I lost... yep I lost but not a lot but it is better than gaining aye... So I lost 200 grams!
I know this is going to sound really silly and bitchy but BLONDE has now lost more than me OMG why haven't I lost more... they say that bigger people loose more... what am I doing wrong. Yes I know people keep saying it is better that you are loosing than gaining and I have still lost 5.2 kilos but I want to do better and I need to understand and I don't.
My hubby seems to think it is because I am working full time and I was loosing better when I didn't have that extra pressure of work and the kids etc.. That I was thinking about what I was eating and with work I feel like I am nibbling all the time and with lunches it is better to have it at home then I am not tempted to buy the wrong things etc.
I have stopped taking my purse to the cafe when I meet the girls for lunch and I hope that makes a difference next week.
I don't know what else to say in this tonight but might write some more later.
Other than that I am really glad that I went to WW tonight... the group is starting to become so much more fun and the people are actually warming up to each other.
BYEEEEE
Chubby Mum
CHUBBYMUM Time to "MAKE MYSELF MY HOBBY" - From 2005 to 2008 I lost 42 kgs and things went wrong in my life with my mum and work and went in to major depression. I am trying my hardest to get back in to it and doing it for me. Going to "Make Myself My Hobby".
Wednesday, 16 March 2005
Constant Chat
What is wrong with me? I mean am I kidding myself that I can do this?? In my mind I feel like I am trying to loose this weight but then I really look at myself and think.. Am I? Have I really been good?
If I had been good for the week before the weigh in I wouldn't be so scared to get on those scales.. but then again there are weeks that I have been fantastic that week and I have gained.
As you can guess I am going in for my weigh in in 3 hours and I am soooo nervous you wouldn't believe. I have done exercise but I can't say I have been perfect with my food. I can't tell if I will loose or gain weight anymore... I have a good week and I gain.. I have a bad week and I loose and then when I think I am going to loose I do loose... it just doesn't make sense.
Life seems to be consumed by this diet at the moment. I am also missing the fact that lately my support group have been either ill or away or really busy and haven't been posting as much. I know they have other lifes but I really want to be involved in a ongoing group. One that you get to know the people and that you can post and post and post to and have people post and post back on a daily basis. I think I miss that. I have friends but no one that is going through this lifestyle change and it is getting me down.
I know it is too much for people sometimes to constantly keep emailing but I crave for it!!! I know I know get a life!!! I do know it but when I here others going through the same thing then it makes it a little easier for me.
Anyway I will post again after weigh in.
Chubbymum
posted on 2:52 p.m.
If I had been good for the week before the weigh in I wouldn't be so scared to get on those scales.. but then again there are weeks that I have been fantastic that week and I have gained.
As you can guess I am going in for my weigh in in 3 hours and I am soooo nervous you wouldn't believe. I have done exercise but I can't say I have been perfect with my food. I can't tell if I will loose or gain weight anymore... I have a good week and I gain.. I have a bad week and I loose and then when I think I am going to loose I do loose... it just doesn't make sense.
Life seems to be consumed by this diet at the moment. I am also missing the fact that lately my support group have been either ill or away or really busy and haven't been posting as much. I know they have other lifes but I really want to be involved in a ongoing group. One that you get to know the people and that you can post and post and post to and have people post and post back on a daily basis. I think I miss that. I have friends but no one that is going through this lifestyle change and it is getting me down.
I know it is too much for people sometimes to constantly keep emailing but I crave for it!!! I know I know get a life!!! I do know it but when I here others going through the same thing then it makes it a little easier for me.
Anyway I will post again after weigh in.
Chubbymum
posted on 2:52 p.m.
Monday, 14 March 2005
Hectic, hectic, hectic week
Well what a week. I think I am just struggling with working full time and THANK GOD that this week is the last out of the three weeks Woohoooo. Hey mkia thanks for your message!!! YEP still alive and I have been neglecting my diary because I get home and feel so tired.
Weekend here has just been so full on. Yesterday went and brought some new sneakers (some call it runners or joggers) Wow they set me back a few penny aargghhhh, but went for a walk up the hill with the boys last night and YIPPPEE what a difference.
I have flat feet so walking usually really hurts my feet like for days later, but after walking in the new shoes I felt sooo good and also it make me work my calve muscles more instead of the bottom of my feet. Also did the grocery shopping for the fortnight and that was like an hour and a half (I hate shopping for food soooo much).
After all that we went down to the big park where they were having a fun walk for cancer. This is where they get teams and those teams walk for 24 hours on shifts. My hubby’s Dad and step mum were in it with the St John Ambulance so we were there about an hour or so with the kids and did a couple of rounds around the running track it was fantastic and there were so many people there all dressed up and lots with flashing lights on them so they can be seen in the dark.
Today we were going through our bedroom and sorting things out and I cut the boys hair even hubby’s and then went out to get wrapping paper for a birthday party that the boys were going to… yay we left them there for 2 hours while we had some time to ourselves Wohooo. Then after that was finished we mowed the lawns and dug out a little trench strip for the retaining wall we are constructing in the back yard. So the weekend was full on and not really sitting still. OOPs forgot we also went out to get some gold fish.
It doesn’t seem a lot when reading it but it feels like a lot when doing it he he.
Really quite nervous about the weigh in on Tuesday as my monthly is due this week and I had a gain last week. I want to get to 10 kilos before 11 April and I don't think it is going to happen how hum. I am still loosing but I don't think I have been putting my heart into the food and making sure that I am tracking as much in the last week. I am still not choosing bad things and I am doing my exercise as normal but not going all out like I did when I started.
My BLONDE friend was off last week for a couple of days and she said that her tummy was playing up. I said to her that her symptoms of burping a lot and having a sharp pain in her tummy were consistant of an ulcer. I think I would know I have had one since I was 15 ARGGGHHH and it is something I wouldn't want my dog to go through. So she said she didn't think so and went to the doctor and waited 2 days for results and low and behold she has an ulcer... I wouldn't have liked to have gone through those days with her because an ulcer is just the worst thing you could have. So she hasn't been eating much at all so I can guess she has lost way more than me... you know that is the only thing I am worried about and I know that sounds like a bitch and I am not really a bitch but if you can imagine this....
Her 154 pounds and me 327 pounds... she has lost the same amount as me... I just hate it... I have been trying my hardest and she has been pigging out in the weekends and drinking and we have lost the same amount.. now after this week I can imagine the gap is going to get bigger where she has lost more than me. Yep it does sound like I am a bitch... I am not really just get pissed when she is soooo skinny as it is that I have so much to loose that she is still losing it faster or that she is loosing at the same rate just pisses me off.
Well I have booked myself in for the 24th of March to get my hair coloured and cut to make me feel great about the fact that I have lost this weight and hopefully before that I would have lost more. I was looking in the mirror yesterday and was trying to find out what was different about my face. I know that I feel that I have lost weight on my face and thought that my cheek bones were more prominant... I feel now that I am seeing my eyes more now (at the bottom) under my eyes. Like my eyes are bigger now or something. It made me feel really good today when I was looking.
Anyway I think I better get offline now and I will try my hardest to get on more this week.
BYEEEE
Weekend here has just been so full on. Yesterday went and brought some new sneakers (some call it runners or joggers) Wow they set me back a few penny aargghhhh, but went for a walk up the hill with the boys last night and YIPPPEE what a difference.
I have flat feet so walking usually really hurts my feet like for days later, but after walking in the new shoes I felt sooo good and also it make me work my calve muscles more instead of the bottom of my feet. Also did the grocery shopping for the fortnight and that was like an hour and a half (I hate shopping for food soooo much).
After all that we went down to the big park where they were having a fun walk for cancer. This is where they get teams and those teams walk for 24 hours on shifts. My hubby’s Dad and step mum were in it with the St John Ambulance so we were there about an hour or so with the kids and did a couple of rounds around the running track it was fantastic and there were so many people there all dressed up and lots with flashing lights on them so they can be seen in the dark.
Today we were going through our bedroom and sorting things out and I cut the boys hair even hubby’s and then went out to get wrapping paper for a birthday party that the boys were going to… yay we left them there for 2 hours while we had some time to ourselves Wohooo. Then after that was finished we mowed the lawns and dug out a little trench strip for the retaining wall we are constructing in the back yard. So the weekend was full on and not really sitting still. OOPs forgot we also went out to get some gold fish.
It doesn’t seem a lot when reading it but it feels like a lot when doing it he he.
Really quite nervous about the weigh in on Tuesday as my monthly is due this week and I had a gain last week. I want to get to 10 kilos before 11 April and I don't think it is going to happen how hum. I am still loosing but I don't think I have been putting my heart into the food and making sure that I am tracking as much in the last week. I am still not choosing bad things and I am doing my exercise as normal but not going all out like I did when I started.
My BLONDE friend was off last week for a couple of days and she said that her tummy was playing up. I said to her that her symptoms of burping a lot and having a sharp pain in her tummy were consistant of an ulcer. I think I would know I have had one since I was 15 ARGGGHHH and it is something I wouldn't want my dog to go through. So she said she didn't think so and went to the doctor and waited 2 days for results and low and behold she has an ulcer... I wouldn't have liked to have gone through those days with her because an ulcer is just the worst thing you could have. So she hasn't been eating much at all so I can guess she has lost way more than me... you know that is the only thing I am worried about and I know that sounds like a bitch and I am not really a bitch but if you can imagine this....
Her 154 pounds and me 327 pounds... she has lost the same amount as me... I just hate it... I have been trying my hardest and she has been pigging out in the weekends and drinking and we have lost the same amount.. now after this week I can imagine the gap is going to get bigger where she has lost more than me. Yep it does sound like I am a bitch... I am not really just get pissed when she is soooo skinny as it is that I have so much to loose that she is still losing it faster or that she is loosing at the same rate just pisses me off.
Well I have booked myself in for the 24th of March to get my hair coloured and cut to make me feel great about the fact that I have lost this weight and hopefully before that I would have lost more. I was looking in the mirror yesterday and was trying to find out what was different about my face. I know that I feel that I have lost weight on my face and thought that my cheek bones were more prominant... I feel now that I am seeing my eyes more now (at the bottom) under my eyes. Like my eyes are bigger now or something. It made me feel really good today when I was looking.
Anyway I think I better get offline now and I will try my hardest to get on more this week.
BYEEEE
Thursday, 10 March 2005
Grump Grump Grump
Today was a crap of a day. I hate working full time... I do not like this girls job it is the most boring job I have had in my entire life. At the moment I am working her job (Full time position) and mine (20 hours a week) so that is 57 1/2 hour job in only 35 hours a week hmmmmm now does that sound like a nightmare. I realise I was the one that said yes to taking her job for 3 weeks as it was needed and if we got a temp in then we would have to explain the whole Uni thing too ARGGHHHH and also the money is good.
Just that I haven't done any of my work in 2 weeks and that wasn't what was supposed to happen and it is frustrating me no end because in the long run it is my reputation going down the drain when things don't happen. So that is why I have been off for a while not replying as much. I get home and I am exhausted... because of the job being sooooo mundane and boring... at least my job there is a challenge... how can this woman work in this job for 10 years and still be sooo nice and actually sane... I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW.
To make matters worse... the computers went down yesterday too.. well the internet as in town some idiot had cut the cable he he he he major damage.. and then the building electricity went out he he... and at home they cut off our electricity saying that we didn't pay and I know darn well we did... well I thought we did.. the bloody bank had stopped an A/P and since we don't use that account for anything I hadn't noticed ARGGHHH so we had to get it put back on again and have a reconnection fee... OMG like I have been paying the electricity bill for 10 years now and they didn't have the curteousy to ring us or leave a message... I mean my mother lives with us and she is home all day... no no no they just cut it off.. talk about customer service.
THEN>>>> yep there is a THEN... the washing machine wasn't going and I have to get someone in to fix it. I felt like the whole world was going against me.
Anyway that is me for the night.. grump grump grump.
Chubby Mum
Just that I haven't done any of my work in 2 weeks and that wasn't what was supposed to happen and it is frustrating me no end because in the long run it is my reputation going down the drain when things don't happen. So that is why I have been off for a while not replying as much. I get home and I am exhausted... because of the job being sooooo mundane and boring... at least my job there is a challenge... how can this woman work in this job for 10 years and still be sooo nice and actually sane... I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW.
To make matters worse... the computers went down yesterday too.. well the internet as in town some idiot had cut the cable he he he he major damage.. and then the building electricity went out he he... and at home they cut off our electricity saying that we didn't pay and I know darn well we did... well I thought we did.. the bloody bank had stopped an A/P and since we don't use that account for anything I hadn't noticed ARGGHHH so we had to get it put back on again and have a reconnection fee... OMG like I have been paying the electricity bill for 10 years now and they didn't have the curteousy to ring us or leave a message... I mean my mother lives with us and she is home all day... no no no they just cut it off.. talk about customer service.
THEN>>>> yep there is a THEN... the washing machine wasn't going and I have to get someone in to fix it. I felt like the whole world was going against me.
Anyway that is me for the night.. grump grump grump.
Chubby Mum
Monday, 7 March 2005
Red Wedding
What a weekend this has been I feel like I have been run over with a bus he he he.
Yesterday consisted of going to the Bunnings with a trailor and filling up two loads of big building blocks (150 of them to be exact) for our retaining wall in the back yard OMG OMG they were so heavy and my arms are just sooo sore today.
Then went to a friends wedding and it was fantastic she had it at the new (Most expensive)rugby field (that we all pay for in our taxes grrrr) but anyway her wedding was fantastic and low key but really romantic and she wore Red OMG red and I was sooo proud of her because she had been going with her man for 11 years since she was 16 she didn't feel like white was her and was sooo scared to tell anyone but her sister that she was wearing red. She looked fantastic in red and I said to her that she needed to do what was right for her as it was her day.
The bride and groom got up to do their wedding dance and it was to Barry White with his deep sensual voice... and the dance routine was sooo funny that we asked them to do it again later on. It was a really great wedding and I was glad I went... I certainly danced my butt off and even had a couple of guys that came and danced with me he he he when hubby was tired (and he is skinner that me he he he).
So needless to say this morning I am soooo sore!!!!! But lets hope that has lost me some kilos he he he....
Anyway I might write later but for now have to go and dance with the kids!!!! such a nice day.
posted on 5:10 p.m.
Yesterday consisted of going to the Bunnings with a trailor and filling up two loads of big building blocks (150 of them to be exact) for our retaining wall in the back yard OMG OMG they were so heavy and my arms are just sooo sore today.
Then went to a friends wedding and it was fantastic she had it at the new (Most expensive)rugby field (that we all pay for in our taxes grrrr) but anyway her wedding was fantastic and low key but really romantic and she wore Red OMG red and I was sooo proud of her because she had been going with her man for 11 years since she was 16 she didn't feel like white was her and was sooo scared to tell anyone but her sister that she was wearing red. She looked fantastic in red and I said to her that she needed to do what was right for her as it was her day.
The bride and groom got up to do their wedding dance and it was to Barry White with his deep sensual voice... and the dance routine was sooo funny that we asked them to do it again later on. It was a really great wedding and I was glad I went... I certainly danced my butt off and even had a couple of guys that came and danced with me he he he when hubby was tired (and he is skinner that me he he he).
So needless to say this morning I am soooo sore!!!!! But lets hope that has lost me some kilos he he he....
Anyway I might write later but for now have to go and dance with the kids!!!! such a nice day.
posted on 5:10 p.m.
Friday, 4 March 2005
A Novel today he he
OK the only thing with working full time for the next three weeks is that IT SUCKS!!! OMG It is amazing how you see people differently when you work with them more than 20 hours a week. Stressed snappy people he he he that keep telling me it is ok I don't have to fret!!! OMG I feel like I am the only relaxed person around here and if one more person says "Calm down" I will definatly show them what not being calm is about. I was asking the other lady here if I was coming across as stressed... she said she didn't think so as I am always smiling and friendly and she didn't think I was stressed... my boss keeps saying don't stress... OMG I am not stressing.. I must admit I don't like working full time but I am not showing the stress at work.
The other lady here says it is probably because she is getting stressed he he he..
I do feel really unhappy this week. My husband in the last two years keeps saying I am much happier with my life since working only part time. I think I have found my balance in life and not working 40 hours a week is so agreeing with me. I don't think that I want to go back to permanently working full time.
I am sooo proud of myself this week for loosing. I honestly was stressing out in the weekend and on Monday and Tuesday before weigh in thinking that I was going to gain as I managed to have 3 of those Weight Watcher Icecreams with chocolate on the outside... but kept within the points but though OMG it will catch up with me he he he.
It was sooo cool getting my book mark with the star on it. OMG before I got one I always used to think what is everyone getting so ecstatic about it is only a bloody piece of thick paper hehehe but it is so much more than that it is like a big achievement.
We had to leave early from the meeting and I just couldn't wait any longer so when the WW leader got us to get in groups I went up to her and said can I take the bookmark now as I have to go and then she stopped the groups and said in front of everyone that I was getting my first book mark OMG OMG was I ever embarrased and I was standing at that OMG I wish that I would have waited till next week and went and got it then before the meeting he he he..
It is getting a little easier now.. I got past my 3 week problem area where I start diets and the 3rd week is a nightmare for me. I have been on it now 7 weeks and ok I have lost every week but still we can't all be perfect. At least it is coming off that is the main thing. 5.3 kilo's is what I have lost so far....11.66 pounds and that is fantastic... but for me to get my bicyle I have to loose another 48.4 kilos OUCH and in pounds is 106.48 OMG OMG when I look at that I just cringe. But until I get to that mark I am not getting on a bike. I want to be 100 kilos when I get my bike so it is an incentive to get there. But if I am loosing at the rate I am now it will be about 23 May 2006 OHHH that is such a long time away.
If any one has lost the amount or is trying to loose the amount that I am loosing I want to hear from you please... how do you do it!!!?? How did you cope with the amount you have to loose and did you keep going? I know it is a life change but the slowness of it is driving me insane. I know I have only been on for 7 weeks but I was expecting a kilo a week not 750grams and it just seems like forever to get down to even 100 kilos which by the way is still WAY OVERWEIGHT. Yes I do know it is my fault that I got this far anyway... I think I just want people to notice and for it to affect my self esteem so that I will loose more and quickly. I mean I am doing 2 to 3 hours of exercise a week and really sweating with it and 700grams average a week is just so slow.
I have been really slack this week in updating my diary and also with emails that have been sent and I want to say SORRYYYYY to those that have sent emails and I haven't gotten back to you. Tonight (cross fingers) I don't have anything planned after my hour of kickboxing and once all the family is settled tonight I will be online and trying to reply. I do appreciate the emails but with working full time and everything else I haven't had time... but KEEP sending them I LOVE emails..
Anyway I might come on later and update even more he he he
Chubby Mum.
IT Continues......
I just want to chat!!!
I want to have a support group that chats all the time.. I know others have lives... but I want to chat!!!! ARGHHHHH feeling quite bored today!! I want to meet people and talk about things and feel soooo lost this afternoon.
Wow just realised that I am a lonely sad person! I miss friends... true friends that listen and that I can listen to them too. Ones that are always there... anyway I am going now before I get worse GEESH me.
posted on 1:05 p.m
The other lady here says it is probably because she is getting stressed he he he..
I do feel really unhappy this week. My husband in the last two years keeps saying I am much happier with my life since working only part time. I think I have found my balance in life and not working 40 hours a week is so agreeing with me. I don't think that I want to go back to permanently working full time.
I am sooo proud of myself this week for loosing. I honestly was stressing out in the weekend and on Monday and Tuesday before weigh in thinking that I was going to gain as I managed to have 3 of those Weight Watcher Icecreams with chocolate on the outside... but kept within the points but though OMG it will catch up with me he he he.
It was sooo cool getting my book mark with the star on it. OMG before I got one I always used to think what is everyone getting so ecstatic about it is only a bloody piece of thick paper hehehe but it is so much more than that it is like a big achievement.
We had to leave early from the meeting and I just couldn't wait any longer so when the WW leader got us to get in groups I went up to her and said can I take the bookmark now as I have to go and then she stopped the groups and said in front of everyone that I was getting my first book mark OMG OMG was I ever embarrased and I was standing at that OMG I wish that I would have waited till next week and went and got it then before the meeting he he he..
It is getting a little easier now.. I got past my 3 week problem area where I start diets and the 3rd week is a nightmare for me. I have been on it now 7 weeks and ok I have lost every week but still we can't all be perfect. At least it is coming off that is the main thing. 5.3 kilo's is what I have lost so far....11.66 pounds and that is fantastic... but for me to get my bicyle I have to loose another 48.4 kilos OUCH and in pounds is 106.48 OMG OMG when I look at that I just cringe. But until I get to that mark I am not getting on a bike. I want to be 100 kilos when I get my bike so it is an incentive to get there. But if I am loosing at the rate I am now it will be about 23 May 2006 OHHH that is such a long time away.
If any one has lost the amount or is trying to loose the amount that I am loosing I want to hear from you please... how do you do it!!!?? How did you cope with the amount you have to loose and did you keep going? I know it is a life change but the slowness of it is driving me insane. I know I have only been on for 7 weeks but I was expecting a kilo a week not 750grams and it just seems like forever to get down to even 100 kilos which by the way is still WAY OVERWEIGHT. Yes I do know it is my fault that I got this far anyway... I think I just want people to notice and for it to affect my self esteem so that I will loose more and quickly. I mean I am doing 2 to 3 hours of exercise a week and really sweating with it and 700grams average a week is just so slow.
I have been really slack this week in updating my diary and also with emails that have been sent and I want to say SORRYYYYY to those that have sent emails and I haven't gotten back to you. Tonight (cross fingers) I don't have anything planned after my hour of kickboxing and once all the family is settled tonight I will be online and trying to reply. I do appreciate the emails but with working full time and everything else I haven't had time... but KEEP sending them I LOVE emails..
Anyway I might come on later and update even more he he he
Chubby Mum.
IT Continues......
I just want to chat!!!
I want to have a support group that chats all the time.. I know others have lives... but I want to chat!!!! ARGHHHHH feeling quite bored today!! I want to meet people and talk about things and feel soooo lost this afternoon.
Wow just realised that I am a lonely sad person! I miss friends... true friends that listen and that I can listen to them too. Ones that are always there... anyway I am going now before I get worse GEESH me.
posted on 1:05 p.m
Wednesday, 2 March 2005
Woohoo Bookmark
OK been a little slack in the last couple of days but haven't been able to get to my computer much. But went in for my weight tonight and I lost WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO was sooooo worried that I wouldn't as I haven't been as good as I have in the past weeks. I kept with my points but I still have lots of sugery things that I shouldn't.
So anyway I lost 1.4kg this week. Total of 5.3 lost all together Woohooo so I got my first Bookmark (star) with Weight Watchers... so chuffed you wouldn't believe wohoooooo.
Roll on the 10 kilos mark Yay.
Anyway will try and update again on Wednesday.
Chubby Mum
posted on 10:53 p.m
So anyway I lost 1.4kg this week. Total of 5.3 lost all together Woohooo so I got my first Bookmark (star) with Weight Watchers... so chuffed you wouldn't believe wohoooooo.
Roll on the 10 kilos mark Yay.
Anyway will try and update again on Wednesday.
Chubby Mum
posted on 10:53 p.m
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