Monday, 21 May 2007

Fuming

OMG went to school this morning and Quinn's teacher pulled me aside (out in the rain I might add)


She said "I was supposed to talk to you on Friday but didn't get a chance"..


..........ok will give you a background of Sunday first before I say what teacher said ..............


Sunday Corbin came rushing back from two house down (where Jack (little shit)) lives...


Corbin said that the grandmother said that they can't play with Jack as they were lying...


So we said "what did you say Quinn and Corbin said "Quinn said that Jack took his clothes off in the toilets at school" so we asked Quinn if he was lying and he said "No" and so we badgered him a bit more and he said "yes he was lying" so then I didn't know if I had badgered him too much and he just said "yes" to get us off his back or what.


Later that day I said to Quinn "you know you won't go to heaven with your family if you lie and that you will go where the bad people go"... now I know harsh silly mum I am but I wanted him to know the consequences and maybe scare him a little and he said "I didn't lie" so now I am not sure aye..


.............Ok back to the Teacher.....................


We were out in the rain and the teacher said I was supposed to talk to you on Friday but things got away with me and Jack's mother (or grandmother) can't quite remember which one.... has asked his teacher to ask our teacher to have a word with Quinn and us OMG I WAS FUMING.....


I said "this woman lives 2 doors down from us and she couldn't be an adult and come and talk to us... I don't let Quinn get away with things and if he has done wrong then he gets punished" and the teacher said "I understand" I said I talked to Quinn about it and told her about Sunday and what the grandmother said and then I said to her she needs to be an adult and talk to us... because this going through two teachers instead of talking to us is ridiculous... she has coffee with my mum for christ sake....


I said "fine if she wants it to go like this then to be honest I don't want Quinn playing with Jack anymore as I have caught him stealing toys from our house before and he took his pants down and mooned my boys before (as my mum caught him and told him to go home).


I can't believe that they couldn't be grown up about it. The teacher said it would be a shame as Jack doesn't make friends easily and I said well do you wonder why.... she said she will go back to the teacher about it... and was smiling because she knows what Quinn is like as she has him in his class and she said she can understand my point of view... now this teacher says it how she sees it so hey.


So I got down to Quinn's level (after teacher left) and said to him "please tell me the truth as this is getting out of hand and I will not punish you for telling me the truth" he said "I didn't lie" so now I am totally confused and I am going to stick up for my son. I said to him that he isn't allowed to play with Jack anymore and that at home he is to stay away from Jack too.


To be quite honest I am glad as Quinn is not a nice child when around Jack at all. Plus not having Jack ring the door bell 15 times a day would be a blessing too.


I am still angry about it and it is an hour later grrrrrr.


Told my husband and he said he thinks that my decision for them not to play with Jack is fine. The house next door to Jacks, their kids aren't allowed to play with him either so that tells you aye... Jack's parents need to sort him out or he is going to be a very very sad little boy.


I am sooooo not saying that Quinn is perfect... he isn't by any means but he knows right from wrong and they are kids after all.


The thing I am pissed off the most is that they couldn't come to us.... I told my mum and she said that they drove past the other day and usually they wave but they purposely looked down... guilty or what...


10 comments:

Anne said...

Really - why would Quinn lie, I don't believe he would make up something like that. Try not to let it get to you, it does sound like it's better your boys don't play with him so it could all be for the best.

Whoever I want to be said...

I feel for Jack - if it is bad parenting then I hope they can sort it out, but maybe jack has some issues that needs attention more than parenting. In a small way I can see my son in Jack, no matter how I tried he still had issues with others, he didn't know and still does not know how to play with others he was immature and still is - we were lucky he had 1 good neighbour who stuck by him. This friend has been his closest and proberly his only friend all his life. This friend is also 2 years younger and I think that is why the friendship has lasted. (my son used to take his pants down and moon as well but he was still at the age level)I think the reason the friendship lasted with this boy is because they also have a child with Autism and understood, so when he did age inappropriate things they ignored it.
Chris would meet a friend in school and then because he did not know how to behave/act around them they would disappear and he never understood why, Chris didn't realise the way he was acting he was not nice or inappropiate. But I do remember the days he came home in tears because no-one wanted to play with him.I wish I knew then what I knew now....Once we got him sorted on the ADHD meds and got the Aspergers diagnosis Chris changed and I changed my parenting style to help with his Aspergers and though he still finds socialising still hard we are getting there. I can only just imagine the remarks that were made about my parenting back then, my god I thought I was to blame for all his behaviours, but with the right diagnosis and support I feel we are making progress in the right direction, until then the future I saw for my son was not good. Coming from a parent view it was the hardest thing for me not understanding why my son could not play properly with his friends, I could not understand it... I was embarrassed of him, I was embarrassed to see other parents in case he had been bullying their children.I don't know this boy and I don't know any other situations so what I am saying could be way out if so just ignore it all....... It may sound like I am making excuses for my son, but I do believe if we had the help years earlier, his school days and friendships would have been so much more positive.

Chubbymum said...

Sorry Jaxx... I can understand how you feel about your son's situation and that not all situations are the parents fault. What I am angry about is that the parent could come and talk to us. My mum has coffee with her during the days and I am not an unapproachable person.

You could be right that Jack has got some issues but I am not going to be the one to tell her that. I am reallllllly sure the teachers have already spoken about Jack's behaviour.

Kids are going to be kids and after the incidents I have had with Jack I WAS still willing for my boys to play with him as he is a lonely child but for them to make BOTH my boys feel like they are liars and treat them like they did on Sunday that was the last straw and now Jack needs to find new friends because it won't be with my boys.

Lisa said...

Don't know what happened there with my comments thingee, have turned comments back on - gees I would hate to miss lovely comments like yours Thank you.

celtic_girl said...

I'd be pissed off as well, considering the grandmother has coffee with your mum, it's so un called for. Kids usually don't lie about things like that as well, so your right to belive your son.

Lyn said...

I agree with Anne ... why would Quinn lie about something like that??

Go with your gutt feeling and stick up for your son. I agree with not letting them play together. That way too the other parents can't complain that you haven't done anything about it.

Hope this sorts it out for you. That's just what you don't need!

Chris H said...

I'M BAAAACKKKKK... and I love your new photo.. havn't had a chance to read all I've missed.... just toooo much! HOpe you are ok and happy chick.

Christine said...

Your new photo is great - makes me want to get my butt outside and snap some new pictures. Sorry about your crumby day.

Karen and Rachel said...

I agree with the others hun - go with your gut feeling and why would Quinn lie? I too don't believe he would make something like that up.
Hope your week gets better
*hugs*

Tania said...

It's amazing how many issues turn into major ones because people don't communicate the way they should - I would have done exactly the same thing if I was in your shoes!