This is my last post!
Good bye
Chubbymum
CHUBBYMUM Time to "MAKE MYSELF MY HOBBY" - From 2005 to 2008 I lost 42 kgs and things went wrong in my life with my mum and work and went in to major depression. I am trying my hardest to get back in to it and doing it for me. Going to "Make Myself My Hobby".
Thursday, 30 March 2006
Scared for you to read this post
Ok... I am going to be honest on here.....
I am really happy that Kris will be joining my weight watcher meeting from this Tuesday and I am happy (I suggested that she joins). I suggested that she joins because she is going through a tough time and personally I don't think she is getting the support she needs at her meeting. Mind you she needs to do this for herself as we can suggest and suggest but until she sorts out her food then it will not happen.
I am glad she is coming to WW please believe me but I am a little worried now after thinking about it too.
Now this is going to maybe (maybe) sound selfish but this is the only way I can think of to get my feelings out. I have been losing since not telling my weight because it hasn't been a competition (in my mind) and Kris can lose weight faster than me and it puts me all out of wack having her lose that fast... now I am glad she is losing the weight I don't think that is the problem as she deserves to lose the weight but the problem is that I get upset when I do the same and watch my food really closely and I don't lose it as fast as her.
I know that steady wins the race and for me it has been steady and I am losing and not gaining and that is fantastic... I am so much calmer and happier since sorting my feelings and my routine out and keeping my weight loss to me. So it is going to be a challenge for her to be there at the meeting and there is no way that she won't know how much I lose because when I get the stickers for every 5 kilos and when I do they tend to ask how much altogether so she will get to know how much in total I have lost. Also my leaders are so supportive that they always ask how the week went and how much I lost and if I gain then they suggest things and they talk to me like they have known me for years and they are priming me to be a leader (and I would like to do that one day) I just have to get my head around it... I am the one that asked Kris to come and I would love her to be there.... now.... there is another thing I am worried about.
Kris and I had a talk last week because I felt quite upset when she had said that she was doing the gym with another lady (on her blog) and she hadn't said to me that she was still doing it with me.
I got quite upset about the fact that we have been doing exercise with each other for almost a year and she would just go and change her plans and go with a lady that she sees at WW and leave me out... Kris said that she was assuming I would be doing it with them and never thought like that and that made me feel better but this jealousy thing was happening (with me) re this other lady because I enjoy going with Kris to the gym and I enjoy spending time with her as a friend.... and sometimes when there is three doing exercise ..... it just isn't the same. I do feel left out or like I am not good enough for her anymore... or like a disgarded piece of equipment.
I cannot say this to Kris to her face only because I am not the sort of person that can do that to her face as it is a bit embarrasing and the words just don't come out (and that is my problem) but I am still feeling left out (which I have to deal with). I really wish she was doing this event training with me... I miss her doing it with me and I miss our friendship while doing it. I am doing well in the training and I am enjoying doing it with the ladies there but I miss feeling like there was someone there that knew what I was going through and not always feeling like I am the only person there that goes slower. The ladies at the L.E.A.N class are fantastic and really supportive but it just isn't the same.
I haven't had a friend like this in ages and I am missing it and maybe I am feeling like maybe I should get off my backside and go and do some hobbies to meet new people or something.. hmmm might be something I can do in the next month. I need to find some more friends because it just isn't good feeling like this.
OMG... I feel like a teenager again.
So... anyway went to L.E.A.N event training today and pushed myself with the walking and jogging and Joy said to me when I got back to base that she has been watching me run and that I am a natural and my jog is straight and in time... she said a lot of people just can't get it but she feels that I am a natural runner... he he he he can't say that I feel that way at all at the moment. Feels like my tummy is going from side to side he he he. I worked so hard today that my calves are sore. We did so much training for the walking and running and the girls were talking about the dinner after the final event and it is going to be so much fun.
Got back and took Corbin to school and then Quinn and I went for a 3km bike ride... it was good to get out with him but a bit slow he he he. We are looking at a new bike for him this weekend as he needs a bigger one as he is going like a speedy consalis just to keep up with us as the wheels are soooo tiny.
Ok... now that I feel like a bitch for writing in here instead of facing my problems.... I will go and have lunch with hubby.
Love ya all.
Thanks for listening to my childish rambling.
Chubbymum
I am really happy that Kris will be joining my weight watcher meeting from this Tuesday and I am happy (I suggested that she joins). I suggested that she joins because she is going through a tough time and personally I don't think she is getting the support she needs at her meeting. Mind you she needs to do this for herself as we can suggest and suggest but until she sorts out her food then it will not happen.
I am glad she is coming to WW please believe me but I am a little worried now after thinking about it too.
Now this is going to maybe (maybe) sound selfish but this is the only way I can think of to get my feelings out. I have been losing since not telling my weight because it hasn't been a competition (in my mind) and Kris can lose weight faster than me and it puts me all out of wack having her lose that fast... now I am glad she is losing the weight I don't think that is the problem as she deserves to lose the weight but the problem is that I get upset when I do the same and watch my food really closely and I don't lose it as fast as her.
I know that steady wins the race and for me it has been steady and I am losing and not gaining and that is fantastic... I am so much calmer and happier since sorting my feelings and my routine out and keeping my weight loss to me. So it is going to be a challenge for her to be there at the meeting and there is no way that she won't know how much I lose because when I get the stickers for every 5 kilos and when I do they tend to ask how much altogether so she will get to know how much in total I have lost. Also my leaders are so supportive that they always ask how the week went and how much I lost and if I gain then they suggest things and they talk to me like they have known me for years and they are priming me to be a leader (and I would like to do that one day) I just have to get my head around it... I am the one that asked Kris to come and I would love her to be there.... now.... there is another thing I am worried about.
Kris and I had a talk last week because I felt quite upset when she had said that she was doing the gym with another lady (on her blog) and she hadn't said to me that she was still doing it with me.
I got quite upset about the fact that we have been doing exercise with each other for almost a year and she would just go and change her plans and go with a lady that she sees at WW and leave me out... Kris said that she was assuming I would be doing it with them and never thought like that and that made me feel better but this jealousy thing was happening (with me) re this other lady because I enjoy going with Kris to the gym and I enjoy spending time with her as a friend.... and sometimes when there is three doing exercise ..... it just isn't the same. I do feel left out or like I am not good enough for her anymore... or like a disgarded piece of equipment.
I cannot say this to Kris to her face only because I am not the sort of person that can do that to her face as it is a bit embarrasing and the words just don't come out (and that is my problem) but I am still feeling left out (which I have to deal with). I really wish she was doing this event training with me... I miss her doing it with me and I miss our friendship while doing it. I am doing well in the training and I am enjoying doing it with the ladies there but I miss feeling like there was someone there that knew what I was going through and not always feeling like I am the only person there that goes slower. The ladies at the L.E.A.N class are fantastic and really supportive but it just isn't the same.
I haven't had a friend like this in ages and I am missing it and maybe I am feeling like maybe I should get off my backside and go and do some hobbies to meet new people or something.. hmmm might be something I can do in the next month. I need to find some more friends because it just isn't good feeling like this.
OMG... I feel like a teenager again.
So... anyway went to L.E.A.N event training today and pushed myself with the walking and jogging and Joy said to me when I got back to base that she has been watching me run and that I am a natural and my jog is straight and in time... she said a lot of people just can't get it but she feels that I am a natural runner... he he he he can't say that I feel that way at all at the moment. Feels like my tummy is going from side to side he he he. I worked so hard today that my calves are sore. We did so much training for the walking and running and the girls were talking about the dinner after the final event and it is going to be so much fun.
Got back and took Corbin to school and then Quinn and I went for a 3km bike ride... it was good to get out with him but a bit slow he he he. We are looking at a new bike for him this weekend as he needs a bigger one as he is going like a speedy consalis just to keep up with us as the wheels are soooo tiny.
Ok... now that I feel like a bitch for writing in here instead of facing my problems.... I will go and have lunch with hubby.
Love ya all.
Thanks for listening to my childish rambling.
Chubbymum
Tuesday, 28 March 2006
I am in the zone
I am in the zone... that is how I feel today.
Today has gone so fast.
Started off with going to the Event training L.E.A.N and it was fantastic and I felt like I achieved. I am doing this guys... I am doing this....
A year ago I started on the treadmill and the speed was at 4.2 and I was struggling. In the past year I have gotten up to 5.0 with 2.5 incline and that was just getting comfortable.
Well today Crusher (my trainer) was going to start me on learning how to jog on the treadmill. OMG I was freaking out when she said that because I am scared that I am going to freak out while running and can't change it back to a walk fast enough he he he and fall off the end he he he....
so she started me off slowly today and said that by next week she wants me to be able to walk up to 6.0 and so today I thought.... I am the only one stopping me and I did 6.0 for 1 minute (at 2.5 incline) and then went back to 5.2 for 1 minute and kept that going for 15 minutes. OMG I was sweating like you wouldn't believe.
The bunch of ladies in the L.E.A.N were so supportive today. I said something about how am I going to do this and one lady said "I am going to help you!" then another lady said "when she isn't helping you I will help you and then another lady said the same thing... OMG what a wonderful bunch of ladies to support me like that when they are there to improve themselves but still find time to help me out too.
I am going to do this event wohooo I know I keep saying I feel fantastic but I DO because I finally have an exercise goal and ways to achieve it and it is keeping me going. I plan my walking after work and weekends and time myself and push myself and I think I am FINALLY getting it... that I need to do this and the more I am excited about it the more I push myself the better I get....
Yeah I know... everyone knows if you do that it will happen but until the light bulb goes on then nothing can happen and you can't push it to happen.
I thought that I would gain tonight at weigh in but I lost... OMG I said to wendy (the weigher) "don't tell me I have lost" she said "you sound like you don't want to lose" I said "no it isn't that it is because I haven't truly tracked this week and I have done a lot of exercise and I usually gain when I overdo the exercise" my WW Leader said "don't say usually! because your body changes all the time".
Hubby said that he thinks I have just gotten it under control now with the food and exercise and I can have little treats and it doesn't affect me that much. I am not losing weight fast but I am still losing so that is what counts with me. If it takes 10 years to lose the weight then that is what is going to happen.
I am having so many compliments lately and I even got one tonight from my weigher... she said a lady that I used to know (from WW and from when my son went to playcentre) she saw me walking in the weekend and thought I looked fantastic and if Wendy saw me would she tell me how great I looked.
OMG that just made my night and the fact that all the people behind me in the line heard too was a little bit of a buzz because a lot of them are new so they look at me and think I have just started this journey and don't realise how much I have really lost... so it was fantastic.
What a day! What a fantastic day!
Event training was the best, Weight Watchers was the best and also I had a meeting with the big wigs from Auckland at work tonight too for a fish and chip night (don't fear I didn't have fish and chips I decided to eat when I got home woohoo) and it happens that one of my bosses I know from Auckland when I used to live there. And the big boss from Australia and one from Auckland moved me into my new office and set up my computer (how down to earth is that, they didn't have to do that). We sat down with a couple of wines chatting and getting to know each other and I had a great time actually putting faces to names.
Ok enough of my great day... I am going to sit down and work out my plan for the week and what I am going to achieve this week.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
Today has gone so fast.
Started off with going to the Event training L.E.A.N and it was fantastic and I felt like I achieved. I am doing this guys... I am doing this....
A year ago I started on the treadmill and the speed was at 4.2 and I was struggling. In the past year I have gotten up to 5.0 with 2.5 incline and that was just getting comfortable.
Well today Crusher (my trainer) was going to start me on learning how to jog on the treadmill. OMG I was freaking out when she said that because I am scared that I am going to freak out while running and can't change it back to a walk fast enough he he he and fall off the end he he he....
so she started me off slowly today and said that by next week she wants me to be able to walk up to 6.0 and so today I thought.... I am the only one stopping me and I did 6.0 for 1 minute (at 2.5 incline) and then went back to 5.2 for 1 minute and kept that going for 15 minutes. OMG I was sweating like you wouldn't believe.
The bunch of ladies in the L.E.A.N were so supportive today. I said something about how am I going to do this and one lady said "I am going to help you!" then another lady said "when she isn't helping you I will help you and then another lady said the same thing... OMG what a wonderful bunch of ladies to support me like that when they are there to improve themselves but still find time to help me out too.
I am going to do this event wohooo I know I keep saying I feel fantastic but I DO because I finally have an exercise goal and ways to achieve it and it is keeping me going. I plan my walking after work and weekends and time myself and push myself and I think I am FINALLY getting it... that I need to do this and the more I am excited about it the more I push myself the better I get....
Yeah I know... everyone knows if you do that it will happen but until the light bulb goes on then nothing can happen and you can't push it to happen.
I thought that I would gain tonight at weigh in but I lost... OMG I said to wendy (the weigher) "don't tell me I have lost" she said "you sound like you don't want to lose" I said "no it isn't that it is because I haven't truly tracked this week and I have done a lot of exercise and I usually gain when I overdo the exercise" my WW Leader said "don't say usually! because your body changes all the time".
Hubby said that he thinks I have just gotten it under control now with the food and exercise and I can have little treats and it doesn't affect me that much. I am not losing weight fast but I am still losing so that is what counts with me. If it takes 10 years to lose the weight then that is what is going to happen.
I am having so many compliments lately and I even got one tonight from my weigher... she said a lady that I used to know (from WW and from when my son went to playcentre) she saw me walking in the weekend and thought I looked fantastic and if Wendy saw me would she tell me how great I looked.
OMG that just made my night and the fact that all the people behind me in the line heard too was a little bit of a buzz because a lot of them are new so they look at me and think I have just started this journey and don't realise how much I have really lost... so it was fantastic.
What a day! What a fantastic day!
Event training was the best, Weight Watchers was the best and also I had a meeting with the big wigs from Auckland at work tonight too for a fish and chip night (don't fear I didn't have fish and chips I decided to eat when I got home woohoo) and it happens that one of my bosses I know from Auckland when I used to live there. And the big boss from Australia and one from Auckland moved me into my new office and set up my computer (how down to earth is that, they didn't have to do that). We sat down with a couple of wines chatting and getting to know each other and I had a great time actually putting faces to names.
Ok enough of my great day... I am going to sit down and work out my plan for the week and what I am going to achieve this week.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
Monday, 27 March 2006
Good Day
Had a good day today.
Boss and I talked heaps and got my new office half way sorted... still have to get the phone connected and the jetstream connected and then things will go off with bang he he he.
Enjoyed work and didn't leave till 5.15 when I was supposed to finish at 4.30.
I think I have so much more energy in the last week with all the walking I have been doing and I think it is because I am excited about a challenge.... It is scary thinking I am going to be walking 10km twice in one month but I hey if I achieve it what a thrill that is going to be.... plus getting to the finish line is what I am looking forward to. I am going to purchase some new sneakers in the next month as I have had my ones for a year now and use them every day so I am due for some new ones.
Ok the food hasn't been wonderful but I know I have to sort that out this week. I can't seem to balance my urge for more food when I am doing heaps of exercise... but I am starting to think about when the triggers happen etc
So excited about going to the L.E.A.N Event training tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a smaller group so that I can really take advantage of Joy's expertise. Tomorrow morning is going to be interesting that is for sure. In a way I am glad that Kris decided that it wasn't right for her, and is doing her own thing and going to the Beginners class because it is right for her and this is so right for me to challenge myself in what I want to do for a change as I am usually a follower and do what gets me to have company in exercise instead of doing it for me. But this is for me now and not because I wanted Kris for company (as I enjoy her company) but I can concentrate on doing this challenge and do it for me wohooo. Isn't lifestyle change an eye opener that you can do things by yourself and still enjoy it. I mean I used to think (last year) that I would enjoy exercise only if I had someone there with me but that isn't the case... exercise can be so exciting and fun and I think I get that now.
I think in the last week with the extra training by walking I have been concentrating on my muscles when I walk and focussing on how my body works under pressure has been such an eye opener for me. And I am enjoying it and buzzing he he he he.
Anyway I better buzz my way to watching Desperate housewifes he he he
Chubbymum
Boss and I talked heaps and got my new office half way sorted... still have to get the phone connected and the jetstream connected and then things will go off with bang he he he.
Enjoyed work and didn't leave till 5.15 when I was supposed to finish at 4.30.
I think I have so much more energy in the last week with all the walking I have been doing and I think it is because I am excited about a challenge.... It is scary thinking I am going to be walking 10km twice in one month but I hey if I achieve it what a thrill that is going to be.... plus getting to the finish line is what I am looking forward to. I am going to purchase some new sneakers in the next month as I have had my ones for a year now and use them every day so I am due for some new ones.
Ok the food hasn't been wonderful but I know I have to sort that out this week. I can't seem to balance my urge for more food when I am doing heaps of exercise... but I am starting to think about when the triggers happen etc
So excited about going to the L.E.A.N Event training tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a smaller group so that I can really take advantage of Joy's expertise. Tomorrow morning is going to be interesting that is for sure. In a way I am glad that Kris decided that it wasn't right for her, and is doing her own thing and going to the Beginners class because it is right for her and this is so right for me to challenge myself in what I want to do for a change as I am usually a follower and do what gets me to have company in exercise instead of doing it for me. But this is for me now and not because I wanted Kris for company (as I enjoy her company) but I can concentrate on doing this challenge and do it for me wohooo. Isn't lifestyle change an eye opener that you can do things by yourself and still enjoy it. I mean I used to think (last year) that I would enjoy exercise only if I had someone there with me but that isn't the case... exercise can be so exciting and fun and I think I get that now.
I think in the last week with the extra training by walking I have been concentrating on my muscles when I walk and focussing on how my body works under pressure has been such an eye opener for me. And I am enjoying it and buzzing he he he he.
Anyway I better buzz my way to watching Desperate housewifes he he he
Chubbymum
Sunday, 26 March 2006
Rainy day but fantastic day
I had a really great day today even though it rained.
I got a phone call from Jaxx this morning to say she was in Hamilton and would I like to meet up. OH YEAH I wanted to but reallllly scared to meet her. Only because I have been chatting to Jaxx for 4 years now on and off and meeting in person is always a hard thing. I felt so tongue tied he he he but had a most fantastic chat to her and I can tell you she is an interesting lady and loved getting to know her today. Thanks Jaxx for a great chat and coffee... we will have to do it again sometime (and next time I won't be so nervous he he he).
The rest of the day was doing my cards and reading magazines and watching the olympics and jet sprint boats and 4 wheel drive show it was a great afternoon. I haven't relaxed like that in a very very long time. My husband has put me forward for a craft fair in a couple of weeks and get a table to sell them so that should be interesting that is for sure. I sold 2 cards last night so all up 22 cards without actually going out and selling them he he he so spending money here I come he he.
I do feel that I am going to gain this week. I feel like I have been eating too much this week and not been tracking. But I am not too worried about it because tomorrow I am back on track again.
Oh well I better get the boys in bed now.
Have a great night
Chubbymum
I got a phone call from Jaxx this morning to say she was in Hamilton and would I like to meet up. OH YEAH I wanted to but reallllly scared to meet her. Only because I have been chatting to Jaxx for 4 years now on and off and meeting in person is always a hard thing. I felt so tongue tied he he he but had a most fantastic chat to her and I can tell you she is an interesting lady and loved getting to know her today. Thanks Jaxx for a great chat and coffee... we will have to do it again sometime (and next time I won't be so nervous he he he).
The rest of the day was doing my cards and reading magazines and watching the olympics and jet sprint boats and 4 wheel drive show it was a great afternoon. I haven't relaxed like that in a very very long time. My husband has put me forward for a craft fair in a couple of weeks and get a table to sell them so that should be interesting that is for sure. I sold 2 cards last night so all up 22 cards without actually going out and selling them he he he so spending money here I come he he.
I do feel that I am going to gain this week. I feel like I have been eating too much this week and not been tracking. But I am not too worried about it because tomorrow I am back on track again.
Oh well I better get the boys in bed now.
Have a great night
Chubbymum
Saturday, 25 March 2006
Training a blast
I am so proud of myself today!!
You will have to read to find out why he he.
Went to do groceries today and that took us an hour and it was good to get away from the kids for a while and spend time with hubby.
Had lunch when I came home and then I syked myself up to do a walk. I was supposed to go and do a walk of 4.5km today so that I could build up my training for the 10km. But I started and got to about 4km's then went to go home and thought NO I have more energy I think will keep going around and walk until I can't anymore.
I got almost home and felt quite dizzy but that was because I had finished my water and didn't have anymore but then about 5 seconds later I got like a second wind and a boost of energy and I cruised on home... so guess how many km's I did..
7.4 kilometres in 1 hour and 25 minutes. OK that is a long time but with practice before the Huntly Marathon I will do this. I cannot believe that I walked that far. I mean it is twice the km's than I have been doing and 40 minutes more in time but I can do this... I know I can and 6 weeks to achieve it. I am loving the challenge and striving for something and not just feeling like I am stuck in a rut doing the same old routine. I didn't realise until today how much I have improved.
Hubby at dinner took my hand and said "I am really proud of you!" I felt like crying when he said that tonight because it meant a lot to me that he said that.I have worked out a little training program so that I can achieve this and with the event training I reckon it is going to be good.
The L.E.A.N event training is going to be good too and when we do the walk etc afterwards we are all going out for dinner etc and spend some time with each other to congratulate each other. It will be good to go out with these ladies as they inspire me so much.
Got back and had a huge bath and shower and had dinner and I am now feeling the burn in my legs and arms he he he. I listened to my music while walking and boogying on down and singing (I think quite loud) and someone walked past me smiling... didn't realise they were behind me he he he oh dear... I was having fun he he he.
I have been feeling a lot hungrier lately that is for sure and I know because of doing more exercise but been craving more sweet stuff. I have to try and control that.Anyway I am going to watch the NZ netball in the commonwealth games now.
Chubbymum
You will have to read to find out why he he.
Went to do groceries today and that took us an hour and it was good to get away from the kids for a while and spend time with hubby.
Had lunch when I came home and then I syked myself up to do a walk. I was supposed to go and do a walk of 4.5km today so that I could build up my training for the 10km. But I started and got to about 4km's then went to go home and thought NO I have more energy I think will keep going around and walk until I can't anymore.
I got almost home and felt quite dizzy but that was because I had finished my water and didn't have anymore but then about 5 seconds later I got like a second wind and a boost of energy and I cruised on home... so guess how many km's I did..
7.4 kilometres in 1 hour and 25 minutes. OK that is a long time but with practice before the Huntly Marathon I will do this. I cannot believe that I walked that far. I mean it is twice the km's than I have been doing and 40 minutes more in time but I can do this... I know I can and 6 weeks to achieve it. I am loving the challenge and striving for something and not just feeling like I am stuck in a rut doing the same old routine. I didn't realise until today how much I have improved.
Hubby at dinner took my hand and said "I am really proud of you!" I felt like crying when he said that tonight because it meant a lot to me that he said that.I have worked out a little training program so that I can achieve this and with the event training I reckon it is going to be good.
The L.E.A.N event training is going to be good too and when we do the walk etc afterwards we are all going out for dinner etc and spend some time with each other to congratulate each other. It will be good to go out with these ladies as they inspire me so much.
Got back and had a huge bath and shower and had dinner and I am now feeling the burn in my legs and arms he he he. I listened to my music while walking and boogying on down and singing (I think quite loud) and someone walked past me smiling... didn't realise they were behind me he he he oh dear... I was having fun he he he.
I have been feeling a lot hungrier lately that is for sure and I know because of doing more exercise but been craving more sweet stuff. I have to try and control that.Anyway I am going to watch the NZ netball in the commonwealth games now.
Chubbymum
Thursday, 23 March 2006
OK...
I am only supposed to do 3 days a week and this week my boss from Auckland asked me to work Thursday to help out with a back log and I said yes because I wanted the money..... but I just had enough today.
So I went for a walk tonight at 5.50 to 6.30pm and I did 3.8 kilometres Wohoooooooo 800 metres (hill) and did it in 40 minutes. Sunday night I did 3 km's in 40 minutes. I was soooo happy that I achieved the 3.8 kms tonight I was on such a high when I got back... it got rid of my stress level too. I was boogying on down to my mp3 player he he he he. People must have thought that I was weird that is for sure he he he.
Anyway back to my day at work... I can't figure out my boss. (or ex boss) one minute she is confiding in me and the next time she is like not wanting me to know anything. I was in her office today until my office is sorted and she shut the doors to the room and said "can I have a bitch to you and can you be a sound board? because I know it won't go any further" OMG I was gobsmacked.... and of course I am not going to mention what it was here because I am not allowed to let it go further he he he but I felt privelidged that is for sure. But still confused as to whether she likes me or not because sometimes you just can't tell.
Today was another slap in the face for her because I don't even do my timesheets to her anymore and she has no say in what I do or how I do it. Wow it feels strange. I don't want to go to work and feel like I don't fit in either so I am struggling with the emotional side of this this week. I still answer the phones and help customers out because it just feels wrong for them to be ringing and for her to be out of her head with stress because she can do my old job and her Manager's job as well..... I mentioned that to her today and she said that I should not worry about it all because she will cope if she can and if she can't then they will certainly find out and something will be sorted.
Every Thursday in our L.E.A.N class they weigh and measure us and I lost on the scales (which wasn't suprising) but I had lost around my middle 3.6 centimetres woohooo I was sooo happy about that today. Oh so I did my lean class hour today and my walk. And a year ago I would have felt sooooo bad after that but I feel quite exhilerated by it.
The next L.E.A.N is event training and it is a 10 km walk. This 10 km walk is worrying me that is for sure. I want to do this but scared that I am pushing myself too much for the first marathon (walking). I am also doing the Huntly Marathon walk of 10km in the end of May. I am soooo scared, but I am not going to sit back and think what if... I am going to do this walk.. hey it is just a walk afterall and I am going to achieve something that is out of my comfort zone.... if I didn't challenge myself and do this then I will regret it and if I thought that before I went to the L.E.A.N course I wouldn't have done that either and I wouldn't be feeling as great as I am now.
Watching the Biggest Loser tonight 2nd season and it just motivates me so much. I would love LOVE to be on the New Zealand one.. (if they ever have one) that is for sure. I think of this event training as the same as being on The Biggest Loser... it is sooo out of my zone but I have to do it and there is no excuses and if I was on the show then I would have to do the challenges.
So I have to get up at 5.30am again tomorrow to do my Personal training session with Crusher and I am looking forward to it... it will be nice to do a one on one. I have to talk to her about how I can prepare for this Huntly Marathon. I wish I had a person that walked the same as me and same speed to go on the Marathon with... hubby said he would go with me but I don't think he really wants to go.... oh well.
Why am I so scared of doing this? It is consuming my thoughts at the moment hmmm.
Anyway that is me for the night.
Chubbymum
I am only supposed to do 3 days a week and this week my boss from Auckland asked me to work Thursday to help out with a back log and I said yes because I wanted the money..... but I just had enough today.
So I went for a walk tonight at 5.50 to 6.30pm and I did 3.8 kilometres Wohoooooooo 800 metres (hill) and did it in 40 minutes. Sunday night I did 3 km's in 40 minutes. I was soooo happy that I achieved the 3.8 kms tonight I was on such a high when I got back... it got rid of my stress level too. I was boogying on down to my mp3 player he he he he. People must have thought that I was weird that is for sure he he he.
Anyway back to my day at work... I can't figure out my boss. (or ex boss) one minute she is confiding in me and the next time she is like not wanting me to know anything. I was in her office today until my office is sorted and she shut the doors to the room and said "can I have a bitch to you and can you be a sound board? because I know it won't go any further" OMG I was gobsmacked.... and of course I am not going to mention what it was here because I am not allowed to let it go further he he he but I felt privelidged that is for sure. But still confused as to whether she likes me or not because sometimes you just can't tell.
Today was another slap in the face for her because I don't even do my timesheets to her anymore and she has no say in what I do or how I do it. Wow it feels strange. I don't want to go to work and feel like I don't fit in either so I am struggling with the emotional side of this this week. I still answer the phones and help customers out because it just feels wrong for them to be ringing and for her to be out of her head with stress because she can do my old job and her Manager's job as well..... I mentioned that to her today and she said that I should not worry about it all because she will cope if she can and if she can't then they will certainly find out and something will be sorted.
Every Thursday in our L.E.A.N class they weigh and measure us and I lost on the scales (which wasn't suprising) but I had lost around my middle 3.6 centimetres woohooo I was sooo happy about that today. Oh so I did my lean class hour today and my walk. And a year ago I would have felt sooooo bad after that but I feel quite exhilerated by it.
The next L.E.A.N is event training and it is a 10 km walk. This 10 km walk is worrying me that is for sure. I want to do this but scared that I am pushing myself too much for the first marathon (walking). I am also doing the Huntly Marathon walk of 10km in the end of May. I am soooo scared, but I am not going to sit back and think what if... I am going to do this walk.. hey it is just a walk afterall and I am going to achieve something that is out of my comfort zone.... if I didn't challenge myself and do this then I will regret it and if I thought that before I went to the L.E.A.N course I wouldn't have done that either and I wouldn't be feeling as great as I am now.
Watching the Biggest Loser tonight 2nd season and it just motivates me so much. I would love LOVE to be on the New Zealand one.. (if they ever have one) that is for sure. I think of this event training as the same as being on The Biggest Loser... it is sooo out of my zone but I have to do it and there is no excuses and if I was on the show then I would have to do the challenges.
So I have to get up at 5.30am again tomorrow to do my Personal training session with Crusher and I am looking forward to it... it will be nice to do a one on one. I have to talk to her about how I can prepare for this Huntly Marathon. I wish I had a person that walked the same as me and same speed to go on the Marathon with... hubby said he would go with me but I don't think he really wants to go.... oh well.
Why am I so scared of doing this? It is consuming my thoughts at the moment hmmm.
Anyway that is me for the night.
Chubbymum
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