Friday, 8 April 2005

Holiday tomorrow - Wellington

Well I have to warn you all that in the next week I might not have time to update on here as I am off to Wellington tomorrow morning wohoooooo... so excited but nervous and upset at the same time.
Upset because I am leaving my mother and the boys home and my mum doesn't drive and if anything happens to the boys I don't know how she can handle it. I get so paranoid about something happening to my family and one little cold sets me for a nightmare too. My dad died of phneumonia (not cancer but was in recovery after 10 years of fighting GEESH) and so I get this fear that I am 8 hours drive away and if anything happens it is such a long way. Yes I am an overprotective mum but I just don't know if I can handle if anything happens to mum or the boys... anyway that off my chest.
But I meet my wonderful online friends this weekend Woohoooo and so excited but nervous... and yep yep I have mentioned that before but I am...
Also I am really anxious about my friend and her winning this Dream Home competition. I haven't been able to sleep properly the last month because I am hoping that they win... and that is not to say that I won't be jealous but she deserves it... I mean she really does she is a great friend and I can count on her for anything she is always there for me.
Been really niggly with food today. Really want something yummy to eat and in a way really bad for me too but I haven't done that today. I am not going to get caught up in thinking oh well I can make up for it tomorrow... I am not!!! because if I do it once then I will find any excuse to do it again and again.
I see people that have lost 30 to 40 kilos and feel soooo jealous of their achievement. I want to be there and keep seeing the 8.3 kilos as just a little amount. Even though when I am wearing my clothes the 8.3 kilos really does make me feel good. I am not having to pull up my undies thinking they are too small now.. as I don't even know what they feel like on anymore which is fantastic and how it should be.
A person that hasn't seen me for a while came to visit my mum today and when I walked in after picking up my son she said "OMG you look fantastic and patted my tummy and said you have lost some of the tummy and in your face too." it felt so good for her to say that. I did feel good and do!
Really tired now and need to go and pack for the weekend. Yep I am really bad for leaving it till the last moment.
Love ya all and can't wait to meet my friends this weekend and thanks for reading.
Love ChubbyMum Steps: 7,894 posted on 8:08 p.m.

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