Hissy Fit

Ok now that my hissy fit is over.

I have no excuse for the gain that will happen tonight... I am just unhappy because I really wanted this challenge to get my arse in to gear and I have fallen off after only two weeks.

I just wanted to be able to lose the 5 kilos in the 10 weeks ya know.. I wanted something to kick me off.

I guess I am bored!!! and that isn't an excuse either..

• I am bored with dieting.
• I am bored with tracking.
• I am tired of worrying about what I eat.
• I am tired of feeling like I have to constantly watch the scales.
• I tend to want food that I can't have even though I don't want it.
• I am soooooo tired of being a moaner.
• I wish there was a magic pill.
• I know I have to be realisitic and it isn't going to come off by magic.
• I am tired of feeling like I am losing a battle... and that others are soo more on to it than me.
• I hate feeling sorry for myself.
• I look back on the last year and I was crap at the losing weight.
• I DON'T want to give up but feel like I am going to.

What keeps me motivated? I am not sure!! and I suppose I have to find out what that is.

I think I am trying too many different things to lose the weight and not sticking to anything that things are going right.

I am finding now that when I do more exercise that I am wanting more food and I should be trying to eat good wholesome food but what I am grabbing for is bread.... bread.... and more bread.

I want to find something that I am comfortable with and that I can stick out more than 2 weeks.

I want it to feel normal and for it to feel that I am leading a normal life and not to think think think about it... and I know that for me to loose weight that I have to think about it.... can't win really.

I have this pit in my stomach and I don't want to go to Weight Watchers tonight!!! I feel like I am going through the motions but it isn't clicking with my head. I don't want to go to Weight Watchers only because I am spending money and really not getting anywhere fast...

I am not wanting to not go to Weight Watchers because of the leaders... because they are wonderful... but is Weight Watchers helping me? I feel like I am spending money to weigh in and I can weigh in and know what my weight is at home. I know what I should be doing... well I should after 2 years...

Tell me what you all think? Is it worth keeping on with Weight Watchers just because I adore the leaders? I stay for the meetings but am I listening or am I getting frustrated that all these wonderful ladies are losing this weight and what is their secret and I am doing FUCK all.

I have also found that I have been doing more exercise and I am not losing as well but I love doing the exercise... why is it that something you enjoy and that is supposed to be good for you isn't helping in the one thing you want.... and it is supposed to help with the weight loss.

I worked my butt off last year with exercise and triathlons, boot camps, tough guy/gal challenges and I didn't loose much weight... why grrrr??? because I can't figure it out! I can't work out if I am doing too much exercise and is this hindering my weight loss? Or am I not doing enough cardio? or weights?

I know that it isn't just exercise and that food is a big part but I am keeping within my points and varying my food... so the reason for it I just don't know.... I am getting myself in such a tizz about it..

It feels like one week on a high next week on a low... and HATE living my life like this.

I do know that all of you are going through the same thing and if there was a magic cure then you would be doing it as well....

Sometimes I feel like eating salad every meal and slowly I will lose the weight or doing the shake for breakfast lunch and dinner and then I wouldn't have to worry about what I am eating... or maybe stop eating altogther.

I know it is a head space thing!!! I do realise this!!! just how to get my head around it every week instead of feeling like I am bi-polar and one week I am high and the next just normal and then the next on this extreme low and not wanting to talk to anyone or see anyone or even get out of bed!

Chubbymum

Pissed!!!

You Are 28% Control Freak

You have achieved the perfect balance of control and letting go. You tend to roll with whatever life brings, but you never get complacent.

Are You A Control Freak?

Ok.. so I am pissed off with myself this weekend...

I ate too much.... I couldn't stop it!!!

Well I could but I didn't!!!

I didn't have any willpower...

I just felt hungry all weekend...

So I am going to gain this week and I HATE MYSELF FOR IT!!!

I am F**ken yoyoing and can't get under the 120's and cannot get to the 35 kilos!!!

I SUCK!!!

I don't have any excuse! I just want food food food...

Quite pissed off can you tell!!!

CM

First Soccer games for 2007 and Meeting up with Lee-Anne

I am sooo sooo proud of my sons today...

I went to Quinn's soccer game today and Hubby went to Corbin's...

It was Quinn's first ever soccer game and I was sooooo proud of him and his team because they had one half hour practice and that was it. I am proud no because of goals because they didn't get any... the other team got 12 though he he he...

I am proud because my little monkey Quinn tried his very best and he ran after the ball and he played well with his team mates and he was a little star. Even though he didn't get a goal he was right there trying.

At one stage I thought I was going to wet myself (actually two stages he he he)... First... the coach picked up Quinn and placed him in position and also did it with 2 other boys and then he said play... and Quinn stayed there he he he he stayed put and didn't move and the other boys were going after the ball... and the parents (us) were all laughing our heads off and screaming at Quinn... come on Quinn move move.. .and he looked at me and mouthed... "but the Coach put me here I can't move" and I started laughing and laughing. I know that you probably wouldn't think it was funny but I was sooo proud of him.

Look at him at the front there taking that ball... woooohoooo Quinny.

Hubby went to Corbin's game and in the middle of it the text he sent me was "C is on Fire... he is a champ". Apparently he almost got 3 goals... (now my little man is usually the supporting player where he is in the middle of it and always sends it to the one of the kids that he knows gets goals... but he was trying today to not be just that boy and to try and get a goals)... wow his Dad was sooo proud.

We came home and had lunch and then went out for a great walk with the boys and went to the school playground and while we were there we played soccer and I actually ran to get the ball off Corbin and we played teams etc it was sooo much fun. We treated the boys with and icecream and walked home and now we are just chilling he he he...

I have had a great day just being with my family and enjoying our time.

.........................................................................................................................................................

I didn't have time last night to update my blog about how GREAT and FUN my Friday night was.

We met Lee-anne at her hotel in town and had a glass of bubbly and then went to dinner at Lonestar and I had lots to drink (for me it is a lot because I don't drink that much he he he). The night was great and we didn't have a time where we didn't know what to say.

What a great man Lee-anne has and he seems to really adore her. It was really great to meet him and have a fun night. After dinner we all went to the casino for a little while to do a little bit of (losing money) he he he and then it was off home for us because of the soccer this morning...

Thank you Lee-anne and Colin for such a great night. I hope we can do it again sometime.

(from left to right) Hubby, Me, Colin, Lee-anneThe other two photos that hubby took, I had my eyes closed GEESH
Love Chubbymum

Gifted, Happy and Wonderful Children

OMG

Petrol prices and Mortgage rates going up BLOODY HELL!! What is wrong with this country.... it is going to be harder and harder for first home owners to ever afford a home and then they want everyone to stay at home as well because it is too expensive to drive anywhere too.

Today has been a really relaxing one.... took the boys to school and got roped in to doing Quinns class spelling testing and that was an eye opener for me because I had known that for a week Quinn had words to practice (geesh did I feel like a slack mum) but he managed to get 2 right and we didn't even practice so I felt quite proud really.

Got home at morning tea and then shut myself in to my study to work on another wedding invite and boy it took me a long time to do... I forgot to save geeshhhh and then my computer crashed GEESSHHHH. But it was good to be able to get some time without being bothered to do what I needed to do.

I had my heater on in the study because OMG it was like sooo cold today.

Tonight I am going to work on the wedding invites that I have to get done and so that is going to be cool to finally see a wedding getting started instead of doing all the thinking and planning... woohooo.

Had sushi for lunch again today yum yum yum and then once I finished that I met two other mums for a coffee and tried to work out what day and time we are going to meet as our lives have changed a bit in the last month since meeting up and holidays etc so it is going to be Thursday afternoons from now on (just before school gets out).

One of the ladies was saying that she is off in June for 5 weeks in Italy with her family and the 16 year old girl from next door (as she babysits the kids ) OMG I wish it was me going he he he. They are going first class etc... they own a business and put everything through their Visa etc so it gets them air points and that is how they paid for the tickets and then paid a little extra to be in first class... Oh I wish I was that rich!!! I wish that we could go on holidays like that but I cannot see it in the forseable future because we just don't save ho hum.

Picked up the boys and came back and did the homework and then hubby and I were off to parent interviews..

OMG I am sooo proud of my boys.... Corbin's teacher just thinks he is the bees knees and she said she has never met a boy like him and how he comes up with the most amazing facts and that he is such a sponge and she loves teaching him and has made sure she pushes him and she said (quite funny how she said it... it was sort of casual like) oh and btw he is in the gate program and I said "what is the gate program" she said he is officially been tested and he is a gifted child. I said "you are joking" and she said "NO he is a brilliant and clever little boy" now I was only thinking mothers thought this and I thought he was brilliant but now I have been told he has been tested as brilliant... woohoo for him.

I am glad that she pushes him because he is like his Dad in the fact that he is bright but doesn't push themselves and he just does what he is told but what get out of his square and she said she wasn't going to let him do that.

So we got out of there being very very very proud children.

Then we went to Quinn's room and he got a glowing report too and when he first started he was tested and it was normal but then this week he was tested and he had improved in a HUGE way and she was really happy with his progress... Quinn's teacher doesn't speak much but she is happy with his progress. Quinn is in the middle of his class ( just like I was he he he) and she said he is a pleasure to teach. She had only great things to say about him and so I was happy about that.

I got out and went to the car with hubby and cried... I know I know but I was sooo proud of my boys but then I was upset with myself because I didn't try as hard with Quinn (being the second child and I didn't have the one on one time with him) and I know that he could be just like Corbin and be top of the class if I didn't push him aside and if I worked harder with him he would be...

I don't want to sound unhappy but I look back at how I didn't put as much time and I don't want him to be disadvantaged just because I was too lazy to spend the same time. I was always average at school and my parents left school at 13 so they didn't know much about anything that I was learning. I don't want them to be disadvantaged... I want them to be anything they want even if it is a checkout operator or a mechanic or a policeman or a doctor... I want them to have as much of advantage to be anything that they wish to be to make their lifes happy...

So I am going to try to make them think more from now on and not just take yes and no and say "why do you think that' or "how did you come to that conclusion" etc.

I don't want to push them... I just want to make sure that they don't feel like I have not put enough time with them... does that make sense.

I love my boys and want them to be well rounded.

So anyway...

Food has been ok today... not wonderful and I haven't had my water because I got caught up in everything else and didn't actually think about getting a bottle of water GRRRRR naughty me.

Food:

Breakfast: 2 Toast
Lunch: Pork Chop (left over from other night don't want to waste it he he) and Toast
Dinner: Chicken, salad, veges
Snack: Small packet of chippies

Today is Anzac day... I cannot say it affects me too much but not that I don't care just that I haven't had anyone in my family that went through it.

So we had a day off work today and it was quite a family day. We got up at about 8am and went downstairs and had a family breakfast. It was nice to all sit down and have breakfast together because usually I am off as soon as finishing breakfast and my youngest is just getting up and the oldest has breakfast before I get down during the week.

Went and had a shower and then all of us went for a walk so I could get sushi for lunch it was a great walk and the weather was beautiful we all had a great time. When we got back I had my sushi and the others had tuna sandwiches.

We went to the building depot today to get stuff for my Wedding expo stall so that is going to be interesting getting it all together. I didn't spend too much so that is a bonus as well.

Got home and fixed up the study so that tomorrow I can sit and start a wedding that has booked.

It was then a the time to go down to the soccer field to go to Corbin's soccer practice. What a difference this year with the practices and the coach is doing so much better and not doing so much running and pressups and trying more with the techniques. I enjoyed watching how interested they were in the practice today and not getting frustrated with the coach making them do push ups ya know.

I am just rambling today.... I weighed myself today at home grrrrrr (and as usual the day after WW weigh in I am lighter grrrrr). I was 121.1 (at WW it would be 120.3 grrrrr does that not rip your nighty... I know it does mine he he).

I must say OMG I feel skinny today. I woke up feeling lighter and I feel slimmer and loved looking at myself in the mirror. I know that I haven't lost that much but OMG I felt great today. So I am going to take that as much as I can!!!

Hubby's mum went to soccer today to watch the practice and then came back for dinner and then we played Monopoly with the kids it was great.... now glad that the boys are in bed and I can relax.

Anyway not sure what else to say tonight so I am going to go.

Love ya all.
Chubbymum

First Weigh in for 10 week challenge

OK I went to my first Challenge weigh in tonight and...

I lost 300 grams but I am SOOOOO happy with that because I had a huge loss last week (even though WW said it was a gain) so 300 grams after 2.1 loss last week.

So hey it is 300 grams and I wanted it to be 500 grams a week but..... I have lost. I feel soooo happy about it and I feel more alive in the last couple of weeks being back on track but allowing myself treats and also not stressing about the food. I am doing a little bit of everything.... and thinking about what I am eating and when I REALLY want to eat so it is great.

Can you tell I feel good. Celtic Girl, Abba and Chrish come on girls your turn next... show us your wonderful losses etc this week. I know you can ALL do it and we will do it and if not this week then there are 9 more to go ya know... Just that we are all trying and that is the main thing aye.

I am trying to update this and watch Dancing with the stars at the moment. I want to learn how to salsa etc when I lose a little more weight.....

Ok this week is going to be a doozyyyy I am going to get more weight off and it is going to happen and as long as in 10 weeks I lose 5 kilos then I will be happy.

I am back feeling better about exercise and not scared to do anything for fear of my back. I still have to be careful for a couple of weeks but I am going to go back to Kickboxing class on Monday night. I can't wait... I keep on getting people ask when I am coming back so hey... have to go aye he he he.

I am off for the rest of the week now woohoooo. Tomorrow is Anzac day and hubby and I are off and we are going to go for a bike ride or walk with the kids and take the soccer ball and teach Quinn what dribbling is all about he he he.

Thank you for all the lovely comments yesterday and THANK YOU Lyn I will take all that on board and get my backside in order and OMG why the hell aren't you living in Hamilton he he he.

I don't know what to say about my day today really. It was all work and that is that! Bit of a boring one he he he

Also like to say WELCOME to all my new readers OMG I have had an influx of them in the last week... there is about 8 new people... come and comment and say to hi to everyone.

Love Chubbymum

Pressure

Just venting ok... not that I feel I can't do this...

Feeling quite pressured today... I think I am getting more and more nervous about the wedding expo. I want it to be done right and sometimes I can be such a perfectionist that I give up when I feel like I couldn't do it the way I have envisioned it... ya know?

I have to do so much before it as I am not willing to go into the expo and it not be perfect.. but where to start? I mean I have never had a stall.. so I have to organise the following and more:

1. a banner to say what I am trying to sell etc
2. I am going to get some orange material from somewhere as I want my colours to be up there and looking good. (my colours are orange black and white).
3. I am doing some labels on some bottles so that the bottles put a bit of depth into the stall because I have flat invites come on how exciting can you make them.
4. I have been checking out where to get t-shirts printed for me and hubby so that I have the logo and website on them.
5. My friend has the flower shop so she will have flowers on her side.
6. I am going to do a scrapbook on my invites for people to look at and I have to also try and put up some on the walls etc so that people can see the different ways to do their invites.

I am not too sure what else to do or how to display them... so if there are any suggestions out there feel free to help me out he he he

I just want it to be right and it to attract people to have me do their invitations.

Felt really hungry today... I just wanted to eat eat eat.

It was Quinn's first soccer practice today... he was sooo cute in his little outfit. The shorts are way too big because they are the smallest you can get and they were still too big he he my little monkey.

He didn't want to participate that much at the start today because he didn't know any of the kids. After about 15 minutes he was fully in to it and when they had a game he went for the ball and he tried sooo hard... I was sooooo proud of him. Quinn went all out it was fantastic.

I thought I would put some photos on here to show you how cute my little man is (he is only 5). His first game is on Saturday and it is going to be really interesting to watch.

It is interesting how kids think... there was one boy (and his mum said he is an only child and getting him in to soccer is a way to teach him to be a team player) and then just as she said that... they split the team up to play against each other and this boy got REALLY angry when the other team player boy got a goal... he went at him like an animal and tried to scratch him OMG it was the weirdest thing and the funny thing was that the boy that got the goal was a really shy boy and got really upset at being chased around like he was a nasty vermon...

All us parents couldn't believe what we were seeing. The shy boy came running to his mum and the mum that had the child being mean was telling him off and telling him he was in trouble and that he had to apologise (but the little boy wasn't going to) in the end I got them both together to tell them that they were really on the same team etc.. the shy boy didn't want to talk (not suprising actually) but in the end they played at the playground together and it seemed better...

Quite freaky really... I couldn't believe my eyes and I was PROUD that my son was playing well and playing fair... sooooo Proud!!!

Ok... I will go now.

I have my weigh in tomorrow but I don't know if I want to weigh in or not. My WW leaders are away this week and when they get a replacement for them it just isn't the same and it sucks really. ;-(

Food:

Breakfast: Weetbix, Milk and Fejoas
Lunch: 1 potatoe cut in half and stuffed with tuna and onion (stuffed potatoes)
Dinner: Steak, mashed potatoe, carrots, brussel sprouts
Snack: V
Water: 2 Bottles