Easter Sunday

What a day!!!!! Slept in Woohoooooo no one to wake us up. Then at 11am I painted the fence and finished at 4pm and hubby did the retaining wall while I painted the fence OMG soooo sore soo sooo sore. Had my BLONDE friend over helping out and had her over for dinner too. What a great friend!!! Yes sometimes she can be a pain but she gave up her Easter Sunday to come and help.... but yes here I go again... I am also going to complain about BLONDE too...

Well anyway I got my hair cut and coloured on Thursday and she knew because she kept saying.... only 2 days till you get your hair cut and only 1 days till your hair cut and colour.... wellll.

Today she said nothing for an hour about my hair!!! I had it cut short I mean short tucks behind my ears when before I could get it in to a pony tail and gone from blonde (or sandy coloured) to a brown red colour with little highlights and she didn't notice for an hour... or liked it and hated the fact that it looked good.... then when she noticed she said OMG you have coloured your hair and then in the next breath (which hubby kept repeating to me tonight because he couldn't believe she had said it) she said... I am going to buy a colour tomorrow and colour my hair a browny red thought I would have a change... hubby just looked at me and his eyes went up thinking OMG do you hear what you are saying... I know she copies but OMG OMG I just got my hair cut and coloured reddy brown and then she is going to do it as well!!! OMG OMG what is wrong with this picture.

I ate too much chocolate... I am sooo bad I had a medium easter egg and my tummy is feeling sick... I know I shouldn't have but I DID!!! and now regretting it but it was worth it when I ate it as I haven't had any chocolate since January 11th soooooo I am feeling the pain now he he he
It is now 10:15pm and I do have to go and have a nice long soak in the bath!!!! get the paint off my feet. I swear BLONDE put more paint on my feet than on the fence he he he he... but it was realllly nice that she helped and it was really really great that she helped.

Only 2 weeks Only 2 weeks Only 2 weeks till I meet my online buddies... OMG I am soooo looking forward to it but I am getting a little nervous too... OMG only 2 weeks to go woohooo

ChubbyMum
posted on 10:04 p.m.

Good Friday

Everytime I have tried to update the diary in the last couple of days it says that there are too many people on that I can't... OMG it is driving me nuts because I want to update and get it out!
I am getting so anxious about meeting everyone that it is not going fast enough for me he he he only 2 weeks to go.

Well I got my hair cut yesterday and OMG 10 people could have had a haircut and colour for the amount that lady charged OMG OMG but then again it makes me feel good and I think it looks good. So much easier to look after... a lot shorter and a lovely browny red colour with highlights... I am quite happy with it... and soooooo much cooler.

I know that I haven't lost a lot of weight but since I have lost 6.8 kilos I have felt like I am a skinny we thang he he he he and feel more energetic. I went out shopping with Mum on Wednesday and brought two new tops but the best thing about buying these tops was that before Xmas they were selling them and they were too tight around the tummy that it didn't fit and felt really bad and I was soooooo upset that I couldn't get in to it. But but but I got there yesterday and thought argghh why not try it on again and OMG OMG they fit.. yes I could loose more for it to be loose but they fit and they didn't feel as uncomfortable... I was chuffed with myself... I could try on more tops than usual and decide which ones I wanted... it felt fantastic. I can just imagine what it is going to be like when I loose way more weight and can fit into other tops... more trendy ones.

Took the boys to their Granddads today (hour and a half drive away) and we were running late and then yep you guessed it we got a flat tyre argghhhhh but finally got there and the boys were so excited to be going camping with Granddad and Nana Pat... they love going with them and the dogs. Plus in a way it is good for Jeremy and I to have some time just for us and to be able to actually sleep in Woohooo sleeping in that is sooo rare for us.

I am a little worried too as there are some really bad drivers out there too and I don't want anything to happen to my little boys... I have a horrible pit in my tummy when they are out on those roads without us. I do trust hubby's dad though and they are both ambulance drivers so hey they are in good hands.

Anyway going to go now and I might (if I can get on) update later on.

Chubby Mum
posted on 12:58 p.m. >

STONE!!!!!!

I have been home a couple of hours and I am really happy with my weigh in but I didn't know what I wanted to say on here tonight!!!

Woohooooo I lost 1.6 kilos... altogther 6.8kilos (14.96 lbs) OMG I got my stone from Weight Watchers Woohooooo my 1st stone and I am sooo happy. I am soooo happy because I wasn't going to go to the meeting tonight as I am supposed to get my monthly today or tomorrow and I always gain in that week and I didn't want to go through the pain of gaining ONCE again.
My BLONDE friend was really good today. I wasn't going to go and she said I should go and said that I have been loosing and I know that... I do really thank all of you for keeping me sane. I have lots of people saying that I am loosing it at the right speed and do know you are right but my mind tells me differently sometimes.

I went yesterday and brought a Woman's Day and I can tell you I don't buy it usually and not even a Woman's Weekly or anything like that because I don't usually want to know about all the celebraties and really tired of seeing Lady Di on all the covers still after 5 years but yesterday I got one because one I wanted to see a FAB article on a diary friend of mine. Lyn had an article about her in it and I tell you she looks fantastic. What an inspiration!!! I want to look like that one day. Today I do feel I am on my way. I know I have only lost 6.8 kilos but it is off and I am going to get to the 10 kilos before the 11 April!!! I am going for it!

It was great at the WW meeting tonight. I really enjoyed talking to our two leaders! It was fantastic how they went through the same things as I am going through now. I didn't know them when they were bigger so I can't imagine them big at all and talking to them was fantastic. One of the leaders had a scrapbook with photos of herself when she was bigger and OMG she doesn't look like that anymore her face has changed as well. She kept saying how it isn't just her face that has changed and she even had friends treat her badly when she started loosing the weight. I said to her "then you are better off without her then, because friends are there for the bad and the good parts and if she wasn't willing to be there through this then she was a friend that she needed" and she said that is why she lost all the weight because she knew then that she wasn't keeping the weight on for noone!!! she was going to do it despite her.. Woohoooo I say.

What a rush when you loose weight huh! I hope this isn't going to be a like a drug... as at the moment it feels like it... it feels like it because when I do loose I am on a HIGH and when I don't loose OMG am I a depressed cow or what.

I have missed updating these last couple of days. Bloody Diaryland has been down and it has been a pain in the rear end I can tell you!!! This is the third time since I have started my journal that this has happened and I am getting a little tired.

Anyway I am on a high!!!

BYEEEE
Chubbymum

Diaryland has been down again

Well I have been trying since Saturday to update but diaryland has been down (once again).
Friday I wrote about my work and was really upset when I wrote it but really it wasn't that big!! I will get over it I know... I wasn't angry with the people but the fact that my boss would go and apologise for me... if I thought that I had done something wrong and had upset someone I would have gone and apologised and when it happened the guy's face laughed and we were talking afterwards and I am certain he would have told me if there was anything that I said that he didn't like.

Just thought I would clarify it as I am not a person that holds a grudge that is for sure. Life is too short.

My weekend has been pretty good and everytime I put on one of my baggy t shirts it feels even baggyer around my arms.... I thought that the t-shirt was like stretching but all my shirts are doing it... around the arms and the tummy. I know I have only lost 5 kilos (11 pounds) but I feel such a difference and also in my self esteem like I am lighter and feel more energy to do things with the kids.

Went for a walk at 1pm today in the heat OMG almost died at the time as I was sweating but I felt really good afterwards as I had done my exercise. I also went on the swiss ball while watching ice age with the kids.... for an hour anyway... my thighs are a little sort but not as much as they would have been when I first started. I just bounced up and down and did twists with my tummy.... yeah I know it was a lot of exercise but at least I did it. My support team said I should walk in place while watching tv but I would get soooo bored with that that I wouldn't want to do it anymore.

My kids are wanting to use my laptop today and they have their own computer. OMG sometimes I wish I had never taught them how to use the computer he he he... but then again Corbin was playing solitaire today and I was soooo proud of him because it got him counting down and up and learning about kings and queens and jacks too. It was good that he was concentrating and it was also teaching him at the same time. Not bad for a 5 year old I must say. The only thing is is that he wants to do it on my computer ARGGHHHH.

Gone over in my points in the last couple of days... I have got my exercise points to use and still have 5 points left but spread it over the daily points and it seems ok but I still feel like I am cheating when I do that.

My support group has an 8 week challenge that I am soooo looking forward to. I want something that I can grit my teeth into... I have the autumn challenge with sfl but I also wanted to do another one with my support group as it helps me keep things going. I really want to get to the 10 kilos... it feels sooo unreachable but I have to do it.

I have stopped myself thinking about the 70 more kilos that I have to loose and I am thinking in 5 kilo lots (11 pounds). I still can't get over the feeling I felt when I lost the first 5 kilos and got my star... I don't want my BLONDE friend to get to the 6.3 (stone) before me... I would REALLY hate it. I mean God she has only 10 kilos to loose and I have 70 and she will get to her goal wayyyy before me I know it but I still don't want the milestones gotten to first. She will never get to the stage that she has lost 15 or 20 or 30 kilos... but the first 5 kilo and stone and 10 kilo I don't want her tooo.... yep it sounds selfish... yes it does but she has done everything before me in life and I want it to be my time... and that is also keeping me going. We go to dinner or out to lunch and guys stop and stare at her and I understand that... I am a big girl but I don't care really too much as I have a fabulous husband and I know she wishes she did too. I don't want to be second best anymore!! I want them to look at me and I do know that it is going to be a while before they do and not that I am going to do anything but feel happy that I am a looker now too... so this is going to keep me going!!! it is!!!

I am meeting some wonderful and inspirational ladies on the 10th April... and I cannot wait. I mean altogether they have lost (with my 5 kilos) 140.8 kilos!!! that is almost me for crying down the sink... OMG that is fantastic. I want to meet these wonderful ladies and get to know them and their struggles... and so that next time I meet them maybe at the end of the year when I go down to Wellington again they can see a difference in me and they will probably be at goal. So that is another thing that will keep me going.

Well this is getting to be a novel he he he he I better get on with playing with the kids and doing dinner he he he

Byeeee!!!!
ChubbyMum
posted on 1:02 p.m.

Book

I am reading a book at the moment called "The secret dreamworld of a shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella" OMG OMG it is such a light and funny book. I just can't put it down. Sometimes I wonder if I am like this lady and then I sit back and think OMG I cannot be a stupid as this lady and how she keeps buying and buying things... I am not into labels or anything but sometimes I do find that I want to buy buy buy. Reading this book has got me in fits of laughter.
Anyway I was reading it in my break at work today and thought that I would mention it.
Reply with more about my day later.

Chubbymum

Yep back again... well boss came out and said thanks for taking the work for the last three weeks she appreciates it but then she mentioned an incident back 10 days ago when one of the lecturers said something and was teasing the other lady here and I said "You are lucky she hasn't told you to bugger off" he he he and he smiled and seemed like he could take a joke... well apparently my boss went to him the next day and apologised and he said what for???... she said for me saying that to him... OMG OMG OMG and he said he wasn't offended.

I wouldn't have said it if I was going to upset someone and he could tell that I was only joking and that is why he laughed... sometimes I really get the impression that the people I work with are a bunch of prudes.

I can't wait to get back to my own office where I won't come out all day and I won't talk to anyone... I am just a natural friendly person and now I feel like I talk to much and I shouldn't have an opinion... You know I wasn't hurt when they said it but now that I have had time to think...

I am really upset with the fact that they would go and apologise for something I had said when it was me that said it and they weren't even in the room to see that the lecturer's expression was one of laughter and not pissed off... I am sure he would say something to me.

So now I am thinking that I will never ever volenteer to do anymore overtime at all because they have known me a year in this department and know that I am straight forward person and that I am not a little small mouse that will sit there and say nothing. I don't think they realised how much it hurt.

I am considerate of people and go out of my way to help and now I can feel the steam coming out of my ears.

Anyway
Chubbymum
posted on 3:59 p.m.

On a high

OK another entry... but I went to my taebo (or kickboxing)class tonight and I am so sore!! I really pushed and pushed myself. I am so proud that you couldn't believe!!

I feel on a high because I have really tried to push myself to do more in the exercise. I mean I am sweating so much now and a couple of years ago when I was trying to loose weight I never ever had a sweat on my brow!! I am sweating so much that I have to have a towel there at the gym.

My arms and thighs are sooooo sore tonight!!!! I just can't get over it. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I can't get enough of the exercise. Well I am addicted to kickboxing. I can't say I love walking but if you give me a kickboxing class everyday and I could afford it then I would be there.

Anyway enough of my rambling. Don't forget this is the second entry for the day..
Byeee
ChubbyMum

What I look like... and being positive

Negative!!

Negative!!

I have come to the conclusion that I am a negative person. I don't want to be! I don't want people to read my diary and think OMG she is complaining again... I don't want to read again. I don't know how to stop!! I have decided that I am going to try and be a little more positive everyday... But it isn't easy so there will be negative things in here.

Why do I do it? I think I do it because in real life I don't want to bore my friends or husband silly with the complaining so if I say it in here then at least I am getting it out and not holding it all in to make me crazy.

I had a fantastic email yesterday from a lovely new friend I have met online and I thank her for it. I had tears in my ears when reading it because she was so caring when she wrote it... I am at work writing this so I haven't got the email here that she sent but I should put it in there. (Thanks Janine)

I sometimes wonder how she gets the positive attitude she has. I have always been a worry wart and a person that is negative... not overly negative though but I do put myself down and not think of the brighter side.

I just get so impatient and I know the longer it takes to come off the longer I am going to keep it off. I have lost 5.2 kilos in 9 weeks and that is great really but I want it to be like 7 or 8 kilos and not just 5. The thing I need is for someone I know to notice the difference because it would boost my confidence no end. I do realise that I don't need that and I should be very happy with what I have achieved and that it is off and not on. It is just the way my brain works that if someone notices it then it just gets me going.

I started this entry to thank Janine and also mkia and fat queen too for the notes and emails just recently and the support it has really helped.
Well it is only 2 more days of full time work left then I am back to my part time work and I can tell you I CANNOT WAIT I have had enough of this job I am doing (while doing my own I might add) and feeling like a dogs body in the job. This lady has worked here for almost 30 years (I was told that yesterday) and I reallllllly don't know how she has managed to stay sain with such a mundane job with no appreciation. She is a trooper and a fantastic person and she is always happy to help.... I do lift my hat to her.

I just got an email to say Janine got the job she was after WOOOHOOOOO FANTASTIC NEWS it could not have gone to a more well deserving person that is for sure!!

Have you ever wondered what I look like? I read others diaries and sit there wondering what they look like... I mean I love reading them and feel like I have known them all my life but I have never never seen a photo of them.. Would be interesting to know what people think I look like..
Wanna tell me?

Anyway signing off for now.

Chubbymum
P.S Woohooo for you Janine.