Time to "MAKE MYSELF MY HOBBY" - From 2005 to 2008 I lost 42 kgs and things went wrong in my life with my mum and work and went in to major depression. I am trying my hardest to get back in to it and doing it for me. Going to "Make Myself My Hobby".
Tuesday, 31 January 2006
Weigh in tonight
Today was a good one. I went to my kickboxing class and it didn't feel as hard as it has in the past. Yes it was hot but I so enjoyed it today. I think I am getting used to it now and my body isn't feeling like it is heavy anymore. Also the time went really fast. Kris wasn't feeling too well today. I don't know if she thinks this but I think she is overdoing the exercise maybe. She was feeling a little dizzy in class but she rode her bike to the class as well. Maybe it was her body saying she was doing too much??? I hope she is feeling better now. The heat wouldn't be helping things that is for sure.
Came home and played some eye toy with my eldest son and some playstation as it was just too hot to be outside in the heat. It was an enjoyable morning and then my best friend from Wellington came over for a visit with her kids and other half. It was great to see them. I opened the door and she screamed at me OMG OMG my friend you look fantastic! She squeezed me around my waist twice and her other half (who doesn't say much usually) said "you are looking good girl" so that was a huge compliment. It was great seeing them again. I showed them our new eye toy and they got hooked and my friends partner is trying to convince her to get one woohooo that would be nice for them that is for sure.
I am so happy with my loss this week. I am hoping that I can do that next week as well but I am going to try but not push myself. I am on my way to losing this year and I am in a good mode and I have been happy about the fact that I am not saying what I am losing or how much I have lost. I am going to do this for about 6 months and then I will go back to posting. I just feel that I compete when I do it.. for my mind it has been working well for the past couple of weeks and might try it out for a while. I find that when I am competing (I AM) I do the opposite and start to gain and I don't want that. I want to change my mindset!!
I am feeling in a positive mode and I really enjoyed my meeting tonight. Our leaders were back from holiday and the last month hasn't been the same without them. The whole meeting was different and they are the type of ladies that care and really try and help. OMG there was soooo many people starting WW tonight. The group lost 36 kilos! and there were a lot of men. I know that it is going to be only for a month or two and then it will dwindle again as it did last year but it was good to see some males there tonight as well.
Anyway I am babbling now.
Have a good night
Love CM
Monday, 30 January 2006
Feels like a Sunday
What a scorcher of a day!
I HATE SUMMER WITH A PASSION. I love Autumn and Winter and Spring. If I could I would spend Winter in New Zealand and then go on the other side of the world and have another winter. I loath Summer... being sticky and sweaty and constantly feeling grumpy.
We put up the paddling pool in the back yard and all of us went for a nice paddle in the cold water this afternoon. It was fantastic to cool down but it took some time to actually get in the pool because it was BLOODY cold he he he
We had a surpremo salad for lunch with everything you can think of in it... We also sat outside eating cold watermelon.... and the golfers going past looked jealous he he he.
The boys are playing playstation at the moment. I cannot say I like the playstation games that much but I do LOVE the eye toy games like eye toy 3 and Kinestic.... I feel when they are playing with the controls that it could be quite addictive so I am giving them a half an hour then they are going to go and play or read for a while as they are not going to get hooked. It is a good time for me to update my blog though he he.
I must admit I am missing my friend Tania since she moved to Hokitika.... I miss chatting and just being able to go over her place without phoning and spending time with her. I cannot say that we did much but just hang out but it just felt right ya know. I am spending more time with my boys since she has gone but I am feeling the strain of not having her around lately.
I might give her a phone call tonight and see how she is doing. ;-(
I had a phone call from a lady that takes her children to a creche I go to asking if I would make some thank you cards and she will pay me for them. Also she was asking if I could do her daughters birthday invitations and she would pay me for them. I was so chuffed so I am going to sit down at the table tonight and get them over and done with. I haven't been wanting to do much of my creative things lately as it has been too hot.
Tell you what there are some sick golfers out there today. Scorching weather and they are wearing the hottest clothes and drinking beer.... just doesn't seem sane to me that is for sure.
Anyway it is my weigh in tomorrow night and I am a little worried but I think I have been good. I haven't tracked this weekend but hey I have enjoyed myself. I have been off the V for 7 days now Wohoooo so that might make a little difference.
Ok have a good night
Love CM
Sunday, 29 January 2006
Scariest Day of My Life
So anyway we went to our friends place and they have a pool that my 6 year old can stand in but my 4 year old couldn't and we told him he wasn't allowed in the pool without the arm bands and he knows that he would get in trouble if he didn't have the arm bands on...
Well I was talking to my friend (we were like on the other side of the pool gate) and we looked in and Quinn was drowning... OMG it was like slow motion and there was a 5 year old in the pool and I was screaming at this little boy to grab Quinn and he looked at me like I was nuts.... we were trying to get the F*&(en gate open and finally we got in there and got him out and he was just looking at me all white and hugging me soooooo tight and crying.
I thought we had lost him... I am still shaking and it has been 3 hours later and I cannot stop crying... It was all in slow motion and I was screaming at the other boy to grab him and I just wanted to shake the F(**&n little bleep bleep bleep (I know he is only little but OMG). I can't believe he was in there!!!! I don't ever want a pool at my place EVER!!!! I know it was our responsiblity to make sure he was safe and honestly I didn't think he would go near the pool as he is usually so scared of water... and I told him in not certain terms he was not allowed near the pool without his arm bands on. I am crying just writing this and I just don't know how to calm down. It was like only seconds that we were having the conversation with him about not going near the way.
Anyway I am going now... just still really upset!
CM
Saturday, 28 January 2006
Tapdancing
Come on!!! Someone come with me! Good exercise and we can feel silly together he he he... and meet some new friends.
My day has been a relaxing one going and doing the groceries and then just relaxing at home... OMG was it a scorcher of a day here.... This afternoon the boys had the slip'n slide up and the pool and were having fun. I sat on the swing and read my magazine and then on the banana lounger and just watched them. By 5pm though I was soooo hot that I went upstairs (while hubby looked after them) and filled up the spa bath with cold water and relaxed it was soooo nice.. BLOODY cold but really nice.
Well it has been six day's without a V and my headache has gone woohoooo. I have beaten the V habit. After 6 years of drinking V I am not suprised I had a major headache for a couple of days.
The nice thing was.... I got home on Friday after work and Crusher from the gym phoned me (trainer I have been talking with about food etc) to find out how kicking the V habit was going and I said that I hadn't had any since talking to her. She said she was proud of me! I must admit I am proud of myself too. I did feel quite lethargic and with less zoom in me when I quit but I think I feel better for it now. Someone asked me if I tried the sugarless V and yes I had but wasn't impressed with the after taste so never had one again yukkkkky.
I think I am back on track now... I don't know how the weight loss is going to go this Tuesday but I am not going to fear about it anymore as it was getting me depressed and to tell the truth I am getting a little tired of always talking about it. I am actually happier not posting exactly how much I have lost or gained and just posting that I have lost or gained on here..... it has put me into some sort of ease that I know I am doing what is right for me and it shouldn't be a competing thing... in my mind that is. The fact that I have changed my lifestyle and I am now chosing the right foods and if I don't I know I am not going to fall off the wagon. Over Xmas I was worried that I would go off the wagon and do the wrong thing. I know that I didn't lose but I know in my mind that I didn't eat badly.... I just have to change my thoughts...... The scales didn't show all the work I had done but my hubby in the Xmas break looked at me and said "I am proud of you" I broke down and cried because he is a person that keeps a lot to himself and for him to say that made me so happy. I had been waiting a long time for him to actually say it to me.
I was in the tea room at work the other day and someone was eating a Pizza Hutt pizza and they looked at me and said "sorry".... it got me thinking maybe I talk too much about weight loss and points and WW and I don't want people thinking they can't eat their lunch in front of me or for them to fear what I am thinking of them. It is just not right!!! It has to be their decision what they do and most of the girls are skinny anyway and they do a lot of exercise.
Anyway.... it is time for me to go and spend time with hubby.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
Thursday, 26 January 2006
A non day today
Went to work told the boss I wasn't happy to sit around being bored anymore and told her that if I get put in that situation again I will be going into the children's area and helping out there instead of waiting and waiting for something to do. The reason I say this is because the computer that has the financial stuff on it is in another office and there are meetings in there and I cannot get to it... until our new computer is up and running again. She said she could tell I was upset about sitting there bored and not being able to get my work done. I said yes... she said I could do that if I wanted.
I also said that we have to have a chat about my work and what I am doing now....because I cannot sit around waiting for work. I want to know that I have duties and get on with it and not be a little girl in a school ground waiting for the teacher to tell her what to do. In my previous jobs I knew what my job was and I got on with it and I hate this not delegating business where she is too scared to let things go.
I am doing the budget for the whole centre and controlling that so... for now that is good.
Got home and sat outside watching the boys on their bikes and then had dinner and played with the eye toy with the boys again.....
Then hubby and I played Kinetics after the boys were in bed and wow it was a work out he he he I just couldn't stop laughing at hubby doing the kickboxing stuff because he was too lazy to get his legs up and kick and used his hands instead but it was fantastic..... He was a Amateur and I was a professional... now that would have been the first time that I was better than him in a sporty exercise thingy he he he so I will cherish that forever.
Anyway I still have a massive headache... I would say mainly to looking at the eye toy stuff but I had it at work too so maybe it is time to go to bed..
4 days without a V... wohoooo me!
Love Chubbymum
Wednesday, 25 January 2006
Can't stop laughing my head off
But today has been the most agrevating but the most funny as well.
Went to work today and it was another boring crappy day.... boss was in a mood and took it out on one of the companies on the phone in the end she said "I don't understand your computer speak" and the lady on the other end was saying "you are making things worse than they are" but the boss was right but was sick and tired of them not listening... well they listened to me and it seems to be getting sorted now I had a calm talk to the person on the other end. Wanted to slap my boss for getting upset over something so trivial and she needs to chill out.
Anyway....
Got home from work and the cat was all lethargic and wanting to get on my chest to cuddle (which isn't that weird usually) but he just seemed sad. Well he had an absess on his head so I took him to the vet and $87 later OUCH... but apparently he had a fever above normal for a cat so it was good that we took him in and now he is on antibiotics too poor wee kitty....
After that hubby and I went out and brought eye toy and playstation 2 and kinetic (which I have heard Kris speak about so much he he) and Eye toy groove and eye toy play 3 and we have been laughing since 6pm for 2 hours... The boys are going to be their bed now.... such sweaty little monkeys and my mother has been laughing non stop too.
We decided not to get the singstar as these games would be better as you stand in front of the tv waving your arms around to it. The Eye Toy Groove we had the most fun with as it is a dancing one and I was shaking my little bootie. You put your weight in and it tells you at the end hour many calories you burnt and in a 2 minute dance routine I burnt 78 calories he he he soooo much fun.
There is an embarrasing little part at the end where it shows you what you were dancing like he he he and now hubby is putting the boys in bed it is repeating me dancing..... oh my god my tummy was wobbling everywhere but then again it doesn't make me look as big as I thought I looked that is for sure.
The kitty has been hiding from us ever since we got home but has just come to say hello.
Kris and I were supposed to be going to kickboxing tonight but I think I am doing enough exercise here he he he but the headache is still there. I can't wait till I have been off the V for a while so I don't get them.
Anyway I am going to go and do Kinetics now byyyyeee
Love Chubbymum
Tuesday, 24 January 2006
Weigh in day today
Got home and took mum and corbin out shopping it was nice just to go out and not worry that you have to say no to this and no to that.
Corbin went to his school friends house this afternoon and we got to chatting and the friends mum wants to join WW with me and we also got into dancing as I really would like to go to a dance class and her and her husband are going to a rock in roll class tonight (hubby and I did it before our wedding and enjoyed it). I want to go to a tap dancing class or Ceroc class and hubby said he would do the ceroc class with me so we are going to explore classes and do it... wohoooo having fun with hubby and exercising at the same time.
Well I went to the weigh in tonight and I lost.... really weird considering I got my monthly this afternoon (and I have heavy ones he he) and I haven't been that wonderful this past week. GO FIGURE... I just don't know.!!!!
Anyway gotto go have dinner now.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
Monday, 23 January 2006
Not feeling well
I am not too sure if I am coming down with the flu or something else.
But felt really bad all day and really down in the dumps.
This morning went to the gym and did 20 minutes on the bike and 20 minutes on the treadmill then I had to come home because I was not right... just didn't feel right.
Had a long chat to Crusher(trainer) about my food (as I had to bring in my tracking for the last 4 days) and have a couple of goals to achieve and my first is no more V's (which I have tried before but not really succeeded with it maybe cause I didn't want to) but I have not had one today!!! and that isn't why I am feeling bad either.
My youngest son has been looking after me today as he can tell I am not feeling to good. Took the boys out to see their dad today too for lunch. It was nice sitting in the park having lunch and the boys playing.
Cheer me up someone!!!!
I have started a new part of my blog.... check it out here!
I have been doing my computer scrapbook pages lately and it has made me feel like I am on top of the world again. I am going to research digital photography classes here and go to some. I was thinking maybe I might go to the photo society and join that too. I really want to do meet some more people and to try something different than the same old same of exercise, food and family. I will still do that but there is more to life and I am concentrating so much on the exercise and food (and it is not working for me at the moment) that I have to get out of this rut and try something different for a while.
Anyway going now. Might go to bed.
Love Chubbymum
Friday, 20 January 2006
Not giving up!
I know that when you read that I have gained weight you start thinking... was she really tracking and exercising... I DID track and I DID do the exercise... and I think that is what is making me so mad at myself because I don't know why I wouldn't lose.
I do think maybe with this new points system it made me go up to 26 points and not 25 anymore so I am doing a little experiment this week and I am going to only go to 24 points and shock my system!
I had a really busy day today at work it was so busy! Boss was away today and it was a little less stressful but I did miss her too.
After work I picked up Kris and we went to the gym for a spa as we both needed to relax.
I had a phone call from my friend that moved to Hokitika tonight and we were on the phone for like an hour! It was a really funny conversation and I enjoyed chatting to her and OMG my life looks like a million dollars at the moment after talking to her and her BAD BAD week he he he. I wish I was closer to go over and give her a hug and we both laugh together but it is a long long drive he he.
I am so looking forward to my weekend with my family this weekend. We are going to do some bike riding and just enjoy time with each other. I am appreciating them more and more now that we are biking together. I am not too sure where we are going to bike tomorrow but as long as we have fun then that is the main thing. I was thinking that I might see how I can take my camera on the bike so that I can get some pictures. The camera is a little too big etc to take on a back back hmmmmm we shall see what I can do he he he.
I am going to finish reading the CSIRO Wellbeing book this weekend (I think that is what it is called but it is upstairs at the moment he he) and work out all about low GI and see whether that will help my slump.
Keeping my options open I think. Feeling a little more optimistic but still seething about the gain when I dont think I deserved it ho hum.
Anyway I am going now as it is after 10pm and I am really tired!
Love ya
Chubbymum
Thursday, 19 January 2006
Thank you
I am still finding it rather hard at the moment. I sit thinking... do I want to do this... do I want to keep up with it.
I do but I don't.
I went into one of the rooms at work today and one of the ladies said "you have lost weight" I turned around and said no I have gained. She said it looks like I am slimming down especially around the sides of my backside and one of the other girls said "yes I thought that but didn't want to offend you" OMG I would never be offended that someone thought I had lost weight. So maybe my body is portioning it differently but not losing in weight??? Not sure. hmmm
Not wanting to be thinking about food all the time but lately that is all I am thinking about and getting really tired of it.
Yesterday talking to the trainer just made me feel comfortable and it was easy talking to her... like she wasn't judging but listening. It is hard sometimes as people don't listen anymore... I mean truly listen anymore! I know that really they have their own things to get on with but she listened and is genuinely trying to help me solve my delimma.
There was a suggestion by a friend today saying why not leave the exercise and just do the food and then bring the exercise back in and see if that works. I am just not sure anymore as I do enjoy the exercise but the reason I did the exercise in the first place is to lose the weight ya know?
I have also been thinking about the No Count plan but for me I dont think it will work....
I seem to go through this every year around this time... the time where I wonder where my life is and what I am up to and what I am going to achieve this year and last year was great because I stuck to something for a whole year and I got myself eating healthier and exercising and I didn't think that would happen again.
Anyway I might come on for an update later but have a headache!
Chubbymum
Wednesday, 18 January 2006
Small post tonight
Yes you guessed it I gained!! OMG what on earth am I doing wrong. I am doing the exercise! I am tracking yet I gained hmmmmmm depressed is what I am feeling.
I biked to Kris's place today because she was having a bad day too and played Kinetics (what a fantastic game) and biked home and got dressed for the gym and then biked with Kris to the gym and back and did a Kick boxing class at the gym (8.3 kilometres I have biked today).
I talked to my gym trainer and she is going to look at my food intake and times of the day I am eating it and going to suggest some things for me. I have also decided to stop the Personal training for 6 weeks. I asked about their L.E.A.N course at the gym. For $89 you go through this course for 6 weeks to learn about Lifestyle, Exercise, Attitude and Nutrician and it was really good to talk to the trainer about the things they do on the course and it sounds really good. You actually do exercise and sort out what is best for your individual lifestyle etc. I am going to try it. Talked to hubby and he agrees he doesn't understand what I am doing wrong and maybe this will be the kick start for this year that I need and some more support re my food as my family sees what I am doing and needed someone to talk to about it that would listen and help.
Anyway little bit sore from the exercise and angry still about the weight gain.... so I am going to bed.
Chubbymum :-(
Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Exercise Machine am I
What a full on day it has been today.
Phoned Kris at 8.30 this morning and she picked up the phone (she has caller ID) and said "and what the bloody time do you call this?" he he he I said "you have bloody kids I know you wouldn't be asleep" he he we laughed. After a long chat we decided that we would bike ride to the gym. I rode 2km to get her from her place and we went to the gym and did an hour of Total Tone (which was harder than the kickboxing class the other week) We had our trainer do it with us today as we were supposed to have a one on one but thought it would be better to do the cardio class so we could get the benefit of her today.... and I found we worked harder today and sweated more and laughed so much. The music was fantastic I was singing so loud with all the songs he he he he. I do enjoy the Tuesday morning classes.
After the Total Tone class we rode our bikes home he he he.... so my total kilometres were 7.4 woohoooo for this exercise machine.
We had a chat on the way back and decided to take the kids to the lake park and have a picnic. It was a load of fun because all our kids seem to get on really well and they enjoyed it for a while but started to get bored. I will attach some photos at the end here. He he Kris and I decided to get on the swings and have my son take some photos. Now I know I have lost weight this year but I felt like a big whale sitting on the swing and I cannot CANNOT believe that I am putting this photo up here he he he he.
We went to go and get some iceblocks at the Lake shop and then while we were waiting the girl said "I am having my Tea break" and just took off. I was disgusted as she left about 10 of us standing there. So I said to Kris I am not staying and waiting and so we went to a dairy and got some iceblocks from there instead. What a nerve that woman had!!!
As you can see Quinn was laughing a lot while we were at the park he he he
Corbin and Kris's daughter were playing with the frisbee
Yep here we are Kris and I.... both of us thinking TAKE THE DAMN PHOTO he he he he
MORE PHOTOS BELOW HAVE A LOOK :-)
More photos
ARRRGHHH I hate this photo he he he.
Good night everyone
I will update later as I have my weigh in tonight to tell you if I lost or gained.... hmmm not too sure anymore because it never goes the way I think...
LOOOOVEEEE ya all
Chubbymum
Monday, 16 January 2006
Weekend!!! Where to start
Saturday:
Took the boys to their granddads place and five minutes later they were all off. So we came back home but on the way did some shopping at a couple of the country shops on the way home. It was just good to spend time with each other and not have to worry. In the afternoon we spent time over at hubby's mothers place (joy of joys) as a cousin of his was up for a couple of days. It was fun chatting and talking about things. Came home had dinner and then hubby and I went on a long bike ride 9km that evening. It was cooler and we just went around all the little tiny streets looking at the gardens and houses and seeing if there was anything out there that we could try on our garden in the back yard.
Sunday:
Was a little bit of a nightmare time wise and we still didn't achieve much... but we did the grocery shopping. Sold a couple of big things of the baby things of ours woohooooo money money money and got them out of the garage. After the groceries we got the dinner ready for when a friend came over. We did a big huge ham with lots of salad things and watermelon and strawberries for dessert. We had so much fun and in the end did singstar and my friends kids started at 7pm and then at 7.45 her hubby took the kids home and we got into the singstar again... it was so much fun we laughed and sang so much that both of us were losing our voices by 12pm he he he he he I can't believe she was there until then. I took her home and she started crying when I left as I won't see her for a year as she is going away with her family. I am going to miss her! I enjoy going and spending time with her and Sunday night made me realise that we do have so much fun together... I am glad I met her that is for sure, when I left she was crying and I was trying not to because I know we are going to keep in touch and see each other again but I will miss her! But she isn't going forever.
Monday:
Today hmmmm. Got up this morning at 9am (it was fantastic not having to get up for kids) and then I got a shower (hmmm no kids again all relaxing) and got dressed to go into my old job and see everyone.
Well I walked in an there were gasps and they kept saying how great I was looking (I hadn't seen them since September 2005) and they were all talk talk talk about how fantastic I was looking. OMG it was a weird feeling and like it at the start but then felt weird like I was skyting or something.... weird. I was wearing my jeans and a black top and felt like a million dollars when I was going to morning tea with them. It was fantastic to hear the great compliments and it was great to catch up with everyone too but still weird.
I am going to do the kickboxing class tonight since I missed it this morning. I am not going to do this every week but it suited my schedule today. This year I am going to do my exercise but I am also going to have a life too ya know. After reading the WW books I am changing my habits... I am doing what it says and "Realise that you have needs, Learn to say No, Bin the Guilt, Consider what you want to do"... so this year I am going to do that. I am going to Learn to say No and I am going to do what I want to do and if I don't want to change my schedule then I won't but I am going to do things to benefit me and for me only.... I have to learn to be a little selfish I think he he he. It felt really good not having to rush today. I sometimes feel going to the gym in the morning that my hole day is rushed from the gym right till I go to bed and I haven't sat down and smelled the roses.
So I will update to tell ya how the class went today..... Chubbymum
UPDATE
Well I had all intentions to go to the gym tonight but my friend that we went over to her place on New Year's Eve came over unexpectantly and we ended up chatting and there wasn't enough time to get to my class but that is ok as soon as she left hubby and I went for a 8.7 km bike ride in 40 minutes woohoooo I felt exhilerated afterwards as there was a beautiful sunset and it is a fantastic special time with hubby. I enjoyed riding my bike with him tonight.
Anyway that is my update.
Chubbymum
Friday, 13 January 2006
Thank you
My Manager (who used to own the business but is now Managing it and the other owner isn't there anymore) and I got on really well today.
I was thinking about it tonight and it is fantastic that she is now talking to me more. Before it was like Directors and me the financial administrator and now it is like we are a team. I have been given so much more responsibility today at work it is amazing and she has confided in me more... it feels more relaxed for some reason. They were great people before but felt like it was them and me in a strange way. I have been given the budgets for our new centre and I am going to be looking after them (which is what I thought I was hired for but things were hard for them to delegate before I came to the conclusion).
I lost half of my job as it all goes up to the main centre in Auckland now and so I was so afraid that I was not going to have anything Financial left in my job description (which meant I would be looking for another job or I would get bored) So getting the buget stuff was fantastic today... but I must admit she is not a financial person she is totally inspirational in the Early Childhood teaching part but financial hmmmmm NOT he he he.
Anyway what I am trying to get to is that she left early today and phoned about 15 minutes before I was leaving and I picked up the phone....
and she said "Grumpy person here"
I said "Sorry?"
she said "I just thought I would phone and say sorry for being so Grumpy today and thanks for listening"
I said "If that was Grumpy then I can handle that wohoo"
she said "just thought I was a bit snappy today"
I said "no it was really good that we could chat and I really enjoyed today".
Isn't it funny how we perceive things sometimes that isn't there. It was nice to know that she could confide in me and she knew it goes no further.
The work she gave me today put me on such a high as I DO NOT like being bored not under ANY circumstances, it just makes my day sooooo slow.
I got another compliment today at work OMG OMG maybe I am wearing just the right clothes or something but I haven't lost it on the scales and it isn't like my clothes are falling off but the more compliments the more it encourages me and I miss that. I seem to be always bringing other people's spirits up in my life but nothing in return.
Thank you all for you comments in the last couple of days I appreciate it. It makes me keep going to know that you posted because you cared!! When I stop posting and I stop getting comments that is the time I feel like I am slumping and I don't lose.... isn't it funny how that works. I think that is why I am reading so many weight loss magazines and books that I can get my hand on at the moment.
I feel like I have been good with my eating today but I am still sore from the Kickboxing on Wednesday night... I really really really tried hard and I think maybe I overdid it he he he.
Good nightttttt
Love Chubbymum
Thursday, 12 January 2006
I went to my kickboxing class last night and thoroughly enjoyed it!!! I met some new people there and they asked what the class was like at the start of the class and I said it was fun and not as hard as you might think but OMG it was so HARD she was out for us tonight he he he and I worked so damn hard and sweated so much that my whole head of hair was wet and my back too OMG my back was sweating he he he. I am wearing the same T-Shirt that I wore last year while doing the kickboxing and I looked in the mirror and felt frumpy in it last night... it was too big woohoooooo it was great!
I was so sore this morning with my arms and legs and a little stiff in my neck as well but it was worth all the exercise that is for sure.
I am been thinking tonight about possesions and how sometimes we strive to get all the things in life and toys but after the time I spent with my family in the last couple of weeks the things didn't make a difference.
Camping in the back yard with them and roasting marshmellows on the fire and riding bikes with them... having all the toys in the world means nothing!! It is only money isn't it! Corbin and I have been spending more time with each other like biking up to the Library and reading and just having fun. And Quinn and I biking and roasting the marshmellows... it has been great. I have enjoyed these holidays with them.
I got a compliment today at work from a younger girl (little bit big too) she said "OMG you have had a great holiday haven't you!!" I looked at her and said "why? I haven't told you what I have done" she said "you have lost weight and you are looking so happy" OMG it blew me away. I haven't lost that much over the holidays (I thought) that anyone would notice but she is the sort of person that doesn't give a compliment often THAT IS FOR SURE and for her to say that put me on a high for the rest of the day.... I was walking taller he he he
I have no kids this weekend Wohooo they are going with their granddad camping (I will miss them terribly) but hubby and I are going to do some things together and bike riding is one of them..... A marathon ride is in the plan and I will calculate the km's and when finished will tell you how much. We are going to spend the time together and do things that we can't or can't manage to do when we have the kids.... like sleep in and read books hmmmmm read booookkkkks.
Anyway it is getting late and I am off to bed.
Love Chubbymum
Wednesday, 11 January 2006
Battle
I am not going to put my weight up for a while..... I am going to say I lost or I gained and I am going to keep writing like I have but I have been angry for my loss of interest because of the competitiveness that I have. I don't want to compete because it makes me back off!!! and this is the way that I feel I can stop it in my mind.
I want to lose for me! I don't want to keep thinking why am I not losing as much as others. It is driving me insane and the more I try the less I lose and I cannot handle that at the moment.
I was sooooo angry with my family and with me last night after the weigh in (even though I lost) but I felt with the effort that I put in.... others that I know would lose a lot more. I shouldn't have been angry with my family that is for sure but took it out on them and it was wrong.
OMG I am tired of hearing... 'muscle weighs more than fat' that is for sure... I am not happy with that excuse at all... because I have been doing exercise for a year now not a month or a week and the muscle thing seems to get used for everything ya know.
I have enjoyed the last couple of weeks with the exercise I have done. It has been interesting and I have pushed myself and I have learnt heaps that I need to try different things and do things for me more often as it gives me such a kick and such a thrill of excitment that I did this for me.. he he he he
Ok... enough from me.
Good night everyone
Love Chubbymum
Monday, 9 January 2006
Upset and Angry
We were sent here from the place we brought our bikes from and the young guy fixed it really quickly but when I walked in there was a guy there (probably in his late 30's) and he looked at me when I walked in as if to say "what the hell are you doing here with raised eyebrows etc" I gave him the worst look and pursed my lips and put my eyebrows up because he made me feel soooo small you wouldn't believe. I really hated that and was soooo angry inside my tummy.
I know I am a big person but it does not mean that I cannot get out there and get some exercise to get the weight off. I wanted to do a voodoo ritual on the guy that is for sure. Then we went to buy something else for the bike and my husband was standing at the counter and the guy ignored us.... I looked at him and said "do you mind" he said "oh sorry" GRRRRR arsehole. It was the worst customer service I have had in my whole entire life. What a rude ARSEHOLE. I know it doesn't sound like much but the look was what got me and my hubby.
It is people like that that make me wonder if there are other people out there disgusted with the way I look. My husband as we were walking out the door said in a loud voice "it is the last time we will come here the guy behind the counter was rude and the customer service sucked" but he added that the young guy was nice. I am sure they heard that is for sure.
So CYCLE TIME SUCKS big time with customer service... I am one of those people that believes in customer service and if it sucks then I will tell 10 people and they will tell 10 people and so they get a bad reputation. So I will not buy anything from them and I will tell everyone I know not to as well.... woohooo for the internet.
Other than that I am feeling quite positive. I didn't go to the gym today but Tania phoned about 10 minutes ago and we are going to bike over there to visit her. I am going to miss her when she goes to Hokitika for a year. I spend afternoons there chatting and it is great. Hopefully this year with Corbin's class I can meet someone and do some things as I am getting a little bored and wanting to get out and about. I miss my friend from Wellington and wished that she was up here..... it is really hard to find someone that you like spending time with and I get so bored!!!
So hopefully this afternoon doesn't rain...
Will update later as it is only 1.20pm..
Love CM
UPDATE:
I have been thinking this afternoon and maybe I was a little bit oversensitive when I went in to the bike shop. Hubby doesn't seem to think so as was there too and I cannot really blame cycletime for one guy and maybe he was having a bad day. BUT I did feel really uncomfortable that is for sure.
Anyway Tina has made me realise today how much I have been missing doing my digital scrapbooking so here is a page I did today. Just a quickie but I am going through my photos month by month and doing some pages wohoooooo. ..... had a bit of trouble uploading but it is now below this post woohoo.
Sunday, 8 January 2006
It started out to be a.....
Went back to where I brought my bike to say that the tire is leaking from the valve from the day we got it and we have to pump it up everyday and it stays up but over night it goes down.... so the place was excellant and has given us a place to get it fixed and they will pay for it... so woohooo when I have a tyre that doesn't have the air come out overnight.
We had lunch and then after lunch we rode our bikes over to a friend of Corbin's from his class and went in their pool and had a couple of drinks. We seemed to get on really well with them both and think we might do it again. It feels so nice to go out where the parents and kids get on really well. Thought we might do it again!
So I got another bike ride in today Wohooo. I have 2 days to go until my first weigh in for this year and I am REALLY nervous. Usually when I feel like I have lost weight the scales say different so I am hoping like anything that the scales tell me what I want this week coming?????? oh hope I hope.
I am started to feel the problem with all the exercise I have been doing lately. I am tired and just want to go blah and it hasn't happened in almost 2 weeks. I need some time off! But I have not wanted not do the exercise which is a miracle for me that is for sure.
It is really good to see so many of my blogging friends coming back to posting (I have missed you all). I am back to work this week and sort of looking forward to it.
Anyway I am going now.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
Saturday, 7 January 2006
Bet it is getting sickening
I went on two rides today TWO TWO TWO. First one was with the boys to the dairy to get milk (instead of using that naughty car) saves us money on petrol too woohoooo. Then the next one was going to Chartwell with my 6 year old to the library where we rode there and read our magazines and books and got some to bring back with us and then came home and my lovely lovely hubby made us tomato tartlets from the WW recipe book woohooo!! they were pastry and tomato and a little bit of cheese with salami and basil pesto OMG OMG they were sooooo yummy I was impressed.
So my exercise was fantastic today and I haven't gotten bored with it yet because it is bringing me closer to my boys.
Back to the routine on Monday with going back to the gym and the youngest is back at creche on Tuesday and I am back at work on Wednesday but I am going to still keep up with my riding that is for sure.
Put up the pool this afternoon and we were relaxing in it this afternoon about 4pm... got a little bit sunburnt I think (feeling it but can't see it being burnt).... felt a little bit adventurous out there in my togs and before getting them off I was in shorts and a singlet (shock horror to me that is for sure) I haven't worn shorts and a singlet in years as I have never ever ever liked ither of them as it showed too much skin and I know for a while longer I will not be out in public like it until I am feeling better. But... it was a big step for me to do it at home first.
I can tell you that I wouldn't want to be a full time at home mum because it is great for these two weeks but I would go insane if it was any longer than that.... how do you full time mums do it? I feel like a vegetable and I haven't had a lot of contact with others to get out of my square..... certainly doesn't feel like it could be a good thing forever.... yes it is nice being at home with the kids part time but I have felt that when I am here full time I don't want to spend as much time with them as I do when I am part time (if that makes sense).
BTW Helena glad to see you are putting yourself out there girl!!! You are an inspiration to me! You are a rock!! I am glad others can get to know you and benefit too! ;-)
Anyway I might come along later to update more if I can
BYEEEE
Love Chubbymum
Friday, 6 January 2006
Parents day out
I have gotten closer and closer to my husband over the last couple of weeks it has been fantastic. Hubby had the day off today and the boys were in the creche so we came home after dropping them off at the creche and had breakfast to wait for the weather to stop raining he he he and we sang singstar (what my friend Leanne loaned us for 2 weeks) it was so much fun that my mum was having a go too and we were up dancing around to the music... talk about sweating it out he he he.
At 11am the rain finally stopped and we went out for a bike ride. We went up our hill over to the flagstaff (where our gym is) and then up flagstaff to the walk bridge over to Pukete and then up the Pukete hill and then back down the main road down the river and up to the Pukete bridge and over to Chartwell from there. It took us 2 hours with 10 minutes on that for a drink at Chartwell... and then back home again OMG it was like being teenagers again we were chatting and laughing and OMG my legs are soooooo sore today. But not as sore as when I started off. We are going to be doing this more often together (without the kids and with).
Then guess what we did when we got back YES YOU GUESSED IT we sang singstar again he he he he and boogied on down he he he.
Then hubby went for a sleep and I went to my friends place to help her with making a birthday cake. It was fun to spend time there and we laughed so much I had a great afternoon with her.
Karen!!! Thanks for listening to me yesterday I needed a friend who would listen to my rambling. I appreciated your ears! You are a true friend.
I am laughing my head off at the moment Corbin is singing sing star and loving it. It is amazing how only being at school for a year and he is reading the words to sing the song's. My mum is singing with him. If I had a video camera now it would be fantastic.
Where has today gone!!!
Thought I would leave you with a photo of me and my family on bikes he he he he!!! My mother in law took the photo and I wish that she would have taken the whole bike instead of the handle bars up GEEESHH ;-)
One day I am going to be smaller than hubby... only 20 kilos to go he he he!!! It will happen.
Love ya all
Chubbymum
Wednesday, 4 January 2006
Second post tonight Thanks Brelle
Thank's Brelle your post has made me think! You are an amazing person and I am going to be you one day! Be proud girl!
The picture above was taken Christmas 2004
The above picture was taken Christmas 2005
I am proud of myself looking at these!!! It has finally dawned on me that I succeeded this past year! Without me doing this for myself I wouldn't have done this.
It is not saying that all my cyber friends and gym friends and family haven't helped (because you all have) but without me perservering I wouldn't have come this far WOHOOOO. So once again thanks Brelle for making me go through my pictures.
Love CM
Absolutly Positively Buggered
Got up this morning and by 8am I had biked to Kris's place up the hill and down and got her on her bike he he he he blaming me from the start he he he and we rode our bikes the long way to the gym (with the wind coming straight at us) OMG that wind was atrocious that is for sure. The trees were swaying and trying to bike was soooo hard my thighs were screaming he he he.
Got to the gym and did an hour of weights on arms and legs. Kris and I practiced our kick boxing punches ARGHHHHH and then headed our way back home up the walkway bridge and up the hills and finally back to my place OMG I was huffing and puffing like you wouldn't believe.
I got showered and the kids got a bath and then it was off to my friend Rebecca's mothers house as she is down from Auckland visiting her parents. She has 3 kids and when we got there we had some little muffins and then went on a bush walk along the river (that I haven't seen before and looks new). Went all the way to a little beachy part of the river and the kids played in the water with only their undies and then we walked back.... it started to pour down with rain so hard that we all got soaking wet.... I MEAN SOAKING WET he he he but it was fantastic but I was so tired that you wouldn't believe after the bike ride and the gym.
It was great catching up with Becks again as she is my youngest son's God parent her and her husband. I miss having her in Hamilton but hey we still keep in contact and that is the main thing that is for sure.
Came home and got mum and off we went again out shopping to get some food for our visitors tomorrow and I got to look around Whitcoulls.... (I am addicted to that shop lately that is for sure).
So today I am totally exercised out.... apart from the bike ride I have done 7000 steps OMG putting on top of that the bike ride and gym. I am so proud of myself today!
I finally joined WW magazine subscription a couple of days ago. Sick of waiting and waiting for it to come out and apparently the magazine goes to the subscribers first so for the next year I can get it at home wohoooo. It is a fab magazine and I keep them and re-read them.
I can't wait till Friday... hubby has the day off and the boys are at creche for the day so hubby and I are going to make a picnic and take our bikes down the river and have a picnic and bike back. I so so so so hope that it isn't windy as I don't know if I can take another day like that.
When hubby got home from work this evening we were trying to fight to have a talk to each other over the kids talking and talking and then when I walked away he said WAIT and I said what he said "I want a hug" it was nice... he said he hadn't seen me all day and he had missed me... OH that made me feel nice. I had missed him too sigh.
Anyway that is enough for me.
Another day tomorrow.
Love Chubbymum
Tuesday, 3 January 2006
Felt quite depressed all day
Didn't get out of bed till midday.... all my friends were away on holiday and wanted to be there with them that is for sure.
Read my book and played on my laptop in bed this morning. Hubby looked after the boys as he is going back to work tomorrow and knew I probably needed the break he he he.
Went for a bike ride this afternoon for and hour and a half with the boys and thoroughly enjoyed it apart from the wind he he he.... what strange weather it is this holidays with the wind.
Getting a little anxious about weigh in next Tuesday and was having a big talk with hubby about it. I have been tracking for the last 10 days and keeping within my points and not using exercise points so really that isn't too bad but hmmmm ya just never know with my body aye. So it is 1 week today and I will find out how Xmas went. I had two blow out days (Xmas and boxing day) and decided that I wasn't going to worry about pointing on those days but got straight back into it after those 2 days.
Hubby is out mowing the lawns and the boys are out with their indian friend up the end of the street. It is quite nice that they have a little play mate to play with.
I think I might go over to Leanne's tomorrow as she said that we should pop around as they are always home. I miss doing that with my friends that moved to Wellington and Auckland and I need the company and it was nice being asked so I think I will take her up on it more often.
We get on really well and it is relaxing over there and she makes me feel so comfortable or like we have known each other for years anyway. Felt a bit lost over the holidays. It was really great to spend time with the family as I really enjoyed it but sometimes adult company is in order. One of my resolutions is to make more friends and spend time out doing things I wouldn't normally do so it will start with Leanne. She also said she was starting the gym at the end of January and we are both going to train this year for the Special K Triathalon in 2007 so that would be good. Her sister in law is one of my kickboxing teachers so she is being hounded to get back to the gym as well.
I have also started a little online support group with a couple of my old support group ladies that I was in at the start of 2005 but things happened and the others dwindled but we still kept going so we thought we would start fresh with a new name and try to post once a day. It is good as I really need the ongoing support and they have been there for me this year.
I will post again later on. ;-)
Love Chubbymum
How weird is that.... I got off from posting about Leanne here and she phoned to see how I was and if I had enjoyed the New Year's eve party. She also said that we could borrow their Playstation sing star while they were on holiday and was going to come around for a coffee tomorrow.... woohoo that sounds fantastic... need some adult company (other than hubby and my mother) so I am looking forward to that.. It was really nice that she thought to phone and see if we wanted the playstation.
Wohoooo.
Monday, 2 January 2006
I sound like a broken record.
I have been on two bike rides before 2pm today already wohooooo. I have been tracking and I have been doing the exercise and trying to keep active and if I don't lose weight I am going to wonder why next Tuesday but if I don't I know I am happy with myself and that I have been tracking but I wouldn't say I have been totally to points but 1 or 2 over but then again I have exercise points too so I haven't really counted them.
Went this morning at 10am with the boys for a bike ride and we got a little lost as we were trying to find the new walkway to a new subdivision but couldn't find our way he he he he but tomorrow we are going to go again and try and find it. Came home and put down the christmas decorations in the boys room and ours and through the house and then he he he he..........
I wanted a V but decided if I was going to indulge in a V then I had to go and get it on foot or on my bike... so got Corbin and we went for a fast ride to the shops (wind against us again GEESH he he) and the indian guy in the shop was smiling when I walked in with my helmet on and when I got the V's he said do you want a bag with that (nicely) I said I am with my son and he brought his back pack.... he said "nice day for a bike ride with the family" it felt nice as he wasn't being rude because I was a big person but sort of felt like he was encouraging me it was nice.
This afternoon we took down the tent and it left the grass all white in the patch it looks so funny and we also moved the lounge around a little so the tv and the stereo are all together and hooked up the the surround sound it feels nice and homely now.
So I am pretty much buggered.... mum came out of her room and said that we could go and have a sleep if we want but it is 3pm and if I do I want be able to sleep later on. I said tomorrow would be good for us to catch up on our sleep if she wants to look after the boys then that would be better.
I have to say Thank you to all of my wonderful friends that have posted such wonderful comments it is really really keeping me going. I have made so many friends on here I am totally in awe at how much your comments keep me going. Thank you!!! I really need them to keep me on this and motivated and I will try my hardest to motivate you and read your blogs as well.
Anyway I am going to come back on later on he he he just thought I would update while I have some time away from the kids.
Love Chubbymum
Sunday, 1 January 2006
New Year's Resolutions
You Are a White Rose |
You represent youthfulness and purity. Your vibe: Sweet and heavenly Falling in love with you: is like falling in love for the first time |
Awwww I didn't think about myself like that but I like it he he
Hubby had a major hangover this morning but still we got up at 11am and had brunch and hubby and I went for a 20 minute bike ride to get a V he he he and on the way back we had a head wind. OMG I thought for a minute there we were going to be standing still while peddling out little fit away he he he he and when we got off the big road and went into the side road I was so looking forward to the wind not being in out face but it was still at an angle that it was straight in our face again GRRRRRRR but it felt exhilerating (there is that word again) because a year ago I would have jumped off and walked as it was too hard he he he.
Hubby and Corbin (our oldest) are on the computer in the play room on the internet researching... it is so great to see them having so much fun and Corbin learning about things that he wants to find out about.
Corbin heard the New Zealand anthem on the radio in the car and couldn't remember the words from school so hubby said "let's research it on the internet to see if they have the words for you" and they found it with the song and sang it.
Now they are just looking at other things. I know that sometimes (for young ones) the internet is a bad place but I reckon if you teach what is right from wrong that is all you can do. They will know what to do if you brought them up right! But...We are getting Net Nanny in the next couple of weeks so that we can keep an eye because at 6 he is still a little gulable but he is learning so much and is such a sponge. Did I tell everyone that he is only 6 and his report card said he is reading at an 8 year olds level??? I am so proud of him that is for sure. He has a thirst for knowledge Woohooo.
Ok so I know that people make Resolutions and they don't end up happening but...
I made a resolution last year to exercise and to lose weight and I did this year so I am going to put down some 2006 New Year's Resolutions for me personally and I am going to stick to them.
1. I want to lose another 20 kilos in 2006. I know that putting a number on it isn't good but I have to aim at something and by the end of 2006 I want to have lost altogether 42 kilos and I have to aim for that. To do at least 4 days of exercise and if it is not the gym but other things then so be it! Explore this weight loss arena and enjoy what I am doing.
2. To enjoy my family more. They are the most important people in my life and they are to come first before anyone else. To spend quality time with them OUTDOORS and enjoy them every single minute of the day.
3. To go out more with friends and meet new people. Stop being an at home person and not enjoying life. But to make sure that I am being true to me and not doing it for everyone else... to learn to say NO it isn't me if I don't like something as well.
4. To join a dancing club, or tap dancing class or Digital SLR photography class. To explore things outside exercise as such for weight loss but for enjoyment.
5. To explore me this year and to find out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I am in a wonderful job that I like and I really like the people I work with. But it isn't what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to get into something creative and I have to explore that and find out what I really want to achieve.
6. Digital Scrapbook more and not just think about it DO IT!! I have access to my computer and I have to do it!
7. Try and spend quality time with my Mum and take her places and get her doing more things than being at home.
8. Save some money! I don't need anymore material things in my life. I want for nothing and so I would like to save for holidays and for things that I want to do later on... study or travel or whatever but we just don't save enough.
9. Last but not least ENJOY MY LIFE!
Love Chubbymum
P.S this is rather long today he he he... but I took another thing from Tina's blog and thought I might incorporate it here.
Week 1:
* Drink that bloody water he he
* Track Track Track
* Update Chubbymum every day
* Go to the gym at least 3 times this week
* Go for a bike ride with hubby and with kids
* Take 10 minutes for me each day.
New Years Eve
I have a group of ladies that get together every Monday night to watch Desperate Housewifes... we met at the creche (where I work) they are mums of kids in my youngest son's group. So Leanne invited us over to her place for New Year's and at first I was a little nervous as I have never met any of her friends and family so we were a little aprehensive and not because of Leanne and her hubby because they are fantastic people but just a new situation and new people. BUT they were all so nice and I could see myself getting to know them more as everyone was so friendly and easy to talk to. We drank we ate and we sang Singstar and had competitions with each other and danced and drank and danced. At midnight the birthday boy and his long time friend took their clothes off he he he and streaked down the street and back he he he.... if Kris was awake at midnight she would have seen these two men naked running down their street. I was laughing so much my sides hurt so much. I haven't seen that sort of behaviour since I was a teenager but it was horrible it was funny and they were just enjoying the celebration.
I have not felt so relaxed in anyones company in such a long time. We were talking about our camping trips and thought that Leanne's family, my family and Kim and her daughter will get together on Waitangi weekend at Athenree camp and have some camping fun for the weekend. I cannot wait that is for sure. They have this holiday fund with family and friends that they put money into and at the end of the year they all go away somewhere. I thought that was such a fantastic idea and would love to do that.... ya never know we might do it with them next year.
Leanne said that they are home most of the time and we should come around more often and I think that will be my New Year's resolution to have more fun and visit perople like them more often and enjoy my life. I can stay at home anytime and I am tired of being stuck in the house and not going out because of my size... it is a new CM that is going to come out this year. Leanne and I are going to do the Special K triathalon January 2007 and I am going to loose another 20 to 25 kilos this year to make it 40 to 50 kilos lost all up by Christmas 2007. But.... yes there is a but I am not going to make it rule my life this year. I am going to go out and have fun an incorporate this lifestyle change into my life and have more fun. And explore things that are good for me and my family.
One of Leanne's neighbours came to the party last night and she was a lovely lady. She said to me when she first came in that she knows me from somewhere and after she had a LOT more to drink she said "TLC, I have seen you there haven't I?" I said yes I go there. She said that she remembers seeing me with my tall friend and we were on the rowers and having so much fun and she was sitting there thinking "wow she is having so much fun with her friend and how proud she was of me getting out there and doing it" Wow I just couldn't believe that I had made an impression on someone without even talking to them. Her hubby said that he is sure he saw me on the 30th riding my bike with my hubby and kids. I said yes that was us... he said he saw us and thought what a lovely family thing to do and it looked like everyone enjoyed themselves. Yes we do! We do enjoy it as a family so much that I have inspired Kris and her family it seems to get out and do some family exercise. Woohoooo!
So needless to say I have a sore throat this morning from the alcohol and all the singing but... I LIVED LAST NIGHT, I AM LIVING and I have the most fantastic family that wants to spend time with me and we are just a great family unit!! WOOHOOOOO
Have a great start to the New Year everyone and thank you for being on this wonderful journey with me.
Love Chubbymum