Thursday, 22 June 2006

Life is so hard! How to change?

Ok so it is 7.50 in the morning and I am getting angry at myself.

I went to LEAN this morning and worked my backside off but I have to realise that not only exercise will work.. I have to get my mind set right for the food and really go all out and track track track.

Took my family out for dinner last night because I wanted to go out as we don't go out for dinner the whole lot of us often. I am not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing... it was to Valentines... I tried my hardest to choose wisely. For starters I had shrimp and prawns and muscles and had a teaspoon of sauce... (and I mean a teaspoon as I was trying my hardest to make it work). Then I got some hot food.. it was a piece of steak, roast potatoes (hmmm not sure if that was a good choice) LOTS of carrots and salad and coleslaw. Then for dessert hmmmm now this is where I tried not to go overboard but I did have a little. I had a tiny square of cheesecake (enough for a bite) and an eclair. To finish I had a coffee... I am upset about going for the dessert but in my mind I have to know that I can go out and have what I would like but in moderation... I wasn't stuffed when I left like I have been soooo many times before starting this.

I want to lose this week and OK I went out for dinner and it wasn't that perfect but I have to do this and for the rest of the week I am going to track and put it in here... any suggestions would be appreciated.

I am going to get my hair cut and coloured today... sooooo looking forward to it but scared because I haven't been to this hairdresser before and someone recommended it and I have always liked her hair. So let's see what happens.

Why have I lost enthusiasm for weight loss? I have so many wonderful people supporting me and I have the exercise TOTALLY under control and I thought I had the food under control but it isn't happening.

I thought about doing the wendy plan and varying my points for the week to see what I can do.

I have had so many compliments re my weight in the last week it is making me feel quite strange. I keep telling them in the last 6 months I have only really lost 5 kilos but they say they are seeing the difference. One lady has only known me since start of school this year... and she didn't know I was going to weight watchers etc... so maybe I am changing shape.

I am hating myself at the moment... I have to say it! I want the scales to go down! I hate the number 127 I hate it! I hate it! I know I am improving in other ways like my fitness is awesome now and I have more energy but I want to get under the 120's and I don't want it to take a year to get there. How come other people can lose like 50 kilos in 50 weeks and I can't... I know it is me that is stopping me but HOW am I doing it! I am being honest in my tracker and I am doing the work at the gym.

I know I have gone over this so many times in here but I just can't understand what I am doing wrong. I even had my dinner on a side plate last week for a couple of meals and I managed to gain 100grams this week. SHIT!!!

Anyway better go have a shower and take son to school.

Love ya all. I will update later on with MAYBE a photo of my hair cut he he he.


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