Thursday, 21 December 2006

Feeling bad - Thursday 21 December 2006

Dec 21, 2006 at 4:11 PM

Feeling bad because I have been eating way way way too much chocolate and a couple a day but the nibbling is the bad thing and not having good breakfasts either. Feeling bloated and unhappy with myself and my face has broken out with three pimples... oh that makes me sooooo upset and mad because meeting the brother in laws girlfriend for Xmas day and I am going to look like a 36 year old spotty teenager grrrr and right on my cheek and by my mouth and on my chin OMG OMG I haven't had pimples like that in years. I think it is all the stress with K and the uncertainty in my job etc that is doing it.

Had the meeting last night about my job and it was a really positive one until the end... now I don't know if I have told you all what I do but I do the accounts for 6 creches and there are 43 creches in NZ that our company deals with (they only took us all over January 2006) and now they have sold us to another company that already has 27 creches so there will be two more in our town and I don't know if they have any financial administrators or not and so last night they mainly talked about the teachers jobs etc etc and since I was the only financial administrator I got more and more tense by the end of the night and my old boss that sold our creche last year was there and saw that I was getting upset came over and talked to me and I burst out in tears and then the new owners saw that and I felt like such a fool!!!

I mean a 36 year old crying like a baby but I was worried I was going to lose my job just after Xmas. She said NO you have continuing employment and there will be no changes to your pay or your hours but there might be a change to your job description and really I don't mind as the only reason I am working there is because the hours really work well with the kids etc...

But I am going through like a mid life crisis at the moment!! I don't know what to do with my life. I have three things that I am torn between and I don't know what I want to do... I am scared and I feel soooo distraught about it all.

I don't know whether I want us to buy this franchise we have been looking in to (I am scared because I have never ever owned a business and it is a huge risk for us).

I also want to be a Life Coach but that costs money and then I wonder after all these problems with K that I want to get involved and help people if they turn out to be stalkers like K.

I would love to own a craft shop and sell and make things in the craft shop and just be creative.
Three things that I am torn about at the moment and hubby just says do what you wouldl ike to do and really I don't know how to chose... what do you think? How do I chose? What will help me decide. I have done the pros and cons for all and they are all similar.

Or is life better the way it is being not complicated and being free to do whatever. I just feel that I am wasting my time now that I could be doing something to make my life later easier etc...

OHHHH I DON'T know!!

Going to my PT session with Joy and Debbie tonight so that should be good!

I must admit that exercise has not been as full on in the last couple of weeks and maybe that is the reason I am losing now??? just a thought!!!

Love ya all


Chris H wrote:
Dec 22, 2006 at 9:24 PM
You have way too much going on in your life right now to be making huge decisions re: jobs, craft shop, life coach etc etc! That's why you've broken out in pimples!! At some stage one of your options is going to just stand out, give it time.... Don't make any rash decisions. Try to unwind over the holidays, just enjoy the season and let the rest fade for a while. You are probably overeating etc from stress/emotional reasons... we all know about that. And remember, if it doesn't feel "right" then it probably isn't.

pink-elephants wrote:
Dec 23, 2006 at 2:52 PM
Hi hun so pleased u invited me to join in your journey. Wishing you a happy and restful Christmas my friend.

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