Friday, 7 December 2007

Much Better

Thank you for your concerns.

Found out that it was the milk. The fridge in the garage temperature was turned down and we had some extra milk out there and brought it in the kitchen to use and it was off. I said to Jeremy that my muesli tasted funny but he said no it didn't (but we both forgot it was the first time he had tasted the muesli) so he thought it was normally.. The night before the milk was used in making the dinner as well.

I have been really thinking the last couple of weeks and last week when I went to the gym with hubby I got sooo upset. I got upset because I seem to try and try and not lose the weight as fast as I want to and at the gym hubby kept saying "I am not sure what else to do because I don't think you are doing anything wrong" and then the tears poured out OMG how embarrassing.

I feel this year I am slowly giving up everything.

Gave up my Lean because of nasty bitch Kris, gave up my personal trainer because I just couldn't afford it, gave up weight watchers because the money was an issue but also I could do the same thing at home and I have been doing ok not going and I haven't gone the other way. Now with Kris back at the gym I just don't want to go there either... but I don't know whether I am not wanting to because of her or because this weight loss journey is bothering me now... because I am not getting the results I want.

The problem with me is that I want my cake and eat it too....

I am so unhappy about it at the moment. I went to the gym this morning but I am also sad there because I feel so alone. I never felt like that when I first started. But I feel alone at the gym and the time drags and I hate it.. and maybe it is because Joy isn't there at the gym anymore and I really felt that she cared and encouraged me?? I just don't know anymore.

I am also doing the same with my blog.... sigh...




Anne said...

Sorry to hear you sounding so down. I guess we all have periods like this. Once again - take a look at how far you've come - you have done an amazing transformation of yourself:-) Take care!

celtic_girl said...

Go and take another look at the photo you posted last week. Print it out and stick it somewhere prominent and look at it everytime your feeling down and remember what you felt like back then. I agree with Anne, you have come such a long way, try to work through this little bump in the road. Big hugs my friend.

Lyn said...

Firstly mate ... you ARE doing well!! I'm watching you stick it out, week after week and you keep going and going and going. Doesn't matter that you aren't losing a kilo a week every week ... IT REALLY DOESN'T!!!!! You know why? And you have to truelly get this ... Because this is a lifestyle thing! When I was losing weight first time round I was so focused on getting to that goal figure that nothing else mattered! And like you I was never happy enough with how much I lost because I wanted to be at goal NOW!! And you know what?? When I got there I suddenly realised that the enjoyment should have been in the losing ... not in the anticipation of how I was going to feel at goal. You soooo need to get back to being happy with you!! Because if you're not happy with you now, you won't be happy with you at goal! Self acceptance is not a body thing but a head thing.

Get back to the enjoyment of each week enjoying what you are doing. Enjoying the time at the gym... together! Enjoyment of lifting on weight heavier than last week. Enjoyment of the breath of fresh air when you go for a walk. And stop looking at it as a punishment you have to endure to get to the end. Take time for you, realise who you are, appreciate what you have!! A wonderful adoring husband who LOVES you, would do ANYTHING for you, a group of blogging buddies around you that totally support you, the most adoring smile that lights up the room!! Two absolute gems of boys and make people laugh, a wonderful home that you have both worked hard for, a mother around you that tries so hard to feel like she's helping, a healthy body free of disease AND a plan ... you have a plan of how to achieve your weightloss goals. You will get there babe, but you need to stop and enjoy the view. Rather than ignoring the beautiful flowers infront of you, too focused on the possible garden over the hill.

You love you! Cause we all do!!

just janene said...

Hey Mandy, sorry to hear you are having a bad week, there mut have been something in the air cos I had a pretty shitty week. But you know what? I've done a you-turn (have you finished "YOU on a diet" yet? hehe) and I'm more determined than ever to get out of the 120s, despite my gain this week.

And as for not having fun at the gym, I don't have friends at the gym, never have, probably never will, cos I'm there to do a workout, and the time out alone is a treat in itself :)

Come on girlfriend, chin up, stop overthinking, and just do it, one bite at a time! *hugs*

Helena said...

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. So dont let the weeds take over the garden.

Believe in you and it will happen :)

Love ya *smooch*

Felicity said...

isnt that strange girl that is exactly how I feel lost alone and getting nowhere