Tuesday, 13 June 2006

Losing control

I am not feeling too happy tonight.

I gained 500 grams. Ok I have my monthly and usually gain with it but for the last 2 weeks I have really tried and I have stayed the same and gained. What the hell am I doing wrong.

I took the advice of my WW leaders and they were right with the things I was doing wrong but it didn't work for me. I did the popcorn suggestion and more salads and eating more in the first half of the day instead of all at night... but it hasn't helped me and I just feel like screaming.

Came home early tonight partly because I got a text from hubby about Corbin not being well but I didn't need to come home he said but I was seething that I just had to... I wouldn't have taken in much of the meeting at all.

I feel useless and I have been yoyoing from losing 25 to 26 to 25 to 26 kilos and it is PISSING ME OFF... I sat in the car and thought well maybe I just need to stop going to WW for a while because I am really wasting my money! I haven't changed in my weight since February and I cannot say it is anyones fault but my own really but for Christ sake... a year ago I was eating WAY more and doing absolutly NO exercise and in 2 years I had only gained 2 kilos from the last time I had been to WW. So why can I gain 500 grams in 1 week and feel like a complete and utter useless bitch!

I am doing 4 to 5 days of exercise a week. I am pushing myself like you wouldn't believe and this bullshit about muscle.. can only be used a little and not for all this crap that is going on with me not losing weight. I mean I even drank all my water every single day this week and if you have been reading for a while you know how much I HATE water...

I haven't had takeaways like for a bloody year! I haven't had cheese like I used to either.

I don't know what else to do!

I am at a loss! I am going to track again this week! Keep to it and drink that horrible water and do my exercise! But if I have not lost anything next week then that is it! I am going to give up Weight Watchers for a couple of weeks because in all honesty I cannot afford to waste my money again if things are going well.

I want last year back again when I was losing! Why isn't it working? I don't think I have gone back to my old ways. My husband doesn't think that I have been bad with my food either and cannot understand it. He is going to watch me closely this week and point out things on my tracker and we shall see what happens.

Anyway signing off for now as I am just making myself angrier.


No comments: