Post every day.

Went to the gym last night and did my new program OMG I am sore today. The new program pushes my limits... I have to go hard out until I fail... it isn't like I do 3 x 15 or anything and man it is hard. But... the weird thing was my scales were soooo down this morning and that is sooo weird but I felt good with this program.

The only thing that I wasn't too happy about was that I have to do the rower first and I am not warmed up and it felt really really horrible to do it without being warmed up and especially for 15 minutes on the darn thing he he.

I promised I would post every day but last night I got way laid with all the things I needed to catch up on but I am still managing to tell about the day so that isn't too bad.

I think I am catching a bloody cold because I have had headaches and blocked sinuses and now a sore throat... but that is not going to beat me... I am going to lose this weight and I am not going to feel sorry for myself... I am trying sooo hard to be positive and I am chanting postive things when I can feel that my mind is wandering.

I keep picturing this lady that I saw in the weekend from WW and how fantastic she looks and I suppose that is keeping me going as well this week.

Only 3 more working days for me and then I am off from next Wed at 2.30 woohooooooo I just cannot bloody wait.

Corbin took some Xmas cards in today to school and for Ashley's one he put a candy cane in it awwwww how sweet (even though she is Kris's daughter she is a nice little girl) and Corbin blushed when I said "So why does she get a candy cane and the others don't" he he he it was just tooo cute.

Oh Well....

Might update later on what I have done today

Chubbymum

9422

Great loss this week

I have been feeling soooo much better since going away this weekend.

Weighed in on Saturday and was 120.7 (ouch) because in the last couple of weeks I have been in a funk... as you all know because I stopped blogging once again...

So I have been tracking properly since Monday and I think by Saturday I will have a good loss woohooo.

Back on track. I think after a couple of months of tracking I just tend to go in to this funk and as long as I get back on the horse as they say then that is fine with me... afterall it isn't a race.

I want to fit in to a nice outfit for Lee-Anne's wedding and I refuse to look like a frump.... so that is my goal for now. Not sure of a size just that I will be smaller than 120.7... so there you have it.

Bloody raining here today so didn't go for my walk at morning tea... can't sit at desk being wet today... will try and go to the gym tonight.

The boys have milo cricket today after school... I am going for the first 10 minutes then I am going to leave and have a coffee at the coffee shop to have some time for me I think... and then go and pick them up. A lot of the parents seem to just leave them and come back... but will see how I feel at the time.

I am really getting in to my digital scrapbooking at the moment and Kate and I have got a website that we are doing quickpages and other things that we design put on the site so others can download and have a go... so if you wanna try go to www.kiwiscraps.blogspot.com and see what we have done so far... I am enjoying it. Also I have done a couple more pages on my own digital scrapbook site too if ya wanna have a look.

My mums birthday is on the 26th November so I am also in the process of doing a little digital scrapbook for her to carry around to show people too... it is going to be about the family and I am going to print them and put them in this lovely little album I brought a couple of years ago but haven't used it as it is soooo pretty I just have it on show he he he silly aye.

The boys are getting invested tomorrow night at keas (scouts) and so I have to go and get their shirts for the night... OMG it costs $90 (EACH) a year for scouts that is $180 a year for me and then on top of that the shirts and then the outings bloody hell..... expensive or what. I am excited for them to be doing it but bloody hell that is a lot of money.

Anyway better get some work done.

Chubbymum

Ramblings

I found this while reading today and thought it was quite interesting

What Goes Up Must Come Down

It is not just walking uphill that provides benefit. Walking downhill has its advantages as well. Doctors in Austria examined two groups of people.

One group walked up hills and took a tram to the bottom; the other group took the tram up and walked down. The researchers were not expecting much from the downhill walking and were surprised to find that it significantly lowered blood sugar levels, a risk factor for Type II adult-onset diabetes.

Uphill walking lowered triglycerides-- fat in the blood, a risk factor for heart attacks-- but did not have the same sugar-lowering effect as downhill walking. Both groups experienced lowered cholesterol levels, the uphill group more so than the downhill. Researchers concluded that the practice of walking downhill is a good starting point for people who are new to exercise.

I suppose when you look at it... it is walking whether you go up or down hill. So as long as we are getting out then that is the main thing.

I am focussing on walking in the last month and getting out there whether it is raining or not. I started out with my steps averaging 5,000 a day for most days but now my average is 7000 a day and I am soooo pleased with myself. I am not at the 10,000 steps yet but I am getting there.

I want to get this weight off but I am doing something wrong or as my hubby says I am doing something right to maintain like that. So at least I am not gaining heaps and heaps aye that is the main thing.

I am not too sure what I will weigh this week. I have been a little relaxed on the food etc but I have been tracking and some days are way up and some are right on track. I can never tell what I am going to loose or gain each week as my body is strange.

So my walking has been up and this week my exercise has been:

Wednesday - 1 hour kickboxing,

Thursday - Indoor rock climbing (arm work)

Friday - Rest day

Saturday - Walked around the lake 4km and biked 5.5km

Sunday - Walked with hubby 40 minutes and biked with the boys about 6km

Monday - Have already done 4,000 steps and I have kickboxing tonight so that will take it up.

My week hasn't been too bad exercise wise.

I have tracked this week again... I have slacked in the last couple of weeks with the tracking so I am back on track now and this week was tracking but not worried about the points as such to make myself realise what I am eating and how I am going to get back on track.

So from Wednesday I am going to be keeping totally to my points and see what the difference is. When I have my exercise and my tracking down to pat then I will be a happy camper again.

I so want to lose 400 grams this week but to be all honest I don't think it will be a loss.. it will be again. I am doing this yoyo again and cannot get in to those bloody teens and the only one to blame is me and I know that.

I also have stopped blogging and that isn't helping either. I have to find a happy medium.

I don't know what to say in my blogging and I want to talk about day to day but then to be honest I can't be bothered when I work all day and then trying to get the invites done for the expo and holding back when I want to say things... this is all something I have to work on.

I want more!!! I want to read about weight loss constantly lately and I don't want to read statistic but I want someone that is going through the same things as I am. Some one to tell me do this and do that... I know I know that isn't a good way to do it... but when I first started blogging I would read blogs and it would motivate me and I had so much gumption to get this weight off and now I am in limbo and I know I have said this so many times before but I don't know how to get my act together and no one but me is to blame... I do know this. I do! just finding it hard.

I have a new blogging friend and this is her blog we do the same job but with different regions and I met her last week she is a lovely person and we have so much in common apart from she is sooooooo young (the lucky beeearch) wish I had my time again he he he. So please go over and support her.

How do you count calories.. I have been doing points for soooo long that how the hell does anyone know what calories are in a banana or apple or stuff that don't have the nutritional stuff on the back. It is sooo confusing. That is why I keep going back to points. Then how do you know what the points calculate to in calories too... it is such a strange thing. I want to know more but can't work it out.. dumb I know but it intrigues me.

Ok I am rambling but I am going to ramble more when I get back from Kickboxing because I need to ramble today he he he.

Love Chubbymum

Thoughts - and UPDATE!!!

.....................UPDATE BELOW....................

I have been thinking so much in the last week on how I can improve my food and my lifestyle change because I did rely so much on my exercise.

I must admit this year has been a bit of a downer so far because of last years achievements with all the exercise things I did I am feeling quite disoriented this year and that is why I am trying to work out ways to keep me motivated.

I am trying to gage what the feeling is when I am hungry. Because before when I thought I was hungry really I wasn't and it was just because (maybe?) I was bored etc.

So today was my first day at this. For breakfast I had left over chicken with two toast because I was in a hurry and I hate to eat in the car (I know I know people are going to say that isn't good eating in the car but when you start work at 7.30 and have to sort kids etc out then that has to happen) and it only happens some days not everyday.

I thought then I wasn't going to eat anything until I can feel it in my tummy that I needed food and I had this ache in my tummy around 10am and it was like OMG if I don't eat something NOW I would die he he he but in actual fact I knew that I wouldn't die but I don't usually let myself get to that hunger pang stage and was quite scared (if that is the word).

So I had 10 rice crackers to serve the hungry pang and I went for a walk down the road with a workmate (which we are trying to do every Mon, Tue, Wed mornings) so she could get a good coffee and I could see the sunshine (and not be stuck in my little dungeon all day he he he).

It felt good to know that I could feel that hunger pang but get rid of it by eating the right thing and not by just putting food in my mouth because it was morning tea or lunch or afternoon tea etc (which I hate doing by the way...)

I am not much for wanting to eat just because it is time and I have to... I think that is what was doing my head in last year on Joys eating plan because I was being told to do something at a certain time it made me NOT want to do it and also the food was varied enough for me. I find that when I am told to eat something I really don't want it and will try my hardest to rebel (GEESH terrible aren't I?).

So this week I am concentrating on listening to my body.

I am still going to go to Weight Watchers every week... it is a habit that I don't want to break just yet.. I do find that it doesn't feel the same anymore and that maybe because I have heard it all before and realistically I know what they are going to say and I know what I should be doing and I really need more than that... and realistically I can't get more than that because there are too many people.

I was talking to hubby about it because I don't want to waste money and I don't want to pay just for the priviledge to weigh when I can do that at home. For people that have 10 kilos to loose it isn't such a lot of money but I have been doing it for 2 years and it adds up. I know that I can't put a price on my health.. I do realise that. But I haven't been for 3 weeks because of my back and the holidays and I have managed to get myself back on track and back in the right headspace.... so I can do this without WW just that for a little while longer I don't want to do it without WW.

I am going to give it till the end of the 10 weeks and see what happens because right now I am not too sure if I am getting anything out of it. I know this sounds harsh and I know maybe some of you will disagree but I used to look forward to going to WW and I knew at the end of the meeting I could talk to the girls but I can't anymore... I don't feel like I can be free to say what I want because Debbie stands there listening and even when she can see that I don't want her to be there she hovers and I can't talk... I can't talk because... I don't know really.... because I don't want her knowing everything about me... or maybe I feel like she is taking over the one place that I TRULY felt comfortable and happy and I wasn't the FAT person anymore, and she overpowers the meeting now?

Now I feel like a little school girl. I don't mean to sound like that or to be harsh because I know that Debbie has a lot ot lose as well and she is just lonely but sometimes I just want to talk to the WW girls SOOOOO much and losing weight is such a personal thing and I HATE Debbie telling me that I should do this, and I should do that, when I see her eating chocolate and biscuits every morning tea at work it is such a contradiction in my eyes. In front of people at work saying to me I can't wait till you lose a little more so we can wear the same size clothes OMG I just wanted to slap her... I would never NEVER ever make someone feel like that and make others think that ohhh she is smaller than her that is just down right rude. So that was another reason that I didn't want to tell her my weight at Weight Watchers anymore and that if she didn't know then she couldn't treat me like crap. I even thought that I wouldn't tell the group that I had got another 5 kilos or a stone etc because I didn't want her to know.

Hubby seems to think that I am yoyoing in the last couple of weeks because if I reach that 35 kilos then I am going to have to say "I just got another 5 kilo star etc" and then Debbie would know how much I have lost. I have a feeling that hubby was right and in my subconscious I was feeling that. I don't want to sabotage myself!!! I want to lose this weight... I just need to find a way to feel MYSELF that the numbers don't matter and so what if she knows. I am not too sure what I can do about that right now.

So it is Weight Watchers tonight. I hopped on the scales this morning and they said 121.9 (200 grams up from yesterday typical being weigh in day) and this afternoon I reckon it will change again so I have to take what I get at weigh in tonight and if I gain I gain... at least it isn't as bad as it was last week with Easter etc. I mean 124.4 at home (123.6 at WW (2.7 gain in 2 weeks ouch)) and now at home saying 121.9 ... that means 2.5 kilos I have lost in the last week.. I am happy with that and even though my WW booklet won't say it I know I HAVE done really well.

So... I have my challenge starting tomorrow!!! Both Celtic girl and I are doing it and I can't wait to show a loss next Tuesday!!

I have to get to the TEENS... I am tired of saying I want to get to the TEENS and it looks like it is getting further and further away... I HAVE to do it...

So PLEASE if anyone is out there and wants to take up the Challenge... then come and do it with us. It doesn't HAVE to be 500 grams a week it can be a realistic amount for you... just come and join the 10 week challenge. And if you do!! Mention it on your blog and lets get this Challenge/Group Motivation going.

I do feel so motivated this week and I also think that is because a lot of the bloggers are feeling postitive lately too and it is catching. But we are only human and some days or weeks it just isn't the case and that is ok too... but the positiveness is fantastic at the moment.

Anyway will update you on my weigh in tonight.

I am not going to lose (by Weight Watchers scales) but I am a loser!! I am!! and I am proud that I have been good this week.

Food today:

Breakfast: 2 Sandwich Bread, Chicken
Snack: 10 Rice Crackers
Lunch: 2 Vogel bread, Chicken, Lettuce, Pickle
Dinner: Chicken breasts, Peas, Carrots, Cauliflour
Water: 1 bottle so far
( I think it is a Chicken day today.. didn't plan it really to be like that just happened but they are all done a different way so hey!!)

Took my Vitamins for the third day in a row too... I am not good at taking them... good at buying them but I am trying so hard to keep up with taking my Vitamins every morning and I am feeling better for it.

Love Chubbymum

..............UPDATE..............

Ok so my update is good as far as I am concerned... so this is how it goes.

Even though I didn't do an official weigh in last week at WW I weighed at home:

Last week at home: 124.4
Which would have been at WW: 123.6
(Usually 800 grams difference between my scales and WW)

This week at home: 122.3 (at night)
WW Official weigh in: 121.6

So... for me that is in one week
I have lost 2.1 kilos and I am proud!!!!

But..yep there is a but... by WW scales say I gained 700 grams
and I have gained 700 grams
but I still lost this week to get off the weight that I gained
with my back and bloody easter he he he.

I am really proud of myself even though I gained.. I LOST!

No Weigh In

I decided not to go to my weigh in tonight... for one thing I have a major ear infection and went to the doctors and I wasn't in a very good mood to go.

I have been ok with my food this week and I don't think there would have been a problem with my weight so I am not overly concerned about it just that I am grumpy and thought it was better to stay home.

We put up the Xmas lights on the house tonight so hopefully it looks good when it gets dark hmmmm sooo cool.

I am getting in to my Digital Scrapbooking and feeling like it is making me calm or something latley... it is sooo nice to get in to something that I feel passion for and makes me feel calm.

• Ten Pin Bowling

Christmas is not going to beat me I am going to still keep going on this weight loss and if I gain then I gain and I am going to get on with it in January. I have been doing this for almost 2 years now and I don't want to go back to my life before that and that isn't saying that I am going to eat everything just that it isn't going to consume me the whole holiday.

Love ya all
Chubbymum

Weekend

Thursday Night

What a miserable day weather wise it was wet and horrible but went out and got wrapping paper etc for Xmas.

Met Debbie at the gym to have our first joint PT with Crusher and she punished us like you wouldn't believe. She worked us harder than she has ever done before.

We did:

1. 10 minutes on the bike going up and down the levels each minute
2. Kickboxing with her while other one was on the ground with the medicine ball going from side to side and OMG my abs were soooo sore as we did it like 5 times with swapping from the kickboxing to medicine ball abs argghhhh.
3. Treadmill with incline to 4 and run one minute walk and putting the revs up too arghh but I was sweating like you wouldn't believe.
4. One of us on the rower 500 mtrs - 1st 200 metres fast as and 100 metres slow as we wanted then 200 metres fast as while the other one was on the side doing sit ups for the 200 metres fast and bridge for the 100 metres fast and then sit ups to finish off OMG OMG
5. Water bike for 15 minutes and she put up the intensity every minute then down for a minute then up and my arms were burning by the end of it.
6. Then back on the bike for 10 minutes before doing our stretches.

I know on paper it doesn't mean a lot but it was sooooooo hard and I sweated like no bodies business.

Friday

What a beautiful day it was here today. I got up at 5.30am to be at the gym with Crusher at 6am and had an amazing workout and she worked my butt off. It has been soooo much better than Lean in the fact that I have sweated my backside off. I changed my 9am appointment with Crusher to the 6am as Quinn's class of mums decided to get together for a coffee after taking the kids to school so I wanted to go he he he and there was about 9 of us that turned up. It was really nice and relaxing. I walked the boys to school and walked home from the coffee and then went Xmas shopping for little things for xmas (even though all my shopping is finished) and then walked down to the school to pick up the boys.. it was sooo nice to just go for the walk and it didn't have to be exercise but just to get out into the nice weather.

I didn't have my pedometer on for the PT with Crusher but I managed 8061 steps with the other walking for the day so I was pretty pleased with myself.

Saturday

Got up early and did the grocery shopping.

When we got back from grocery shopping we went for a bike ride with the boys to the library to take back some books and get some more and had an icecream... the wind was in our way the whole way back and the boys were sooo tired woohooo meant they would go to bed really well.

Got home and got ready for my work Xmas function.

We had a fabulous night. I must say it wasn't as good as the gym Xmas party but it was on par. The food sucked (which in a way was fantastic as then I didn't eat too much he he he). We danced the night away again and my top at the front was soaking wet he he he.

I got home around 12.40 after dropping Debbie off... with sore knees argghhh

Sunday

Got up early because we were taking hubby's Dad our Skeet Shooting because we said back in June for his 60th birthday present we would take him but the weather and his Dad's schedule didn't match he he he.

We did it today woohooo and I was one of them doing it. Corbin and Quinn had a little go with a 22 with a sight on it to hit one of the balloons on strings and so did some of the other kids that were there. It was all controlled and the boys had some fun... they only had one shot each but it was enough to make them smile.

I wasn't going to have a go but I did and so did hubby's stepmother too we were chuffed.

The idea of the game was that everyone had a go and if you hit a balloon you got to have another go until there was no one left. I got a balloon with my first shot woohoooo (and it was a windy day too). Hubby's Stepmother got her first and so did hubby and his brother and his dad woohooo but we all missed our second except for hubby's dad and he came second and this was our first time he he he

Then after lunch we had a go with the rifles and the skeets... OMG I was soooo nervous and my first shot I hit the skeet WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I missed the second because I think I was shaking too much and my shoulder was a little sore as the gun has a huge kick back. But I got my third skeet and split it woohooo. I only had 5 turns as I just wanted to try it but not exactly do a lot he he.

I had a great day and was glad it was another thing under my belt for this year. Sometimes it isn't how much you lose but how much it changes your life for the better.

As you can see below these are the balloons that we had
to hit and they were a long way away too but I did it I got one woohooo.

So here I am with the 22 and the sight shaking like you wouldn't believe

because I had about 10 people behind me watching and I had

never shot a gun before.. I really enjoyed it though.

Below is Granddad and Corbin looking at the broken skeets and bullet shells

and Granddad was explaining them to Corbin and also going through all the safety stuff

to make sure he knows it is not a game and to be careful etc.

Here is hubby looking like a real pro woohoo

Can you see the joy in my face OMG I actually hit my fit skeet but OMG OMG my shoulders felt like someone had hit me with a hammer he he he that is why I am holding my shoulder... But I hit my first skeet on my first try woohoooo.

Can you see my skeet up in the right hand corner.... I got it but hubby didn't take the photo at the right time he he he he but I got it. They are bright orange like the guys jacket.

All in all I had the most fabulous day and learnt something else that I wouldn't have done a year ago. That is 7 things I have achieved this year. Roll on next year and some more challenges. Debbie and I want to do some Kayaking next Christmas so I am going to be building up for that next year.

Good night everyone

Love Chubbymum

Private - On top of the world

I feel good today.

I felt good when I got up this morning as I weighed 123.7 (on our scales when I woke up and recently in the last couple of weeks it didn't go below 125 so that is great).

I was really worried about going to the personal training with Joy this morning and at 8.30 Debbie phoned me to tell me about what was talked about. She said that Joy was happier this morning and that she had gotten over her anger by about 10 minutes. She also said that Joy had a huge talk with Kris and gave her a bollacking too. The thing is even if she does talk to Kris it wasn't going to change my mind as I am not going to go back to being friends with her and I am not going to go to Lean while she was there... It is just not going to happen.

So Debbie organised with Joy to do a PT with the both of us and we have worked out a day and time. It is going to be every Thursday at 6pm. I am sooo happy with that! I think it would be better for Debbie and I as I don't honestly think that we are working hard enough in Lean.

So when I got there Joy was all smiles and it felt quite strained... I didn't want to be told what to do again.. I back off when that happens and I don't want to end up hating Joy either.

She put me on the rower for 1000 metres and then I asked her if she could take me to get weighed. So last Friday I weighed 122.2 (on the gym scales) and this morning drum rolllllll..... 120.8 OMG that is 1.4 in a week and I am sooo happy with that. She didn't measure me though but that is ok we only need to do that once a month I reckon as it doesn't change that much.

I told Joy that I am happier because I am following everything that she said apart from the morning and afternoon teas as I want to eat when I am hungry and not feel like I am shoving food in my mouth all the time. So I think she seemed happy... the only thing was that really it had nothing to do with her and as long as I am happy then that should be it. I am finding it hard to make everyone happy and really I shouldn't be worried about what anyone thinks just need to concentrate on what I want and I think that is why in the last year I haven't lost because I have been doing it all for everyone else but me!!

So Joy did the following workout with me today:

10 minutes Bike
10 minutes Cross Trainer (1 min level 1, 1 min level 4)

15 Swiss ball squats
Up and down the stairs
30 second fast kickboxing punches
(all the above x 4)

15 Swiss ball sit ups not putting head down between
10 pushups
(the above x 4)

10 minutes Treadmill
(1 minute walking at level 5.5, 1 minute jogging level 7)

Then stretches

When I got off Jackie (one of the older ladies there) and a lady I didn't know said "OMG you like look like a real runner when you run. Your technique is amazing. I said "you are joking" and then Jackie said "I was thinking the same thing" it was fantastic to hear... I felt like I was blushing. It was a great thing.

I feel on such a high today with the compliment and with the fact that I lost 1.4 kgs on Joy's scales.

I went out and got my nails done and felt even more like a woman. I think since losing this weight I have been feeling more feminine... when I started gaining the weight after our wedding I was wearing anything baggy to make me feel better about myself and T-Shirts and anything that looked good on me even though I was feeling soooo bloated all the time and not feeling pretty so I didn't want photos taken or not even getting dressed up for things.

Tracking today

Breakfast
2 Toast
Chopped Egg
Coffee

Lunch
Chicken Salad with everything in it.
V

Afternoon Tea
2 Mallowpuffs

Dinner
Steak
Vege Stirfry
WW Hot Chips
1 Mallowpuff

Weigh in

I went to bed angry and woke up angry....

Why do I have these days.. it isn't my monthly and I am not due for another 2 weeks.

I lost weight!!! 700 grams tonight.

I am not happy with it.. I do know that I should be but I wasn't. I wanted 1 kilo!! Yes I am a silly COW!!

I can't work out what I want with life!! We are in the process of looking at a franchise business at home but I am scared I won't be able to cope as I have never been in a business before. It is a good business and something I know we could do but totally scared.

The other thing I can't work out is if I want to be a lifecoach or do the franchise? So many decisions and I can't work out what is best. I don't know what to do!!!

I know I am not that interesting tonight but I am tired of my life feeling like it is all about weight loss and now I have choices instead of weight loss I can't work out what I want to choose.

I know I lost 700grams and I want it to keep going down but I can't guarantee that it will because to be honest I am tracking and when I am really good I don't lose and then when I am bad I lose. It doesn't match my tracking....

I have felt better in the last week not worrying about the food and not having morning or afternoon tea and feeling like life was normal and going by how my tummy was feeling as I was eating because I was told to and not because I felt I needed to by my hunger.

I hate water as most of you know by now and I have made a huge effort this week to have at least 2 bottles of water a day and most days made it to 3 bottles.

My challenges for this week coming

1. Keep up with the water
2. Get up and go for a walk every morning
3. Cut down the size of my meals for dinner

Three challenges a week for me is enough because if I try for more I loose motivation.

I am 123.8 and I have 600 grams to get to my 5th stone! That is what is going to happen next week. I am going to get to my 5th stone!!!

I want to be in the teens by the end of the year. I want to start 2007 off with a bang and not ever ever ever get to the 120 or above ever ever again.

I have to keep up on here as I am slacking in the last couple of weeks. Why aren't I wanting to write in here I don't know?

Anyway enough thinking for now

Love Chubbymum

UPDATE
OMG I got a text this morning from Crusher to say that Kris will be joining my Lean and I replied back saying then she won't be seeing me anymore.

OMG I finally got that woman out of my life in every way and I have been losing and my life has been great and then the fucken woman comes in to my fucking LEAN... and I can understand that Crusher is doing a business etc and couldn't take sides. So I texted her back saying that I will not be in anymore if she is going to join. So once again the fucken bitch has stalked my fucken life...

Can you tell I am angry? Well I am she just can't leave me alone to get on with my life she has to be in every situation.... she is even taking her kids to school so that I see her every morning and before hand she wouldn't get off her lazy arse to take the kids to school....

I didn't want to write about her anymore as life was getting so much better and now this...

I am not going to go to Lean anymore to have her making me feel like a complete utter idiot and to remind me that she is smaller than me and can go faster etc... I HATE her and I know that is a strong word but I do!!

Debbie and I will be going to the gym instead and another lady that isn't going to Lean anymore will be getting together.

Kris would complain about the early morning etc and now she is doing this... and I do think it was all because of Friday night when Debbie and I were having so much fun with our team and dancing and she was sitting on the side line in her sulky little mood.

I am soooo ANGRY!!!!! That my life could be turned upside down like this! I love my team!! I love being with Crusher but I cannot see this woman again! My self esteem is shot when she is around and once again I am the one that misses out.

It hurts that ONCE AGAIN she wins!!! and I lose out on the best team!

Everytime I see the BITCH I want to throttle her!! that is how bad I feel around her.

My Weight Watcher Leaders

I have the most amazing Weight Watcher leaders!!!

They both came around last night to talk to Debbie and I and it sort of mainly revolved around me so for that Debbie I am sorry.

I try so hard with the food that I didn't know what to do and these wonderful ladies came around and we chatted from 7.30 to 11pm OMG 11 o'clock and I sort of didn't want to end as they really made me think. What WW leaders would do that for anyone? They are the most amazing ladies. I envy their friendship (in a nice way of course) and what they have a achieved and what they will achieve in the future.

There was sooo many things that came out of this meeting that I thought about the whole night and even when I got up for Lean this morning I was thinking about it.

I am too strict on myself. I have plans on what I should eat and can't grasp the idea that I can have treats. Even restaurants we choose are good ones or I feel like I will go off the rails but it isn't working for me. The strictness is not working so I have a challenge of going and having butter chicken for dinner this week (not to go overboard) but I don't eat things that I enjoy anymore. I have had my life consumed by sticking to the plan and maybe it isn't working.

I went to Wellington in September/October and I wasn't fussy with my food and ate what I wanted and had treats and I still lost... maybe the reason being that my body needs it and until last night I didn't realise that..

The other thing that is becoming prominant to me while they were talking last night is that I am trying to please everyone else but myself. I do a lot of things that really I don't want to do but I am doing it (and realised this morning while talking to Debbie) that I do it because I want the recognition and for Crusher to say "OMG you are fantastic" when I don't need to have that recognition and really I don't want to be running because I am finding that my knees are just getting worse and worse and everytime I say to her they are hurting I can feel that she is thinking I am using it as an excuse.

Just like this morning it was pouring down with rain at Lean and I was thinking OMG thank God that we won't be going outside for another one of our walks again and what happened is that we went outside under the eaves and did leg kicks and stair climbing and squats and walking all with our legs and I was F&*(n sore again afterwards. I was soooo angry. I was angry as my knee isnt getting better and I was angry because my group isn't the same anymore.

I used to feel safe in this group... safe that these were friends and we laughed and had fun and did exercise at the same time. But now we don't have that anymore... we have a lot of new people and we have Sgt Major in there and it isn't the same anymore and I am holding on to this group because of the past that isn't there anymore.

I hated it this morning and finally realised it this morning. I hate paying money to go out and walk and be behind everyone else and feel like I am doing the same old same. OMG I can save my money and go for a walk by myself and do what we have been doing in the last 8 weeks and not get abused (by Sgt Major) for it.

I hate the mentality that men have... where they think "Oh I am your trainer and you must abide by me like you are my slave"... it doesn't fit well with me. I used to get bossed around by teachers at school and not encouraged and so going and doing that and paying money for it just isn't right. Why didn't I see that till this morning? Maybe I didn't see it till I was talking to the WW ladies last night to realise that I wanted it to still be the same as it was when we first started Lean and realistically it can't be the same.

I think the hardest part was that I can do this without going to Lean and why didn't I think about this before..? Why didn't I realise that I can lose this weight and I don't have to stay with the same thing. I lost my first 20 kilos WAYYY before Lean and ok I am fitter but I am not where near where I want to be in my weight loss.

I lost the majority of my weight before I went to Lean through twice a week kicking boxing and totally focussed on Weight Watchers. So maybe I need to get back to the basics.

Debbie said this morning that she would do anything as long as we were doing it together and that if not going to Lean was the thing then she would do it.

I broke down and cried and said that I didn't know if leaving Lean was good because if I left it and then something happened where she pushed me aside like Kris did I don't think I could pick myself up again.

I HATE losing friends (even though now I realise Kris wasn't my friend and I am glad that I ended it and that I didn't return her calls).

I have been holding back on the frienship with Debbie because of not wanting to get hurt again... not wanting to have to pick up the pieces or change my ways of doing things to avoid her like I am doing with Kris as even going to take the boys to school now is difficult because Kris is there... I couldn't also do that with work it would be just too hard.

Pooring your heart out to friends is the hardest thing because if the friendship breaks up then those friends know what gets to you etc... even though I must admit Kris didn't know half the things I felt because I never got the chance to confide in her because we were always solving her problems.

Kris hurting me twice has made me scared to make new friendship for the fear of being hurt... it is like being FAT all over again where I avoid it because it is better than the hurt.

I have my last event with Lean this weekend and that is our triathlon:

• 12km walk
• 12km bike ride
• 4000 mtr Rower
• 50 push ups
• 50 sit ups

Then that will be it!

I want to be in the teens....

I have 4.6 to get to the teens so that is all I am focussing on right now getting rid of those 4.6 kilos.

So since daylight savings is here this is my week from Monday:

Monday: Rest day after the Triathlon
Tuesday: Gym with Debbie and no Lean
Wednesday: Might meet Debbie at her place and go for a long walk
Thursday: Get up early and go for a walk with Debbie
Friday: Personal Training with Crusher
Saturday: Recover from Gym Christmas Dinner I think

I am going to have 1 treat this week on Saturday night (which is our 11 year wedding anniversary) and that is to have Butter Chicken.

I am going to have a REAL sandwich this week and not just wraps and I am going to enjoy every minute of it.

Karen and Kylie thank you for last night!!! You don't know what a relief working all this out is doing for me... it feels like I am living again and I am doing this for me again and not for all the other people (that mean well).

Deb's thanks for listening to me while I was upset this morning.. you are true friend.

Also thank you to all of you out there commenting and reading because without it I don't think I would have made it this far and I would have kept it all in.

P.S Rachel I missed you while you were on holiday girl! ;-)
Karen woohooo on your beautiful baby daughter... you will rock at being a mum hun.

Love Chubbymum

Weigh in 6

Hi guys

This is my 6th weigh in since getting rid of the acidic friendship... I have lost 4 weeks and stayed the same 1 week and last week I gained. I am not sure why I gained but as I told my wonderful WW ladies I am not giving up... I think they thought I might... OMG I don't want to do that.. I have said it but to be quite honest I don't ever ever ever want to be as big as I was again.... it is just frustrating when you know you are trying and you don't loose.

I gained 400 grams this week. Now two good things I didn't go below the 30 kilos and I have had a good streak of 5 weeks of good weighing and that is the most I have had all year because of my yoyo dieting.

I am more determined than ever to get this weight off my friends!!! It is not going to beat me!!

I think I have my exercise down now and I think now is the time to sort out the food even more and really look at it and really try to get my water sorted.

No more PISSING around body!! DO YOU HEAR ME!!!

I have three ladies coming around tonight and I can't wait to have a GREAT chin wag it is going to be fun...

I have started off the way I mean to carry on this week. The girls at WW seem to think that I am not eating enough... so I am going to make a big effort to eat more for breakfast.

Anyway better get some work done he he he... I just feel on top of the world even though I gained last night.. I am doing better in the last 5 weeks and feeling more positive in my journey. Yes of course there will be gains but I have been having so much fun with Debbie and life seems to be going faster.

It is not going to beat me!!

I am not going to be fat anymore!!!

Teens here I come... then Ninety's here I come

Love Chubbymum

Round the Bridges

Got up at some ungodly time this morning so we could be in town for the Round the Bridges and found out that we didn't start walking at 9am we started at 10 OMG... OMG there was sooooo many people.

Debbie and I were wearing out orange T-Shirts that we made and I tell you we chose such a great colour because every other person was wearing white or red or blue or yellow... we were probably the only people wearing orange... and you could see us a mile away.

I met sooo many people from my old work (the University) there. My old boss and work mates and others it was amazing. One of my work friends came up to me and said "OMG Mandy is that you?" I said yes and she gave me a huge huge hug and said OMG OMG OMG look at you you have lost so much and so did her other half. I said yeah I have lost almost 31 kilos and she said you look amazing girl. I must admit I felt amazing this morning. So that put me on a high before the race that is for sure.

So the race started and Debbie said "we have to beat the lady on the crutches" OMG that lady was hoofing it around and made me think OMG if she could do it anyone could.

When we practiced the walk in the last couple of weeks it took us 1 hour and 35 minutes for the 6.3 km... and we thought that was a fantastic effort..

As you can tell... hubby is next to me in the orange and there is Debbie right next to me.

Today we were on fire.. we were passing people and jogging to pass them and jogging down hills and I must admit I wasn't drinking enough because I felt quite light headed half way but it was great.

Hubby went with us and was great he stayed just behind us and he took my water bottle in a bum bag for me and the support was great... I was sooo happy that Debbie did this with me we moved our little backsides and she is such a great support for me. My shins and blisters under my toes were killing me.... but I had to keep going because Debbie and I were going to get through this... the major hill at the end was the killer for me and I started to feel quite yukky but we decided that the three of us would run at the end.

There were so many people at the end and Crusher was at the end waiting and screaming and taking photos and I felt like I had done a marathon and we ran and Debbie and I raced and raced to the end... what an achievement.
Woohoooo we are running!!!! with all the tummy going everywhere he he he I am on the left and Debbie is on the right.

My mother in law and brother in law (with his new girlfriend, that I met for the first time at the walk today grrrr) were at the end with the kids cheering for us too. I was on top of the world... there were people we didn't know cheering for us and my friends from the Uni that ran the course at the end cheering us on too... I swear there was about 200 people at the end waiting for their loved ones.

Well needless to say we didn't win the race he he he but we did it in 1 hour and 8 minutes!!!!! We shaved 25 minutes off our time!!! We are troopers wohooooooo.

I am sore and tired and the others are playing playstation but all I want to do is go up and have a bath... but will do that when Debbie goes to her friends for dinner.

Love Chubbymum

Thoughtful Friday

Took boys to school and then went to the gym... admittingly I didn't want to go this morning... I had done my neck in in Auckland and looking to the right was painful. I must have an ear infection too... I know I sound like a hypochondriac but I'm not really.. just looking one way in the meeting in Auckland I think really did it for my neck.

Weighed in with Crusher and I stayed the same.. I know that Crusher wasn't too happy because her husband and neice are doing it and are losing.... I talked to hubby about that and really their metabolism is different. I tried really hard to stick to it last week. I am sure that Crusher doesn't believe me. I hated having wraps every single day and muesli for breakfast every day but I did stick to it and I didn't have any bad foods.

I said to Crusher that I was bored and to be quite honest that if I had to stick to having wraps for 6 weeks I would go insane. She didn't seem to happy and said to me "If I stuck to it... it would work" and maybe it would but the reason I have never stuck to a diet before Weight Watchers is because it was always soooo restrictive and I rebel against it. But with the points system I managed to lose 20 or so kilos without it feeling like I was going to explode.

We managed to have a chat about it all and decided that I would take the last three food plans she has given me and mix it up to make up the food I can eat for the challenge and to be quite honest that was fine with me... it isn't the same food every day so I won't get bored but I know that it will work. I am still having wraps but not every day. I quite like the wraps but not every day I like a little bit of difference in what I eat or I just go the wrong way.

Crusher worked me sooo hard this morning. I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes and three of those minutes I ran.. but she wanted me to not hold on and for some reason today I just couldn't I felt like I was going sideways... and so the running felt like that as well. I am not too sure if it was my neck giving me a problem or if my ear infection hasn't fully gotten better.

I was pushed to the limit on the treadmill that was for sure and it was good... I was sweating like a pig. Then I got on the water bike and did 10 minutes on the water bike and then 5 minutes on the water bike with arms... it was great and Crusher was a trooper!!! Thanks Crusher.

She did have a word with me about being positive with the weight loss and I will lose the weight. I do understand that but last week I was really positive and I tried soooo hard to stick to the meal plan from crusher and I did so much walking and gym that I thought I would have lost something and not just stay the same.. but as I pointed out to Crusher I haven't gained in 5 weigh ins and that is a positive thing. Crusher did mention that if I stuck to the plan for 6 weeks I would loose my 10 kilos before the end of the year. Maybe I would but I don't think I would be any happier by the end of it even if I did lose the 10 kilos... and there if I read it back is another point for Crusher because I wasn't being positive when saying it.

Debbie and I went for a walk/jog tonight... it was great and we were laughing the whole way around. It wasn't dark outside and if you know me you know running where people can see me is just NOT what I would do. But we did on the main main road and had people looking at us but I didn't seem to care. I was wearing jeans that were not very good as they kept falling down he he he so I kept holding them while I was running.

We had one truck driver go past and put up his thumb to say woohooo you two well done for running... and that made me feel really good. We did one street which is about a kilometre and then the rest we walked as my knee was hurting and her ankle was giving her trouble OMG talk about injury's he he he but we were still out there no matter what.

We got back and worked on what we were going to put on our T Shirts for tomorrow's Round the Bridges (6.3 km's). So we had bright orange T Shirts and on the front we put our name and on the back a picture of both of us smiling at each other and.....

The saying underneath was:
Two Chicky Babes
Turning the frown upside down
Pound the ground
Around the town bridges

Then on our backside we have:
"We really don't think we need buns of steel.
We'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."

It was fun doing it so tomorrow at least we won't loose each other with all the people going to be going on the walk/run.

Anyway what a late night that was and went to bed straight away... I have to start going to bed on time as it is not helping me what soever.

Byeeee
Chubbymum

Auckland Meeting with Work

Firstly Woohoooo KAREN congrads on the beautiful wee daughter born today!!! How wonderful!! You will both make such wonderful parents.

Went to Lean this morning and in a way was feeling rushed as I had to leave by 7.15 to get up to Auckland for my meeting with my boss (which by the way I have never met in person) and I have been with this new company 1 year (when they took over our creche).

It was a good workout at Lean today but I seriously think I need a break... I felt like I held people back today. Because the running is not good on my knees in the morning (maybe it is the cold) that when the others were told to run around the shops I walked and so my partner (whoever it was when I got back) missed out because I was late getting back and the others were doing other things. OMG do I hate that it reminds me of being back at school again and I avoided sports and the gym sessions with a note as a kids because I hated hindering other people.... I am feeling it more and more and more and it is getting me down.

I am soooo much better than I used to be last year with my exercise and I know this but I don't like feeling like I am letting people down and I know people will say you aren't letting them down but to me I am letting them down... they are supposed to be doing things to their best ability but with me holding them back is reminding me of school.

In a way realising this is such a big step for me as it is making me realise that the reason I didn't do exercise stemmed from my school days when I was told to do the exercise that I didn't like.... and forced to do it and I think that is why I hated exercise so much.

I had to be up in Auckland by 9am and I ended up leaving at 7.15 which really wasn't enough time with the horrible traffic jams that I came across. I don't know why I wasn't suprised I worked in Auckland for 5 years what was the suprise. I got in to Auckland at 9.15 grrr so I ended up being late. I think I should have not gone to Lean this morning but I am glad I did the exercise anyway.

But they didn't seem to mind. New Market hasn't changed since I worked there that is for sure... still expensive and stuffy he he he but hey that is New Market. The offices there weren't as big as I thought and I thought there would be a couple of office etc but the floor was quite tiny.. it was great to meet some of the people that I had spoken to over the phone over the year.

I was proud of myself at morning tea... my boss brought morning tea and was unpacking them from the food town bag and I was looking at it thinking OMMMMMGGGGG what the hell am I going to do? This is the food:

Mellowpuffs
Lolli bags
Chips
Biscuits
Hummus
Rice crackers

So you can guess I was happy about the rice crackers and hummus but they stuck them at the other end of the table... my boss said "have something" I said in a quiet voice "thank you for this it is great but I have lost 30 kilos and really I can't have this" I could see their looks as if to say OMG you are a big girl and you lost 30 kilos how bloody big were ya he he he in a nice way of course.

I enjoyed meeting all the girls especially one lady and we went out a couple of times downstairs so she could have a smoke to get away from another lady there that I wanted to rip her tongue out by morning tea.. she was the rudest lady I have ever met and wouldn't let anyone say a full sentence without butting in... both me and this other lady were getting quite annoyed.

I learnt so much about my job today... I have been there a year with this one company and hadn't been shown how to use the system I have been tutuing with it and that is how I learnt. It was great. Well our big CEO has said that he wants us to meet once a month OMG that is fine but it is on my day's off so I have to have my days off stuffed up and I don't know if I was happy about that.

But they are thinking about having it in a different region each time... like Christchurch, Wellington, Rotorua, Auckland and of course Waikato so I suppose that isn't too bad and they pay for the travel and the working day.... but still it is my day off hmmmmm decisions.... now don't get me wrong it is great but I have to have someone to take and pick up the kids as I can't do it and hubby did it today but if it was a regular thing I am not sure how his boss will react to it being every month.

I chose sushi for lunch woohooo for me. I also had my weetbix before going to the gym this morning at 5.30am instead of getting a ham bun from the bakery on the way to auckland so that is another thing to chalk up he he he

Hubby made Beef Strognoff (weight watcher recipe) tonight with dinner with veges too and so I think I have been fab!!! with my food. I will lose this week! I don't want my record of no gaining in 5 weeks to stop... I have 4 losses and 1 stay the same and this week coming has to be a loss... it has to.

I thought that everyday I would put a question down and try to answer it. I copied these questions from somewhere a while ago and can't remember where so here goes:

List 10 reasons why you want to lose weight. Which one is the most compelling and why?

1. To be described as "The skinny one" not "The fat one"
2. To weigh less than my husband!!!
3. To go into any shop and buy clothes
4. To live my life to the fullest
5. Stop hiding behind my size and to do things for me and not for others
6. To be able to eat in public and not worry what others think
7. To be normal
8. Have the energy to do anything and stop making excuses
9. To take my vows again but this time not in a fat dress but an amazing one.
10. To go and play a game with the kids and feel like I should be there.

I think the one out of the ten that makes me want to keep with it a toss up between number 1 and number 4 but really number 4 comes up the best. I want to live life to the fullest... I want to be happy and content and not to focuss on the weight but focuss on my life and doing what I want to do with my family and not be afraid of what others are thinking about my weight.

Hmmm might leave it at that.

Chubbymum

I ran today on the treadmill!!! OMG OMG

Went to my personal training with Crusher today....

I went on the bike for 10 minutes waiting for Crusher and she was five minutes late so I went to the front counter wondering where she was and she said "how did you get past me?" OMG I said I have been here for 10 minutes he he he.

We then went down to the treadmill and I was talking to one of the ladies on the treadmill beside me called Jackie and I said to her "well done for the running" as I know she had a knee problem and she never usually runs she usually stays on the spin bikes. She said that she has lost so much since she has been running on the treadmill. I said "OMG I couldn't do it is scares me" and then that is when Crusher said come on and she made me run on the treadmill... I was frightened to start it is a scary scary thing for me... BUT I DID IT!!! OMG I just can't get over it.

I feel sooo sore this afternoon after that. I was on the treadmill for 12 minutes and for 6 of those minutes I was running wohoooooo.

We went on the rower for 2000 metres too and then on the bike for 12 minutes. I doesn't sound like I did a lot but OMG OMG I feel pumped... I haven't felt like this in ages.

Roll on 9.6 kilos... woohoooo

I am going to do this! With Crusher's help and her 6 week challenge I know I will be doing this. I must admit it hasn't been a full week yet but I am a little sick of the lunches but I am going to stick with this.

Debbie and I have two walks planned in the weekend.. I it is going to be so much fun. I am doing this guys!! I am pumped... and I know I keep telling you that but it is amazing to have this feeling but I feel like I have just started again and feeling like the world is my oyster.

I might update later with the rest of my day.

I hope you are all ok... ??

Love Chubbymum

Motivation Galore

I am back to my old self!!!

Crusher worked me hard today and made me do the rower 4000 metres which took me 25 minutes but I know I can go faster than that as at the start it took us a while to work out where I was going to put my feet as I have a problem on it that my knees go out when I am on the rower so I put my feet on the floor but now I am putting them right under the feet holders so that I still work out properly but not tied in up above like other people so that I can not damage the knee.

I think I am more motivated now than ever... the reason being... I finally realised that I don't have to have Kris in my life to feel fufilled.... and also realising that I have so many supportive people in my life...

• firstly my husband he is just the best,
• Crusher is there for me and listens and is helping me out and believing in me when I don't believe in myself,
• you guys reading and commenting and listening I thrive on your support and the fact that you care and listen to me means SOOOOO much you wouldn't know,
• my friend Delwyn for telling me that I should not have gone back to Kris as a friend (the last time she let me down) and I didn't listen giving Kris the benefit of doubt and so now she can say "I told you so"
• Debbie for listening through the last week and commenting and helping me get through all this crap because I don't like the situation I have been in in the last week, Debbie goes to Lean with me and pushes me and goes to the gym with me and keeps me focussed on the positive side of weight loss, plus she is a great friend at work.

THANKS HEAPS EVERYONE

I felt great because I felt sooo relaxed and the concentration was even better with Crusher today.

Crusher just made me feel great in the fact that she has set me a challenge... I have a 6 week challenge and I will get the food list tonight (that she has two other people doing) and we are going to knock this weight off me he he he...

I said to her I want to lose another 10 kilos by February... now realistically I don't know if I can lose that much but I am going to try. I am more positive with this now and I know I just have to stop PISSING AROUND and do it.

So to be at 114 kilos by end of February will be my next challenge.
The teen's the teens woohooo.

So Crusher "Onward and Downward we go" I have the exercise sorted I reckon... I don't have a problem with the exercise and I am addicted to the gym it is just the food that I have to sort and that DAMN water.

Plus I feel like I am getting another cold... I am taking panadol and barocca like you wouldn't believe at the moment as I don't want to be sick anymore and I don't want my knee to stop me from getting on with this challenge.

So the challenge starts this
Sunday 22 October 2006
with Crusher and it will finish
3rd December 2006

Worked out my measurements today and these are the results

Centimetres lost since January 2005
Arm - 12.5
Waist - 34.2
Hips - 22.0
Thighs - 9.5
Chest - 16.0
Calves - 6.2

Altogther lost: 100.4 centimetres over my whole body.

Went to school to watch my boys do their cross country today and had a picnic lunch with them... it was a lovely afternoon (especially when it was raining most of the day) the rain stopped and the sun came out BLISS!

I was soooo proud of the boys they did so well! They weren't last (like I was in school) and they both tried sooo hard and came in the middle... they were soooo cute with the determination on their faces.

Ok I have yapped on enough... got a sore throat and so I am going to get an early night and make sure this cold that is trying to come on doesn't get any yukkier he he he

Love ya all
Chubbymum

Motivation

I am feeling so motivated today.... I am feeling motivated because finally I feel like I am being true to myself and saying everything that is on my mind in my blog!!!

I feel motivated because I met some wonderful people down in Wellington that know exactly what I am going through and are an amazing motivation for me to keep going.

Rachel thank you for the emails today and for listening I really appreciated it and it has made me think of things in a different way you are truly an amazing and funny lady. I don't have enough laughs in my day and I can imagine that if you lived here I would have such a great six pack (if girls have them he he he) because of all the laughing we would do.

I found this on an email sent to me today and thought I would put it up for everyone to read.... it is so simple but sometimes we forget to put ourselves first:

Put Yourself First — you can't lose weight for someone else; you have to own your goals. After all, you're the one out there sweating your butt off, right? Finding the right motivation is all about getting real with yourself. Jillian Michaels

Sometimes I think that motivation is not all you need though... you need to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF because without that you won't achieve anything.

Ok so I treated today as my first day losing weight... because I have gone back to my bad habits since the holiday and I was liking the fact of not worrying about food... so today I started with getting back to drinking water. I had a glass of water with every meal...

Food today:

Breakfast
2 Sandwich bread
Peanut Butter (slither not much)

Morning Tea
Carrot Sticks
Wasabi Peas

Lunch
Left over Rogan Josh (not a lot)
Rice
Nectarine

Afternoon Tea
Yoghurt

Dinner
Roast Beef
Carrots
Beans
Silverbeat
Potatoes
(I am going to try and have one potatoe a week and that is it... sort of like an experiment)

I not happy with my food today but I wanted to concentrate on getting the water sorted today instead of being overly worried about the food but still being good.... so this is what my experiment will be today.

Went back to work after 16 days off and people actually missed me. I phoned one of my creches I do the accounts for and the Manager said "OMG thank God you are back... you don't know how much I missed ya" now I can tell you this lady scares the hell out of me because she is sooo straight to the point sort of person and she was the last person that I would have thought that would have missed me....

But I was in the newspaper with my photo today and I was sooo sooo sooo proud he he he. My mother in law even phoned to say she saw me as well. Woohoooo ME!

I also got a phone call and this lady on the other end said "I hear you are our accounts person" and I said "who are you?" and they said "### creche in Morrinsville" I said sorry but I don't know what you are on about and she said that my boss in Auckland knows all about it and sure enough I phoned Auckland and was told there that I have a new creche OMG OMG it was nice to find out through someone else that I had a creche that had started about a week ago with us. I was told that it could be happening but didn't think it would be till start of next year OMG what a Mickey Mouse bunch I work for... how could they take on another creche without giving me the heads up or the details... and all my boss could say was "OOps forgot to tell you about that" OMG I know I don't work in the same city but fFSake.... yep yep Mickey Mouse outfit.. so my day started off interestingly.

I haven't heard from Kris at all today. Saw her dropping off her kids this morning in the rain and waved to her but she didn't even wave back and looked miserable...I can't say I wasn't being friendly, as I am an adult and I don't like losing friends. Even though I don't want to be close friends anymore with her I don't want to totally avoid her either as our kids go to the same school and we both go to the same gym.

I am getting quite tired now and I have to go to the gym at 6am in the morning ARGGHHHHH back to getting up early again ;-)

Love ya all
CM