Pissed!!!

You Are 28% Control Freak

You have achieved the perfect balance of control and letting go. You tend to roll with whatever life brings, but you never get complacent.

Are You A Control Freak?

Ok.. so I am pissed off with myself this weekend...

I ate too much.... I couldn't stop it!!!

Well I could but I didn't!!!

I didn't have any willpower...

I just felt hungry all weekend...

So I am going to gain this week and I HATE MYSELF FOR IT!!!

I am F**ken yoyoing and can't get under the 120's and cannot get to the 35 kilos!!!

I SUCK!!!

I don't have any excuse! I just want food food food...

Quite pissed off can you tell!!!

CM

First Soccer games for 2007 and Meeting up with Lee-Anne

I am sooo sooo proud of my sons today...

I went to Quinn's soccer game today and Hubby went to Corbin's...

It was Quinn's first ever soccer game and I was sooooo proud of him and his team because they had one half hour practice and that was it. I am proud no because of goals because they didn't get any... the other team got 12 though he he he...

I am proud because my little monkey Quinn tried his very best and he ran after the ball and he played well with his team mates and he was a little star. Even though he didn't get a goal he was right there trying.

At one stage I thought I was going to wet myself (actually two stages he he he)... First... the coach picked up Quinn and placed him in position and also did it with 2 other boys and then he said play... and Quinn stayed there he he he he stayed put and didn't move and the other boys were going after the ball... and the parents (us) were all laughing our heads off and screaming at Quinn... come on Quinn move move.. .and he looked at me and mouthed... "but the Coach put me here I can't move" and I started laughing and laughing. I know that you probably wouldn't think it was funny but I was sooo proud of him.

Look at him at the front there taking that ball... woooohoooo Quinny.

Hubby went to Corbin's game and in the middle of it the text he sent me was "C is on Fire... he is a champ". Apparently he almost got 3 goals... (now my little man is usually the supporting player where he is in the middle of it and always sends it to the one of the kids that he knows gets goals... but he was trying today to not be just that boy and to try and get a goals)... wow his Dad was sooo proud.

We came home and had lunch and then went out for a great walk with the boys and went to the school playground and while we were there we played soccer and I actually ran to get the ball off Corbin and we played teams etc it was sooo much fun. We treated the boys with and icecream and walked home and now we are just chilling he he he...

I have had a great day just being with my family and enjoying our time.

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I didn't have time last night to update my blog about how GREAT and FUN my Friday night was.

We met Lee-anne at her hotel in town and had a glass of bubbly and then went to dinner at Lonestar and I had lots to drink (for me it is a lot because I don't drink that much he he he). The night was great and we didn't have a time where we didn't know what to say.

What a great man Lee-anne has and he seems to really adore her. It was really great to meet him and have a fun night. After dinner we all went to the casino for a little while to do a little bit of (losing money) he he he and then it was off home for us because of the soccer this morning...

Thank you Lee-anne and Colin for such a great night. I hope we can do it again sometime.

(from left to right) Hubby, Me, Colin, Lee-anneThe other two photos that hubby took, I had my eyes closed GEESH
Love Chubbymum

Gifted, Happy and Wonderful Children

OMG

Petrol prices and Mortgage rates going up BLOODY HELL!! What is wrong with this country.... it is going to be harder and harder for first home owners to ever afford a home and then they want everyone to stay at home as well because it is too expensive to drive anywhere too.

Today has been a really relaxing one.... took the boys to school and got roped in to doing Quinns class spelling testing and that was an eye opener for me because I had known that for a week Quinn had words to practice (geesh did I feel like a slack mum) but he managed to get 2 right and we didn't even practice so I felt quite proud really.

Got home at morning tea and then shut myself in to my study to work on another wedding invite and boy it took me a long time to do... I forgot to save geeshhhh and then my computer crashed GEESSHHHH. But it was good to be able to get some time without being bothered to do what I needed to do.

I had my heater on in the study because OMG it was like sooo cold today.

Tonight I am going to work on the wedding invites that I have to get done and so that is going to be cool to finally see a wedding getting started instead of doing all the thinking and planning... woohooo.

Had sushi for lunch again today yum yum yum and then once I finished that I met two other mums for a coffee and tried to work out what day and time we are going to meet as our lives have changed a bit in the last month since meeting up and holidays etc so it is going to be Thursday afternoons from now on (just before school gets out).

One of the ladies was saying that she is off in June for 5 weeks in Italy with her family and the 16 year old girl from next door (as she babysits the kids ) OMG I wish it was me going he he he. They are going first class etc... they own a business and put everything through their Visa etc so it gets them air points and that is how they paid for the tickets and then paid a little extra to be in first class... Oh I wish I was that rich!!! I wish that we could go on holidays like that but I cannot see it in the forseable future because we just don't save ho hum.

Picked up the boys and came back and did the homework and then hubby and I were off to parent interviews..

OMG I am sooo proud of my boys.... Corbin's teacher just thinks he is the bees knees and she said she has never met a boy like him and how he comes up with the most amazing facts and that he is such a sponge and she loves teaching him and has made sure she pushes him and she said (quite funny how she said it... it was sort of casual like) oh and btw he is in the gate program and I said "what is the gate program" she said he is officially been tested and he is a gifted child. I said "you are joking" and she said "NO he is a brilliant and clever little boy" now I was only thinking mothers thought this and I thought he was brilliant but now I have been told he has been tested as brilliant... woohoo for him.

I am glad that she pushes him because he is like his Dad in the fact that he is bright but doesn't push themselves and he just does what he is told but what get out of his square and she said she wasn't going to let him do that.

So we got out of there being very very very proud children.

Then we went to Quinn's room and he got a glowing report too and when he first started he was tested and it was normal but then this week he was tested and he had improved in a HUGE way and she was really happy with his progress... Quinn's teacher doesn't speak much but she is happy with his progress. Quinn is in the middle of his class ( just like I was he he he) and she said he is a pleasure to teach. She had only great things to say about him and so I was happy about that.

I got out and went to the car with hubby and cried... I know I know but I was sooo proud of my boys but then I was upset with myself because I didn't try as hard with Quinn (being the second child and I didn't have the one on one time with him) and I know that he could be just like Corbin and be top of the class if I didn't push him aside and if I worked harder with him he would be...

I don't want to sound unhappy but I look back at how I didn't put as much time and I don't want him to be disadvantaged just because I was too lazy to spend the same time. I was always average at school and my parents left school at 13 so they didn't know much about anything that I was learning. I don't want them to be disadvantaged... I want them to be anything they want even if it is a checkout operator or a mechanic or a policeman or a doctor... I want them to have as much of advantage to be anything that they wish to be to make their lifes happy...

So I am going to try to make them think more from now on and not just take yes and no and say "why do you think that' or "how did you come to that conclusion" etc.

I don't want to push them... I just want to make sure that they don't feel like I have not put enough time with them... does that make sense.

I love my boys and want them to be well rounded.

So anyway...

Food has been ok today... not wonderful and I haven't had my water because I got caught up in everything else and didn't actually think about getting a bottle of water GRRRRR naughty me.

Food:

Breakfast: 2 Toast
Lunch: Pork Chop (left over from other night don't want to waste it he he) and Toast
Dinner: Chicken, salad, veges
Snack: Small packet of chippies

Today is Anzac day... I cannot say it affects me too much but not that I don't care just that I haven't had anyone in my family that went through it.

So we had a day off work today and it was quite a family day. We got up at about 8am and went downstairs and had a family breakfast. It was nice to all sit down and have breakfast together because usually I am off as soon as finishing breakfast and my youngest is just getting up and the oldest has breakfast before I get down during the week.

Went and had a shower and then all of us went for a walk so I could get sushi for lunch it was a great walk and the weather was beautiful we all had a great time. When we got back I had my sushi and the others had tuna sandwiches.

We went to the building depot today to get stuff for my Wedding expo stall so that is going to be interesting getting it all together. I didn't spend too much so that is a bonus as well.

Got home and fixed up the study so that tomorrow I can sit and start a wedding that has booked.

It was then a the time to go down to the soccer field to go to Corbin's soccer practice. What a difference this year with the practices and the coach is doing so much better and not doing so much running and pressups and trying more with the techniques. I enjoyed watching how interested they were in the practice today and not getting frustrated with the coach making them do push ups ya know.

I am just rambling today.... I weighed myself today at home grrrrrr (and as usual the day after WW weigh in I am lighter grrrrr). I was 121.1 (at WW it would be 120.3 grrrrr does that not rip your nighty... I know it does mine he he).

I must say OMG I feel skinny today. I woke up feeling lighter and I feel slimmer and loved looking at myself in the mirror. I know that I haven't lost that much but OMG I felt great today. So I am going to take that as much as I can!!!

Hubby's mum went to soccer today to watch the practice and then came back for dinner and then we played Monopoly with the kids it was great.... now glad that the boys are in bed and I can relax.

Anyway not sure what else to say tonight so I am going to go.

Love ya all.
Chubbymum

First Weigh in for 10 week challenge

OK I went to my first Challenge weigh in tonight and...

I lost 300 grams but I am SOOOOO happy with that because I had a huge loss last week (even though WW said it was a gain) so 300 grams after 2.1 loss last week.

So hey it is 300 grams and I wanted it to be 500 grams a week but..... I have lost. I feel soooo happy about it and I feel more alive in the last couple of weeks being back on track but allowing myself treats and also not stressing about the food. I am doing a little bit of everything.... and thinking about what I am eating and when I REALLY want to eat so it is great.

Can you tell I feel good. Celtic Girl, Abba and Chrish come on girls your turn next... show us your wonderful losses etc this week. I know you can ALL do it and we will do it and if not this week then there are 9 more to go ya know... Just that we are all trying and that is the main thing aye.

I am trying to update this and watch Dancing with the stars at the moment. I want to learn how to salsa etc when I lose a little more weight.....

Ok this week is going to be a doozyyyy I am going to get more weight off and it is going to happen and as long as in 10 weeks I lose 5 kilos then I will be happy.

I am back feeling better about exercise and not scared to do anything for fear of my back. I still have to be careful for a couple of weeks but I am going to go back to Kickboxing class on Monday night. I can't wait... I keep on getting people ask when I am coming back so hey... have to go aye he he he.

I am off for the rest of the week now woohoooo. Tomorrow is Anzac day and hubby and I are off and we are going to go for a bike ride or walk with the kids and take the soccer ball and teach Quinn what dribbling is all about he he he.

Thank you for all the lovely comments yesterday and THANK YOU Lyn I will take all that on board and get my backside in order and OMG why the hell aren't you living in Hamilton he he he.

I don't know what to say about my day today really. It was all work and that is that! Bit of a boring one he he he

Also like to say WELCOME to all my new readers OMG I have had an influx of them in the last week... there is about 8 new people... come and comment and say to hi to everyone.

Love Chubbymum

Pressure

Just venting ok... not that I feel I can't do this...

Feeling quite pressured today... I think I am getting more and more nervous about the wedding expo. I want it to be done right and sometimes I can be such a perfectionist that I give up when I feel like I couldn't do it the way I have envisioned it... ya know?

I have to do so much before it as I am not willing to go into the expo and it not be perfect.. but where to start? I mean I have never had a stall.. so I have to organise the following and more:

1. a banner to say what I am trying to sell etc
2. I am going to get some orange material from somewhere as I want my colours to be up there and looking good. (my colours are orange black and white).
3. I am doing some labels on some bottles so that the bottles put a bit of depth into the stall because I have flat invites come on how exciting can you make them.
4. I have been checking out where to get t-shirts printed for me and hubby so that I have the logo and website on them.
5. My friend has the flower shop so she will have flowers on her side.
6. I am going to do a scrapbook on my invites for people to look at and I have to also try and put up some on the walls etc so that people can see the different ways to do their invites.

I am not too sure what else to do or how to display them... so if there are any suggestions out there feel free to help me out he he he

I just want it to be right and it to attract people to have me do their invitations.

Felt really hungry today... I just wanted to eat eat eat.

It was Quinn's first soccer practice today... he was sooo cute in his little outfit. The shorts are way too big because they are the smallest you can get and they were still too big he he my little monkey.

He didn't want to participate that much at the start today because he didn't know any of the kids. After about 15 minutes he was fully in to it and when they had a game he went for the ball and he tried sooo hard... I was sooooo proud of him. Quinn went all out it was fantastic.

I thought I would put some photos on here to show you how cute my little man is (he is only 5). His first game is on Saturday and it is going to be really interesting to watch.

It is interesting how kids think... there was one boy (and his mum said he is an only child and getting him in to soccer is a way to teach him to be a team player) and then just as she said that... they split the team up to play against each other and this boy got REALLY angry when the other team player boy got a goal... he went at him like an animal and tried to scratch him OMG it was the weirdest thing and the funny thing was that the boy that got the goal was a really shy boy and got really upset at being chased around like he was a nasty vermon...

All us parents couldn't believe what we were seeing. The shy boy came running to his mum and the mum that had the child being mean was telling him off and telling him he was in trouble and that he had to apologise (but the little boy wasn't going to) in the end I got them both together to tell them that they were really on the same team etc.. the shy boy didn't want to talk (not suprising actually) but in the end they played at the playground together and it seemed better...

Quite freaky really... I couldn't believe my eyes and I was PROUD that my son was playing well and playing fair... sooooo Proud!!!

Ok... I will go now.

I have my weigh in tomorrow but I don't know if I want to weigh in or not. My WW leaders are away this week and when they get a replacement for them it just isn't the same and it sucks really. ;-(

Food:

Breakfast: Weetbix, Milk and Fejoas
Lunch: 1 potatoe cut in half and stuffed with tuna and onion (stuffed potatoes)
Dinner: Steak, mashed potatoe, carrots, brussel sprouts
Snack: V
Water: 2 Bottles

What a day!!

How beautiful was the weather today here!! OMG it wasn't hot or anything but it was sunny a beautiful and not windy or anything.

Woke up at 9 and had a shower and then just played with my new laptop for an hour and then the hubby, kids and I went to the Lake to walk around and have an icecream and the boys wanted to play at the playground.

I decided to take the camera because it was just beautiful and I wanted to show everyone how lovely it was... So we walked 4km today and I am sooooo happy with that. It wasn't fast but I wasn't on my backside at home watching tv (which is what I wanted to do because I had such a busy day yesterday ya know).

When we got home a little while later and hubby's mum came around and wanted to take us (and my mum) out for afternoon tea so we went out to Woodlands in Gordonton... OOOHHHHH it is soooo pretty out there... I can understand why there are so many weddings at the function centre... the photos would be fantastic there. So we had a coffee and a piece of cake (yes a piece of cake but I don't care because ALL in moderation is what I am trying to do now)

We took so many photos and everyone just had a really good time. The day went so fast and the kids were just playing on the field with soccer balls etc and having fun. It was fantastic!!!!

The boys found a tree stump and climbed on the top and starting dancing with their backsides he he he so I took a photo without them knowing.

Below is my mum... she is 76 this year. I reckon she looks fab for 76.

Food Today:

Breakfast: 2 Toast, left over Macaroni
Lunch: Small tub of icecream (I know that I am eratic about my food but I didn't feel like lunch and I had this after our walk around the lake).
Dinner: Corn and Corned Beef homemade fritters
Water: 1 Bottle (I am slacking totally on the water front grrrr).
Exercise: 4km walk around the lake.

I have been trying my hardest to go with the flow with my food lately. I haven't been totally wonderful with the actual food but I thought for my first week on the challenge I would work out the hunger pang thing and not eat when I don't want to. I think that is why in the weekend I haven't been wanting to have lunch because I have been feeling so full... so I thought well if I don't want food why do I have to eat? Isn't eating supposed to happen so that we can survive and make sure we don't starve? Well that is what I am doing!! This has to work doesn't it... and if it doesn't then next week I can go back to what I was doing before.

I just want to work out what is right for me at the moment.

Love ya everyone
Chubbymum

Woohoooo - I have been SHOPPING!!!!

OMG OMG what a day....

I brought a toy today for my business!!!

A new Laptop!! Woohooo bloody Woohooo.

After talking with my friend on Wednesday it was discussed and the best option was to Lease a laptop... woohoo so I went down to Harvey Normans and I have leased my new laptop for 2 years and if there is anything that goes wrong with the laptop they will replace no problems and if there isn't one the same then they will upgrade it for no extra cost.

So wooohoooo... but I am typing this on my old laptop till I can get everything set up on my laptop. It has a webcam built in on it too he he so I am not too sure what I will use that for but thought maybe once a month I might save a little movie thingy and put it online so I can see the difference in my face etc while losing the rest of my weight... that is if that is what I can do with it because I have never used a web cam before he he...

I mowed the lawns today and did the grocery shopping as well... The whole day was spent doing those two things and of course buying MY NEW COMPUTER he he he.

What is wrong with me. I haven't been naughty but in the last two days I have not been enthused about losing the weight. I think it is because I am concentrating on my Papaya invites business more and not on food and exercise. How do people balance both? I am not too sure... how I am going to concentrate on both grrrr.

Hubby paid for my business website too and so it will be www.papayainvites.co.nz when we design the website that is.

OMG so this feels so real now. I have a business bank account, website, business card and a new laptop OMG OMG and I am going to my first expo too! I think the next thing I have to do is see how much it is for business banners so that I can have one on the expo site or it will look a little bare and I don't want to pay half for the stall and Tania's business get all the look ins ya know.

I have been thinking about how to get people to come to my site at the expo too and thought that maybe I would do a little competition so that I get them filling in forms with their names and addresses and get them to answer a question and then they can win one of my labels for a bottle of wine and I will design a label for one lucky winner... hmmm so what does everyone think about that?

BTW: ChrisH woohooo I am so glad that you are joining the 10 week challenge with us that is fantastic. I am sure that we are all going to do very well.

Food today:

Breakfast: Chicken bacon, Egg, Toast (weekends are nasty for me with big breakfasts)
Lunch: 10 rice crackers, cheese slices (thin)
Dinner: 2 Tuna stuffed potatoes, salad
Snack: V (yes ChrisH I am addicted arrghhh), Bits of hubbies chocolate easter egg (tut tut)
Water: 1 bottle
Exercise: 50 minutes lawn mowing, 2 hour grocery shopping

Love ya all
Chubbymum

Last day of School holidays

Woooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooo

Last day of school holidays today. I do LOVE my children so much but I also like having my days off so that I can achieve things I need to achieve and I also hate with a passion stopping them fight grrrr.

Got up this morning and didn't want to get out of bed but I knew I had to go to my PT with Joy this morning at her place (as she no longer works at the gym anymore).

So I got up and had an English Muffin and then decided I had time to spare so I would walk to her house for my PT session. It took me 15 minutes to walk there and it was SUCH a beautiful morning it was nice to get out and just think about things without being interrupted.

I got there and she said OH I am glad you are ready because we are going for a walk ARGGHHHHHH I like walking but her speed is like running he he he. I said to her I would be walking but I also want to be careful of my back if I am too tense when walking then there go my muscles and I pull my back out again so she sort of slowed it down.

So we went for a half an hour walk (so that adds to 45 minutes with the walk there) and then went back to her gym at her place and we did punch bag punching with gloves and then we concentrated on my upper body with pressups and then on the bench with weights doing chest pull things in three different ways... OMG sore chest sore upper arms and when she tried to up my weights it hurt my back so she put them down.

It was GREAT!!!! I enjoyed it more than going to the gym and doing it with her!! It was one on one and there were no interruptions (which was usually Kris) and there weren't any people there asking her questions while it was on my time.

She doesn't have any cardio machines but I didn't care!! I said to her I felt happier because it seemed like we got more done and I felt more relaxed because I wasn't worried if my shirt was right or if I was looking like a dork.

Now I didn't think I ever thought I did but after going to her place for the PT now I realise that I am self conscious about whether my top is down hiding my tummy or not... Wow... isn't it funny how your self conscious works.

I walked home and when I got home I got a phone call from Tania saying that we have to come up with a blurb for our two business for the pamplets about the Wedding Expo... so I am going to talk to hubby tonight to see what we can come up with for my part.

Tania also said "what are you doing in June" OMG I said "as long as it doesn't cost me money!!" he he he and she said "well sort of" grrrrr she wants me to train with her to do the TeAwamutu 8km walk. I said I would do it but with my back I am not over doing it because my physio said 3 to six months and I have only been ok in the last week and that is just ok... so I have another target to head for.

So I said to her are you working this afternoon and she said no and I said lets go to the lake and walk around it (it is 4km) and she said "but I have the kids" and I said "I have the kids too" she said they wouldn't walk around it (now her kids are older than mine by about a year). I said the reason your kids wouldn't do it is because you keep saying that they wouldn't... if you didn't be so negative they would.

Quinn and Corbin have been going around the lake walking for 2 years now and they started when they were almost 4 and almost 6 so she cannot tell me a 7 and two 9 year olds cannot walk around it... that was just an excuse.. and I told her that. So she said yes...

YES YOU GUESSED IT she called back in an hour and said she couldn't make it as she couldn't squeeze in the time OMG first practice run and chickens out GEE WHIZ. I just left it at that because if she doesn't want to try I cannot push her.

She lost 35 kilos before going down to Hokitika and she has gained it all back since coming back.. she said she has only gained a little but OMG even hubby said she is fooling herself because she is looking bigger than when we met her. This is the lady we went to the Easter camping with... I DO LOVE her dearly but I just want her to stop using excuses but I cannot do anything about that and I have to support her.

I am glad in a way that we are doing this walk because at least she is thinking about it and she wants to do it... so we are getting somewhere I suppose.

Wow... I think I was getting a bit angry this year because I hadn't done that many challenges and now I have a mixture of business and exercise challenges.

I now have the Wedding Expo and the Te Awamutu 8km walk. That is a great start don't ya reckon.

Tonight is my business meeting with Hubby he he he we need to set some goals and tasks so I don't feel overwelmed because at the moment I don't know where to start.

I have been a little bit laxed on my food this week and I am quite angry with myself. I have three days of being good so that I can get some more weight off this week and I HAVE TO STAY FOCUSSED, I HAVE TO!!

The boys start their soccer practice next week and then the soccer games next Saturday OMG it has started again boohooooo.... I am not managing the teams this year because it is too much with two teams and trying to go to their games are going to be interesting enough he he.

Food Today:

Breakfast: 1 English Muffin, Chicken Bacon
Lunch: Corned beef sandwich, V
Dinner: Chicken, Macaroni, Beans, Tomato
Water: 2 litres
Exercise: 1 hour PT with Joy and 30 minute walking

Papaya ARGGHHHHHHHHHH

First day of 10 week challenge....
I haven't done too bad and I am feeling good about it and I am soooo greatfull that Celtic girl and I are doing it together and do you want to know the MOST WEIRDEST THING EVER... we both weighed in for the challenge and we both have a start weight of 121.6 he he he DO YOU NOT FIND THAT THE WEIRDEST THING EVERRRRRR??? Woohooo Celtic girl we are going to do it!!!

I must say that I had a tear in my eye reading Celtic Girls blog here today re the awards and what she wrote about me... I never knew I was one of the first blogs she ever read and OMG how she described me Nahhhh he he he I can't be that person.. I don't see myself as that person he he he... WOW (tear coming down my cheek)

Welcome Abba and I am sooo glad you are doing the 10 week challenge with Celtic girl and I... maybe us three should get our heads together on how we can keep each other motivated aye!!
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Yesterday...

Work was ok yesterday... it seemed more relaxed or something and I had plenty of time left to do little bits and pieces.

Went to the garden centre in the afternoon after work to see if they had any swamp plants because my mother in law gave us 2 caterpillars and a little branch of swamp plant but they had eaten it all and she didn't have more.... but they didn't have any and the boys had pocket money of $2 and they wanted to spend spend spend so I suppose it was better than spending it on lollies and they both brought a punnet of flowers each he he he cute aye.

After we saw Tania driving down the road so I texted her to see if she had an swamp plant and OMG she did so she gave me the whole tree as her caterpillars were getting eaten by praying mantis grrr so I took the plant and put our two caterpillars on it and now they are living happily ever after he he he can't wait till they go into a chrysllis.

Tania phoned me at work and said "are you doing anything on the 22nd July?" I said "ummmm No I don't think so" and she said "good I hope you have $250 as well" OMG I took a breath and said "What the hell for?".

She said "I have booked you and me in for the Wedding expo and we are going to share a stall" OMG OMG OMG that is when I freaked and said "I don't know if I can do that" she said "well too bad!!!"

I think I am too scared to do it!
I know I can do the invites just that it is like being judged and what if no one books me or wants to visit me?
Also how do I do a stall with my invites (or half a stall?)
How do I present my stuff and how do I present the stall???
OMG only 13 weeks until I have to have prices and sets of Wedding stuff.

So I called my friend that has just finished her studies in accounting and she came over last night and we went through all the stuff about GST and if it was worth registering for GST etc but really in the long run until I earn $40,000 or over it isn't worth it just yet. But she has shown me ways to claim for things and to do my tax returns.

So I went this morning and got a business bank account and a business manager that will help me with anything I need.

I got a record book for my mileage and a Calendar for my wall.

I felt empowered and sooooo happy that finally I think this is going to BE THE RIGHT thing for me and this is the business I am going to succeed in and if it takes years I don't care because it is something creative and I am happy doing it.

So I have worked out a 13 week plan to get things done for the Wedding Expo woohooooo, and I have to keep to it so I can get this right. I am a Virgo can anyone tell he he he?

I weighed myself again this morning (ok I am not addicted just wanting to keep myself on track) and I weighed at home at 121.1 kilos (equivelant to WW 120.3 kilos) woohooooo. Now I have to just keep going down in the right direction because I don't want to go back to feeling bad about myself.

Took the boys to a 2 hour holiday program at the gym this morning so that I could go and get all my stuff done like business bank account and stuff and they just enjoy it and it doesn't cost me anything because hubby and I are members so 2 hours a week in the holiday's is fanbloodytastic.

Last night when my friend Denise came over to talk about GST we asked her for dinner and the boys were on their best behaviour and then didn't have to be asked and they got their showers (remembering that they are 5 and 7 years old) and they cleaned their teeth and cleared the table and set the table and went to bed and read their books before lights out and they didn't disturb us by getting out of the bed OMG I was soooo proud of them (and was wondering where my boys were he he he)

So this morning hubby and I said to the boys that we were really happy with how wonderful they were last night and how they made us proud and I treated them today. Ice Age 2 was on sale for $19 so I went and brought that and brought a cake mix so that they could cook a cake and have for afternoon tea and watch the DVD... (which is what they are doing now while I update my blog he he he).

Kris phoned me while I was on my computer yesterday and OMG she talked for 45 minutes on the phone and I just said ah yes ah and by the end of it OMG what was I thinking why didn't I just say piss off? Whooppeee she has gotten her life together and worked out this and that... well if she would have listened to her friends a year ago then there wouldn't be a problem.... yep yep yep finally over her... yep yep yep sad sad sad person.

Love ya
Chubbymum
.................................................................................................

Today's Food:

Breakfast: English Muffin, Chicken Bacon, Egg
Lunch: English Muffin, Chicken Bacon
(hmmmm just wanted another one for lunch sue me he he)
Dinner: Corned beef, Potatoe, Carrot, Cauliflour, String Beans
Snack: 5 Marshmellows
Exercise: Walked 40 minutes with boys around the block

..................................................................................................

Yesterday's Food:

Breakfast: 2 Sandwich Bread, Chicken
Lunch: Vogel Bread, Chicken, Pickle, Lettuce
Dinner: Chicken Tikka (homemade), Rice, Beans
Snack: Chocolate Brownie, V (went out for morning tea and this is my one treat this week).
I am going to let myself have one treat a week as I need to have a treat.
Exercise: Walked 40 minutes with boys around the block

Blogger Award

You know... my ticker says that I have had 19 people read my blog on average every day but isn't it funny that you all don't comment... am I that boring?

............................................................

Thank you Lyn for giving me a blogger award... it is such a previlidge and I was beaming for quite some time after reading.

So since I have been tagged with the Blogger Award I now have to go by the rules and choose 5 bloggers:

The Rules:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.

2. Link to this post (www.thethinkingblog.com) so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.

And here are my 5 fellow blogger awards ...

Leenie: Now I know that Leenie was already tagged by someone... but I have to put her down as my NO 1 Inspiration and without Leenie's blog I wouldn't have started my journey that I am down now... I copied Leenie's whole blog and took it away with me on holiday (2 years ago) and read the whole damn thing... he he he YOU ROCK my friend.

Felicity: Girl you amaze me with all the duathlons and other exercise stuff you do and you are a great friend and I know that you are always there for me if I need you.

Celtic Girl: Hun you always manage to make me laugh and you are thought provoking with your blog and you are always there to help anyone with such a great loving manner.

Lee-Anne: You are amazing and interesting woman and after meeting you I am sure that we are going to be great friends.

Lynise: OMG how do I start with you my friend. The long emails and the posts hun keep me going. You are kind, caring, funny, inspirational, ALWAYS there to help and offer anything that you can. You are one amazing woman and I am SOOO blessed to have met you.

I know I am only allowed 5 but I am having 6!!! he he he

Janene: Girl!!! You have so much in you to achieve and I believe that it will all come together for you. You inspire me to keep going and you are always there to give advice and to cheer me up! Things are going to happen for the better for you in your new direction. Right now it might not seem it but I know that you will succeed with anything you put your mind too. Thank you.

Wow that was hard because everyone I read deserves to be in the five ya know.... so if you weren't it wasn't because I didn't think you were all FANBLOODYTASTIC.

Thoughts - and UPDATE!!!

.....................UPDATE BELOW....................

I have been thinking so much in the last week on how I can improve my food and my lifestyle change because I did rely so much on my exercise.

I must admit this year has been a bit of a downer so far because of last years achievements with all the exercise things I did I am feeling quite disoriented this year and that is why I am trying to work out ways to keep me motivated.

I am trying to gage what the feeling is when I am hungry. Because before when I thought I was hungry really I wasn't and it was just because (maybe?) I was bored etc.

So today was my first day at this. For breakfast I had left over chicken with two toast because I was in a hurry and I hate to eat in the car (I know I know people are going to say that isn't good eating in the car but when you start work at 7.30 and have to sort kids etc out then that has to happen) and it only happens some days not everyday.

I thought then I wasn't going to eat anything until I can feel it in my tummy that I needed food and I had this ache in my tummy around 10am and it was like OMG if I don't eat something NOW I would die he he he but in actual fact I knew that I wouldn't die but I don't usually let myself get to that hunger pang stage and was quite scared (if that is the word).

So I had 10 rice crackers to serve the hungry pang and I went for a walk down the road with a workmate (which we are trying to do every Mon, Tue, Wed mornings) so she could get a good coffee and I could see the sunshine (and not be stuck in my little dungeon all day he he he).

It felt good to know that I could feel that hunger pang but get rid of it by eating the right thing and not by just putting food in my mouth because it was morning tea or lunch or afternoon tea etc (which I hate doing by the way...)

I am not much for wanting to eat just because it is time and I have to... I think that is what was doing my head in last year on Joys eating plan because I was being told to do something at a certain time it made me NOT want to do it and also the food was varied enough for me. I find that when I am told to eat something I really don't want it and will try my hardest to rebel (GEESH terrible aren't I?).

So this week I am concentrating on listening to my body.

I am still going to go to Weight Watchers every week... it is a habit that I don't want to break just yet.. I do find that it doesn't feel the same anymore and that maybe because I have heard it all before and realistically I know what they are going to say and I know what I should be doing and I really need more than that... and realistically I can't get more than that because there are too many people.

I was talking to hubby about it because I don't want to waste money and I don't want to pay just for the priviledge to weigh when I can do that at home. For people that have 10 kilos to loose it isn't such a lot of money but I have been doing it for 2 years and it adds up. I know that I can't put a price on my health.. I do realise that. But I haven't been for 3 weeks because of my back and the holidays and I have managed to get myself back on track and back in the right headspace.... so I can do this without WW just that for a little while longer I don't want to do it without WW.

I am going to give it till the end of the 10 weeks and see what happens because right now I am not too sure if I am getting anything out of it. I know this sounds harsh and I know maybe some of you will disagree but I used to look forward to going to WW and I knew at the end of the meeting I could talk to the girls but I can't anymore... I don't feel like I can be free to say what I want because Debbie stands there listening and even when she can see that I don't want her to be there she hovers and I can't talk... I can't talk because... I don't know really.... because I don't want her knowing everything about me... or maybe I feel like she is taking over the one place that I TRULY felt comfortable and happy and I wasn't the FAT person anymore, and she overpowers the meeting now?

Now I feel like a little school girl. I don't mean to sound like that or to be harsh because I know that Debbie has a lot ot lose as well and she is just lonely but sometimes I just want to talk to the WW girls SOOOOO much and losing weight is such a personal thing and I HATE Debbie telling me that I should do this, and I should do that, when I see her eating chocolate and biscuits every morning tea at work it is such a contradiction in my eyes. In front of people at work saying to me I can't wait till you lose a little more so we can wear the same size clothes OMG I just wanted to slap her... I would never NEVER ever make someone feel like that and make others think that ohhh she is smaller than her that is just down right rude. So that was another reason that I didn't want to tell her my weight at Weight Watchers anymore and that if she didn't know then she couldn't treat me like crap. I even thought that I wouldn't tell the group that I had got another 5 kilos or a stone etc because I didn't want her to know.

Hubby seems to think that I am yoyoing in the last couple of weeks because if I reach that 35 kilos then I am going to have to say "I just got another 5 kilo star etc" and then Debbie would know how much I have lost. I have a feeling that hubby was right and in my subconscious I was feeling that. I don't want to sabotage myself!!! I want to lose this weight... I just need to find a way to feel MYSELF that the numbers don't matter and so what if she knows. I am not too sure what I can do about that right now.

So it is Weight Watchers tonight. I hopped on the scales this morning and they said 121.9 (200 grams up from yesterday typical being weigh in day) and this afternoon I reckon it will change again so I have to take what I get at weigh in tonight and if I gain I gain... at least it isn't as bad as it was last week with Easter etc. I mean 124.4 at home (123.6 at WW (2.7 gain in 2 weeks ouch)) and now at home saying 121.9 ... that means 2.5 kilos I have lost in the last week.. I am happy with that and even though my WW booklet won't say it I know I HAVE done really well.

So... I have my challenge starting tomorrow!!! Both Celtic girl and I are doing it and I can't wait to show a loss next Tuesday!!

I have to get to the TEENS... I am tired of saying I want to get to the TEENS and it looks like it is getting further and further away... I HAVE to do it...

So PLEASE if anyone is out there and wants to take up the Challenge... then come and do it with us. It doesn't HAVE to be 500 grams a week it can be a realistic amount for you... just come and join the 10 week challenge. And if you do!! Mention it on your blog and lets get this Challenge/Group Motivation going.

I do feel so motivated this week and I also think that is because a lot of the bloggers are feeling postitive lately too and it is catching. But we are only human and some days or weeks it just isn't the case and that is ok too... but the positiveness is fantastic at the moment.

Anyway will update you on my weigh in tonight.

I am not going to lose (by Weight Watchers scales) but I am a loser!! I am!! and I am proud that I have been good this week.

Food today:

Breakfast: 2 Sandwich Bread, Chicken
Snack: 10 Rice Crackers
Lunch: 2 Vogel bread, Chicken, Lettuce, Pickle
Dinner: Chicken breasts, Peas, Carrots, Cauliflour
Water: 1 bottle so far
( I think it is a Chicken day today.. didn't plan it really to be like that just happened but they are all done a different way so hey!!)

Took my Vitamins for the third day in a row too... I am not good at taking them... good at buying them but I am trying so hard to keep up with taking my Vitamins every morning and I am feeling better for it.

Love Chubbymum

..............UPDATE..............

Ok so my update is good as far as I am concerned... so this is how it goes.

Even though I didn't do an official weigh in last week at WW I weighed at home:

Last week at home: 124.4
Which would have been at WW: 123.6
(Usually 800 grams difference between my scales and WW)

This week at home: 122.3 (at night)
WW Official weigh in: 121.6

So... for me that is in one week
I have lost 2.1 kilos and I am proud!!!!

But..yep there is a but... by WW scales say I gained 700 grams
and I have gained 700 grams
but I still lost this week to get off the weight that I gained
with my back and bloody easter he he he.

I am really proud of myself even though I gained.. I LOST!

Monday - Thinking a lot

I have been thinking a lot this weekend and reading more weight loss stuff so that I can get my motivation back up and running.

I so want Helena's book and I am going to save up to get it because I need the lots of motivation.

So anyway my 10 week challenge is now me and Celtic Girl woohoooo I am not alone doing this and I think that motivates me more because I have to be accountable now.

As you all know I gained like 2 kilos (unofficially over Easter OMG ) My homes scales last week said 124.4 OMG I was sooo upset with that.. and so I set myself this challenge to get my new wardrobe in 10 weeks and this morning I weighed myself and I DRUM ROLL PLEASE... 121.7 OMG that is soooooooo fantastic. I have watched what I ate and just ate when I wanted to and not that I have to have this and that and snacks etc... it has been better with food.

I suppose in a way having a sore back I wasn't concentrating on food all the time and wanting wanting wanting food so that made a huge difference.

My rings are starting to annoy me too... so maybe I was holding a lot of water or something because now I think I might have to go and get my rings taken in... for fear that they are going to fall off... grrrr more money.

My old boss Nikki came in to work this morning and I told her about Papaya and she is going to get me to do her Dad's 60th birthday invites and she also wants me to do her invites for her 10th Anniversary with her other half for next year so I have two more to do OMG I think I can do this!

I brought The New Zealand Bride magazine too and once I have done a couple of jobs on Papaya and got the website up and running then I am going to put an advertisement in the magazine to get more work because I think I am going to do this... I think it is going to work. It might get to the stage that I hire someone to help me do them he he he now I am getting ahead of myself aye.

Thanks Anne for your advice... I am meeting with a friend this week as she is an accountant and seeing what we she suggests.

Thanks Leenie I had looked at the website before I wrote my post yesterday but I wanted it to be a little more indept because I didn't know what to choose for a couple of things as I have never set up a business etc and if I make the wrong choice re invoicing etc then I have to apply to change and I want to get it right the first time.

Got a compliment from a girl at work today asking if I had lost weight as I am looking fantastic and she wanted to tell me last week (now this girl doesn't say boo to me at work she is really quiet). I felt fantastic. I think I need those compliments to keep me going sometimes (just like Anne had mentioned a couple of posts ago and when it stops then you wonder if what you are doing is noticeable.)

I have my appointment with my physio tonight so I hope it goes just as well as last week as my back has been better since then.. not 100% but much better.

Today's Food:

Breakfast: 3 Weetbix and 2 Vogel
(decided to put more food into my breakfast and see how it goes this week)
Lunch: Left over casserole
Dinner: 4 Burgen Bread, snitzel, tomato, lettuce
Water: 2 Bottles Water
Too much bread today.. at least it was Burgen etc but still no excuse.

Sunday - Gym done

Went to the gym this morning with Delwyn and hubby and it was ok.. the gym seems flat lately like there is no life left in it at the moment.

I did 20 minutes on the treadmill and then some leg lifts and then went on the water bike... Also managed to do some dumbell lifts... but that was all for me. I am glad that I went but sort of not glad as my calf muscle is killing me now and before anyone says it... YES I did stretch before and after and during because Delwyn pulled a calf muscle about six months ago and she had stretches that she was given by her physio so she taught me them.

Celtic girl yes they were codiene tablets OMG what a nightmare of a night and the headaches are atrocious aren't they... but it is over with now hopefully. I am a little bit scared to go to the toilet now though he he he but have to get over that don't I.

ChrisH I don't know much about GST claiming and that so it scares me that I will register and then have to pay soooo much back that it wouldn't be worth it? I really have to get down to business and check out all about GST etc.

So until I do I am not going to pay for another laptop until I delve more in to it (or if anyone here knows about it?)... apparently there are business lease ones and you can claim back on it too... I am cautious when it comes to things like that because I don't want to get stung the other way around... you know what IRD can be like (well that is what I have heard).

Can you all please link me on your blogs (if you have links) as I would love to be out there more now but please link http://cmlosingit.blogspot.com I need all the comments and motivation I can get as I am sick of my plateauing.

Will update more later

Food Today:

Breakfast: 1 toast bread with Jam (feeling not too well to eat)
Lunch: 2 Vogel bread, Chicken, tomato, slice cheese, pickle, lettuce
Dinner: Casserole, Rice
Snacks: Prunes (lots he he he)
Water: 2 Bottles

Looking for a new laptop

Woke up at 9.30am but didn't get out of bed till 12.00 because I had a huge headache and I am constipated (ewww I know you didn't want to know that). The doctor said that if I took the pain killers it would make me constipated and grrrr now I know it!!!

Had prunes and lots of water but not shifting and it is sooo hard to sit with constipation OMG OMG if it isn't one thing it is another.

So anyway after I got myself up we went out looking for a new laptop as this one is sooo slow that it takes like 20 minutes before it starts so hubby and I thought if I am going to do Papaya then I am going to have to have something that can handle the work...

Hubby wanted to go and get it but I decided that I wanted to be GST registered before getting the laptop or if I do start making money I wouldn't be able to claim a thing and I want to be able claim ya know??? But I don't know too much about GST to know.

Had a coffee with Delwyn (from Lean group) tonight at her place it was nice catching up.. she just came back from Samoa and so we are going to the gym with her tomorrow morning... it has been so long since going to the gym with Delwyn and I am looking forward to it even if I am limited to what I can go on, but damn it I am going to get back in shape.


Food today:

Breakfast: Egg, Toast
Lunch: Nothing as I had my breakfast late
Dinner: Roast Beef (leftover), Cauliflour, Carrots, Courgettes, Potatoe, Beans
Snacks: 4 Ryvita with Tomato, coffee
Water: 3 Bottles

Postive Thing that happened today: Delwyn texted to catch up and ask how I was.. I am thankful for friends today.

Movies

Got up at 8.30am as I was still feeling ikky with the painkillers and I think it drys me out too as I had a splitting headache but I got up and went to the gym by 9am to meet with Joy.

I wasn't allowed to do a lot by what the physio said but hey I wanted to get some exercise. (P.S I know that I could go and do swimming or aqua or something and would love to but even putting undies on is hard and have to have hubby to help so going swimming would be harder getting the togs on and off without pulling a muscle... as it is the bending that is getting me).

Anyway so I went to my PT and Joy had me on the treadmill but I think I wasn't warmed up enough for it as it was hurting a little. So she got me on the water bike with my arms for 10 minutes and that was good as I didn't feel like it was hurting and when she was chatting to me at the same time I sort of forgot that I was sore it was wonderful. After that we went and did some weights with my legs and that was fantastic as I could use my legs without it hurting my back and my calf muscle was a little tight but we stretched them and things were on a roll.

I didn't feel like I was sweating like I usually do but at least I was doing something.

It was Joy's last day at the gym (but she wasn't telling them until 5pm that she wasn't coming back) so she was pretty nervous about it all but she was also excited as she has been getting her garage all set up with gym stuff. I am looking forward to it but then scared too because I know the gym so well and feel comfortable there.

Came home got a shower ready for hubby to come home at 12 so that we could all go out for lunch and then the movies for school holidays.

We went to have lunch in town.. I had chicken kebab, the boys had subway and hubby had chinese... I reckon I chose wisely and it was yummy too.

The movie we went to see was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and it was ok but Quinn was being a right little nightmare and couldn't keep still. I have totally different children... Corbin is easy going and can sit and watch a movie or read a book and generally keep still where as Quinn has like HUGE termites in his pants and cannot keep still longer than 5 minutes and he drives me insane with that... he has to constantly have someone playing with him or talking to him and it drives me insane because you could play with him all day and he still won't let you have 5 minutes peace.

The movie was good but I wouldn't take Quinn again as it went over his head.

While we were out mum cooked a nice roast beef meal for us and we had that while she was at bingo.... it was a nice night when the boys went to bed as hubby and I read books and basically just chilled. I have so many books and magazines that I need to catch up with that it was nice just to chill.

I think I am back on track again???? I really do want to lose this weight but with not exercising I just haven't been able to get my head around how I do it and still enjoy my food...

Food today:

Breakfast: 2 Sandwich Bread toasted, Jam
Lunch: Chicken Kebab and Falafel, V
Dinner: Roast Beef, Kumera, Carrot, Pumpkin, Peas

Headache day!!!

Woke up with such a headache this morning.... hubby thinks it is the pain killers that doctor gave me. I felt better with my back a little this morning so all the poking and prodding on my back from physio last night did something I suppose... it feels like I have a bruise on my side of my butt though he he he.

Been good with food today... not been overly wonderful but been good.

They have a holiday program at the gym today so I booked the boys in for the 2 hours and they have soooo much fun making friends etc and I have two hours to have to myself. So I took mum shopping and I brought the NZ Wedding Magazine so I can look at it and work out what sort of ad I want to put in for Papaya Invites.

I also went looking in the book stores for Helena's bible but they didn't sell them..... it looks like I will have to revert to buying it online... (which I hate because you always pay more ho hum).

Took the wine bottle to work to Carol who got me to make it for her daughters 21'st and I am kicking myself because I didn't take a photo of it.... but I got there and the others saw it and now I have to do one for a 30th one for a 75th and the lady that I am doing the wedding invites for wants me to do some for the tables at the wedding he he he so I got so many orders from it... and I had one from last week for her hubby for his business too (something about winning something hmmm not too sure yet).

I think this business is going to take off!! At least I hope it will.

Next thing I have to do is organise the website and then put an ad in the New Zealand Bridal Magazine.... thanks Lyn.

Got the kids and got them subway and I went and got sushi hmmmm sushi for lunch.

Had to take Corbin to the doctor today as he had an infection on his knee and it has gotten infected (Janene I think it like the boil you have and I have had) So he got antibiotics and while we were waiting in the waiting room a man about 80 years old came up to me and said "you have a well mannered son you should be proud" Wow... tingles came all over me what a nice thing to say... he said that the kids that just left were rude to their mum and needed a quick swift smack. I said Thank you my son is a really good boy and Corbin blushed.

The weather has turned to crap this afternoon... this morning it was beautiful and the sun was shining but this afternoon it has gotten really dark and rainy so the boys asked to have a DVD and we got Ant Bully and it is soooo good and the boys just love it. I brought some other DVDs too for the grown ups he he he... I like murder mysteries so I got some for tonight and also Blackadder (2) because we have Blackadder (1) and I would like to see more... Rowen atkinson is a darling isn't he.

Feeling more positive today... got my first PT in three weeks with Joy tomorrow and it is going to be interesting to see what she does with me... I can't do the cross trainer, bike or rower GRRRRRRRRRRRR so we shall see how she can get me back in to shape aye.

I miss Joy but she still keeps in contact and has been texting me to see how things are going so that is great.

My rings on my fingers are getting too big for me now.. I am a little scared to wear my wedding rings because it feels like I am losing weight in my fingers... nowhere else though he hehe but my fingers go figure.

I looked at the scales this morning and I am down wohoooooo. On Tuesday night I was disgusted with myself because even though I couldn't get to WW I could weigh at home and it said 124.4 OMG I was screaming with anger (take off 800 grams and it is the WW scales weight) so that is 123.6 GRRRR which means I had gained 2.7 kilos grrrr I hate that I can't do exercise... but this morning I weighed myself and I was 122.1 (WW 121.3 so that is only a gain of 400 grams... so I have to work my backside off this week to make sure I get to the teens...

So if I am going to get to 119.7 (WW scales) I have to be 120.5 (at home) so 1.6 kilos has to come off this week!!! I am going to achieve this!!! I am making sure that my meals are smaller than normal because of not doing the exercise so it has to happen!!

I know all these figures but it will keep me focussed. I have to get this weight off!! I am not giving up just beeen in a slump over the fact I can't do the exercise I usually do.

I cannot wait to get the Leenie Bible from the library because it will get me more focussed!!!

Anyway good night everyone... I am SOOOOOOOOOO loving the comments and people that care about me... I do appreciate it

I don't know if you have noticed but I have a 10 week challenge on my side bar.

I am going to do a 10 week challenge to lose 500 grams a week for 10 weeks and get to 115.7 kilos.

I am tired of not getting there!!! So this is going to keep me focussed.

My prize at the end is a WHOLE NEW OUTFIT.... As I NEED clothes

Love Chubbymum

Food today:

Breakfast: Homemade Banana pancakes (3 small)
Lunch: Sushi and Coffee Frappe (made with water and no cream on top)
Dinner: Chicken, carrots, peas, salad
Water: 2 bottles so far

Lovely Lyn

I forgot to put the beautiful photo

of Lovely Lyn up yesterday!!!

What was wrong with me GEESH...

My coffee with Lyn was great and here we are...

both of us making sure that Tania took the photo

from the right spot upwards he he he what a laugh.

Went to the physio tonight and he is convinced it is my back for sure and not the calf and hamstring being the main culprit. Hubby got off work early and took me because driving home today I felt like I was going to fall asleep at the wheel... GEESH. Why are physio's sooooo painful OMG hubby said that he had his elbow into my back I was in so much pain and he just kept going it was horrible. But I feel a little better since though so that is great.

Saw Joy afterwards and she said that there has been so many people coming up to her asking why they haven't seen me around the gym in the last couple of weeks and also a couple of people asking why the lovely couple weren't at the kickboxing classes anymore he he he so we were missed.

Joy is finishing this Friday at the gym and the guy doesn't know it... she is on contract till then and has started setting up a gym in her garage and is going to do personal training from home and starting the Lean group over there as well. So our night time Lean is going to start soon afterwards OMG I cannot wait because I need it!! I need to get back in to a group and a new group will be good for me. Daniel isn't going to leave the gym and go with her to her business so I am soooo happy with that because I enjoy just Joy as the trainer.

I have tried today to be good with my food and have decided to put my food down at the bottom like Sue and Leenie are doing and maybe it will keep me on track. I haven't eaten too much today but that is because these tablets are making me feel quite sick to the stomach so food isn't on my mind at all.

I have been thinking about the books that Leenie has been reading (her bible as she calls it) and I put a reservation on one of them at the Library so I can't wait till I get that. I have been also been raiding the internet about the author as well to find out more information.

I have also added something new to my Papaya business as I was asked to do a wine label for a 21st for a lady at work's daughter and she loved the designs I did and showed others at work and now I have 4 orders OMG that was the easiest way to make a little bit of money ever he he he so I am going to put them as part of Papapya too... it was sooo much fun.

Food today:

Breakfast: Weetbix and milk
Lunch: Ham and Egg sandwich
Dinner: Fish (on George Forman) Salad
Snack: Plums
Water: 2 Bottles

Been in a funk

Been in a funk today!!!

Back at work but my back was killing me today.

Over the weekend things seemed to go ok with my back and I had twinges here and there but they were bearable but today I was in agony. I went to the doctor's after work and got some different pain killers and they make me feel just as weird as the ones I took in the weekend.

The pain killers the doctor gave me Thursday morning made me feel really relaxed and that was good but I felt so light headed it was a strange feeling and then on the Friday morning I threw up and felt really bad for the whole morning.

I am so hoping that these tablets do the trick.

I didn't go to WW tonight and there were a couple of reasons...

1. I was in agony and I could not have sat in my chair and listened and driving there wasn't good either.
   
2. I haven't been that wonderful since not being able to exercise and I had an email from one of my WW leaders and she was straight to the point that exercise doesn't mean I can't lose the weight (and I know she is right) but I have been a stupid cow (yes I know guys I said stupid again) I have not tracked and I have not really wanted to... I have given up in the last couple of weeks.
   
3. I have gained!!! I just know it and I feel it!!

I feel like a broken record and had a huge breakdown with hubby tonight about it all. I feel so out of control and I just wanted to finish with WW this week for good because I just haven't cared. I shouldn't use the back as an excuse but honestly today I was in so much pain at work with my back that there was a morning tea and I didn't stop at just one thing!!

I got my ACC letter today saying that I was covered for my back. I am so happy about that because I think I will be going to the physio quite a lot until it is sorted as I am going back to my exercise because I feel so down in the dumps and my emotions are all over the place when I am not being active and I am not liking it.

Anyway.... hubby and I have a plan from tonights dinner that I am going to cut everything down but a quarter. So for dinner I had chilli con carne and salad and it was filling. I am also going to cut down on the carbs as I eat too much of them.

I do want to keep with this lifestyle change. This afternoon while sitting in my office I was feeling sorry for myself and I was totally going to give up! I was!!! but after getting off my sad horse I know I can't do that.

Tomorrow I will:

1. Go for a walk even if it is just down the street and back and not to overdo it so my back hurts.


2. Drink my water.


3. Have a good breakfast so I don't feel that I have to nibble.

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Ok my bitch over now...

Attached are some photos of my camping trip and I know I haven't sad too much about the weekend but to be honest I don't want to... because I would say negative things and I want to remember that I had time with my family and that was the most precious thing that weekend (apart from meeting lovely lyn that is he he).
Above my boys were sitting on a lovely rock at Karangahape Gorge and I just loved how delicious they looked. My boys were so happy to be going on holiday... look at their faces and this was only the first day he he he.

Corbin took this photo little cheeky monkey. We thought we would catch a kiss while the boys took a photo of the water and he turned around and took a photo of us instead he he he.

Isn't Wahi just beautiful!!!! I just love this photo and I loved walking up this beach in the weekend and I also loved just sitting there and taking it all in.

This is hubby and Tania's hubby and the kids making sandcastles and having a great time.

Like father like son... Hubby called me and I turned around and there he was taking a photo of me relaxing at the beach... but I do like this photo I must say.

We went long line fishing and we caught a sting ray OMG I was like gobsmacked because I didn't think that stingray's would have been that close to shore but they are and you would be happy to know that we set it free to go back to the sea poor thing.

Good night everyone... I need to get some sleep.

Love ya

Chubbymum

Camping

Hi Everyone

I am at Bowentown camp and just loving it. I must say I am a little tired of my back and it has gotten much better since the middle of last week that is for sure.

Thursday
Well Wednesday night I was in so much pain that I booked in for the doctor this morning. She ended up sending me for a blood test as she thought maybe I could have had a blood clot so I was terrified for an hour and she said that I would have to stay in Hamilton because if the blood test came back positive then I would have to go and have a scan or something and I said well I would be just coming back because I was going on this holiday.

I got a phone call on my cellphone to say that it was Negative woohoooo so I am glad we took off for the holiday anyway.

It was great after getting the negative results and we stopped at Karangahake Gorge and walked across the bridges and took photos and had some fun with the boys. I enjoyed it a lot.

We got to the Waihi township and I went in to a tiny $2 shop and got spades and buckets and they were the best investment for this holiday that is for sure.

We went down to the beach with my kids and Tania's kids that afternoon and spent time getting wet and sandy and it was a blast and all the kids just get on so well. Tania didn't come down she just wanted to sit around reading so she missed out on her kids having fun... but then she turned up and all she could do was shout at her kids to get out of the water and stop getting so dirty that I turned to her and said go back to the camp ground and I will tidy them up as they are kids and need to have some fun.

I am liking having the two families together but want to shake Tania because her kids can't be kept in cotton wool all their lives or it is just not fair.

So needless to say hubby and I had 5 kids this weekend and not 2 he he he but we got shells and walked along the beach and it was good.

Tania and her mum argue more than me and my mum do and I have a little bit of a headache and last night (Saturday night) I said "For christ sake stop it... Stop bitching at each other.

Tania has gained about 20 kilos back in the last year and I have been trying to get her to get off her backside and get out with me this whole time. I am a little afraid that she is using her ankle as an excuse because she doesn't want to get up at all when we are at home either and I don't want my friend going back to her size she was before... but I need to say it in a nice way.. how do I do that?

We went out line fishing last night and ended up catching some fish and a sting ray and I took a photo of it. Soooo coool.

I met Lyn and she is JUST FABULOUS what a darling she is and I felt really comfortable talking to her. She is so easy to talk to and so nice. I hope that we meet again that is for sure. I also took a photo and I will attach it when I get back off holiday.

I think I have been good with food while we have been away. I have had a hollow easter egg though he he he and totally enjoyed it for the diet starts on Monday he he

We have booked the camp ground again for next year for Easter so I get to meet Lyn again next year he he he.

Thinking about seeing if there are any spaces for January next year too and get out with the kids... but we shall see.

It has been nice coming out with another family and I do adore Tania and her family and we have been playing cards and games too and it has been an experience.

Anyway better go back and cook dinner now and catch up on my book he he he for tomorrow we go home.

Miss reading your blogs and I will update properly when I get back. Love ya all.

I will attach photos when I get back too.

Love ya
Chubbymum

A lot of thought

UPDATE:

Went to my physio this afternoon... I wish this man would make up his mind. I told him how my calf muscle with those exercises weren't helping and that my back is still sore... he seems to think I haven't pulled my calf muscle and that maybe I have slipped a disk in my back and it is pinching a nerve that is why my right leg is sore OMG wish he would work out the problem and sort it out GEESH.... so he has told me no bike riding!! No cross trainer and no rower!!... I can go on the water bike (with arms only) and I can go on the treadmill but I have a certain way I have to stand OMG I am going to feel like a freak!!!

He said I have to be really careful and I have to have a lumber bar put behind my back and every two hours I have stretches to do where I am on my front and I have to sort of do press ups (x 10) with my upper body aparently it stretches my back or something???

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First: THANK YOU Tracy, Janene, Anne, Janene and Rachel for you comments in yesterdays post... I really appreciated them. I have been doing so much thinking that I guess I just didn't know what thing was right for me anymore and was getting really confused.

I just know that I don't want to give up this journey ya know?? I don't want to give up and go back to where I was before. I am tired of hobbling around 121 and 122 and it was frustrating me.

I really sat down last night after reading Katiepies blog and started thinking about why I am doing this to myself. I started trying to work out why I lost 1.5 last week when I don't usually lose that amount in a week and I think I have figured it out. I have been trying so hard to lose 1.2 this week that I have fallen on the wayside because of two things:

1. Exercise: Well this is obvious because I haven't been able to do any... and that can't be helped with my back being involved as well as my calf and hamstring. I could go to Aqua but even the driving is painful at the moment with my back.

2. The week I lost the 1.5 I wasn't thinking about my food.. I was tracking but I was eating when I really felt hungry and I wasn't obsessing about what I was going to have for my next meal. And I think when I read Kates post it made me realise that I was doing some form of intuitive eating (IE as she calls it) and it worked for me as I didn't stress about what I was eating. It was more relaxed.

Now I am not saying that I am totally going to do IE and that is it but I do feel like I have to keep my form of IE going and see how it works.

I do believe in Weight Watchers and it has gotten me to 33.8 kilos lost so it isn't all that bad but I was getting frustrated as I had been on it long enough now that I am getting bored... but as the old saying goes anything you put your mind to will loose you weight but only if you want to loose it and stick to it. It is the sticking to it that gets people down. I can't believe that WW doesn't work!!! and to hear that makes me want to say "NO you don't want it to work or it would work as it is a sensible plan".

I know it isn't working for me but that isn't because of WW it is because of me. So I am going to tweak it for me.

I have to put in this that I read today about IE:

The "Pee" Analogy

Here's an analogy that helps to convey how weird and unnatural dieting really is.

The process of feeling hungry, experiencing a body-wisdom-based desire for a certain type of food, eating the food, stopping when satisfied, and then going off to do something else and not giving it another thought is "normal eating". This is completely analogous to what occurs when you have to pee. You sense your body's need, you go to the bathroom and relieve yourself, and then go back to what you were doing without giving it another thought. In both cases, you read a physical signal, meet the physical need, and give it no more thought. That's normal .

Now imagine what a strange world it would be if we were told that peeing had to be done on a schedule - we should pee 4 times a day, and it should be at 4 hour intervals and we should only pee one cup at a time. If we need to pee in between times, we should hold it. If we want to pee more than one cup, we should hold that for the next time. Sound bizarre? That's basically what a diet is.

It really makes sense doesn't it!!

Apart from Easter as I know camping with the three families I am not going to be 100% good but I am going to watch my thoughts and hunger pangs on what I think I need and don't need this weekend and I am going to do this for the next month and see how I go.

I was feeling distressed because it has made me aware that I rely so much on my exercise to counteract my food and it should be the other way around or even... if ya know what I mean.

I hate so much that I think about food that much and it was getting me so angry yesterday. I have to start thinking more about what is going to make me happy in the long run and not what will make me happy in the short term.

Thanks Tracy... I am going to take your advice and position myself away from the naughty food at the camp and have some good choices sitting in front of me... Planning really is a obsession with me and I have to stop it and just go with the flow.

Thanks Janene... I have got two of Geneen Roth's books but didn't get her very first one grrr and she is sosooooooo easy to read isn't she and makes so much sense. I must admit I haven't finished either of the books... just read the first couple of chapters and then got lazy and got sick of reading about food and thoughts etc he he he. I think maybe you are right with the all or nothing theory with me and OMG that is soooo frustrating isn't it??? he he he

Anne...Thank you! You are adorable you know that!! Such a caring lovely person. I hope that your Easter weekend is a good one too.

Leighanne.... girl you have a lot on your plate at the moment and don't you give up either aye... we will get there in the end.. I do know that he he he.

Rachel... thanks for the email and I might try not counting the exercise points for a while and see how that goes. I know that sometimes with all the exercise I do do that I need to have the extra food... just need to think about how much sometimes.

Have my water next to me today... gulping that when I get to the stage I want to say arghhhhhh no exercise. But there is light at the end of the tunnel (I finally see it today) and I have a pt with Joy tomorrow morning and we are going to work out a way to get exercise back without causing too much pain.

I was a silly bitch last night that I had had enough of sitting around that I said to hubby I wanted to go for a walk and it was good while doing it and we chatted and went for about 40 minutes but then came back and watched tv and then trying to get up was OMG painful as my muscles weren't happy with me... so I have to watch the walking business for a while GRRRRRRR.

Anyway better get some work done he he

Chubbymum