I have been confused on which plan to stick with in the last week. I have been reading Helena's bible, Step diet, Downsize me, and been thinking about Weight Watchers. OMG what is wrong with me that I can't find something that suits me. I have to stick to one and keep to it. I am missing WW but only missing the leaders and not the meeting or paying for it. I am not wanting to pay for it anymore when I know the rules but I am not keeping to it.
Why am I not keeping to it? Why have I lost my mojo? Why can't I keep to anything and do it? Am I the only person that switches so much? Do I stress too much like Lyn says? I suppose I do. Sometimes I just want a plan of the day of what I have to eat and what I have to do and that is it but then I want to rebel when I have a day where I have to do and eat from a list.
Went to my PT session with Joy today and OMG it was great and I did full sit ups 30 of them Wow I used to find it really hard to sit fully up with sit ups but I was doing ok with it today. She also made me do butt lifts too BITCH he he he but it was great to get it over and done with.
Ok so my food has been errational today as I felt sooo hungry when I got back from my PT so exucse the crap today.
Food today:
Breakfast: Fejoia Cereal 30 grams, Milk
Morning tea: Left over steak in the fridge (see told ya I was eating weird)
Lunch: 2 small bread rolls with chicken and salad, V
Dinner: Not sure yet
Why do I go through this? I am trying to understand how I think and why for the first half of the year I was doing so well and then what changed for me to suck at this?
I am not giving up and in the last couple of years I haven't but to stop losing is really getting to my head. While I was at my PT today I was getting sore arms because I was thinking of Kris's head while punching the punching bag and it made me feel great.
I want a challenge and exercise challenge so I was talking to Joy about it today because I am not with Lean I don't have any challenges and so I am not wanting to exercise etc because my team has disbanded over the last 6 months (Lean) because Kris joined I stopped going and about 6 of them don't go anymore either. Joy started a kickboxing class at the church up the hill from me and I was going to do that until Kris said she was doing it GEESH... am I stopping myself from going and losing out yes maybe I am but then I don't want have to deal with her shit anymore either ya know.
I am going to ask Debbie if she wants to go on Wednesday nights to Joys kickboxing and stuff Kris and if she gets pissed off that I am doing it with Debbie then too bad as well. I have to do something now for me and I do like Joy's kickboxing classes.
This coming week I am going to do the following exercises:
Monday: Kickboxing
Tuesday: Walk with hubby
Wednesday: Joys Kickboxing
Thursday: Go out for a walk while kids are at school
Friday: PT with Joy
Saturday: Go for a walk
Sunday: Go to the gym with hubby
I am going to up my steps too and if the weather is good at work next week at lunch time then I am going to go for a walk during the week as well.
I know what I am doing I mean for christ sake I have been doing it for 2 years... I can do this aye!! I can lose this weight I have to find something that boils my blood to make me stick to it. I don't have a goal and as those of you know that have read my blog for a while I find it really hard to find a goal that makes me go for it.
I think losing 200 grams a week for me at the moment would be a goal because then I won't feel the pressure and if I lose more then that will be bonus.
So I need constant reminders my friends to keep with this!!! To eat right and exercise and stop shovelling crap in my face. My hubby thinks I am not eating enough and that is why I am gaining but I am not sure... I get lost with the WW points in regards to exercise and whether to take them all or not. I used to do so much exercise that I couldn't eat all the exercise points.
We are taking the boys to Rock'n Roll classes tonight. Corbin had a chance to check it out at school on Thursday and they gave us a pamplet and said come along so we are going to take them tonight and see how they go. I hope there are a lot of kids their ages there and we can have some fun it should be great. I do worry about Quinn a little because he can be a cheeky monkey but when there are crowds and people he doesn't know he goes all silly and doesn't listen etc and goes shy it is soooo silly.
He he he Rachel it is such a pity you live such a way away because our sons sound like they like the same thing he he he and also the seminar (or talk not sure what they call it) was put on by Parents Inc the couple up the top of the website are the ones that do the seminar. The guy is absolutly fantastic and funny but his wife is not as funny but she knows what she is talking about. Also they do the parenting magazine and I find it really informative and I have a subscription to it because they go up to teenagers in it and not like the Little treasures magazine where it is only for babies.
So I will come back on and update and tell you how the boys went with Rock'n Roll. I want to take my camera but a little scared it is overdoing it for their first time he he he but if we go back next week then I will take it.
Anyway goodnight for now
CM
UPDATE:
Took the boys to the Rock'n Roll for kids and I swear there was about 30 kids in this little hall and there was about 15 at the start for the beginners but my two boys were the newest that started tonight so the guy was helping them heaps and they did sooooo well. Quinn is the youngest there being 5 years old and he did well too. I thought they would be shy and not do it but they got up and started and Corbin took to it like you wouldn't believe.
There was a girl there from his school and she said she had seen him at school but he couldn't remember her. Well they partnered up while he was learning and at half time Corbin was tired and had enough and she came and asked him to dance and he said No thank you OMG when the girl went I said to him "it is very rude to say no to someone that had the guts to come and ask you to dance Corbin and it was a nice thing she did"
I said to him how would he feel if he went and asked a girl and they said no" he then realised he did the wrong thing but he still didn't want to dance. I think next week he will go and ask her... she was quite cute too he he he and for her to ask him to dance she must have thought he was good he he he what a proud mummy I am.
They both want to go back next week and I am sure they will do well. I was talking to hubby and we might go on a Tuesday night to the adult lessons woohoooo some different exercise for me and for hubby and I to do something together this is going to be sooo much fun.
Thanks for listening to me today guys it is much appreciated.
Love ya all
CM
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Friday, 8 June 2007
Friday, 20 April 2007
Last day of School holidays
Woooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooo
Last day of school holidays today. I do LOVE my children so much but I also like having my days off so that I can achieve things I need to achieve and I also hate with a passion stopping them fight grrrr.
Got up this morning and didn't want to get out of bed but I knew I had to go to my PT with Joy this morning at her place (as she no longer works at the gym anymore).
So I got up and had an English Muffin and then decided I had time to spare so I would walk to her house for my PT session. It took me 15 minutes to walk there and it was SUCH a beautiful morning it was nice to get out and just think about things without being interrupted.
I got there and she said OH I am glad you are ready because we are going for a walk ARGGHHHHHH I like walking but her speed is like running he he he. I said to her I would be walking but I also want to be careful of my back if I am too tense when walking then there go my muscles and I pull my back out again so she sort of slowed it down.
So we went for a half an hour walk (so that adds to 45 minutes with the walk there) and then went back to her gym at her place and we did punch bag punching with gloves and then we concentrated on my upper body with pressups and then on the bench with weights doing chest pull things in three different ways... OMG sore chest sore upper arms and when she tried to up my weights it hurt my back so she put them down.
It was GREAT!!!! I enjoyed it more than going to the gym and doing it with her!! It was one on one and there were no interruptions (which was usually Kris) and there weren't any people there asking her questions while it was on my time.
She doesn't have any cardio machines but I didn't care!! I said to her I felt happier because it seemed like we got more done and I felt more relaxed because I wasn't worried if my shirt was right or if I was looking like a dork.
Now I didn't think I ever thought I did but after going to her place for the PT now I realise that I am self conscious about whether my top is down hiding my tummy or not... Wow... isn't it funny how your self conscious works.
I walked home and when I got home I got a phone call from Tania saying that we have to come up with a blurb for our two business for the pamplets about the Wedding Expo... so I am going to talk to hubby tonight to see what we can come up with for my part.
Tania also said "what are you doing in June" OMG I said "as long as it doesn't cost me money!!" he he he and she said "well sort of" grrrrr she wants me to train with her to do the TeAwamutu 8km walk. I said I would do it but with my back I am not over doing it because my physio said 3 to six months and I have only been ok in the last week and that is just ok... so I have another target to head for.
So I said to her are you working this afternoon and she said no and I said lets go to the lake and walk around it (it is 4km) and she said "but I have the kids" and I said "I have the kids too" she said they wouldn't walk around it (now her kids are older than mine by about a year). I said the reason your kids wouldn't do it is because you keep saying that they wouldn't... if you didn't be so negative they would.
Quinn and Corbin have been going around the lake walking for 2 years now and they started when they were almost 4 and almost 6 so she cannot tell me a 7 and two 9 year olds cannot walk around it... that was just an excuse.. and I told her that. So she said yes...
YES YOU GUESSED IT she called back in an hour and said she couldn't make it as she couldn't squeeze in the time OMG first practice run and chickens out GEE WHIZ. I just left it at that because if she doesn't want to try I cannot push her.
She lost 35 kilos before going down to Hokitika and she has gained it all back since coming back.. she said she has only gained a little but OMG even hubby said she is fooling herself because she is looking bigger than when we met her. This is the lady we went to the Easter camping with... I DO LOVE her dearly but I just want her to stop using excuses but I cannot do anything about that and I have to support her.
I am glad in a way that we are doing this walk because at least she is thinking about it and she wants to do it... so we are getting somewhere I suppose.
Wow... I think I was getting a bit angry this year because I hadn't done that many challenges and now I have a mixture of business and exercise challenges.
I now have the Wedding Expo and the Te Awamutu 8km walk. That is a great start don't ya reckon.
Tonight is my business meeting with Hubby he he he we need to set some goals and tasks so I don't feel overwelmed because at the moment I don't know where to start.
I have been a little bit laxed on my food this week and I am quite angry with myself. I have three days of being good so that I can get some more weight off this week and I HAVE TO STAY FOCUSSED, I HAVE TO!!
The boys start their soccer practice next week and then the soccer games next Saturday OMG it has started again boohooooo.... I am not managing the teams this year because it is too much with two teams and trying to go to their games are going to be interesting enough he he.
Food Today:
Breakfast: 1 English Muffin, Chicken Bacon
Lunch: Corned beef sandwich, V
Dinner: Chicken, Macaroni, Beans, Tomato
Water: 2 litres
Exercise: 1 hour PT with Joy and 30 minute walking
Last day of school holidays today. I do LOVE my children so much but I also like having my days off so that I can achieve things I need to achieve and I also hate with a passion stopping them fight grrrr.
Got up this morning and didn't want to get out of bed but I knew I had to go to my PT with Joy this morning at her place (as she no longer works at the gym anymore).
So I got up and had an English Muffin and then decided I had time to spare so I would walk to her house for my PT session. It took me 15 minutes to walk there and it was SUCH a beautiful morning it was nice to get out and just think about things without being interrupted.
I got there and she said OH I am glad you are ready because we are going for a walk ARGGHHHHHH I like walking but her speed is like running he he he. I said to her I would be walking but I also want to be careful of my back if I am too tense when walking then there go my muscles and I pull my back out again so she sort of slowed it down.
So we went for a half an hour walk (so that adds to 45 minutes with the walk there) and then went back to her gym at her place and we did punch bag punching with gloves and then we concentrated on my upper body with pressups and then on the bench with weights doing chest pull things in three different ways... OMG sore chest sore upper arms and when she tried to up my weights it hurt my back so she put them down.
It was GREAT!!!! I enjoyed it more than going to the gym and doing it with her!! It was one on one and there were no interruptions (which was usually Kris) and there weren't any people there asking her questions while it was on my time.
She doesn't have any cardio machines but I didn't care!! I said to her I felt happier because it seemed like we got more done and I felt more relaxed because I wasn't worried if my shirt was right or if I was looking like a dork.
Now I didn't think I ever thought I did but after going to her place for the PT now I realise that I am self conscious about whether my top is down hiding my tummy or not... Wow... isn't it funny how your self conscious works.
I walked home and when I got home I got a phone call from Tania saying that we have to come up with a blurb for our two business for the pamplets about the Wedding Expo... so I am going to talk to hubby tonight to see what we can come up with for my part.
Tania also said "what are you doing in June" OMG I said "as long as it doesn't cost me money!!" he he he and she said "well sort of" grrrrr she wants me to train with her to do the TeAwamutu 8km walk. I said I would do it but with my back I am not over doing it because my physio said 3 to six months and I have only been ok in the last week and that is just ok... so I have another target to head for.
So I said to her are you working this afternoon and she said no and I said lets go to the lake and walk around it (it is 4km) and she said "but I have the kids" and I said "I have the kids too" she said they wouldn't walk around it (now her kids are older than mine by about a year). I said the reason your kids wouldn't do it is because you keep saying that they wouldn't... if you didn't be so negative they would.
Quinn and Corbin have been going around the lake walking for 2 years now and they started when they were almost 4 and almost 6 so she cannot tell me a 7 and two 9 year olds cannot walk around it... that was just an excuse.. and I told her that. So she said yes...
YES YOU GUESSED IT she called back in an hour and said she couldn't make it as she couldn't squeeze in the time OMG first practice run and chickens out GEE WHIZ. I just left it at that because if she doesn't want to try I cannot push her.
She lost 35 kilos before going down to Hokitika and she has gained it all back since coming back.. she said she has only gained a little but OMG even hubby said she is fooling herself because she is looking bigger than when we met her. This is the lady we went to the Easter camping with... I DO LOVE her dearly but I just want her to stop using excuses but I cannot do anything about that and I have to support her.
I am glad in a way that we are doing this walk because at least she is thinking about it and she wants to do it... so we are getting somewhere I suppose.
Wow... I think I was getting a bit angry this year because I hadn't done that many challenges and now I have a mixture of business and exercise challenges.
I now have the Wedding Expo and the Te Awamutu 8km walk. That is a great start don't ya reckon.
Tonight is my business meeting with Hubby he he he we need to set some goals and tasks so I don't feel overwelmed because at the moment I don't know where to start.
I have been a little bit laxed on my food this week and I am quite angry with myself. I have three days of being good so that I can get some more weight off this week and I HAVE TO STAY FOCUSSED, I HAVE TO!!
The boys start their soccer practice next week and then the soccer games next Saturday OMG it has started again boohooooo.... I am not managing the teams this year because it is too much with two teams and trying to go to their games are going to be interesting enough he he.
Food Today:
Breakfast: 1 English Muffin, Chicken Bacon
Lunch: Corned beef sandwich, V
Dinner: Chicken, Macaroni, Beans, Tomato
Water: 2 litres
Exercise: 1 hour PT with Joy and 30 minute walking
Friday, 13 April 2007
Movies
Got up at 8.30am as I was still feeling ikky with the painkillers and I think it drys me out too as I had a splitting headache but I got up and went to the gym by 9am to meet with Joy.
I wasn't allowed to do a lot by what the physio said but hey I wanted to get some exercise. (P.S I know that I could go and do swimming or aqua or something and would love to but even putting undies on is hard and have to have hubby to help so going swimming would be harder getting the togs on and off without pulling a muscle... as it is the bending that is getting me).
Anyway so I went to my PT and Joy had me on the treadmill but I think I wasn't warmed up enough for it as it was hurting a little. So she got me on the water bike with my arms for 10 minutes and that was good as I didn't feel like it was hurting and when she was chatting to me at the same time I sort of forgot that I was sore it was wonderful. After that we went and did some weights with my legs and that was fantastic as I could use my legs without it hurting my back and my calf muscle was a little tight but we stretched them and things were on a roll.
I didn't feel like I was sweating like I usually do but at least I was doing something.
It was Joy's last day at the gym (but she wasn't telling them until 5pm that she wasn't coming back) so she was pretty nervous about it all but she was also excited as she has been getting her garage all set up with gym stuff. I am looking forward to it but then scared too because I know the gym so well and feel comfortable there.
Came home got a shower ready for hubby to come home at 12 so that we could all go out for lunch and then the movies for school holidays.
We went to have lunch in town.. I had chicken kebab, the boys had subway and hubby had chinese... I reckon I chose wisely and it was yummy too.
The movie we went to see was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and it was ok but Quinn was being a right little nightmare and couldn't keep still. I have totally different children... Corbin is easy going and can sit and watch a movie or read a book and generally keep still where as Quinn has like HUGE termites in his pants and cannot keep still longer than 5 minutes and he drives me insane with that... he has to constantly have someone playing with him or talking to him and it drives me insane because you could play with him all day and he still won't let you have 5 minutes peace.
The movie was good but I wouldn't take Quinn again as it went over his head.
While we were out mum cooked a nice roast beef meal for us and we had that while she was at bingo.... it was a nice night when the boys went to bed as hubby and I read books and basically just chilled. I have so many books and magazines that I need to catch up with that it was nice just to chill.
I think I am back on track again???? I really do want to lose this weight but with not exercising I just haven't been able to get my head around how I do it and still enjoy my food...
Food today:
Breakfast: 2 Sandwich Bread toasted, Jam
Lunch: Chicken Kebab and Falafel, V
Dinner: Roast Beef, Kumera, Carrot, Pumpkin, Peas
I wasn't allowed to do a lot by what the physio said but hey I wanted to get some exercise. (P.S I know that I could go and do swimming or aqua or something and would love to but even putting undies on is hard and have to have hubby to help so going swimming would be harder getting the togs on and off without pulling a muscle... as it is the bending that is getting me).
Anyway so I went to my PT and Joy had me on the treadmill but I think I wasn't warmed up enough for it as it was hurting a little. So she got me on the water bike with my arms for 10 minutes and that was good as I didn't feel like it was hurting and when she was chatting to me at the same time I sort of forgot that I was sore it was wonderful. After that we went and did some weights with my legs and that was fantastic as I could use my legs without it hurting my back and my calf muscle was a little tight but we stretched them and things were on a roll.
I didn't feel like I was sweating like I usually do but at least I was doing something.
It was Joy's last day at the gym (but she wasn't telling them until 5pm that she wasn't coming back) so she was pretty nervous about it all but she was also excited as she has been getting her garage all set up with gym stuff. I am looking forward to it but then scared too because I know the gym so well and feel comfortable there.
Came home got a shower ready for hubby to come home at 12 so that we could all go out for lunch and then the movies for school holidays.
We went to have lunch in town.. I had chicken kebab, the boys had subway and hubby had chinese... I reckon I chose wisely and it was yummy too.
The movie we went to see was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and it was ok but Quinn was being a right little nightmare and couldn't keep still. I have totally different children... Corbin is easy going and can sit and watch a movie or read a book and generally keep still where as Quinn has like HUGE termites in his pants and cannot keep still longer than 5 minutes and he drives me insane with that... he has to constantly have someone playing with him or talking to him and it drives me insane because you could play with him all day and he still won't let you have 5 minutes peace.
The movie was good but I wouldn't take Quinn again as it went over his head.
While we were out mum cooked a nice roast beef meal for us and we had that while she was at bingo.... it was a nice night when the boys went to bed as hubby and I read books and basically just chilled. I have so many books and magazines that I need to catch up with that it was nice just to chill.
I think I am back on track again???? I really do want to lose this weight but with not exercising I just haven't been able to get my head around how I do it and still enjoy my food...
Food today:
Breakfast: 2 Sandwich Bread toasted, Jam
Lunch: Chicken Kebab and Falafel, V
Dinner: Roast Beef, Kumera, Carrot, Pumpkin, Peas
Thursday, 12 April 2007
Headache day!!!
Woke up with such a headache this morning.... hubby thinks it is the pain killers that doctor gave me. I felt better with my back a little this morning so all the poking and prodding on my back from physio last night did something I suppose... it feels like I have a bruise on my side of my butt though he he he.
Been good with food today... not been overly wonderful but been good.
They have a holiday program at the gym today so I booked the boys in for the 2 hours and they have soooo much fun making friends etc and I have two hours to have to myself. So I took mum shopping and I brought the NZ Wedding Magazine so I can look at it and work out what sort of ad I want to put in for Papaya Invites.
I also went looking in the book stores for Helena's bible but they didn't sell them..... it looks like I will have to revert to buying it online... (which I hate because you always pay more ho hum).
Took the wine bottle to work to Carol who got me to make it for her daughters 21'st and I am kicking myself because I didn't take a photo of it.... but I got there and the others saw it and now I have to do one for a 30th one for a 75th and the lady that I am doing the wedding invites for wants me to do some for the tables at the wedding he he he so I got so many orders from it... and I had one from last week for her hubby for his business too (something about winning something hmmm not too sure yet).
I think this business is going to take off!! At least I hope it will.
Next thing I have to do is organise the website and then put an ad in the New Zealand Bridal Magazine.... thanks Lyn.
Got the kids and got them subway and I went and got sushi hmmmm sushi for lunch.
Had to take Corbin to the doctor today as he had an infection on his knee and it has gotten infected (Janene I think it like the boil you have and I have had) So he got antibiotics and while we were waiting in the waiting room a man about 80 years old came up to me and said "you have a well mannered son you should be proud" Wow... tingles came all over me what a nice thing to say... he said that the kids that just left were rude to their mum and needed a quick swift smack. I said Thank you my son is a really good boy and Corbin blushed.
The weather has turned to crap this afternoon... this morning it was beautiful and the sun was shining but this afternoon it has gotten really dark and rainy so the boys asked to have a DVD and we got Ant Bully and it is soooo good and the boys just love it. I brought some other DVDs too for the grown ups he he he... I like murder mysteries so I got some for tonight and also Blackadder (2) because we have Blackadder (1) and I would like to see more... Rowen atkinson is a darling isn't he.
Feeling more positive today... got my first PT in three weeks with Joy tomorrow and it is going to be interesting to see what she does with me... I can't do the cross trainer, bike or rower GRRRRRRRRRRRR so we shall see how she can get me back in to shape aye.
I miss Joy but she still keeps in contact and has been texting me to see how things are going so that is great.
My rings on my fingers are getting too big for me now.. I am a little scared to wear my wedding rings because it feels like I am losing weight in my fingers... nowhere else though he hehe but my fingers go figure.
I looked at the scales this morning and I am down wohoooooo. On Tuesday night I was disgusted with myself because even though I couldn't get to WW I could weigh at home and it said 124.4 OMG I was screaming with anger (take off 800 grams and it is the WW scales weight) so that is 123.6 GRRRR which means I had gained 2.7 kilos grrrr I hate that I can't do exercise... but this morning I weighed myself and I was 122.1 (WW 121.3 so that is only a gain of 400 grams... so I have to work my backside off this week to make sure I get to the teens...
So if I am going to get to 119.7 (WW scales) I have to be 120.5 (at home) so 1.6 kilos has to come off this week!!! I am going to achieve this!!! I am making sure that my meals are smaller than normal because of not doing the exercise so it has to happen!!
I know all these figures but it will keep me focussed. I have to get this weight off!! I am not giving up just beeen in a slump over the fact I can't do the exercise I usually do.
I cannot wait to get the Leenie Bible from the library because it will get me more focussed!!!
Anyway good night everyone... I am SOOOOOOOOOO loving the comments and people that care about me... I do appreciate it
I don't know if you have noticed but I have a 10 week challenge on my side bar.
I am going to do a 10 week challenge to lose 500 grams a week for 10 weeks and get to 115.7 kilos.
I am tired of not getting there!!! So this is going to keep me focussed.
My prize at the end is a WHOLE NEW OUTFIT.... As I NEED clothes
Love Chubbymum
Food today:
Breakfast: Homemade Banana pancakes (3 small)
Lunch: Sushi and Coffee Frappe (made with water and no cream on top)
Dinner: Chicken, carrots, peas, salad
Water: 2 bottles so far
Been good with food today... not been overly wonderful but been good.
They have a holiday program at the gym today so I booked the boys in for the 2 hours and they have soooo much fun making friends etc and I have two hours to have to myself. So I took mum shopping and I brought the NZ Wedding Magazine so I can look at it and work out what sort of ad I want to put in for Papaya Invites.
I also went looking in the book stores for Helena's bible but they didn't sell them..... it looks like I will have to revert to buying it online... (which I hate because you always pay more ho hum).
Took the wine bottle to work to Carol who got me to make it for her daughters 21'st and I am kicking myself because I didn't take a photo of it.... but I got there and the others saw it and now I have to do one for a 30th one for a 75th and the lady that I am doing the wedding invites for wants me to do some for the tables at the wedding he he he so I got so many orders from it... and I had one from last week for her hubby for his business too (something about winning something hmmm not too sure yet).
I think this business is going to take off!! At least I hope it will.
Next thing I have to do is organise the website and then put an ad in the New Zealand Bridal Magazine.... thanks Lyn.
Got the kids and got them subway and I went and got sushi hmmmm sushi for lunch.
Had to take Corbin to the doctor today as he had an infection on his knee and it has gotten infected (Janene I think it like the boil you have and I have had) So he got antibiotics and while we were waiting in the waiting room a man about 80 years old came up to me and said "you have a well mannered son you should be proud" Wow... tingles came all over me what a nice thing to say... he said that the kids that just left were rude to their mum and needed a quick swift smack. I said Thank you my son is a really good boy and Corbin blushed.
The weather has turned to crap this afternoon... this morning it was beautiful and the sun was shining but this afternoon it has gotten really dark and rainy so the boys asked to have a DVD and we got Ant Bully and it is soooo good and the boys just love it. I brought some other DVDs too for the grown ups he he he... I like murder mysteries so I got some for tonight and also Blackadder (2) because we have Blackadder (1) and I would like to see more... Rowen atkinson is a darling isn't he.
Feeling more positive today... got my first PT in three weeks with Joy tomorrow and it is going to be interesting to see what she does with me... I can't do the cross trainer, bike or rower GRRRRRRRRRRRR so we shall see how she can get me back in to shape aye.
I miss Joy but she still keeps in contact and has been texting me to see how things are going so that is great.
My rings on my fingers are getting too big for me now.. I am a little scared to wear my wedding rings because it feels like I am losing weight in my fingers... nowhere else though he hehe but my fingers go figure.
I looked at the scales this morning and I am down wohoooooo. On Tuesday night I was disgusted with myself because even though I couldn't get to WW I could weigh at home and it said 124.4 OMG I was screaming with anger (take off 800 grams and it is the WW scales weight) so that is 123.6 GRRRR which means I had gained 2.7 kilos grrrr I hate that I can't do exercise... but this morning I weighed myself and I was 122.1 (WW 121.3 so that is only a gain of 400 grams... so I have to work my backside off this week to make sure I get to the teens...
So if I am going to get to 119.7 (WW scales) I have to be 120.5 (at home) so 1.6 kilos has to come off this week!!! I am going to achieve this!!! I am making sure that my meals are smaller than normal because of not doing the exercise so it has to happen!!
I know all these figures but it will keep me focussed. I have to get this weight off!! I am not giving up just beeen in a slump over the fact I can't do the exercise I usually do.
I cannot wait to get the Leenie Bible from the library because it will get me more focussed!!!
Anyway good night everyone... I am SOOOOOOOOOO loving the comments and people that care about me... I do appreciate it
I don't know if you have noticed but I have a 10 week challenge on my side bar.
I am going to do a 10 week challenge to lose 500 grams a week for 10 weeks and get to 115.7 kilos.
I am tired of not getting there!!! So this is going to keep me focussed.
My prize at the end is a WHOLE NEW OUTFIT.... As I NEED clothes
Love Chubbymum
Food today:
Breakfast: Homemade Banana pancakes (3 small)
Lunch: Sushi and Coffee Frappe (made with water and no cream on top)
Dinner: Chicken, carrots, peas, salad
Water: 2 bottles so far
Wednesday, 11 April 2007
Lovely Lyn
I forgot to put the beautiful photo
of Lovely Lyn up yesterday!!!
What was wrong with me GEESH...
My coffee with Lyn was great and here we are...
both of us making sure that Tania took the photo
from the right spot upwards he he he what a laugh.
Went to the physio tonight and he is convinced it is my back for sure and not the calf and hamstring being the main culprit. Hubby got off work early and took me because driving home today I felt like I was going to fall asleep at the wheel... GEESH. Why are physio's sooooo painful OMG hubby said that he had his elbow into my back I was in so much pain and he just kept going it was horrible. But I feel a little better since though so that is great.
Saw Joy afterwards and she said that there has been so many people coming up to her asking why they haven't seen me around the gym in the last couple of weeks and also a couple of people asking why the lovely couple weren't at the kickboxing classes anymore he he he so we were missed.
Joy is finishing this Friday at the gym and the guy doesn't know it... she is on contract till then and has started setting up a gym in her garage and is going to do personal training from home and starting the Lean group over there as well. So our night time Lean is going to start soon afterwards OMG I cannot wait because I need it!! I need to get back in to a group and a new group will be good for me. Daniel isn't going to leave the gym and go with her to her business so I am soooo happy with that because I enjoy just Joy as the trainer.
I have tried today to be good with my food and have decided to put my food down at the bottom like Sue and Leenie are doing and maybe it will keep me on track. I haven't eaten too much today but that is because these tablets are making me feel quite sick to the stomach so food isn't on my mind at all.
I have been thinking about the books that Leenie has been reading (her bible as she calls it) and I put a reservation on one of them at the Library so I can't wait till I get that. I have been also been raiding the internet about the author as well to find out more information.
I have also added something new to my Papaya business as I was asked to do a wine label for a 21st for a lady at work's daughter and she loved the designs I did and showed others at work and now I have 4 orders OMG that was the easiest way to make a little bit of money ever he he he so I am going to put them as part of Papapya too... it was sooo much fun.
Food today:
Breakfast: Weetbix and milk
Lunch: Ham and Egg sandwich
Dinner: Fish (on George Forman) Salad
Snack: Plums
Water: 2 Bottles
Wednesday, 4 April 2007
A lot of thought
UPDATE:
Went to my physio this afternoon... I wish this man would make up his mind. I told him how my calf muscle with those exercises weren't helping and that my back is still sore... he seems to think I haven't pulled my calf muscle and that maybe I have slipped a disk in my back and it is pinching a nerve that is why my right leg is sore OMG wish he would work out the problem and sort it out GEESH.... so he has told me no bike riding!! No cross trainer and no rower!!... I can go on the water bike (with arms only) and I can go on the treadmill but I have a certain way I have to stand OMG I am going to feel like a freak!!!
He said I have to be really careful and I have to have a lumber bar put behind my back and every two hours I have stretches to do where I am on my front and I have to sort of do press ups (x 10) with my upper body aparently it stretches my back or something???
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
First: THANK YOU Tracy, Janene, Anne, Janene and Rachel for you comments in yesterdays post... I really appreciated them. I have been doing so much thinking that I guess I just didn't know what thing was right for me anymore and was getting really confused.
I just know that I don't want to give up this journey ya know?? I don't want to give up and go back to where I was before. I am tired of hobbling around 121 and 122 and it was frustrating me.
I really sat down last night after reading Katiepies blog and started thinking about why I am doing this to myself. I started trying to work out why I lost 1.5 last week when I don't usually lose that amount in a week and I think I have figured it out. I have been trying so hard to lose 1.2 this week that I have fallen on the wayside because of two things:
1. Exercise: Well this is obvious because I haven't been able to do any... and that can't be helped with my back being involved as well as my calf and hamstring. I could go to Aqua but even the driving is painful at the moment with my back.
2. The week I lost the 1.5 I wasn't thinking about my food.. I was tracking but I was eating when I really felt hungry and I wasn't obsessing about what I was going to have for my next meal. And I think when I read Kates post it made me realise that I was doing some form of intuitive eating (IE as she calls it) and it worked for me as I didn't stress about what I was eating. It was more relaxed.
Now I am not saying that I am totally going to do IE and that is it but I do feel like I have to keep my form of IE going and see how it works.
I do believe in Weight Watchers and it has gotten me to 33.8 kilos lost so it isn't all that bad but I was getting frustrated as I had been on it long enough now that I am getting bored... but as the old saying goes anything you put your mind to will loose you weight but only if you want to loose it and stick to it. It is the sticking to it that gets people down. I can't believe that WW doesn't work!!! and to hear that makes me want to say "NO you don't want it to work or it would work as it is a sensible plan".
I know it isn't working for me but that isn't because of WW it is because of me. So I am going to tweak it for me.
I have to put in this that I read today about IE:
The "Pee" Analogy
Here's an analogy that helps to convey how weird and unnatural dieting really is.
The process of feeling hungry, experiencing a body-wisdom-based desire for a certain type of food, eating the food, stopping when satisfied, and then going off to do something else and not giving it another thought is "normal eating". This is completely analogous to what occurs when you have to pee. You sense your body's need, you go to the bathroom and relieve yourself, and then go back to what you were doing without giving it another thought. In both cases, you read a physical signal, meet the physical need, and give it no more thought. That's normal .
Now imagine what a strange world it would be if we were told that peeing had to be done on a schedule - we should pee 4 times a day, and it should be at 4 hour intervals and we should only pee one cup at a time. If we need to pee in between times, we should hold it. If we want to pee more than one cup, we should hold that for the next time. Sound bizarre? That's basically what a diet is.
It really makes sense doesn't it!!
Apart from Easter as I know camping with the three families I am not going to be 100% good but I am going to watch my thoughts and hunger pangs on what I think I need and don't need this weekend and I am going to do this for the next month and see how I go.
I was feeling distressed because it has made me aware that I rely so much on my exercise to counteract my food and it should be the other way around or even... if ya know what I mean.
I hate so much that I think about food that much and it was getting me so angry yesterday. I have to start thinking more about what is going to make me happy in the long run and not what will make me happy in the short term.
Thanks Tracy... I am going to take your advice and position myself away from the naughty food at the camp and have some good choices sitting in front of me... Planning really is a obsession with me and I have to stop it and just go with the flow.
Thanks Janene... I have got two of Geneen Roth's books but didn't get her very first one grrr and she is sosooooooo easy to read isn't she and makes so much sense. I must admit I haven't finished either of the books... just read the first couple of chapters and then got lazy and got sick of reading about food and thoughts etc he he he. I think maybe you are right with the all or nothing theory with me and OMG that is soooo frustrating isn't it??? he he he
Anne...Thank you! You are adorable you know that!! Such a caring lovely person. I hope that your Easter weekend is a good one too.
Leighanne.... girl you have a lot on your plate at the moment and don't you give up either aye... we will get there in the end.. I do know that he he he.
Rachel... thanks for the email and I might try not counting the exercise points for a while and see how that goes. I know that sometimes with all the exercise I do do that I need to have the extra food... just need to think about how much sometimes.
Have my water next to me today... gulping that when I get to the stage I want to say arghhhhhh no exercise. But there is light at the end of the tunnel (I finally see it today) and I have a pt with Joy tomorrow morning and we are going to work out a way to get exercise back without causing too much pain.
I was a silly bitch last night that I had had enough of sitting around that I said to hubby I wanted to go for a walk and it was good while doing it and we chatted and went for about 40 minutes but then came back and watched tv and then trying to get up was OMG painful as my muscles weren't happy with me... so I have to watch the walking business for a while GRRRRRRR.
Anyway better get some work done he he
Chubbymum
Went to my physio this afternoon... I wish this man would make up his mind. I told him how my calf muscle with those exercises weren't helping and that my back is still sore... he seems to think I haven't pulled my calf muscle and that maybe I have slipped a disk in my back and it is pinching a nerve that is why my right leg is sore OMG wish he would work out the problem and sort it out GEESH.... so he has told me no bike riding!! No cross trainer and no rower!!... I can go on the water bike (with arms only) and I can go on the treadmill but I have a certain way I have to stand OMG I am going to feel like a freak!!!
He said I have to be really careful and I have to have a lumber bar put behind my back and every two hours I have stretches to do where I am on my front and I have to sort of do press ups (x 10) with my upper body aparently it stretches my back or something???
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
First: THANK YOU Tracy, Janene, Anne, Janene and Rachel for you comments in yesterdays post... I really appreciated them. I have been doing so much thinking that I guess I just didn't know what thing was right for me anymore and was getting really confused.
I just know that I don't want to give up this journey ya know?? I don't want to give up and go back to where I was before. I am tired of hobbling around 121 and 122 and it was frustrating me.
I really sat down last night after reading Katiepies blog and started thinking about why I am doing this to myself. I started trying to work out why I lost 1.5 last week when I don't usually lose that amount in a week and I think I have figured it out. I have been trying so hard to lose 1.2 this week that I have fallen on the wayside because of two things:
1. Exercise: Well this is obvious because I haven't been able to do any... and that can't be helped with my back being involved as well as my calf and hamstring. I could go to Aqua but even the driving is painful at the moment with my back.
2. The week I lost the 1.5 I wasn't thinking about my food.. I was tracking but I was eating when I really felt hungry and I wasn't obsessing about what I was going to have for my next meal. And I think when I read Kates post it made me realise that I was doing some form of intuitive eating (IE as she calls it) and it worked for me as I didn't stress about what I was eating. It was more relaxed.
Now I am not saying that I am totally going to do IE and that is it but I do feel like I have to keep my form of IE going and see how it works.
I do believe in Weight Watchers and it has gotten me to 33.8 kilos lost so it isn't all that bad but I was getting frustrated as I had been on it long enough now that I am getting bored... but as the old saying goes anything you put your mind to will loose you weight but only if you want to loose it and stick to it. It is the sticking to it that gets people down. I can't believe that WW doesn't work!!! and to hear that makes me want to say "NO you don't want it to work or it would work as it is a sensible plan".
I know it isn't working for me but that isn't because of WW it is because of me. So I am going to tweak it for me.
I have to put in this that I read today about IE:
The "Pee" Analogy
Here's an analogy that helps to convey how weird and unnatural dieting really is.
The process of feeling hungry, experiencing a body-wisdom-based desire for a certain type of food, eating the food, stopping when satisfied, and then going off to do something else and not giving it another thought is "normal eating". This is completely analogous to what occurs when you have to pee. You sense your body's need, you go to the bathroom and relieve yourself, and then go back to what you were doing without giving it another thought. In both cases, you read a physical signal, meet the physical need, and give it no more thought. That's normal .
Now imagine what a strange world it would be if we were told that peeing had to be done on a schedule - we should pee 4 times a day, and it should be at 4 hour intervals and we should only pee one cup at a time. If we need to pee in between times, we should hold it. If we want to pee more than one cup, we should hold that for the next time. Sound bizarre? That's basically what a diet is.
It really makes sense doesn't it!!
Apart from Easter as I know camping with the three families I am not going to be 100% good but I am going to watch my thoughts and hunger pangs on what I think I need and don't need this weekend and I am going to do this for the next month and see how I go.
I was feeling distressed because it has made me aware that I rely so much on my exercise to counteract my food and it should be the other way around or even... if ya know what I mean.
I hate so much that I think about food that much and it was getting me so angry yesterday. I have to start thinking more about what is going to make me happy in the long run and not what will make me happy in the short term.
Thanks Tracy... I am going to take your advice and position myself away from the naughty food at the camp and have some good choices sitting in front of me... Planning really is a obsession with me and I have to stop it and just go with the flow.
Thanks Janene... I have got two of Geneen Roth's books but didn't get her very first one grrr and she is sosooooooo easy to read isn't she and makes so much sense. I must admit I haven't finished either of the books... just read the first couple of chapters and then got lazy and got sick of reading about food and thoughts etc he he he. I think maybe you are right with the all or nothing theory with me and OMG that is soooo frustrating isn't it??? he he he
Anne...Thank you! You are adorable you know that!! Such a caring lovely person. I hope that your Easter weekend is a good one too.
Leighanne.... girl you have a lot on your plate at the moment and don't you give up either aye... we will get there in the end.. I do know that he he he.
Rachel... thanks for the email and I might try not counting the exercise points for a while and see how that goes. I know that sometimes with all the exercise I do do that I need to have the extra food... just need to think about how much sometimes.
Have my water next to me today... gulping that when I get to the stage I want to say arghhhhhh no exercise. But there is light at the end of the tunnel (I finally see it today) and I have a pt with Joy tomorrow morning and we are going to work out a way to get exercise back without causing too much pain.
I was a silly bitch last night that I had had enough of sitting around that I said to hubby I wanted to go for a walk and it was good while doing it and we chatted and went for about 40 minutes but then came back and watched tv and then trying to get up was OMG painful as my muscles weren't happy with me... so I have to watch the walking business for a while GRRRRRRR.
Anyway better get some work done he he
Chubbymum
Monday, 2 April 2007
At home
Stayed home today... having major pain with my leg and it is just about driving me insane.. taking voltaren and panadol and it works for a little but if I move I am in trouble. Taking the boys to school today was OMG painful to say the least...
I don't want to be moany!!!
I don't want to be unhappy!!!
I had 1.2 kilos to lose this week to get to my 35 and I have FUCKED it up!!!
I haven't been bad with my food but I haven't had the exercise to be able to keep my weight down....
I am missing my exercise and I am getting angrier and upset and I don't know what to do with myself. I was thinking about going back to Lean this week (as Kris said she has given up the gym for 3 months) so thought I might get back into the swing of things and then this happens...
OHHHH Lyn how the hell did you and do you do it!! How come you don't get angry at not doing exercise!
I had a really nice salad for lunch today. It was with roast pork (cooked in water in the oven) and OMG the salad was DEVINE!!!
I just texted Joy and said I was going insane and I missed my PT on Friday and I will miss my PT this Friday can she fit me in and see what she can do to help me as I don't think I can cope anymore.
So 7am Thursday I am ON!! I am going to rest this leg and do my exercises for the physio and going to get back with it.
How is everyone? Hope you found your way back to me here at Bloggerland???
Love ya
Chubbymum
I don't want to be moany!!!
I don't want to be unhappy!!!
I had 1.2 kilos to lose this week to get to my 35 and I have FUCKED it up!!!
I haven't been bad with my food but I haven't had the exercise to be able to keep my weight down....
I am missing my exercise and I am getting angrier and upset and I don't know what to do with myself. I was thinking about going back to Lean this week (as Kris said she has given up the gym for 3 months) so thought I might get back into the swing of things and then this happens...
OHHHH Lyn how the hell did you and do you do it!! How come you don't get angry at not doing exercise!
I had a really nice salad for lunch today. It was with roast pork (cooked in water in the oven) and OMG the salad was DEVINE!!!
I just texted Joy and said I was going insane and I missed my PT on Friday and I will miss my PT this Friday can she fit me in and see what she can do to help me as I don't think I can cope anymore.
So 7am Thursday I am ON!! I am going to rest this leg and do my exercises for the physio and going to get back with it.
How is everyone? Hope you found your way back to me here at Bloggerland???
Love ya
Chubbymum
Friday, 30 March 2007
Physio appointment today
I don't know if I had told anyone about pulling my back on Sunday... well I was in sooo much pain yesterday and today that I made an appointment with the physio this morning because the pain was going down my lower back to my back of my thigh and a major pain in my calf muscle and I couldn't take the pain anymore and I told Joy I wouldn't be at my PT this morning (and if you all know me I wouldn't give up my PT for nothing NOTHING at all). She told me that I needed to get to a physio and stop worrying about money and just got.... Bloody expensieve people if it isn't covered by ACC. The physio said it was covered by ACC Wohooo bloody woohoooo. I am not really that stingggyy really I am not. I just want to be better by next week when we go camping.
I phoned up and made an appointment and got one at 10.40 and before that I went to visit Tania at her shop and we sat and talked and it was nice... I got a bit upset because I can't sit without being in pain and also driving is painful. It was nice to catch up with Tania and have a good chat. She gave me a hug and said she was sorry for giving me hell about K. I said to her I understand why she goes at me about K and I understand that I need to keep away from her but I am not a fool... I have stopped replying to her texts and I say hello at school this week and I am happy with that.
I would never be upset with Tania... she can be a bit straight forward sometimes but I know it is with good intentions. I said to her if I was truly pissed off with her I promise I would tell her to F**K off he he and she laughed.
So anyway I have exercises to do to stretch my muscles and have to go back to him on Wednesday night... OMG I hope I can last till then and I hope the stretches help too. He said to take some pain killers to help things... I said I can take panadol but not Voltaren because of my ulcer grrrr... I hope that panadol works.
My mum is at bingo today and I must say it is nice having the house to myself and doing things for me. I was going to go and have a bath but was too scared I wouldn't have been able to get back out he he.
I am still being really good with my food but with not being able to do exercise I am not sure if I am going to make it to my 35 kilos before Easter. I will be so so so pissed off that is for sure.
I am glad to be back on blogger. I did like Vox but I am more at home on Blogger and I can put my stuff down the sides. I have to update with peoples blogs on the side bar but will get to that. If you read and want your blog on the side please tell me.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
I phoned up and made an appointment and got one at 10.40 and before that I went to visit Tania at her shop and we sat and talked and it was nice... I got a bit upset because I can't sit without being in pain and also driving is painful. It was nice to catch up with Tania and have a good chat. She gave me a hug and said she was sorry for giving me hell about K. I said to her I understand why she goes at me about K and I understand that I need to keep away from her but I am not a fool... I have stopped replying to her texts and I say hello at school this week and I am happy with that.
I would never be upset with Tania... she can be a bit straight forward sometimes but I know it is with good intentions. I said to her if I was truly pissed off with her I promise I would tell her to F**K off he he and she laughed.
So anyway I have exercises to do to stretch my muscles and have to go back to him on Wednesday night... OMG I hope I can last till then and I hope the stretches help too. He said to take some pain killers to help things... I said I can take panadol but not Voltaren because of my ulcer grrrr... I hope that panadol works.
My mum is at bingo today and I must say it is nice having the house to myself and doing things for me. I was going to go and have a bath but was too scared I wouldn't have been able to get back out he he.
I am still being really good with my food but with not being able to do exercise I am not sure if I am going to make it to my 35 kilos before Easter. I will be so so so pissed off that is for sure.
I am glad to be back on blogger. I did like Vox but I am more at home on Blogger and I can put my stuff down the sides. I have to update with peoples blogs on the side bar but will get to that. If you read and want your blog on the side please tell me.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
Thursday, 29 March 2007
Weekend going's on
Feb 4, 2007 at 12:25 PM
Saturday and Sunday
Got up all energised this morning (Sunday).... I have been reading two books at the moment:
Awaken the Giant within by Anthony Robbins
and
Live the life you love and stop just getting by.. by Barbara Sher
What great authors they are. Barbara Sher made me realise with a couple of activities she made me do that I get all fired up with Revenge (there are other catagories like Shaming, scolding, lecturing, competition, fear, affirmations, pain driven, spirituality, guilt, praying, dares, positive thinking, getting lots of praise, help from buddies)... now I know that Revenge doesn't sound good but I get more focused on the job at hand if I want to tell or show someone that they are wrong and I just want to say nah nah nah nah nah see I can do it you silly person and I want to piss you off.
I did it in 2005 when I first started trying to lose weight and my friend Tania told me that I couldn't lose 20 kilos in a year and I went out to prove her wrong and I did it in 10 months. Revenge in the sense that I wanted to prove her wrong and to show her I could do just as well as she had.
Excerpt from Barbara's Book: "A cousin of competition, and a funny one at that, is "Revenge" A friend of mine described it this way "All I have to do to succeed at something is imagine how happy my enemies would be if I failed. That makes me nuts, I can't stand it! And then I think of how they'd hate it if I succeeded and I just smile inside and get going!"
Well I am out to prove to Kris that just because our friendship has ended.. that I am not going to let her get the better of me that my life still goes on and even though she tried to sabotage my trainer I wasn't going to let her sabotage my life anymore. I was going to do this despite her!!
I made sure that I went to the gym today and get on with my training FOR ME. I am not going to stop going on Sunday's because of her anymore, and she was there today. I am not going to go to Lean for a little while longer as I still have that anger and I don't want it to effect other people in my Lean group as that isn't fair, but I am going back to Lean and I will be fired up.
So I went today (Sunday) with hubby and OMG it fired me up that she was there (I wasn't sure if she was going to be there or not) but I went on the rower and did 1500 metres in 8 minutes OMG OMG OMG it used to take me 11 minutes to do that so I was on fire. I ran on the treadmill too (as Kris has never seen me do that either). I know that it sounds bitchy but I think I have found the key to getting to motivating me to stop just aiming at what I have always done and to up the anty a little.
In Today's routine
Saturday and Sunday
Got up all energised this morning (Sunday).... I have been reading two books at the moment:
Awaken the Giant within by Anthony Robbins
and
Live the life you love and stop just getting by.. by Barbara Sher
What great authors they are. Barbara Sher made me realise with a couple of activities she made me do that I get all fired up with Revenge (there are other catagories like Shaming, scolding, lecturing, competition, fear, affirmations, pain driven, spirituality, guilt, praying, dares, positive thinking, getting lots of praise, help from buddies)... now I know that Revenge doesn't sound good but I get more focused on the job at hand if I want to tell or show someone that they are wrong and I just want to say nah nah nah nah nah see I can do it you silly person and I want to piss you off.
I did it in 2005 when I first started trying to lose weight and my friend Tania told me that I couldn't lose 20 kilos in a year and I went out to prove her wrong and I did it in 10 months. Revenge in the sense that I wanted to prove her wrong and to show her I could do just as well as she had.
Excerpt from Barbara's Book: "A cousin of competition, and a funny one at that, is "Revenge" A friend of mine described it this way "All I have to do to succeed at something is imagine how happy my enemies would be if I failed. That makes me nuts, I can't stand it! And then I think of how they'd hate it if I succeeded and I just smile inside and get going!"
Well I am out to prove to Kris that just because our friendship has ended.. that I am not going to let her get the better of me that my life still goes on and even though she tried to sabotage my trainer I wasn't going to let her sabotage my life anymore. I was going to do this despite her!!
I made sure that I went to the gym today and get on with my training FOR ME. I am not going to stop going on Sunday's because of her anymore, and she was there today. I am not going to go to Lean for a little while longer as I still have that anger and I don't want it to effect other people in my Lean group as that isn't fair, but I am going back to Lean and I will be fired up.
So I went today (Sunday) with hubby and OMG it fired me up that she was there (I wasn't sure if she was going to be there or not) but I went on the rower and did 1500 metres in 8 minutes OMG OMG OMG it used to take me 11 minutes to do that so I was on fire. I ran on the treadmill too (as Kris has never seen me do that either). I know that it sounds bitchy but I think I have found the key to getting to motivating me to stop just aiming at what I have always done and to up the anty a little.
In Today's routine
- 1500 mtrs on Rower
- Water bike for the arms (10 minutes)
- Treadmill and walked/ran for 10 minutes
- Weights for those bingo wings of mine
- Kickboxing with hubby with arms and legs
- Crunches 20 x 3
- Side Crunches 20 x 3
Was really happy with the achievement at the gym today I up'd my anti and it made me feel good that I got up and didn't just stay in bed and veg.
We went outside after lunch today to get all the dead leaves etc out of our garden until it started raining.. Can you believe it is Summer as sometimes I feel like we are in spring etc with the changes in weather like this.
We made corn frittas for lunch and they were so so so yummy. It was nice for a change as sometimes lunches can get so boring when you have the same thing all the time.
The boys are watching Scooby Doo at the moment because the weather is so bad outside.. they did go on their bikes for most of the morning but now they are just veging.... which is fine by me as long as they aren't inside all day... it is a pet peeve of mine.
Anyway going to go back to reading my books woohooo.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
P.S I am feeling a little upset about tomorrow being my first day with the new bosses.... scares me a little really. I don't want things to change but fear that it is going to happen and I have no choice. My tummy has got bloody birds (not butterflies) moving around in there ho hum.
Comments
fortysumthing wrote:
Feb 4, 2007 at 3:10 PM
Well done. And I say whatever gets you motivated. Enjoy the rest of the day.
PS: The secret is out.
Chris H wrote:
Feb 4, 2007 at 4:37 PM
Ya for upping the anti, that is exactly what I did last week and it works, so good for you. I hope you have a fantastic week, I'm going to!
M wrote:
Feb 5, 2007 at 1:04 AM
Unleash The Power Within is also such a powerful book. And by the sounds of things you are starting to look inwards and doing things FOR you instead of AGAINST someone else. It's a good thing :)
Have a great week and keep up that excellent training.
Lee wrote:
Feb 5, 2007 at 11:07 AM
Those books sound great!!!!
Good luck with work...you will do fine
Monday, 26 March 2007
Ups and downs
Mar 26, 2007 at 12:53 PM
My week has has so many ups and downs...
So be aware that this might end up a long post. I haven't posted since last Monday... OMG didn't realise it has been that long.
I must admit I didn't want to post and now there has been so much happening it is like a nightmare trying to get it all down. I have to write it for myself because if not I won't know what happened in a year etc.
Tuesday
Weigh in day... I so so so didn't want to go in because I knew that I hadn't been good!! And it was all my problem and my fault that is for sure.
So I went there and I weighed and I gained 1.3 OMG I have NEVER NEVER gained that much since I started. The most I have gained is about 400 grams and I am usually happy with that.
I wasn't totally upset because I knew why I had gained and it was my fault but I felt so so bad because I have been yoyoing again.. and I HATE THAT!!!! I want to get this weight off.
OMG when am I going to get it in to my thick head that I have to do this.
I am now 122.5 kilos and have lost 32.2 kilos OMG what an idiot I am.
Wednesday
Went to work feeling ok and thinking well this is my start to a new week and got to 10.30 then had a phone call from my mum all upset and crying and I couldn't understand a word of what she was saying but then after calming her down I found out that my uncle had died in his sleep. So I rang my boss in Auckland and she said "you go, family comes first and I will put it down as bereavement leave" and she also did the remainder of my work for me... OMG I do like my new boss she has been so understanding and easy to talk to.
So that afternoon was basically talking to my mum and to other family members sorting things out.
Thursday
Today was an ok day... not too sure how I was feeling. I had a text message from a friend that lives in Melbourne asking if I wanted some compnany? I said yes when would she be coming to New Zealand.. she said I am here now OMG GEESH couldn't she have given me more warning he he he. So anyway she came over and we walked to school to get the kids in the afternoon. It was great to catch up. I was her bridesmaid about 2 years ago and she is now pregnant and due in June... she looks fantastic. We are going out for dinner with her and her hubby on tomorrow night too (Tuesday as I am writing this on Monday he he)
Friday
Friday consisted of going to the gym and working out with Joy and listening to all the crap happening at the gym and thinking OMG I should just get out of here because it is like Days of our Lives.. and I just want to go and have a great work out and now I have dramas galore at the gym with having Kris there at the same time and then what is happening to the trainers... to tell you the truth I have had enough!!
The funeral was today and as you can imagine my mum was not very good today so the day was spent trying to keep her mind in a better place.
Saturday
Got up early on Saturday as I was nervous about meeting ChrisH... I am always nervous about meeting people.. always wondering what they would think of me and that I probably look bigger in person than I do online. It was a great morning tea... we talked and talked and it didn't feel strained at all. She is such a great person to meet and she makes you feel like you have known her for years. She got to meet my boys as well... but they didn't stay they went shopping and to the library.
So this is when things on Saturday turned to SHIT.... at 5pm got a phone call from Kris!!! OOOPs forgot to say I got a text from her at 7.30am Saturday morning telling me she was in respite care as she tried to kill herself last night (her youngest's birthday too). I didn't know what to say. I was feeling quite angry at her because how could she do this on her son's birthday.. he is only 3 and he should have had a great day with kids his own age and having a major party going on... not having this drama happening in his house.
She tried to cut her wrists. I used to feel sorry for the woman but now I just feel she is a selfish bitch... she said she needed someone to talk to and would I come up to respite.... but because I am a fool I said Ok... but I was not emotional on the phone I was really short with her.
All the way in the car I kept saying to myself.. ok she is in this place because of depression but I can't let her get away with this and I have to say exactly what I was thinking because I am not helping her or myself if I get in to this crap.
So I got there and said
"Ok so what the hell is going on"
she looked at me and said
"I tried killing myself again and I deserve not to be here'
I said to her "If you truly wanted to kill yourself Kris you would have so really you don't want to and you just want the attention again and to be quite honest I am not putting up with it and I made a promise to myself that I am not putting up with the attention seeking again... this is the last time I will come and see you like this"
She looked at me and said "I did a stupid thing.."
"YOU THINK!!!"
She said "I slept with Daniel"
YOU COULD HAVE KNOCKED ME OVER WITH A FEATHER
I said "Your trainer Daniel?" she said yes..
I said "you better not be lieing again Kris because you caused crap for me and if you are doing this to hurt Daniel then you are low"
She said "NO I am not lieing"
I am not too sure if I believe her because this man is a hunk!!! and well... hmmmm Kris is average.
So we had a talk and I couldn't believe how bossy I was and telling her what I thought and she took it all in and she has made some changes. For one not having Daniel as a trainer... and trying to sort things out with hubby as she told him and said that she would go to counselling and was not going to pull attention seeking things ever again.
I don't know how long that will last but OMG all this crap over going to bed with Daniel!!!
All I could think was DANIEL you are a hypocrate... he gave me hell saying that I was saying nasty things on my blog (when you guys know back then I didn't because I was only saying he wasn't the trainer for me and that was it) and that it was going to ruin his reputation if it got out but he goes and sleeps with a woman that is 12 years older than him and she has a hubby and 3 kids... and he has a georgeous girlfriend... now you tell me how is that not being a hypercrate.
So my lovely morning turned to crap really... I should have stayed with ChrisH till going to bed he he he then I wouldn't have had all this.
She even had Joy (my trainer) over there and telling her. Which by the way has Daniel as part of her team of trainers OMG...
I still can't believe it.. I mean EWWWWW.
ChrisH I know I know I know I know... I know what you are going to say... I shouldn't have gone!!! she isn't worth it and you told me so... I know I know but when a friend gets put in respite or hospital and calls me... I just can't say no... it isn't in my nature. I am glad that I wasn't a wuss and let her make me feel sorry for her though because I didn't do that.
Sunday
Went to the gym this morning and worked my little butt off and did treadmill, cross trainer, bike, weights, kickboxing with pads and hubby and then sit ups and when I got up after the sit ups my back hurt me like buggery. I think while doing the kicking to the pads it was too high and I hurt my back grrrr so when I got home I had to lay down with a wheat pack.
Until that is I got a phone call about a wedding invite I am doing so I got ready for that and it was great we sorted out some things and I think she is really pleased with the one I thought would be great for her.
After that Delwyn (from my old Lean group) came over and we had such a heart to heart talk and I was feeling that the girls wouldn't want me back in my old lean after Kris was there telling them things (when she first got there) but she said that people are always asking how I am going and that it was in my head what I thought they thought and that they know not to believe Kris.
I am thinking about going back. I am still not 100% yet but I do miss it and I think I have improved since having the 4 months break. I might consider going back after Easter.
I spent the rest of the afternoon knitting scarfs he he he so that I could sit still because my back was just killing me. But quite please with the scarf that I am almost finished and can't wait to start another one.. he he he I sound like an old lady knitting but it is working for me in the fact that I don't want to nibble while doing it so hey if it works.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
So that was my week... highs and lows.
I am sick of saying this but I am going to work my butt off this week and make next week a week to remember with my weight loss. I don't want to stop!! I want to keep going and I want to get under the 100 kilos by the end of the year and I know I can do it, I just have to focus.
Was thinking about getting a challenge group together or something... something small so that it doesn't get out of hand but some sort of challenge WHAT DO YOU THINK? Any ideas would be fantastic as I just don't have a clue what it could be at the moment.
Anyway Love ya all
Sorry I did ramble on again didn't I!! he he he
OH Welcome my new blogger friends. ChrisH after putting my photo etc up on your blog I have had lots of people going to my old blog and emailing me from there. I appreciate it!! I need to get back to reading other peoples blogs and having comments from others here too... I need that motivation again and maybe this is the way to get me going huh.
Also... Lynise and Lee-Anne... I have got your emails but haven't had a chance to reply and I WILL I PROMISE... maybe tonight. I am so so so so sorry for the delay. I am not ignoring you ok!! just haven't had time to reply properly.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
Comments
Chris H wrote:
Mar 26, 2007 at 3:44 PM
SILENCE....... I am saying nothing about anything I could put my foot in my mouth over......I commend you for being there for your ???friend??? You yabbered on so much I don't know what to comment on ! Have a fantastic week, talk to you again soon I hope.
Tracy wrote:
Mar 26, 2007 at 5:49 PM
Well it has certainly been an interesting week hasn't it? I know we all keep telling you to keep away from Kris but I understand why you went, you would have felt worse if you hadn't. I do not know if she DID sleep with Daniel, I am sure she WANTED to & probably fantasised about it. Maybe he just could not resist the attention either. You know it is difficult to know if that woman is telling the truth - maybe you could ask him :-)
I hope you have a better week this week, without the dramas.
Celtic Girl wrote:
Mar 27, 2007 at 12:48 AM
I saw your photo on Chris's blog and you look great.
Now Kris, hahumm, has this woman got some form of Munchausen's Syndrome?
I know I don't "know" her and THE trainer, but really, do you really think he would have slept with her???? Is this another attempt to cause some trouble and try to shift some of the blame from her to Daniel.Is she trying worm her way into your sympathy.as you said correctly, if she wanted to do it ,she would have done it by now.Sorry if this sound callous but this woman is sick on so many levels.
Anne wrote:
Mar 27, 2007 at 10:51 AM
Kris really sounds as if she has huge problems. You are right though - a lot of what she is doing is for attention. Do feel for her husband and kids.
Sorry to hear about your gain - hope you can get your head around it and start afresh - Ãn fact I know you can!
fortysumthing wrote:
Mar 27, 2007 at 9:12 PM
Shit I could talk my head off on this post. I went through the suicide thing with my youngest son. Don't talk about it much. Too painful. In the end it all boiled down to getting attention and to him getting his own way. Through devious methods I got him to the doctor, who sent him for counselling. He's fine now. All I will say is that maybe now Kris will get the help she needs, which means .... it's no longer your problem. It's a selfish thing that she did. With time I hope she realises it. She is a very unhappy women and she needs help to sort herself out.
As for you, I hope you kicked butt and got back some of that gain you had last week. You're a survivor Mandy, you will always come out on top. Why, because you are happy and have a wonderful husband and family there to support you.
I noticed that the balloons over Hamilton is coming up. Might bring the kids over for the weekend and we can catch up. Whadda reckon.
Love ya heaps girl. Keeping smiling that beautiful smile.
My week has has so many ups and downs...
So be aware that this might end up a long post. I haven't posted since last Monday... OMG didn't realise it has been that long.
I must admit I didn't want to post and now there has been so much happening it is like a nightmare trying to get it all down. I have to write it for myself because if not I won't know what happened in a year etc.
Tuesday
Weigh in day... I so so so didn't want to go in because I knew that I hadn't been good!! And it was all my problem and my fault that is for sure.
So I went there and I weighed and I gained 1.3 OMG I have NEVER NEVER gained that much since I started. The most I have gained is about 400 grams and I am usually happy with that.
I wasn't totally upset because I knew why I had gained and it was my fault but I felt so so bad because I have been yoyoing again.. and I HATE THAT!!!! I want to get this weight off.
OMG when am I going to get it in to my thick head that I have to do this.
I am now 122.5 kilos and have lost 32.2 kilos OMG what an idiot I am.
Wednesday
Went to work feeling ok and thinking well this is my start to a new week and got to 10.30 then had a phone call from my mum all upset and crying and I couldn't understand a word of what she was saying but then after calming her down I found out that my uncle had died in his sleep. So I rang my boss in Auckland and she said "you go, family comes first and I will put it down as bereavement leave" and she also did the remainder of my work for me... OMG I do like my new boss she has been so understanding and easy to talk to.
So that afternoon was basically talking to my mum and to other family members sorting things out.
Thursday
Today was an ok day... not too sure how I was feeling. I had a text message from a friend that lives in Melbourne asking if I wanted some compnany? I said yes when would she be coming to New Zealand.. she said I am here now OMG GEESH couldn't she have given me more warning he he he. So anyway she came over and we walked to school to get the kids in the afternoon. It was great to catch up. I was her bridesmaid about 2 years ago and she is now pregnant and due in June... she looks fantastic. We are going out for dinner with her and her hubby on tomorrow night too (Tuesday as I am writing this on Monday he he)
Friday
Friday consisted of going to the gym and working out with Joy and listening to all the crap happening at the gym and thinking OMG I should just get out of here because it is like Days of our Lives.. and I just want to go and have a great work out and now I have dramas galore at the gym with having Kris there at the same time and then what is happening to the trainers... to tell you the truth I have had enough!!
The funeral was today and as you can imagine my mum was not very good today so the day was spent trying to keep her mind in a better place.
Saturday
Got up early on Saturday as I was nervous about meeting ChrisH... I am always nervous about meeting people.. always wondering what they would think of me and that I probably look bigger in person than I do online. It was a great morning tea... we talked and talked and it didn't feel strained at all. She is such a great person to meet and she makes you feel like you have known her for years. She got to meet my boys as well... but they didn't stay they went shopping and to the library.
So this is when things on Saturday turned to SHIT.... at 5pm got a phone call from Kris!!! OOOPs forgot to say I got a text from her at 7.30am Saturday morning telling me she was in respite care as she tried to kill herself last night (her youngest's birthday too). I didn't know what to say. I was feeling quite angry at her because how could she do this on her son's birthday.. he is only 3 and he should have had a great day with kids his own age and having a major party going on... not having this drama happening in his house.
She tried to cut her wrists. I used to feel sorry for the woman but now I just feel she is a selfish bitch... she said she needed someone to talk to and would I come up to respite.... but because I am a fool I said Ok... but I was not emotional on the phone I was really short with her.
All the way in the car I kept saying to myself.. ok she is in this place because of depression but I can't let her get away with this and I have to say exactly what I was thinking because I am not helping her or myself if I get in to this crap.
So I got there and said
"Ok so what the hell is going on"
she looked at me and said
"I tried killing myself again and I deserve not to be here'
I said to her "If you truly wanted to kill yourself Kris you would have so really you don't want to and you just want the attention again and to be quite honest I am not putting up with it and I made a promise to myself that I am not putting up with the attention seeking again... this is the last time I will come and see you like this"
She looked at me and said "I did a stupid thing.."
"YOU THINK!!!"
She said "I slept with Daniel"
YOU COULD HAVE KNOCKED ME OVER WITH A FEATHER
I said "Your trainer Daniel?" she said yes..
I said "you better not be lieing again Kris because you caused crap for me and if you are doing this to hurt Daniel then you are low"
She said "NO I am not lieing"
I am not too sure if I believe her because this man is a hunk!!! and well... hmmmm Kris is average.
So we had a talk and I couldn't believe how bossy I was and telling her what I thought and she took it all in and she has made some changes. For one not having Daniel as a trainer... and trying to sort things out with hubby as she told him and said that she would go to counselling and was not going to pull attention seeking things ever again.
I don't know how long that will last but OMG all this crap over going to bed with Daniel!!!
All I could think was DANIEL you are a hypocrate... he gave me hell saying that I was saying nasty things on my blog (when you guys know back then I didn't because I was only saying he wasn't the trainer for me and that was it) and that it was going to ruin his reputation if it got out but he goes and sleeps with a woman that is 12 years older than him and she has a hubby and 3 kids... and he has a georgeous girlfriend... now you tell me how is that not being a hypercrate.
So my lovely morning turned to crap really... I should have stayed with ChrisH till going to bed he he he then I wouldn't have had all this.
She even had Joy (my trainer) over there and telling her. Which by the way has Daniel as part of her team of trainers OMG...
I still can't believe it.. I mean EWWWWW.
ChrisH I know I know I know I know... I know what you are going to say... I shouldn't have gone!!! she isn't worth it and you told me so... I know I know but when a friend gets put in respite or hospital and calls me... I just can't say no... it isn't in my nature. I am glad that I wasn't a wuss and let her make me feel sorry for her though because I didn't do that.
Sunday
Went to the gym this morning and worked my little butt off and did treadmill, cross trainer, bike, weights, kickboxing with pads and hubby and then sit ups and when I got up after the sit ups my back hurt me like buggery. I think while doing the kicking to the pads it was too high and I hurt my back grrrr so when I got home I had to lay down with a wheat pack.
Until that is I got a phone call about a wedding invite I am doing so I got ready for that and it was great we sorted out some things and I think she is really pleased with the one I thought would be great for her.
After that Delwyn (from my old Lean group) came over and we had such a heart to heart talk and I was feeling that the girls wouldn't want me back in my old lean after Kris was there telling them things (when she first got there) but she said that people are always asking how I am going and that it was in my head what I thought they thought and that they know not to believe Kris.
I am thinking about going back. I am still not 100% yet but I do miss it and I think I have improved since having the 4 months break. I might consider going back after Easter.
I spent the rest of the afternoon knitting scarfs he he he so that I could sit still because my back was just killing me. But quite please with the scarf that I am almost finished and can't wait to start another one.. he he he I sound like an old lady knitting but it is working for me in the fact that I don't want to nibble while doing it so hey if it works.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
So that was my week... highs and lows.
I am sick of saying this but I am going to work my butt off this week and make next week a week to remember with my weight loss. I don't want to stop!! I want to keep going and I want to get under the 100 kilos by the end of the year and I know I can do it, I just have to focus.
Was thinking about getting a challenge group together or something... something small so that it doesn't get out of hand but some sort of challenge WHAT DO YOU THINK? Any ideas would be fantastic as I just don't have a clue what it could be at the moment.
Anyway Love ya all
Sorry I did ramble on again didn't I!! he he he
OH Welcome my new blogger friends. ChrisH after putting my photo etc up on your blog I have had lots of people going to my old blog and emailing me from there. I appreciate it!! I need to get back to reading other peoples blogs and having comments from others here too... I need that motivation again and maybe this is the way to get me going huh.
Also... Lynise and Lee-Anne... I have got your emails but haven't had a chance to reply and I WILL I PROMISE... maybe tonight. I am so so so so sorry for the delay. I am not ignoring you ok!! just haven't had time to reply properly.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
Comments
Chris H wrote:
Mar 26, 2007 at 3:44 PM
SILENCE....... I am saying nothing about anything I could put my foot in my mouth over......I commend you for being there for your ???friend??? You yabbered on so much I don't know what to comment on ! Have a fantastic week, talk to you again soon I hope.
Tracy wrote:
Mar 26, 2007 at 5:49 PM
Well it has certainly been an interesting week hasn't it? I know we all keep telling you to keep away from Kris but I understand why you went, you would have felt worse if you hadn't. I do not know if she DID sleep with Daniel, I am sure she WANTED to & probably fantasised about it. Maybe he just could not resist the attention either. You know it is difficult to know if that woman is telling the truth - maybe you could ask him :-)
I hope you have a better week this week, without the dramas.
Celtic Girl wrote:
Mar 27, 2007 at 12:48 AM
I saw your photo on Chris's blog and you look great.
Now Kris, hahumm, has this woman got some form of Munchausen's Syndrome?
I know I don't "know" her and THE trainer, but really, do you really think he would have slept with her???? Is this another attempt to cause some trouble and try to shift some of the blame from her to Daniel.Is she trying worm her way into your sympathy.as you said correctly, if she wanted to do it ,she would have done it by now.Sorry if this sound callous but this woman is sick on so many levels.
Anne wrote:
Mar 27, 2007 at 10:51 AM
Kris really sounds as if she has huge problems. You are right though - a lot of what she is doing is for attention. Do feel for her husband and kids.
Sorry to hear about your gain - hope you can get your head around it and start afresh - Ãn fact I know you can!
fortysumthing wrote:
Mar 27, 2007 at 9:12 PM
Shit I could talk my head off on this post. I went through the suicide thing with my youngest son. Don't talk about it much. Too painful. In the end it all boiled down to getting attention and to him getting his own way. Through devious methods I got him to the doctor, who sent him for counselling. He's fine now. All I will say is that maybe now Kris will get the help she needs, which means .... it's no longer your problem. It's a selfish thing that she did. With time I hope she realises it. She is a very unhappy women and she needs help to sort herself out.
As for you, I hope you kicked butt and got back some of that gain you had last week. You're a survivor Mandy, you will always come out on top. Why, because you are happy and have a wonderful husband and family there to support you.
I noticed that the balloons over Hamilton is coming up. Might bring the kids over for the weekend and we can catch up. Whadda reckon.
Love ya heaps girl. Keeping smiling that beautiful smile.
Friday, 9 March 2007
Keep writing
Mar 9, 2007 at 6:30 PM
I am trying to make an effort to write each day about what is happening because I do feel better when I let it all out.
I had an email from a lovely person yesterday that made me think! It was about Kris and she mentioned a couple of things and I have been thinking that in the last couple of weeks since the morning tea I have felt better about the situation and that I am happy with my decision not to get involved with her as a friend anymore. She also mentioned that maybe she thought I was afraid of her and I didn't think so when I read it but after some thought I have to agree I am scared of her. She turned my world upside down in a short period of time and if she had more access to my life and my feelings that she did then it could have been worse. It has changed my whole concept of trust!! I am not sure if I mean concept of trust or hmmmm... I am scared to trust people as much anymore for fear of it turning on me.
I am like that at the moment with Debbie.... and I know it frustrates her and I have explained the situation and another friend has to her as well... that I am taking it slow with friends because of the trust thing blowing up in my face with Kris... and I back off when I am feeling pressured... I quite often feel like Debbie pressures me in to doing something and I try and make an excuse to get out but the excuse has to be right with her and I have to explain why I am not going to do something or what I am doing instead and sometimes I just want to say NO because I don't want to do it. Why do I do it? I just want to say Oi back off you are being pushy but I don't... I just find excuse after excuse and end up backing out of the friendship.
Debbie and I are different... for one thing she is 8 years younger and is single and can do things by herself but I have a family and kids and a huge mortgage and I don't want to be doing half the things she does and to be quite honest I have done it and now I am on a different path in my life but I am not sure she gets that. I do like spending time with her but she isn't number one in my life my family is and I have explained this to her but I do still get the feeling that she thinks I am saying no because I don't like her etc which isn't really the case it is just I prioritise things differently from her because of my family.
I love spending time with my husband and my kids!!! I love just being and watching tv and knowing that I don't have to say anything to hubby and just be and it makes me happy. We are comfortable in each others pressence and I sometimes don't like it when people talk during shows on the tv etc because it just bugs me... and he knows that.
Wow I am rambling on tonight.
In a nutshell I like having Debbie as a friend but I have to find a way to balance it to let her know that it isn't that I don't like her but I don't want to spend every second day with her...
I haven't thought about it before and always thought I was an extrovert and sometimes I am around my friends but most of the time I prefer my own company and I like being in an office by myself... Maybe it is a Virgo thing?
Anyway....
I get my business cards on Tuesday (have I mentioned that before he he he) and I got my printer today WOOHOOOOO I got my printer today do a little dance, do a little dance. It is big and fast and does colour and black and white and when the kids are in bed tonight hubby and I are going to be doing some printing and I cannot wait.
Went to my PT session with Joy today and I did the following
15 minutes on the bike
15 minutes on the treadmill and every second minute running on the treadmill. I am feeling so much better than I did when I first started running and my knee has not been giving me trouble.
1500 metres on the rower
4 sets of 20 situps
4 sets of having a swiss ball between my legs and bringing my legs together so I use my thigh muscles OMG
4 sets 20 of rubber band on my ankles and doing leg raises and after that I felt the burn OMG on each leg
15 minutes on the cross trainer and every second minute she would put it up to level 5 for a minute then back down to level 1 OMG OMG my legs were so so so sore afterwards
But that is ok that she made me work hard because I over ate last night as we went out with our boys to a Mongolian Restaurant and I had to plates ARGHHHHH but it was yummy.
It was interesting talking to Joy today... she asked if I was still blogging and I said No straight out... I said No because I don't want any of them to know I am blogging and I certainly don't want Kris to know I am still blogging.
I said I do comment on peoples blogs because I love keeping in contact... she said "It is better that you don't have a blog and I am so happy that you don't anymore... look at the trouble that happened last time" I said "No it wasn't my blog that was the trouble it was Kris causing trouble that was the trouble and she just looked at me and said "yes I agree with that as well". She said you have improved since not blogging and I thought to myself a load of shit because I am still blogging and I am doing better now... I turned to her and said "I am doing better because I don't have Kris in my life anymore" and she said "yes I can see that too". It annoyed me because my blog is the best thing in my life... it gets things out and it makes me look at things and sort my life out. But that is ok because I now know that I don't tell anyone around me here about it and I need to be careful who I entrust with reading it but it is still for me and anyone that doesn't like what I write doesn't have to read anyway.
It was a good workout anyway but now I have to realise that I cannot talk about blogging and my life because it isn't worth the trouble when it is people at the gym and school... as long as I have my family and blogging then I am happy.
Got my printer today he he he did I mention it he he he
Went for my coffee with the school mums today (as it has been a fortnight woohoooo) it was good talking and the hour went so so so so fast but it was enjoyable. I am glad we started this.. there is 5 of us and we get on like a house on fire. We were talking about one of them's business that they are getting into as husband and wife and she is quitting her job and we talked about neighbours that are causing problems and about things other than kids once again it was marvellous... sat outside in the sunshine and had our coffee and frappes and I felt like the rich he he he not that I am by any means.
Anyway did I mention I got my new printer today he he he
Have a good night everyone
Comments
Lynise wrote:
Mar 9, 2007 at 6:54 PM
hi ya,
Hope everything smooths out with Debbie as good friends are such an added bonus in life and although you might not be at exactly the same place in your lives its great to come together with friends who care. One of my best friends is only 24 years old. I met her at my old work and dispite us being polar opposites we get along great and are able to have some great laughs together.
I guess alot of people may wonder what on earth we have in common as she is quite a bit younger then me, is from India, is Muslim, and is quite restricted in where her husband will allow her to go. (yes, you did read that right) but we get along great. I think friendship is about finding someone whose company you enjoy, and who you trust and respect. Each friendship will be unique as no other friendship will ever be the exact same mix. You definitely shouldn't have to make excuses as 'no I really don't feel like it' should be enough. (comes back the other person respecting your decisions.)
Hope your having a great day. Keep smiling.
PS: Just wondering when you are getting your printer, I havn't heard you mention it for a while. :-)
Celtic Girl wrote:
Mar 9, 2007 at 10:51 PM
Wanting to be alone is definately a Virgo thing, I'm the same. Your friend Debbie, really should realise your family is numero uno in you life.Also, congrats on getting your new printer!!
Chris H wrote:
Mar 9, 2007 at 10:51 PM
Yes woman, you did mention you got your new printer.... WOOO HOOO... OK? As for friends, and the boundaries, you have to set them where you are comfortable.... I understand this 110%. I only have a very few close friends, the ones I know I can trust 10% with anything I tell them. And they are the ones that I can say "Piss of now, I want some peace" to and they don't take offense! They are few and far between mate.... Don't let Debbie badger you into anything you don't want, be it spending time with you, confiding in, etc. You have the right to do whatever the hell you like, you are in control of your life. As for Joy, she sounds like a friggin know it all, who will say whatever she thinks you want to hear....strange person. I wouldn't trust her, she sounds suss to me. Shit, I shouldn't be so condemming of someone I have never met ...... nasty me. Have a bloody wonderful weekend girl!
pink-elephants wrote:
Mar 9, 2007 at 11:08 PM
hey there my friend I just wondered has your printer arrive yet hehehe
u sound so up its great
blow the trainer and blogs I THINK BLOGGING IS GOOD as u said it wasn;t the blog that was the problem.
You said I would be losing because of my exercise girl u run rings around me i wouldn't be able to keep up with u your doing fantastic keep it up kiddo
Hugs
I am trying to make an effort to write each day about what is happening because I do feel better when I let it all out.
I had an email from a lovely person yesterday that made me think! It was about Kris and she mentioned a couple of things and I have been thinking that in the last couple of weeks since the morning tea I have felt better about the situation and that I am happy with my decision not to get involved with her as a friend anymore. She also mentioned that maybe she thought I was afraid of her and I didn't think so when I read it but after some thought I have to agree I am scared of her. She turned my world upside down in a short period of time and if she had more access to my life and my feelings that she did then it could have been worse. It has changed my whole concept of trust!! I am not sure if I mean concept of trust or hmmmm... I am scared to trust people as much anymore for fear of it turning on me.
I am like that at the moment with Debbie.... and I know it frustrates her and I have explained the situation and another friend has to her as well... that I am taking it slow with friends because of the trust thing blowing up in my face with Kris... and I back off when I am feeling pressured... I quite often feel like Debbie pressures me in to doing something and I try and make an excuse to get out but the excuse has to be right with her and I have to explain why I am not going to do something or what I am doing instead and sometimes I just want to say NO because I don't want to do it. Why do I do it? I just want to say Oi back off you are being pushy but I don't... I just find excuse after excuse and end up backing out of the friendship.
Debbie and I are different... for one thing she is 8 years younger and is single and can do things by herself but I have a family and kids and a huge mortgage and I don't want to be doing half the things she does and to be quite honest I have done it and now I am on a different path in my life but I am not sure she gets that. I do like spending time with her but she isn't number one in my life my family is and I have explained this to her but I do still get the feeling that she thinks I am saying no because I don't like her etc which isn't really the case it is just I prioritise things differently from her because of my family.
I love spending time with my husband and my kids!!! I love just being and watching tv and knowing that I don't have to say anything to hubby and just be and it makes me happy. We are comfortable in each others pressence and I sometimes don't like it when people talk during shows on the tv etc because it just bugs me... and he knows that.
Wow I am rambling on tonight.
In a nutshell I like having Debbie as a friend but I have to find a way to balance it to let her know that it isn't that I don't like her but I don't want to spend every second day with her...
I haven't thought about it before and always thought I was an extrovert and sometimes I am around my friends but most of the time I prefer my own company and I like being in an office by myself... Maybe it is a Virgo thing?
Anyway....
I get my business cards on Tuesday (have I mentioned that before he he he) and I got my printer today WOOHOOOOO I got my printer today do a little dance, do a little dance. It is big and fast and does colour and black and white and when the kids are in bed tonight hubby and I are going to be doing some printing and I cannot wait.
Went to my PT session with Joy today and I did the following
15 minutes on the bike
15 minutes on the treadmill and every second minute running on the treadmill. I am feeling so much better than I did when I first started running and my knee has not been giving me trouble.
1500 metres on the rower
4 sets of 20 situps
4 sets of having a swiss ball between my legs and bringing my legs together so I use my thigh muscles OMG
4 sets 20 of rubber band on my ankles and doing leg raises and after that I felt the burn OMG on each leg
15 minutes on the cross trainer and every second minute she would put it up to level 5 for a minute then back down to level 1 OMG OMG my legs were so so so sore afterwards
But that is ok that she made me work hard because I over ate last night as we went out with our boys to a Mongolian Restaurant and I had to plates ARGHHHHH but it was yummy.
It was interesting talking to Joy today... she asked if I was still blogging and I said No straight out... I said No because I don't want any of them to know I am blogging and I certainly don't want Kris to know I am still blogging.
I said I do comment on peoples blogs because I love keeping in contact... she said "It is better that you don't have a blog and I am so happy that you don't anymore... look at the trouble that happened last time" I said "No it wasn't my blog that was the trouble it was Kris causing trouble that was the trouble and she just looked at me and said "yes I agree with that as well". She said you have improved since not blogging and I thought to myself a load of shit because I am still blogging and I am doing better now... I turned to her and said "I am doing better because I don't have Kris in my life anymore" and she said "yes I can see that too". It annoyed me because my blog is the best thing in my life... it gets things out and it makes me look at things and sort my life out. But that is ok because I now know that I don't tell anyone around me here about it and I need to be careful who I entrust with reading it but it is still for me and anyone that doesn't like what I write doesn't have to read anyway.
It was a good workout anyway but now I have to realise that I cannot talk about blogging and my life because it isn't worth the trouble when it is people at the gym and school... as long as I have my family and blogging then I am happy.
Got my printer today he he he did I mention it he he he
Went for my coffee with the school mums today (as it has been a fortnight woohoooo) it was good talking and the hour went so so so so fast but it was enjoyable. I am glad we started this.. there is 5 of us and we get on like a house on fire. We were talking about one of them's business that they are getting into as husband and wife and she is quitting her job and we talked about neighbours that are causing problems and about things other than kids once again it was marvellous... sat outside in the sunshine and had our coffee and frappes and I felt like the rich he he he not that I am by any means.
Anyway did I mention I got my new printer today he he he
Have a good night everyone
Comments
Lynise wrote:
Mar 9, 2007 at 6:54 PM
hi ya,
Hope everything smooths out with Debbie as good friends are such an added bonus in life and although you might not be at exactly the same place in your lives its great to come together with friends who care. One of my best friends is only 24 years old. I met her at my old work and dispite us being polar opposites we get along great and are able to have some great laughs together.
I guess alot of people may wonder what on earth we have in common as she is quite a bit younger then me, is from India, is Muslim, and is quite restricted in where her husband will allow her to go. (yes, you did read that right) but we get along great. I think friendship is about finding someone whose company you enjoy, and who you trust and respect. Each friendship will be unique as no other friendship will ever be the exact same mix. You definitely shouldn't have to make excuses as 'no I really don't feel like it' should be enough. (comes back the other person respecting your decisions.)
Hope your having a great day. Keep smiling.
PS: Just wondering when you are getting your printer, I havn't heard you mention it for a while. :-)
Celtic Girl wrote:
Mar 9, 2007 at 10:51 PM
Wanting to be alone is definately a Virgo thing, I'm the same. Your friend Debbie, really should realise your family is numero uno in you life.Also, congrats on getting your new printer!!
Chris H wrote:
Mar 9, 2007 at 10:51 PM
Yes woman, you did mention you got your new printer.... WOOO HOOO... OK? As for friends, and the boundaries, you have to set them where you are comfortable.... I understand this 110%. I only have a very few close friends, the ones I know I can trust 10% with anything I tell them. And they are the ones that I can say "Piss of now, I want some peace" to and they don't take offense! They are few and far between mate.... Don't let Debbie badger you into anything you don't want, be it spending time with you, confiding in, etc. You have the right to do whatever the hell you like, you are in control of your life. As for Joy, she sounds like a friggin know it all, who will say whatever she thinks you want to hear....strange person. I wouldn't trust her, she sounds suss to me. Shit, I shouldn't be so condemming of someone I have never met ...... nasty me. Have a bloody wonderful weekend girl!
pink-elephants wrote:
Mar 9, 2007 at 11:08 PM
hey there my friend I just wondered has your printer arrive yet hehehe
u sound so up its great
blow the trainer and blogs I THINK BLOGGING IS GOOD as u said it wasn;t the blog that was the problem.
You said I would be losing because of my exercise girl u run rings around me i wouldn't be able to keep up with u your doing fantastic keep it up kiddo
Hugs
Thursday, 22 February 2007
OMG the Kris saga keeps going!
Feb 22, 2007 at 6:16 PM
As you have all known I have been battling with this Kris saga and how anyone who says they are my friend would do such a thing... it is a suzy school thing to do.
Well I took the boys to school this morning and then came home and got in the car to go out to buy stationery to make some more invitation samples (feeling quite excited about it as I am a stationery aholic woohoooo he he he).. anyway back on the subject. I got a text from Kris and I sighed and my mum said "what is wrong" so I told her about the text. I have told her about all what Kris did and how she alienated my trainer Joy (which hasn't gotten back to normal either). So with all that I told her what Kris had written which is as follows:
Hi I knw this is a long shot but if u r free ths morning wld u let me buy u a coffee? I wld like 2 put the past behind us & move 4ward. I really do miss our friendship & I knw I hav sd & done sme hurtful things & I am sorry 4 tht if I cld change thngs I wld. Plse consider it. I am free till 11.30am.
Mum said that she has texted twice maybe it would be nice to go and see what she has to say and sort it out and to get it so that I don't have to afford her but not to get back as friends. To be quite honest I don't want to get back as friends. I don't mind be acqaintance but that is it for me.
So I texted her back with "I am not sure Kris. U caused so much crap 4 me and in the email u were happy about it. I miss some things but other things I certainly don't. My mum thinks I should have a coffee so I only half an hour."
She texted back " Thank u. I dnt blame u 4 being cautious u hav every right 2 b."
So we had morning tea and when I got out of my car she came over and OMG I didn't know what to do or say as I still had such hatred for this woman that in the past 3 months has caused my life to turn upside down. She gave me a hug and said that she missed our friendship and was glad that I came for a coffee..
I am not sure what I felt but pity for a woman that thrives on kaos.
Went in the coffee shop and she paid for a coffee (skinny one he he) and when she passed her card over she was shaking like fully shaking and when she tried to close her purse she was shaking and I said to her "what is wrong" she said that she will tell me soon.
So we sat down and I heard that she was sorry and bla bla bla I just felt like screaming at her. But I had to give her the benefit of the doubt at least she is saying sorry for all the crap but that doesn't excuse it ya know.
She said that yesterday she went to the doctors as a friend took her there and tried 4 doctors before getting in to the doctor... now I was sitting there thinking does she think this excuses everything? I didn't do this to her she did... The doctor said it was anxiety and has put her on antidepressents etc.
In the last couple of months she has alienated her mother and me and her family and other friends so something needed to be said that she needs to go and see a counsellor or someone.
I sound harsh don't I? I did talk to her and I was nice and in parts we smiled but I don't want to deal with all her emotional stuff anymore... I have enough crap in my own life to deal with let alone solving hers. I am happy that it can be left in the past now so I don't have to avoid her all the time but to be quite frank I don't trust her anymore. We left on a good note and she kept apologising and I said to her... I am not sure what to say to you Kris but thank you for the coffee.... I think I was unemotional about it in the end because I didn't feel anything anymore after finding out that she enjoyed giving false documents to my trainer and her trainer.
Which by the way she was telling me that her and my trainer have been texting a lot (now Kris always told me that she was jealous of the friendship between Joy and I) now I guess she has gotten what she wanted my trainer... anyway Joy said to her that I wouldn't answer the phone if she called and maybe I should take a morning tea over to my house and sort it out... I am pissed about that because I told Joy how I felt and she needed to keep her nose out of it. So I have made the decision that I am not telling Joy anything about my private life anymore and I am only doing the PT's with her as I get a lot out of them but that is it... I don't want to get in to that crap ever happening again and if I don't convide I don't have to hide.
I told my friend Tania and she thought I was a fool to go back into that crap and that I will get sucked in once again and I said to her that I just wanted all this to end but it didn't mean that I was back as her friend as I want to be able to trust my friends. She still said it quite to the point that she thought it was the wrong move considering she knows Kris.
I also phoned Debbie to see what she thought and OMG her and Tania could be the same person sometimes... they both haven't met each other but they are sooooo similar it is scary.
So that was my interesting morning.
So after the coffee with Kris I went out shopping for papers for doing my invitation samples woohoooo got to spend some money and on my favorite thing..... STATIONARY WOOHOOOO.
Did anyone watch bloody Biggest Loser at the end they basically told us in the commercial that the blue team lost OMG that really pissed me off!!!
I am rooting for the blue team as I like their attitude and I am rooting for Eric to win (he is like 400 pounds).... I don't mind the red team but that lady that made that other lady feel really bad last week I could have slapped her... Karma!!! what goes around comes around and what a bitch for telling her off in front of national television... if it was me I would have gotten rid of her because she isn't a team player.
Anyway on that note I am going to make invitations woohooooo
Love CM
Comments
Chris H wrote:
Feb 24, 2007 at 3:29 PM
Mandy.... remember that Kris is a chronic lier, what she said about your trainer could be a bloody lie to alienate you from your trainer again. Be careful of a wolf in sheep's clothing, do not trust her. She has shown herself to be a back stabbing bitch, and leopards DO NOT change their spots. She is just feeling sorry for HERSELF cos she had alienated so many people against herself.
I take my hat off my head to you for going to coffee, I would not have given her the satisfaction on being able to say "Mandy has forgiven me", cos I bet she uses that to her advantage somehow.
I hope you had a wonderful time shopping for stationary, I love it too.
Kateypie wrote:
Feb 24, 2007 at 9:31 PM
I hope you will post some photos of the invites! Exciting!
pink-elephants wrote:
Feb 25, 2007 at 9:36 AM
hi Mandy
hmmmm re Kris-I see she has posted a comment on my blog over night I need to go delete this. I think u did the right thing by going and seeing her in your mind now u know u r over her u felt nothing for her and u can get on with your life if she contacts u again just say no thanks and say hello if u pass in street as u would anyother stranger and this in reality is what she is strange. She was a big part of your life for a while but now that part is over u have gone differnet ways...like a lost love there are memories but it wouldn't be a good idea to go back there.
Hope u r having an awesome weekend big hugs from me
Felicity
Celtic Girl wrote:
Feb 25, 2007 at 9:15 PM
Mandz, I agree with Chris, dont trust the her, be very careful.I think she was trying for the sympathy vote from you re her "anxiety" problem which has all been created by her, so let her wallow in her own shit.
As you have all known I have been battling with this Kris saga and how anyone who says they are my friend would do such a thing... it is a suzy school thing to do.
Well I took the boys to school this morning and then came home and got in the car to go out to buy stationery to make some more invitation samples (feeling quite excited about it as I am a stationery aholic woohoooo he he he).. anyway back on the subject. I got a text from Kris and I sighed and my mum said "what is wrong" so I told her about the text. I have told her about all what Kris did and how she alienated my trainer Joy (which hasn't gotten back to normal either). So with all that I told her what Kris had written which is as follows:
Hi I knw this is a long shot but if u r free ths morning wld u let me buy u a coffee? I wld like 2 put the past behind us & move 4ward. I really do miss our friendship & I knw I hav sd & done sme hurtful things & I am sorry 4 tht if I cld change thngs I wld. Plse consider it. I am free till 11.30am.
Mum said that she has texted twice maybe it would be nice to go and see what she has to say and sort it out and to get it so that I don't have to afford her but not to get back as friends. To be quite honest I don't want to get back as friends. I don't mind be acqaintance but that is it for me.
So I texted her back with "I am not sure Kris. U caused so much crap 4 me and in the email u were happy about it. I miss some things but other things I certainly don't. My mum thinks I should have a coffee so I only half an hour."
She texted back " Thank u. I dnt blame u 4 being cautious u hav every right 2 b."
So we had morning tea and when I got out of my car she came over and OMG I didn't know what to do or say as I still had such hatred for this woman that in the past 3 months has caused my life to turn upside down. She gave me a hug and said that she missed our friendship and was glad that I came for a coffee..
I am not sure what I felt but pity for a woman that thrives on kaos.
Went in the coffee shop and she paid for a coffee (skinny one he he) and when she passed her card over she was shaking like fully shaking and when she tried to close her purse she was shaking and I said to her "what is wrong" she said that she will tell me soon.
So we sat down and I heard that she was sorry and bla bla bla I just felt like screaming at her. But I had to give her the benefit of the doubt at least she is saying sorry for all the crap but that doesn't excuse it ya know.
She said that yesterday she went to the doctors as a friend took her there and tried 4 doctors before getting in to the doctor... now I was sitting there thinking does she think this excuses everything? I didn't do this to her she did... The doctor said it was anxiety and has put her on antidepressents etc.
In the last couple of months she has alienated her mother and me and her family and other friends so something needed to be said that she needs to go and see a counsellor or someone.
I sound harsh don't I? I did talk to her and I was nice and in parts we smiled but I don't want to deal with all her emotional stuff anymore... I have enough crap in my own life to deal with let alone solving hers. I am happy that it can be left in the past now so I don't have to avoid her all the time but to be quite frank I don't trust her anymore. We left on a good note and she kept apologising and I said to her... I am not sure what to say to you Kris but thank you for the coffee.... I think I was unemotional about it in the end because I didn't feel anything anymore after finding out that she enjoyed giving false documents to my trainer and her trainer.
Which by the way she was telling me that her and my trainer have been texting a lot (now Kris always told me that she was jealous of the friendship between Joy and I) now I guess she has gotten what she wanted my trainer... anyway Joy said to her that I wouldn't answer the phone if she called and maybe I should take a morning tea over to my house and sort it out... I am pissed about that because I told Joy how I felt and she needed to keep her nose out of it. So I have made the decision that I am not telling Joy anything about my private life anymore and I am only doing the PT's with her as I get a lot out of them but that is it... I don't want to get in to that crap ever happening again and if I don't convide I don't have to hide.
I told my friend Tania and she thought I was a fool to go back into that crap and that I will get sucked in once again and I said to her that I just wanted all this to end but it didn't mean that I was back as her friend as I want to be able to trust my friends. She still said it quite to the point that she thought it was the wrong move considering she knows Kris.
I also phoned Debbie to see what she thought and OMG her and Tania could be the same person sometimes... they both haven't met each other but they are sooooo similar it is scary.
So that was my interesting morning.
So after the coffee with Kris I went out shopping for papers for doing my invitation samples woohoooo got to spend some money and on my favorite thing..... STATIONARY WOOHOOOO.
Did anyone watch bloody Biggest Loser at the end they basically told us in the commercial that the blue team lost OMG that really pissed me off!!!
I am rooting for the blue team as I like their attitude and I am rooting for Eric to win (he is like 400 pounds).... I don't mind the red team but that lady that made that other lady feel really bad last week I could have slapped her... Karma!!! what goes around comes around and what a bitch for telling her off in front of national television... if it was me I would have gotten rid of her because she isn't a team player.
Anyway on that note I am going to make invitations woohooooo
Love CM
Comments
Chris H wrote:
Feb 24, 2007 at 3:29 PM
Mandy.... remember that Kris is a chronic lier, what she said about your trainer could be a bloody lie to alienate you from your trainer again. Be careful of a wolf in sheep's clothing, do not trust her. She has shown herself to be a back stabbing bitch, and leopards DO NOT change their spots. She is just feeling sorry for HERSELF cos she had alienated so many people against herself.
I take my hat off my head to you for going to coffee, I would not have given her the satisfaction on being able to say "Mandy has forgiven me", cos I bet she uses that to her advantage somehow.
I hope you had a wonderful time shopping for stationary, I love it too.
Kateypie wrote:
Feb 24, 2007 at 9:31 PM
I hope you will post some photos of the invites! Exciting!
pink-elephants wrote:
Feb 25, 2007 at 9:36 AM
hi Mandy
hmmmm re Kris-I see she has posted a comment on my blog over night I need to go delete this. I think u did the right thing by going and seeing her in your mind now u know u r over her u felt nothing for her and u can get on with your life if she contacts u again just say no thanks and say hello if u pass in street as u would anyother stranger and this in reality is what she is strange. She was a big part of your life for a while but now that part is over u have gone differnet ways...like a lost love there are memories but it wouldn't be a good idea to go back there.
Hope u r having an awesome weekend big hugs from me
Felicity
Celtic Girl wrote:
Feb 25, 2007 at 9:15 PM
Mandz, I agree with Chris, dont trust the her, be very careful.I think she was trying for the sympathy vote from you re her "anxiety" problem which has all been created by her, so let her wallow in her own shit.
Tuesday, 30 January 2007
Been tagged
Jan 30, 2007 at 2:59 PM
Believe it or not this is the fourth time I have tried to put this up.
For some reason I accept it and it deletes have of it grrrr so I left it a day so that this silly problem will go away.
Today was an ok day... really full on work wise but that is ok. (Don't usually work on Thursdays but worked half day today)
I got tagged by Chris (Diet Coke Rocks):Four things about Me:
A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
- Bank Officer
- Research Financial Administrator
- Computer Consultant
- Computer Teacher
B) Four movies I would watch over and over:
- Under the Tuscan Sun- Chocolat'
- Anything James Bond
- Over the Hedge
C) Four places I have lived:
- Bermuda
- Auckland
- Hamilton
- Hamilton (another subdivision)
D) Four favourite T.V. shows:
- Shortland Street
- CSI
- Bones
- Biggest Loser (addicted)
Well my friend Tania opened her shop today and it looks really good... quite jealous but really happy for her as it looks really good and she seemed so happy. We are going to her grand opening on Saturday which she is expecting people will buy from and to be honest I can't afford it and when she showed me all the stuff she was having in her shop last week I was saying Oh I like this and that and so today when I went to visit the shop she said "I made sure I didn't put that necklace in the window as I know you really liked it and might buy it" OMG I didn't say I would buy it but she assumes I am going to and to be quite honest we are sooooo skint with money at the moment I don't have the heart to say I can't.. I also don't want to look like a stinge either ya know.
I offered to look after her 3 kids this afternoon as the poor buggers were stuck in the shop most of the day as she didn't have anyone to look after them. I had my two and her 3 and then the little boy up the road was lonely so I had 6 kids to watch over this afternoon so not suprising I have a huge headache...
I also had an arguement with my wonderful husband because I was being a stupid cow not being satisfied with all the wonderful things and the wonderful husband I have and picked a fight with him tonight. Some of the things I said were justified but some of them weren't and I apologised for the not so good things. I think I get frustrated with the fact that I want to do so much with my life and things keep stopping me.
I think with my friend starting this business it has made me realise how much I want to do something with my life. It has made me realise more and more that I want to be a Life Coach and do something that I feel I would be good at and the only thing stopping me is money. A guy friend of mine said..."if you want it bad enough and if it is right you will make it happen"... he is right! So even though the government said that they wouldn't give a loan for this subject I went online and applied for a student loan to see if the ruling had gone through yet... hey no harm in trying aye... and it isn't like I am not going to pay it back. OMG I have paid my taxes and I have never never been on the dole and I have worked my backside off all my life I feel that I am entitled to have some breaks in this world...so we shall see what happens and if I get the loan aye.
I am also enrolling in a night course where a life coach helps you work out your personal goals, work goals, financial goals etc and what you want to achieve in life with hubby.. It is a 4 week course and I think we would benefit and I suppose doing some research on what a life coach does and is like would be good experience for me as well aye.
I have my PT session with Joy tomorrow and I am looking forward to it. I am not looking forward to seeing bloody Kris there though... she doesn't work... you would think she would fuck off and have her sessions at different times to me as I don't want to see her bloody face but no she makes them at the same time so I have to see her. Mind you I work harder cause she is there and I am not going to let her think just because she is skinnier she is fitter than me....
Went to the gym on Wednesday night and did the kickboxing class and walk to the class and did the class and walked home and at the class Joy was impressed with me doing the full on star jumps and running on the stop where as I used to do the lower impact one since starting... I must admit the reason I didn't do the high impact stuff is because I had my chest bumping up and down and my tummy too and it still creeps me out. Hubby said we can go out this weekend and find a bra that I can wear that will be more supportive but sports bra's don't come in my size... not that I have ever seen so where do I go to find one that doesn't have a bloody bone in it grrr.
Ok I am rambling on tonight.
Might leave it at that.
I suppose since I am rambling on it must mean that I am getting to be more comfortable in my new blog talking about things.
Can't say I have been very good this week with food... I have to get back in the swing. But that is ok.. I am going to lose this weight even if it takes me five years. What have I got to rush about? Nothing!!! As long as I don't gain it back and keep going down then life is good.
Love Chubbymum
Comments
Chris H wrote:
Feb 1, 2007 at 9:47 PM
Be honest with your friend and tell her that although you do love the necklace you simply can't afford it.... don't beat yourself up about it, if she's really your friend she won't be upset or try to push you into buying it. Looking after 6 kids, yep did that all day every day with my own... and yep, I had a constant headache ! lol As for seeing Kris the Bitch when you are at the gym, why not change your times so you don't end up there when she is? I know it's kinda like running away from her, but do you really need the aggrivation of seeing her ugly mutt ? I'd find it off putting!
Rachel's World wrote:
Feb 2, 2007 at 10:23 AM
Yep I agree with everything Chis_H said.
Hope your all better now sweets, I have been checking in everyday to see if you have left a post, scored today....LOL
I am also addicted to The Biggest Loser and apparently there is a new one starting in Australia (last night) so I don't know how long we have to wait to get it here but I hope not too long. God I wish they had one in NZ, I would SOOOOO apply for it.
Believe it or not this is the fourth time I have tried to put this up.
For some reason I accept it and it deletes have of it grrrr so I left it a day so that this silly problem will go away.
Today was an ok day... really full on work wise but that is ok. (Don't usually work on Thursdays but worked half day today)
I got tagged by Chris (Diet Coke Rocks):Four things about Me:
A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
- Bank Officer
- Research Financial Administrator
- Computer Consultant
- Computer Teacher
B) Four movies I would watch over and over:
- Under the Tuscan Sun- Chocolat'
- Anything James Bond
- Over the Hedge
C) Four places I have lived:
- Bermuda
- Auckland
- Hamilton
- Hamilton (another subdivision)
D) Four favourite T.V. shows:
- Shortland Street
- CSI
- Bones
- Biggest Loser (addicted)
Well my friend Tania opened her shop today and it looks really good... quite jealous but really happy for her as it looks really good and she seemed so happy. We are going to her grand opening on Saturday which she is expecting people will buy from and to be honest I can't afford it and when she showed me all the stuff she was having in her shop last week I was saying Oh I like this and that and so today when I went to visit the shop she said "I made sure I didn't put that necklace in the window as I know you really liked it and might buy it" OMG I didn't say I would buy it but she assumes I am going to and to be quite honest we are sooooo skint with money at the moment I don't have the heart to say I can't.. I also don't want to look like a stinge either ya know.
I offered to look after her 3 kids this afternoon as the poor buggers were stuck in the shop most of the day as she didn't have anyone to look after them. I had my two and her 3 and then the little boy up the road was lonely so I had 6 kids to watch over this afternoon so not suprising I have a huge headache...
I also had an arguement with my wonderful husband because I was being a stupid cow not being satisfied with all the wonderful things and the wonderful husband I have and picked a fight with him tonight. Some of the things I said were justified but some of them weren't and I apologised for the not so good things. I think I get frustrated with the fact that I want to do so much with my life and things keep stopping me.
I think with my friend starting this business it has made me realise how much I want to do something with my life. It has made me realise more and more that I want to be a Life Coach and do something that I feel I would be good at and the only thing stopping me is money. A guy friend of mine said..."if you want it bad enough and if it is right you will make it happen"... he is right! So even though the government said that they wouldn't give a loan for this subject I went online and applied for a student loan to see if the ruling had gone through yet... hey no harm in trying aye... and it isn't like I am not going to pay it back. OMG I have paid my taxes and I have never never been on the dole and I have worked my backside off all my life I feel that I am entitled to have some breaks in this world...so we shall see what happens and if I get the loan aye.
I am also enrolling in a night course where a life coach helps you work out your personal goals, work goals, financial goals etc and what you want to achieve in life with hubby.. It is a 4 week course and I think we would benefit and I suppose doing some research on what a life coach does and is like would be good experience for me as well aye.
I have my PT session with Joy tomorrow and I am looking forward to it. I am not looking forward to seeing bloody Kris there though... she doesn't work... you would think she would fuck off and have her sessions at different times to me as I don't want to see her bloody face but no she makes them at the same time so I have to see her. Mind you I work harder cause she is there and I am not going to let her think just because she is skinnier she is fitter than me....
Went to the gym on Wednesday night and did the kickboxing class and walk to the class and did the class and walked home and at the class Joy was impressed with me doing the full on star jumps and running on the stop where as I used to do the lower impact one since starting... I must admit the reason I didn't do the high impact stuff is because I had my chest bumping up and down and my tummy too and it still creeps me out. Hubby said we can go out this weekend and find a bra that I can wear that will be more supportive but sports bra's don't come in my size... not that I have ever seen so where do I go to find one that doesn't have a bloody bone in it grrr.
Ok I am rambling on tonight.
Might leave it at that.
I suppose since I am rambling on it must mean that I am getting to be more comfortable in my new blog talking about things.
Can't say I have been very good this week with food... I have to get back in the swing. But that is ok.. I am going to lose this weight even if it takes me five years. What have I got to rush about? Nothing!!! As long as I don't gain it back and keep going down then life is good.
Love Chubbymum
Comments
Chris H wrote:
Feb 1, 2007 at 9:47 PM
Be honest with your friend and tell her that although you do love the necklace you simply can't afford it.... don't beat yourself up about it, if she's really your friend she won't be upset or try to push you into buying it. Looking after 6 kids, yep did that all day every day with my own... and yep, I had a constant headache ! lol As for seeing Kris the Bitch when you are at the gym, why not change your times so you don't end up there when she is? I know it's kinda like running away from her, but do you really need the aggrivation of seeing her ugly mutt ? I'd find it off putting!
Rachel's World wrote:
Feb 2, 2007 at 10:23 AM
Yep I agree with everything Chis_H said.
Hope your all better now sweets, I have been checking in everyday to see if you have left a post, scored today....LOL
I am also addicted to The Biggest Loser and apparently there is a new one starting in Australia (last night) so I don't know how long we have to wait to get it here but I hope not too long. God I wish they had one in NZ, I would SOOOOO apply for it.
Wednesday, 17 January 2007
Not much to say
Jan 17, 2007 at 8:30 PM
I haven't got much to say but feel like I have to do a post or I will get lazy he he he
I felt more confident today because of my loss last night. 800 grams for me is fantastic.
Went to the gym tonight to my first Kick boxing class with Joy my personal trainer and I worked my butt off. Before I went I had decided that I was going to try things I haven't done before or moves that I have done the easy option to... so tonight I did the jogging instead of the walking fast on the spot and I did full star jumps FULL STAR JUMPS OMG instead of the one step sideways.
I made sure all the hand work was done at the same time and I pushed hard and didn't give in. I sometimes feel like I don't go that extra little mile... I get to the point where I am hurting and then I don't go that extra mile and push through it and after watching The Biggest Loser in the last couple of weeks I have been thinking about the program and then I go through that barrier.
I have not ever wanted it so bad as I have in the last couple of weeks.
I have 22.8 kilos to get under 100 kilos CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???? only 22.8 kilos... not 54.7 kilos like the start of my journey.
Sue... thanks for the offer I appreciate it and I will use it to (you know what I mean)... thank you!
Work was ok today got a little annoyed with the Manager of the centre I have my office in... how useless is she!!
OMG I was sooo sick of covering her backside the last 6 months since she took over (when she had been jointly doing the job for the first 6 months) and she never gives credit where credit is due that I took some problems that she caused in her office today while her boss was there (didn't know she was but I was leaving for the day) and said "you need to sort these out because I am tired of fixing the problems when I have constantly been telling you guys how to do it" I know it was harsh but OMG there is so much you can take and not get credit for before you crack... and today it was me.
I worked full time last week instead of 20 hours a week to fix all the stuff ups that she caused over the holiday break that I think I got to breaking point.
OMG I got flack from Debbie today about not telling her how much I had lost last night.. she made such a big deal with her boss that her boss turned around and said "do you think maybe she lost way more than you had that maybe she didn't want to make you feel small" I just smiled and walked away... realistically she knows that wouldn't happen but why would she be so upset that I didn't tell her....?? don't quite get it... I didn't tell anyone at work when they asked too so that she didn't feel it was just her.
I felt better about it though... I felt like finally this journey was mine and now for all to see... I don't mind on here because of the support and we are all happy for all of our losses... but I feel quilty everytime I tell someone as the meeting how much I had lost because it is never a lot.... I don't want the quilt I want to feel proud of my accomplishments.
WHEW it feels good to just get it off my chest.... and talk talk talk... isn't this the way it is supposed to be? I feel like a journal is my way of getting it off my chest and working on it and not bottling it up inside.
OHHHH I am sore!! sore sore in my arms tonight after class.
Off tomorrow... got a PT with Joy and I am going to treat myself and get my nails done to feel good about myself.
I am going to my uncles funeral on Friday and I haven't seen most of the people that are coming in a couple of years as they live a long way away and hopefully someone will notice the difference in me... not that they are there for that but sometimes it is nice to talk about something else... It is bringing back a lot of upset moments for me at the moment and especially about my Dad. I so know what my cousin is going through at the moment and I hope to God that she has spent as much time with her Dad before he died because you can never get the time back.....
Anyway I have rambled on too much now.
Love Chubbymum
Comments
Rachel's World wrote:
Jan 18, 2007 at 2:48 PM
[this is good]Good on you for saying something at work, if you don't nobody else is going to ay?
Celtic Girl wrote:
Jan 18, 2007 at 2:56 PM
Congrats on your loss, yourve been working hard and you deserve it. Also a big Hug, I hate funerals to as they always bring back sad memories for me, try and remember the good times hun. Chin up
Hippygal wrote:
Jan 18, 2007 at 7:50 PM
Sorry to hear about your Uncle. But congrats on your loss :):).You will get there.Jaxx
Lee wrote:
Jan 18, 2007 at 9:45 PM
Sorry to hear of your loss.
You are doing so well:)
I have started reading Dr Phil 7 keys - what was the addy for the group you wrote to me about?
Anne wrote:
Jan 19, 2007 at 9:24 AM
Great loss - well done! You aer sounding so positive! Good on you for saying your thoughts at work. Had to be done/
fortysumthing wrote:
Jan 22, 2007 at 4:42 PM
[this is good]
Hey girl
You sound great. I finally caught up with your blog. I love it. You sound so happy and things are working out well . Will email you later. Take care. And happy new year!!!!
Rachel's World wrote:
Jan 23, 2007 at 11:17 AM
Hello in there...........is there anyone home?????????
Lee wrote:
Jan 24, 2007 at 11:44 AM
Just checking in to see how you are going!!
I haven't got much to say but feel like I have to do a post or I will get lazy he he he
I felt more confident today because of my loss last night. 800 grams for me is fantastic.
Went to the gym tonight to my first Kick boxing class with Joy my personal trainer and I worked my butt off. Before I went I had decided that I was going to try things I haven't done before or moves that I have done the easy option to... so tonight I did the jogging instead of the walking fast on the spot and I did full star jumps FULL STAR JUMPS OMG instead of the one step sideways.
I made sure all the hand work was done at the same time and I pushed hard and didn't give in. I sometimes feel like I don't go that extra little mile... I get to the point where I am hurting and then I don't go that extra mile and push through it and after watching The Biggest Loser in the last couple of weeks I have been thinking about the program and then I go through that barrier.
I have not ever wanted it so bad as I have in the last couple of weeks.
I have 22.8 kilos to get under 100 kilos CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???? only 22.8 kilos... not 54.7 kilos like the start of my journey.
Sue... thanks for the offer I appreciate it and I will use it to (you know what I mean)... thank you!
Work was ok today got a little annoyed with the Manager of the centre I have my office in... how useless is she!!
OMG I was sooo sick of covering her backside the last 6 months since she took over (when she had been jointly doing the job for the first 6 months) and she never gives credit where credit is due that I took some problems that she caused in her office today while her boss was there (didn't know she was but I was leaving for the day) and said "you need to sort these out because I am tired of fixing the problems when I have constantly been telling you guys how to do it" I know it was harsh but OMG there is so much you can take and not get credit for before you crack... and today it was me.
I worked full time last week instead of 20 hours a week to fix all the stuff ups that she caused over the holiday break that I think I got to breaking point.
OMG I got flack from Debbie today about not telling her how much I had lost last night.. she made such a big deal with her boss that her boss turned around and said "do you think maybe she lost way more than you had that maybe she didn't want to make you feel small" I just smiled and walked away... realistically she knows that wouldn't happen but why would she be so upset that I didn't tell her....?? don't quite get it... I didn't tell anyone at work when they asked too so that she didn't feel it was just her.
I felt better about it though... I felt like finally this journey was mine and now for all to see... I don't mind on here because of the support and we are all happy for all of our losses... but I feel quilty everytime I tell someone as the meeting how much I had lost because it is never a lot.... I don't want the quilt I want to feel proud of my accomplishments.
WHEW it feels good to just get it off my chest.... and talk talk talk... isn't this the way it is supposed to be? I feel like a journal is my way of getting it off my chest and working on it and not bottling it up inside.
OHHHH I am sore!! sore sore in my arms tonight after class.
Off tomorrow... got a PT with Joy and I am going to treat myself and get my nails done to feel good about myself.
I am going to my uncles funeral on Friday and I haven't seen most of the people that are coming in a couple of years as they live a long way away and hopefully someone will notice the difference in me... not that they are there for that but sometimes it is nice to talk about something else... It is bringing back a lot of upset moments for me at the moment and especially about my Dad. I so know what my cousin is going through at the moment and I hope to God that she has spent as much time with her Dad before he died because you can never get the time back.....
Anyway I have rambled on too much now.
Love Chubbymum
Comments
Rachel's World wrote:
Jan 18, 2007 at 2:48 PM
[this is good]Good on you for saying something at work, if you don't nobody else is going to ay?
Celtic Girl wrote:
Jan 18, 2007 at 2:56 PM
Congrats on your loss, yourve been working hard and you deserve it. Also a big Hug, I hate funerals to as they always bring back sad memories for me, try and remember the good times hun. Chin up
Hippygal wrote:
Jan 18, 2007 at 7:50 PM
Sorry to hear about your Uncle. But congrats on your loss :):).You will get there.Jaxx
Lee wrote:
Jan 18, 2007 at 9:45 PM
Sorry to hear of your loss.
You are doing so well:)
I have started reading Dr Phil 7 keys - what was the addy for the group you wrote to me about?
Anne wrote:
Jan 19, 2007 at 9:24 AM
Great loss - well done! You aer sounding so positive! Good on you for saying your thoughts at work. Had to be done/
fortysumthing wrote:
Jan 22, 2007 at 4:42 PM
[this is good]
Hey girl
You sound great. I finally caught up with your blog. I love it. You sound so happy and things are working out well . Will email you later. Take care. And happy new year!!!!
Rachel's World wrote:
Jan 23, 2007 at 11:17 AM
Hello in there...........is there anyone home?????????
Lee wrote:
Jan 24, 2007 at 11:44 AM
Just checking in to see how you are going!!
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