Stickability

Sticking to it is the hard thing.

I find that I have all this energy when I start to think about losing weight that I get excited and read about weight loss and I feel energised and want to keep it going and then when life takes over then I lose the plot.

I have everything I want or need in this world.  I have a wonderful husband and two wonderful boys (men) and a daughter in law to be and also my son has a lovely partner.  We have great jobs that don't pay terribly but we always want more.  We have an amazing home (too big for us now that mum has gone in to care and oldest son brought a house with his fiancée).  Two amazing little pooches (Boston and Milo) great dogs.

But I still feel like something is missing and I feel like it is me not enjoying my life to the fullest.  I am 54 with osteoarthritis in both my knees and I am 155.6 kgs and since I have been working from home as a Manager I have gotten lazy. I sit all day on the computer on Teams with my staff and then after work I watch tv or do art and probably get about 800 to 1500 steps in for the whole day.  It is because of the fear of pain.

I can't go on a diet I have to change my lifestyle and change my portions.  I have to find workouts to do that won't affect my knees.  

Realistically I know that I won't ever be skinny it won't happen but I can get down to 119kgs and feel better about myself.

Brother in law is still here for another day.  It is great to see him and in so many ways he acts like my hubby.  When I met hubby 35 years ago no way did I think they looked like each other or acted like each other but as they have gotten older man there are similarities.  They are both good men and treat people with respect and are loved in return.  

I really don't know how they do that with having their mum as a mother she seems to have some sort of "Sheldon" from Big bang theory attitude towards things.  She doesn't like me and says things to me when no one around to make me feel so small and knows that others won't see or hear her or maybe they just don't get it like I do.  I was sitting in the lounge one night when she came for dinner and was just about to get up (hubby does the cooking as he likes it but I do other things around the house instead and it works for us and has for 35 years) anyway she says "do you want us to serve you in here" I wanted to slap her for that comment it wasn't necessary and I have always treated her with respect.  My youngest son sees her for what she is and told me one day... thought I was nuts and it was only me that thought she was being sarcastic but he now sees it.  I am the one that makes sure her son phones her and I am the one that invites her every fucken fortnight on a Sunday for dinner and I am the one that makes sure she has some of the leftovers to take back with her.  I am the one that says hey lets take you to your others sons in February (he lives like 8 hours drive away) not her fucken son.   I have to get this off my chest.

When I lost all my weight (if you read back on here) I was writing all this down and getting it out of my head instead of keeping it in and I lost the weight and because I was focussing and not just thinking oh it will be ok..... I lost the weight so I am going to try this again and keep it up and write about it.

Been trying to find bloggers about weight loss and people don't blog anymore..... it is sad as it was a great support when I was losing weight.  Why?  Why don't people blog anymore is it because there are some nasty commenters out there or because people don't care anymore?

hmmm

Anyway see ya until next time

CM