Much Better

Thank you for your concerns.

Found out that it was the milk. The fridge in the garage temperature was turned down and we had some extra milk out there and brought it in the kitchen to use and it was off. I said to Jeremy that my muesli tasted funny but he said no it didn't (but we both forgot it was the first time he had tasted the muesli) so he thought it was normally.. The night before the milk was used in making the dinner as well.

I have been really thinking the last couple of weeks and last week when I went to the gym with hubby I got sooo upset. I got upset because I seem to try and try and not lose the weight as fast as I want to and at the gym hubby kept saying "I am not sure what else to do because I don't think you are doing anything wrong" and then the tears poured out OMG how embarrassing.

I feel this year I am slowly giving up everything.

Gave up my Lean because of nasty bitch Kris, gave up my personal trainer because I just couldn't afford it, gave up weight watchers because the money was an issue but also I could do the same thing at home and I have been doing ok not going and I haven't gone the other way. Now with Kris back at the gym I just don't want to go there either... but I don't know whether I am not wanting to because of her or because this weight loss journey is bothering me now... because I am not getting the results I want.

The problem with me is that I want my cake and eat it too....

I am so unhappy about it at the moment. I went to the gym this morning but I am also sad there because I feel so alone. I never felt like that when I first started. But I feel alone at the gym and the time drags and I hate it.. and maybe it is because Joy isn't there at the gym anymore and I really felt that she cared and encouraged me?? I just don't know anymore.

I am also doing the same with my blog.... sigh...

Chubbymum

9299

Sad

I am a little sad today..

Have an upset tummy don't know if it is a bug or not...

But can't seem to sort it out... and NOOOOOO if anyone is going to say it I AM NOT PREGNANT... just been through a week of monthly GEESH...

But it feels like morning sickness.. really weird.... but I am certainly no pregnant and can say that for sure.

PHEWWW

I wish the holidays would just hurry up.

Chubbymum

9189

Weigh In Results

..............................................................

Weight last week: 119.9

Weight loss this week: 119.3 kgs

Loss/Gain: Loss 600 grams

Total loss from WW: 35.4 kgs

Total loss from start: 40.7 kgs

..............................................................

Ok... I am happy that I lost 600 grams but I thought it would be more. I really thought I did better this week and it wasn't what I thought I should have lost. I understood my gain last week because of my monthly etc... I don't know little sad.

But that is fine I am going to get off my backside and get more off this week.. I don't want to yoyo anymore!!! I don't... getting really upset about it.

Got up and went to the gym this morning with hubby at 8.30am

Did the following:

1. Managed to do Went to the gym today. Ran on the treadmill for 1 minute 30 seconds at a time. Increased it by 30 seconds x 3. So happy with that.



2. Worked on my arms and thighs and spent a lot of time with heavier weights



3. Did some thigh crunchers on the inside and the outside of the thighs... made the mistake to go on the spin bike afterwards arghhhhhhh.



4. Went on the spin bike 30 seconds up 30 seconds down for 5 minutes. Great workout. Going again tomorrow. I have to get back in to my exercise

When I look at this it doesn't look like much but I worked me butt off and I sweated a lot too so that is great.

Came home had breakfast and then went up and thoroughly did over our bedroom and ensuite and got rid of a lot of stuff and cleaned and the kids helped too.

Pam and Brianna came over for lunch and we ate outside and then came in and made Xmas cards... it was fun. We went from 2 till 6 pm making cards OMG it went so fast we didn't realise the time. Now sitting here while hubby makes dinner... yummmmy.

It is our date night tonight so we are going out for a coffee and maybe get a video and come back and watch it... only because there is nothing on at the movies that we want to see but can't afford to go out SIGHHH but tha tis Christmas for ya... would rather spend the money on something else.

Now hubby and I are going out for the night woohoooo.... tell ya about it later.

Awards!!!

OMG OMG OMG

I have had just a great honour given to me from Lyn it is the following

Thank you Lyn you had me crying with your words and as I said on your comment my hubby was looking at me all concerned on why I was crying. I feel the same way and so wished you lived closer.

I'm passing this onto a couple of friends and if you have already received them well... shows ya that you are special then aye.

Lyn for the emails and for the listening when I have needed it and for the fact that when we do get together it is like we have known each other for years and we can just sit in a room and we don't have to say anything or talk but just know we are there... that is the great thing about our friendship... just being.

Janene... OMG girl you have kept me on track in the last couple of months and being my email buddy has been a life saver because without you I would have eaten us out of house and home. Our chats everyday are great and also the way that you can ALWAYS find the good in everything... You inspire me to keep going.

Leenie... Girl without reading your blog 3 years ago I wouldn't be here today... without your calm approach to life and weight loss I think I would have gone insane... you are sooo funny too and amazing.. words can't explain how you inspire me to keep going because if you can do it so can I. Your generosity is beyond what I have come across too... and we have the same taste in clothes... lucky for me but not so much for you he he he.. Thank you!!

Rachel... Feels like you have my life sometimes..... meaning I read your blog about your boys and I feel as if you know me... or you are me with our families. I enjoy reading your blog and I am really glad that I met you... but he he he still don't think I will let you drink when we go out anymore he he MWAHH girl...

Lee-Anne... You hun are amazingly caring, funny, sweet, and so so so many things I can't even start here or I will be here forever. Thank you... thank you for being there for my birthday... Thank you for being you!! Thank you for our dinners out... can't wait to see how beautiful you are at your wedding next year... you are just adorable.

There are many many many more of you who inspire me too and I am sorry if I didn't mention you but you all know that if I am reading you YOU mean the world to me.

Went to the gym this morning YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I have been avoiding the gym... a little bored I think maybe or that I don't like going by myself on a Friday morning.... I do miss going with Kris... not that I miss her but it didn't seem like such a chore when I had someone to go with and someone that I didn't have to compete with exercise wise ya know... sigh... but I don't wanna go back there but it is a little lonely.

Was proud of myself getting back there and felt better for it that is for sure.

The rest of the morning was making some Xmas cards and then had a lovely pampering shower did the face mask etc etc and then dropped mum off in town to shop while Jero and I went to the bank... I always feel that I am some naughty school girl when we go to the bank he he he to borrow... but anyway.. it was fantastic.

Got money for the caravan and the concrete and extra to pay off the credit card and NEVER have a bigger limit again he he he..

Feeling great as it was approved on the spot he he he and then went over some insurance things because I keep telling Jero that we are paying too much for things... so we have a lot of quotes to look over tonight and I think we are going to save some money woohooooooo soooo pleased.

So went in at 12 and came out at 2.15 arghhhhh and had enough time to go to the sushi place (oops after I picked up my mum an hour later oops) and then ate my sushi in the car while waiting for school to finish...

Decided tonight we would drop off mum at bingo and do the groceries with the boys so that our whole weekend wasn't taken up by grocery shopping (as I hate it with a passion). It was great to get it finished.

Plan for this weekend is to go to the gym both Saturday and Sunday morning to get back in to the routine of exercise... I get soooo moody when I haven't had enough exercise and so I have to stop putting it off.

OMG OMG OMG I have to stop pissing around with this weight loss.... I have to get back in to the exercise as I am in the swing of tracking.... just need to get to it now...

Chubbymum

9129

Thought it was a non day

Didn't do much today...

It is funny... well not funny but I wasn't going to write in here today because I didn't do much for my day off.

I just wanted to eat and eat today.. not good things either. I don't think I did too bad but bread and all things carb were what I wanted... I think this happens everytime I just come off having my monthly it is the weirdest thing ever... but then I have felt soooo fullllll all day after eating it too.. really uncomfortably full where my bra felt bad.

Gotta be good tomorrow... gotta.

Took boys to school early because Quinn had to be there early as they were catching the bus to the pools for their lessons. They do it for a full week and tomorrow THANK GOODNESS is the last day. But we (mum and I) decided we would go and watch. So we took Quinn to his class and then went to Corbin's class to show the Digital Scrapbook brag book I made for my mum. Then I got roped he he he in to doing 2 scrapbook pages for the class so the teacher can give it to them all for end of year arghhhhhhh... so I have to do that next what shall I do? What shall I do?

So anyway going back to the car to go to the pools there was a mum and her little girl and the girl was sobbbbing and gasping the little girl had missed the bus... but she was in for roll call and then the bus went without her OMG I was pissed.. imagine if it was my son that happened to. So I said to the lady that I was going was it ok if I take her and she said yes (we had seen each other around the school before). I got there and said to the little girls teacher that she had left her behind... she said "she was late and is always late" I said "she was there for roll call but you didn't manage to do one on the bus" she started to argue (the old bitch) and I said well I guess you will be taking it up with the the principal. My mum looked at me and I said to her "I am sorry but I am not arguing with you about it you can sort it out when you get back" and said to mum "are you ok mum let's go in and see my son swimming".... Man that woman had my blood boiling. Whether the child is late or not they should NEVER leave a child behind and if this child is always late then maybe they should be weary of that and tell her an earlier time don't you think? Anyway

Went and watched them swimming it was great as you can see below... Quinn and Tahlia Rose couldn't be separated. They learnt about calling for help today and how to scream help and what they could use to float on.

Quinn has grommets in his ears and that explains the hat and the string coming down he he he I swear he looks like a girl with it on he he he too cute a face I reckon. He was having a ball and couldn't stop smiling the whole time.

Went to The Base afterwards to send some mail and then I had a cellphone call from the school saying that Corbin had hurt his hand at cricket and that she had put a cold press on it and sent him back to school but he came back 10 minutes later saying it was soooo sore so she called me and got an appointment to go to take him to the doctor. So I got there and he didn't seem happy but as the secretary said it hasn't come up in a bruise or swollen so she was wondering if maybe he had broken something.

Said to Corbin lets go and get your bag and when he went in to get his bag he lifted it with his hand (that was sore) hmmmm both the teacher and I looked at him. I quietly went to him and said that he picked up his bag with his sore hand and he said it was sore... so I talked to the teacher and said it is only an hour till the doctors appointment and if there is nothing wrong I will bring him home. The only reason I did that was because he has NEVER had a day off school sick and with all we have been doing in the last couple of weeks I think maybe a little time with me might be something he wanted.

We came home and I had a word with him and said that it costs to go to the doctor and that is a christmas present that I couldn't buy and that if he wasn't sore then it would be nice for him to tell me. He said it was really sore and so we had a deal that we would stay home till 12 and then if it was better he would go back to school... we had a huge talk and it was nice.

I thanked him for making me breakfast this morning... OMG I got up and there was a coffee and 2 toast with avocado sitting there waiting for me and he had made his and Quinn's lunches and was sooo proud. So while he was home I said to him that I was really proud of him for making me breakfast etc today and he said "Mum you always do so much for us and always there for me and I wanted to do something nice" I said thank you and my heart sank thinking what a wonderful boy I have.

Needless to say I took him back to school and he was fine.

Spent the afternoon at home reading some magazines... it was a non day... just felt grotty all day and wanted as I said before carbs all day... I should have not listened to that but nope nope nope I didn't... that is life aye.

So little time....

Wearing another one of Rachels tops today he he he snigger snigger.. feeling quite sexy.

Only 4 weeks to go till Xmas.. OMG does anyone else feel that the year has gone too fast.

Work is going to be bore bore boring today.. one of the creches Directors is away and so I haven't got their work to do grrrrr so that pisses me off... so the day is going to be slow. Think I might do some digital scrapbooking from work he he he... what is a girl to do huh.

Been a bit overwelmed in the last week... there are so many creative things I want to do and when I go to think about doing it I get interrupted by kids or mum and I just wanna be left alone to do it... I suppose that is what happens when you have a family.

I have so many great ideas for Xmas cards and Scrap pages but then I go to do them and I get this... OMG they are not good enough feeling and then all my creative juices just go away... it is the weirdest thing. I suppose it is because I am a Virgo and I am very much a perfectionist... and I think that goes in to the weight loss part of me too... that if I am not perfect then I tend to go on the back burner until my mind says you are doing well... hmmmm I know it makes sense in my mind but reading it... doesn't make sense he he he sigh.

Quinn's class is doing swimming lessons all this week so I have had to leave work early in the morning to take them to school by 8.30 instead of 9am because of their bus leaving for the pools early.. and OMG on the first day he left his swimming stuff on the floor of the garage.. I could have strangled him as I had to go back for it and was a couple of minutes late... teacher was not impressed grrrrr...

On the weightloss front... last week I got my monthly grrr so had a gain last week but I think I am back on track for going down in the scales.. won't be a big loss as I only just finished my monthly yesterday but still going down. I am still tracking and not always making the best choices but I am not doing too bad with keeping within my points so I am happy with that... and the tracking is the main thing aye because it makes you aware of what is going in the mouth.

I have cut down with my V's soooo much you wouldn't believe. I was having 1 a day and now I had first week with 1 in that week and the next week with 2 in the week after... and to be honest I am not enjoying them as much as I used to... so that is a bonus change for me. Saving me a lot of money too he he he.

Water isn't a problem like it used to be... I used to hate water with a passion but haven't minded it in the last three weeks so that is good too.

Been sooo busy with the kids and mums things lately... that I am started to feel like I am just a taxi for everyone...

Milo Soccer, Roller Skating dates, Swimming, Keas (scouts), Keas sleepover, Bingo for mum three nights a week... and not much time for me to do things without having someone there... sometimes I would just like a day that I don't have hubby, kids or mum around.. but I suppose that will never happen.

Corbin was given a form last week as he has had a music aptitude (spelling?) test done and that they want him to learn an instrument. Apparently only a couple of kids a year out of the school have the chance and they get tutors in (it costs the parents of course) $12.50 a half an hour OMG I know it doesn't sound like much but that adds up if they do it every week... but anyway he is allowed to either learn, drums, saxophone, trumpet, clarinet, or flute.. now he said he wanted to learn the saxophone and if he can't then the flute... wellllll I put my foot down on the flute.

If you all don't know already I used to teach the flute and have played at the Tokyo Expo with my flute and travelled playing around NZ and Australia..... and one thing I know is that boys playing the flute get teased as if they were gay... yes I know there is nothing wrong with being gay but with red hair, glasses I am not going to add anything else that can make his life a living hell in intermediate or high school.... I said to him in a nice way that I would prefer if he went for the saxophone or clarinet or drums and that way we can play in a duet together as two flutes aren't as nice... so that has satisfied him at the moment...

So how cool that my son is following in my footsteps with music... it is such a treasure I just can't explain. Mind you his singing is fabulous too... so we might have a fight on our hands together trying to beat each other later on he he he he (we both love sing star).

Anyway I have rambled on enough today... feeling quite glad that I have weeded out my list now to people I know and trust... thank you.

UPDATE:

I have been re-reading through my blog to get some inspiration because I don't want to fall in to not getting this weight off and I found the following link OMG it has made me really take a look at things aye.. I don't wanna go back to this. It just isn't something I want to let happen again.

Chubbymum

9027

Feeling great today

Ok...

So I wore one of the beautiful tops that Rachel gave me today....

Here it is

I felt really dressed up for work today he he he.. I mean I usually wear my three quarter jeans and a nice shirt as we just don't get dressed up for work. I didn't go for my morning walk either because it would have been too hot he he he... but that is ok I felt like a lady for the day.

Went to take the boys to school and there is an autistic boy (the couple that got married on radio son's Max) and he looked at me and said WOW very pretty... I was taken aback. His mum said when he likes something someone is wearing he will not hesitate to tell them... it was the best compliment coming from Max because he doesn't say much usually... so I was walking with my head high today.

I have weeded out a lot of my permissions yesterday on this blog.... for some reason it has been bugging me that a lot of people were reading but not commenting and it was mainly people that I haven't had a comment from yet or only once and I was getting like 100 hits a day but no comments and it made me weary that maybe it could be someone reading I don't want to read.

I am paranoid after what Kris did to me last year and I don't write what I want to anymore like I used to because I don't know the people... but now I have people that I know or have met or I am reading their blogs now and it makes me feel comfortable again.

Talking about Kris... did I tell you that she is back at the gym again... she came up to me (in the middle of me running on the treadmill... what is up with people.... when I am running I CANNOT talk at the same time leave me alone until I am on weights GEESH) anyway apparently she has gained 20 kilos since the start of the year and also that they are thinking about moving to Dubai in March 2008 OMG... but that will be good.. I will be glad that she will be somewhere else. Not sure how long it will last but I don't feel comfortable around her anymore and the further away the better.

My oldest Corbin won't be happy when he hears though because Ashley (Kris Daughter) is in his class and they sort of like each other and he said that they told each other that they had a crush on each other the other week OMG..... I won't be telling him just yet that they MIGHT be moving as I will believe it when I see it because she says so many things that never come true.

Apparently there is more money to be made over there and there well may be more money to be made but how much money can ya spend before you are in debt again and have nothing to show for it.. not even a house huh... makes ya wonder.. well it certainly makes me wonder how her husband makes WAY more than mine and hubby's put together and they never have any money (they don't have a mortgage and their rent is less than our mortgage)... but anyway..... not saying that you should have a house or anything but there is no stablity... they have so many credit cards and he works like a dog and nothing to show for all the hard work... seems a waste... but I suppose each to its own aye.

Went to The Warehouse last week quickly to get some stuff for a present I am making my mother in law and I saw Kris (but pretended not to) only because I needed to get the stuff and back out as fast as I could as I had to go and do some stuff with mum...

But anyway I walked a really long way around and in and out of eisles so that I would get away from her and she managed to find me OMG... and made it out that she was looking at the same eisle... now unless you were following me you couldn't have gotten to the same place as me at the same time... so I just kept looking at the shelves and could see her in my side vision and turned and walked to another part of The Warehouse and in 10 seconds (I SWEAR) she was right there... bloody hell..... I didn't wanna get into one of her talks about Daniel... so went to the checkout and still pretended not to see her.. it was quite funny but spooky at the same time....

Normally I would have just said Hi but was feeling like I was being stalked and it didn't feel good at all so I wasn't going to accept that at all.

Anyway that was off my chest... been wanting to tell it in my blog but.... felt like it was being a bitch but ya know what... it is my blog he he he and I have to start getting things off my chest and so that is that.

Weight loss last week sucked even though I was good.. got the dreaded TOM grrrrrr but hopefully this week will be good. If not hey that is life...

Been sooo busy with the boys and Scouts (Keas), Milo cricket, sleepovers in the last couple of weeks and with Christmas and also it was my mums birthday yesterday and I have been doing a brag book for her... so as usual my life was full on.

Thanks for the text yesterday ChrisH....(mwah)

Might update later... going to the gym after work today.. not sure if I am in the mood for it as it is hot but hey gotta do what I gotta do he he

Love Chubbymum