Cow how rude can she be!!!

I want to bitch in this entry... so sorry about this.

I had an ok day today... and it went alright as the hubby and kids were outside doing things and I got to just be which was nice.

My mother in law asked us for dinner which was nice apart from the fact that she hasn't asked us over for dinner in over a year and a half (now this is where I get bitchy) since her younger son left for Europe... get the drift. I feel sorry for my husband sometimes and he doesn't see it. My MIL treats them differently and maybe she doesn't mean to but she does. This is what pisses me off because hubby is the one that does all the fixing around the place for her and his brother doesn't. I hope that I don't do that with our two boys that is for sure...

Well that isn't all I am pissed off with the whole night sucked!!!!! First she said come over and she will get some pizza well I can't have that without my diet going out the window so hubby told her that I was going to WW and so she said we could go to KFC and get a chicken salad OHHH YAYYY (would have rather stayed home for the yummy dinner we planned)if that wasn't worse I got there and in an awful silence she said "So you are on Weight Watchers I am glad as I was getting worried" yeah it sounds nice but OMG I have always been a big person around my hubby and in the last 2 years I have only put on 2 kilos so it isn't like I have been gaining and gaining.

Then we went and got our god awful salad from KFC. Got back and she started to tell me to drink more of her special drink (which she said wouldn't have too many calories in it). OMG I felt like that was the last straw and I looked at hubby and he said "she drinks a lot of water during the day and we noticed that if we don't drink after 6pm then I don't go to the toilet all night he he" (Hubby couldn't believe that she was so insensitive)

Well if you thought that was it!!! NO it is not I tell you!!!!

We brought her for Christmas (now we put a lot of thought into it because she isn't a material person at all.. very plain and hard to buy for) but we brought her a plain mirror to do up with her mosaic tiles. We brought the tiles and the mirror (lovely oval one) and the paste stuff etc... and she said today... "I have planned out the mirror today!" I felt good as I couldn't wait to see it up in her house... then she said I also have a deadline for it to be finished... Sept she says SEPTEMBER SEPTEMEBER... now we know what happens in September and her precious younger son comes from overseas... OMG we brought her the F(*&en present and she is making the mirror for him about his travels overseas. What a rude f(&8en bitch!!!
How can she think that would make us happy. I finally find a present for the darn bleep bleep woman as she is the hardest person to buy for and she is making if for the other son. I get so angry about this can you tell!!! Can you tell!!!

Am I being a cow? I hope so because she has made me so angry you wouldn't believe and this weight thing has gone off to the wayside for today.

I can't get off this subject and certainly can't think about my weight loss today. I can't believe that someone can be so insensitive can you? I don't know if I could ever say it to her face even though I would like to.

Anyway I am going to bed now.

Chubbymum

Hurtful people.....

I want to write in here tonight but have been sitting here thinking what on earth can I talk about.

Do you ever get the feeling that you have been naughty but really you haven't. I think I have lost enthusiasm for dieting... I know I know it is a life style change but sometimes I don't want to think about what every bite going into my mouth is. I mean even drinks you have to think about.
I was a little naughty today but I incorporated them into my tracking. I had 2 mallow puff (chocy biscuits). I know I shouldn't have but it has been since 16 December that I decided to change the lifestyle... but I just had to have something sweet today that didn't taste like "sweetener"
Why have I lost my spirit with this lifestyle change? I know I want to loose weight I know that it is good for me and that my husband and kids will benefit but I am not into it this week. I will I know get back into it. I have been reading other peoples diary's and they go through the same thing so it is normal at least.

Do you ever read other peoples diary's and think... I wish I could sound so intelligent and on to it as they do. They have such interesting things to say and I can only come up with what I have not eaten or binge on... GEESH sometimes it can get so frustrating.

I don't know why but I don't want to go for a walk... it is like staring me in the face "go do some exercise! go get out and have a walk"! I enjoy Kick boxing (Taebo) at the gym and don't really want to do anything else... but I know that if I did walking as well then that would help me even faster. I just get this little voice saying don't go it is too much and people will stare as you are so big. Normally it doesn't worry me and when I am with my husband I don't care because I am loved no matter what... but when I go walking just for walking I don't feel that I have the right too.

Last time I started on my journey to slimsville I was walking around the lake and feeling really good about myself I was pushing my son in his pram and these young boys (in a car (cowards)) and shouted out the window while driving past. It sounded like something to do with hey fatty or something like that... since then I just don't want to go out. I know it is their problem but that is what people are like and I don't want to go through that again... I can't!!! it took me off my weight loss journey and has taken 2 years to get myself back on to it again.

I also know that I can do things on a video at home but don't ever seem to finish the video etc.
I know I sound like a silly little girl being scared of people like that.. but I got home and cried and cried and cried as it really hurt me deep down. Until now I didn't realise how much it hurt me.

Anyway I am going now

BYE!!
Chubby Mum

A break now and then!

I read other peoples diaries and I sit here thinking I am not as knowledgeable as them. I feel like I know nothing and I know my spelling is really bad too.

It is a long weekend here this weekend and my mum (who lives with us now that Dad has died)is going away for the weekend to her friends. It will be good in a way for me and my husband and boys to have time to us. I will miss her heaps and sometimes I get the feeling that she thinks I want her to go but it isn't that. It is just that most people can have their husband and kids and not have their mother telling you how to do things and how you should raise your children every single day.

Sometimes we need the break and I don't think she understands that. I wouldn't want to not have her living with us but would like a break now and then to feel like this is my family and not that we are living with her... does that make any sense?

Been an ok day today!

I went to my kick boxing class tonight but found out during the long weekend our Monday class isn't on OMG that sucks really bad... I have finally got into a routine and grrr.

Plus my BLONDE friend can't go next week as she has a work dinner on so that makes next week so frustrating. I thought that it would be an interesting weigh in just to see how much the kick boxing is helping me anyway. So we shall see.

I know that most of you won't want to read the next bit but did anyone else find when they started eating better that they went to the toilet more (if you know what I mean) just feels like I am more regular than I used to be he he he... really strange I know but maybe I am doing the right thing after all huh?

Wish that Weight Watchers would bring their magazine out more than once a month or between two months what ever it does.. I would love to buy more as they keep me going. Anyway... that isn't going to happen but thought I would say it here.

Anyway gotta go now... getting really late and I am a tired little pixie.

See ya
Chubby Mum

Going to do it! Feeling Positive

I didn't even add an entry yesterday!!! I was reading all my favourite diaries and forgot ARGGHHHH.

Life yesterday was great! I went out to get my goal reward of a pair of pretty shoes... he he he.. I didn't want to spend a lot as it was only a mini goal and not the 10 kilo thing or whatever... but I found this shoes (summer ones) that were just cute and the ticket said $13 and they had a sale and I got them for $10 so that wasn't bad. I was quite proud of that. Hubby said that he would paint my toenails so that would look pretty and so that was an extra incentive to get more weight off if he would do lovely things like that he he he.

I can't believe how much only 2.7 kilos can make me feel about myself. I can't wait to loose more that is for sure. I felt it in my clothes a little today... I didn't stick out in front as much as I usually do... but I don't know if that was my imagination or what... but anyway if it is making me think positive things that hey that is GREAT!

I couldn't wait to come in and tell a work mate this morning. She is in her late 50's I would say and she is trying to loose weight too and started about the same time as me and doing well. So it was good to tell her and get a positive reaction back.

In my mind you would have thought that I lost like 50 kilos he he he as I feel so good. I am not really thinking too much on the fact that I am on the D word just that I am loosing weight.. I don't know if that makes sense or not but if I think of it as the D word then it changes everything and my mind doesn't like that.

I am going to be down to 100 kilos by the end of the year... yeah yeah I know that is being maybe unrealistic but if I can get close to it then I would be over the moon too.

Hubby and I are planning a trip away for our 10 year wedding anniversary and DAMN if I am going to have to ask for an extension for the seat in the plane!!! I am NOT so that is another incentive... plus by Xmas I want to be able to go and buy a push bike and do some biking around the place with hubby and the kids.. I have to do this!!! I have to!

When I get down to about 120 kilos then hubby and I are going on the 4 wheel quad bikes in the country with those people that organise trips... I have to do this too! I have always wanted to do it but been too scared... but that is another incentive.

Anyway I have babbled enough for now.. you might see me on this afternoon he he he

Ciao for now
Chubby Mum

Wohooooo

Thank you all for the notes you have left... you don't know how much I appreciate it and how much it keeps me going. Without the messages I think I would have given up the journal.
Now for the news.... well it was good. I lost 2.3 kilos this week (5.08 pounds) I am soooo happy because I really tried these last two weeks and last weeks 400 grams really made me really unhappy. I really did work hard last week and I wasn't happy with the loss.
So you wouldn't believe how relieved I was after the weigh in... I listened more and I was like on a high as I now know that all my hard work was worth it. Some people might think that I didn't keep to it the first week but I did!!!! and that was the reason I was angry and sometimes the scales just aren't true.

My BLONDE friend didn't loose she stayed the same but she cheated 3 nights that week... OMG she had 3 nights dinners at our place so the rest of the week she wasn't good... naughty naughty... She only has 10 kilos to loose and I have 79 so I suppose she has room for mistakes.
What an energy I feel!!!! I can't even put it in words.

Anyway it is 10.30 at night and I am tired... I will write some more tomorrow.

You all have a wonderful night...
Chubby Mum

Not long till weigh in tonight

Well it is 8.30am on Tuesday (MY WEIGH IN DAY) I am really nervous about tonight.. I am feeling good and feeling like I am doing well... but hey I felt like that last week and I didn't loose as much as I wanted.

I want to be positive and think that I have lost weight but I am scared to do that as well as I don't want to be upset with what the scales say...

Have you ever thought that maybe they rig the scales he he he he so they keep getting money so you don't get to goal just yet so they get more out of ya he he he. I know I know that isn't true and I don't think that WW would do that but sometimes it feels like a scam that we can do so much during the week and really stick to their plan and then you only loose a little.
Now I have to stop thinking like that!

My day today is going to be a long one. In 20 minutes I have to start work upstairs. (I am down in the labs using the computers because if I go upstairs to my office I will get hounded by people he he he)

Well I have other emails and diaries to read before I go to work... so byeee

Chubby Mum

2nd weigh in tomorrow.

Well my day hmmmmmm

I can't say that I have had an exciting day. I did go and do my kick boxing (Taebo) as some say. I felt soooo good afterwards. I can't say that I felt good while I was doing it that is for sure. But I felt energised and sweaty ewwwww.

I have been missing getting emails on our support group lately... people are emailing but not as much as they used to.

Tomorrow is my weigh in day and I am really nervous about it. I have been good... but I can say not as strict as last week and I only lost that mere 400 grams... but hey we can only but hope.
Sorry it is short and sweet tonight.. I will write again tomorrow but the kickboxing has taken it out of me tonight...nighty night everyone.

Thanks for reading
Chubbymum