year old said 'why isn't uncle G living there anymore?"
and I said "why do you ask"
he said "Adam was upset and said that his Dad isn't living at home anymore"
and I said "Uncle G doesn't live there anymore because he doesn't love Aunty P anymore but still loves Adam and Brianna but it is best that he doesn't live there anymore"
He went quiet and said "Brianna was crying and said that boys don't like her anymore and that her dad doesn't either" and my son said he didn't know what to say to her.

I said to him that he needs to show her that not all boys do not like her and that you will be there for her and Adam as a friend and he said "yes that is a good idea mum" I will tell her next time I see her.... my youngest was saying that he didn't like seeing them both cry.

My husband just squeezed my hand and I cried (trying not to let the kids hear me).... so I think if G does come around that my hubby will be telling him what the kids are saying to each other because P has said it to him but he might be thinking that she is causing trouble and trying to make him feel bad ya know... but now that the kids are saying it to our kids we know it isn't her being mean to G.

I don't quite understand how you can love someone so much and then all of a sudden treat them like crap and not tell them why... she doesn't understand because a week beforehand they were hugging and sorting out their future etc but now he is treating her like she has done like something really bad. Why do people do that? She can't move on because she doesn't know what she has done wrong for it to go like this.

He took $1,000 out of their Visa too and I said to her she needs to stop the Visa because he has stopped his wages going in and said to her he is using the Visa to live on... but she is paying for it. He even phoned and got the hotpoints put over to him as well. Then he got mad because she closed the Visa... damn she did the right thing... he can't expect to get something for nothing aye.

Anyway enough of my rambling... it clears my head so that I don't fret about it ya know... and I do need to know that what I am feeling is right and that I am backing up the right person ya know...

Love ya all
Chubbymum

Missing in action.

Wow I am slack this week aren't I..

Now why didn't any of you say Oi CM where the hell are ya huh!!!!

I haven't updated since Thursday.

I have been doing a wedding at the moment and sorting out things for the business.

I am also reading a book called "The Secret" and OMG it is an amazing book. Jaxx was thinking you might like this book heaps. Not sure why I thought that but if you ever get the chance to read do it aye.

I have been more relaxed with not going to WW in the last 2 weeks too and feeling like I am doing ok. I am not doing anything different really and I am not gaining... and I know for the first couple of weeks it is going to be interesting because I am trying to realise that I can do this without going to WW and that I know all I need to know just that I have to have the confidence to realise that I can do this....

I thought by now that the ladies at WW would have emailed as they usually do if I miss one session but I haven't heard anything in two weeks... which is upsetting in a way because... oh I don't know why just thought maybe they would care hmmmm.

We had visitors for the weekend and I have been on the phone to my friend that her other half left her and last night she talked for 2 hours and 15 minutes and I just let her because she is finding this really hard.

I have been feeling a little bad for siding with her and not with her other half... but he hasn't had the decency to even come over to tell us. She said that his mother turned up in the weekend and had a present and some broccili for her (late but she is always late) and then as she was going to the car my friend said his mother said "can you get G to phone me when he gets home" now my friend thought that things seemed a bit weird and she had to say 'look did you know that G moved out 2 weeks ago" OMG he didn't even tell his mum what was happening...

His kids are still crying themselves to sleep wondering why their dad doesn't love them. I can't believe he would do this... he has always made sure his kids came first always... I mean he really is a nice guy... it is like he has been hit over the head and his whole personality has changed ya know. My hubby can't work out what the problem is but is going to wait for G to contact him but he is not happy with how his friend is treating his kids at all...

It has been good for us though because we talk more about their situation and we are making sure that it doesn't happen to us and we are talking more and I am really happy with how things with us are going because of it. It makes you appreciate your life when you have friends go through this aye.

Well I have been sticking to the 2 V's a week and I thought it would kill me but so far it has been ok.

I am having smaller portions.... but I am doing more exercise and more weights so I think I will stay the same this week but that is ok... I am not gaining while I sort out what is best for me. I am really happy about this... because I am going to do this.