Private and Upset

I am a little upset with Helena's comment and I know she was saying it to get my butt in to gear and maybe I do bag other people too much. Maybe that is the reason I am fat is because I am a horrible person and blame everyone else for my problems?

I felt like I could say anything on my blog but maybe they are getting tired of my moaning?

I don't want to blog anymore and I know that shouldn't deter me as I have to take constructive critisism but I don't feel like I can say anything when I get comments like that.

Helena's comment was: YOU my darling are creating your own web, I read your post from the other day ... it was debbie this and joy that and kris this and them all doing this and that ... you need to stop worry about every other bugger around the place and put the focus back on YOU. Stop using them as an excuse and get YOURSELF back on track and focussed. Sounds like you had a bloody fabulous family weekend, nice work ... those three men in your life should be all the motivation you need - they are wee stars! *smooch*

I realistically know that she is helping me but it made me feel like a little child and my mother was telling me off once again because I dont' conform to what she wants...

and then ChrisH said this: Ditto to both of the above.... go dye ya hair blonde.... you are acting like one! I too left WW for various reasons. . . then went back 2 weeks ago cos I missed all me mates etc etc.. but the reasons for leaving were still there and I ended up regretting going! Derr, so now I'm not going again ... again... and I AM BLONDE. So there! Have a lovely day tomorrow and get over other people and just do what's right for YOU

I don't think that I was acting blonde... wasn't too happy about how she put it.... like reading my blog was ditzy and that my feelings weren't right and that they were air headed... it isn't what I was trying to get at.

I am angry that Kris seems to take over my life but maybe I am being silly about that... am I doing the same thing with Debbie now? Is that why I can't seem to keep friends? Do I expect that I should always win? Maybe I do expect that?

I have tried today to drink my water and to eat right today and I can keep this up.

Deep down I don't really want to go to Weight Watchers for the right reason just because I am missing the get togethers but I can get that from Rock'n Roll or the friends I already have. I don't want other people to be seeing what I am seeing in Debbie at the moment with all the negativeness and all the moaning and groaning.

How can I make my life to be what I want? I keep asking Jeremy to help but he doesn't realistically know... amd I expecting him to sort out things that I can do myself because when I fail it is because I am trying to get others to help me when I have to help myself and I am not doing that and trying to blame hubby.

He eats the same thing as me... and he is losing but I do have little things here and there that he doesn't and that is what my downfall is. I am going back to eating chocolate and chips and dips and crap and not drinking my water and trying to fool myself that I am doing everything possible to loose this weight when I am not.

Caught in a web of indecision

Lee-Anne you are right.... it is time for me to update he he

You guys know what my weekends are like and ever since I have been to that parenting seminar I have been spending even more quality time with the kids.... so let's see what have we done

Saturday was busy shopping with the kids getting Lego and jigsaw puzzles because we knew the rest of the weekend was going to be crappy so we organised with the kids that from Saturday afternoon till Sunday morning we would have a camp out in the lounge... so we got their mattresses from their beds and their duevets and pillow and we camped in the lounge with popcorn and chippies and drinks and we played Lego and jigsaw puzzles and watched DVD's and basically spent time in our PJ's just doing things with them. It was great and the day went really fast and they even got to stay up till around 10pm watching the rugby (as we never let them stay up past 7.30 he he but I felt generous).... half way through the rugby they fell asleep woohooo so we got some time me and hubby chatting... We also went for a walk down and back on the river as it was nice in the morning when we went.

I totally enjoyed that day doing that and spending money on jigsaws as well.

Sunday was a miserable day but it was not going to stop me doing my exercise.... so we all got our raincoats, boots, umbrellas and warm weather gear on and went for a walk in the rain... I swear the people out there thought we were completely nutty but we enjoyed it and the boys got to trample in the puddles etc so that was great. We went 6,320 steps on our walk so I was pleased with that and felt that I didn't mind spending the rest of the day doing jigsaw puzzles and watching tv... woooohooo for us. I was smiling in the rain because the boys weren't too happy we were doing it at the start but they totally enjoyed it while we were out. We did manage to stop at the coffee shop and have a hot chocolate so that made their days too.

So I am back at work today boo hoo and not feeling like I want to be here but I am and hey that is life.

As you all know I haven't been going to Weight Watchers for about a month because I have been paying for it and feeling like I wasn't learning anything new out of it and that I could do it on my own....

Well anyway a lady turned up in my office today from Weight Watchers (not the leaders just a lady loosing weight) and said that she couldn't miss the opportunity (as her company delivers the bread to our creche) and she told them that she would go and deliver it today and so..... anyway she came in to my office and said that everyone is missing me and that I am such an inspiration to her and the reason she kept going and for me not to be there is quite a downer now.

Said that she was sad to hear that I wouldn't be coming back... OH GOD now I feel quilty but happy at the same time because I didn't want to leave as I made some great friends but I couldn't justify the money either for the yoyoing I had been doing but I might reconsider as this might be the push that I needed??? She didn't have to do that and it was a nice thing for her to take time out to come and tell me that... hmmmm lots of pondering is going to be happening I think.

I was telling her about my delima with Debbie and that I felt like the competition wasn't good and I didn't want to ruin our friendship either and she said "she is such a negative person and I would much rather that you were there instead of her and that I should still be going and if the friendship was worth it then it would get through it" OKKKKKK so that made me feel like a bitch for saying it because I can lose this weight if I want to I just have to work out a way that I can not let Debbie and her competing get to me... I know it is in my head but it is hard to compete with a person that is 10 years younger and doesn't have anything stopping her because she is single with no kids etc....

I just don't know what to do. I spoke to hubby on the phone and he said the reasons that I left Weight Watchers were right and that I was spending money for nothing and that I know what to do I just have to do it and that is what we are working on at home. So now that made me even more confused... I don't know what I want to do.... sigh

I am feeling really great about the steps diet I am doing as it is a little like Weight Watchers but if I want something naughty I need to do more steps etc to make up for it and it seems sooo simple to me. But I do love the support I get from the ladies at WW too... grrrr

Anyway before I do my head in I am going to go.

I really should be blonde shouldn't I.... ditzy bitch I am.

Love ya
CM

Geesh my rambling on again.

I have been confused on which plan to stick with in the last week. I have been reading Helena's bible, Step diet, Downsize me, and been thinking about Weight Watchers. OMG what is wrong with me that I can't find something that suits me. I have to stick to one and keep to it. I am missing WW but only missing the leaders and not the meeting or paying for it. I am not wanting to pay for it anymore when I know the rules but I am not keeping to it.

Why am I not keeping to it? Why have I lost my mojo? Why can't I keep to anything and do it? Am I the only person that switches so much? Do I stress too much like Lyn says? I suppose I do. Sometimes I just want a plan of the day of what I have to eat and what I have to do and that is it but then I want to rebel when I have a day where I have to do and eat from a list.

Went to my PT session with Joy today and OMG it was great and I did full sit ups 30 of them Wow I used to find it really hard to sit fully up with sit ups but I was doing ok with it today. She also made me do butt lifts too BITCH he he he but it was great to get it over and done with.

Ok so my food has been errational today as I felt sooo hungry when I got back from my PT so exucse the crap today.

Food today:
Breakfast: Fejoia Cereal 30 grams, Milk
Morning tea: Left over steak in the fridge (see told ya I was eating weird)
Lunch: 2 small bread rolls with chicken and salad, V
Dinner: Not sure yet

Why do I go through this? I am trying to understand how I think and why for the first half of the year I was doing so well and then what changed for me to suck at this?

I am not giving up and in the last couple of years I haven't but to stop losing is really getting to my head. While I was at my PT today I was getting sore arms because I was thinking of Kris's head while punching the punching bag and it made me feel great.

I want a challenge and exercise challenge so I was talking to Joy about it today because I am not with Lean I don't have any challenges and so I am not wanting to exercise etc because my team has disbanded over the last 6 months (Lean) because Kris joined I stopped going and about 6 of them don't go anymore either. Joy started a kickboxing class at the church up the hill from me and I was going to do that until Kris said she was doing it GEESH... am I stopping myself from going and losing out yes maybe I am but then I don't want have to deal with her shit anymore either ya know.

I am going to ask Debbie if she wants to go on Wednesday nights to Joys kickboxing and stuff Kris and if she gets pissed off that I am doing it with Debbie then too bad as well. I have to do something now for me and I do like Joy's kickboxing classes.

This coming week I am going to do the following exercises:

Monday: Kickboxing
Tuesday: Walk with hubby
Wednesday: Joys Kickboxing
Thursday: Go out for a walk while kids are at school
Friday: PT with Joy
Saturday: Go for a walk
Sunday: Go to the gym with hubby

I am going to up my steps too and if the weather is good at work next week at lunch time then I am going to go for a walk during the week as well.

I know what I am doing I mean for christ sake I have been doing it for 2 years... I can do this aye!! I can lose this weight I have to find something that boils my blood to make me stick to it. I don't have a goal and as those of you know that have read my blog for a while I find it really hard to find a goal that makes me go for it.

I think losing 200 grams a week for me at the moment would be a goal because then I won't feel the pressure and if I lose more then that will be bonus.

So I need constant reminders my friends to keep with this!!! To eat right and exercise and stop shovelling crap in my face. My hubby thinks I am not eating enough and that is why I am gaining but I am not sure... I get lost with the WW points in regards to exercise and whether to take them all or not. I used to do so much exercise that I couldn't eat all the exercise points.

We are taking the boys to Rock'n Roll classes tonight. Corbin had a chance to check it out at school on Thursday and they gave us a pamplet and said come along so we are going to take them tonight and see how they go. I hope there are a lot of kids their ages there and we can have some fun it should be great. I do worry about Quinn a little because he can be a cheeky monkey but when there are crowds and people he doesn't know he goes all silly and doesn't listen etc and goes shy it is soooo silly.

He he he Rachel it is such a pity you live such a way away because our sons sound like they like the same thing he he he and also the seminar (or talk not sure what they call it) was put on by Parents Inc the couple up the top of the website are the ones that do the seminar. The guy is absolutly fantastic and funny but his wife is not as funny but she knows what she is talking about. Also they do the parenting magazine and I find it really informative and I have a subscription to it because they go up to teenagers in it and not like the Little treasures magazine where it is only for babies.

So I will come back on and update and tell you how the boys went with Rock'n Roll. I want to take my camera but a little scared it is overdoing it for their first time he he he but if we go back next week then I will take it.

Anyway goodnight for now
CM

UPDATE:
Took the boys to the Rock'n Roll for kids and I swear there was about 30 kids in this little hall and there was about 15 at the start for the beginners but my two boys were the newest that started tonight so the guy was helping them heaps and they did sooooo well. Quinn is the youngest there being 5 years old and he did well too. I thought they would be shy and not do it but they got up and started and Corbin took to it like you wouldn't believe.

There was a girl there from his school and she said she had seen him at school but he couldn't remember her. Well they partnered up while he was learning and at half time Corbin was tired and had enough and she came and asked him to dance and he said No thank you OMG when the girl went I said to him "it is very rude to say no to someone that had the guts to come and ask you to dance Corbin and it was a nice thing she did"

I said to him how would he feel if he went and asked a girl and they said no" he then realised he did the wrong thing but he still didn't want to dance. I think next week he will go and ask her... she was quite cute too he he he and for her to ask him to dance she must have thought he was good he he he what a proud mummy I am.

They both want to go back next week and I am sure they will do well. I was talking to hubby and we might go on a Tuesday night to the adult lessons woohoooo some different exercise for me and for hubby and I to do something together this is going to be sooo much fun.

Thanks for listening to me today guys it is much appreciated.

Love ya all
CM

More thinking

I was quite upset with my gain yesterday and said to hubby even though I knew it wouldn't be much I hadn't been that bad with food this week. Well I hopped on the scales this morning thinking I would have been the same and it was down by 800 grams and that made me feel better because I have been trying to be good in the last week.

Thanks guys... I do realise I do start having a mini meltdown after having morning tea's with Kris and I don't know why I keep doing that??? This time for morning tea Kris didn't bug me as she usually does and it wasn't all about her like it had been ALL the other times we had morning tea etc and to her credit she is doing really well. I do know I don't want to spend a lot of time with her anymore but I do have to see her a lot with school (as her daughter is my son's class).

My breakfasts have been really good this week and I have been not worrying about them and they have been really filling.

I had been doing soooo well until I started this 10 week challenge with myself and then with others... why do I do that to myself. I go in with all good intentions but the competition (even with myself) puts me on a downward spiral. I go the opposite way.

Thanks everyone re your comments on the bread and I have been cutting down on it for the last two days and feeling much better and less bloated so that has been a bonus that is for sure.

What a day I have had.... I didn't have time to work on my business as it was taken up by kids. This morning I tested all the kids in Quinns class with their spelling and then from 11 I was with Corbin's class as they had a belonging day. It was were lots of different clubs came to school to tell them about their clubs... there were scouts, girl guides, karate, orienteering, rock'n roll, zoo club, tap dancing, jazz dancing, table tennis.

The kids got to choose 4 activities they would like to go on and then their first two choices were chosen if they could get them in with the numbers and Corbin chose Rock'n Roll and Orienteering and so I went as parent help and it was fantastic and now we are going to the Rock'n Roll club on Friday and the best thing is that Quinn is old enough to do it too so they are starting young. I sooooo loved Rock'n Roll as a kid so having my boys wanting to learn just makes my heart skip a beat woohoooo. Told hubby about it and he said well we will just have to go on Friday night and take them and it is only $3 each a week and that isn't bad at all.

So that is exercise for the whole family if hubby and I do it as well.

Corbin loved the orienteering too and that will be good exercise for the family too as you have to walk to find the next part of the challenge so I am looking forward to that. Apparently they can go to the Hamilton gardens and they have orienteering maps there and little numbers on trees etc to find at the gardens so that will be great as a family thing as well...

Then I had to take some magazines back to my friends florist as she needed them for a wedding that she is doing and back to the coffee shop by the school for a coffee with the girls I have coffee with every Thursday and then picked up the boys from school..... OMG the day went so fast and now I am veging out because I am all kids and schooled out ya know.

So todays food is:

Breakfast: Fejoia cereal with green milk, mandarins
Morning tea: Pumpkin seeds, almonds
Lunch: 5 sushi, V
Afternoon tea: Mocha frappe (made with water, no cream)
Dinner: Soup made with only veges (homemade hmmmm)

I need to jazz up my exercise and find another group that I feel comfortable with because I am getting bored with my exercise and need to do something different. Rock'n Roll is going to be something different and something I can do with my family... also need to find other things to do at the gym to jazz things up.

Can't say I want to go aqua jogging or anything because it is too cold and I would chicken out more than go really.

Maybe a sports group but I am a little chicken to do that too... hmm something to ponder on.

Thank you to all of you offering for me to go with you down to Chris H's... hubby said he wants to go down and that we should go and get away for the weekend. I just worry ya know... I have to registrations for our cars and Corbin's birthday, Quinn's birthday 20 days later and in the middle of that my birthday and fathers day and on top of that the expo is costing a bit too he he he so too many money things in those couple of months but hey I will find a way. I really appreciate the emails and the comments because they made my day knowing what a wonderful bunch of ladies you are and so caring. Why aren't we all living in the same town aye!!! life would be fantastic with such a bunch of you in walking distance.

Went to a seminar thingy last night by parents inc on Raising boys and OMG I haven't laughed so much in my life and we had so much fun with the couple we went with. I learnt some things and I was happy that a lot of things we already did too it was great. Corbin asked Jeremy this morning "Dad what did you learn last night" and Jeremy said "That you are awesome" (I was listening to this upstairs while they were down stairs) and Corbin's voice went high pitched and said Really Dad is such a happy voice it was great to hear and Jeremy said that he was smiling from ear to ear and he had said the same thing to Quinn so my boys were in such a great mood when they heard that from their Dad. We learnt that at the seminar to say that everyday to your sons because they would love it and they did. So simple but so effective.

Love ya all
Chubbymum

What the F**K is wrong with me

A wake up call today...

Kris asked me to go to morning tea with her this morning and sitting across from the table it made me even more aware that I am glad I am not totally in her life anymore but ok with going to morning tea with her. She has finally got her shit together with her life but it made me anry too only because she now goes to my lean and has my trainer and it still pisses me off that she took over my trainer and my team (and I know I could go back but I don't want to spend any more time with her than a cup of coffee).

Also she has no way to cause trouble for me like she did over this blog... it felt great that my life is a mystery in that aspect. Plus I can still blog and she doesn't have a clue what I am writing it is great.

It is good that her life is going well and she is feeling better but looking at her she has lost 45 kilos and looks sick... she is gaunt and look too skinny (not sure that that is the way to say it but not in a healthy way).... but it has made me aware that I am piss assing around and I am doing the right thing and not having nasty food but I have not in the last week worried about portions or food at all. I am happy that I am not obsessing but I am not happy that I am not losing it either... and really it is my own fault.

I gained 500 grams this week and to be fair we went out for lunch and I have had a little too much bread (which is my downfall) I haven't gone overboard but I could have had other options.

My portions suck... I am having the same as I have had since I started but I have lost 34 kilos so realistically I should be going down in size too as my stomach is not as big anymore ya know... and I haven't realised that until watching Downsize me last night. Too much of a good thing is not good.

I am sorry I haven't been around posting much lately but with trying to get everything up and running with the Wedding Expo (which is scaring me no end because I don't feel like my invites are good enough) and with also finishing a wedding at the moment for a customer I have been a little bit preoccupied. And Lee-Anne I am doing your invites at the moment too just want to have a couple of different options for you to look at ok.... I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN YOU!!! MWAHHH.

Also looking forward to getting together at ChrisH house in August that is going to be soooo exciting and to be getting away for a weekend without kids is a good thing too Woohoooo... hopefully by then I will be able to afford to go down as well arghhhh.

Seeing Kris today has put the shit up me (sorry for the language today) and made me realise I can do both but I HAVE TO WANT TO... and ok I am not gaining as such because every second week I am losing etc but it has to stop!!!

So far my food today is:

Breakfast: Hubbards Fejoia Cereal, Mandarins, Bottle of water

Lunch: Chicken Salad

I am going out tonight with one of the kids friends parents to a show about How to raise boys and that will be great... can't wait... it will be good to go out with them without kids being around and just being us and they have two boys as well. OH an exciting I lead huh NOT he he he.

I need to have Leanne (from Downsize me) at my house telling me to stop being a silly bitch!!!

Anyway I will come on later but right now I have to go and do some more invites.

Love ya

Chubbymum

Tuesday... day off with hubby and no kids woohoo

Why is time going so fast.

I don't go back to work till Monday and my week off is going to fast already. I don't go back till Monday but I don't want to go back at all. I have been enjoying doing my Papaya business in the last couple of days.

Today got up (didn't wanna he he he too cold and raining) and Jeremy and I took the boys to school and went in their classrooms and saw their work and did things together until the bell went.

Then we took off for the gym and to be quite honest we got to the door and I said "don't really wanna be here" and so hubby smiled and turned to go out and I said "No we are here now" we went towards the main room and OMG you could feel the enthusiasm NOT and so I said to him let's go and do the tone class OMG OMG WHY DID I SAY THAT.... Liz was doing the class and OMG she worked us like a dog and I did running and weights and sit ups and thighs and butts and calves and tummies ACTUALLY everything in my body hurts big time..... arghhhhhh.

Went shopping afterwards for food and then shopping for papers for more invitations to make for the wedding expo (which is getting toooooooo close) and then came home and painted my picture frames for the expo while hubby made such a yummy lunch. We made pasta bows with the kids yesterday so there was some left and we cooked it with shredded chicken and mushrooms and hmmmm what a lovely dinner.

Another recipe we tried today was the Weight Watchers Chilli con-carne from the Really Contented Tummy cookbook and it was done with gravy beef instead of mince and it was the yummiest chilli ever and the boys loved it too.

Picked up the kids from school and took them out for a fluffy and we had a coffee for lunch today it was nice relaxing and talking with them and Corbin was reading his book for a while soooo cute.

I have been good with food this week but with my monthly things don't look good for the scales. I am not quite getting it... and have been talking with Jeremy about it because I can't understand why I am not losing as I am not eating anything that I shouldn't and I have been having ok portions and not as big as normal and I have also been doing exercise.

Maybe my body is sooo used to what I am doing that I am not losing weight.. or maybe it is because I am contented at the moment and I like spending time on my business and not totally focussing on the food. I can't quite understand where I want to be focussing at the moment. I want to loose weight and I want to do my business but I can't seem to focus on them both... quite upset about it...

Quite a good day but went too fast aye....

Love ya all
Chubbymum

18 years Anniversary

As you can tell from the lack of updates I have been busy..... I am terrible at multi tasking. I am working on things for the expo and doing a fair bit of wine bottle labels and getting creative with those at the moment.

My friend Tania came over on Friday afternoon to show me the colours she has chosen for her half of the site and I was sooo pleased as I thought she would have gone for the pinks she has for her shop colours but she has gone with chocolate brown, champagne and a lovely green soooo nice and so it doesn't clash with my orange black and white either. She is also doing a bouquet to go with my colours for around my stuff as well. I am doing some table name plates and a bottle with a bottle label to go with her colours so we can mix and match it is going to be great. You should hear what she is doing for the table setting hmmmmmm can't wait but you will have to wait for the photos of the weekend to show you.

So that is what I have been concentrating on. I have also been doing ok with my food and thinking about what is going in my mouth too. Hubby and I have been taking note about the foods I am wanting at different times and we are trying to adjust to that.

Took hubby to my PT session on friday with Joy and OMG she worked us hard.... I get that every week but I don't think he realised what I did till he did it on Friday and he was sweating like a pig... IT WAS FANTASTIC and she showed us some sparring stuff we can do so we might do some at home too. Also lots to do with the thighs and the tummies and it was great to work out with hubby I enjoyed it a lot.

We came home and got a shower and tidyed up our bedroom (which doesn't happen often as the kids annoy us in the middle of it) so we did that and then went and brought a new vacuum cleaner. It was so nice to have him home on a week day and to be able to take and pick up the boys together...

Today is our anniversary (of sorts) we met each other 18 years ago today OMG has it gone fast or what. Hubby took me out to lunch at the cock and bull and we had a couple of wines and our dinner and talked and he said to me "so what ya doing for he next 18 years?" I said "Why who wants to know" he said "a scruffy man" and I looked in to the distance and said "who point him out" we laughed... I am more in love with my hubby now than I thought it could be... I wouldn't like to lose him at all... he is my SOUL MATE. We have been married 11 years (almost 12) but 18 years being together seems like it was only yesterday that we met.

Not many people are still together after this long and I know I am truly bleased to be with him. We hardly fight (but a good fight now and then keeps ya on your toes aye) and we have 2 great children...

The only 2 things that would make my life complete would be for my invite business to take off (or have a little shop doing it) and for my weight loss to still keep going down.

I have been calmer since not being with Weight Watchers... Hubby and I have gone back to working out our meals and trying to make them out of he WW books and really really trying to have more veges. I know I am not losing a heap of weight but I am not gaining it either and so we have to tweak things aye.

We are reading two books and incorporating them in our lives at the moment and that is Leenies Bible and also Downsize me book (by the trainer in the Downsize me show). She makes a lot of sense and we have started her training program today too and it isn't that hard. It is a little confusing to do a lot of different exercises but it isn't that bad.

I am trying out different breakfasts this week because if I had my way I would have 2 toast with either Jam or Peanut butter every day and that would be me and on the weekends I would have eggs and toast. So this week I am trying out Pear on toast (sounds strange to me but hey) and also Scrambled eggs with fetta and mushrooms (all out of the WW books), Muesli, Yoghurt and fruit (which I must say sounds really weird as I can't think of the worst combination) but I am trying my hardest to stop my mind from stopping me from not eating good things.

We went to the flea market in Hamilton on Saturday morning and it was nice to walk around and look at all the things. I only took $5 and as usual it was spent on the kids and brought them some socks for winter. The kids took $5 each from their pocket money and brought themselves a tamagotchi toy and some fake tattoos as well so they were happy. There were sooo many things they wanted but luckly they didn't take all their spending money.

Went to Tania's flower shop afterwards to help her with her computer OMG if anything happened to her hubby she wouldn't know a thing about what to do with their computer etc.... they both were soooo bad with knowing what password went with which program etc and he was the only one that sort of knew and he lives most of the time in Hokitika with his business GEESH having a business and not really being organised it is really bad.

I have been thinking about my friend Pam a lot lately and not sleeping that well really. I don't want what is happening to her and her ex to ever happen to me... dreaming about it too much I think... the arse wants half the food in the cupboards now (and to think he was our friend before knowing her) I didn't think he would ever do such a nasty thing.... she used her inheritance from her parents (they both died) to buy their house and a whole lot of things and now he wants half of everything he is an arse!!! without her he wouldn't have achieved anything and for 3 years she put him through University and she supported him and now this is what he does to her.

I told her that if there was anything she wanted out of the house so he didn't get then she is to put it at our place because he is slime and doesn't deserve anything.... his kids are beside themselves and poor Pam has no family whatsoever to lean on... well she has me as far as I am concerned.

Anyway enough babbling he he he... I should update more GEESH I am a slack person.

Love you all and thank you for your comments... I love ya all.

Chubbymum