Tuesday 26 May 2015

Positive day at work today

Positive day at work today.

A lady that works in our office is out on holiday and has been for the last 2 days and it has been quiet and brilliant and we are loving it.  Sick and tired of her telling us to be quiet when she talks all day about her kitchen.  I don't think she means to be the way she is... she just is but it really changes the tone of the office and most people don't like being there so they find other things to do out of the office.

I found out today that one of the bosses in our head office wants me to help on a project and my boss doesn't want to let me... others think my boss doesn't want to lose me but she is stopping me learning new things and it doesn't mean I can't come back to my job but the possibilities for growth....arrghhhhhh.

Long weekend this weekend yayyy I am looking forward to it.

Short post tonight.

Night night

Update: Read a great post tonight.  I am keeping to my word of reading more about weight loss and reading weight loss magazines so that I keep going.  I read this post today and it touched a chord.  Thanks Sean you are an inspiration.

Night night again.

Monday 25 May 2015

Frustrated

Work today was a lot better.  One of the ladies I work with was away and the office was so much lighter.

The weekend food sucked to be honest and the terrible weather made it harder to keep to it.

The decluttering was great and better than sitting on the couch doing nothing.

I am getting better and blogging again and knowing that I need to get it out.

Maybe that is what the secret was for me was blogging.

I want to lose this weight so much.  I feel like it isn't going fast enough but I need to go back to basics and realise that it didn't come off that fast the last time and so it won't come off fast this time.

It is frustrating... so frustrating and I have spent the night looking for blogs that were inspiring but got more and more frustrated because these wonderful ladies and men have lost the weight and they are inspiration but I want someone that is going through losing the same amount of weight as me and to go through it with them.  I can't seem to find anyone just starting out..... and needs encouragement. The web is so big.... hate it!!!

I am struggling tonight so much. I don't actually know what to do.

I want to go in the kitchen and eat food but I know it isn't what I really want.  I am wanting to eat the food because I am bored.

Anyone else going through the same thing?

Sunday 24 May 2015

DeCluttering

Feels great to be blogging again.

As I have said before I have been so hesitant to go back in to blogging.

Late yesterday decided to go through my clothes drawers upstairs and declutter them.

I am loving this book I brought this week called Lose the Clutter Lose the Weight.  Finding that is is making so much sense.  I feel happier with cleaning the drawers upstairs and my bedroom is looking so much better. Need to work on the walk in closet next.

Got up early this morning as Quinn had an Inline Hockey game at 8.30 am and they won their game 8 to 0.  Fantastic game.  His team is the top team for his age in the club and it is fantastic to watch them working as a team and passing and doing little maneuvers to get the puck around.  I was so proud of Quinn.

Groceries today sigh.... hate doing groceries

This afternoon we had out lunch at the breakfast bar and the boys were chatting about things that have been happening.  It is great that we can sit around like that and enjoy each others company.  I do love my boys they have grown up to be such great boys.

We decluttered again lol lol this afternoon.  Decided to get in to the garage and get rid of crap.  So gratifying and the garage is clean and the area around the treadmill and weights machine is free now so Quinn and I can get in there to do a workout.

So excited about getting back in to it.  I have to take it easy though because last weekend I went upstairs to get my tracksuit pants and tshirt on and pulled my back out just putting the pants on OMG what a nightmare.  I thought the world was against me when I finally wanted to get out and go for a walk with the dog and get some exercise.  It scares me to think how my back went out with such a small thing.

HI>>>> Tracy... great to have you commenting again.  It is great to see you have a blog now.  Hi Jackie.  Are you blogging again as well?

Pork roast for dinner tonight and looking forward to it as I worked hard today.

Night night
Chubbymum



Saturday 23 May 2015

Horrible rainy day

Horrible day today and it is raining outside.  Went to get the marbles but found some blue stones instead that I really like but the vases I got were too big sigh... spent money on something I shouldn't have.  So have to go out tomorrow and find the right jars to use.

So below is Corbin and Ashley playing play station. They went to the movies this morning to watch Pitch Perfect.  I can't believe they are 16 in another couple of months and they have been friends for such a long time.  Since they were 5 years old. I am not sure if they are still going out or not because they seem to be spending so much time together and last night they went the the roller disco (where Quinn DJ's).



I will have to put a photo up of Quinn as he has grown so much.  Both my boys are so much taller than me now.  Quinn has a girlfriend called Maddy (think it is short for Maddison) and last night was there 2 month anniversary apparently.  She gave him a present.  He got chocolates, muffins and she brought him this really trendy shirt. Wow.... she is 15 and for only being together for 2 months she gets him a shirt.  He loves it and is wearing it today out.  

He felt guilty so he went out with me today and saw a soccer ball (that when they went shopping last week she adored) so he brought it for her.  That is so sweet.

I haven't met her yet but have seen her at the inline rink.  Quinn plays for the top team in "The Devils" inline hockey team for his year and she is the goalie.  It is a brutal game but he loves it and I love watching it.  Quinn used to play soccer but it was always raining and with inline hockey we get to stay inside for games....soooooo much fun.

The only problem is that he is at Inline Hockey every day apart from Tuesdays. He plays for the club, Boys High and Refs games and DJ's for the Roller Disco (gets paid for the Refereeing and DJing).


Friday 22 May 2015

Weigh in day

It was a long day travelling to conference today and got up at 4 am as we need to travel by 6 am.

First things first woohooo I lost weight this week wohoooooo

Last week: 141.7 kg
This week: 140.3 kg
Lost: 1.4 kg wohoo

The conference was great.  I got so many compliments from Business Mangers and my boss as well re my work and getting to be asked to do more senior stuff now.  Going to head office on the 4th to deal with the end of funding as my boss said yesterday she classes me as senior staff and so things are going really well with that.

In the conference yesterday a lady that went with us said that at her table when they were chatting (as they mixed us all up yesterday) with a Business Manager from my region that the Business Manager pointed at me and said to the table "she doesn't realise how good she is and I need to work out a way to get it in to her head" WOW..... that was really nice.... I felt really great when the lady at the table said what was being discussed.

Was asked to get up and present a thank you gift to the speaker today and I was so nervous about it but it went ok.

Got to get together with friends that I haven't seen in a while at the conference and the day went really well.

Food was ok and didn't go overboard

J brought me a case for my 8* tablet yesterday and I am loving it as it is easier to hold it when in bed and also protects it a lot more.  I am on it now blogging.  The little keyboard is fantastic.

Anyway off to read some blogs.
Have a great day

Thursday 21 May 2015

Little by little

I want to blog each day if I can.

Feeling good about my choices this week even though I have a terrible cold.

I brought a Healthy Food magazine today.  I remember when I was losing the weight I was constantly reading weight loss magazine and writing in my blog and focusing on 100 grams at a time.

Chris I am going to do the jar thing it is a cool visual idea and was talking with J about it last night and he said it was a great idea.

My weigh days are Friday's.  I was 141.7 kgs (311.7 lbs) last Friday so I am hoping to be 141.2 this week or even 140.7 this week and that would be brilliant

I have found that if I don't publish my weight I can't be accountable. I want to be accountable.

I want to be back down to 119 kgs by November which is my 20th Wedding anniversary.  I was happy at 119 kgs.  I felt alive and happy and just felt like I was the real me. I know it isn't what I should be as it is still overweight but I was getting there until my head got in the way.

Sick of my head getting in the way

Going to a conference tomorrow with work.  I am looking forward to it but not... if that makes sense.  I don't know what is going happen so I am not wanting to go but I get to see a work colleague I have seen in a while so it makes me happy to chat with her again.

Weigh day tomorrow.  I hope that I remember to weigh in in the morning as I want to weigh at the same time each week so it feels right.

If you are reading please comment and I will come to your blog and read and comment too

Night night
Chubbymum


Wednesday 20 May 2015

Confession

I have to say thanks to Chris for the blogging about her weight loss as it has given me the kick I needed to get back on track.

Back in 2005 to 2008 we did so well as weight loss bloggers.

In 2008 I went in to a hole and gained 20 kilos back.  I started blogging again last year and had a major anxiety attack about it all when people started commenting and I gave ups AGAIN

I MEAN REALLY!!!!!! what the hell is wrong with me.

I worked so hard to get the weight off and I felt like a failure gaining back up to 140.6 kilos.  So that was last July and I am 141.7 kilos today.  I suppose the consolation is that I only gained 900 grams in almost a year but the downside is that I haven't lost in that year.

Chris has this great idea with marbles that I might steal (should have asked first Chris) but the visual made me think wow... such a great idea and maybe that will work for me.

I have a goal to get to 119 kgs by November 2015 ARGHHHHHH that is 22.7 kg's in 6 months.  The reason I want to lose that by November is that it is our 20th Wedding anniversary and J has asked if I want to renew our vows and have our special friends and family to a small ceremony and then go out to dinner.

HELL YES... 20 years married is huge deal nowadays as there are so many divorces.  I have been with J for 26 years this June but 20 years married this November and I want to wear a beautiful dress and feel pretty.

When I lost the weight previously my mum was in good health and I was a part time worker and had two little boys.  Now my boys are almost 14 and 16 and it is time to think of me and J.

My mum in 2008 found out she had diabetes and then we went through a cancer scare because of some tests (but it wasn't thank god) with her thinking that also she  might have kidney problems and life just got too hard for me.  I started having anxiety attacks and doing stupid things like avoiding anything that had to do with Dr's or medical things.  I was driving the long way around places to avoid seeing Dr surgery's.... it was stupid and I know in my head even back then it was stupid.

I cut everyone and everything out of my life.

I can't do that anymore.  I found losing weight is so much easier when you are doing it with others and supporting others and if you do then both of you benefit.

So there you have it.