Struggling to be honest

Struggling with work life balance.  Thought that my co-ordinator was pretty decent until last week.  It is interesting when you find out who you can trust in situations.

I have been involved in two major projects for my company in the last year and both really successful and one of them making millions for the company and thought that the support would have been better but apparently I see it differently.  So I suppose it has made me realise that I can trust no one and I need to do what is right for me and I won't be doing anymore than is required for work from now on.  Have to start looking after me and not after work who aren't looking after me.

Traveled so much for work this past two weeks that I haven't had time to blog.  I have been in Auckland Christchurch, Palmerston North, Whanganui, and New Plymouth OMG I have been everywhere man.  But with that comes travelling and not so wonderful food choices.  I did walk around Hagley park at 5.45am in the morning with my work mate so that wasn't so bad.  With her out there with me I don't eat as bad as I could if I was by myself.

Only 4 weeks until Quinn goes to California to represent New Zealand I have still have more fundraising to do.  We are doing a step challenge fundraise up the Hakarimata's, a movie night (which is costing me at the moment as I can't seem to get anyone to come and we have paid for the seats) so if you want to come to see Deadpool on Sunday 27th in Hamilton please please buy a ticket off me.  They are $20 but that is about only $3 more and it will go towards Quinn's fundraising.  I am having such a hard time selling them.  If not we have 78 tickets and we paid for empty seats.

I have also made so many signs for people and feel like a little factory at the moment.  Here are a couple to show you.  I have done more but didn't take the photo

Stayed the same with the weight.  Work stress and trying to find money for Quinn to go away in 4 weeks time with has put a toll on me.

Just got back from a walk.  Decided I am still going to keep up my walking at least

So are you all posting as well?? Tracey? Wanna B? Lee-Anne?

Chubbymum

Out with my boys

I want to come on here and say it all. I am a little scared to now.  I used to be able to say what I think but things don't feel the same since I gave up blogging years ago.  I hope it will get better but been burnt.

Last night was amazing.  J had his buddies over for Poker so the boys and I went out for dinner (probably not a good choice of dinner but I spent time with my boys) and then we went to the pool hall and played a couple of games of pool.  It was good to relax with them and just be us and not worry about other people.  We laughed and I won 2 games out of 4.  I don't think Corbin thought I could play and the first couple of times I was just sinking one after the other and he was like getting a little mad lol but as I said to him when I first start off I am good then I get worse lol.

Had a really tough week this week.  Someone told J and I something and I am struggling to come to terms with it.  I can't say right now but at a later date I might but it turned my world upside down and inside I have been struggling to understand. 

I lost 500 grams this week.  I am all good with that.

J and I will be together for 30 years June 2019 and we were thinking of going to Rarotonga so I have a year and 1 month to get myself in order.  If I lose 500 grams a week then I can make it to 115 kgs by then.  If I lose more then that will be even better.  But realistically 500 grams is enough.  I have decided that when I go hard out I FUCK up so I need to be realistic.

I need to lose this weight and keep it off and not gain it back.

I need to read blogs and support people and have people support me.  So please comment so I can come and comment on your blog. 

Let's support each other.

Booked up

Work has been full on in the last couple of days and it is going to get even bigger.  I am part of a project team with myself and another person and it has taken off that the owner wants us to take it around the country OMG......

Stress levels will go up I fear :-)

Can't wait for the weekend to be honest.

Went for a long walk last night and it was great.  J and I got to talk and Charlie got walked and it was a lovely night out.

I must say though I am not sleeping right at night at the moment.  My brain is full of so many things that I can't drop off.

We even tried a podcast of a man talking and it is supposed to get us to sleep NOOOOOOO it doesn't it just weirds me out because he makes sense at the start and then he doesn't make sense and I then start thinking how is he not making sense but still talking.  So weird. lol