Emotional day

Feb 16, 2007 at 10:44 PM

Ok so I didn't mention yesterday that I have been fretting about going for a smear today... I have not been sleeping and I am still really worried about it all. I went it is done... and it isn't the physical smear that worries me at all hey I have had two kids ya know...

I will find out in a week what the results were and I am a fretter... I went through a brain tumour scare 11 years ago after being married for 6 months it was the most god awful thing I have ever been through and wouldn't want to go through it ever again that is for sure.... so hubby today took off the time to make sure I got my backside in to the doctors nurse to get the smear... and the lady was ok but she had the feelings of a gnatt. I was quite emotional and really tried not to but with my Dad going through 10 years of cancer problems I was beside myself...
So it is over and done with and I can't do much about it now. She said to me that everything seems to be ok so I suppose she knows what she is saying and she said that now we just have to wait for the results hmmmm

So for the next week I am going to be a wreck.

Anyway...........

Went to the gym for my PT today and my trainer said that she noticed today that she thinks that I have lost a bit on my tummy because when I was doing my sit ups it looked so much flatter so I felt really good about that. I have been quite good with my food yesterday and today but Wednesday was a bit of a nightmare but hey 1 day a week isn't too bad I reckon and as long as keep the rest of the week good.

So I have been doing some more thinking he he he about this business thing... now I know I want to do something crafty and I want to be able to do it so I spend time with the kids etc... so I am starting my invitation business from home again. My friend that owns the florist said she would stock my business cards and she is having a stall at the Wedding expo so if I could get my a into g and get some invites done then I can promote my business there.

I know owning a shop will be a lot of work but I think it is something that I want to do...
especially if it is creative. But one step at a time I am going to see how many invites I can get and then if things are going alright I would like to open an invitation shop so people can buy the paper and stuff to go towards making their own invites or birthday invites etc and give advice or do them for them... plus have lots of things to do with weddings like little boxes or mint boxes etc in it. I think it is needed in this town as there isn't that much there and especially not much that collates it all in one place.... anyway that is a thought at the moment.

I will have to post some photos of my invites here one day... but copyright them he he he.

So it is keeping me occupied at the moment so I stop thinking about the results of the smear... I know some of you are thinking you stupid fool... why worry about something like that but if you have been through the last 20 years of my life you will understand that I don't want to die right now but I also don't want to know if I have anything either... it is a strange feeling but I want to be in denial and keep on with my kids and my hubby and enjoying the life I have and what I am doing and achieving... selfish bitch huh!!!

CM

Comments

Chris H wrote:
Feb 17, 2007 at 4:00 PM
The last time I had a smear test was after I had Mike, 17 years ago! It was the most humiliating, degrading experience of my life, and I vowed then to never put myself through that again, and I havn't! I asked for the nurse to do it, she couldn't "find" my cervix, so called in another 2 nurses, who also couldn't find my cervix (I know I've got one!), so then they called in the two male doctors.... who had me in this position, then that position, until finally after about 45 minutes they managed to obtain the smear... and I was hysterically crying. I am a very self conscience person (down there) and just can't do it again. And the bastards said it was because I was so big ..... I was about 85 kilos!! and had just had a baby weighing 10pd 4oz !!! Don't ask me to go have one, it ain't gunna happen. I hope you don't stress too much waiting for your results, but you probably will ! Have a great weekend.

Anne wrote:
Feb 17, 2007 at 7:52 PM
Hope all is ok - not the most wonderful thing to have done:(

Kateypie wrote:
Feb 18, 2007 at 8:52 AM
Not sure why you are so worried about the smear? Have you had abnormal results before? When I worked for family planning I had just started learning more about smears, and had done a few (haha, it's embarrassing for the nurse too!). Cervical cancer is a very slow growing one.. which is why the smears are only 2 years apart.. so usually what happens as the smear shows low grade abnormal cells, then the stages go CIN1, CIN2, CIN3,(all just abnormal cells and not cancer) and THEN cancer may form.. but, it IS very slow growing usually, and they are great about treating the abnormal cells, as soon as they show up. I hope that this didn't freak you out, I was just trying to reassure you. And well done on going and having it done, even though it's made you a bit stressed out - if there were any abnormal cells, they can treat them asap, and prevent anything worse growing. Good on you for looking after yourself!xx

Rachel's World wrote:
Feb 19, 2007 at 11:58 AM
You sound like you have good reason to be emotional about your smear and I'm sorry you are going to have such a horrible week worrying.

You must let us know when everything is OK because now you will have all of us waiting on the results..........hahaha