Thursday, 7 January 2016

Anxiety, Archery

Had a meltdown today with all the things I want to achieve and not having enough time and feeling like I am doing everything for everyone but myself.

Jeremy made me realise I can only do what I can do and that I need to make a list and try to achieve all that I want.  I can't seem to sit and do one thing without worrying about the fact that I need to do other things.  So my card classes suffered when I was doing weight loss and my weight loss suffered when I did my weight loss.  I couldn't seem to sit and do my crafts when I had even gone for a walk or done the gym because I felt guilty that I wasn't doing more exercise.  I know it is stupid but that is what I am like.  We are spending so much time taking Quinn to his inline hockey as he plays for the school team, the club, DJ's on Friday (for money) and referees and then the training as well as the games.  Corbin has his archery.  Mum goes to Bingo three nights a week so we have to take her and pick her up and then the 40 to 50 hours a week I work.   Where do I get the time... when there are dinners to make and chores to do and and and and.......

He is the most amazing husband ever and he listened to my rambling and my crying and feeling like I have to wait for the boys to be older before I do anything for me.  He said that I just need to be realistic and I need to plan.  OMG I have 40 things on my to do and they are big things not just make a card etc..... so I have made a plan for different things for the year and broken them down in little chunks to see if I can get it done.

Once that was sorted in my head (we went to the park and walked the dog while talking about this so we could work on solutions).

That afternoon we took Corbin to Archery Direct to have a go in the lanes as you can hire them for an hour at a time.  Corbin was having a ball of time.  He isn't really good at showing it though as he is very much an introvert but I think he had fun.  He brought himself a case for his bow he got for his birthday in August and a case that goes on his waste for the arrows out of the money he got for his Christmas present from his uncle and aunt.

I got back in to doing some digital scrapbooking last night too.  I love doing my digital scrapbooking but got out of it because I was being too much of a perfectionist instead of thinking that I need to get the story down.  The whole point is to tell the story for us and our children for the future... I seem to forget that sometimes.

Yes.... I am a nutter..... I have major anxiety issues which have been getting worse and worse over the last 8 years.  I am learning to combat them and I have been reading some blogs where bigger people as they loose their weight feel less and less anxiety as they get smaller... so let's do it...let's get this bloody weight off lol.


AllyS Melb said...

Wow, you do have a busy life, I feel like a sloth compared to you!!

AllyS Melb said...
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