Sunday, 20 March 2005

Diaryland has been down again

Well I have been trying since Saturday to update but diaryland has been down (once again).
Friday I wrote about my work and was really upset when I wrote it but really it wasn't that big!! I will get over it I know... I wasn't angry with the people but the fact that my boss would go and apologise for me... if I thought that I had done something wrong and had upset someone I would have gone and apologised and when it happened the guy's face laughed and we were talking afterwards and I am certain he would have told me if there was anything that I said that he didn't like.

Just thought I would clarify it as I am not a person that holds a grudge that is for sure. Life is too short.

My weekend has been pretty good and everytime I put on one of my baggy t shirts it feels even baggyer around my arms.... I thought that the t-shirt was like stretching but all my shirts are doing it... around the arms and the tummy. I know I have only lost 5 kilos (11 pounds) but I feel such a difference and also in my self esteem like I am lighter and feel more energy to do things with the kids.

Went for a walk at 1pm today in the heat OMG almost died at the time as I was sweating but I felt really good afterwards as I had done my exercise. I also went on the swiss ball while watching ice age with the kids.... for an hour anyway... my thighs are a little sort but not as much as they would have been when I first started. I just bounced up and down and did twists with my tummy.... yeah I know it was a lot of exercise but at least I did it. My support team said I should walk in place while watching tv but I would get soooo bored with that that I wouldn't want to do it anymore.

My kids are wanting to use my laptop today and they have their own computer. OMG sometimes I wish I had never taught them how to use the computer he he he... but then again Corbin was playing solitaire today and I was soooo proud of him because it got him counting down and up and learning about kings and queens and jacks too. It was good that he was concentrating and it was also teaching him at the same time. Not bad for a 5 year old I must say. The only thing is is that he wants to do it on my computer ARGGHHHH.

Gone over in my points in the last couple of days... I have got my exercise points to use and still have 5 points left but spread it over the daily points and it seems ok but I still feel like I am cheating when I do that.

My support group has an 8 week challenge that I am soooo looking forward to. I want something that I can grit my teeth into... I have the autumn challenge with sfl but I also wanted to do another one with my support group as it helps me keep things going. I really want to get to the 10 kilos... it feels sooo unreachable but I have to do it.

I have stopped myself thinking about the 70 more kilos that I have to loose and I am thinking in 5 kilo lots (11 pounds). I still can't get over the feeling I felt when I lost the first 5 kilos and got my star... I don't want my BLONDE friend to get to the 6.3 (stone) before me... I would REALLY hate it. I mean God she has only 10 kilos to loose and I have 70 and she will get to her goal wayyyy before me I know it but I still don't want the milestones gotten to first. She will never get to the stage that she has lost 15 or 20 or 30 kilos... but the first 5 kilo and stone and 10 kilo I don't want her tooo.... yep it sounds selfish... yes it does but she has done everything before me in life and I want it to be my time... and that is also keeping me going. We go to dinner or out to lunch and guys stop and stare at her and I understand that... I am a big girl but I don't care really too much as I have a fabulous husband and I know she wishes she did too. I don't want to be second best anymore!! I want them to look at me and I do know that it is going to be a while before they do and not that I am going to do anything but feel happy that I am a looker now too... so this is going to keep me going!!! it is!!!

I am meeting some wonderful and inspirational ladies on the 10th April... and I cannot wait. I mean altogether they have lost (with my 5 kilos) 140.8 kilos!!! that is almost me for crying down the sink... OMG that is fantastic. I want to meet these wonderful ladies and get to know them and their struggles... and so that next time I meet them maybe at the end of the year when I go down to Wellington again they can see a difference in me and they will probably be at goal. So that is another thing that will keep me going.

Well this is getting to be a novel he he he he I better get on with playing with the kids and doing dinner he he he

posted on 1:02 p.m.

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