Wednesday, 1 November 2006

Weigh In last night

I felt so great at work today... I couldn't stop smiling and I am feeling so much healthier with my food and with my exercise and I have really really tried in the last couple of weeks after getting back from Wellington.

Went to weigh in tonight and I stayed the same and it really bothered me because I HAD made good choices and I HAD been really good with the exercise and I suppose I can't complain because in the last 5 weigh in's I have not gained not one bit.... I have lost and once stayed the same but not gained.

I even drank all my water and more every single day... I MEAN EVERY SINGLE DAY because I wanted so bad to loose this week. I had 900grams to get to my 5th stone.

I got a little upset at the meeting in front of my WW leader but at that point I was wondering what was the point... I mean I am doing this to lose this bloody weight and when I try really hard and stick to my points and my sugar points and my exercise and I stay the same it just hurts that I concentrated on it sooo hard and nothing!!!

I felt like a little baby but I have paid sooo much money going to Weight Watchers and the gym and I would like to see results... It is my spending money I spend on this and I don't get to buy or do much else because of it and for it to not work feels like I am wasting my money and I could do the same thing without spending the money.. I know that with my health that money isn't everything but I am not happy about spending money for nothing as I work damn hard for it.

I have to start doing this for me and eating what I want... I have been on this challenge with Crusher and it was my first week and I know she is going to tell me to stick to it but to be honest I am hating it!! I have the same breakfast and lunch most days and it is driving me insane.

I am going to go back to the plan she gave me before I went away to Wellington as the two weeks preceeding that plan I lost 1.1 and 1.2 kilos... so it was good for me and I didn't feel like it was restrictive.

Hubby was saying that when I know for sure I can't have something and when it is the same old same for days on end that I end up going the wrong way because I am hating thinking about food.

It shouldn't be this hard... how do others do it?

I was soooo angry that after dinner hubby and I went for a walk and it is a 3.3 km walk and every second light I ran... I am paying for it today as my knee has flared up again.

Went to LEAN this morning and once again felt like it was all out of my depth where everyone was improving and I was stuck at the back. I am going to be going until the triathlon and then I think I am going to give it up.... I hate this feeling and I am hating being outside all the time. I quite enjoyed our old lean with our old team and doing things inside and outside and now it isn't as much fun, I miss the laughing and the friendship.

I miss the challenges on the treadmill and the rower and the bikes and doing weights as well... it was more interesting but now it feels like walking and running all the time and I can't run or I pay for it the next day and to be realistic the reason my knee isn't getting any better is because everytime it starts feeling good I over do it again and it can't quite fully get better...

What do I do? I need some input on what people think?

Pineapple (Fresh)




Sue said...

You know what you need? A great big hug from me! I'm sorry I can't give you one, but I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

You have persevered for so long, and achieved so much, you know you can get through this. Sometimes our bodies just decide to piss us off, so we don't always lose or gain when we expect to.

You are feeling down - battle through it, because you know the losses will come and you will feel better. All this hard work IS worth it - you're happier and healthier than you used to be, and your darling boys and husband can look forward to having you around much longer than they would have if you hadn't made all these changes.

I think something you could focus on is finding the motivation within yourself. Yes, other people can inspire you and help you, but true motivation will come from your own head and heart. You have such a big heart, you need to take some of the love in there for yourself.

Keep going, darling.

celtic_girl said...

I know how you are feeling now but you have come so very far and have been a winner all the way. I know it is hard but don't dwell on the negative's focus on the achievments you have encountered and gotten through. I learnt a long time ago in relation to other people even though we perceive them to be "better" or things seem to be easy for them, it usually isn't so - we all have our crosses to bear in some form or another.
I agree with Sue, true motivation has to come from within and acheived for your own wellbeing.I think your doing a fanatastic job, you need to be a bit kinder to yourself. Hugs from across the Tasman

fjdagg said...

Hun you are doing great hell look at where you were 12mths ago.

Now some constructive comments on your food

The nutritionist I went to a few mths ago said to build brdges between meals bridges of food to gget u thru till next meal her example was running a car you wouldn't start driving to wellington on an empty tank and u wouldn't just put $10 of gas in it. So start the day eating something from eat food group ff the pyramid Her example was slice of whole grain bread with omega marg and marmite(apparnetly the energy from marg and marmite has great power)or an egg on the toast, a banana has at least 30 mins power if not 45. some wholegrain cereal(ya weetbix) with dairy

You can do this girl

happy_p_114 said...

Hey there,
just want to say thanks for the invite to new blog,

stick in there it hard, but you are determined and in time you will get where you want.


Helena said...

awwwwwwwww sweet cheeks, our bodies do it just to piss us off! You are so much more disciplined with your food than I and I take my hat off to ya. I reckon I've worked out what motivates me ... fear. Lose the fear and you lose the motivation. I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately and I'll do a post in the next few days to talk about it. Food for thought - what terrifies you? Cos thats what will challenge you.

Rachel said...

I totally agree with Sue and Helena.

I'm thinking of you sweets and keep up the good work - its gotta show up eventually......LOL

Janene said...

Oh CM, I feel for ya, and know exactly what you're going through. Keep persevering cos that body of yours will have to submit soon and let go of a few more kgs for you. We will both make it to 99kgs, we truly will!!!


tracy said...

I can understand why you are so frustrated and I know you won't give up. You must be feeling so much healthier these days & you are achieving so much physically & mentally. You have been a real inspiration to me so much so I am even doing more excersice - the days I feel like flagging it I remember that you get up at some ungodly hour & work your arse off. I can get out of bed, go downstairs to the overpriced gym crap we have down there & work for half an hour & still have time to do all the other stuff I have to do before school & work.

Hippygal said...

You are doing well, and it will happen - have a great weekend :)